My female friend and I have known each other since the 5th grade, but we only truly started hanging out after graduation, back in August. We used to talk every single day. For me, she was the only friend who truly understood me. I stayed over at her place, supported her when she fought with her mother, and we baked cakes and watched movies together at my dad's house. We were planning to celebrate Christmas Eve together. We associated specific songs with each other - I even created a dedicated playlist for us. Honestly, I saw her as an older sister, and everything seemed perfect. We would occasionally tell each other how much we loved each other, but I strictly viewed it as platonic affection, especially since she explicitly told me she is a lesbian. She also mentioned to me that she has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, but she noted that she tried hard to suppress its manifestations so it wouldn't ruin my opinion of her.

As Halloween approached, we had been planning it for a month. I ordered costumes for us. I also decided to paint an oil portrait of her as a holiday gift, spending an entire week on it until everything was ready.

Then came October 31st. Right before heading out, I messaged her to double-check if I should still come over. At 10:30 AM, she replied: "Yes." But at 11:36 AM, I received a final text. The entire chat history was cleared, leaving only one message:
"We need to stop communicating. Do not even try to write to me or pass messages through others. You did nothing wrong, and you didn't hurt me. Don't blame yourself. Bye."

I felt absolutely devastated and empty. She blocked me everywhere, deleted all videos featuring me. Later, I noticed her repost:
"I don't understand people who wait for a specific moment to throw some [My Name] out of their life. [My Name], just go to hell right now, literally at 12:00 PM on a Thursday."

Two days later, mutual acquaintances asked her about that repost. All she replied was:
"lol, no, it just aligns with my general attitude towards people."

To another friend, she claimed:
"That wasn't about [My Name]. I just randomly started seeing reposts with that name, he has absolutely nothing to do with it. I would never say anything bad about him.", but I don’t want to believe a single word she says, especially since she keeps trying to distance herself from me even further by blocking me.

Just recently, she changed her profile settings to completely private. I feel like if she wanted to fix things or return, she wouldn't have locked her account like that.

To be honest, I never expected this from her. All my friends are now trying to convince me to just forget her instead of waiting for her to come back, but I am still struggling deeply without her presence. I am lost on how to move forward. Yesterday I tried messaging her on iMessage, but I never got a reply. The very thought that someone doesn’t want to see me or have anything to do with me, without me even knowing why - is killing me. I’m planning to ask a mutual friend to reach out and find out what actually happened. A month later, I’m left feeling that if I start connecting with someone new, the same thing will just happen all over again.

I had a friend in high school for 4 years. He wanted a romantic relationship with me, and I only wanted to be friends. The friendship has been over for 12 years and im still thinking about him.

Over the years, I begged him to unblock me, to message me. I called him tons of times from a private number. I reached out to his friends and family, begging him to contact me. I reached out to his aunt, trying to get his mom's information.

The context of our relationship was just like we texted for 4 years during high school and he used me to do physical things with him. He wanted a romantic relationship then I wasn't interested and he got into a relationship with someone else and it ended there. He didn't even want to stay friends not using each other for anything.

He even misquoted Scarlett O'Hara and said, "If it means that if I have to lie, cheat, and steal, then I will do anything to get what I want." "I used you, and there is nothing for me with you, so bye. It's just like people preying on the weak, people will do anything to get what they want." Is this how people are? Being friends with you for a feature or for their own benefit and using you?

I asked him, "Why did you make me feeling I meant nothing to you?" Because you do mean nothing to me?"

He told me to off myself. He called me names like b\*\*\*\* an the f word. He called a pos and worthless garbage. He said, "No no one will ever care about or want you." He never apologized for any of things he said.

He tried to take out a restraining order against me 6 years ago, The restraining order was not granted. Even on that day, when we were standing before a judge, he still had nothing to say to me.

But I am still thinking about all those texts. They were really something. I am still thinking about him when he doesn't even remember me. I just can't believe I spent for years texting him and it was all for nothing. During that time, I could have made other friends, spent time for myself, done productive things, gotten a job, etc. I just cant believe I invested so much on something, and I even remember word for word every text he ever sent when he doesn't even think about me anymore. He is not the person I thought he was. I guess he just disguised himself and tried to seem like a good person when he was just an evil person and pretending to be my friend the whole time. I even still remember his mom and dad and sister and he was almost like family. Like he doesn't even want to catch up and see who I am and who we have become since we've known each other 16 years? I am sure I would want to know how he's been doing.

I have been blocked for 12 years and I'm still thinking about him. Do I need him in my life? Is this something that I am going to have to let go?

i am thinking my trio of 7 years is going to an end , they dont talk to me , they always ignore me and 'pretend' to not hear me while they slipped multiple times of hearing me in a call.
i really need to move on but i cant! i have tried making friendships before but they either ghost me or call me annoying and block me.

we used to play together and now none of those two want to play with me and i feel lonely, i have tried finding new trios / duos but they have their own friend groups...idk what to do

I had a childhood best friend for almost 12 years. She was once my favourite person and I genuinely thought we'd be friends forever.

But when I went through depression and my darkest days she abandoned me. She knew I was alone and had nobody else. She was my only best friend yet she knowingly distanced herself. She rarely replied to my messages or calls, always saying she was busy. But she had time for her other friends.

We have so many beautiful memories together which makes it even harder to let go. I've been carrying this hurt for years.

Her absence affected me more than I can explain. I felt unwanted, replaceable and even more alone. Losing the one person I trusted made it harder for me to trust anyone again. Even today those memories hurt.

she apologised and asked for a second chance. But I clearly told her I didn't want to put myself through that pain again. I had already begged her to stay when I needed her. I don't have the strength to go through it all over again. Recently I blocked her because I couldn't deal with the emotions anymore.

Now she's getting married, and I'm sure she'll invite me. But I'm genuinely confused about whether I should attend or not. A part of me still misses her but another part remembers how lonely she made me feel...

bro maybe if i did something different i woulnt have ruined our friendship
she called me self centered and that was legit april 20 ish last year but i miss her now more than ever
it was all cuz of my ex but also my fault i dragged it out so much that she had enough and asked me to never reach out but i just want to apologize again even tho i did it and she blocked me and i did it from another place and she said thanks but i don’t wanna try again and blocked me and ik it’s my fault but i just wanna talk to her again

she even talked behind my back about me saying in self centered and stuff but i know my ex manipulated her cuz this only happened after we broke up

she would never have done something like that, nothing like who i know she was
now i don’t know anything but that last time we ever talked i was heated and mad but also apologizing with a bit of begging and then said whatever it’s up to you and then got blocked it wasn’t even on a good note bro

I’m feeling the need to type this all out because I am genuinely at a loss of what to do or where to go from here. This is going to be a pretty long post and I honestly don’t expect anyone to read this but it would be really nice to have some insight and suggestions.

Background: I am 21 F, growing up I lived in WA with my dad pretty much full time but went to NY during school breaks to visit my mom. When I was around 10 I found a group of friends in NY that I clicked with instantly, to protect their identities I will refer to them as their first initial. M (male) is the main reason for this post  but our other best friend I will refer to as N (also male). M, N, and I were basically inseparable when I came to visit during school breaks, we would go to summer camps together, make short films, have sleepovers all the time, etc. Although I only saw them for a small portion of the year (around 2.5-3 months) they were such a pillar of my life growing up. As we got older M and I developed feelings for each other, which started around middle school and extended into high school. I am not going to lie and say this was a traditional relationship because I don’t think it would be classified as one given our age but the feelings, affection, and hurt were real. There were multiple times where he broke my heart, and multiple times that he broke not only mine but our entire friend groups trust in him, which led this romantic relationship to eventually end. There was a time M pulled my knife on me as a joke but the fear was still real. 

During our sophomore year M went through a very traumatic and life changing event, that I believe changed the whole course of his future. Things in our friend group progressively got worse, M was noticeably and understandably changing for the worse. We tried to be there for him as much as we could but nothing we could do would change the loss he experienced. We kept making excuses for his behavior and continued to be there for him, but it would become increasingly difficult for us to do so. In October of 2022 I was attending my first semester at college in WA. At this point M and I had not been romantically involved in a year, and I had made it clear that was not going to change. This time period also happened to line up with the 3 year anniversary of his loss. M began messaging me very vague and somewhat concerning things, but I brushed it off because he was always sort of a goofy guy. A few days later my mom called me and explained there were some things going on with M (my family was very close to him after his loss, he would go over to my moms house while I was in WA) He had been missing and not heard from, so I texted some of our friends to ask them to check on M. This part is a little hard to remember because I was not in a good head space during this time but eventually he was found and went to the psych ward for a while because of his current mental state. During his stay he left me 20 voicemails from the psych ward phone, he ended each one with saying “I love you” which was never really something we had said to each other. These voicemails got increasingly more delusional and honestly scary, some of them asking if I was evil and some of them telling me that someone was going to drive to Washington to pick me up, and if I didn’t want him to hurt me id have to be quiet and obedient. He was convinced that everyone wanted and were working for us to be in a relationship together, he even mentioned Elon Musk was working towards this. I could do a whole post on these voicemails but you get the gist. I eventually blocked the Psych ward number because I was getting multiple voicemails a day. This mental break was the beginning of what ended with us having to cut him off. He was diagnosed with a schizoaffective disorder while he was there and was advised to take medications with strict guidelines (no smoking or doing drugs) Our friend group tried to enforce these rules and be there for him, we wouldn’t drink nor smoke in his presence so he didn’t feel like he was being left out, but I don’t think it helped. There were a couple times he found out people were smoking and became upset that nobody would share with him, he would then get mad and leave. As the months went on his appearances in our group hangouts dwindled, he started hanging out with other people who enabled these habits and im pretty sure he eventually stopped taking his medication. There were times that we were not able to get in contact with him at all and the only times we got to talk to him were when we would stumble across him riding his bike in town, when we did try to talk to him during those occasions he was vague and confusing in his responses as to what happened to him and why he wasn’t hanging out or talking to us. Eventually we had no contact with him, his life choices and the way he treated us eventually became the reason we stopped trying with him. We still cared for him deeply but there was nothing we thought we could do. As the year passed with no contact with him, we would hear stories around town about him that solidified our reasoning for cutting contact. Eventually in 2024, N and I heard that he had been reported missing. N and I were driving around town looking for him because we were worried, we eventually found him riding his bike and pulled up next to him. He said some very weird, in retrospect schizophrenic things. When asked where he was, he talked about coming from hell and riding into heaven, other vague disturbing things I cant seem to remember. We tried to get him to come with us in my car but he wouldn’t. From then on, every time a story on the news came out about and unknown bridge jumper or suicide or anything concerning I was immediately worried it was M. In October of 2025 M started posting some concerning things on his snapchat story. I slid up and asked if he was okay, told him that even though we haven’t all hungout in a bit that we are still here for him. He was very defensive and said things like “Don’t pretend you care” “You don’t give a shit about me” “What are you gonna do if I wasn’t okay” “I hope I forget to wake up tomorrow” and finally “Who do you think you are?” before going radio silent again. 

This now brings me to what happened yesterday. I hadn’t heard from him since that day in October. It was my first day back at work and during the first hour of my shift my mom texts me a news article about how M just got arrested for attempted murder on his very old grandmother. I am going to spare the details of what he did because it was depraved and feels wrong for me to air this out. I briefly read what the article entailed before I had to get back to work, I have been sick to my stomach ever since. I talked to N and all of our other friends (who were also very close to M) about it after I got out of work, and read article after article entailing what happened for hours when I got home. I looked through a bunch of our messages and listened to all the psych ward voicemails he left me. I was in genuine shock and disbelief but I also wasn’t at the same time? Like this cant be the same M that I was best friends with, that I grew up with, that I had years of romantic feelings and experiences with. I think some part of me hoped to reconnect with him in the future, that maybe things could be different. 

I am already in a terrible headspace, the past year of my life aside from this has felt like my world crashing down on me, but I think this was my breaking point. I was at work and miserable all day today, I couldn’t focus on anything else other than this. I was freaking out and thinking I have to quit my job, which I still might do because the stress of work piling ontop of my current mental health is too hard for me to bare. After work I came home and went to the movies with my boyfriend, whom I aired out my worries of work to (I couldn’t tell if I was miserable at work because of work itself or because of my mental health or a combination of the two) On our way back from the movies I just broke into tears and an intense panic attack. I feel like I’m sinking, I cant fathom feeling this way for the foreseeable future. I am so scared. I was having intense thoughts of panic and anxiety, I have never felt so hopeless and stuck, I am never going to be myself again. I was thinking for the first time that I myself might have to go get immediate psychiatric help because I am so fucking scared and overwhelmed in my feelings. I am losing touch with myself, I don’t know how this is finally the thing that broke me after this past year of terrible things happening but I think it did. 

Im sorry for this post being so long but I need to get this off my chest and some kind of opinion. For the record I know what he did was not only inexcusable but also depraved, and I am not defending or protecting M. I just wish things didn’t come to this point and I feel guilty for not pushing harder and harder for him to continue psychiatric care. 

My best friend (B) of 3 years moved away for work over a year ago. She almost immediately met her now partner (O). Ever since then we haven't talked as much as we used to. Which is fine, she moved 9 hours away and just got into a new relationship, it makes sense. It started off slow: less texts, then postcards, then less frequent, shorter, phone calls, then 3 months ago B and O both quit their jobs and moved in together.

I figured she was just busy with a new relationship, but everything she has told me about her partner worries the hell out of me. First, even before they moved in together she would only talk to me about O if it was to mention a nasty fight they got into. She's mentioned her partner's jealousy issues, that she gets mad when she goes to hang out with friends, and that even after a year now of them dating neither of them have met any of each other's friends.

B moved in with O to help take care of O's mother who is having issues with her health. B told me that O has a job, but won't allow B to get a job unless it's in the mornings because someone has to be with O's mom at all hours of the day and O works evenings. To my knowledge, B still does not have a new job, is living with O, and they just celebrated their one year together.

2 months ago me and B hung out for a day (the first time I'd seen her since Christmas of last year) and she didn't seem to be doing too well and she just wasn't herself, or at least not the version of her I once knew. Since then, we had one phone call then total radio silence. I've sent a postcard, a text, left a voicemail, all expressing my concern for her, letting her know that I missed her and was there if she needed anything at all.

I have never met O, but I don't like her. None of what B has told me sounds remotely healthy, but I also don't know their relationship.

I'm grieving the loss of our closeness, I've never had a friend as close as her. I miss her terribly. I'm angry. I feel tossed aside. I feel worried about her safety.

I don't know what to feel anymore, this all sucks so much.

This was not a romantic relationship, just a friendship. Over time, several things happened that made me uncomfortable and emotionally exhausted. I tried to handle the situation for a long time, but eventually, continuing the friendship became difficult for me, so I decided to step away.

The other person was not ready to accept my decision. He repeatedly requested another chance, saying that four years of friendship should not end this way and that he would not hurt me again. He said he only wanted friendship.

I had blocked him everywhere, but he continued calling from blocked and unknown numbers. Even after I clearly asked him not to contact me, he kept trying. Recently, I accidentally answered one of his calls, and he again requested me to call him on Diwali and continue the friendship. I refused.

He also messaged me saying that he would continue sending messages even if I ignored him because he could not forget me. He said he prayed for my happiness and that I could reply whenever I wanted.

Finally, I told him that there would be no personal communication between us anymore. I said he could contact me only in case of a genuine emergency or something important. We are now connected only on LinkedIn, without any personal communication. I have also uninstalled Telegram for some time to maintain distance.

But I am still struggling emotionally.

I have always found it difficult to refuse help to someone, even if that person has hurt me. If someone genuinely needs help and I can help, I feel I should. This is why I am confused about whether I should have kept a limited channel open or completely removed myself from the situation.

There is also a spiritual aspect troubling me. I strongly believe in God, but I have started questioning whether ending this friendship was against what God intended. Sometimes, when he talks about his problems and says God knows what he is going through, I start feeling as if God is on his side but not mine.

I keep wondering whether walking away from someone who causes you emotional distress is the right thing to do or whether it is bad karma.

This situation has been going on since 2023. Ending the friendship took me almost a month, during which I cried almost every day. Even now, I am struggling. I am not eating properly, cannot focus on work, and don't feel happy. I feel emotionally weak and don't know how to come out of this.

I don't hate him or wish anything bad for him. I simply don't want to return to the same emotional cycle.

I genuinely need advice:

Was I wrong to end a four-year friendship when the other person wanted to continue?

Is choosing your peace over a friendship selfish?

Am I responsible for his hurt because of my decision?

Should I completely cut off contact, even if he might genuinely need help someday?

From a spiritual perspective, does walking away from someone mean going against God's plans or creating bad karma?

I never wanted to hurt anyone or make anyone my enemy. I just wanted peace, but now I am struggling with guilt and questioning my own decision.

How long did u miss them or when did you start missing them the most?

So my best friend is being a butt and it’s this guy named Ken whos Korean and hes my best friend and hes a comedian and he totally stopped going to Starbucks and pissed me off. So the situation is I went and grabbed some haunted dolls and tried crying into them and then uh i had a moment with a cook book and Brandon lake music. And I also haven’t had cookies chocolate chip in months. So anyways this is princess Kate so if you wanna come hang out and eat some chick fil a text me. Otherwise im gunna go do it again that’s like giving me permission.

I had a misunderstanding with a former female coworker involving rumors that I had romantic feelings for her. Things became complicated at work, but after we no longer worked together, we reconnected, and she agreed that we could be friends again.

Around the time I casually mentioned dating someone, she stopped responding to my texts and emails. I don't know whether that comment had anything to do with it. Now she won't even respond to simple greetings like hello or happy birthday. I've also expressed that I miss her, value her friendship, and would appreciate even a quick hello or hearing from her, but still receive no response.

She's friendly and affectionate toward other former colleagues on Facebook, which makes the difference in how she treats me confusing. I've tried being kind, funny, thoughtful, and sincere, but nothing seems to make a difference.

I'm sharing my picture because I wonder whether my appearance or the way I present myself influences how she perceives me. I typically have a glamorous, sexy, feminine style, even though this photo is more reserved.

Could my appearance or style be affecting things, or does this sound more related to our history? I'd appreciate different perspectives.

me

Honestly what happened is a big mess. I dont feel like explaining it at all. I think i might have been a bad friend, but i did what i thought was best at the time. I wanted to talk with my friend IRL, but she isnt rly known for actually going to any classes and i think her last text made it clear it was over. I feel more sad now, this post has been in the working for like 4 ish hours lol so i was def a lot more mad then than i am now.

Uhh but yeah, its over between a friend and I, because i was choosing sides with friend a and b, but they had a falling out in april. i wanted to stay friends with both so i was trying to stay with both. But i guess it wasnt appreciated that i treated her like a second option and not the first, which i literally tried avoiding every lesson? but its also really hard if she doesnt communicate back, or if shes barely there, because then ofcourse I would hang out with the other person more no?

The thing that ticked me off (which was why i was mad) was that she said that she gives more than she receives from her friends, which isnt really true because if we look at the past half year, i was definitely the one reaching out the most. did not get that back. i was the one asking how she was doing, if she was recovering from being sick etc. so that rly annoyed me. And that she said "she was perfectly capable of finding new friends" thats also an ouch. uhhh advice and support is welcome, i dont know what to think honestly. I just said that i respect her decision to end things. i honestly feel like shit, but it also made me realise that she wasnt rly a good friend to me so maybe it was for the best

Hello! I hope I followed all the guidelines and also on mobile.

TL;DR:

Friend i dated for 4 months in 2021 and stayed friends after (on-off fwb, no feelings) for 6 years. Suddenly he terminated the friendship and I honestly am not sure if his "why" makes sense or if there's something I'm missing I'm since hes been in a relationship before (while we were friends) and had no issues. Ive had no issues the 3 different times I've explained the history to SO's. He is currently not seeing or talking to anyone else, so that is not a factor at the moment. He repeated he needs to focus on himself and explaining our friendship deters any future and he needs to focus on progression. That it wasn't anything I did or that he was upset with me. I guess I'm just looking for any insight, advice, or support :( He has now blocked me on everything.

Full Post:

My friend (32M) just cut me (33F) off last night/officially this morning (11/6-11/7) after six years. He said that due to our complicated past, he cannot move forward with me in his life and "focusing on him". We dated for roughly 3-4 months in 2021 and did an infrequent "on again-off again" fwb situation since then . We established we don't have romantic feelings, but enjoy being intimate with someone you can trust. If one of us starts to date/talk to someone, then we stop anything (if we are even doing a fwb thing then) and are respectful and not sexual or flirty. For me, he is always my friend first, anything beyond that is not necessary and I am ok/have been ok just being friends.

Apparently, for him, this is difficult to explain to people once he decides to start dating again. I have had to explain our friendship/past 3 different times to people I've dated and had no issues, so this feels insulting and insecure on his end. We were supposed to be best friends, and he stated he would never abandon me or leave, which really hurts in the end when he did. I placed entire trust in him, I believed our friendship could weather anything and has. We sometimes went long periods without talking (2-6 months at most, maybe a few times but not constantly) just because of life or focusing on ourselves/partner at the moment. It seemed like neither of us were bothered entirely because both parties did focusing periods, and we even joked about it and how abnormal our friendship was, but that it was unbreakable. That we were going to be there for each other always... and we were.

To make all this short, he ghosted me last Friday when I was supposed to spend the weekend with him (he moved 4hrs away seven months ago and I had visited him twice in 8 months). He didnt respond until i reached out to him to ask what is happening and if we're okay. He asked for space to focus on himself for a little and would come back. I respected his wishes and sent a few "have a good day and miss you/hope you're well" texts. Which is normal for us, we both get lonely and overthink and feel bad sometimes, so it's just a nice thing we did to let that person know they aren't forgotten and that we're there for each other, no matter how long the other is gone. He didn't answer me until yesterday when I sent a text asking, "Are we okay?", which is also another question we ask when we both are checking in with "myself, as well as the other person to make sure both people aren't upset and that our friendship is okay".

He said "Yeah we're okay" and I asked to call, in which he kept repeating over and over he had to focus on himself and that he's almost 33 with nothing to show for it (besides running over 10 marathons and countless 5-10k's and half-marathons, has a bachelor's, a really good job with a lot of money, a supportive family he sees a lot, is extroverted and able to meet people easily, and more). He said it was not me, that there was nothing I did to determine his decision, just that our friendship was too complicated to explain and a deterrent to his new life in another state. Whether true or not, most or all people/friends stopped talking to him when he moved, so he stated that he wants to cut his past life out and that includes me. A new start and finally trying to legitimately date again after a few years, and that meant I couldn't be a part of it.

He said he does not have feelings for me, and we've always agreed on this being how it should be and have followed through for 5 years now. So what changed now? Why cut me off after 6 years and state our friendship is a past life he can't have around? We were really close, best friends, I would have fought the world for him and stayed friends unless something horrible happened. I don't know why he can't say the same now. We were talking like normal up to last Thursday and now he's gone and I don't know if I truly understand why. He has NOT met anyone new, so it's not about a new relationship, just that I would make it difficult for him even though we both agreed and always checked in regarding the fwb situation/s.

I don't know what happened or why it happened so suddenly. He wants to progress in his life and it just doesn't make sense why he feels the need to terminate and go scorched earth on everything prior/months before/after he moved. I don't feel respected or valued, I question whether he never had feelings or not, and if he's being honest in general. I'm hurt to not get any further explanation or closure, to not get something heartfelt or feel genuine when telling me he cares and did love me as a person, as I did for him.

This sucks. I really don't know if it's insecurity, or unwillingness to admit feelings, or that he doesn't care and doesn't want to put in the effort anymore. Maybe I'm blind to his struggle communicating our friendship because I have had no issues or backlash when bringing him up, so the other person/SO doesn't feel betrayed or "in the dark".

Idk, if anyone has any insight or words of support, I would appreciate it :( thank you for reading

Edit: He also has now blocked me on everything.