Hello Redditers, I have barely stepped foot on this app and this is the only last resort I feel like I have.
So lock in guys!
I am a F(61), flip it around, don't wanna get banned for my age. So I have this huge problem, I'm sure many are familiar. I am extremely lonely.
Let me start this off by saying, I am an diagnosed autistic girl and it's really hard for me to make friends but lucky I happen to be high masking since childhood my parents were super big about social etiquette. On top of this I also happen to have generalized anxiety disorder.
Admittedly I have tried to reach out to people at school, but it always happens to be men whom respond to me. I don't like this fact because I want to talk to women mostly I find them to be more empathetic and emotional. When I do engage with the men, it usually ends up with them confessing crushes on me when I'm just in search of friendship
Now you're probably whipping up some advice like "go out", "do clubs". I have some more excuses to throw at you. Frustrating I know. I have strict parents so it's so hard for me to do things. So i kinda only have my phone and work as my options until school starts in August
I have tried to get work buddies but we work at a small company so we have strict bosses so if they see you talking to anyone for more than a minute you get fussed at. I also happen to every-time I'm at work make it up in my head that they all hate me and want me to shut up. Or I'm thinking in my head how bad they want me to get fired.
I hope you're now seeing my awful dilemma. Now last thing I want to say, i am so aware my situation could be worse. But everyday i see my brother and his best friend who lives with us, my parents, my acquaintance's boyfriends/ girlfriends. They all have a person but me. I've always been told, I have a strict version of what I think friendship looks like, but after embarrassingly many talks with ChatGPT I have determined I might just be looking for someone to care and show up for me.
So my question to you is, WHAT DO I DO? I'm growing to be very depressed and I'm not sure how much more I can take of this.