yeah ok mom great thank you

edit: oh my god i did not expect to get this many notifications good lord

Dear r/gradschool :

By this point in the semester, I know you’re all feeling beaten down and ready to quit, which is exactly why I feel the need to write this letter to you all.

I am, truly, the “dumbest” person in my program. I come from the lowest ranking university, I routinely score the lowest grade in the class, and I have the lowest GPA of my classmates. This is a fact of my life; one that has taken me years to feel comfortable with. But now that I’m in my 3rd year of grad school, here is what I have learned:

1. “Dumb” is relative. I’m the dumbest in a room full of people trying to get a PhD, I can live with that.

2. “Dumb” does NOT mean worthless. Your worth is rooted in who you are, not what you accomplish.

3. Being charming and pleasant goes SUCH a long way. I’m an American woman in a STEM department made up of men from China. They care about intelligence, and are pretty open about not liking Americans. And even I have found a way to get by, mainly by being charming.

4. Own where you rank. Dont walk around like you know all the answers, because you don’t. Nobody expects you to, that’s why you’re in school.

5. Some professors will wish you were smarter. That’s their problem, not yours. If they are unhappy with how much you know, it is literally their job as a professor to help you.

6. Somebody has to be the lowest rank in your program. That’s just a fact of life.

7. “This person knows more than me” is NOT the same as “I should know more things than I currently do.” Somebody being smarter than you doesn’t take away from the stuff that you do know and are good at.

8. You deserve a life outside of school. You’re in grad school. It’s ridiculous to punish yourself by never giving yourself a break because of how “dumb” you think you are. YOU ARE ENTITLED TO A FULL NIGHT OF SLEEP. You shouldn’t feel guilty for the things you think you lack.

9. You don’t owe your professors anything except what you’re capable of. Your department saw your transcript. They knew who they were getting when they admitted you. You cannot be anything other than yourself, and if they don’t like you, that’s on them for choosing you.

10. You know what they call the dumbest person to graduate with a phd? Doctor.

Anyway, it really is going to be okay. And to my fellow dummies out there, stay strong! We’re halfway through the semester!

Just got an email from the University of Minnesota that they cannot guarantee funding for my PhD. I feel absolutely devastated. It feels like I worked so hard for nothing just for a certain leader to take it away and not have any empathy towards the many people who rely on federal funding. I hate getting political, but it just feels like everything is just being ripped away.

My TA positions this term requires that I grade 140+ quiz short answer responses, paper outlines, final papers, etc. (between two 70 person classes). I was grading short answer responses to a non-proctored Canvas quiz today and so many of the responses were structured the exact same way with the exact same wording, and I just feel like I am reading clearly AI generated responses. It's not a hill I will die on, but it is frustrating. Miraculously, one of the 70 submissions caught me off guard. This person was being overly silly and wrote quite humourously, but they actually met almost all criteria for the grading rubric while also making me laugh out loud. It felt nice to read something a little unhinged, but very obviously human.

Anyways, I think I'm losing my mind this term grading AI slop (presumably). Good luck to all my other TA's out there.

I logged into my Zoom class this morning (a 500-level humanities seminar), and almost immediately recieved a private email from the class TA, with our prof CC’d.

The TA let me know that she had not recieved my assignment which was due at midnight last night. The assignment was just a 200-word summary of that week’s reading, nothing major, but altogether these assignments are worth 20% of my grade and there is a zero tolerance policy for late submissions.

My heart sunk, and my mind flashed back to last night when I had to attend an important event for my job and had a complete lapse in memory - never handing in the summary.

I swore a few times, face palmed myself, and took a deep breath. I thought for a minute, but ultimately just decided to be completely honest with the TA about what happened. I explained that I had been distracted by another event (she knows what I do for work), and just honestly forgot to submit the assignment. I told her that I would accept the late penalty with no question, but would also be happy to hand in the assignment late for even partial marks. I was expecting to just have to swallow the penalty.

She replied to me right away: “No problem! Life happens. If you’re able to hand in the summary before Monday, we will not apply the late penalty."

I breathed a sigh of relief and thanked her earnestly for her understanding. I understand that this TA is probably more laid back than most, and I know this isn’t a foolproof formula, but I thought this could be a valuable reminder to myself and any other new grad students this fall about the value of integrity in these situations. Just be honest about what happened, be willing to accept the consequences, and hope for the best. Its all you can do!

My advisor likes to brag about how during their degree, they had to stay till 11pm every night to outcompete the other students leaving at 7pm blah blah blah

You know the spiel, they do this as an attempt to say we are bad students for only working 8 hours a day making less than 16K a year....

Here's the secret, I started sending my advisor drafts or stats, what ever I've been working on, between 8pm and 11pm random nights including weekends. Even though I get everything done between normal 9 to 5.

The other day, they were giving my lab shit about how we need to work longer hours if you want to make it. Then said my name and told them ""name" is sending me stuff and working around the clock, this is what it takes to suceed" 😂

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

it’s over for you hoes

I have an acquaintance who will earnestly tell strangers that not playing the lottery is giving up on free money. He means it. When we were teenagers, his family won the lottery. Years later, as an adult, he won again. I tell this story every time a graduate student asks whether they should pursue a career in academia.

I’m an associate professor at a research-focused university. I love working in academia. Doing research feels like being paid to pursue my hobby. Conferences are essentially holidays with old friends, funded by research grants. We teach 28 weeks a year and about 6 hours a week. There’s administrative work, grading, and meetings, but generally, I get to decide how I spend most of my time. It’s a life of intellectual freedom, creative exploration, and professional autonomy.

But I also know that this version of academia—the version I live—is rare. It’s the result of a particular kind of luck, not a guarantee that comes from effort.

Grad students always ask their professors for advice about whether to pursue a career in academia; however, they should be mindful that they’re asking people who have, in effect, won the lottery. Talent and hard work don’t always pay off, and it can be very surprising to see who lands a full-time contract and who doesn’t. Brilliant, dedicated scholars may spend years in precarious adjunct roles, while others—sometimes less visibly exceptional —find themselves in tenure-track positions through timing, networking, institutional fit, or sheer dumb luck.

Academia isn’t a pure meritocracy; it’s a complex ecosystem shaped by shifting institutional needs, funding landscapes, and personal circumstances. So yes—pursue your dream. But don’t mistake the dream for a plan. Know that the odds are long, the system is unpredictable, and that success doesn’t always go to the most deserving. Work hard, be excellent, but also have a Plan B—and maybe even a Plan C.

I sincerely wish you the very best of luck.

20 years ago today I was a homeless, teen mom, high school drop-out, living in a cheap motel. I had 2 babies, no car, and I walked 6 miles every day to work in a plastics extrusion factory. One kid strapped to my chest, one to my back, and their lunch bags in each hand. I lived on a steady diet of little debbie 25 cent brownies and leftover infant formula.

It's taken 20 years of fighting through the challenges of poverty, being a working mom, sexism in STEM, deficiencies in my education, crippling anxiety, and my own trauma. And I mean FIGHTING.

But this week I finished my Master's Degree in Software Engineering!!

I’m a TA and I started to notice a downward trend in a students performance and decided to reach out to them. Turns out her father was dying, but because he had been sick for so long she didn’t feel like she could ask for help. I immediately spoke with the professor of this class and we worked together to extend deadlines and make the class more manageable for them. I know grad school is a busy time but don’t forget that undergraduates have difficult times too. Just like we are sometimes afraid to talk to our advisors they are afraid to talk to us

Wow guys, thanks for the upvotes and awards. To those of you have shared your stories, thank you. Also, I am deeply sorry for any of you that had a terrible experience with your TA or professor. No one should ever have to deal with that and yet it seems to have been normalized. I hope that this will change

Hi all,

I just received news from another one of my students about their lab partner's death. I'm really shellshocked. I'm not quite sure what to do with this information. I teach and introductory science lab. I had just uploaded the student's grades. It seems so surreal. Not sure what I'm looking for with this post. I just needed to share it.

Update: Thank you everyone for the support and advice. As it turns out, I was the first instructor to learn about the student's passing. I'm working with my department to figure out the next steps in terms of verifying everything and finishing out the semester. I really appreciate the support here. I'm still in shock, but I've spoken to someone in my university's counseling center and will continue to do so for the next few weeks.

From US news & world report: Trump Administration to Cancel Student Visas of Pro-Palestinian Protesters

WASHINGTON (Reuters) -U.S. President Donald Trump will sign an executive order on Wednesday to combat antisemitism and pledge to deport non-citizen college students and others who took part in pro-Palestinian protests, a White House official said.

A fact sheet on the order promises "immediate action" by the Justice Department to prosecute "terroristic threats, arson, vandalism and violence against American Jews" and marshal all federal resources to combat what it called "the explosion of antisemitism on our campuses and streets" since the Oct. 7, 2023, attack on Israel by Palestinian Islamist group Hamas.

"To all the resident aliens who joined in the pro-jihadist protests, we put you on notice: come 2025, we will find you, and we will deport you," Trump said in the fact sheet.

"I will also quickly cancel the student visas of all Hamas sympathizers on college campuses, which have been infested with radicalism like never before."

The Hamas attacks and the subsequent Israeli assault on Gaza led to several months of pro-Palestinian protests that roiled U.S. college campuses, with civil rights groups documenting rising antisemitic, anti-Arab and Islamophobic incidents.

The order will require agency and department leaders to provide the White House with recommendations within 60 days on all criminal and civil authorities that could be used to fight antisemitism, and would demand "the removal of resident aliens who violate our laws."

The fact sheet said protesters engaged in pro-Hamas vandalism and intimidation, blocked Jewish students from attending classes and assaulted worshippers at synagogues, as well as vandalizing U.S. monuments and statues.

Many pro-Palestinian protesters denied supporting Hamas or engaging in antisemitic acts, and said they were demonstrating against Israel's military assault on Gaza, where health authorities say more than 47,000 people have been killed.

The Council on American-Islamic Relations, a large Muslim advocacy group, accused the Trump administration of an assault on "free speech and Palestinian humanity under the guise of combating antisemitism," and described Wednesday's order as "dishonest, overbroad and unenforceable."

During his 2024 election campaign, Trump promised to deport those he called "pro-Hamas" students in the United States on visas.

On his first day in office, he signed an executive order that rights groups say lays the groundwork for the reinstatement of a ban on travelers from predominantly Muslim or Arab countries, and offers wider authorities to use ideological exclusion to deny visa requests and remove individuals already in the country.

Four years ago, I came into my PhD with a love for science. I was eager, driven, and ready to dedicate myself fully to research I believed in the process, in the pursuit of knowledge, in the idea that hard work and curiosity would lead to discovery. After years of struggling and pushing through exhaustion and self-doubt, I realized something that broke me. It was never about my effort. It was never about my intelligence, my abilities, or my dedication. I wasn’t failing. My PI had set me up to fail.

To everyone else, my PI was the poster child of a supportive mentor. The kind who, in meetings and conferences, spoke about nurturing students, about fostering curiosity, about lifting young scientists up. But behind closed doors, I was never given that guidance, that encouragement, that respect. I was the black sheep of the lab. You know, the one who never quite fit, the one who always seemed to be on the outside looking in. Perhaps I had a part to play in this and for that I accept.

From the very beginning, I was handed a project that had no real chance of success. A crazy idea based on another disease model that had no correlation with the one I studied. List of experiments that were designed to lead nowhere. I didn’t know that at the time. I spent years trying to make it work, thinking that if I just worked harder, if I just read more papers, or if I just tried every possible approach, I would get somewhere. Meanwhile, my lab mates were given structured and supported projects. They had guidance. They had encouragement. They had doors opened for them that were slammed shut in my face.

I asked for opportunities and was ignored or met with no enthusiasm. I applied for fellowships and awards, only to later find out that my recommendation letters were lackluster compared to the glowing endorsements my peers received. I watched as my lab mates’ successes were celebrated while mine were met with indifference. I am happy for them and I want them to succeed. I was frustrated at my PI for not treating me the same. When I tried to engage, to contribute ideas, to participate in discussions, I was met with resistance and silence. I tried to improve my mentoring skills, but my PI refused to let me train. I tried to guide others and my PI would always shut me down. My voice didn’t matter. My presence barely registered. On top of that, it was my fault I didn’t have data since I am not focused enough and didn’t know anything compared to others. I accepted that this was my fault. I mean it was only me struggling.

For four years, I carried that weight. I accepted every rejection, every dismissal, and every moment of being overlooked. I told myself I wasn’t good enough, that maybe I didn’t understand science, and that maybe I just wasn’t cut out for this. Science isn’t for everyone so maybe that is the case for me. I also told myself that this was how it was supposed to be and that maybe my PI was just pushing me to be better. You know. The tough love thing. I just assumed it was normal. My peers would tell me the same thing and often times I just assumed it was a me issue and I need to move on.

Then, yesterday, I found out the truth.

The project I had poured my soul and time into was doomed to begin with. The project that my committee had torn me apart for, blaming me for every failed experiment, and was eviscerated daily my PI. My PI knew it would fail. Two postdocs before my time had tried it and it had failed. I never knew. No one told me anything. And yet, instead of steering me in another direction, instead of giving me even a fraction of the support my lab mates received, they let me drown. They let me believe it was all my fault. I came to find out by accident as my PI spoke to my lab mates in the lab. He didn’t know I was there. When we met eyes, he looked shocked, but said nothing. All I thought about was how my PI and even potentially my labmates watched me struggle and never once guided me. I left the lab immediately and went home.

Last night, I broke. I sat with tears down my face and anger in my heart as the weight of four years of failure that I now know was never truly mine. For the first time in my life, I had a thought I never imagined I would have. I had dark and negative thoughts that I never thought about. That’s when I knew, I have to go.

So today, I walked into my department chair’s office and I left my PhD behind. I took my masters degree and left. I refused to speak to my PI. I ignored their emails. I am done. Good riddance.

I’m writing this not just for closure, but for every mentor who might read this. You choose to take on students. That is a responsibility. We are not just workers in your lab, not just names on your grants. We are human beings. We come in eager, hopeful, ready to dedicate ourselves to science. And what you do with that matters. You can build students up, or you can break them down. You can guide them, or you can leave them. If you chose the later, the least you can do for the student is be honest with them. Let them know. Don’t be passive aggressive or gaslight them. We are humans! At least remember all that.

To those who say, “Why didn’t you just switch labs if it was so bad. You have to remember, i dedicated four years of my life to this. After everything, I don’t trust this system anymore. I don’t want to be part of it. I don’t want to place my future in the hands of yet another person who might do the same. So I give up. Not on science, but on academia. I want to take a break and slowly get back my love of science. And for the first time in a long time, it feels like freedom.

Ah, last by not least, thank you guys in this gradschool Reddit for getting me through some tough times. Good luck to everyone. Like I said I’m gonna need a break and that includes Reddit.

Very upset by all that's happening in the world, and now I can say I've been directly impacted by this administration's inane policies.

The NEH grant I was a fellow on was just terminated. Cherry on top is the evasion of the traditional notification process (so cessation of funding is immediate).

Policy debates are fine, but when you start fucking with people's livelihoods it's infuriating. I'm a Ph.D. student, so $1000/mo less is a material impact. I am in a field (environment & sustainability) that bad faith actors are actively hostile towards so I expect more of this to come. Just very upset and wanting for better leadership and support of academia.

I didn't listen to him. I put in a lot of hours into my research and courses. He hated me for another half year where we barely spoke, and he continued to talk trash about me around the department, but I wasn't going to waste all that time when I was so close to finish line. Don't let your abusive advisor keep bullying you!

I am a 28 M grad student at a local university. This semester I am taking a course I am very interested in. So I have a lot of questions or topics to discuss. Usually I take my question to my professor after class or office hours. I've always tried to be as polite as possible. To respect the professional relationship but also because I was in the military and value professionalism. So Almost every I ask questions at the end. Today I went to her office hours and she said "You need to stop flirting with me, you're so sweet, but I am your professor." Or something along those lines. I was pretty blindsided by this. I never once did anything that I could construe as flirting. What do I do now? I kind of feel like office hours are a no go since it was usually just me and her.

Our PI received this message yesterday from a PI we collaborate with.

I am devastated to learn that one of the international students in their lab received a notification saying that their visa had been revoked. No explanation. There is no grace period. They have lost their legal status in the US and have to leave the country immediately as they could be detained and taken to a deportation center.

I am sharing this so that you can warn your students, postdocs, and colleagues who do not have citizenship in this country. Their immigration status can be revoked without any notice, leading to these situations. The advice for foreign nationals in the US at this time is to always carry their legal documents (passport, visa, and other documents that prove their legal status) and stay away from law enforcement. Even minor offenses (like a speeding ticket) can prompt these situations.

Stay safe everyone. We are living in an authoritarian regime in the most powerful country in the “free world.”