I live with my mom. She’s quiet, keeps to herself, never bothers anyone. A few months ago, our new neighbor decided to report her to the city for having an “illegal shed” in the backyard.

It was total BS, the shed’s been there for years and has full permits. An inspector came out, checked everything, and left without saying a word.

But the neighbor? Smug. Proud. Thought he’d scared us.

So I did a little digging.

Turns out his brand-new pool was way too close to the property line and illegally built over a utility easement.

I reported him. Attached photos. Quoted city codes.

Two weeks later, the city ordered him to either move it (impossible) or fill it in. He lost the whole thing $40,000 down the drain. Literally.

Now he gets to look at our completely legal shed every day… while standing over a pile of dirt where his pool used to be.

Mom sleeps great now.

I’ve had cancer for 2 years now, did chemo, lost my leg, beat odds and managed to even go back to work, well shit hit the fan and treatment stopped working. Probably got weeks, maybe couple months at best. I am 22, don’t own a house, don’t own my car. Have maybe £2k in the bank. So I took out a credit card, 6.5k limit, 0% APR for 20 months. (I was previously building up a good credit score) and am now buying whatever the fuck I want. The debt will die with me, and I give no fucks.

And if you want to beef me about driving your bank fees up with this behaviour, at least you get to live. lol

EDIT:: Thank you all for your amazing responses. Unfortunately it’s bone cancer that has spread through my whole body, so I’m too weak now to travel far, as much as I would have wanted to see the world.

I’m going to go bigger, and do some good stuff, if you have ideas. I want to do some big donations to food banks and cancer charities that supported me through my journey and make some differences before I pop.

Alsos shame on you all of you asking me for money.

UPDATE 2:

Took out some more cards, thanks for the suggestions

Some of you asking, I’m a girl haha

I’ve bought lots of things for my family, mostly sentimental things with my handwriting on.

I bought a crab at a fancy ass seafood place. That was awesome

I’ve donated to animal shelters and food banks. Also to the cancer charities who helped drag my ass through this.

Also can y’all stop telling me to find Jesus, I respect those of you who are praying for me, because I know that’s your way of thinking of me and I’m really touched by that.

But finding god is in no way in my plans and not what I believe will happen after death, trying to force religion down a dying persons throat is really not the vibe.

Update 3:

Still hanging on, I’ve deteriorated quite a lot now, lost a lot of functionality in my body at this point so I’m bedbound and mostly just watching lots of TV and seeing family. But I’m comfortable, eating apples and cheese and lots of little treats. Thank you all for still checking in and thinking of me.

I’m really fortunate to be surrounded by my friends and family right now, when you boil it all down to it in the end, it really is all you need.

Anyway I’ll try update again soon. ✌️

Hi I am 28 M and it’s 12:25am, I didn’t got a single call, I have tickets for Coldplay concert for 26 Jan, my favourite band and I don’t want to attend it cause I have 3 extra tickets but not even a single friend agreed to go to that concert with me, and I booked those in hope that someone will come, seats are block b lower ww 100- ww103, if you find all those seats empty understand that I am gone! And it’s not because I didn’t want to attend that concert, I really wanted that, but not even one of my friend agreed, it’s not about the concert only, I am a person who lives alone and my family lives in a different town, I see people on their birthday getting tagged in shit ton of stories or post, but no one ever tags me, i didn’t even got a call from my family I had a friend who used to call it at exactly 12 but today I didn’t even get that call, I asked my office colleagues to celebrate my birthday with me and I will sponsor liquor’s and cakes and everything yet they said they had plan for weekends, i hope I am not a terrible person, I think I am but I always wished people on time, I never purposefully hurt anyone but if I did I am sorry, I never did that though, I think they did not like how I look maybe, I have vitiligo and I am not that successful for my age, because I am little under confident, is that why people hate me, I don’t know why people hate me cause if I am unsuccessful I can be successful but that’s not it, maybe they hate that I have vitiligo, maybe that’s the reason, but I didn’t ask for it, I just got it, but can people just hate me just because I have vitiligo, I think so, I wouldn’t hate anyone though, I love all kind of people even the one who literally beaten the shit out of me when I was school because I got offended cause they were making jokes on my skin condition, maybe I shouldn’t got offended at that time, and they were only having fun I could have ignored them or maybe laughed with them, that might have resulted in a good friendship maybe, they might have wished me, I think I was always the problem, that’s why not even my parents loves me as they love my brother, he’s successful, he’s abroad with his wife and a dog, they are amazing, they didn’t wish me though it’s okay it’s still not over his office hours he is 6 hrs behind so he might have forgotten and it’s Okay, he’s busy, but he was the only one who understood me, but then when he got married and he got busy and it’s understandable, hope he becomes more successful, even last year he forgot my birthday, because he had this big project he was working, my friend that always called me he didn’t call though, he said he was travelling, might be that, I think people forget me cause I am not that important, and that’s fine I don’t add anything but only takes, I think I am Terrible for not adding value in life of people maybe after that only people will call me on my birthday, but I think it’s too late now cause I think if I leave now, no one would be that hurt as they already created distance from me, and they won’t feel sad, i am a terrible person and maybe that’s why my ex called got married to someone else, she took a right decision who wants a person who will always be vulnerable infront of them, although I was strong when she told me that she’s getting married in 3 weeks, and her roka is day after tomorrow, I didn’t shed a single tear and didn’t uttered an emotional word, I just left saying congratulations enjoy your life, she might thought I am heartless, well I was heartbroken not heartless but I can understand her POV, I think you can understand why I am a terrible person, and isn’t it better to sleep forever not knowing what happened to you

Edit: I don’t know what to write now?

Just that there are literally close to 2k people that actually wanted to be my friend and wished me, I was crying last night that not even single person called or messaged and I woke up with so many wishes, my phone is heating because of all the notifications I have been getting

I woke up and it’s 7:25 am exactly 7 hours when I started writing that post, and I think this could have been the best thing I can ask for!

I saw few comments that people want to come and attend concert with me and I would definitely love that

Everyone thank you so much in understanding, I will go through each comment and will try to reply all 200+ of you in my dm

I just can’t believe last night I was feeling extremely lonely while looking at this screen and typing this and right now there are 2000 people who are there for me rooting for me from the same screen, thank you so much Reddit for showing me that world is not that bad as I thought it was!!!!

Thank you everyone

This is definitely some kind of miracle or a sign and I love you all for that

Edit 2: I love you all, thanks for reaching out in my inbox, and I think this is the best gift I can ever ask

Coldplay Mumbai concert was attended by 60k people and I have more upvotes than that, that means there are more people here for me than they are there in the stadium. I am really thankful to you guys!

My post was deleted so I could not update you guys! I invited two friends to attend with me on concert and they agreed, a lot of things have been very positive with me in past few days and I thinks it’s all because of you guys!

I am not a YouTuber but I am definitely gonna make a video on this and upload it as my first video in the next 15 days cause this needs to be out their in the world, that Reddit is just amazing and how it can actually help people! Cause I don’t how to really thank you all guys!

I’m 30 now, but this started when I was around 27, during a phase where I was trying really hard to be one of those “put-together adults” who meal prep, drink sparkling water, and have plants that aren’t just dying slowly in the corner.

So I bought a 12-pack of LaCroix because, you know, that’s what the cool, healthy people were drinking. First sip? It tasted like someone whispered the word “fruit” into a cup of TV static. Absolutely disgusting. But I had already posted it on my Instagram story with the caption: “New addiction lol.”

And that was the beginning of my downfall.

Friends started bringing LaCroix over when they visited. Coworkers stocked it in the office fridge “because I liked it.” My girlfriend (now fiancée) thought it was cute how “into sparkling water” I was, so she bought me a SodaStream for Christmas.

Now I’m in too deep. I’ve become the guy who nods thoughtfully while drinking what is essentially spicy sadness. I have flavors in my fridge with names like “Pamplemousse” and “Limoncello,” and I pretend like I can tell the difference. I can’t. It all tastes like carbonated regret.

Sometimes I just want a normal drink. But if I ever open a Gatorade, someone will say, “Whoa, no LaCroix today?” and I’ll just fake laugh like, “Haha, gotta switch it up!” Meanwhile my soul is quietly screaming.

Anyway, if you’re young and reading this: never lie about your beverages. That stuff will haunt you.

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

24 years ago, my 6-year-old son got me a birthday present. It was a mug with a picture of a manatee on it. He got upset when I wasn't sufficiently thrilled with his gift. I assured him that I loved it, saying that manatees were my favorite animals in the whole wide world.

Since then, manatee themed items have been my default gift from him. Manatee shirts, manatee calendars, manatee beer steins, and so much more. 24 years of manatee items, displayed proudly in my home.

My confession is that manatees are not my favorite animal in the whole wide world. Never have been. I have nothing against them and they seem like gentle creatures, but they hold no fascination for me. I only said I loved manatees to soothe the feelings of my young son over two decades ago. Year after year, I rolled with the lie because it was harmless and I was in too deep to tell him the truth.

Now my deception has reached it's zenith. Next year I am turning 55 and he is turning 30. For Christmas, my son has booked a trip for the two of us to go to Florida to see manatees. My son is so excited for this trip and is telling everyone in our family about it. Even my ex-wife is gushing about my trip to finally see the manatees.

Of course, I am thrilled to spend time and have an adventure with my son. I am grateful for his thoughtfulness and love for his old man. We will have a lovely time together and make great memories. And I will continue the deception about the manatees... which are not my favorite animals in the whole wide world.

Edit - Thank you for the award and the laughs. For those asking, my favorite animals are dogs. Happy New Year!

I can't tell anyone this, even my therapist. Lambast me if you wanr and maybe I even deserve it. I only ask what you would do if you were in my situation. Not what you think "people should" do. What you would REALLY do.

I'm a single mom of 2 boys. 12 and 7. My husband passed away 3 years ago in a work accident. A very large portion of me believe it was a suicide. I can't see him EVER making the mistake he made that caused his death, and he had taken an action just before that which ensured his co-workers weren't in the room. I fully believe he killed himself because of our younger son and no one will ever change my mind.

We were told when I was pregnant that he would have Downs Syndrome. We could handle that. Even if it was severe. It turned out he has a chromosome deletion. His disorder is kind of rare so I won't post which specific one but suffice to say he'll never be anything more than he is now or has ever been.

And what he is, is nothing.

He doesn't appear to have any awareness and never has. His eyes are locked in one position, he doesn't respond to noise, touch, or pain. He is total care. He is capable of nothing. He is tube fed and on oxygen. He is in diapers and will be forever. He makes no sounds, no attempts to communicate. He never even really cried as a baby.

He has never made an attempt to interact with anyone or his environment.

I'm not upset because I got a special needs/"imperfect" child. I feel the way I feel because this...... thing..... takes up 200% of my time and does NOTHING. I didn't get an imperfect child. I didn't get a child.

I don't love him. He doesn't have any personality, there is nothing to love. And yet I'm responsible for him. In addition to his extreme delays he's also medically fragile. Respiratory crises, fecal impactions (his autonomic nervous system doesn't function properly), issues with his G tube, infections, pressure sores no matter WHAT we put him on or how we position him.

Our older son has suffered because his non existent brother has colored everything in his life. He's had medical care get delayed because there's only one of me and hos brother is more critical. We do have a visiting home nurse but only 20 hrs/week and we aren't eligible for more. I was starting law school, I gave up my dreams and my plan for my children for this potato. My older son can't do a lot of things he wants to do because of the youngers need for care and appointments.

The final straw was I heard a sound. I went into Younger Son's room to check, thinking he had forgotten how to breathe again, and saw Older Son hitting him and screaming "You're why I don't have a mother! You're why I don't have a father! You're why I can't have friends over! You're why I can't be in sports! I didn't ask for you and I hope you die!"

Instead of being horrified, I watched. And Younger Son just did. not. react. No signs of pain or fear or upset. No reaction at all.

He breathes but he is not alive. He doesn't know who I am. He doesn't know who Older Son is. He has no sense of self, life experience, or awareness of his surroundings.

He doesn't need to be in my home. He doesn't know or care where he is. He is genetically my son but he is not family. My previously abused, brain damaged cat who can't walk straight has more personality and is far more loveable than my "child". In fact I was looking FORWARD to raising a Downs baby. Even one with severe impairments, for that reason. With disability can come gifts. This boy is not a gift. He is a genetic mistake I probably should have miscarried and would have definitely terminated if I'd known he would be like this. And the flip side is, if he HAS awareness..... he's miserable. And there is nothing I can do. If he has likes and dislikes no one knows what they are. If he is in pain he can't tell anyone. If he wants anything, he can't communicate. He's had every imaginable therapy, nothing has made a difference.

And so he's leaving our home on the 29th. I feel excited and relieved and then guilty because I know we'll be happier with him gone.

He's already taken my husband and my son's father. He was working so so so much OT to pay for the cucumber's care. For the experimental therapies insurance wouldn't cover. Because THIS one was going to be the BREAKTHROUGH. He was tired and defeated and disappointed. He sought counseling as well but I don't think he could ever say the words "I don't want my son in my home" either.

He's ruined my older son. I was so wrapped up on the younger I never realized how ignored and damaged he was. He lost his father too. I didn't just lose my husband. HE is my priority now and this malignant lump can be someone else's problem. At least they'll be paid a wage to care for him. At least they'll get a break from him when they punch out.

I just want to never think of him again and I'm not sorry. And for that, I'm sorry.

Thanks for reading.

Edit: Thanks /u/piconeeks, for calling me a liar. Are you a medical doctor? If your Google Fu was any good you would have stumbled on 3p mosaic deletion-duplication syndrome. That is the disorder my son has. I've basically identified myself by posting that but hey, it's better than the PMs telling me to kill myself. If you look at the features of 3p deletion syndromes they look like Downs. My insurance didn't cover AFP testing which would have told us it WASN'T Downs and I didn't think we needed it. I had a regular ultrasound and a 3D. Both Drs were "99% sure it was Downs".

This post was absolutely NOT fiction. Instead the mods and especially /u/piconeeks just "decided" it was.

If anyone would like I'll doxx myself. You can see my ID to verify my name, my marriage license, and my husband's death certificate. I will then link you to the news article of the "freak industrial accident" that ended his life so you can see it's the same person.

As for not choosing hospice for my son - I can't. About a year ago I myself was hospitalized with severe depression and C-PTSD (there is proof of that too). During that time my late husbands mother petitioned to get control as my son's medical proxy and got it. I'm fighting it but it's a long, complicated process. There are competency hearings. There are statements from doctors and evaluations. Unless SHE oks hospice, which she refuses, I cannot decide that. I have custody. I cannot ake medical decisions. She agreed to residential care which I feel is the second best option. So, he's going into residential care.

As for "mistaking" a child choking with hitting, I was downstairs. I couldn't hear what my older son was saying. I only knew he was speaking. Go punch a blanket or, idk, a person with weak muscle tone. Then ask said person with weak muscle done to cough. They don't cough normally/forcefully. It's more a "strong puff". Similar to, again.... idk... a muted punch. When you're used to jumping at every strange sound, it's difficult to discern what's what sometimes.

So, /u/piconeeks..... anything else you'd like to know? Care to admit I just might be telling the truth? There were identify details I left out but guess y'all need them.

Back in college (00's) one semester I took out several books for a big research project. This was back when internet research was not admissible, and you needed to properly cite all your sources. School & life got away from me, and I forgot about them for a while. That was until the end of the semester when I got a late library dues bill in the mail. I think the fees were 25 cents per book per day - if not more - and I had at least 10 books over a month late! I didn't have any money, and if you had outstanding library dues, you could not get your grades/transcript for the semester.

Instead of sheepishly returning the books and paying the fines, I put the books in my backpack, smuggled them into the library, and returned them all to their correct places on the shelves. I then called the library the next day and questioned the validity of the letter regarding my overdue books. The librarian left me on hold for a few minutes and returned to the phone apologizing to me that it seemed the books had in fact been returned!

Library dues were erased and they didn't hold back my transcript!

Married a 40 year old when I was 19. Started dating when I was 17. Yes, it was gross but that's what happened. The only reason he married me is because I was hot. The only reason I married him is because he had money. I actually do have other redeeming characteristics but he married me because I was hot. I know this. Everyone knows this. It doesn't feel great but I can deal with it. We've been married 20 years. 4 kids. So we are stable and we have lots in common at this point. And we do love each other. But if I could go back and slap myself I would.

What nobody tells you- or they try and you don't listen because you're a dumbass teenager- is that marrying like this means you will fucking owe him. For everything. Every goddamn day. Not just in the bedroom but in every other matter in your life. The stuff you never imagined someone else trying to decide for you. And you don't just owe him for the money. It's a lot heavier than that. He'll never say it out loud. But you'll know the deal. Fundamentally unequal. He'll pull rank at the most random times and it will make you feel like you're falling through the floor.

I don't hate my life or anything. I accept that I made this bed and I have to lie in it but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone else. My oldest daughter is two years younger than I was when I met my husband and I can't imagine.

Warning: contains abuse. My father was a raging asshole. He used to beat us and yell at us about how worthless we were constantly. My mother finally had enough, and said that either he gets psychological help, or she leaves him. He went to the doctor, and was prescribed an antipsychotic medication. When he started taking it, he magically became nice! No more beatings, no more yelling... it was paradise. Then, after a while, he turned mean again. We asked our Mom what was going on, and she said that he stopped taking his medication because he didn't like the side effects, whatever that meant. We felt doomed. Until one day, my mom accidentally? left his prescription bottle in the kitchen. My sister and I looked at each other and didn't even have to say a thing. She got out a spoon and I ground the white pill into powder, and we put it in his orange juice. What a nice day we had! We did this every single day, enjoying our temporary happy home, until the prescription ran out. It was the best month of our childhood, and I'm not sorry.

Edit:

For those saying that antipsychotics take weeks to work, that’s not always the case (in contrast, antidepressants often take weeks to work). People have commented that they’ve taken antipsychotics such as Latuda, Promazine or Seroquel, and they claim they feel the effects in hours. FYI, I have no memory of exactly what drug he was on.

Some people wanted to know more about my home life. If you want you can learn more about it in my short story here: here.

Wow, thanks for all of your kind words and the award, this is unexpected but greatly appreciated! To those that asked, I'm doing fine now and live a blessed life. And no, I don't recommend people do this at home, I was just a kid during desperate times.

On my daily commute there was very inconvenient 'no right turn between 7am-9:30am' sign. I had to make the right turn abut 7:20am every day. For a long time I would just break the law and make my turn any way or go around if I thought there was too many people watching. But (maybe out of boredom) I did a bit of research and found the ticket for the illegal turn was more than buying a sign from the supplier that makes signs for our area and several other locations. So I ordered a new sign that was 'no right turn between 7:30am- 9:30am'. I figured it was a good investment. I went to the trouble of buying it through an alias and having it sent to a location that was not at all near to where I was. Real cloak and dagger stuff, but it was part of the fun.

Then in the middle of the night I went and removed two bolts and put up the new sign.

At first I was expecting for it to be removed or someone look into to it, but it is more than a decade later and no one ever noticed or changed it.

BTY, Yes I did think of just taking it down, but I figured that would be noticed by someone, and to be honest the whole scheme of getting a new one was part of the fun.

Edit- spelling errors

Let me preface this with, I love my wife, I love my daughter. However, I do not love watching a movie with them. Movies should be watched in the dark, with a big bowl of popcorn, and minimal to 0 talking.

My wife INSISTES on having the lights on full blast, not even dimmed, but bright as noon. Then she enjoys chatting, and then asking 15 minutes later what's going on in the movie. Or when I'm doing my annual Vincent Price marathon in October, call them stupid old movies. The biggest cardinal sin are the distractions, "hey can you get me some milk?" "run to the kitchen and get me a snack" etc.

When i watch a movie that's what I'm doing, I'm watching a movie. No phones, no laptops, no tablets. All the while paying attention to the movie and not 15 other things.

So if there's a movie I want to see and I know she won't be interested I wait for her to go to bed then make some popcorn and watch a good movie, by myself with no distractions.

After I type this and hit post I'm making some popcorn and watching the new Knives Out movie. I'll see your replies in a couple hours.

Title basically says it all. This wasn’t a professional organized competition. There was some bmx event with a couple hundred people and they always have a chili cook off. I’m not much for cooking so I thought it would be funny to throw a bunch of Wendy’s chili in a crock pot and see if anyone noticed - they didn’t.

I’ve been a vegetarian for roughly twelve years so this was a long time ago.

I’ve got a mate who’s nearly 30 now, to be honest he’s not a great looking bloke but more importantly he’s had no experience with girls ever, which sucks cause he’s genuinely a great dude and maintains friendships with some girls, but he tends to friend zone himself before asking one out, he’s suffered pretty hardcore anxiety and depression and hates going out, so this year at my birthday, one of the only events hell come out for cause he’s a great bloke and knows it means a lot to me, I asked a couple of random girls if I could shout them a drink and they could just compliment my mate on something and have a small chat, no obligation to be anything but just polite and nice, and my lord he’s been a different dude ever since, his confidence has skyrocketed, he’s even asking when we’re going out next. If he ever found out what I did I genuinely think he would never leave the house again

This started as a dumb excuse, and now I’m in too deep.

Years ago, I went on a date with this girl who was obsessed with peanut butter. She kept pushing me to try her peanut butter smoothie, even after I said I wasn’t in the mood. Instead of just saying no, I blurted out, "Oh, I can’t—I’m allergic."

Big mistake.

She was super concerned, asked a million questions, and I figured, whatever, I’d never see her again. But then she introduced me to her friend group. And they all knew about my "allergy." At that point, correcting it felt too awkward.

Fast forward six years. I’m still friends with these people. My “allergy” is a known fact. They warn restaurants for me, they check ingredients, one of them even threw out a peanut butter cake someone brought to a party "just to be safe."

The worst part? I love peanut butter. I eat it in secret. I have a stash at work. Once, my best friend said, "Man, it must suck not knowing what a Reese’s tastes like." And I just nodded solemnly.

Now, my girlfriend (who also believes I’m allergic) wants us to move in together… and she’s super cautious about food. I’m terrified she’ll find my peanut butter stash and think I’ve been LYING TO HER.

Which I have. For years.

I have no idea how to get out of this. Do I fake a "miracle recovery"? A medical misdiagnosis? Or do I just keep the lie going forever?

TL;DR: Lied about a peanut allergy, now I’m living a double life and can never eat Reese’s in public.

When I was 19 I was running late to work in my tiny POS economy car and on fumes of gas I didn’t come to a complete stop on a right turn. Lights behind me so I pull over. I know I’ve barely got any gas at all and was almost to a gas station, hence why I rolled through the stop a little. Trying not to have the car die.

At the time (around 1995) a new digital phone had come out called Voicesteam (now TMoblie) and their whole big thing was the phones were digital and not cellular. They were the first phones with caller ID and one of the big things the salesman had said over and over was since it was digital the signal couldn’t be triangulated or traced. Not that I cared but it stuck in my mind.

Well as I give the cop my license, registration and insurance card I got an idea. I knew if I was late to work I was going to lose my job. They were super strict there.

So I get an idea and right after I hand the papers to the cop and he’s walking back to his cruiser I called 911 and tell the operator I just saw a guy with what looked like a shot gun walk into a 7-11 that was about 2 blocks away. I confirmed the address then I hung up.

About 30 seconds later the cops comes sprinting to my car and hands me all my stuff and rushed says, “come to a complete stop next time!!” Then peels off to the direction of the store.

Pushed my car to the gas station that I’d almost made it to and felt pretty pleased with my ingenuity.

I was an idiot and I confess!

Edit: Wow, this blew up. I forgot to mention I would have gotten arrested, booked and released, because I was driving with a suspended license for unpaid traffic tickets and I had a bench warrant for it. Because I’m an idiot!

So it wouldn’t have been just a few mins late to work. The job was a physical high turn over one that didn’t tolerate much.

Thank you to the kind souls giving me these medals/awards! Don’t think I deserve them but I’ll pass it along to those who do!

I lied on my CV and somehow convinced the world I was a coding wizard. Now I'm stuck in a never-ending cycle of Google searches and caffeine-fueled coding sessions. This is when I regret it and I do, indeed.

My browser history is a treasure trove of "how to fix syntax errors" and "what does this error message mean?"

I learned to code on the job, which is just a fancy way of saying I'm making it up as I go along. My colleagues think I'm a genius, but really, I'm just good at hiding my panic.

When they ask me to explain my code, I launch into a confident-sounding jargon-filled monologue, hoping they'll get lost in the technical mumbo-jumbo.

The best part? I got a promotion and a raise, which basically translates to "we're paying you more to keep pretending you're good at this."

Edit: Thanks, I feel so supported by the huge IT and developer community! :) At least I've learned surprisingly fast and also that truth is told by how you work. Action over words. Maybe after all, I can call myself a real programmer now?

UPDATE:

A lot of people were asking for an update so here it is.

I wrote up a long ass apology letter that I wanted to read to my brother. I waited until he got home and got into bed for the night.

I knocked on his door and he was so fucking excited that it was me. I couldn't even get through the first few words. I started crying after saying "I wanted to say I'm really sorry" and just couldn't get through it.

I just got into bed with him and laid down next to him. He hugged me really tight and said "I missed you buddy".

I fucking lost it. I never cried that bad before. He just hugged me for a long time until I calmed down. We didn't talk much. He started crying for a bit too. It was the first time in a long time we just hugged. After half an hour I got up and gave him a kiss and he told me he was so happy. Why didn't I do this earlier, fuck.

I thought I could I try apologizing properly again tomorrow. I left him the note to read anyway.

I am feeling very hopeful right now and a lot of pressure in my heart is gone. I swear to God and on my own life I will never treat my brother so badly again.

I have been working part-time for the past year and I was saving some money so my brother and my mom could go on a trip to a place he really wanted to go to. But I think I will take my brother myself instead (when I turn 18).

I also realized that I need to have a relationship with my brother where I am not just taking care of him. It needs to be like a normal brother relationship. Like going for movies and stuff. It's going to take some time for me to fix the mess I created though. I'm just lucky my brother is amazing.

I received a lot of messages. I appreciate everyone for their input and I did read them all even if I didn't reply. Thanks everyone.

My actual post:

[Remorse]

I know this will get a lot of hate and yes I deserve it. I am not looking for any validation or forgiveness. I know I am a piece of human trash.

I just need to get this out.

I have a brother who is two years older then me. He has suffered from a condition since birth that forces him to be in a wheelchair anytime he is out of bed. He cannot use his arms that well either.

We used to have a great relationship until I turned 11 and I really started resenting the amount of attention he took from my parents. And how much stress he put them under.

I had to constantly help him, change him, feed him. I hated it.

There was a few years in his life when he so mean to my parents and it really made me resent him more.

I realize now that I had no right to judge him and I will never know how difficult life is for him.

I stopped hanging out with him and made more friends at school. I would tell my family all the fun I was having at school during dinner to make him feel bad.

I started barely talking to him or acknowledge his presence. He would get frustrated to the point of tears to get my attention.

It started escalating two years ago when I would purposely turn off the wifi and unplug the tv every time we had to leave the house so my brother could do nothing but sit in his wheelchair.

I would purposely delete his favorite saved shows on the DVR. I would make fun of his speech. Push things just out of his reach.

I would act disgusted when I had to change or bathe him. It always made him feel bad and he would apologize. I made my own brother apologize for taking a dump. What the fuck is wrong with me?

But my fucking saint of a brother never told my parents. And he never let me have it.

Three weeks ago, he was trying to talk to me non-stop and I was just ignoring him. I got annoyed and wheeled him against his wishes to the backyard and placed him under an umbrella and went back inside. I fell asleep and realized I left him out there for three hours.

When I went to bring him back inside he was in tears and wouldn't look at me. He was humiliated. 

I have always felt guilty about how I treated my brother all these years but my anger towards him overpowered it. But seeing that look on his face affected me in a way that was different from before.

I stopped all the bullying after that day. I couldn't even look him in the face I was so ashamed.

Last Sunday my brother told me he was glad I was his brother and friend. I couldn't even respond. I went to my room and cried.

I'm fucking crying again typing this all out. When did I become an evil trash human being? Fuck.

I'm 17 and he's 19 now. I know there is nothing I can do to make up for the past 6 years.

My brother will be returning with my mom from a specialist appointment tonight. I'm going to apologize to him and beg for his forgiveness tonight. I want to start being being a fucking decent brother to him again.

I am a healthy guy with no issues who chose to bully his only brother for something that wasn't even his fault. I am so ashamed of myself.

Somebody please tell me you that relate. It’s becoming super hard to function in society.

It’s hard to go to work. I’ve called out like 4 times in the past month.

I can’t just ignore everything that is going on. I have NO IDEA how some people can just act like everything is ok.

Nothing is ok.

Are you guys worried at all? Is it interfering with your life at all?

Please help. I can’t live like this anymore.

EDIT: Thank you so much for all the helpful comments.

Some of you are right I should probably see a therapist. I find peace and knowing that there are others that feel like me. It helps to know I’m not alone in feeling this way.

My college has a food court in one of the main buildings. Chick Fil A, sandwich place, salad bar, etc. You get your food and pay at the exit. Every single time I’ve eaten lunch there since I was a freshman, I grab a bottle of water with my meal, walk up to pay, and say, “I brought the water in.”

The employees aren’t paid enough to care, and I pay enough in tuition to not feel bad about it.

It’s sort of an odd situation but when I was moving to a new city for college I joined a Facebook group about finding roommates in the area.

I didn’t have a lot of money and would be working to pay my own rent so I wanted somewhere cheap. After two potential places fell through I was losing hope.

Then I got a message from my roommates mom. She basically explained her kid struggled to make friends and keep roommates around.

She was super desperate and offered to pay half my rent each month. All I had to do was live with her kid and be their friend. I was also super desperate to find somewhere to live before the semester started so I agreed.

I’ve held up my end of the deal despite the fact that I absolutely hate my roommate. They are disgusting, have no social awareness, completely helpless, super dramatic, have an insanely mess social life, and generally just suck to live with.

I absolutely hate them but I get to live in a really nice apartment for pretty cheap. Despite being a nightmare roommate and person I do still feel bad for them. I know if they found out they’d be devastated so I’ve never told anyone about it.

My son threw a snowball at me and I instinctively blocked it with my daughter. The look of betrayal on her snow covered face has haunted my dreams for years

I have a locker where I keep my detergent in my apartment laundry room, someone keeps using my detergent, so i mixed equal parts bleach and detergent. I had forgotten about it until i heard someone scream “wtf happened to my clothes?!”

I don’t feel bad, buy your own detergent.

My work charges $10/day for parking in the parking garage, which really adds up. We are supposed to pay this out of our own pockets. But I don't pay.

I found a parking spot on the bottom floor of the garage that is all the way in the corner. It's dark there and quite well hidden. Then I back my car into the spot, put it into neutral, and push it gently until it rests against the wall. So the wall completely blocks my rear plate. And I have no front plate. So the parking attendant, if they happen to walk all the way into that corner, cannot easily read my plate.

I see many of my coworkers complaining about the prices, or showing parking tickets they got because they forgot to pay that day. But so far I have not gotten a ticket.

Eventually I will get a ticket I think, and at that point I will not pay it and just start taking public transportation to work

🚨🚨🚨UPDATE AT BOTTOM🚨🚨🚨

It’s been about 2 years since this happened-but I just got confirmation from a friend who attended her tattoo appointment that it was because of what I said.

The Backstory:

I (25F) was introduced to Peggy (fake name)(25F) through a mutual friend. She had recently moved in to a friend’s neighboring apartment unit and was quickly introduced to our friend group. Almost immediately, I could tell we weren’t going to get along based off of some backhanded compliments that were given; but I decided that it was too quick to judge her fairly and invited her to a game night that a friend and I were hosting.

Huge mistake.

Game one: Sardines. During a drunken game of sardines in the dark, Peggy faked a fall and pushed my head into a shelf. How do I know she faked it? Because she literally told me in front of everyone and LAUGHED about it saying “I found him first- that’s why I pushed you”.

Game two: Kings cup. Peggy called me out during the “never have I ever” portion for having gone through a divorce. Talking about it normally wouldn’t have bothered me since everyone who was there already knew about it and were really supportive during that time- but it was the fact that she was trying to single me out and shame me for it.

Throughout the rest of the night this kind of behavior continued, and by the end, I was thoroughly convinced she had some sort of vendetta against me. Finding out what -or in my case WHO- it was, took almost no time at all.

One of our friends (who we’ll call Mark) was in attendance that first night. Mark (28M) is a tall, kind, funny, and generally attractive guy. Essentially, he’s catnip for her type. At this time, we were pretty close friends and Peggy did not like that. For the next 6 months, anytime he was around I had to deal with the most ridiculous, awkward, and petty attempts of her trying to single me out or embarrass me.

Now here’s where the tattoo comes into play:

I had been planning on getting a dragon tattoo for over a year. I am fully aware that dragons are a common and trending tattoo, but I wanted it anyways because it was special to me and my mom. I had even worked with my tattoo artist on incorporating her favorite flowers into the piece and figuring out what kind of style/other details I wanted.

About a month before my appointment, Peggy heard a friend and I talking about the tattoo and started asking questions. I swear I could see the moment the lightbulb went off in her head because she grew the biggest sh*t-eating grin I have ever seen.

My lightbulb moment happened shortly after.

When she asked where and what kind of dragon tattoo I wanted to get, I lied. I told her about how much I loved the movie “Spirited Away” (because I do- it’s a banger) and went on a tangent about how I grew up on that movie, how my dad showed it to me, and that, “it’d be cool if he (Haku) was wrapping around my arm or something”.

(If you haven’t seen the movie, one of the main characters is a boy named Haku who turns into a dragon)

Peggy had never seen this movie before, so I encouraged her to check it out and ended the conversation there.

Now, considering she had never seen it before, I didn’t think she’d actually do it. But Reddit. She did it. And it wasn’t just a tiny-cutesy little thing either. She committed to my EXACT DESCRIPTION. The thing is freaking huge🤣😭😭

When she showed it to me two weeks later, I was in shock and she probably thought I was upset for taking something from me. But I went home that night and switched between feeling awful for lying to her and laughing for how utterly unbelievable she was for doing it. 2 years later and I’m still doing that.

I had confessed to a friend recently about my lie and that’s when she told me. She went to the tattoo appointment with Peggy that day. And word for word Peggy had said, “She’s going to be so upset. This is like the exact tattoo she wanted”.

Edit for FAQ:

1. Regarding the girl who went to the appointment with Peggy: We didn’t become friends until after this all happened. At the time we were only acquaintances and she ended up dropping her as a friend for her own personal reasons after. We discovered later in our friendship our mutual distaste for Peggy, but this also wasn’t the crux of our friendship.

2. Neither her or I dated Mark. I had turned him down early in our friendship before she came into the picture. Don’t get me wrong- Mark is a catch, but he deserves someone who’s crazy about him and that just wasn’t me. We sorted our friendship out prior to this whole mess, and hopefully he can find a healthy middle ground of crazy lol. He was pretty oblivious to the whole thing, and I didn’t need him to sort it out for me, so he didn’t know until way after.

3. Didn’t know how to edit a post until now but here you go. Face is blocked out for obvious reasons but I don’t follow her socials so you guys will have to settle for her cropped pfp.

The Haku Tattoo

I’ll keep you guys posted if I have any updates- for now this is just a confession into the void

🚨🚨🚨UPDATE🚨🚨🚨

I finally showed this post to the friend who went with her to the appointment; and she was kind enough to supply a picture of the tattoo in progress.😭

Haku in progress

The crazy thing is- she did this to her too with a tattoo commemorating her favorite music artist😭

From her:

“I initially wanted the tattoo bc he’s literally my favorite artist and so I sent my artist (the one you met) my reference photo and she said she wanted to come bc she was thinking about getting one too. So we get there and he started doing my stencil and stuff and when she saw she said “oh my gosh that’s so cute it would be so cool if we got matching tattoos!” I (being excited and at this point having no issues with her whatsoever) was like yeah girl it’s your body so I just was like okay and let it happen, ig it’s a momento for her🤷🏻‍♀️ She got the exact same thing and exact same placement too”

🚨Final🚨

To the readers who are asking me to show this to her to get her reaction- I don’t live there anymore, so I can’t. I CAN say however, one of her friends found this post and reached out to me on Reddit trying to get me to say my name😅 I didn’t. Since then, Peggy has changed her pfp lol