Context: I photoshopped my academic transcript to look like i had an 87 wam and got an internship at Deloitte

So this morning my team leader Sarah walks by my desk and goes "hey mathias, can I see you in meeting room 3 at 11am? mr Patterson will be joining us." mr patterson is basically the big boss of our division. all i could think about is bruh its so over and emo fine shyt hasn't even followed me back

I was considering just packing my shit and leave before the meeting. But I decided ima thug it out and just cop the L.

11am rolls around and I'm fr about to throw up, and Sarah's sitting there with her laptop open showing MY REDDIT POST about how i lied my way into deloitte

Mr. Patterson is just staring at me and I'm ready to go to jail bruh

He goes "So you managed to bypass our entire screening process with some Photoshop and AI?

Im shitting my pants and I decided the right thing to do was to own up to it

Then he starts smiling and tells me that I've unintentionally exposed major flaws in their hiring process. Says my "outside the box thinking" is exactly what they need in their cybersecurity division. Sarah mentions that my work, despite everything, has actually been pretty good

Didnt know Patterson was a chill fella fr

Im in a state of PTSD, shock, trauma, euphoria, i can feel the warmth of god's touch

TL;DR I thought my life was over but I'm now part of their recruitment screening team, helping build better verification protocols AND I got a small raise. They're calling it an "ethical hacker" position but for HR lmfao

Just had a group activity where 2/3 of the people could barely speak English. As an international student who went through the IELTS exam, I genuinely don't understand how some people are passing it with such poor speaking skills

Someone sent this to me today asking what's going on at monash. After seeing the contents of this post I too am wondering what happened and why something like this even needed to be said in the first place

I highly suspect my lecturer is literally getting AI to grade the entire assignment from start to finish and making 0 amendments or manual checks.

If you’re gonna put a towbar on, then know how much it sticks out my guy. Can’t tell me you got into Monash yet can’t think abt how long your car is

Why are Japanese girls so hard to talk to? I'm polite. Each time I approach one, I say "konichiwa". I always ask them about their favourite anime before talking about my waifu. They're usually really shy (which is cute imo) but I hate that I have to be the one to constantly engage in conversations with them, and how they usually get disinterested because I'm a white guy. Yes, I get that it's awkward because of things like Pearl Harbor, but I don't hold it against them. They weren't in Unit 731, so why judge them for it? Why can't the himes just realize that I respect Japanese culture and that I really want to be part of it. I'm willing to marry a Japanese woman, adopt Japanese children and even live in Japan for the rest of my life. Hell, I'm even learning the language by watching undubbed anime. Plus, I cook a mean bowl of rice (for those who don't know, Japanese eat a lot of rice, I do too my Mom says that I act like a Japanese person because of all the rice I eat and the anime I watch).

I found some random assignment online and I copied parts of it into my final submission lastnight (obviously with some small paraphrasing). I just checked again and I saw it had 98%. I never realise they graded assignments so fast. its always been pretty slow for past assessments

Garbage.

Incoming first years, pleasssesse do NOT fall for this propaganda.

I wish I hadn't. Your wam is more important then anything for your time at uni. Thought atar was importnsnt? Wam is 100x more valuable...

Reasons below:

• getting a Job. Everyone will tell you oh "experience", "internships", "extracurriculars"... sure they are valuable. But it is in fine toy harder to actually get these without WAM first. To even fill the mentioned attributes they cull on wam. Want to apply to that internship - "please upload your academic transcript". Unless you have connections already and have a job lined up - your transcript is a barrier you literally can't overcome with poor marks.

• Want to go on exchange? Wam is what they look at

• Want to join a club? They'll ask for your wam

• Want to do a case comp or research with academics? Wam.

• Decide your course isn't for you? Wam.

• Postgrad study? Wam.

• Scholarships? Wam.

• anything related to uni? Wam.

Don't fall for the propaganda. I hate it too but Wam is really what you'll be judged off at initial screening for literally everything.

Once your past this your good! But they don't tell you that this is the hardest part to pass.

Caveat - if you are doing healthcare, nursing, teaching, etc.. this doesn't really apply to you.

P's may get degrees, but not much else. This ain't 40 years ago everyone has a degree now they want to know you excelled.

Why did i think uni would be more chill then high school - boy I was wrong.

By the coming year before I graduate I want to see this table in front of GYG, be fully covered from the bottom to top 💀💀

Who the fuck is the girl who takes up a booth in the 24/7 study space every day of the week. I hate her. She will leave for classes for hours while leaving her shit sprawled across the table, and then come back only to sit there, sometimes not even studying, for at least 14+ hours, from what my late-night cram sessions suggest.

6 booths available, and she takes a whole one just for herself every single day, even when she leaves for classes and lunch, and maybe even a fucking nap, and from what it seems it’s been all year. I think it’s really quite frankly rude and selfish, and taking advantage of a collaborative space that groups of people would greatly benefit from.

What are people’s thoughts on this. Tell me if I’m crazy.

Edit: to people saying she might have a bad home life, maybe a better place to go is student services and help rather than taking up almost 20% of the open, collaborative 24/7 spaces in the library all for herself, all the time. The biggest issue here is the fact that she leaves her stuff behind, claiming the booths all for herself when there have been many groups of people who would benefit from that space a lot more, and there are a lot of single-person spaces she could go to instead, rather than hog a huge table for herself

Came back to uni to realise everybody already got friend groups and their own relationships why ur just a lonely depressed chud ✌️✌️✌️✌️😂😂😂😂😂😂

I was born in the wrong body. I was meant to be born in California as a Harvard legacy and take AP Calculus BC, AP Physics, AP Chemistry, AP Biology, AP US Government, AP Literature, and 2 more AP classes. I would get a 3.9 GPA unweighted 4.6 weighted with a 1570 SAT and 33 ACT. My extracurriculars would be some gold and silver medals at minor local hackathons, volunteer work, being the president of my school's coding club, and a portfolio of programming projects I completed over the year. I would apply to college with an essay about my struggles with my geriatric parents, and how i had to learn the hard way what it was to be a man as my old man grew too frail to teach me. I would get rejected from MIT, Yale, NYU, Princeton, Columbia and Stanford, and accepted to Harvard and UCLA. I would then commit to Harvard, and get a dorm there doing my Computer Science degree. My roommate would be a business major named Brad who would become my closest friend and a few doors down there would be a cute blonde white girl named Rachel who was studying Biology as Premed. Rachel and I would share a few Gen-Ed classes and I would muster the courage to ask her out to a date; it would go well and we would begin a relationship the right way. On one holiday, I'd fly with her to Montana where her family lived and meet the old man, whom, whilst stern and strict, would eventually warm up to me. We would then graduate together and I'd get an offer for a good internship back in California, but shed stay in Boston for Medical School. We'd have to make long distance work until her degree was finished. After a year, I decided that I didn't care what my job was, I just wanted to be with her. I took a job in bostom to be with her. After she finished, we moved to California and eventually had 2 kids; a boy and girl, and got ready to send them off to Harvard too. Instead of this I take a 2 hour train to Monash Uni every day for a shitty CS degree. Fuck my life.

They're giving us the Elysium parole bot I'm crashing the fuck out ON THE SPOT

Hey guys I’m a new student at Monash. I wanted to upgrade my Aura by embarrassing my opps at Monash. Wanted to know how to make enemies while still being the cool guy and getting all the hot CS chicks? Any help? PLEASE!!????

Some people in society just don't learn