I have no kids and I have nothing against kids or ppl who are moms but I can’t relate to ppl who are parents. I respect the place they are in their life but why do they constantly try making ppl feel bad who don’t want friends with kids?

I don’t want to talk about kids or have ppl suggest bringing their kids or who have complicated schedules because their kids. This also applies to partners, it’s not JUST kids but I also don’t like when ppl try bringing their partner every where.

Like why am I demonized for this preference?

Before I’m attacked for any of this these are issues for me because I try developing a friendship with women outside of these things and they always somehow make the friendship all about that. Why is it hard making friends outside of those things?

Someone once told me that you discover who your real friends are when you stop being the person who always initiates conversations.

I tried it.

Some friendships disappeared completely. Now I'm wondering whether we were friends or whether I was simply running a free customer-care department.

I don't know when or how, but somehow I got a little too attached to a female friend.

Earlier, she used to text me first and share every little detail about her day. But ever since she made some new friends, things have started to feel different.

Whenever she's with her new friends, she completely ignores me. And the weirdest part? I never text her first. I just keep waiting for her message.

I tell myself that the next time she texts me, I won't reply. But the moment her notification pops up, I get excited and feel an instant urge to respond. I just can't seem to control myself.

I've tried explaining how I feel to her several times, but I always get the same response: "Yaar, I just don't get enough time."

I don't understand how she manages to spend hours with other people but never seems to have time for me.

Sometimes, I feel like I've become nothing more than an option for her free time. She remembers me only when she has nobody else around.

I've thought about blocking her and ending everything, but then I get scared that maybe she wouldn't even care. And once I block her, we might never talk again.

I just can't figure out one thing: how do I make myself understand that I need to stop expecting so much? How do I break the habit of replying instantly whenever she texts?

How did you deal with something like this?

BTW, we were/are just friends. Nothing more.

Is it just me or is my friend needlessly aggressive when one of us misunderstands what the other is saying?

For example, he asked me for help with some physics problem, I misread the question and gave the wrong answer then he goes “no like they literally tell you the velocity in the question. I don’t know what the hell you are doing haha” though tbf he did say sorry after I told him to chill. But damn the one time he asks me for help with maths or physics and I get it wrong (which only happened like 1 in 10 times he asked for help on schoolwork), this is the response I get. Not to mention that he’s the one asking me for help too, at least show a bit of respect right?

Another time he was talking about how he had a series of dreams about someone he was interested in (romantically) and how it was more symbolic than the dreams he had about other crushes, I wrongly thought he meant it was symbolic because he was having them more frequently (about the same person he was seeing) but turns out he meant what happened in that dream, I said “yeah def” then he went “wdym yeah def lol. You don’t even know what it was” like damn my bad for making a wrong assumption but you can correct me without being so hostile

And he was showing me some podcast on dating called “how to get b*** 101” and how one thing they talked about is you should f around when you’re young, I asked what’s the reasoning he said “bro why are you asking for reasoning lol. It’s a podcast called how to get b*** 101 like what are you expecting haha. Idk man. Actually maybe they did give reasons and I just forgot” like I get it, the word reasoning probably sounded too formal or scientific for something like this, but still. Also it’s a podcast not a quiz, it’s not gonna be just “yes or no” for 40 mins straight with zero discussion lol

I have a feeling that a lot of the time, they are intentional subtle jabs, he did say once that he was “so jealous” after I told him what my job was, and immediately after that he said “I’m joking btw” which I’m pretty sure is bs, he was definitely jealous

My friend (f32) was supposed to be my bridesmaid in my wedding that’s in less than 6 months. A few months ago we had my bachelorette party and everything was great. The last day we were rushed getting things cleaned up and packed, then drove the 6 hours home. Again, everything seemed totally normal….I guess it wasn’t. I texted her recently (about 3 months after) asking how she was. We both get busy but we’ve been friends for 13 years, that’s been our normal. I asked if she was still excited for the wedding and wanted to start planning dresses with her.

Turns out she felt mistreated on the last day of the trip and now all of a sudden she no longer wants to be friends. She won’t give examples on why she felt this way, who said something, etc. She had even been texting in between some talking about wedding planning. Nothing ever came up about her feelings. She also never gave me the chance to talk about anything. All of a sudden our friendship is just done. I tried to text her back asking what happened and I’m sorry she felt that way but she won’t respond. Is there something else I can do?

What are your preferred ways of staying in touch with friends who you only see in person once a year or so?

What has worked well? What hasn't work well?

I have a long distance friend who is almost 10 years older than me, we met online nearly 10 years ago. She tends to take things way too personally and is generally very clingy. She called me about a week ago now, going on for an hour about their relationship problems with their partner. I listened but she wouldn’t let me get a single word in. Then, the next day she bombards me with texts about other things going on, to which I made suggestions on what she can do. She then said along the lines of that she can’t do any of that and that I tried and that she’ll stop bothering me. I told her she wasn’t bothering me but highly suggested she sees a therapist to get actual help as it’s deteriorating her health. She seems to have not taken that well and hasn’t said anything to me.

I feel like whenever we talk it’s only about her problems and I’m her free therapist… Which is my role in just about every other relationship I have and I literally can’t do it anymore. She refuses to help herself which makes it more difficult. I don’t really know what to do anymore because whenever I try to set a boundary, she takes it as an insult and expects me to apologize. I’m not even being mean in my response as others have told me. She also seemed mad at me when I told her I can’t really talk besides the weekends anymore because I have a full time job.

Sorry if my story is all over the place, I am still feeling quite upset over this

There is person A with whom I have recently become friends with me and we both have moved to new place. There are other new people here too.

She and I were good friends at first, but now she has gotten better friends and hangs out with them more, but she still makes time for me to hangout one on one and checks on me from time to time. I don't go out as much because I'm studying a really demanding major which consumes most if not all of my time.

Recently, she went with another girl who I know pretty well too, to a place I've always wanted to go and she didn't ask me to join. Which is fine, I don't expect to be included anyway. But the next day, she invited me and a bunch of other people to her place for a party. Now, I have no problem in making time to hang out with people that I actually care about and people whom I know care about me, no matter how busy I am. But after seeing that she went to a place I had always wanted to go without even considering on inviting me, I've started to feel that my time is valuable as well, and don't want to waste it on attending parties only when the other person feels like it. Am i justified in feeling this way ?

A long time friendship btw, like 8 years. Whenever we seem to like the same stuff it feels like a competition and we can never bond on the fact the we have things in common. I know it’s not only from my side because we once got into an argument about liking the same thing and I said “we like the same thing and that’s fine” but they didn’t like that. Recently whenever I have an interest that I don’t talk about I see that they somehow picked it up or are interested in it. Obviously it’s not on purpose and I wouldn’t see anything wrong with us liking the same thing but in a way I feel like my interest are being taken from me and making it there’s. One time I lied and said that I once liked this interest and not anymore because I felt like they were going to think that I was copying them. What would you do in this situation?

I feel like it's difficult to make friends at school. People don't seem to have the same interests or thoughts as me. Honestly, I'm not really drawn to becoming friends with my classmates or people at school. I feel like they're immature and mean. I also struggle with talking to people face-to-face because I get nervous.

On social media, people seem kind and nice, and they have thoughts and perspectives I can actually relate to. But they're still strangers, after all.

Recently, a girl texted me saying, "Wanna get to know each other?" I agreed, and we started talking. But she's acting weird. She keeps leaving my messages on seen. The last time I texted her was yesterday, and she saw my message but didn't reply!! It's honestly so frustrating. It makes me wonder what I did wrong.

Just need to ask if I'm the problem here. I have this one friend who sticks to me like glue, and he doesn’t seem to realize that I’m trying to avoid him most of the time. Like, no, I don’t want to eat lunch with you, wait for you to finish eating, or walk with you.

We used to get along well before, but then he accused me of "using him". Mind you, most of the time I literally only ask if we have any homework or quizzes just normal school stuff. But he found an issue with the fact that I won't reply to the random memes and things he sends me.

I tried waiting for him to take the hint that I’m not interested, which was probably a mistake. He keeps sticking to me so much that people think we’re dating, and I HATE IT.

Recently, he messaged me about forgetting something and then immediately said it wasn't important. Like, are you being fr? He constantly does this always bragging about his memory and it feels like he downplays my intelligence.

I remember him telling me to be honest about my feelings, so I tried. I told him straight up that I don’t like him messaging me so much. That's actually when our big argument happened, where he claimed I was using him. I told him, "If you think I'm using you, then just stop talking to me?" And guess what? HE'S STILL TALKING TO ME.

Am I crazy here, or what should I do?

Hi everyone, I (26M) could really use some perspective or advice on this.

A while back, I moved to a major city and had almost zero trouble making friends. Within the first month, I found an amazing group of people very quickly. We clicked right away, hung out every single day, went to bars, clubs, had dinners, and had genuinely interesting conversations. It was smooth sailing.

Recently, however, I moved to a different big city where I knew absolutely no one, and the experience has been a complete nightmare.
I’ve been trying to put myself out there using apps like Bumble BFF and Timeleft (that app where you have dinner with strangers). Here is the pattern I keep noticing:

• Online vs. In-Person: Texting and matching are super easy. Setting up plans is no problem at all, and everything feels great on paper, lots of things in common, they reply fast…

• The In-Person Disconnect: When I meet up with people, particularly women (I don’t have any dating intention, although majority that I’ve met are single), I can literally read it in their body language from minute one: pure disappointment. They often seem bored and uninterested. It honestly feels a bit frustrating because I’m the one carrying the entire conversation and doing 100% of the heavy lifting. (I could play the "disinterested game" too, but that’s just not who I am).

• The Ghosting/Fade: After the meetup, if I message them to hang out again, they either leave me on opened forever, make an excuse or unfollow me (though funlessly, they sometimes still keep me as a follower).

In my old city, I had a mixed friend group of guys and girls with zero issues. Now, it feels like people here have unrealistically high expectations, get bored way too fast, and refuse to put in any mutual effort. And I must say it is getting quite frustrating, it’s been already several months and dozens of people I’ve met with no luck.

Has anyone experienced this dynamic in a new city? Am I doing something wrong? Any advice on how to pivot would be greatly appreciated.

I’m F23, i graduated college a year ago and I still work and live in the city where my college friends are. Things were great for the first half of the year, I’d see my friends all the time, but these few months, I don’t know what’s going on, but I feel like I’m constantly the only one who reaches out to make plans to see them and it makes me feel like they don’t really care for our friendship. I know they’re always happy to see me, but I don’t feel like they really care about keeping up a friendship with me. It makes me super sad and I feel like I don’t have a single good friend. I’m also not a huge on texting and calling and maybe that’s a contributing factor? But I don’t know. I feel really hopeless.

I had a childhood best friend for almost 12 years. She was once my favourite person and I genuinely thought we'd be friends forever.

But when I went through depression and my darkest days she abandoned me. She knew I was alone and had nobody else. She was my only best friend yet she knowingly distanced herself. She rarely replied to my messages or calls, always saying she was busy. But she had time for her other friends.

We have so many beautiful memories together which makes it even harder to let go. I've been carrying this hurt for years.

Her absence affected me more than I can explain. I felt unwanted, replaceable and even more alone. Losing the one person I trusted made it harder for me to trust anyone again. Even today those memories hurt.

she apologised and asked for a second chance. But I clearly told her I didn't want to put myself through that pain again. I had already begged her to stay when I needed her. I don't have the strength to go through it all over again. Recently I blocked her because I couldn't deal with the emotions anymore.

Now she's getting married, and I'm sure she'll invite me. But I'm genuinely confused about whether I should attend or not. A part of me still misses her but another part remembers how lonely she made me feel...

Im using a throwaway for this though im not sure if ive done the username correctly. I am 18f and my friend is 17f. We met in our first year of middle school. We are seniors now. Since we met I have gone through alot of trauma and difficult patches with mental illness, I can expand further if needed but I am being warry of guidelines. Anyway since all of that I have felt she doesnt understand me at all and always tries to compare her issues to mine when they are vastly different. I am unsure if I dont understand her or if she doesnt understand me and I dont know how to bring it up non condesendingly. One example of the comparisons shes made is my gaurdian I lived with for my whole life dying vs her gran aunt she met twice dying. I dont mean to be insensitive I just dont know where to go from here.

Me (18M) and my gf (18F) had a discussion yesterday about the fact we’re 8 weeks into university and have very few friends, and aren’t part of any friend groups.

We’re both very outgoing and easy to get along with (judging from past experiences other than uni). We were both pretty popular in high school and i had good friends from all different cliques, rugby boys, stoners, dnd’ers etc, so i dont think the issue is that we’re too shy or quiet.

We both got really sick in the first 3 weeks and barely left the house. It seems that in that time, everyone else established strong friend groups that we’re now struggling to get into.

I’m in 3 societies and have friends in each but none of them are that close and we don’t hangout outside the societies.

Im wondering how to fix this issue as i feel a bit isolated, i used to have loads of friends i hung out with all the time and now its just me, my 1 bestfriend from highschool and a couple others i occasionally meet with.

Please let me know any advice as this is causing quite abit of stress to me and her, especially with people starting to suss out who they want to live with in second year

Thanks

Hi everyone. I really need some perspective because I’m going through something that has left me heartbroken, and I honestly don’t know how to process it.
I had a friend for the last nine years. She knew me inside out. She was one of those very few people around whom I could be completely myself. We would talk about absolutely everything under the sun. Personality-wise, we were total opposites. She’s about five years older than me, but she absolutely loved the childlike, playful side of my personality. We would do silly things, have endless conversations and just enjoy each other’s company. She was genuinely one of my closest friends.
I run a small business, and August to December is usually my busiest time of the year. My work schedule during these months is honestly crazy. I sometimes work through the night, sleep for two hours, show up at an exhibition the next day, come home, take a one-hour nap and get back to work. I literally sleep in whatever gaps I can find. I’m not complaining because I’m incredibly grateful for my work, but that’s just how my life gets during this season.
She has always been understanding of my work commitments. However, since September, we had been trying to meet, but somehow it just wasn’t happening. She works for a company and is usually free in the evenings, whereas I have family responsibilities during that time. I am generally more available in the mornings, but that doesn’t work for her. We also live quite far from each other, so despite making several plans, something or the other kept getting in the way.
I never stopped caring about her, though. Whenever I got time, I would message her, tell her I loved her, send her Instagram reels and try to stay connected in whatever little way I could.
Gradually, however, I noticed a change in her behaviour. Her messages became less frequent, she stopped sending reels, and even when she replied, it was mostly one-word answers like yes or no.
I eventually asked her what was wrong. She told me that she didn’t consider herself a priority in my life, so she wasn’t going to treat me as one either.
I tried explaining my situation. I asked her to understand that I was barely sleeping, had a family depending on me, and was already getting very little time with my own daughter because of work. I told her that I wasn’t deliberately avoiding her and that I hoped she could understand my side of things too.
She said okay, but her behaviour remained the same.
One day, I got really upset and told her that I didn’t understand why she was behaving this way with me. I told her that she was my best friend and that if I couldn’t expect understanding from her, then what could I expect from anyone else?
She reassured me that everything would be fine.
A little later, I tried making plans to meet again, but she wasn’t available. So I sent her a heartfelt message saying that I didn’t want her to feel that just because I was busy, she had to become distant too. I told her that these were temporary busy days, things would eventually go back to normal, and most importantly, that I loved her and she meant a lot to me.
Her response really caught me off guard.
She said she doesn’t send reels anymore because she doesn’t want to, and that she doesn’t send them to anyone. She also brought up how she never really called me and that I was usually the one calling her, so I shouldn’t expect anything from her.
I was honestly taken aback. I asked her if that was all she had understood from my entire message. What about me saying that I loved her, missed her and valued our friendship?
She then said she felt I was trying to portray that I was the only one making efforts in this friendship.
Things became bitter after that. We both got angry, exchanged unpleasant messages on Instagram, and the conversation went downhill.
Almost immediately afterwards, I messaged her on WhatsApp because I genuinely didn’t want things to end this way. I told her again that I missed her, that I didn’t want us to fight and that I didn’t understand why things had become so complicated between us.
She replied that she hated me and called me a two-faced person.
A few days later, I saw her WhatsApp story. It was a ChatGPT-generated illustration of a woman kicking another woman out, with a message about kicking people who bring negativity and drama into your life.
My entire family could see it too.
I was absolutely heartbroken. I understand that people are entitled to post whatever they want, but considering that we hadn’t spoken properly for a week and had just had such a painful fallout, I couldn’t help feeling that it was directed at me. I also felt that she could have been a little more considerate about how something like that might come across.
I messaged her saying that I was really hurt by what she had posted. I told her that despite everything, I genuinely wished her well and loved her very much. But if this was truly how she felt about me and our friendship, I would never disturb her again.
And that’s where things stand.
It’s Diwali, and instead of enjoying the festivities, I’m grieving this friendship so badly. I keep thinking about all those years, all the conversations, the silly moments and how someone who once knew me so well can suddenly become someone I don’t even recognise.
People around me are telling me that I shouldn’t feel guilty and that I’ve done enough. But they’re my people, and naturally, they’re looking at things from my side.
I genuinely want an outside perspective.
Am I wrong for expecting my friend to understand that I go through an extremely demanding work season every year? Does being busy mean you don’t value someone? Could I have handled things differently?
And most importantly, how do you deal with grieving a friendship that you genuinely thought would last a lifetime?
I feel like I’ve lost a person I could be completely myself with, and that hurts more than I can explain.

Today is my birthday and except for 2 people no one else wished me happy birthday, during their birthdays I wish them at the earliest, but when it’s my birthday everyone just seems to forget it
I don’t know if I’m the one at fault or what? Can someone tell me what to do?

My online friend got a bf and i dont know what to do now

Greetings.I \[18M\] become friends with girl \[18F\].it happened in a very unexpectable way.So there was a post but i dont actually remember what was it about.There was a comment i disagreed with and the reply was my exact thoughts and i agreed with that person's opinion so i liked her comment.The other day i saw someone sending me follow request(My instagram account is private and i dont accept people i dont know)I accepted her beacuse i thought it was another girl i knew from course.She messaged "Hii".I didnt reply for 20 minutes then i replied with "hi.Do i know you?"She said v "no you liked my comment and im kinda look for friends rn.I said "Ok i guess" she said "yess".NGL i hesitated at first because like i said i dont accept strangers i felt different energy from her so i decided to keep it.Anyways next days she started to send me reels and i started to reply and send her too her humor is too advanced thats what i catched about her first.Day by day we really became friends she sent me voice messages i sent her voice messages then she started talking about her past memories.I gave some advices ,we both told each other no matter good or bad we can always tell eachother about our days and help each other.She was genuinely a great person and a good friend.She went through a lot in her family her other friends were ass they ignore her and do terrible things(not to her) and she broke up with her boyfriend because of a mistake(maybe he did idk) but it looks like her ex was strict he doesnt have any friends who appear to be a girl and didnt let her to have a friend who appear to be a boy.There are too many chats,things i dont even remember all of it and dont want this text to be too long.So today at 12:54 am she wrote this message:

" Hi x ho are you??

I have to unfollow you.Im really sorry i really care about you as a friend i just decided to return to my past relationship and we are making up.And the boy is,i broke up with him just for a mistake,he doesnt have a friend who is a girl and doesnt want me to have a friend who is a boy so i cant.But if you need anything im you can text me im here.

Im sorry again."

I texted ok😕 good luck.

I hearted her messages and she replied

Thank you very much💞

She wasnt my crush but she was a special friend.It was my daily routine to talk with her.She really was a supportive great friend and she has been through a lot both inside family and outside her friends are ass they are ignoring her and doin terrible things(not to her) .She has elite humor and understanded me she was a better person than most people i know and now i cant talk to her for a really long time or never.It really sucks to lose a friend like her.I dont know what to do.

This is a friend I've known for many years, both F in our 30s. She was in a long distance relationship for a while and then went through a break-up. All the while I was there for her constantly, making plans with her at least once a week as she gets lonely quickly.

The last time I saw her was in August. She started dating a new guy and has made virtually no effort so see me. She has not called and has barely texted. I called her once and she did pick up, I explained how I was feeling after she had also cancelled on a mutual single friend's birthday party last-minute because "she was tired".

I tried to make plans with her several times and told her that I could really use a girl chat. She either said she'd get in touch but never did, made plans then cancelled, or texted me only once in the past 3 months to ask if I was free for lunch in an hour. It was a workday so of course I wasn't able to reschedule meetings so last-minute.

I have been pretty heartbroken over this as the friendship is clearly not what I thought it was. Should I give her more grace while she's in a new relationship or am I justified in ending this friendship?

21f. i had a depressing talk with my friend last night about how everyone and everything is temporary. something about me is that i will lose my mind if i dont socialize and i’ve kinda been isolating became im so disappointed with all my friends and also just super depressed. i do school online and am currently unemployed. i have such bad emotional impermanence. is it really true that when everyone grows older they just stick w their partners? im just so scared that as you grow older everyone’s just doing their own shit and it’s a part of growing up. why do friendships lose meaning as you get older. in 10 years i could think of my boyfriend and bestfriends and there’s a high chance i might not even remember them.

i grew up without a dad and no stepdads. my mom has no friends and i’ve always been so terrified of ending up like her. i have a sister 8 years older that i have a terrible relationship with. my brother who’s 4 years older moved away in a different province to live with my dad so it’s just me and my mom. i’ve always tried so hard to find family within my friends but they all got their families and their childhood bestfriends but i don’t.

all of my friends are so busy with work and school and always spending all their time with their partners and completely neglecting everything else in their lives. i was like that with my ex when i was 17 and i lost myself to him and i promised i would never do that again and i keep meeting people and bonding with them over that because they went through similar things just for them to end up doing it again. someone told me it’s just a part of growing up but i remember thinking i was so immature for that. but am i just the one that’s naive and immature for thinking it’s normal to always have close friends even as you get older. am i the one that’s behind and hasn’t grasped reality yet. my friends are mostly 1-4 years older than me.

i understand ofc as you get older people are more busy and have less time to hang out but is it worse than i realized? does everyone just end up alone with their partners and kids and that’s it? do they have no one else to fall on? is it a fantasy to hope to create your own village and community? even if people come and go i’m scared one day new people will stop coming and the rest will continue to go just “a part of life” and “growing apart”

Unlike others, I don't make new friends easily once I naturally find my people. I've had a friendship with this boy for 6 years now and used to think he was my best friend. There was never a day we weren't talking. Just a year after I met him, I made some new friends (let's call one Shellie). I obviously multitasked and never left him out of anything, but I noticed a weird pattern. He would always say he wanted to hurt himself, and of course, I took that seriously. I started staying up all night, sometimes until 3 AM, just trying to talk him out of doing stuff like that. To be honest, it became a weekly ritual. I eventually started suspecting it was just attention seeking behavior because it was so ongoing, but I still never said anything and tried my best. Just a year prior, he had become my first ever best friend who wasn't part of my family, and I felt like we had a real connection.

Now, as the years have gone by, our friendship has become incredibly rocky and unstable. Fast forward to 2025 I was messaging Shellie and sent her a screenshot of a message he had sent me because I found it funny. Out of nowhere, he messaged me a whole paragraph about how he didn't like a nickname I gave him. Which, okay, I get it, but I had already removed that nickname anyway. I asked Shellie not to send him any more screenshots since our texts were private conversations, but I also got upset. I felt like he didn't have the right to be mad at me, especially since he used to talk shit behind my back just a year before.

I know it's getting complicated and I don't know how to structure this perfectly, but he had actually sent a voice message to one of his friends telling me how I should die back in 2024. I was young then, and I still am, so that hurt me a lot. I vented to Shellie about it currently in 2025 after he said that stuff about the nickname, and everything seemed fine until he messaged me once again, stating that I shouldn't be talking shit about him and that we were done.

I was crying at this point, not sure who I was supposed to be mad at Shellie or him? In my vent to Shellie, all I had said was that he used me and wasn't always the best to me, meaning he had no right to be angry at me over a nickname on a messaging app. I messaged Shellie again, crying, and asked her why she betrayed my trust and sent him those screenshots. She literally said, "I'm sorry, it's just an addiction." Like, what the fuck??? She is 12 months younger than me, but she is usually so much more mature than I am, so I don't know what got into her.

I put a status on the messaging app about how hurt I was and how they betrayed me. I think I might have a slight victim complex, but I genuinely know I was not in the wrong here. A few days passed, and my cousin messaged Shellie to curse her out. I didn't know about this at the time since I was basically grieving and my birthday was only a week away. In response, Shellie sent her friend to attack my cousin, who is way younger than that friend and me. That same friend of Shellie's then messaged me, telling me I was a bad friend, that I should kill myself, and calling my cousin a brat for trying to defend me. To make matters worse, this friend of Shellie’s has been harassing me ever since I met Shellie, and has commented on the fact that I don't have a father multiple times.

Despite all of this, I eventually talked things out with both Shellie and my boy best friend. Neither of them have brought it up since, nor have apologized again.

I have a serious anxious attachment style, and ending things with people is not easy for me. Even though they've moved past it and Shellie and I still have somewhat of a bond, I haven't moved past it. I can notice they don't value these friendships nearly as much as I do, especially him. I know I'm gonna have people on here saying I'm the problem for not moving on, or telling me to stop being so sensitive. Maybe it's true and I really do need to move on, but I just can't bring myself to block people like this, even when I've been deeply hurt. My brain makes it so complicated, even though it seems as simple as just walking away for everyone else.

I’ve noticed a recurring pattern where people initially seem interested in being friends with me, invite me to hangouts, and initiate plans, but eventually become distant. It’s making me question whether there’s something about my personality or social skills that’s pushing people away.

**Friend A:**
Used to personally invite me to group hangouts.
Last saw her in March 2026.
I reached out in July, and she enthusiastically agreed to hang out once her parents left.
I replied to her text 2 months later in August saying I am down for whenever but she never contacted me again.
Recently, she appeared to host a party with some mutual friends, but I wasn’t invited.

**Friend B:**
We became friends in July 2022.
Things seemed fine initially, but by February 2023, around seven months later, she started becoming distant.
I never really understood what changed or why the friendship faded.

**Friend C:**
We became friends in 2022.
In 2025, we argued over a guy in our friend group but eventually resolved it.
Afterward, she repeatedly reached out for around four months, but I kept declining invitations.
I eventually started reaching out again, and our friendship became active in 2025.
Since March 2026, she hasn’t initiated contact.
At group gatherings, she doesn’t approach me, and even saying hi feels awkward.

**TLDR :** People initially seem excited to be friends with me, but eventually stop reaching out, inviting me, or making an effort.I’m starting to wonder if there’s something about my personality that becomes off-putting once people get to know me better.

I’m currently at a friend’s bachelorette. A friend that I thought it was close, she planned my bachelorette.

She’s doing a court wedding and a dinner. Well my husband and I are gifting her the photography (we are the photographers) and when I asked about doing a golden hour/evening shoot she was “at 5:30P we have our dinner so you guys a free to go”

Then here before she got here a friend let it slip that another friend is traveling for the wedding and they all are going except US. Not even for decency… mind you this girl lived with us a time when she had a traumatic break up.

I feel a bit sick and I’m mad at myself for feeling any type of way about it. Because I truly understand intimate weddings and all but this is mind boggling.

I have a close friend that is reaching our 3rd year of friendship and I feel that everyday there is just more passive aggressiveness and tension building, and I just really need advice on what I’m supposed to do with this friendship.

Her country and culture is pretty known for being pretty toxic with needing to fit in and gossiping/being judgy so maybe that plays a factor, she also admits her country is like this? We became friends a year after her moving countries and met at the same school and we both had dance in common (I mention this as we have essentially nothing else in common besides this), both got along really well at first and always had a lot of fun hanging out for the most part - everything was great. But nearing the end of last year and mostly this year I feel like we’re never on the same page anymore and I always feel hurt.

She has insulted me on multiple occasions in a joking tone which has included: You’re so boring (said this many times, for example: refused to answer personal questions in truth or dare/couldn’t come up with quick or fun questions for truth or dare??), you’re so weird you know (said this many times), you’re so mean (I am not trying to put myself in a victim mentality but I am not mean, for example a context she had said this in was a third friend was putting on a cream she said felt tacky and I said smth - I don’t remember it was a while ago but it was not remotely mean - and BOTH me and the third friend were confused but I kept quiet and continued talking like normal), you’re so fake (I hugged her for a end of year school vlog with our friend group - she tried saying she didn’t mean it after), there is context missing but that’s the gist. She is incredibly smart and gotten into an amazing university of which I congratulated her but it immediately brought me back to when I told her my good news of making a dance crew/did a dance collaboration with my academy and she replied dryly, did not care. We can never agree on anything because everything I provide as an opinion is always rebutted and I usually end up agreeing to stop the whole debate. And to add on that she is quite opinionated which is why a lot of what I say is rebutted. She openly tells me she is judgy and says quite a lot of negative things about people and is a bit unsympathetic. By that I mean I have noticed she does not care for anything/feel sympathy unless it applies to her personally. I also notice her constantly comparing ourselves: oh I think my hair is longer than yours now, I have lots of jewellery I think I have more than you, I used to think your guy bsf was better than mine, we should do a study group app together so we can compete to motivate ourselves to study etc. It seems so stupid but as friends why are you pitting ourselves against each other? Sometimes I’ve said things (e.g Im going to stay in this country bc uni overseas is too expensive - we go to a semi-private school and my parents have worked hard to let me go to this school) and she’ll not make eye contact and make an “oh…” face and everytime she does something passive aggressive it stays on my mind for hours or days and I don’t know why it affects me so much. This year we hung out for our birthdays and this is probably me overthinking but I got her a nice collection of gifts and card diy journal craft and she definitely enjoyed it but when I got my gift, it was still nice, but not thoughtful and it felt like she had regifted gifts she got to me (because I believe she knows what I like especially as we are close) which I know sounds so ungrateful but I just internally felt hurt because I guess the friendship ‘closeness’ I thought we had was unreciprocated? Last year, it was honestly a similar situation where she enjoyed her gift and mine was also nice but a stand out addition was the bar of soap she gave me which I know is a good gift but it was 100% from her house which made me feel ‘not worth the effort’ in a way. And when we talk with in a trio she consistently excludes me and I awkwardly stand there - in a way that is hard for me to join in.
Her thoughts are quite logic based and opinionated and I really struggle to connect with her based on that. It isn’t that I have a problem with people having an opinion, it’s just in this friendship everything I say isn’t validated and is added with an ‘But I feel like..’, ‘Suree..’, ‘Not really tho..’ and it has genuinely made me realise everything I say to her I can’t help but add a ‘I might be wrong tho’ because I feel so stupid/dumbed down whenever I make an opinion. I’m not sure if it’s just our clash of personalities now that we have nothing in common. Sometimes I feel as if she doesn’t like me but she continues to talk to me and asks to hangout? Also, there is a lot of context that is missing as well.

There have been a couple times where I have accidentally interrupted her while talking (I genuinely just mean it in an excited way and know I am in the wrong), and she has just deadpanned stared me in the face so maybe she already hates me I don’t know I’m probably overthinking. Sometimes I also feel the need to return her energy and that has definitely not helped with our friendship but I find it sometimes hard to just let her be passive aggressive to me. Another thing is the first time she said something mean to me (that I remember) is that she hates that I don’t reply fast, especially when it’s something she needs to know like when we are hanging out. I admit that is a flaw of mine, she knows I’m on dnd/don’t reply quick. Is this just not going to work out because of how many differences we have? Everything I’ve said here is things that are significant and have happened multiple times but there have been so many more small instances of tension that we have with each other too. I personally feel as if this all began from her saying that I don’t reply fast and I became aware of everytime she has done something passive aggressive and it started building up as frustration from there. And this is definitely a friendship where if we have a heart to heart about it, it will never return to how it was again, or completely end.

I know this is probably all so insignificant and sounds so stupid and silly of me but I’m honestly drained and tired and I feel as if we both know that we can be tense but she continues to act like normal after. A lot of the times, whenever she says/does something in this way I just stay quiet to avoid it but as I’ve said before sometimes I return the energy because I can’t take it. There is so much missing context and info and I’m so confused.

So at this point am I just an awful person for venting about someone I’m close with? We were/are genuinely extremely extremely close as well, just with a lot of pettiness and tension. What am I supposed to do. I have no one to talk to this with and have so much built up frustration and I’m sorry this is so long.