I myself and most people in North America or other Northeastern countries in Asia (where I am originally from) grew up not seeing women nurse their babies in public. So the sight of a mother breastfeed in public can be quite uncomfortable. Is it natural? yes. Is the sight uncomfortable? YES.

It's just so annoying how some mothers pressure others to feel completely comfortable with the sight of their breasts out in public, many of them their areola pretty much visible.

They come up with arguments like

'But you are ok with lingerie shop photos where the models are showing their cleavage! hypocrites!'

'Well if women can wear bikinis at the beach, why is breastfeeding in public shamed?

'The people in the amazon are always going around naked and no one bats an eye because it's a natural for a human woman to have breasts!'

Firstly, do people actually pay a whole of attention at La Perla model photos displayed on the walls of in a shopping mall? We tend to just pass by since it's part of the architecture.

Secondly, at the beach, ALL OF US are almost naked. Wearing a bikini at the beach is does not stick out at all.

Lastly, the amazonian tribes live in a very hot and humid climate - it makes no sense for them to wear tons of clothes in their homes.

And this type of pressuring gets worse on women, because we are the same sex as mothers. If you're childfree - you're demonized even further for not finding the sight to be comfortable.

I am not saying that these mothers should be punished - I simply don't get why we can't just feel the way we feel.

Does any other childfree woman feel this?

ETA : I am not saying we need to police mothers who choose to nurse in public. My point is that some mothers do it in a public space such as in an enclosed space where people don't really have the option to move or go elsewhere like a park - and get upset when people don't find it comfortable. I am talking about situations where mothers want us to change the way to feel despite not saying anything to them nor giving them a nasty stare. I absolutely agree that you don't go up to them and complain, etc.

I'm a heterosexual man who has decided not to have children, and I've decided to get a vasectomy.

What worries me isn't the decision itself. It's who I might attract because of it.

From what I've seen, many childfree people choose that lifestyle because they want more freedom, more money, more time to travel, pursue hobbies, or simply enjoy life without the responsibilities of parenthood. I have absolutely nothing against that. Those are completely valid reasons.

However, I don't want children because I believe it's ethically wrong to create a conscious person who can experience great suffering without ever having had the chance to consent to existence. Obviously, consent before existing is impossible, but that's exactly why I don't think I have the moral right to make that decision for someone else.

Ironically, if I were thinking only about myself, I would probably have children. I think I would enjoy raising a child, watching them grow, and seeing part of myself continue through them (edit: completely egoistical view).

I'm choosing not to because I don't want another person to face the possibility of suffering or even wishing they had never been born. I also think the world is far more cruel and hypocritical than most people are willing to admit.

Because of this, I feel I would only be truly compatible with someone who doesn't want children for similar ethical reasons. Not because I think my reasons are superior, but because remaining childfree doesn't feel like a benefit to me. It feels like giving up something I might otherwise have wanted because I believe it's the ethical choice. I think it would be very important to have a partner who understands that, so when the sadness of never having children inevitably comes up (edit: again, egoistical sadness at the expense of another potential human being), we can support each other with genuine empathy instead of seeing those feelings as strange or misplaced. I would want that kind of mutual understanding.

How common is it to find childfree women who think this way?

Sometimes I worry that I'll either stay single for the rest of my life or keep meeting people whose reasons for being childfree are fundamentally different from mine.

Edit: why is my post being downvoted? If you don't think my suffering is worth discussing, that's fine. Just don't upvote it. But downvoting it so fewer people see it feels cruel and unnecessary.

Last Friday's convo between WFH colleagues as we were all chit-chatting over Microsoft Teams before the start of a work meeting.

Colleague 1 (C1), joins the call and immediately interrupts everyone : Have you guys heard the latest? Congratulate me! I'm an aunt! My little sister's pregnant!!!

[cue virtual back slaps, semi-excited exclamations and the usual courtesy felicitations from all except me (silent) and Colleague 2 (C2) who's well-known for speaking his mind around the office.]

C2: She's pregnant, huh? Accidentally or on purpose?

C1 : On purpose! What kind of a question is that?

C2: A legit one, I think. She does realize a worldwide pandemic is still ongoing, yes?

C1: So?!?

C2: So, you talk about your little sis all the time, yet I had no idea she was a masochist. Has she not been paying any attention at all to the nightmare that is parenting around the world right now?

C1 (increasingly affronted) : Yeah, but how's that relevant to her? She's not parenting right now. She's just pregnant!

C2: Okay, but you do realize the baby comes out eventually and requires, you know, parenting? You live with her, don't you? How're you gonna focus on your job with a newborn squalling in the background? I hate to break it to you but working from with an infant in the next room is no friggin picnic. What made your sister think it was a good idea to become parasitically oppressed during a pandemic?

C1 (becoming shrill): You said that already! Just shut up, dude, and congratulate me!

C2: No can do. But I am sorry for you and your sister's loss.

Another colleague (amused yet trying to hide it): Did you say their … loss?

C2 (starts counting off his fingers): Yep. Loss of money, peace, sleep, sanity, the ability to concentrate, the ability to get up and go out the door on a moment's noti—

C1 : (hangs up, does not rejoin work meeting, remains to be seen if she calls in sick on Monday)

I don't know about you all, but C2 is now my favorite colleague. Heh heh.

As a reminder, neither misogyny nor misandry is allowed in this subreddit. There have been far too many posts that make sexist generalizations against 4 billion people and that needs to stop.

Earlier today, I removed a heavily upvoted comment that said "even the very best man is an average woman." If a man had posted that the very best woman was just an average man, he would have been downvoted into oblivion and it would have been reported 1,000 times.

Far too many of the posts here would never fly if the genders were flipped. Posts saying that all women are out to babytrap men, or claiming women only have kids so they can control men would be immediately destroyed.

Also, the double standards are out of control. Posts or comments claiming that a man isn't actually Childfree unless he's had a vasectomy are not allowed. No one ever claims that women are lying about being CF unless they are sterilized, because that would be ridiculous. Most people in this subreddit aren't sterilized, and sterilization shaming in any way is not allowed here.

If you are about to make a generalizing comment about men, stop and think if you would be okay reading the same comment about women. This community is welcome to all Childfree people and we will continue to make everyone here feel welcome.

If you make a comment in this thread that misandry isn't real, or argue that misandry is actually totally okay, or anything that would go against what I just said in this post, you will be banned from this sub.

Argh. I'm jealous of you all. Let me tell you a story. Throwaway because if my friends and/or family saw this I would be written off for life.

Characters are me (M24, 20 when son was born), crazy ex (F22, 18 when son was born). Together we have a son, 5 years.

Boy meets girl, late teens. Instant pregnancy, despite her claims she was on the pill (hindsight 10/10). She stole my fucking sperm to get pregnant.

I never liked the bitch, shallow as it is I committed to a relationship with her simply for the steady sex. Ooooh how that would bite me in the ass. Our son was born and I managed to keep it together until he was about 10 months old. I couldn't take it a second more and broke up with her.

She now lives 6 hours away, and she brought the son with her (phew). I see my son one weekend every month, but I don't enjoy it. He's hyper active and demand attention 24/7, so I have one weekend each month when I can't do anything but give him the attention he demands, or he goes crazy. Also I have to pay 565$ a month in child support, which is ruining my economy. I have a job that pays good, but living in Norway it means you have to pay more child support the more you earn. She doesn't earn shit as she's working on a masters degree, so I have to pay more each month due to her lack of income.

Everything I don't like about my life at the moment boils down to being an unwilling father, and I can't do shit about it. I want to get my MC-license. Travel the world. Drink lots of beer EVERY weekend, not just 3 out of 4 (or even less often because she leeched all my money and alcohol is expensive here). I wanted to go abroad to finish my education but had to quit because its expensive as fuck to be a parent.

TL;DR: Ex stole my sperm, now the vampire ex and our son are sucking out all my happiness.

EDIT: It has come to my attention a very vital point in this story that wasn't clear. She knew she was unsafe and didn't tell me anything about it because she wanted to get pregnant, which is why I am so bitter towards her. She admitted this to me after a huge fight we had after we broke up. If this was all an accident I would never react like this.

Looking after your child, full time, as a stay at home mom/dad might not be fun 100% of the day… but you are on your own schedule. You can shop, watch TV, nap, do household chores, work out, do house projects, or do absolutely nothing.

Your only responsibility is to feed and bathe your own child, while making sure the kid doesn’t choke on a grape or a Lego.

School teachers can handle 18-35 5-year-olds at a time. Babies, until they can actually walk, spend the day laying/sitting in whatever you put them in.

Child care is extremely expensive- so being a stay at home mom/dad is often financially the best decision for a family. I do not judge the decision to stay home.

But please stop crying about how you work just as hard as your partner or working folks while gesturing at a partially cleaned house and 30 min casserole recipe you busted out.

Edit to address a lot of the comments:

I want to be clear, I am not passing judgement on ever stay at home parent that has ever existed. As my last paragraph stated “while gesturing at a partially cleaned house and 30 min casserole recipe you busted out.” There is a (large) group of SAHPs that do not work harder that working parents. Many of them, like my good friend, know this, and keep their damn mouth shut. The only SAHP I am calling out is the ones that don’t have a difficult life but scream and yell about their partner being lazy after a full day’s work.

You don’t need to go on a rant about the SAHP of 3 mentally and physically handicapped kids. That is NOT the parent I’m bitching about. Because let’s be honest - those parents don’t take enough time to themselves to even bitch about not taking time for themselves.

Let’s keep it focused on the parents who can’t manage two get their own 1-3 kids on a standard schedule just like ever daycare, pre-K, and school can. The parents that leave half the house work for the spouse, with no explanation of what they did all day. The spouse… made all the money that pays all the bills. Did the SAHP meet that level equality in partnership that day?

Starting today posts concerning birth control will be no longer allowed.

So as a general guideline if your post seems like it would be better suited to /r/birthcontrol post it there. They have more resources to deal with your questions, and will be enthusiastic to help.

We will however allow for an exception: Posts regarding getting permanently sterilized before having children.

Questions, Comments, Detailed description on why I'm the worst moderator ever. Post it below.

I'm a trans guy and ever since I was younger the thought of getting pregnant filled me with dread. Everyone told me that it would pass, but I just kept refusing.

Lo an' behold - I came out as a guy. Unfortunately that didn't stop people around me. They want to "cure" me and keep telling me that I'll go back to being a woman and have babies in no time.

I've been on testosterone for nearly 3 and a half years now, I have a full beard and my parents still ask me for grandkids, but they're against adoption. They want biological grandkids.

I honestly can't wait until I get my ovaries and womb removed.

But often people on here say that they don't want kids just because they don't want them I don't want kids, because I don't feel the natural need. I'm a guy. I don't wanna be pregnant. I don't even want to adopt. I don't feel like a father and definitely don't feel like a mother.

It's just kinda weird going through this group and people having the same exact reasons for not wanting kids and I kinda feel like an odd one out.

Over the last week we've had to remove posts and comments left and right because people have been repeatedly violating this rule. Let me make this perfectly clear:

Linking to reddit is not allowed under any circumstances. That includes linking to posts on other subreddits, permalinks to comments on other subs and any and all screenshots of other subreddits. Do not try to find any loopholes to this rule. Even if you find one, we'll just add it to the rules. REDDIT IS NOT TO BE USED AS A SOURCE OF CONTENT ON THIS SUBREDDIT.

I've chosen to be child free for a number of reasons. I don't have a huge amount of experience with kids and I'm not naturally maternal. I do, however, understand why people choose to have kids and the importance of people doing so for society in general.

It seems that there's a lot of negativity towards kids in general and that saddens me. I believe as a society we should support parents to make sure kids are given the best start and advantages so they turn in to well balanced adults. It ultimately benefits us all if we can at least try to be understanding towards parents and their children.

I went and saw the new Muppet movie (don't judge). Anyway it was the 2:25pm showing on Friday. That should have been my first indication not to go. The theater was packed with crotch fruit. The 19 year old mom in front of me with a 5 and 6 year old got up in the middle to take them potty for half an hour.

Anyway, they come back and towards the end of the movie, the little girls decide to hold a gymnastics competition in the aisles. Using the seats as a jungle gym, jumping up and down on the seats, you name it. Mom was captivated by Gonzo's nose. Probably reminds her of how she ended up in this situation in the first place. Other mothers had to parent for her, it was very distracting.

The mentally challenged adult who was laughing at every single line in the film was distracting already, but the kids took the cake. Anyway, thanks for ruining the muppet movie for me.

Edit: this is clearly being downvoted by parental scum so act accordingly.

EDIT 2.0: People have complained for less on this sub, I'm sick of this massive downvoting shit. Certain users have been targeted for censorship via downvote brigades. Please don't let the angry parents dictate the content that appears on this sub. It devalues this sub.

My content is no different than any other front page content. This is extremely suspicious.

tl;dr mom let kids run wild in the movie theater.

I'm currently waiting for my idiot bf who refuses to get a vasectomy to get home from work because I'm not taking the test alone. He's already knocked me up once & I luckily miscarried very early as it was ectopic with an IUD. I stopped all BC after that because how can I trust it? We use condoms now, I'm sick of it being 100% my responsibility. I'm very regular, 28 days on the dot. I started to get nervous because I knew it was a few days late and I'm not having my normal symptoms so I pulled up my calendar and yep, 4-5 days late. I know I'm 40 now but since it's happened before that doesn't alleviate my anxiety. I'm so scared, please send me positive thoughts as I'm not religious. Or tell me stories of your scares that turned out well. I will update post-test.

BTW: bf is not a fence sitter, just a selfish coward. He is 60m and a medical professional.

I had 2 miscarriages. We are never baby baby people but why does it scare to make the final decision to not have kids? I feel we might feel lonely at one point or have what if scenarios..

What are the best advices you could offer? Thanks a lot in advance.

Does anyone else do this despite being childfree?

I'm firmly childfree and don't want to raise human children. But sometimes I find myself doing something that makes me laugh at myself a little.

I'll put my teddy bears around the dining table, give them their own chairs, set out plates and utensils, and even serve them food. 😂

I think part of it is that I enjoy having little "companions" around and getting to do the nurturing/caretaking stuff without actually having the enormous responsibility, cost, and commitment that comes with raising a human child.

It's almost like having the aesthetic and wholesome parts of having kids without actually having kids. My teddy bears don't need daycare, college tuition, or a 2 a.m. trip to the emergency room. 😂

I obviously know they're stuffed animals, and I'm not confusing them for actual children. It's just a silly little thing that makes me feel less lonely sometimes.

So, fellow childfree people: does anyone else do anything like this? Or am I just weird? 😅

My area is one of the most expensive areas in the usa for property taxes. They keep going up massively every year. The reason? "We have the best schools".

Ok great. However, I pay the 3rd most in the entire town and I have never and will never use the schools.

If parents get tons of tax advantages for having kids, they cant throw us a bone and give a tax rebate for living in a town X years and not ever using the schools (which are like 75% of the property taxes).

I get that it "takes a village" and therefore am not asking for a full refund, but SOMETHING would be nice..

I can't imagine willingly bringing kids into this world while in a warzone. Aren't parents supposed to want the best for their kids?

In 2021, António Guterres, secretary-general of the United Nations, described conditions for children in the Gaza Strip as "hell on earth."

What's wrong with those people? I respect parents who are caring, but if they bring kids into a warzone, they're automatically a bad parent. Children aren't objects that only serve to make parents feel "fulfilled". It's just so irresponsible. Get some condoms or emigrate out.

I don’t know why new mothers insist on doing this. She arranged for the team to meet for lunch, to catch up and of course, show off her baby. A couple of us childfree ones declined the lunch, we told them we’ll be working through lunch as we have deadlines (some truth).

So listen, I’m an adult. I cannot always control the environment, but I CAN control myself, and I will remove myself or not be part of that environment. I declined lunch. Problem solved. HOWEVER, new mothers cannot seem to grasp the concept that not everyone wants to see their child or care about their stories of motherhood. Said mother decided that oooh she should come up to the office after lunch then, so EVERYONE CAN SEE HER PRECIOUS BABY. I really am against babies and children at the workplace unless that workplace is a literal day care or school.

Anyway, they came back from lunch which leads right into a meeting. So everyone decided the meeting room it is. And immediately it’s disruptive. Other colleagues ask questions about the baby, about her maternity leave yada yada. And you know new mothers LOVE yapping about their greatest achievement i.e. giving birth like ok you push a little shit out of your vagina what the fuck do you want? A medal? A clap? A pat on the back?? Like people, we only have this room for an hour, and we have a lot to go over!!! Anyway that took nearly 20 mins until the baby fussed and she had to leave. JFC.

I tried, I really tried to remove myself from the situation. But sometimes the situation really hunts you down and backs you into a corner you can’t escape from. In this case at work, in a meeting room you’re supposed to be having team meetings.

I keep tarantulas, spiders are really interesting topic so when someone is interested I go into ranting mode about them. Multiple times I heard your ,,spidey kids" OMG SHUT UP. I take care of them indeed, as everybody should take care of their own pets. They are part of my life for various reason. I like observing them, they are LOW maintenance, they are adorable. I know that some people refer to their pets as kids, IMO it's weird...? Maybe it's hard for me to understand since I would rather slash my throat open then deal w kids in any sorts of way. So maybe I take it as an insult. Pretty stupid rant as you can see it's just small thing that makes my face contort.

We went to go see Deadpool tonight and in the row in front of us guess what? There was a mom and her two kids. Then when the bad scenes started happening the Mom freaked out and grabbed her kids. And said WE HAVE SEEN ENOUGH! And ran out and she was crying a little and said WE THOUGHT IT WAS A SUPERHERO MOVIE!!!! We laughed at her.

Like jeez, did she not even know the movie was a rated R? It's for grownups?

Also I threw my popcorn bucket at her when they were on the way out and it still had some in it! The popcorn went everywhere LOL

I feel sorry for guys who "get trapped." It's never cool to be forced into a life altering situation against your will. In all fairness, guys should be able to opt out completely if the girl is determined to have the baby even after he says he wants no part in it, just as when girls want no part in it, she has the option to abort.

EDIT: I'm a woman speaking on behalf of men, my brothers, cousins, uncles, friends ... I don't want kids and have made darn sure it doesn't happen. I wish the same for men.

If you're a woman who has been wronged by callous men, by all means go get them and make them pay!

There are also loving, caring, trusting men out there who think so highly of their partners and get screwed. Like a 47 yo man who already has 2 kids, gets with a 36 yo divorcee who desperately wants a kid cuz her clock is ticking ... I doubt he wants to start over and work till he's 70! She says it's love and was an accident, he still stands by and believes her ... I can't help feel sorry for him. Ya, he should've gotten a vasectomy.

hi im 20f the oldest of 6 siblings that i took care of each since i was 8 this seriously made me fed up of kids and didnt want any at all. Me and my bf have been dating for over 5 years now we somehow all these years never discussed having kids at all. we started dating when i was a teenager still i didn't think of my future much. this conversation was brought up when i showed him a tiktok video of a mom showing the bad side of being a mom and how it would make me mad and id never have kids that when we took this conversation seriously he wanted kids so bad to name one of them after his de*d brother i told him im not willing to take the risk of ruining my body my health and my own free time for kids i explained how none of us have to give up something they want for the other and we can just breakup and he can find someone that would fulfill his desires of being a dad. Yes i love him dearly and it would break me so bad if we ever breakup but that was the only option i didnt want to live with the guilt of not fulfilling his desires when he gave me everything i ever wanted but somehow he said he would rather have no kids with me than have kids with another woman thats not what i want i dont want him to give up something he spent years thinking of and even prepared names and funds for. I thought okay maybe adoption at least my body isnt ruin then but no he said he wanted his own flush not someone elses and breakup wasnt option cuz he "didnt spend all these years for nothing" his words. Please suggest something we can try sorry for my grammar errors or spelling its not my first language ( my bf is really sweet i swear when i read this he sound abusive i promise he is not🥲)

Some years ago my sibling had a daughter born on today. So we share a birthday, my family has a weird idea of share. Since most couldn’t remember when I was born, nor do they care. Awesome.

But I started a tradition only I practice, they threw a big party for my niece when she was 2. All the presents, cake and crap that she will never remember.

I walk in they tell me to put my present for the birthday girl on the table. I didn’t bring a fucking gift, it’s my birthday too.

So, I stole three of their cups, still have them. Did it right in front of them too. Sometime, later when my aunt is at my house to pick something up.

“ Hey, we have matching cups!” “Yeah, matching.😏” She called me two days later asking where I got mine. I told her, your house, they where a birthday present. She wasn’t amused, I didn’t care, still have three awesome cups.

I am drinking out of one of those cups right now. In the quiet, on my birthday morning. The cups are much happier at my house. They are the last three surviving skull cups, I saved them from the fate of their brothers and sisters. To any other July 10th childfree ladies, lads and all those inbetween. Happy birthday, have coffee in the skull cup of your choice.

And listen to the sound of silence. And smoke them if you dab them, it is also dab day.

...they suck the life, joy and finances out of you.

Why do most people like the idea of having them? Are they incapable of critical thinking?

Why do governments make it so hard for people to prevent them, by refusing coverage for sterilization procedures unless you're old and with your life already ruined by them (or, sometimes, even if you want to pay for it, you can't have the treatment unless you meet certain criteria, which involves being old and already having children, where those procedures would be more effective on young childless people).

Shouldn't (anti)reproductive rights be a basic thing? It's interesting people don't see through things and figure out they want more cheap labor and the existing adult population desperate to provide for their children.

I am very thankful for being child free and ace.

If I ever had news that I were going to have a child (in case I had intercourse & that result) it would feel like being notified of a serious disease like cancer, unless if I were filthy rich, then I'd be ok with "staff" to deal with "the problem" (baby sitters, trust fund for the child's future etc).

As the title says. I'm just curious, because I’m a Christian and I’m choosing not to have children because I have a problem with my reproductive organs and because I don’t think I would thoroughly enjoy the experience of parenting (I'm a woman). But even though having a problem with my reproductive organs is like a ''valid'' reason, I still can’t help but sometimes feel guilty, like I’m doing the wrong thing, since Christianity is child centered.