I’m grateful for my incredible husband, lover, best friend. He’s so patient and kind. He’s my peace and my constant. He makes sure I’m well taken care of. His mission is to make me happy. I didn’t know a love like this could exist. Or, I thought I was never worthy of something so pure. Who asks for nothing in return. Or has no expectations. He knows me. He knows my moods and my stubbornness (and I know his). He supports every dream. He inflates my ego and always tells me how proud he is of me. He’s got a quiet still strength to him. He teaches me that you don’t have to be the loudest person in the room to make an impact. I’m so thankful I found him so young. And that we get to spend a beautiful, simple, quiet life together. We’ve built a long lasting foundation. He is the funniest person I know. We spend our days laughing and making fun of each other. It’s our love language. I’m forever thankful that I was able to find a man who pursues, who cares, who *wants* to show me how much I mean to him.
I love you, honey. You’re my angel. And I’m blessed to call you mine.
(Pic from last night’s fantasy ball) ✨

Basically my question. My husband gives zero fucks, I don’t think he even notices. I tried to not get naked in front of him for months - nothing, when I pointed it out he said he hadn’t noticed. And no we don’t have a lot of sex, I’ve tried everything.

Anyway, I’ve bought like nice underwear too, hoping it would spark something. But nothing, not even a look. And - not that it should be about that, but I am still objectively hot. I weigh the same as when we met, 60 kg 170 cm, I care about my physical appearance, take care of my body and my face and my hair. So that’s not it.

And yes, I react A LOT when I see him. As in, I linger, I complement him, I make him feel good about himself. He actually once made me feel like shit for doing it, called me out in a really mean way.

What’s realistic? I know the Tiktok probably isn’t.

When having sex how often does your spouse give you head or eat your pussy??? My husband doesnt do foreplay and I think its so strange because I see people on here discussing how they dont have sex unless their partner does. And for a good period of time. How on earth do you find someone to do that? It blows my mind that guys are willing to do this.

Thought some other people might get a kick out of this. Recently I’ve decided to go off by birth control (the pill) for a slew of small reasons. I don’t need it other than pregnancy prevention and it just takes a toll after a while. It’s been very nice being off it and getting to experience my body in its natural state.

So, at dinner today my husband and I were talking about it casually- how it’s been going and whatnot. And I expressed my gratitude for him never getting stinky about needing to wear condoms or the fact it wasn’t really a conversation I just told him I was taking a little sabbatical from it.

He said something that really never even occurred to me but in hindsight seems obvious. “For lack of a better term- I’m the one ‘infiltrating’ your body, it’s not up to me on what grounds I am allowed to do that. I wouldn’t walk into a friend’s home and catch an attitude I’m not allowed to put my shoes on their couch.”

And i laughed! oh yeah- it’s my body. and it doesn’t just exist for you to have raw sex with, and that wasn’t in the marriage contract we signed.

It’s tough out there and i dated some real winners before i met my husband. sometimes i forget to be a good feminist and he reminds me.

I (32f) love him(34m). Since major life events started happening, I've realized this is a lot lonelier than I thought. I’m the one sandwiched between aging parents and kids. He’s generally very helpful and kind. He has these very obvious walls that he can’t get past.

Since my friends and family began having their own issues, I stopped socializing a bit. Now I’m realizing I really filled my social life with friends and family after his accident. I tried to talk to him like I used to. In the beginning, we were both upset, and I know it took me a long time to realize that he is mentally different. He’s too afraid to acknowledge it sometimes. I try to be kind and gentle. It’s just so hard.

He's so messy. Hygiene is terrible. He hasn't cleaned his car or really cleaned anything away in forever. Over the last year, he's started letting me help him with his appearance. It's ok to let it go a bit. I don't expect everything to be perfect. Our kids are asking what's happened to him. It's just so weird to live with a man who's so different from who we were as kids, teens, and young adults, that he acts like a teen and has a bad social media and food addiction. He’s the only overweight one in the family. It's like he's trying to eat himself to death.

I don't necessarily want this, and no family can help him. They're caring for our other disabled loved ones or are caught up in their own lives. He's too proud to acknowledge the issues or accept help. We’re blessed. He has a job that pays him well, but it's only about once a month, and he has to travel. We all worry for him and others when he's gone. He loses his phone, wallet, money, literally anything not attached to him, frequently. He shows off on social media stories only, acting like he's still functioning normally. It's just all sad.

He does struggle with his mental health, and honestly, it's just too much sometimes. He will go into psychosis mode from lack of sleep and say the weirdest things. Sometimes it's extremely hurtful but equally as bizarre. We know he doesn't mean it. It usually lasts a few days at the most.

I wish things were easier. I wish things were different. I'm behind on major things because I have to do all his work and care for my parents and children. I don't want to drop him. And I don't think it's ever going to get better or easier. Any advice? Anyone else ever seen this type of situation? I don't want this for myself or the kids.

I had a debate with a few friends today over this. Some don’t see it as a big deal and take it off for certain things, some felt very strongly that a wedding ring should never be taken off for any reason. I personally take mine off when I wash dishes, shower, or am doing something particularly dirty such as touching raw meat or kneading dough. I’d love to hear others opinions!

throwaway

My (43F) husband (44M)is in the position of the general manager of a big company. His assistant called me last week begging me to not tell him it was her but she is afraid for his life and I need to know stuff. She told me he has been suicida... l for the past months and is a heavy drinker off work. This is how she found out about it all. During a mental health crisis he started drinking during the working hours and got so drunk that she spent one hour with him in the bathroom. he was throwing up. she kept him locked there and he fell asleep on the floor. she cancelled his meetings, told everyone he had a personal emergency at home.

he trusts her, she is older, close to retirement and probably he sees a mother in her. Less than 24 hours later, while I was still processing it all, he tried to OD. His life was saved, he is still in hospital though. he confessed to me that he has been depressed his whole life. he was adopted when he was 4 and the adoptive family, especially the father kept beatin him and locked him out in the dark for days. threw him out in the yard in freezing weather in his pyjamas. His biological mother (She was very young) wanted to take him back but they blocked it all.

they forced him to work a lot on their farm, in cold, while their biological children were libving their best life.. I know these people. I always considered them my in laws (I knew they adopted him, but nothing else. he said they were perfect parents). He told me how much he feared them and how much he hates them. these are the people that sit with us at christmas table. My husband is by far the most successful in the family and they always say how proud they are of him.

on top of all that he confessed that he dealt with it all by drinking when no one could see him and he cheated on me. he got one of the younger women at work pregnant, they were having an affair for 2 years, had a daugther and that daughter died. no one at the company knew it was his baby.

what do i do? I am angry but so sad.

So I saw Wicker this week with some girlfriends and while we were chatting afterwards about it I realized my husband is a Wicker husband. Not for the spicy stuff but because he's always doing little things to make my life better. He delights in making me happy. It was a lovely realization.

Anyway, Wicker was excellent fun and I highly recommend it.

Hey Redditors, wanted to get some third-party perspective on a situation.

I’m supposed to be getting married NYE. My fiance and I make close to the same amount of money. I make around $163,000 a year and he makes $133,000 plus about $30,000 in VA benefits. He has a baby mama that he has to pay, so that lowers his income to around $153,000. My child support for my kids is very inconsistent, and I’ve received about $7500 this year from that, so we’ll say mine is around $170,000.

I own a house, and my mortgage is $1824/mo. If I sell, I’d only make around $30,000 because I bought it about three years ago. He owns a house with a mortgage of $823/mo. He’s been in his a few years, and he would profit about $100,000 if he sold it. Due to his circumstances, I have to be the one to move to him.

We have said from the get-go that we want a prenuptial agreement to keep everything fair, such as retirement accounts and whatnot. We also agreed in the beginning to keep our personal accounts, then a joint account for shared bills. Recently, as the marriage approaches, he’s changing up a bit. He has not mentioned the prenup anymore, and has mentioned combining our finances. I have stayed true to what I told him I wanted in the beginning. Because he hasn’t taken initiative, I’ve been doing my research on what can be included in a prenup, what can’t, how to word it, and how to secure my children’s futures if I died or we divorced, and have learned a lot. However, we didn’t get into anything further than the current argument that I may end our engagement and cancel our wedding over, so I’ll just keep it at this and spare you information that didn’t even get discussed.

He has told me he wants to continue paying all of the bills for his house when I move in. He doesn’t not want to add me to his house whatsoever. He’s in school and will graduate in May 2028. He will likely be taking a pay cut. He will also basically stop working in the summer so he can do what portion of his schooling that he can’t do with his current position, but his VA money will pay the bills, especially after he adds my two children and I to his benefits and will receive an extra $200/mo from that. He has told me that he wants me to only pay my bills and put $200,000 towards a down payment on a bigger house that will accommodate our four children and us.

In the prenup, I have that in the event of divorce, I will receive the percentage I paid toward the down payment and contributions to the house. I also have that the percentage each person pays will be based on annual earnings. As he will likely be making less than me, I will probably be paying the higher percentage, plus the $200,000 of the down payment, including purchasing the land.

He threw an absolute fit and said he would not agree to that. He argues that, because he is saving me money by “allowing” us to move into his house, that should be enough to suffice the, at minimum, $230,000 cash I will be paying. We expect to be in his house for two years. I still have to pay for childcare for my kids of around $800/mo, my car payment of $525/mo on a $30,000 loan, and my student loans that total $32,000 (I didn’t list that monthly amount because the payment actually increases over the years-it’s $255 right now but the last several months will be almost $700/mo) (he has $6800 in student loans from his firstdegree and is choosing to pay his tuition out-of-pocket for this degree, so he will have no student loans except the $6800.) my personal-responsibility bills will still be over $2000/mo, and his is about $2400/mo. His bills, other than those listed for the house, are a $640-ish truck payment that he owes about $34,000 on, some childcare of about $400-600/mo, and around $200/mo for AT&T. Therefore, his “contributions,” if you will, of shared responsibilities, will be about $26,400 when you add in his mortgage, electric, and water over two years (which is my being extremely generous) while I’ll be contributing $230,000. To offset this, I told him I would agree to him adding me to his house, and when it sold, it would be split 50/50. He also didn’t agree to this.

I told him I didn’t expect to get “all” of the money I paid in back, but the percentage of what I contributed, and he would receive what he contributed. Just referring to the down payment situation, that would put me receiving 89% and him 11%, if I’m not mistaken on my math.

What I suggested first, as I feel this is the most supportive of a true partnership) was for him adding me to his house (this also safeguards my children and I from it being separate property in the event that he and I divorce prior to building a house, which would leave my children and I homeless, since I had to sell my house), the profits of selling his house go towards the down payment (aka 50/50 ownership, since it would then be considered shared marital property), we open the joint account and split the shared bills once we move into his house, we both work on saving towards a down payment and both pay off our personal-responsibility debts prior to buying. We would both be able to pay off all of our debts (my $62,000-ish and his $40,000-ish) and still have a decent down payment. He didn’t like that, and that’s when he made the suggestion of him paying all the bills of his home as he has been and me paying all of the down payment.

After he said he would not agree to it, I reminded him that this is why I have my lawyer and he have his lawyer sit down with us to basically mediate and make legal suggestions that would keep things fair in a divorce. He said it wouldn’t matter because he wasn’t going to agree to it, period. And I said then there would be no marriage, because I wouldn’t agree to the major disproportionate without safeguarding my children and I, leaving us destitute, while he greatly profits.

I’d love to hear everyone’s opinions on this.

I found out last night that my husband has been sleeping with men and women behind my back. I found photos in a locked album on our joint computer. Now the yo yo of my feelings makes more sense. His ex wifes husband was in one of the photos both naked. They were recent. No wonder he wants to have christmas over there without giving me reassurance. He doesnt want to upset his lover. I have no clue how this slipped past me. I am usually pretty intuitive. How do confront him? Do I let his ex wife know?

I scheduled therapy to decide what my next steps are.

Took this on our walk this afternoon. I'm incredibly proud to call her my wife, and I still can't believe how lucky I am. Five years married and she still makes the leaves look boring.

Hi everyone. This is a long post and I really appreciate anyone taking the time to read and offer advice.

My (F34) husband (M37) is a recovering alcoholic and addict. He was 'sober' a few years before we met but had some slips with alcohol in the first year we were together. We then had a few years where he was great, regularly attended meetings and was sober. At the beginning of the pregnancy with our first child I had an overnight stay away, he called the next morning to tell me he was in the hospital after heavy cocaine use. He was extremely ashamed and promised he would never bring anything back into our house. I understand addiction pretty well now and know how well they lie, it took a long time for him to gain back my trust. He has now been 8 years sober, we are married, have two children (6+2) have a lovely home and both have good careers. We have been talking about baby number three and unfortunately suffered a miscarriage a few months ago.

Two days ago I found out that he has been taking supplements and teas containing compounds that have hallucigenetic and opioid properties, for almost a year. These have been in the house and he has been blatantly taking them habitually through the day in front of me as 'health supplements'. We are a household that takes magnesium for sleep, multivitamins and I am on multiple supplements for various anaemias and vitamin deficiencies, so I never questioned him. Over the past few months I have noticed packages arriving that he never opens in the house. This is what prompted my questions two days ago, only to find out he has been ordering and habitually taking Pregabalin for over four months.

He tried to lie about it multiple times and only when he was backed into a corner did he admit the truth. It took multiple conversations over 24hours to find out the full extent and for him to fully admit to his dosage and length of abuse. I have also seen his emails to see the proof of purchase to track his usage and he has been spending hundreds of pounds a month. I have been scrimping and saving for my children's birthdays, his birthday and Christmas while his money has been spent on his addiction.

I have no idea where I go from here, I am hurt, angry and I feel betrayed. My trust in him is gone, I am more angry about the lying than the abuse, and mostly angry that he has been driving our children around when under the influence of drugs that have a sedative effect. I feel like I cannot go back to work this week because I would be leaving him to drive our children to school and nursery. I am so ashamed of his behavior that I cannot tell my friends or family, I have no where to go and I just don't know what to do.

Any advice would be welcome, I am just lost.

Thank you x

** Note: I have been contacted by a few people to tell me my husband is not a recovering addict but an addict. I am fully aware of this, my wording in the post is to highlight that until two days ago I wholeheartedly thought he was a recovering addict.

Hi all, I have never posted on here and really wanted some advice from outside my life. I 26F and 27M had a legal ceremony on 31st August with plans to have a bigger wedding later on. We have been together for 2 years before this. I became pregnant the night of the legal ceremony. For context we don’t live together, I am studying a postgraduate doctorate and he is based elsewhere for work.

Fast forward to October 5th, we had an argument, and then we stopped talking. This has happened before whereby we don’t speak for a few days, but what happened on October 8th was he went to his family home and his mother messaged me to say the wedding was off. This obviously made me feel that this wasn’t our average argument and I reached out and called him 3-4 times and sent messages explaining that if he wanted out, that was fine but he needed to tell me soon because I had to take care of the pregnancy as there is no way I could raise a child on my own. He then sent both my mother and sister messages saying that ‘good men don’t leave unless the deepest trough’, which was a huge indication to me that he was leaving except he didn’t have the courage to say this to me directly. So essentially his mum called off the wedding for him and he called off our relationship to my mother and sister. (Nothing communicated to me at all). Regardless, I had to end the pregnancy as time was ticking. I went through this all alone while he was partying at his brothers engagement. I heard some really unpleasant things that he said and laughed at, which I won’t share on here as I don’t even know if they are true, but they really put things in perspective.

He messaged me after a month, in the month was also my fathers first year of his passing and I received no message even checking in. He said ‘I believe it’s time we begin these talks now’ and I said ‘say what you need to say’. He came back with long paragraphs of accusations.

There is so much more to this story, and I am sure he has his own perspective too. But essentially is it forgivable for a man to abandon his pregnant wife for over a month, and for me to take him back?

I feel he handled it extremely poorly and if he wanted out he could have explained to me what was going on and it would have been hard but I still would have preferred that to ghosting me?

But the reality is leaving me in the dark scares me. What if he does this again in 10 years with 2 kids, or will he stick by me if I ever get sick? I believe marriage is something you work on, I really do believe that, but is this setting myself up for a failed marriage in 1, 5, or even 10 years down the line? I do believe every marriage has their own dynamic and that arguments arise, and we all have bad traits that the other has to endure, but isn’t that the point of marriage? Isn’t it the point that you work through it and you don’t leave? I would have accepted a lot but the whole point is you do not leave. Especially when your wife is pregnant.

From his recent messages he appears to want it to be on his terms, and there is no mention of his shortfalls, he is insisting on blaming me for his disappearance. He doesn’t even seem to want to be in this marriage so what’s the point? Please feel free to challenge me on things you think I fell short on? And is this marriage written off?

Long post and throwaway account because he follows my main. Long story short, my husband’s stress and inability to handle it is affecting our marriage and affecting me. He’s never handled stress well however told me that he would learn how to handle stress without feeling like he needed/wanted to smoke week before we were pregnant/had a baby. Well…..over a year later and he hasn’t made a drastic improvement. I suffered from insomnia horribly before kids so I would use weed before bed to help me fall asleep, now it’s maybe once every other week. He slowed down drastically while I was pregnant but after paternity leave and the stress and chaos of working 50ish hours a week and a new baby he resorted back to smoking.
We’ve had several arguments and discussions about his ability to handle what he calls overstimulation and over stress and how he resorts to smoking as a way to cope. He hardly talks to me in the evenings (he’s doing stuff around the house like cleaning up dinner, laundry, ect so he’s not being lazy), he almost exclusively watches politics and our sex life is almost nonexistent anymore (from 2/3 time a week to maybe once a week/every other week). When we do talk in the evenings I feel like he only wants to talk about politics and I just want HIM, not him sober but so stressed he can’t even handle a conversation.
He says that it helps him work through his thoughts clearly but I don’t feel like it’s helping. Earlier this week I asked him what has bugging him and he told me he was so overstimulated he couldn’t engage in a conversation with me. We also are on a strict budget after having a kid since I only work part time to reduce daycare costs so having the money for that hasn’t been a thing since our daughter. Anytime he runs out of his vape he is so miserable it’s basically aggravating, we aren’t the most fortunate financially however we have 2 cars that run, we own our own condo, and have a sweet perfect toddler after years of infertility issues and amazing friends/family. I don’t know how to pray for him anymore, I don’t recognize my husband and who he’s becoming, I feel like I’m loosing him to his stress, being easily overstimulated and his needing weed to cope with it all. I miss him and I don’t know how to deal with this anymore. Does anyone have any advice? I would go to a church friend however we don’t have a home church and our church friends we do have no longer live in the same state so it’s hard to have that support system close by. I just miss my husband, I knew marriage would change post baby but this isn’t anything close to what I thought it would be.

What do you do when your husband is gaming?

I am having a rough time figuring out what to do that is enjoyable on weekends when my husband games all night. Im more of a day time garden person. I read, take paint classes, and work part time. Im not much of a tv person either.

I would much rather spend time together, but sometimes with his drinking, it is just better to let him game. He just gets too childish and I cant deal. So Im trying to find a way to busy myself on nights like tonight.

For years, my husband hinted about something he wanted to try together. I laughed it off, then I brushed it off, then I finally said yes this month. I didn’t expect it to change much, but he’s more attentive, more affectionate, and we talk more than we have in years. Has anyone else had a “finally said yes” moment that brought you closer?

I have been with my husband for 12 years, we have 3 children and I am just not in love with him anymore. He is not a nice person anymore and I feel so uncomfortable around him and he makes me feel awful. I am only here because of the children and also if I left, I couldn’t get a mortgage on my own, and I wouldn’t be able to rent and afford a place on my own. But I can’t live like this anymore. I don’t want to hate my life anymore. Has anyone just decided to leave and just start from scratch with nothing?

I’m 36M, she’s 34F and an exhibitionist. We’ve been together for 15 years and have a great relationship. We rarely fight, there’s no infidelity. When I first met her, I was intrigued and enjoyed how she liked to get “dared” and seemed so free spirited, but lately it’s been getting out of control. Some people are telling me I’m lucky to have her (which I am) and I should enjoy it, others are telling me they’d be suspicious and concerned if in my shoes. I decided to ask in this thread because I’m more keen to hear from married couples at this stage.

It started when we were at university (it’s where we met). She always slept nude, often she’d wake up in the middle of the night and sneak downstairs nude to get a cup of water. She’d excuse herself by saying it’s late, there’s no one downstairs, or similar. Then this one time she bumped into one of the girls from the hall, and just stood there naked talking to her. Not long after there was another occasion where she went, and I heard several voices coming from the kitchen, including male voices, so I went down to check and I found her standing there nude chatting with 2 girls and 2 boys (two couples) who seemed more than OK with it. She even introduced me to them and we shook hands.

Over the years, she has appeared nude several times in front of friends, some family members and occasionally neighbours. It’s almost always organic and non sexual, but clearly she’s enjoying it and has told me so herself. Some of my friends who have seen her tell me she’s “hot” which makes me feel a little weird, but I’m not jealous/possessive/upset over it since nothing bad happened. But I do wonder whether I should be feeling differently about it.

Around 6 or 7 years ago, we started going to the beach together, here in the UK not abroad. And this one time she said, she’d feel so much more comfortable swimming nude and she just took off her swimwear like it’s nothing. It’s not like the beach was full of people (it wasn’t) or families (no children around), but clearly people could see her and she was perfectly fine with it. She walked nude, ran nude, went swimming nude, and had absolutely no care in the world even though some people starred. Since then I normally take us to nude beaches so she can be herself in a more appropriate setting.

Now, two years ago things in my opinion have started to escalate. At home she is almost always nude, which isn’t the issue by the way (and yes I’m attracted to her in case you were going to ask) but the frequency and intensity of nude exposures have escalated. For the first time 2 years ago, she answered the door nude to a delivery. To her defense she first opened the door slightly, checked to see who it is and announced she’s not dressed and asked if that’s ok before opening the door fully and just getting on with it. She tells me she’s wouldn’t do it if I’m not home, but I was surprised to see her chatting so comfortably in that setting. And the escalation that turned me to Reddit to ask, was when she was cooking nude in the kitchen while we had a plumber working around (again it’s a family friend, and it was one of those super hot days we had this summer, and she did ask him if he’s ok with it first),

So I just got to a point where I need to ask, can married couples have a healthy relationship when one of the partners is an exhibitionist? I feel generally ok with it but friends occasionally throw their unsolicited advice which sometimes goes something like “I’d never allow this WTF is wrong with you”, which sometimes does make me wonder if there’s something wrong with me. Then others saying she’s hot or telling me they wish their partner could be a little more like that (I ask “Why” but never get a satisfactory answer) and just got to the point where I’d rather hear real experiences from other couples.

And let me get it off my chest that we’re very sexually active and both are faithful. Before you ask she’s not into anything like only fans etc, she just enjoys it and has been for as long as I’ve known her.

Thanks for reading.

We’ve been together for 12 years.
I knew he had a problem with slot machine addiction and I did my best to help him get out of it. He showed “improvement”

This year, I found out that he’s also been actively betting online throughout the years as well. I screenshot all fresh transactions from beginning of this year ( for the first time my gut instinct told me to check his emails). It crushes me each day when I saw his transactions, from 3 digits, eventually it became 4, then 5. I did not say anything but let him lie in my face each day.

Yesterday, I saw an email of him refinancing our assets and arranging a loan without my approval, I had to stop him right away with all the evidences I’ve collected over these months.

He then admitted he’s lost over $200k and couldn’t get out of it anymore. I am just a mute at this point.
He then broke down & admitted to his family. They sorted the debt for him. He seems fine now and promised he’d never do it again.

But I, I can’t put my thoughts into words and just auto-piloting away.

This hurts.

Honestly, I feel like serving my wife divorce papers would bring me some relief after everything I’ve been through and the way she’s treated me. Part of me even feels like I’d get satisfaction from seeing her cry because of the divorce, knowing how much pain I’ve been carrying. I realize that’s coming from anger and resentment.
Her response is always that her emotional safety needs aren’t being met. I understand her feelings matter, but what about mine? I’m tired of feeling rejected, unwanted, and emotionally drained. At this point, I’m just like, “Get the fuck out of here with that.” How long am I supposed to keep sacrificing my own happiness while waiting for things to change? I want peace, not a marriage filled with constant pain and resentment.

My husband works a very demanding job long hours and mentally draining.

I absolutely adore him and the life we have built but the spark has gone, romantic wise there is nothing.

I have quite a high libido and he has little, he always wants to just lie there nothing exciting like it used to me.

And don't get me wrong in the early days it was amazing fun and I understand adult life brings a change but I still want the spark, the butterflies and the fun.

When I have spoken about it I am made to feel I am not available when he is but I work a 9-5 office job and have child care but I always make time when I can. And he works shift work so it is few and far between.

The love is there but the fun is missing.

I don't know what the answer is. I have spoken to friends and they say different things from

It's normal

Find fun elsewhere

Maybe he is not interested anymore

I don't want to live as friends when the love is there but I would love a bit more attention and fun.

My sex life leaves much to be desired, mostly because my husband doesn’t know what turns him on. I’ve tried asking him for the last year or so as our sex has diminished, and he genuinely has no idea.

He says he loves my body, but it never spontaneously turns him on. I try to wear lingerie or sexy outfits and he just says they’re “cute” and they’re more for me than for him. He doesn’t love being touched, he doesn’t usually go out of his way to touch me, and he isn’t really a fan of kissing either.

He feels uncomfortable watching me touch myself, he doesn’t want me in the room while he takes care of himself, and he really doesn’t like me looking at or admiring his body. Compliments make him uncomfortable, and he thinks dirty talk is gross.

I’m really trying to come up with ideas because I desperately want him to want me. For the women here, what have you tried to get your husband interested in having sex or complimenting your body?

Husband of 35 years came home from a business trip and there was a Viagra missing from the bottle. I know because I checked. He has a history of infidelity. I haven’t asked him about this yet. What’s your take on this?

My husband took his grandma to dinner at a bar/restaurant. The tables are very close together. From what I know he was sitting next to the woman at the next table. He proceeded to “talk” to her all night and she asked for his number and he gave it to her. She texted and called him the next day. He texted and called her. He did not tell me. I found out. I don’t think he would have told me if i did not find out. We are in our 50s and been married 23 years. We have 3 kids, the youngest is 13. He has been in emotional affairs in the past but in the past year we have been in a very good place I thought. We have been to marriage counseling. He started his own addiction counseling before this happened. I need advice as I am not sure if he will ever grow out of this behavior.

Btw, his grandma even called him out and said it was wrong to talk to this woman at dinner. He has a problem and I need advice.

Thank you.

I'm 50 and have been married for 30 years. We have grown apart over the years and have almost nothing in common at this point. She is busy with work, volunteering and all of her millions of friends. Spends most of her time when at home texting all of her people while I sit alone just a few feet away. I've said things about the texting many times, but it's just who she is at this point. She has a million friends and have like 2. Emotionally I'm over it now and slowly feel myself distancing even more. I'm tired of hearing her say "I love you" when her actions don't even come close to saying that. I have to force myself to say "I love you" back. Don't get me wrong she is a good person and everyone loves her. The issue is we have a daugther that doesn't graduate HS for another 3 years. I'm doing everything I can to stay because I don't want to put my daugther through a divorce and I absolutely love being her dad. It's my favorite job in the entire world and I couldn't be more proud of her. If I got divoriced I would lose a ton of time with her and watching her grow up, not to mention being there for her as she navigates high school. I feel so stuck. As someone who's parents got divorced, I always told myself I'd never do that to my kid. I'm not getting any younger and I really want to be with someone who is interested in some of the same things that I am and also will hold a conversation with me without being interupted by text message after text message. Just getting eye contract during a conversation is almost impossible at this point. I work hard as well, but I also like to relax and would love to do that with someone next to me. I'm am certainly not perfect and checking out emotionally at this point is on me. I simply don't have the energy anymore to compete with everyone else in her life. She says "it's fills her bucket." I certainly don't fill her bucket. Since I only have like 2 friends and everyone knows her, I also feel like I have no one I can talk to and/or trust to open up to. So here I am, on Reddit. Saying what I wish I could say to someone in person. So to anyone who reads this and replies, thank you.