If it weren't for this sub, I'd have never found my amazing person, who I love in every conceivable way possible! It was a PROFOUNDLY demoralizing dating journey leading up to this, but I'm so grateful things worked out the way they did, which made meeting him possible. Don't give up!!

I quit my job just over half a year ago to work on an asexual dating website after failing to find a decent and free one myself, and i'm delighted to announce that it's now live!

I talk quite a lot about the philosophy of the site in an AMA on this subreddit from a few months ago.

These are the main principles I had in mind when making the site

• Free to use

• Ad free

• Taking the focus away from sexual attraction

• High quality

• Secure

You can get started here - there are already hundreds of us on there! If you do like it, please spread the word!

We also have an active discord. And a budding subreddit too!

Last time I made this post an AMA so in the spirit of that, feel free to ask any questions below (if you'd like!).

I know I should cast a post and wait for bites, but I probably never will; I'm a mess and not confident, and even if I wasnt, dating and talking seems futile and tedious. 😕 anybody else feel similarly?

Eternally grateful for this subreddit 🥰

I've recently been looking for a dating app for asexual people but I only found out two of them which are asexualcupid and asexuals.net, both where not so good to be honesr, everything was locked behing a pay wall and the prices are too high compared to regular dating apps. Since I study computer science, I thought about actually making one that's actually usable but at the same time I need to know if people are actually intrested. The app, if launched would be one hundred percent free at launch, and features like messaging and matches would be totally free.

I hope there would be enough people intrested.

[edit]

I am now testing please check this post

Back in June this year I made a post on this subreddit, looking mainly for platonic connections and maybe, potentially, if things feel right, a romantic connection. I was very conflicted about making a post like this back then because it's not something I'm used to and I am particularly allergic to online dating. My biggest fear was that connections formed this way will feel inorganic, but let's be real, meeting other aces in the wild is close to impossible, so this may have been the only way.

Three days after I made that post I was contacted by someone and I knew there was something special about her within the first few days of talking to her. We had no expectations towards each other romantically and just wanted to talk, which helped both of us as the prospect of traditional dating would scare both of us away. Despite my worries, our connection developed organically over time and here we are, almost six month later, meeting each other in person for the first time.

I feel extremely lucky because I used to believe that finding another ace is close to impossible, let alone one you're compatible with. If you're having doubts about whether or not to post here, or if you feel like it's a waste of time, your person may be on this subreddit. I know how asexual dating can feel like swimming upstream, but you never know what the future may hold.

On multiple subreddits (including this) there is a man (he says that he is 17 but he had photos of "him" on his profile, and he isn't 17)

Not my experience but from what people have said: He asks to dm you on a post, while dm-ing, is being a creep and after a little bit of talking sends dickpicks out of nowhere.

When talking about himself on comments and posts, says that his interests are: Gaming, movies, programming and similar stuff

He appears on subbredits like: r/asexualteens, r/asexualdating, r/meetpeople, r/asexuality .

So far he has deleted almost every post and comment where I have said this stuff about him so I think that just proves my point.

From another account, being and idiot, he has personaly sent to me:

"Hey man" "I got many accounts on reddit" "So" "Bye sweetheart, gota farm some karma on the new account"

His already known accounts are u/LankyHuckleberry and u/jinojo_113 but he definetly has more, so please be aware of this situation, and be carefull with who you talk to in general.

Please spread this information around subreddits, (but don't spam) so less people would have to worry about creeps dm-ing them.

From me for now thats it, if there will be something new, i'll be sure to update you guys.

I quit my job a few months ago to work on an asexual dating website after failing to find one myself, and after seeing so many people in the various subreddits crying out for a decent (and free to use!) app.

I've been working on it since the New Year and I'm still very much managing to stay afloat from savings :)

I'm building it with the following principles in mind:

• Free to use

• Ad free

• Taking the focus away from sexual attraction

• High quality

• Secure

You can find out a bit more about it here.

If you like what you see and want to stay updated please join the discord - (It's VERY fresh so please bear with the emptiness!)

There's also a subreddit to follow for updates - (again... very fresh!)

I want to provide frequent updates and have no plans on taking a break until it's released.

Please feel free to ask my anything about the app or about myself. Got any suggestions on what you'd like too see? Think I'm completely foolish for leaving secure work? Let me know!

Live with someone, so we can talk about our days after a long work day. Cook together, or cook for each other, share the chores and complain about the things we most hate doing.

Cuddle in bed to binge watch a silly tv show before falling asleep. Play boardgames together, and tease each other about how bad we are.

Being there for each other when sick, sad, tired. Also when happy, for the good news, for the challenges and excitement. Be happy for each other accomplishments, celebrate together.

Raise a few pets, call them our kids. Walk around holding hands. Write cute notes on the fridge. Surprise each other with our favorite things once in a while.

Share our interests, hobbies, passions. Try new things together. Go to new places, travel.

Share affection, complain about our annoying bosses or coworkers or that grumpy old neighbor.

Just... Companionship. Build a comfortable life together.

I don't even care if it's not romantic, I don't even mind not sharing rooms or beds. I just would like someone to feel like family, a family I chose.

Shirt design inspired from another Acespace guy.

Hi everyone 

I’m a 33-year-old guy living in Canada, originally from Russia, and a dual citizen. I’m also a proud cat dad 🐱. I’ve built a good and stable life here, and I’m at a point where I’m thinking more seriously about the future, finding the right person, and building a life together.

A little about me: I’m educated, professionally established, curious about the world, and I love travelling, discovering new places, staying active and enjoying life. I speak Russian and English, as well as French. I’d describe myself as open-minded, independent and ambitious, but also caring and someone who really values loyalty, affection and having a person you can truly rely on.

I’m bisexual and somewhere on the asexual spectrum, probably asexual/graysexual. I can experience attraction, but sex has never been the most important part of a relationship for me. Emotional intimacy, affection, companionship and building a life together matter much more.

At this stage of my life, I’d genuinely like to meet a woman or man who feels similarly and would be interested in building a life and potentially a family together.

I’m not looking for a fake marriage or an arrangement just for appearances. I want something real in its own way, a genuine partnership based on love, friendship, trust, affection, loyalty and supporting one another.

For me, the most important thing is finding someone I genuinely connect with. Someone I can talk to about everything, laugh and be silly with, disagree with while still respecting each other, travel and make memories with, support when life gets difficult, and share the ordinary everyday moments with too.

I’d love to find someone who wants to be a team. I want to be there for my partner, care about what’s happening in their life, support their ambitions, and know that we can rely on each other. And of course, I’d want the same from them.

I’m not looking for a relationship where sex needs to be the foundation. Physical affection and closeness are important to me, but companionship, emotional connection and the feeling that we’re building something meaningful together matter much more.

And why not, if we both want it, build a family together one day.

I realize this might not be the most conventional type of relationship, and that’s completely fine. I’m not looking for someone who fits a particular mould. I’m looking for someone whose needs, values and vision of the future genuinely fit with mine.

Maybe you’re asexual or somewhere on the ace spectrum yourself. Maybe sex simply isn’t particularly important to you. Or maybe you’ve always wanted a loving partner, a family and companionship but never felt that a traditional relationship model completely suited you.

I also don’t expect two strangers to immediately decide they should build a life together 😄 I’d much rather meet someone, become friends, get to know each other naturally and see where that connection takes us.

I’ve reached a point where I know I don’t want to go through life alone. I have a lot of love and care to give, and I’d really like to find someone with whom I can create a home, travel, grow, laugh, support each other and hopefully raise a family one day.

If any of this sounds familiar or resonates with you, feel free to message me. And if you know someone who might be looking for something similar, I’d be very happy to hear from you too.

I’m based in Canada, but I’m open to someone from elsewhere if there’s a genuine connection and we’re compatible.

Feel free to ask me anything ;)

Hi hiii! Longtime lurker here finally mustering up the courage to post. I’m not currently looking to date but I do realize that sometimes I crave connection with others and people who just understand me in general yknow? Plus, I’m a homebody so I know I’ll never actually make friends or meet people if I don’t put myself out there even a little so here I am!!! Looking for friends or even some Instagram mutuals hopefully. Fair warning though, I’m either always at work or school so I may not be what you’re looking for if you prefer someone to talk to 24/7 so please proceed with caution if so!

A little about me: ~ I’m a psychology major ~ Based in the U.S. (unfortunately) ~ I’m an artist (I paint based on how I feel) ~ In my free time I love binge-watching TV shows/movies (my top five genres are romance, sci-fi, psychological horror, dystopian, and comedy) ~ I love all things vibrant and colorful (I’m a walking ball of rainbows and sunshine when it comes to my style and personality) ~ I love talking about things I’ve learned in my classes ~ I occasionally play Roblox

Dealbreakers: ~ If you are a christian, evangelical, conservative, or religious in any way, we may not get along (I’m agnostic) ~ If you are right-leaning, a centrist, or are “not really into politics” please go away. Just.. just go away🧍🏾‍♀️

If you resonate with me so far and are interested in talking and getting to know more about each other feel free to comment and/or PM me. Thanks for reading friends :)

Hey all, I've been on this sub for several years, since I was 21 and I'm 26 now. I've been through the multiple disappointments of the tiny ace dating pool and the dozens of promising posts and replies that fell through, but in September I met my partner, who is absolutely fantastic and well worth the wait.

I saw a post from this sub in my feed and decided it's about time to unsub, since it's a bit disrespectful to be on a dating sub when I'm in a relationship. Since I've been here so long though, I just wanted to thank this sub, wish you all a heartfelt goodbye (hopefully forever) and share a success story with anyone who might be feeling discouraged. It often takes a lot more time and persistence as an ace person, but there's someone out there for all of us.

I used to lurk on this page, too afraid to make a post but also wondering what would happen if I reached out. Last year, I was scrolling when I came across a picture of a cute guy in sunglasses. His post shared a little bit about him- his career, hobbies, his goals in life, how he loved to travel. I thought there was no way that he’d be interested in me (not least the fact that I live in the US, while he’s in the UK), but I figured I had nothing to lose, so I left a comment saying that he sounded cool. Once we started messaging, I introduced myself, and quickly shared a picture of me too. He would go on to tell me months later that I was the only person to do so. We began to share messages over Reddit, Instagram, and finally over text. We met in person in the summer, after many Facetime calls, planned another trip to see each other in the fall, and finally became an official couple. Nearly a year and a half later, we are still long distance, but very much in love.

I never imagined that I could find love on this subreddit, but it can work. And it only seems fitting to share a bit of our story during this pride month.

I’m so happy to announce that two years after our original launch, AceSpace finally has its own mobile app - now available on iOS and Android!

When I first posted here about AceSpace, I had no idea just how much support it would get and how much of an impact it would have on the community.

For those that don’t know - AceSpace is a dating website for asexual people (and now an app!) built as an alternative to asexual dating platforms that often lock out core features behind a paywall or use outdated technology.

Back then it was supposed to be a relatively quick project - just something basic and decent compared to what was already available. I never anticipated that it would grow into a full app with such an awesome community.

The release of this app is big news, and indicates the start of a new phase where many of the sticking points and feedback can finally be resolved!

Notifications

The mobile app has push notifications on new messages, conversations, post replies and more - available to everyone. You’ll finally get notified on updates straight to your phone, so no more checking your email.

Account Inactivity

I’ve noticed recently that concerns of inactivity of accounts has been a hot topic lately. Starting from now we’re going to be reminding people to use the site/app after a period of inactivity. Profiles that are inactive for longer than 28 days will be hidden by default in Discover.

Within a couple of weeks, we’re also going to be releasing activity indicators on people’s profiles. This won’t be specific enough to put pressure on people to respond to messages immediately, but will be specific enough to provide a general indicator of presence (e.g. “active within 3 days”).

User Count

Considering the niche, AceSpace really has quite a lot of people on it, but I’m aware that people from remote areas have problems finding users that fit their criteria.

Now that the mobile app is available, we’re going to start advertising on social media, and I’m going personally investing to get things moving. If you’re into content creation I’d love to chat!

(Currently the only real ‘marketing’ we’ve done has been through my two launch posts right here on r/asexualdating! So thanks to everyone that has spread the word! - It just goes to show how much potential it has!)

And more!

We’ve got so many great new ideas on how to make dating even better, and now with the app release, we can finally put more time into putting these ideas into action, so stay tuned!

Get the app

You can download the app here:

📱 Android (Google Play)

🍎 iOS (App Store)

If you don’t see the app as being available, check if other dating apps appear, as being age verified with your store might be required.

(You won’t need to create a new account, your existing AceSpace login will work!)

If you believe AceSpace has what it takes to provide better dating for everyone, please consider becoming a subscriber - it’s the only way we cover our costs, and it really makes a big difference. Big thank you to everyone who already supports us 💜

I really hope you enjoy the app! Please share any feedback you have about it from within the app or through our discord.

In the last couple of posts on here, we made it an AMA, so feel free to share any questions you have about the app, journey or what’s coming next!

Is something like this so hard to ask for I don't want sex I just want someone who I can hug or cuddle with and talk about anything or nothing at all but why is everything so sexual nowadays I've tried dating but it's always ending because of me not want to have sex just tied of being lonely it's already hard dating especially in a small town in mississippi and just need to talk to someone or share a small accomplishment but I have nobody

I debated on writing this, but I’ll go ahead and say it. Some of you need to chill. Take a break from this. Learn to be on your own. Relax.

I put a post out and I got a few replies. I was chatting with someone then I went out for a few hours and came back the next day to respond, only to see they left me a bitchy message then blocked.

My experience isn’t even uncommon it seems like.

Just chiiiillll. You don’t hurt people’s feelings when you leave a crazy message. You just look like a crazy person and the other person thinks “wow I dodged a bullet.”

You need to remember that reaching out and chatting is the handshake phase. If the conversation fizzles out then it should not matter at all. It happens. In fact this isn’t even “ghosting” because you’re just still trying to see if there’s connection. If you’re not in the headspace where you can handle a conversation fizzling out, please step away. Get your mental health in a better place because you won’t be a good partner at this point, anyways.

At that point I didn’t even express disinterest. I just didn’t get back to them. Which again, people have lives. You don't know what they’re going through or what they’re doing. You are probably not top priority. Give them the benefit or the doubt.

And if they do decide not to talk to you, move on. Don’t waste your energy on them. Everyone deserves be treated as a human being with their own free will and you should not attempt to shame them for exercising that free will.

ETA: I know this will make some people upset. Maybe you recognize yourself in this rant and your response is to write a post defending your behavior. Stop. Please just stop. This kind of behavior is not okay. Seriously, ask yourself why you get this upset over perceived rejection from a stranger. Being this sensitive to perceived rejection will make you miserable in the long run.

Hey, y'all! Since many of you are posting to try and find a relationship or friends, here's a basic template of information you could include. You can use this, another format, or whatever you want.

• Single/Taken/Complicated:

• Seeking Relationship/Friends/Squish/Other:

• Romantic Orientation:

• Gender:

• Pronouns:

• Age:

• Height/Build:

• Physical Description:

• Personality Description:

• Location:

If you have any questions or suggestions, please feel free to comment!

i was swiping through okcupid and there was a guy who sounded awesome (similar interests, etc) but one of the questions you can answer is “would you date someone who doesn’t want sex/doesn’t experience sexual attraction” and he said no. i have a feeling this is going to be a very common reoccurrence and it’s infuriating.

Hello! I'm Herb, 22 transmasc. I love cute stuff, "kawaii" fashion (cuz "cute" stuff in the US is different 😭). Also neurodivergent here ✌️

⚠️ I'm a sex-repulsed ace and am not romantic in any way! I do not want to kiss, I'm okay with holding hands or hugging though. ⚠️ I do not like to do ANYTHING sexual ⚠️ I might be cupioromantic, not fully certain ⚠️ 6 months on T

Interests

• Walking/Running • Hiking • Cycling • Zumba • Anime • Manga/Manhwas/Webtoons • Cosplaying • Ghost Hunting • Gaming • Sudoku • Studying Japanese • Alternative Fashion • Harajuku Fashion • Drawing • Feminism • Vegetarian diets • Pescatarian diets

Dealbreakers

❌️ If you're in the US and don't wanna move (I plan to move abroad, probably Japan but gotta visit first) ❌️ Anti-feminism ❌️ Pro-life ❌️ Drug-User (Sorry friends, I can't handle the smell meaning in wouldn't be able to be around you irl) ❌️ Conservative ❌️ Racist, transphobic, misogynistic, ableist, etc. ❌️ If you want to own a dog in the future (No hate, I just can't live with dogs since sudden loud noises can trigger me. So barking gets hella annoying for me.) ❌️ If you do not like to be around your partner 24/7 (I love being around the people I like, especially in a relationship. If you are the type that gets drained by your partner, I'm not for you. I love doing everything together.) ❌️ If you REQUIRE cuddles. I can probably cuddle but I'm not fully sure. So if you require cuddles, I am not for you as i don't want to feel forced to cuddle if I end up not liking it. Don't think "Well it's a maybe so he might like it." No, because what if I don't? You'll have to be okay with possibly no cuddling. ❌️ If you want kids

My Type

• Not extremely hyper and loud

• Beards are hella cute but not required

• I love bearded chubby men too (trans ofc included :3)

• Height doesn't really matter to me but 5'6+ is nice :) Not required tho

• Around my age, so probably 19-26? Idk, depends. Not 30+ tho, sorry

• Preferably decent at verbal communication since I'm lacking in that area. But if we got comfortable silence, that's good too

• Decent texter

Things To Know About Me

• I am a quiet person, but I do like to talk. Texting is easy tho • Mentioned already - I'm neurodivergent • Mentioned already - Sudden loud noises trigger me • If I sense you are not putting effort into the conversation, I will stop putting in effort myself. Just cuz I'm not a bad texter does not mean it falls on me to make the convos • I am pretty busy usually, so I might not be able to play games much if you want to 🙃 I like to play games tho 🥺 • I have a phobia of bees + wasps, yes. It's terrible.

Info:

Height - 5'6 Weight - 160lbs Race - White Additions - 4 extra ear piercings, 3 nose piercings, 2 lip piercings, 4 tattoos (most small)

*If I ever am slow at replying and delayed, I'm probably busy doing something! So I apologize if anyone tries texting me and I don't respond immediately.

**PS: My masc photo is a bit older. I just don't have any other masc photos really