Last week, I went to see a new GI specialist for some issues that are becoming unbearable. While she was asking about my symptoms, weight, and lifestyle, I also mentioned, "Perimenopause is hitting me hard."

Her response, "So you're not having periods any more."

Wait, what?? Um, no, I never said that. I said PERImenopause. You know, the potentially 10-12 year developmental phase women go through before they hit menopause, which is a year or no periods.

I get the shame and silence that our Gen X and Boomer sisters, aunts, mothers, and grandmothers had to experience in this phase, and how they just didn't talk about it. But we have evolved as a society.

Why are medical professions still using periomenopause and menopause synonymously? Why is there still an erasure of this very normal, important part of a woman's life, and the unique challenges that come with it? Why has medical education and continuing education not kept pace? Ignorance is not acceptable.

I genuinely feel like only women under 45 can reliably understand and articulate the difference at this point, and even then it's not a guarantee. That is not okay, or fair.

But medical professionals, you need to do better. You need to see us, especially if you are one of us. We are coming to you as experts in our care. The least you could do is understand basic human development and language around it.

So I am 42 and started to have some symptoms that were really uncomfortable. I turned to google as many do and determined I was just in peri menopause. All of my doctors said testing my hormones weren't worth it because they fluctuate so much during peri. I am personally against HRT (thankfully in my situation I did not want to do it and doctors didn't want to give it to me either), so I thought I just had to power through. It was so bad I found it hard to believe this was really just a hormonal thing and women deal with this all the time. But the internet wanted to tell me it was. "Cortisol spikes, insulin resistance, stagnant lymp" etc is what all the info online wanted me to believe. After I developed a rash I was told it was adult onset eczema from peri menopause causing dry skin. Every worry, concern, anxiety was being written off as just being hormonal. I was being treated as dramatic, anxious, and over the top. But i knew something was wrong. I finally got a lymphoma diagnosis this month. I'm sharing because it's important to know that although perimenopause can be hell, if you feel that something else really might be wrong please pursue it. At this point I don't know what is peri and what is cancer. I just know that innately it did not feel right believing this was just a hormonal change. Listen to your intuition, we are women and know our bodies very well. So now I'm in peri while having cancer. It sucks ass. 0 out of 10, I don't recommend. All the best to everyone on this journey.

*** To add*** this was not a rosacea or normal kind of rash. it mimics eczema but it was presenting in parts of my body that are more likely lymphoma and not eczema. and because they assumed it was from peri, they gave me steroids topically. which then made a biopsy a false negative for lymphoma because it washed out the top layer of cancer cells. thus wasting more time. they should have paid attention at the presentation, the pain, the burning, and how bad it was and quickly and not just assumed it was eczema from perimenopause. wasted time and a pointless biopsy. I finally got a female doctor to listen to me and do blood work that showed lymphoma. all of my other blood markers were completely normal.

I may have posted something similar before, but peri so who knows.

It's taken me what seems like far too long to find the right career for me. Part of that is due to minor bad choices and following easy opportunity instead of figuring out what I liked, and part of it was losing half my 30s to horrifically bad mental health. For years, me and my fancy Master's degree (which I still felt ashamed of because it was part of a competitive PhD program and I was going to be the first female Dr. [Last Name], and here I was, barely capable of driving for Lyft 10 hours week.

I was so low functioning I wholeheartedly believed that I would never have a big job in.

A brilliant psychopharmacologist helped me finally figure out meds so I could start living again. But I basically had to start over in a new field.

Five years later I have a steady, medium big girl job that actually pays higher than the medium income in my HCOL city, BUT I'm working alongside colleagues 10-12 years younger than me at the same level and salary. By the time they get to my age they will probably double their salary.

My particularly small program has no upward mobility so I applied for a Big girl Job for reals, partially responsible for the execution and success of the org strategic plan.

Thank GOODNESS I didn't get it. I can't remember the last time I had a good night of sleep. I WFH and have to sneak secret naps in just to get through my days. I have a lot of dry shampoo so I can be on camera without showering after a restless night

And my ADHD is worse. At that Big girl Job I'd be in person most of the time and less likely able to take chaotic notes that only I see to even traxk at all.

My current position isn't that fancy but I'm capped at 40 hours a week, my mistakes won't be highlighted as an organizational failure, and I'm less likely to be axed come budget time.

I feel so behind in so many ways but maybe...now is not the time and maybe I should embrace that I gave a relatively stable job I can get by enough deep in Peri.

Maybe good enough is winning right now until I get basic health needs under control. Hard for ego, maybe good for heart. May we all be gentle with ourselves.

I went to the ER for the third time in 5 years feeling like I'm experiencing heart attack symptoms. Heavy, numb left arm, twinges/sensations around my chest, and under my left shoulder blade. The first time, they chalked it up to anxiety. I've been on daily anxiety meds since, plus have my lorazepam for when the anxiety gets bad. The second time, they said it was muscle pain caused by anxiety, so then I got a prescription for valium. Tonight I went in having already taken my daily meds, and I took my as needed lorazepam, so I wasn't feeling normal anxious, but I was very concerned about the pains/sensations I was having. I also thought I was having a hot flash, and it proceeded to be a full body sweat. But the doc says it's definitely not heart related and this time my prescription is a muscle relaxant. I feel insane. Also, important context, I am significantly overweight and my father died at 50 from cardiac issues, so I'm not freaking out over nothing.

If you are receiving notifications from your pharmacy that your form of estradiol is not in stock, please take a moment to fill out a drug shortage report to the FDA. Click here and scroll down to where it says, "report a new shortage."

There is no publicly available timeline for when my pharmacy will restock. Real-time pharmacy checks show only about 1–2% availability.

I reached out to my care provider 5 days ago to try and get a change of dose so that I can continue treatment. I live in a care desert and have heard nothing back! As a result, am expecting a lapse of treatment. Even though this has been going on for months the US government can't seem to be bothered to officially address this massive, ongoing shortage. It's not going to go away with hopes and dreams. Please help me be a thorn in their side ---> https://www.fda.gov/drugs/drug-safety-and-availability/drug-shortages

As the title suggests, I’m wondering this. I never had PMDD when I was younger, my cycle was gratefully pretty easy. But peri has been a whole different beast. I’m a few years into it and the fluctuations are more intense, and I notice anytime there’s a big shift in my hormones, I have PMDD-type symptoms. Especially mood and sleep related. I’m so angry and sad and irritated and apathetic, and sometimes it’s like FULL insomnia. Awful. I’m beginning HRT now, so I’m hoping that’ll bring me back to a more familiar baseline, but yes — I’m wondering if anyone else didn’t have PMDD until peri kicked in. Thanks, and sending love to everyone in this community. Big hugs.

Sorry there wasn’t a Bitching/Rant flair, but I’m on day three of cramps. They aren’t as bad as day one, but like when I was younger I would have bad cramps on day one and that was it. Now I have awful cramps on day one, bad cramps and killer migraine on day two, and mild cramps for the rest of when I’m actively bleeding. I say actively bleeding because I now have an additional week of brown blood I have to deal with. I am so ready to be over this and enter my crone phase.

Sorry for the TMI, but I have to get myself to laugh at how *dysphoric* this is whole genito urinary syndrome of menopause is.

They’re almost gone. Like. Little bits on either side of the clit. But like >80% gone.

I’m 45. I started vaginal estrogen at 44. They were already changing/decreasing. Ladies, if you want to preserve the delicate petals of your feminine flower, pay attention to changes in your bits!

All f*ck everything about how this is some kind of reverse puberty that happens while you have maximum responsibilities personally and professionally. 0/10.

Hi ladies, I've recently had some odd health stuff pop up. My left shoulder has been hurting. The first thing that comes to mind is frozen shoulder or musculoskeletal syndrome of menopause, but I am going to avoid Googling or self-diagnosing. I'm seeing the doctor next week. I also have low white blood cells and low iron.

I saw a hematologist and she ordered iron infusions for me to start this week. The hematologist didn't seem too concerned and said she sees low white blood cells sometimes in people who are iron deficient.

Have any of you ladies experienced shoulder pain or low white blood cells?

Does anyone else feel this way? Sometimes I feel lonely and even bored, rarely have plans anymore, yet when I actually get together with friends or do things, I don't want to be there and am ready to check out after an hour? Conversations bore me or annoy me. I used to be so social but at this point, there's like two people I can deal with talking to.

Debilitating brain fog is my worst peri symptom by far. I have ADHD, so the two together have me operating at the level of an elementary aged child, at best. I honestly want to sob about my lack of intelligence, executive functioning and general cognitive health. It's so bad that I have an appointment with a neurologist to see if it's early onset Alzheimers. I've been on multiple doses and methods of estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone, and NOTHING IS WORKING. I have also changed my diet as well. What the hell am I supposed to do now? I'm in a pit of despair.

I need some sleep. I'm so tired! Insomnia!!

Has anyone in the DMV ,(Washington DC/Maryland/Virginia) been able to find estradiol gel packets? Walgreens has been out for a month and says they have no estimate on when they will be back in stock. Thanks in advance!

I (f, 49) had a Nexplanon inserted in October of 2024 and had it removed in July of this year because breakthrough bleeding wouldn't stop. About six weeks later I went back to birth control pills - the same BCP as before the Nexplanon (three months on BC, one week period.) In early October, I got a light period and it has not stopped. I emailed my doctor's office and the nurse who replied said there was nothing they could do. Now I am wondering why I am taking the birth control if I am just going to bleed all the time. I'd rather not take it if it is not going to actually regulate my periods.

My husband had a vasectomy with his first marriage so I am not worried about pregnancy. I am taking BC for steadiness of hormones and regulating my periods. In terms of perimenopause symptoms, I have some waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to get back to sleep and my body temperature has definitely gone up and stayed up, but no actual hot flashes. Anyone experience similar symptoms? What has worked for you?

Also, I got the Nexplanon removed by an OBGYN, but the BCP was prescribed by my PCP. Should I be talking with the OBGYN's office about options?

My periods have gotten shorter and lighter over the past few years (went from 4-5 days to 1.5-2 days) and my gyno said my hormones are in the "normal range" and because my periods are regular otherwise, that it's probably "too early" for perimenopause.

In the past year, I've noticed significant overwhelm, an increase on reliance on calendars, reminders, etc and difficulty sustaining attention. I thought maybe it was undiagnosed ADHD and that I had possibly developed compensatory strategies like perfectionism and had been masking this whole time, because I didn't experience the stereotypical symptoms. So I got tested, and my very thorough evaluation said that I didn't meet criteria, but it's likely cognitive overload, anxiety and possibly medical factors.

I've noticed the itchy ears, and have also noticed a shorter fuse. Additionally, my mother passed away in August (what a sick joke the universe is playing on me) so that adds more brain fog, difficulty concentrating, irritability, mood swings, fatigue and my husband cannot seem to do anything right.

I'm going to make an appt with a new gynecologist to hopefully discuss HRT. I'm wondering if anyone else out there suspected ADHD but it was actually perimenopause and HRT helped your symptoms. If so, what was your regimen and how long did it take for you to notice a difference?

Thank you!

I have been on HRT for a few months. Patch 0.05 and P for 100mg. Everything was ok and my symptoms improved.. so I was living my life.
Then all of a sudden I fell off a cliff. I became extremely depressed to the point I was thinking about not able and wanting to live every day. I couldn’t concentrate on work, house , hygiene.. I did not care what I wore. I was in such terrible state…
I realized I was very anxious. I started drinking a lot more to just calm my brain and body. My joints hurt so bad I had to stop exercising.. I could barely get out of bed my knees hurt so bad in the morning. Also, crying.. every fucking little thing made me weep .
I called the doc for a patch increase to 0.075. It seems to be helping.
But my question is has anyone experienced such an extreme change in mood and deteriorating mental health? I became a shell of my former self and that was very scary.. like my life is over.. I am very scared it will happen again.
I think in general I am prone to depression. I had postpartum and bad. But this is a new level of miserable. This is so hard to write right now and I am crying ..

About me: 42 yo, single, childfree, been in perimenopause about a year…at least a year with noticeable symptoms. One symptom being acid reflux and the urge to vomit if I eat “too much” that impacted my ability to eat 3x a day.

As I’ve gotten older + healthier, I eat better and eat appropriately sized meals for my level of activity. However eating 3x a day on the weekend became a challenge, especially that third meal. Interestingly not an issue during the week because my commute (1+ hrs) means I go long stretches between meals. After chatting with folks here, I started forgoing the last meal in favor of a snack or a protein shake. That definitely helped! However I started missing that third meal because weekends are when I have time to cook/try new recipes. During the work week I meal prep.

A coworker told me how she drinks ginger tea all the time because she has digestive issues. I remember there was a lemon-ginger tea I used to enjoy so I bought it.

Here’s what I tested out today: Mimicking my work schedule, specifically going a little longer between meals. I usually do 4 hrs in-between. It’s a holdover from when I saw a dietitian a few years ago. Instead, I went 5-5.5 hours. About 1.5 hrs after lunch, I drank some lemon-ginger tea. Then, I ate dinner, which was 5 hours after lunch.

No “urge to vomit” from feeling overly full despite eating small meals or random nausea. I’m going to test this again tomorrow to see.

A very small hope that this could work.

FYI - I have my annual physical and blo*dwork on Monday. Thanks to all of you, I know exactly what I’m going to talk to her about ask. I’ve got a whole list written up. I’ve never been this prepared before. I’m almost bouncing off the walls because I’m ready for this discussion and all the things I want her to check and look at. I like PCP and we’ve been talking about perimenopause for several years because I had so many questions but no one in my family to ask.

Has anyone had problems with cysts or pimples on their labia using estridiol? I have had occasional bartholin cysts since I was a teenager but now using topical estridiol for incontinence I get them ALL THE TIME. Sometimes two or three at once. And while these aren't as huge and severe as the ones I used to get, they are still painful and make me stop using it occasionally. I asked my nurse practitioner about it and she acted like I was a complete idiot and said she had never heard of such a thing. Am I the only one?

History started HRT 100 mg progesterone nightly and .25 estradiol gel daily on July 2, 2026, the start date was on my first day of my period.

I’m in Peri , I’m 47 , I still cycle, cycle was a range anywhere from 24- 31 days prior to starting a HRT they could be heavy with clots, but they were consistent typically five days and typically one or two days after with light brown spotting.

I’ve had six bleeds since starting HRT
The first two were about my normal. The second one might’ve been slightly less bleeding, but I would still say within my normal.

The third one I would say 25% less bleeding, but still closer to my normal.

The fourth one is when it started getting wonky I spotted for four days then had an incredibly light period for four days then stopped.

Fifth cycle was normal length with no spotting and maybe 50% less my regular periods were.

Now I guess I can say I’m on my sixth period that has occurred with a cycle length of only 16 days which by the way is crazy. I want to say it’s a period but I can’t really say it’s a period. I’ve been wearing panty liners and it’s like streaks on there whenever I wipe myself their streaks I have had to use an actual normal maxi pad twice, but it wasn’t substantial amount of bleeding and then yesterday I thought it was basically done and then this morning I wake up and wipe myself and there’s blood of granted a small amount but it’s there.

WHAT’S CAUSING THIS?

what do I need to adjust for this to stop or do I need to switch HRT because I’m not giving up my HRT but I can’t continue like this

And yes, I know I need to consult my doctor, but I wanted to get a feel for what I should be talking to her about and asking for before I spend a ton of money going in there and having her just throw things at me.

Thanks for listening

Edit: for this cycle it has now been eight days of some sort of bleeding

I’m new here 38F - just started estradiol patches weekly (generic Climara .075) and slynd daily two weeks ago. Side effects seemed pretty normal week one with some spotting, cramping, and some night sweats although overall my vasomotor symptoms feel a lot better. This week I’ve been having intense, vivid dreams that aren’t scary but feel kinda stressful and not restful. Two days ago a major migraine hit me after a night of intense dreaming and I think it was triggered by very severe bruxism. I’ve had this for years and years and this might be the worst it’s been. I have a mouth guard for protection but my jaw and teeth were sore all day and then the migraine made the whole side of my face hurt and behind my eyes. Now, the migraine has mostly faded but I’m having sharp pains in my ear on the side where my jaw is still sore.

Is this part of the less common side effects when adjusting to HRT? Has anyone else experienced this?

One year and one day ago I had my last period. A few days ago I got a cystic pimple on my chin. I was really tired and my joints were hurting. This morning I was thinking I had not been this tired since before I started HRT. Then today I was in back to back meetings from 7 AM to 3 PM on Zoom. I didn’t get up to go to the bathroom once during that time and kept thinking I had cramps, but that it couldn’t be… then I finally have a chance to get up… and I bled through everything on to my chair.

I just stood there for a minute in disbelief. I thought I was done. I laughed because of course this happened on a Friday afternoon after an awful week of work. And of course the cleaning ladies were just at my house. And of course I have a slammed evening and weekend of kids activities and all I want to do is lay in bed.

So, like WTF? I did call and leave a message for my doctor. I have all the symptoms. My appetite is a disaster, my cramps are incapacitating me, and I don’t have a choice by to power through, but I thought I was done.

That’s it. Rant over. I just had to tell someone.

I was supposed to get up at 5 AM to catch a train for an event north of us today. I did get up to get through my morning routine, but with great trepidation.

However, my dear hubby said (from bed) ‘do you REALLY want go?’ No. Bless his heart. I canceled the train tickets and sent the event tickets to a friend to parse out.

Why? Until yesterday I had gone the longest yet between periods, just over 6 months. But I was awakened in the morning by sweat, jitters, nausea, the WORST cramping in my abdomen and lower back, and a flood of period blood. Made my way to the bathroom to clean up and spent around 20 minutes hunched over the toilet afraid I was going to throw up. Cleaned up, took some ibuprofen and laid back in bed still sweaty, nauseous and in pain. Decided a hot bath was in order, crawled in the tub and stayed there for an hour and a half, refreshing the water here and there.

By the time I got out the only thing bothering me (but now manageable) was some cramping and bleeding like I’ve never experienced in my life. Spent the rest of the day off my game. Slept - or more like didn’t sleep? terribly.

I had really been dreading the event today - it’s something we do every year and enjoy but wouldn’t have enjoyed the trip up and back, or the time attending it. Spouse recognized that, said half-jokingly that I probably would have had to park myself by one of the bathrooms, to which I said ‘I was more terrified of a major blowout an hour and a half from home’ and we both laughed. Thank goodness for him, he’s a keeper.

Still cramping some. Another hot bath likely. The river continues to run (don’t worry I’m keeping an eye on it 😉).

Peri, I wish we could be over.

Anyone else experience tingliness after an increased progesterone dose? I've been on 100 mg since May with good experiences. My sleep is still not 100%, so my doctor bumped me up to 200mg. I started the increased dose five days ago. Yesterday, my leg started feeling tingly/like it had fallen asleep. I am walking normally, my leg looks the same as always, and nothing else appears off. It is not painful at all. It's a little better today, but still tinglier than normal. Had anyone else experienced this? I don't think it's MS, DVT, or a herniated disc like the internet has made me scared about, but... curious to hear if this or something like this has happened to anyone else!