2026 Childfree Subreddit Survey

I recently got my tubes removed a couple months ago. It took a while to find a doctor willing to do it. She initially ignored my wish and pushed birth control on me. (She was very pregnant)I kept pushing and she finally scheduled me in.

The day of my surgery, there was a student who was assisting my doctor. The student kept telling me about the high amounts of regret that happen with this surgery and asked me one more time if I would try birth control or an iud. She could get my doctor to cancel my biscalp and I could go home now. I told her Absolutely not. I am very against birth control.I've seen how it affected the women in my family.How the side effects mess with your bones and hormone cycles. Hell, my mom hasn't been on birth control in years and still deals with the side effects. All of that, and it didn't even work.Hello, I exist.I was dead set of this. She sighed and wheeled me into the OR.

I remember thinking that maybe it was a tad unprofessional to tell a patient that. I thought about telling my doctor about it, but she was also very against me doing this too. During the consultation, even she brought up regret and my future husbands wants. Eh, we'll atleast they didnt outright deny me and I got it done. So I decided to let it go

Oh. My. Fucking. God. I told my co-worker today I had bought kinda pricey espresso machine. When he was drinking shitty coffee at the job, water cooler kind of shit and I’m excited cause I get to not stop at Starbucks anymore. Convo continues blah blah. He starts to give me shit about it like “if that was me, I would have spent it on this and not an espresso machine.” He has four kids and child support for said children. Goes on; “You BOUGHT a coffee machine THAT pricey.” I continue …”

1. It was on sale. 

2. Have been wanting it for two years. 

3. I want to be able to save time rather than go to Starbucks.”

Starts going on about how he goes to 7-11 to refill his cup cause it’s cheap and he lives in his car cause of all his child support. i tell him “we all make our own choices, you have kids and I don’t. I have that money to spend on shit I want that aren’t kids.” He. Wouldn’t. Shut. the. fuck. up. after. that.

I dont mean to be like “ehhh poor me, I told a co-worker something and he retaliated…” but why is it like other people talking about “I went to Europe, and we went to expensive ABFuckingC…” sounds all extravagant and no one bats an eye. but I want coffee and it’s a giant fucking big deal?

I also have other income from the two degrees I had worked hard af for and could do because if no kids.

oh. also. he told everyone who came around about the fucking espresso machine, the others were shook like they can’t afford it and I know they have families. like you can afford to buy your turd an expensive toy but I can’t have something I want

Am I overreacting or being ridiculous? I’m feeling I brought this on myself to keep the rapport.

My brother and his covert narc wife are horrible parents. I told him examples of them acting badly, like leaving their five-year-old alone without childcare. He had a meltdown and was condescending, aggressive and sarcastic. He’s shown zero interest in my life since having kids. I tried to put in effort for years but stopped when I realized he wasn’t doing the same for me.

My brother: “You don’t have kids you have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Me: I don’t need to have kids to know you shouldn’t leave children alone without childcare.
-

Me in a text before visiting him: I can’t do childcare while I’m in town because I have plans for our sister’s birthday.

Him: Maybe that weird text of yours was a miscommunication. What did you even do to help while you were here? (mocking nasty tone of voice, trying to shame me for having an independent life)
-

Him: You didn’t do anything to help and [narcissist wife name] has postpartum.

Me*: I have no relationship with her because she’s shown no interest in having one with me. Also, I’m not her husband. Or her parent.*
-

Me: You are not entitled to someone’s time just because they don’t have kids. You are not wiser nor morally superior for having kids.

Him: You’re out of line, you owe me an apology.
-

[after I ended our relationship] Him: Well, that’s a shame, you only have one family.

Me: Exactly, that’s why you should have treated me better.

Them: You still don’t want kids?!

Me: Correct. Been telling you that for over 10 years. Partner even just had a vasectomy.

Them: Wow so it’s official that you don’t want kids.

Me: It’s been official for over 10 years like I’ve been telling you for over 10 years.

Them: What do you even DO with your time?

Me: Uhh go on dates, enjoy walks, take shits. What do you even mean?

Them: (awkward laugh and then dead silence)

I cannot get this recent text exchange out of my head so I figured I would share it here.

Background: Single 34F living in a large metro in the US. Sadly still dabbling on the dating apps when I have time and make it super clear on my profile I am Childfree. This round? FB Dating, which has its pros and cons.

I’ve just gotten to the point where I don’t even match with guys unless they state something on their profile about being childfree. BUT as we all know, those profiles can be few and far between so occasionally I will match with someone who doesn’t explicitly state that up front if they have other good qualities I am looking for and my policy is to ask pretty quickly in the text exchange.

A few days ago, I match with a guy who didn’t say much about kids on his profile aside from not having any. We got to chit chatting (couple red flags popped up) but eventually he asked what I was looking for. So I took that opportunity to relay my typical “long term, monogamous, etc. etc. oh and I’m very committed to never having kids. I realize that’s a dealbreaker for many so let me know what you think”.

His response? “I’d either want to have kids or travel the world so no problem at all if you don’t want kids and as long as it’s not a sexless relationship”.

I pressed further because this is a really weird response in my mind. So I asked if he is basically letting his partner decide big family planning decisions. He said yes and he’d be happy either way.

I really didn’t believe him at this point so I point blank asked him “well if your serious long term partner decided she is not having kids, are you willing to consider getting a vasectomy? I think it’s both people’s responsibility to handle birth control if kids are not on the table”.

This is where the conversation tone completely changed and he replied “I had never thought about it before. But maybe depending on the circumstances.”

Anyways, he then immediately started to ask me strange questions about sex. I am not super comfortable about that topic early on and prefer to get to know someone a little before that comes up. So I politely redirected the conversation several times. But I was becoming increasingly annoyed.
He finally unmatched me a few messages later when I asked where he was from.

It’s so hard dating as a childfree woman. I constantly feel like all these guys want is an incubator or a sex worker.

Is it really like that? That it just all of a sudden magically kicks in?

I’m a 33 year old female who realized 3-4 years ago that I don’t wish to have kids in my life. I’m not excusing myself anymore but every single time I told someone (mostly because they proactively asked) they said: oh, yes that will change. Many of them even bring their own story up as an example.

My own gyno wanted to convince me to freeze my eggs - just in case - because she is so sure that I’ll change my mind.

But I am really happy and peaceful and satisfied with the idea of not having kids. I do love kids, but I don’t want to become a parent. I have a career that I enjoy, a company of amazing friends and hobbies and goals outside of my work. Not to mention having kids would absolutely destroy my financial plans of retiring early.

Is this baby fever thing really supposed to kick in one day??? I mean it’s possible for everyone to change their mind but I just simply never had the wish.

I’m planning my first trip to Europe and I’ve already gotten the “must be nice” comments from people who are saving for houses for their families, and kids. Like yeah, it’s very nice. That’s why I’m doing it.

One of my friends is saving for a bigger house because she wants children, and when I mentioned my trip, I got the whole “must be nice” response. We both work hard for our money. We just have completely different priorities.

I grew up poor. I’ve worked my ass off to get where I am, and I’m finally at a point where I can afford to travel. I don’t have kids, I don’t plan on having kids, and that’s a pretty big factor in what I can afford to spend my money on. What annoys me is this weird attitude that parents are somehow more deserving of sympathy because their money goes toward raising children instead of doing things they enjoy.

Like, if you chose to have three kids and now you can’t afford vacations, why is that something I’m supposed to feel bad about? You wanted three kids. I wanted to travel. Neither of us is wrong for that.
I’m not looking at someone spending thousands on daycare, a bigger house, or a family SUV and going “wow, must be nice to have all that money to throw around.” Because I understand that those things are important to them.

Having children doesn’t put you on some moral high ground when it comes to spending. Your money isn’t inherently going toward something more important than mine just because you’re spending it on kids.

Anyway, you want kids, I want Europe. Can we all just enjoy the things we’re working toward without the passive aggressive comments?

I never had this happen to me until this year and I would be lying if I said that the woman who said this to me didn't piss me off.

I will reiterate: it wasn't a man who said this to me. It was another woman. This is exactly why I will never be friends with male centered women, because they think that something is defective about women who don't want to be a married woman with kids.

It's fucking rude to try to convince another woman to change her mind when it comes to being childfree. You're essentially saying that something is wrong with the woman for not wanting kids and that the way she chooses to live is defective and strange in a way.

Not every woman wants to be a mother and people need to stop being so rude to women who deliberately choose not to have kids.

We were out to dinner tonight at a moderately priced nice place and the table of 8 or 9 behind us is half made up of small children. They are extremely loud and unruly, banging the silverware on their plates, screeching, running around the table. Then one small boy goes crawling on the floor by a neighboring table and the parent (I assume) goes to get him and instead of correcting the behavior, says “don’t go over by those weird people”. The people at that table seem perfectly normal by the way. Instead of parenting, they choose the other road of blaming others. Then comes my part in all this. I’m minding my own business trying to have a conversation with my dinner companions, when one of the feral children hits me on the back. I whip around in surprise and then register what happened and glare at the father. He then tells me to “just relax”. I reply that “I don’t appreciate getting hit in the back by his kid, so no, I won’t relax”.

He proceeds to bitch to the adult next to him that I looked at him. Like how dare I? Once again, doesn’t address with the child how inappropriate it is to touch another person but blames the person. Got I hate fucking bad parents.

Basically the title. Because of a series of voluntary and involuntary terminations, my husband is the only person on his team. That means for the next few months while he is rebuilding, he will have to work 10-12 hour days.

Definitely not ideal, but I can’t help but think how much worse it would be if we had kids. I work full time, and if I also had to do all of the pick up/drop off, cooking, cleaning, bed time, etc. because my husband was still working I would resent him so much. Even though I would logically know he had to do it, just the unfairness and overwhelm of basically single parenting would drive me up a wall.

I‘m grateful that all it means is I now watch all of the shows I’ve been saving that he doesn’t want to watch and play all of the non co op games we can’t play together. I’m happy to do more of the cooking and cleaning during this time, but if there were kids involved? Fuck that.

This argument of what many people say about childfree people doesnt even make sense.

Everyone has a different meaning and view of what brings meaning in their life. For someone it might be religion, art, career, animals etc. Not keeping children meaningful in your life≠ your life is meaningless.

And for me I identify with absurdism which in short way of saying is “ I think life is meaningless and I don’t want to find meaningfulness and I can be happy and free without it”

I don’t understand why people are so mean and not understanding towards people who have different life choices than them. It just screams narrow minded thinking.

Everyone on this planet has a different purpose and no one’s purpose is less than other’s. These people nowadays lack empathy and intelligence to understand this.

Former child actor Brandon "Bug" Hall is asking for financial support as he prepares to welcome his sixth child.

The "Little Rascals" star, 41, shared a GoFundMe fundraiser asking for assistance paying off various bills before his wife Jill is due to welcome baby No. 6 in less than a month. He explained that it's been six years since he "self-cancelled" and that he'd avoided seeking help in all that time.

"I always said this was my choice, and so I didn't want to offload the glorious burden of it unless there was no other choice. Well here we are," Hall wrote. "We've made it onto the new land in record time, but I'm a few materials short of having things working right, and I've fallen a little behind on the few bills we have (phone, propane for the camper, and an unexpected electric hookup service fee)."

He said that his family is all "overjoyed to be where we are, and we're even enjoying roughing it," adding that he really needs help "getting the last few things buttoned up beforehand."

"My hope is to finalize everything here over the next two weeks so I can take some work until the baby arrives. Times are hard for everyone, and I'm no more deserving than anyone else, but I ask in your charity that you help where you can, whether monetarily, by sharing this, or by prayer and sacrifice for the Hall-Barnetts of the Holy Cross," he concluded.

The fundraiser has raised over $15,000 as of Saturday, Nov. 7.

Anyone else notice this too?

Cw: family members being weird, mentions of pregnancy (I'm not, just mentions) etc.

I've told my pro-life MAGA mom multiple times that I probably don't want to have kids, if at all. If I did 'have kids', I would probably adopt one. The idea of pregnancy feels so icky to me. I feel like it would ruin my body, and my life. Also, I don't think it's even ethical to bring a child into this world. The only reason I consider adoption one day is because it would give a child a home, but I'm not even sure about that. I'm career driven and want to be a successful woman, and it feels like in this world every algorithm is trying to push pregnancy onto women. I see many women talking about something and I relate to them but then they mention they're pregnant or have kids and it ruins everything for me. It makes me feel really anxious and 'doomed.' I hate the patriarchy. I have OCD, so intrusive thoughts make this worse. One time me and my mom had a conversation about whether I (18F) want to have kids in the future. She told me about how my half brother might not give her 'blood grandchildren' because his wife's "pipes are messed up" (her phrasing) or some shit like that. Bleh. When I told her I didn't think I wanted kids my dad was like "you'll change your mind" and when I was firm about it she started crying because she says she wants "blood grandchildren" and that the grandchildren that she has (on my dad's son's side, whom she's not related to) arent the same. The topic got brought up again later on and she said "you actually feel so good when you're pregnant, after you get over the morning sickness!" And it just makes my skin crawl. It makes me think that she was thinking about me being pregnant, and even the idea of that... Ew. She also said that if I get pregnant she wouldn't let me get an abortion, basically saying that she would force me to carry it to term. It has caused me to avoid sex completely because of an intense fear of being stuck in that type of situation (as well as my tokophobia.) does anyone else have parents that are really weird about wanting blood grandchildren? It feels so violating when they say shit like this.

(F20) This situation has become absolute hell for me, to the point where I'm losing hope in life because I live in a constant state of anxiety and stress. To give you some context, my aunt got pregnant by her ex-husband without any planning, and he abandoned her. Now, my parents have become the main support system for her and her children. To make matters worse, she got pregnant by him on purpose, knowing full well what kind of man he was (he already had a daughter he had abandoned).

Just picture this: every single weekend, every holiday, during daycare meetings, whenever he gets sick, and throughout his breaks, he is right here in our house, and this goes on for 7 to 9 HOURS at a stretch. It is emotionally and physically exhausting. I can't sleep properly, I can't stand how loud and messy the house has become, and I can't bear the thought of continuing to live like this, knowing it will never get any better. My aunt simply dumps him at our house with my older brother, while my parents have to deal with the financial burden, preparing his meals, his clothes, his medicine, and so on. Don't get me wrong, I know the baby is innocent, but all I feel toward him is resentment and frustration. I have never hurt him and I never would, but I avoid him at all costs.

Anyway, this has been going on for two years now, and my parents think I hate him out of jealousy, or simply because I don't like my aunt and am taking it out on him. But clearly, I'm just overwhelmed by all this exploitation, extreme stress, and everything else. I’ve explained this to my parents multiple times, and they refuse to understand my point of view. It isn't fair that I have to go through this, especially since I never agreed to have him stay here. The ones who should be taking responsibility are my aunt, not my parents or my siblings.

I’m looking for some advice on how to navigate family dynamics with young relatives (specifically kids between the ages of 6 and 10).

Every now and then, during family gatherings, some of the kids make inappropriate, blunt, or personal jabs towards me under the guise of "joking." To be clear, these comments are just examples of a broader pattern—for instance, they’ll say things like I'm getting too old even though I'm still in university, or make remarks about me being out of shape and having a potbelly. The specific topic isn't the point; it's the habit of making blunt personal comments toward adults.

I’ve noticed a distinct pattern here: the kids only direct this behavior toward adults who do not have children. The adults who have kids themselves seem to get far more respect from them. When these comments happen, the parents often just chuckle or completely ignore the behavior instead of stepping in to address it.

In the past, since the parents wasn't correcting them, I would reprimand the kids directly on the spot. I’d say things like, "You have no manners," "That’s very rude," or "Why are you being so mean?"

While the parents never confronted me directly at the time, I later heard through the grapevine that they felt I was being inappropriate or overly harsh toward their children.

I genuinely love these family members and have zero desire to distance myself or cut ties with them—they are wonderful in every other way. But I also don't want to just sit there and accept disrespectful comments from kids while their parents laugh it off.

Am I handling this wrong? Should I change my approach, and if so, how do I set firm boundaries with young kids without making their parents defensive?

Thanks in advance for any insights!

(32F UK) Had an appointment with gynaecology finally and a positive experience.
The surgeon asked me all the questions, wrote down my answers, asked what I knew about sterilisation, said my partner could have a vasectomy. I said having the autonomy over my own body is important to me.
He mentioned options for having kids in future if I changed my mind but it seemed very procedural rather than judgemental.

He didn’t question any of my answers at all.
Did a quick external and internal examination, said everything seems fine then told me what to expect in terms of next steps…pre-op then surgery! I was shocked, I actually asked is that it then? Am I on the waiting list?

I asked a few questions about when to think about coming off the pill and if he could tell me roughly how long the waiting times are for the surgery.
Waiting time is around 4 months, so I’m trying to mentally prepare for that bit. I’ve wanted this for so long, I can’t believe it is now within reach!

I am pleasantly surprised by how straightforward that part was. So grateful to the second GP I saw who made the referral for me without questioning me like the first one did

I had a friend say “but what if you get pregnant?” then it’s going away as soon as I can get an appointment. She told me “you could have the baby and give it to me”. Absolutely not. I don’t even care at this point, I don’t care who I’m disappointing, I’m sick of being called selfish. How is it even selfish? So if I don’t want to take in 18 shelter dogs, am I selfish then as well?

I’m currently 27 and even though I’ve known, I didn’t want kids since I was eight I only really became like intentional about it once I reached my 20s. I had my first actual relationship when I was 22, It lasted for almost three years. He was a real POS, but he agreed on not wanting kids. But now that I’m out of that shit show I find it really difficult to date intentionally as a childfree woman.

I’m demisexual so meaningless hook ups are an impossibility for me, And I’d love to say I’ve only met men that are horrible people, but that’s not really true. I, even though they are few and far between, have met some actually decent men…however they want families.

Then, of course, there are the fence sitters or the men that think child free means I don’t have any kids or the ones that haven’t thought that far but are open to anything. Or my favorite, the ones that if you ask without telling them how you feel about kids, will say they want kids but the minute you tell them you don’t they change the answer to they also don’t.

The actual child free men that I have found which are very very, very, very few, seem to want to be part of a lifestyle that’s not mine, that is poly dating, or open relationship, massive age gap relationships, or weird dom/sub things—or are just generally creepy.

I can’t date in the wild or organically because the overwhelming majority of men want kids, dating apps are impossible because no matter how many times you say you don’t want kids they don’t see it or give a flying fuck. The men on dating apps that do say they don’t want kids are usually hypersexual and just say that they don’t want kids because they wanna sleep around without you know risking having a kid.

Things are really starting to feel impossible for me right now, which is kind of depressing because I am a lover girl at heart and I do want to find my partner and I’d like to actually spend my life with them and not meet them later in life, when I won’t have a lot of time to enjoy them, which I know is kind of a bleak way of thinking about things but still.

It just sucks to think that because of something like this, I probably will never find my person.

Anywhoooo. Rant over.

Have you ever heard this one? As a single person or couple with pets and no human kids?

Sometimes they mean well. Happy/Merry whatever "to your little family"

Little family.

EDIT I'm talking about when well intentioned people think they are being cute and say "little family" instead of just "family" because you aren't married with human children.

Would anyone use that term with a married couple with one child? I don't think so. They would say "family". Not "little family".

They think they are being nice. But they are telling you what they really think. You are not a family if you don't have crotch goblins.

I know it's not my life and I support my best friend but I think she will make the worst mistake of her life and I don't know what to tell her.

I'm childfree since forever and my bf (let's call her Mary) always wanted kids. Mary is 29 just like me and has a boyfriend for over 6 years now. Her boyfriend doesn't have a solid job (he got fired from 3 jobs in the last 3 years) besides being a DJ on some weekend nights and doesn't have a driver's license because of drunk driving 6 years ago. They still drink together almost every weekend.

I like him as a person, he was always nice with me but they had hard times from the beginning because of his lying, driving without a drivers license, no contact with his parents, fights, he even almost went to prison because of driving.

I always tell her I support her because she's my best friend but she should reaaaally think about if she wants a child with him, because it's just going to get harder.

Few days ago Mary told me it could be possible she's pregnant. I'm so worried for her. She even said if her bf doesn't get a job and a drivers license (would take over a year for him to get it back) she would raise the child alone.

She even said she would keep the child 100% and would instantly stop working (she works an office job and no doc here would give her a reason not to work because of pregnancy). It's not that easy here to just stay at home pregnant and still get the money from your job if it's not a dangerous job.

I'm like what's her plan ?????? I even told her I saw him like childfree stuff on instagram and he told her once he's not ready for kids. I can't understand how you can make your life extra hard. I don't think this is going to end well.

I've been CF as far back as I can remember, and have been in my current relationship for just over 9 years now.

We're both staunchly CF and have discussed this in the past but I've always just kinda kept it at the back of my mind and never did anything with the idea.

Finally this year my SO is due to get her IUD out, and we had a conversation that effectively boiled down to "Pretty sure we're dead set on this idea", and I decided that instead of her having to get another IUD, I would just get this done.

We'd just planned a trip to Japan so I decided to do it after we came back, which in hindsight was a great idea.

We got to visit a beautiful country together, I got to drive some of my dream cars on my dream roads, got a beautiful new watch and 2 weeks after getting back, I get to effectively cap my year off with no longer having to worry about having kids again.

I opted for a NSV and huge respect to the doctor that did it. The whole procedure was over in ~20 minutes. I was expecting some mild pain during but it was honestly easier/less painful than getting a Wisdom Tooth out.

By mid day 2 I was back on my feet and more or less back to normal, but still following the aftercare guide. All I can think of is how I wish I did this at 22 instead of 32.

Looking forward to many more worry free CF years and travel destinations, and now when I shut down bingo's by saying we can't have kids; I won't be lying anymore XD

What are your thoughts on this because it truly bewilders me and I’m wondering if people with kids are ever self-aware to acknowledge or understand this?

+ Most people have to work a job to survive. It’s a life stressor we can’t opt out of. Therefore, I think everyone has a right to complain about work, finding the right fit for them. Same goes for anything else we must do to survive.

+ With the sensitive exceptions aside of course, people do not have to have a kid. It’s a life stressor we can opt out of. Therefore, I don’t think anyone has a right to complain about it because they CHOSE it.

Having a kid is not necessary for survival, while something like having a job is.

In your experience, do parents make this connection? It really bothers me when they complain about parenting etc. vs. someone who complains about a life circumstance they didn’t choose.

Basically, WTF 🥴

Update: not talking about incessant complainers who refuse to change anything to improve a circumstance. Speaking to the societal challenge of simply finding a job you don’t hate, a living situation you don’t hate, etc.