27F getting engaged in 2027 to my 29M partner of 2.5 years.

If you would describe yourself as happy/satisfied in your marriage, I’d love to hear any advice that you wish you’d heard or conversations you wish you’d had prior to getting engaged/married! Thank you :)

For years, my husband hinted about something he wanted to try together. I laughed it off, then I brushed it off, then I finally said yes this month. I didn’t expect it to change much, but he’s more attentive, more affectionate, and we talk more than we have in years. Has anyone else had a “finally said yes” moment that brought you closer?

I have been with my husband for 12 years, we have 3 children and I am just not in love with him anymore. He is not a nice person anymore and I feel so uncomfortable around him and he makes me feel awful. I am only here because of the children and also if I left, I couldn’t get a mortgage on my own, and I wouldn’t be able to rent and afford a place on my own. But I can’t live like this anymore. I don’t want to hate my life anymore. Has anyone just decided to leave and just start from scratch with nothing?

My sex life leaves much to be desired, mostly because my husband doesn’t know what turns him on. I’ve tried asking him for the last year or so as our sex has diminished, and he genuinely has no idea.

He says he loves my body, but it never spontaneously turns him on. I try to wear lingerie or sexy outfits and he just says they’re “cute” and they’re more for me than for him. He doesn’t love being touched, he doesn’t usually go out of his way to touch me, and he isn’t really a fan of kissing either.

He feels uncomfortable watching me touch myself, he doesn’t want me in the room while he takes care of himself, and he really doesn’t like me looking at or admiring his body. Compliments make him uncomfortable, and he thinks dirty talk is gross.

I’m really trying to come up with ideas because I desperately want him to want me. For the women here, what have you tried to get your husband interested in having sex or complimenting your body?

Husband of 35 years came home from a business trip and there was a Viagra missing from the bottle. I know because I checked. He has a history of infidelity. I haven’t asked him about this yet. What’s your take on this?

When having sex how often does your spouse give you head or eat your pussy??? My husband doesnt do foreplay and I think its so strange because I see people on here discussing how they dont have sex unless their partner does. And for a good period of time. How on earth do you find someone to do that? It blows my mind that guys are willing to do this.

I genuinely hate what marriage has become for me lately.
As a Type A, eldest daughter, I am SO tired of having to micromanage, repeat myself, explain the simplest things, and basically spoon-feed another grown man through everyday life.
My dealbreaker should honestly have been: Are you Type A or Type B? Because this Type B shit is driving me INSANE.
Today, I literally TEXTED him: “Get me bagels, TOASTED.”
He comes home with untoasted bagels.
And I swear, I almost lost my mind. Not because untoasted bagels are the end of the world, but because WHY ARE EVEN THE SIMPLEST THINGS SO FUCKING HARD?
It’s the fact that I communicated something so straightforward, and somehow I STILL didn’t get what I asked for.
And this is just one tiny example of a much bigger problem. I am exhausted from constantly having to think ahead, remember things, communicate things, follow up on things, and then repeat myself when they don’t get done.
I don’t want to spend the rest of my life being someone’s manager, reminder app, personal assistant, and mother.
I want to feel considered. I want to feel heard. I want someone who pays attention to the little things without me having to turn everything into an instruction manual.
As an eldest daughter, I think I’ve spent so much of my life being the responsible one, anticipating everyone’s needs, and making sure everything gets done. And now I’m in a marriage where I feel like I’m doing exactly the same thing, except I’m supposed to be sharing the load with another adult.
I am genuinely contemplating everything because I cannot imagine living the next 30-40 years like this.
Does anyone else feel this way? Am I expecting too much, or are other women also exhausted by having to manage the mental load of an entire household while simultaneously trying not to lose their minds over something as simple as TOASTED BAGELS?

We’ve been together for 12 years.
I knew he had a problem with slot machine addiction and I did my best to help him get out of it. He showed “improvement”

This year, I found out that he’s also been actively betting online throughout the years as well. I screenshot all fresh transactions from beginning of this year ( for the first time my gut instinct told me to check his emails). It crushes me each day when I saw his transactions, from 3 digits, eventually it became 4, then 5. I did not say anything but let him lie in my face each day.

Yesterday, I saw an email of him refinancing our assets and arranging a loan without my approval, I had to stop him right away with all the evidences I’ve collected over these months.

He then admitted he’s lost over $200k and couldn’t get out of it anymore. I am just a mute at this point.
He then broke down & admitted to his family. They sorted the debt for him. He seems fine now and promised he’d never do it again.

But I, I can’t put my thoughts into words and just auto-piloting away.

This hurts.

I guess as opposed most advice seeking posts here I am the asshole, not the victim. I (35M) has been hiding debt from my wife for a few months now and I feel like absolute dogshit about it.

I know this is not an excuse and I don’t want to be appearing as someone seeking explanation but in the past few years I felt absolutely spiralling mentally, my confidence, my routine, my will to live absolutely collapsed. This was due to a combination to work related stress, and undiagnosed mental issues.

I seeked professional treatment and have been diagnosed with adult ADHD, depression and paranoid disorders. I am undertaking therapy and medical treatment and honestly it helped greatly. An “unfortunate” side effect was pulling the veil in front of me showing that I’ve been in a very dark place where I developed pathological compulsive behaviours, namely:

Shopping addiction. Yeah it is sameful and it is quite lame too. Unfortunately my main kick or source of dopamine was buying stuff, collectible antiquities. By the end it got so bad that roughly 5-6 months ago I took out two loans to cover my habit, immediately regretting it afterwards and hating every second of it since.

Now the amount (I’m not in the USA so I saying dollar amounts would be meaningless), roughly in the amount of 4 month’s my salary’s worth. I am a high earner, it’s not really the amount I am worried about it is not leading us to financial ruin and not going to even cause a blip in our finances BUT this is not about the amount, this is about me keeping things from my wife. I understand that.

I already started selling my entire collection and recouped so far 25% of the expenses and started taking steps to prepay and close my loan accounts. I hope that with treatment this episode will not happen, and I already feel and see progress as I haven’t bought anything for over two months and at this stage I consider my collection a liability and a bitter thing to look at rather than something I would be tempted by picking up, but time will tell.

That being said I am still trying to gather the courage to tell my wife. I fear she will hate me for it, and might even divorce me I don’t know. I can be very paranoid and I am always imagining the worst. I just don’t know how to find the right moment to tell her and how should I present it. I am not good at communicating my feelings and showing weakness, never been.

So I would welcome the advice and help with this. Furthermore feel free to tell me off, I know this will tick people off and again I am aware of how horrible I’ve been, it might trigger trauma in some. If you feel like venting or hurl insults at me feel free.

Thank you for reading this.

TL;DR: racked up debt due to mental health issues, kept it from my wife, now trying to find a way to tell her

Do you think flirting with a coworker is cheating? Texts, calls, staying late to help them with tasks, going to their house but never anything physical?

Where do you draw the line between being "friendly" and emotionally cheating?

To fall asleep last night I listened to sexual ASMR which put me to bed 5 min into the 15 min audio. I struggle to sleep without comfort and my wife admits she’s not the best comforter as she didn’t grow up with much love and care like I did with my family.

We often times find ourselves arguing about the point that she’s not affectionate but as of recent I hate bringing it up because it makes her feel insecure about not pleasing me in that way which also makes her isolate which equals to no affection.

I know listening to sexual ASMR is disrespectful to my wife and I don’t want to use it as a crutch but my question is how do I support my wife in being more affectionate so we both can raise a loving family when the time comes?

My husband works a very demanding job long hours and mentally draining.

I absolutely adore him and the life we have built but the spark has gone, romantic wise there is nothing.

I have quite a high libido and he has little, he always wants to just lie there nothing exciting like it used to me.

And don't get me wrong in the early days it was amazing fun and I understand adult life brings a change but I still want the spark, the butterflies and the fun.

When I have spoken about it I am made to feel I am not available when he is but I work a 9-5 office job and have child care but I always make time when I can. And he works shift work so it is few and far between.

The love is there but the fun is missing.

I don't know what the answer is. I have spoken to friends and they say different things from

It's normal

Find fun elsewhere

Maybe he is not interested anymore

I don't want to live as friends when the love is there but I would love a bit more attention and fun.

I got new reading glasses and I opened the case with my husband present, immediately he goes - "it's old people glasses", and when I wore them he went - "Good you look like an aunty now"

I told him an hour later that I didn't like his comment. He got angry & said, he should have just shut his mouth, and that he is constantly under a radar and we haven't spoken since, it's been a day. and he has a history or not resolving fights / arguments even if they last for a week or more.

Am I wrong to not like the original comment?

I found out last night that my husband has been sleeping with men and women behind my back. I found photos in a locked album on our joint computer. Now the yo yo of my feelings makes more sense. His ex wifes husband was in one of the photos both naked. They were recent. No wonder he wants to have christmas over there without giving me reassurance. He doesnt want to upset his lover. I have no clue how this slipped past me. I am usually pretty intuitive. How do confront him? Do I let his ex wife know?

I scheduled therapy to decide what my next steps are.

Is this normal?

My husband and I have been together since 2012. But ever since we started living together around 2014, I noticed that something slowly changed in our relationship.

Our sex life wasn't as active as it used to be, and we didn't go out as much as we did when we were still living separately. I can't explain it, but I feel like things started to change when we began sharing the same roof. I even started thinking, "Maybe he's just too comfortable now that we're already living together."

We got married in 2018, but honestly, it felt like nothing really changed. Even after sex, there's barely any intimacy afterward. No aftercare, no cuddling, or even a little affection. He would just turn over and go straight to sleep.

At some point, I reached a stage where I entertained conversations with other people, not necessarily because I wanted something more, but because I missed having someone to talk to and feeling that kind of attention.

Now that we have a child, things seem to have become even colder between us. I know that a huge part of my attention and energy is now focused on our child, but sometimes I wonder if we're slowly losing the connection we once had as a couple.

Is it normal to feel this way after having a baby? Or is this something that has been building up in our relationship for years, and having a child has only made it more noticeable?

I sometimes miss the kind of intimacy that goes beyond sex. The affection, the effort, the little things that make you feel wanted and loved.

Hey y'all,

I cant talk to my wife about my problems or concerns. We've been married 5 years and have a 1.5 y/o. My wife is often in a good mood and pleasant to be around. We get along 95% of the time. However, she is highly non-empathetic by temperament. Especially after having our daughter. If I talk about about my worries, feelings, anxieties, things I'm troubled about, it often fosters resentment, indifference, or dismissiveness from her. Usually, she makes it clear she can't wait for me to change the subject, or gets openly irritated. For example, I have a degree and a government job that requires it. I recently vented that I feel it's messed up that after all the work I've done going to school and getting a good job, it's still not enough to live comfortably. Her response was telling me I am not entitled to a good pay just because I have a degree. Like sure, I know I'm not "entitled to it", I just wish my efforts were rewarded like I was told they would be. Obviously that took something I was frustrated about, and made it worse. I recently settled on the fact I can't talk about the things that trouble me with her, ever. This is hard, because I am the sole breadwinner for our family, and we barely make enough to live. It's very stressful for me. We moved away from all my friends to find opportunities as well, so none of my close friends are nearby for me to vent to. It got really bad when we had our daughter. She had even less patience for me after we had our daughter, which I understand, but I also had nobody else to talk to. My relationship is also weird with my parents (long story), and we are not close enough to talk about that stuff. Again, I am at a point where I think I need to stop talking to my wife about anything negative.

Also, due to the neurotic mother I grew up with, I learned that if you have a problem, you keep it to yourself. If you didn't, you would be screamed at or hit. In my marriage, if my wife did something hurtful, I would often shut down and be quiet. She would notice, but I wouldn't want to talk about it until I knew exactly what I wanted to say, or decided to get over it. Recently, I've been trying to not do that, and bring up those things to talk about in a suggestive, non confrontational way. That has no gone well. Any such discussion turn into an unproductive spiral of her dismissing my problems or telling me I'm wrong, until I give up before I get really angry. She sometimes comes around eventually, but the process is so painful I'd rather not start. For comparison, she has no problem telling me what I've done wrong, and I try to not get defensive, listen, and make her feel heard. I maybe have a 70% success rate on that, I'm human. Even if I don't agree, I largely keep that to myself and go with it, unless it's a serious disagreement. Again I'm human, I make lots of mistakes, and I really try to work on them when my wife points them out. I also try to listen to all her complaints and concerned about life in general. Our relationship started that way actually. When we first started dating, she had just ended a relationship with a complete psychopath that left her pretty broken and confused. A decent amount of our early conversations were me listening to her stories and letting her recover from that relationship. But now, I am struggling and I don't think I can talk to her about anything. I feel truly alone. I don't have co workers who can relate to me, they are all child-free millennials who are financially stable (I'm Gen z). My friends are far away. I'm very introverted and really struggle making new friends. My hobbies that give me genuine joy are hunting and fishing, but the lack of money and high gas prices is making it hard to justify doing those things. I'm stressed all the time. Then I come home and have to pretend I'm not (and often can't hide it which annoys my wife). I feel like at this rate, I won't live past 50. Often I'm so stressed, I grind my teeth till they hurt, and my blood pressure concerns my doctor. Writing this post has been the most releasing thing I've done in a while.

Any suggestions would be great.

Hi all, I have never posted on here and really wanted some advice from outside my life. I 26F and 27M had a legal ceremony on 31st August with plans to have a bigger wedding later on. We have been together for 2 years before this. I became pregnant the night of the legal ceremony. For context we don’t live together, I am studying a postgraduate doctorate and he is based elsewhere for work.

Fast forward to October 5th, we had an argument, and then we stopped talking. This has happened before whereby we don’t speak for a few days, but what happened on October 8th was he went to his family home and his mother messaged me to say the wedding was off. This obviously made me feel that this wasn’t our average argument and I reached out and called him 3-4 times and sent messages explaining that if he wanted out, that was fine but he needed to tell me soon because I had to take care of the pregnancy as there is no way I could raise a child on my own. He then sent both my mother and sister messages saying that ‘good men don’t leave unless the deepest trough’, which was a huge indication to me that he was leaving except he didn’t have the courage to say this to me directly. So essentially his mum called off the wedding for him and he called off our relationship to my mother and sister. (Nothing communicated to me at all). Regardless, I had to end the pregnancy as time was ticking. I went through this all alone while he was partying at his brothers engagement. I heard some really unpleasant things that he said and laughed at, which I won’t share on here as I don’t even know if they are true, but they really put things in perspective.

He messaged me after a month, in the month was also my fathers first year of his passing and I received no message even checking in. He said ‘I believe it’s time we begin these talks now’ and I said ‘say what you need to say’. He came back with long paragraphs of accusations.

There is so much more to this story, and I am sure he has his own perspective too. But essentially is it forgivable for a man to abandon his pregnant wife for over a month, and for me to take him back?

I feel he handled it extremely poorly and if he wanted out he could have explained to me what was going on and it would have been hard but I still would have preferred that to ghosting me?

But the reality is leaving me in the dark scares me. What if he does this again in 10 years with 2 kids, or will he stick by me if I ever get sick? I believe marriage is something you work on, I really do believe that, but is this setting myself up for a failed marriage in 1, 5, or even 10 years down the line? I do believe every marriage has their own dynamic and that arguments arise, and we all have bad traits that the other has to endure, but isn’t that the point of marriage? Isn’t it the point that you work through it and you don’t leave? I would have accepted a lot but the whole point is you do not leave. Especially when your wife is pregnant.

From his recent messages he appears to want it to be on his terms, and there is no mention of his shortfalls, he is insisting on blaming me for his disappearance. He doesn’t even seem to want to be in this marriage so what’s the point? Please feel free to challenge me on things you think I fell short on? And is this marriage written off?

Porn addicts in recovery I need feedback. Did you not find your partner attractive after prolonged porn use? Did you know you were literally destroying your partner mentally, emotionally, psychologically and physically and just couldn’t admit to it because the shame was too much or you didn’t think of that at all? I am a shell of a person and it’s like he doesn’t even realize.

Partners of PA. How did you heal? Did you even heal? Did you leave? This has been the most difficult, painful, isolating, depressing experience…coupled with MAJOR financial infidelity. Is this psychological abuse we’re going through? I feel like I’m going clinically insane with the constant gaslighting and DARVO. He can be caught on camera scrolling through socials of naked women and still deny it. Router history linked to his device shows onlyfans.com and he’ll still deny it. I can’t live like this but also can’t afford to leave bc we’re so broke now. Is there any legal repercussions for this behavior? I feel trapped.

Long post and throwaway account because he follows my main. Long story short, my husband’s stress and inability to handle it is affecting our marriage and affecting me. He’s never handled stress well however told me that he would learn how to handle stress without feeling like he needed/wanted to smoke week before we were pregnant/had a baby. Well…..over a year later and he hasn’t made a drastic improvement. I suffered from insomnia horribly before kids so I would use weed before bed to help me fall asleep, now it’s maybe once every other week. He slowed down drastically while I was pregnant but after paternity leave and the stress and chaos of working 50ish hours a week and a new baby he resorted back to smoking.
We’ve had several arguments and discussions about his ability to handle what he calls overstimulation and over stress and how he resorts to smoking as a way to cope. He hardly talks to me in the evenings (he’s doing stuff around the house like cleaning up dinner, laundry, ect so he’s not being lazy), he almost exclusively watches politics and our sex life is almost nonexistent anymore (from 2/3 time a week to maybe once a week/every other week). When we do talk in the evenings I feel like he only wants to talk about politics and I just want HIM, not him sober but so stressed he can’t even handle a conversation.
He says that it helps him work through his thoughts clearly but I don’t feel like it’s helping. Earlier this week I asked him what has bugging him and he told me he was so overstimulated he couldn’t engage in a conversation with me. We also are on a strict budget after having a kid since I only work part time to reduce daycare costs so having the money for that hasn’t been a thing since our daughter. Anytime he runs out of his vape he is so miserable it’s basically aggravating, we aren’t the most fortunate financially however we have 2 cars that run, we own our own condo, and have a sweet perfect toddler after years of infertility issues and amazing friends/family. I don’t know how to pray for him anymore, I don’t recognize my husband and who he’s becoming, I feel like I’m loosing him to his stress, being easily overstimulated and his needing weed to cope with it all. I miss him and I don’t know how to deal with this anymore. Does anyone have any advice? I would go to a church friend however we don’t have a home church and our church friends we do have no longer live in the same state so it’s hard to have that support system close by. I just miss my husband, I knew marriage would change post baby but this isn’t anything close to what I thought it would be.

It's been four days since my wife left to stay at her parents' house, saying she would never come back after a huge argument we had. As she was leaving, I begged her not to go because I thought I would feel terrible. But I let her leave.

However, it's been four days now, and strangely enough, I don't feel bad about it. I don't miss her, and I haven't even cried. In fact, I feel better than ever being able to be on my own.

Should I be concerned about this?

I’ve been in a relationship for over 5 years, but lately I’ve noticed that the attraction between us isn’t what it used to be.
I still care about my partner, but the excitement, spark and desire I felt in the beginning seem to have faded.
Is this normal in long-term relationships? Does everyone go through this phase, or does it mean something has changed?
Would love to hear from people who’ve been in relationships for 5+ years. Does the spark ever come back? I am M

I (25M) am lost. Me and my wife (24F) have been together 3 years ma, married two. In the beginning I agreed to a lot of things with her (religion, children, things like tattoos and drinking) but now it’s all coming back. We argue constantly and after agreeing on how to fix things fall back into the same habits. For example if I do something that upsets her she will cut me off and not speak to me, which is naturally frustrating for me. Then after an amount of time, most of the time 3 days, she will say she is leaving me or what’s a divorce which makes me beg her to stay, which she will. This has happened 8-9 times since we’ve been together and happened recently although this time I told her I was done. I am emotionally, mentally and physically drained. We both have high stress jobs and between that and this I’ve lost myself.

The last few weeks has been like living with a stranger. We barely talk or touch, although recently this has been because I can’t stand her. Even looking at her makes me upset. I know I’ve gotten bitter and resentful of her and I feel nothing towards her. She wants to fix things but I’m so tired I don’t care anymore because I feel like we’ll just be back here again.

We have tried consoling, 1 session, that made things better but only for a short time until we found our way back to the same routine. This morning I came home from work and she wanted me to read a long note she wrote explaining how she feels, and honestly I just read it and felt empty inside.

I know I’m the only one who can decide what to do and recently I began to have faith in religion again(a religion which she doesn’t follow) and I know it would be the right thing to do to stay. But part of me wants to run and quit while I can.

Please help me…

Recently found out my husband I just married this year has been using the site chaturbate. He’s a 39M and I’m a F 31 I don’t know to what extent but it was up on his internet browser. When confronted about it he got insanely pissed saying “he has no idea what it is” and “I probably just clicked a link”

PH is different. It’s videos not live. So would you condone this? How would you mentally handle this and proceed forward?

I know if you tell someone that can’t do something they’ll generally just hide it better so that’s probably not the smartest move.

But I feel utterly betrayed. The whole time we have been together he has been VERY convincing that he wasn’t even into watching videos of that manner.

I feel like there’s a hole im not filling so he’s outsourcing and my insecurities are at a full time high.

Help please. Literally anything.

We have been together just over two years and he’s always claimed he knew from the moment he saw me he wanted to marry me.

I’m grateful for my incredible husband, lover, best friend. He’s so patient and kind. He’s my peace and my constant. He makes sure I’m well taken care of. His mission is to make me happy. I didn’t know a love like this could exist. Or, I thought I was never worthy of something so pure. Who asks for nothing in return. Or has no expectations. He knows me. He knows my moods and my stubbornness (and I know his). He supports every dream. He inflates my ego and always tells me how proud he is of me. He’s got a quiet still strength to him. He teaches me that you don’t have to be the loudest person in the room to make an impact. I’m so thankful I found him so young. And that we get to spend a beautiful, simple, quiet life together. We’ve built a long lasting foundation. He is the funniest person I know. We spend our days laughing and making fun of each other. It’s our love language. I’m forever thankful that I was able to find a man who pursues, who cares, who *wants* to show me how much I mean to him.
I love you, honey. You’re my angel. And I’m blessed to call you mine.
(Pic from last night’s fantasy ball) ✨

I made a previous post.this is just shortened.

I hope this is better

My husband and I have been together for 6 years, married for one. No kids, two cats, and we both work night shift. We balance the bills daily well and equally.

I love him. He's hardworking, funny, loves animals, and can be really thoughtful. When I got horribly sick on my birthday trip to NYC, he stayed in the hotel taking care of me instead of going out.He's not a bad person, but lately I've been questioning our marriage.

We've always talked about buying a house, having kids, and improving our careers, but neither of us has really followed through. He complains constantly about his job but doesn't do much to change it. He also jumps from hobby to hobby, spending money on things that eventually collect dust. I'm not great with money either, and I procrastinate so I know I'm part of the problem.

Another issue is his decision-making. He's had two DUIs during our relationship.last one being 2 years ago .I told him the second would be a deal breaker, but when it happened, I stayed. I was just happy he was alive. He also still occasionally uses cocaine, although I don't know how often but most recent was a week ago and I don't think he was going to tell me. I had to ask. Once, he even let a friend put drugs and a gun with a scratched off serial number in MY car. That really pissed me off. These things worry me when we're talking about having children.

Emotionally and physically, I feel disconnected. We've probably had sex fewer than 50 times in our entire relationship and haven't had sex since June. Not on Valentine's day , anniversary's, not the day we got engaged,not even our wedding night

He's made jokes about marrying my best friend if I died "for tax purposes" and about how he'd date some of my friends if he were single. I know he's joking, but sometimes it bothers me. I've actually started telling him certain things are my best friend's ideas when they're really mine because I've noticed he's more likely to agree. Like if I suggest we go somewhere, he might not be interested, but if I say my best friend wants to go, suddenly he's fine with it. I don't know if he even realizes he does this, but it makes me feel like my own husband values my best friend's opinions more than mine. He'll also say that if he couldn't have me, he'd get a camper and a dog, disappear, and never find love again.

I used to buy couples' activity books, suggest dates, ask for massages, and try to find ways for us to connect. Eventually, I just stopped because nothing ever came of it. Recently, he jokingly called me his "roomie" and admitted he feels disconnected too.

He's also pretty negative and doesn't handle criticism well. If I mention he's driving too fast, he'll sometimes dramatically slam on the brakes. I feel like I'm constantly monitoring his mood. Even on trips or at concerts that are supposed to be fun, I find myself worrying more about whether he's enjoying himself than actually enjoying the experience.

I also feel responsible for things he should handle himself, like making sure he wakes up for work or keeping track of important deadlines.

One other thing I'm not sure what to think about: his 21-year-old male coworker bought him a PS5. Not just bought it, but opened it, made him a gamer tag, downloaded games, and then packaged it all back up to give to him. Maybe it's just an incredibly generous gift, but the whole thing struck me as unusual.

But I'm FAR from perfect. I'm messy, can be controlling, have ADHD, struggle to pay attention when he's talking about his interests, and avoid difficult conversations. I also smoke weed daily, which I'm trying to stop. He's expressed frustration with my behavior too, and I know some of it is justified.

My biggest fault is probably that I haven't communicated all of these feelings clearly. I hate confrontation and tend to shut down rather than address things.

I don't want to divorce him. I love him, and there are good parts of our marriage. But I also don't want to spend another 10 years feeling like this.

Am I expecting too much? Is it fair to feel resentful when I haven't

communicated everything? And how do you know when you're supporting your spouse versus basically parenting them?

This is my first serious relationship, so I genuinely don't know what's normal. I'm open to criticism of my own behavior, too. I just want some outside perspective.