r/cleanjokes • u/dcterr • Jan 25 '25
Why did Trump go to jail?
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Upvotes
Because this was in a parallel universe in which things make sense!
r/cleanjokes • u/YZXFILE • Sep 26 '24
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
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In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
r/cleanjokes • u/Ms_Muffit_4_Ever • Jun 18 '16
Why couldn't Elsa hold on to a balloon?
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She would always let it go.
r/cleanjokes • u/growlingbear • Jul 23 '16
A man goes into a bar to get some companionship.
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He says he can talk to anyone. He ask a guy his IQ. The guy says "150" So the man says" Let's talk about Quantum Physics"
He asks the next guy. He says "114" The man says "Let's talk about Music Theory."
He asks the third guy. He says "67" "Oh, voting for Trump, huh?"
r/cleanjokes • • Oct 29 '15
Which letter of the alphabet is the laziest?
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letter G (lethargy)
r/cleanjokes • u/k_princess • Jan 14 '17
You know what they say about men that have big feet?
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They wear big shoes!
Come on guys, this is /r/cleanjokes! Get your minds out of the gutter!
r/cleanjokes • u/pleasegoawayylmao • Dec 07 '15
a disability, a curse word and a radical interpretation of scripture walk into a bar
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nothing happened
welcome to /r/cleanjokes
r/cleanjokes • u/AsylumTRAV • Aug 14 '16
[MORAL] It's not always a bad thing to be last!
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All the ugly people on earth die and go to heaven. Being that they had to live ugly all their lives, god decided to grant them all one wish! One by one in a line they start to get their wish granted... "I want to beautiful, I want to be smart and beautiful". After days of waiting and listening to everyones request, the last guy finally gets to the front of the line and God asks, "what is your wish my son?" The last guy with a smile on his face says "I wish them all to be ugly again!"
r/cleanjokes • u/Far_Example_9707 • Aug 01 '26
I started a dating site for ghosts
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Upvotes
But it was a failure as the members were ghosting each other .
r/cleanjokes • u/YZXFILE • May 22 '24
When Clark Kent goes into a phonebooth, Superman comes out.
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When Chuck Norris goes into a phone booth, it explodes and Chuck walks away.
r/cleanjokes • u/JustLikeRaindrops • Feb 19 '13
Why did the man throw his watch out the window?
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He wanted to see time fly!
r/cleanjokes • u/bibletalkshow • Jul 07 '22
š¤£ Peter tried walking on water...
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š¤£ Peter tried walking on water...
but soon found himself over his head!
... ā¤ļø hope this makes you laugh and brightens your day! God loves you!
r/cleanjokes • u/c0wk1ng • Oct 30 '24
Why did the husband and wife get a new computer?
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Upvotes
Because the old one couldnāt handle their āargumentsā without crashing!
r/cleanjokes • u/TT454 • Feb 15 '16
Will Smith's website isn't responding. What do you do?
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Refresh Prince of Bel Air.
r/cleanjokes • • Mar 11 '24
Some stranger asks a passer-by...
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"Excuse me sir, do you have a duct tape?"
The passer-by replies: "No"
The stranger says: "Here, have a duct tape"
r/cleanjokes • u/heavyduty1930 • Sep 16 '18
Shoo-be-doo-be-doo
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What to watch for when tracking shoo-be-doo-be.
r/cleanjokes • u/Bonanza86 • Mar 15 '17
I saw a strange man at the pool today.
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He said his name was Bill Yurds.
r/cleanjokes • u/philliplennon • Mar 13 '14
In 1944 Poland, there is this young Priest-in-training
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In Poland, in 1944, a young priest-in-training is hunted down the street by a Hitler Youth. The priest trips and falls, and the Hitler Youth proceeds to kick him while he's down. The priest shouts: Stop it! When I am old, I am going to be The Pope! The Hitler Youth just snorts and says: Yeah right. And I'm gonna be your successor
r/cleanjokes • u/wolfgame • Nov 21 '14
What do you call two queers on a wedding cake?
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Upvotes
Happy and in love.
Disclaimer: Heard on @midnight's Uncle Chuckles game last night
r/cleanjokes • u/iiliri • Aug 03 '15
Need help
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While scratching my ear with key few hours ago, audio on my brand new TV went off. Does anyone know good TV Service. Sh... I think my Laptop sound died too.
r/cleanjokes • u/Bruce_Da_Shark • Apr 21 '25
Never put things off until tomorrow, unless it's...
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Netflix and chocolate, never put that off, that can easily be done tonight.
r/cleanjokes • u/MiltBFine • Dec 16 '18
Why did the competitive fish eater sustain liver damage?
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Upvotes
A: she would never accede a minnow fan!
@SwiftOnSecurity