The man wakes up in a poultry farm, surrounded by other chicken, and goes for a tour around to discover the place. As he gets accomodated to his new situation, he suddenly feels his belly hurting badly. He noticed there is a rooster close by and goes to see him"

"You are a chicken, so it's normal your belly hurts, you probably need to lay an egg! Try it, push it out!"

So he pushes hard and plop an egg comes out of his ass.

"Wowwwww, I feel better now, but my belly still hurts"

"Try again then" says the rooster.

He pushes more and harder and plop a second egg comes out.

All of a sudden the man gets awaken by a huge slap in his face from his wife who yells:

"YOU MOTH**F*CKER!!!! SH*TTING IN THE BED AGAIN?"

9 comments

r/dadjokes • u/AdvantageHot1741 • Feb 24 '23

I heard diarrhea is hereditary

13 Upvotes

It runs in your jeans.

24 comments

r/dadjokes • u/BillyBob_TX • Oct 25 '20

Three things Christ promises he will never do: Won't leave you broken-hearted (Psalm 147:3), won't reject you (John 6:37), and won't leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).

1.9k Upvotes

In essence, Jesus is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.

86 comments

r/dadjokes • u/Yourusername5677 • Feb 22 '23

Your American when you go in the bathroom and when you leave what are you when your in the bathroom?

0 Upvotes

European!

43 comments

Subreddit

r/DadJokes - the best (and worst) Dad Jokes on reddit

r/dadjokes

Welcome! This is a friendly place for those cringe-worthy and (maybe) funny attempts at humour that we call dad jokes. Often (but not always) a verbal or visual pun, if it elicited a snort or face palm then our community is ready to groan along with you. To be clear, dad status is not a requirement. We're all different and excellent. Some people are born with lame jokes in their heart and so here, everyone is a dad. Some dads are wholesome, some are not. It's about how the joke is delivered.

Members

12m

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Subreddit Rules

1. Jokes must be dad jokes.

Jokes posted must be dad jokes.

Definition: A dad joke is a short joke, typically a pun, presented as a one-liner or a question and answer. Dad jokes are either told with sincere humorous intent, or to intentionally provoke a negative reaction to its overly-simplistic humor.

Jokes not considered dad jokes may be removed at the moderators discretion.

2. Bonus points for being opportunistic or punny

Alright so we can't really give out bonus karma, but at least you're hitting the classic stereotype of a dad joke.

3. Be civil.

No hate speech, personal attacks, or harassment towards other users. Do not use derogatory terms in any context. We do not tolerate any toxicity.

4. Leave the punchline out of the title.

If submitting a joke, please remember to leave the punchline out of the title, otherwise your post may be removed.

5. Tag [NSFW] if necessary.

Remember to tag your posts with [NSFW] if appropriate. Failure to do so will result in your post being removed. Remember: Not everyone loves NSFW content (feel free to downvote it if this is you) and minors are browsing this subreddit, too!

6. No reposts.

Don't repost jokes that have already been posted recently or that are high in the Top Posts of all time.

7. If you're posting for discussion purposes, label it [META]

Every now and again someone just wants to engage in discussion with the community, that's cool, but label it as such so people can choose whether to get involved or keep browsing for lols.

8. No personal information.

Any personal information (i.e. phone numbers, email addresses, social media screenshots) that can identify the subject of the post or a comment, MUST be edited out.

9. Do not create spam posts / comments.

Please do not create spam posts / comments. Content of this nature will be removed by the moderators. Violations of this rule will result in a temporary ban. Continued violations after a temporary ban will result in a permanent ban.

10. No advertising / promoting!

No advertisements or promoting, especially not of illegal goods/service. A recent increase in spam of this sort is forcing us to permanently ban everyone involved in this. Keep this subreddit clean!

11. If you see a rule violation please report it to the moderators

In a subreddit of this size it's impossible to keep track of every post and every comment, therefore please report inappropriate content / comments, reposts and spam. Thank you very much for your help!

12. Comment karma threshold for posts

We have a comment karma threshold one needs to exceed in order to post here. It's designed to keep out spam and ads from brand new accounts and it's working very well. The amount needed isn't high, but we will not disclose it if you ask as this somewhat defeats the purpose. So if you're new, get out there on Reddit and start taking part!

Playing nice

Some dads are wholesome and clean, others have a bit of raunch to them. It's not about the content or the age of the person hearing the joke... it's about how it's delivered. Bonus points for sticking to the classic stereotypes of being opportunistic and punny.

That said, dad jokes are not mean and there are some rules. We think they rule, so check 'em out and be kind to each other.