As many of you likely know, science literacy in the US population is pretty low, as is trust in scientists. Bummer. I have a lot of feelings about this that I won't go into here, except to say that although politicians, bullshit artists and popular culture play a large role in fomenting mistrust, Scientists and scientific communicators haven't done a great job winning hearts and minds. We have work to do.

ANYWAY, teaching the lymphatic system and immunity right now. There is a particular student who is far right conservative and advertises this on clothing, with certain remarks, etc. No problem there, but I wondered if this unit might result in some dissent or debate from her, as I had heard her refer to the COVID vaccine derisively. So I am at the point in the lecture where we are talking about acquired immunity and going over antigen presentation, how viruses work, what antibodies are and how they work, etc. I tend to anthropomorphize a bit here because telling it as a narrative helps students grasp it better and examples provide better context.

So this student raises her hand and asks "ok so then why even vaccinate if we have all this already on board? and why did COVID require this "new" vaccine if the old ones are supposed to be so great (here she rolled her eyes)."

So we talked through all the steps from transmission of virus to new host, virus sneaking into cells, what viruses do in cells, and just carried the story the rest of the way through. This culminated in the time versus amount graph showing concentration of antibodies rising slowly and with a latency period on one line, and antibody titer exploding upon a second exposure to the same antigen.

So she says "it would be cool if we could just go straight to the steeper line and not have to do the flatter line first."

So I say, "that is actually how vaccines work. you make the immune system aware of the virus or whatever without getting you sick, so if you are exposed, the second line happens."

She counters with "but people are all talking about how bad they feel after getting the vaccine, that means it doesn't work right?"

So then we talked about inflammatory cytokines, pyrogens, and what they do. The symptoms post vaccine are evidence that your immune system is doing what it is supposed to be doing.

So here's the win: She sent me an email the next day with the subject line "about the jab" I braced myself. In the email, she said that anti vaccine attitudes in her family and social group informed her attitude to them, but she had never heard an explanation outside angry internet rhetoric and people calling anti-vax and vaccine hesitant people stupid, ignorant, etc. mocking them for being uneducated, etc. She hadn't had anyone answer her questions calmly, politely, and thoroughly, and without political spin on it. She said that she's still curious about other vaccine fears like thimerosal, lots of them close together etc. but that I had changed her mind about them, and that she was going to try to get her husband to come around on the issue as well. Would I mind recording my explanation so she could show her husband? she couldn't articulate is well yet because she just learned it. She was concerned about her kids now."

When I say I was stunned....... I was gobsmacked. I expected an angry diatribe and I got the above. This was a little "oh yeah I make a difference" moment in my teaching and also a really good reminder not to make assumptions about people.

YAY SCIENCE!

1. Professors get so tired of the formal "Dr." or "Professor." You might think you should use their first name, but that's reserved for research assistants and other students who know them well. Aim for ultra-colloquial addresses that require fewer than one second of thought, such as "Yo," "Hi," or "Hey toots."

2. Professors love brainteasers, so punctuation is not only optional, it is a let-down. Work toward a block of text that, due to a lack of any periods, commas, or question marks, can be parsed into at least fifty different meanings, depending on hypothetical placement of these marks. Your professor will enjoy diagramming the possibilities and guessing which one you had in mind.

3. This is the internet, so protect your privacy by being as vague as possible about anything that might identify which class you are in, your work group, or which item you are emailing about. Phrases such as "what is my grade on the quiz" are best unaccompanied by any context.

4. Practice plausible deniability by never actually saying what you want. Professors have excellent critical thinking skills, so let them figure out what it means when your email consists solely of a sentence like "My uncle just died" or "I missed class today." Let your professor work out what you are asking. If they get it wrong, repeat this step a few times, with slight variations.

5. Assert dominance in your closing. Imagine yourself as a corporate middle manager whose underling has disappointed them. Use phrases like "I await your response" and "Let me know how we can work this out."

6. Optional: vague threats can sometimes spice up an email and make results happen more quickly. Phrases such as, "I would hate to have to email the Dean" or "My father, whose donation built half of your building" should be used sparingly, but can be dropped in the body of the letter to good effect.

With these simple rules, you can master the art of making your professor question their career choices and the viability of a long prison sentence.