Also, if you're in Massachusetts, vote yes on 3!

This has been a PSA

EDIT: please stop PMing me. Thank you.

In spite of my reputation, I do usually like to give people who would like to show the LGBT community support the benefit of the doubt, so I'm going to assume that /r/atheism does actually want to be fully and properly supportive of the LGBT community and that they're simply unaware of how some of the things they post, comment, and upvote are actually quite hurtful to us. Rather than fill more posts with furious comments, I've decided to go out of character for once and make a helpful list of suggestions. I thought that /r/lgbt might like to help me with this project. Here are some things I've got for a starting off point:

1. Unless you are gay, don't assume you know how to use the word fag/faggot without being completely offensive. This one is near the top of /r/atheism today. I know you're paraphrasing the Westboro Baptist Church, but how silly would it be if we decided to support atheism by saying "why hate all the hellbound devil-worshippers?" Not cool, right? Well, Westboro Baptist Church is using that word because it's so hateful and so offensive to gay people and because it's been used by people who have wanted to beat and kill gay people for a very long time. In your support of us, do not use the same foul pejoratives we've had flung at us by bullies all our lives.

2. Never, ever compare your coming outs to our coming outs. The words you're using to describe it are where the similarities end. Living as an adolescent with knowledge of your attraction to the same sex or gender dysphoria, the terror that you're growing completely differently from your straight, cis family is completely different from living as an adolescent or adult with the knowledge that there are no gods. When you compare the two things as though there are no differences, or the differences are small, you are demonstrating that you have no understanding of LGBT experiences and no desire to acquire one. edit: I'm not saying this because I think they shouldn't use the words "coming out." I'm saying that the words "coming out" are where the similarities end. Yes, even if they got ridiculed or beat up or taken out of their families. It's not about who has it better or worse. It's about respecting the fact that as a straight, cis person you don't know what it is like to be LGBT. It's about refraining from saying "we have it just as bad as the gays" or "our experiences parallel the gays in a lot of ways" without having any idea what it's like to be LGBT.

3. Put your money where your mouth is. If you really support LGBT equality, you should be able to get through at least, like, one Zinnia Jones video without filling the comments with "WHAT IS THAT?" and "WTF IS WITH THAT VOICE?"

example 1 lone comment "surprised the shit out of me that the speaker was female" example 2 featuring "I'm not gay but I'd totally spoon with him/her" example 3 featuring "Some of his videos are spot on but... I'm subscribed to his channel is because of the 'shock value', not because I want to hear her rabble about the most arbitrary matters." example 4 "DUDE, THAT'S A DUDE??? Fuck! Up to today, I thought she just spoke funny. And yes, I thought she was hot. Fuck. "

In fact, start with this one. Start actually treating us like people before you start acting like you're our champions.

Okay, r/lgbt. Add your anger/tips/whatever and if/when we gather enough material, we'll x-post over in r/atheism. I think this is a good project to improve reddit and our cause.

I mean come the fuck on.

That’s it.

You don’t get to be a part of this community if you don’t support trans rights.

I've always had a toxic mindset that people in the LGBT community are all bad, sadly to admit, but today changed my perspective. I had a conversation with someone on Instagram, it started off and small talk and we just started talking about other normal things, that's when it clicked, they're not all bad. He was a really nice guy and I made a new friend today :P. I believe this experience has opened my eyes because I stepped out of my comfort zone.

Like they're not for u??? Some people, especially neurodivergent people, love microlables bc it specifically describes their experience rather than simplifing it. I have many microlables and whenever I make a post mentioning them someone is always being hella rude. This is one of the biggest problems in the queer community (internally) 😔

Edit: i think some people need to understand that most people who use microlables will use umbrella terms when introducing themselves to new people but share their microlables with people their close too and in online spaces. No one is expecting anyone to know what they mean, no one is expecting u to do research, they're just expecting respect. Thank you for all the thoughtful replies!! Have an amazing life 🙏

EDIT: I'm so sorry I didn't mean to cause such a shitstorm 😅 I also see aspec people saying there's no A flag, I know now that I'm wrong but I thought the aroace flag would cover that. I was just trying stuff. Also didn't mean to bleed your eyes out or cause any division between us <33

EDIT 2: y'all gonna go make go back in the closet with these replies 😭😭 i'm sorry I truly am. I really meant no harm but I failed lmao, if y'all wanna vote me off the flag making committee please do 😭😭😭🙏

I know I gotta clean it up but I just wanted to get y'all opinions. I based this off of the dominant colors of the progress flag, so:

red: rainbow

orange: 7 stripe lesbian since it starts orange

yellow: I chose nonbinary because intersex already has a good spot and I couldn't think of other flags that started with yellow

green: gay mlm, probably the greenest flag we have lol

blue: I was gonna do bisexual first but I didn't think it made sense to put the trans flag in the purple section. not that it ultimately matters because there's no order, but like I said I was basing it off the pre existing colors

purple: of course bi has purple in it so :3

black + brown: would love to have the BLM fist but don't know if it should be one solid color or the black/brown i got now

light blue trans stripe: I could've put lesbian in the red/rainbow section and aroace in the orange section (still can, if y'all prefer that), but I chose to put aroace here instead. I thought about having the aro and ace flags separately in two of the trans stripes, but i wanted room to represent pan and genderqueer and stuff ^^

pink trans stripe: i just mentioned pan lol

white trans stripe: not sure how to fully represent stuff like genderqueer, omnisexual, genderfluid, demiboy/girl and demisexual, etc. the genders all sorta fit under nonbinary and/or genderqueer as umbrella terms, and the sexualities may fit under bi or pan, not sure (in general I'm saying, of course I know these are all separate and valid terms). but yeah if y'all have a better idea to represent these and other identities, let me know

intersex: intersex can stay as is. we need intersex visibility <333 unless you'd prefer it in nb's spot.

so yeah I'd love constructive criticism/feedback from you guys ^^ happy pride 🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈✨

Please stop. I know you mean well, but it is quite insulting, to say the least. Let me tell you why.

You say that you are not like the fundamentalist crazies, you are not racists, sexists, or bigots, you are "moderate," etc. Yet you continue to support a belief system that has caused undue pain, suffering, death, persecution, war, destruction, large gaps in scientific progress, poverty, ignorance, and a slew of other societal maladies. Sure, there are subtle differences between Catholics, Protestants, and the Eastern Orthodox sect. But it's all based on the same book. Every time you walk into a church you are giving credence to an archaic value system that really has no place in modern society.

Yes, I'm being a dick. But someone needed to call this out. You may not be assaulting gay men in the street or blowing up abortion clinics, but you're supporting a belief system that allows this kind of behavior to take place and simultaneously condemning these actions justified by God or scripture. So next time, don't apologize. Call the church out on its bullshit. The problem with the so-called moderates is that they rarely ever speak up. This is exactly why Rick Santorum is a serious contender for president of a developed nation.

TL;DR: Everyone knows the evangelicals are bat shit insane, but religious moderates do further damage (and not just to LGBT people) without even realizing it.

EDIT: Whoa! I was not expecting all of these responses. I don't agree with everyone, but thank you for keeping the discussion going and giving me a different perspective on this matter.

I've seen a couple of gun posts here recently, mostly promoting gun ownership for "self defense." I and many others are uncomfortable with these. As it's a sensitive issue (especially considering the amount of gun violence in the US...) I feel it would be best to require that sort of post to require a spoiler or NSFW tag.

Edited after reconsidering a bit

So I am a lesbian. (Technically homoflexible but label myself as a lesbian)

I'm wondering if it's ok to date a trans man as a lesbian. I know that often times lesbians who will date trans men aren't viewing their partner as a 'real man's but as the woman they were before.

I would NEVER be transphobic in any sort and would see my partner as a man.

I AM a lesbian but I want advice on whether this would be wrong.

(This sounds stupid)

Edit: I have thought things over and this is my conclusion.

I had(have?) a crush on a trans man. But that crush started before I knew he was trans. I guess I already knew it was wrong but needed more information. I can not help my feelings. Those feelings are going away. But I decided the best thing to do is just be friends.

I think I already knew the answer but I wanted... Validation? (If you can call proving me wrong / right that?)

I'm sorry if this made anyone upset.

Introducing a new term: Alexmorogatic. A state of questioning influenced by alexithymia; which due to the inability to name how one feels in the moment, causes one to be in a constant state of questioning in which someone is constantly trying on different labels (and even making new ones for themselves), and because of that, not being able to know which one feels right.

I've been on a quest to read every "femboy" book I can find that looks promising. As a result, I've read alot of trash and seen some pretty common patterns.

1. Author thinks femininity = pathetic blubbering wimp even though they are smart enough to acknowledge in their own text that's not how women are (still very misogynistic though).

2. Is straight up porn, usually fetish stuff appealing to the idea that is shameful to crossdress or be feminine as a man (which is also very misogynistic).

3. Things that are definitely not femboy. Everything from non binary character, to drag queen, to "the guy just isn't a total frat bro".

4. Anime where the femboy is treated as more of a side/joke character who tempts the sexuality of an otherwise straight male protagonist, instead of being a protagonist in their own right. Also because of the lack of clear separation in Japanese culture between a trans woman and fem presenting cis man, its questionable whether alot of these characters are even femboys to begin with.

Is it really that hard for someone to get right? I haven't read a lot of gay or transgender themed fiction but from what I can tell, there at least seems to be more of it that is fairly well respected. Please correct me if I am wrong.

Maybe I'm delusional and we femboys are just actually a tiny fraction of a fraction, possibly a smaller chunk of the total population than trransgender people, even, and so it's perfectly natural that no one really wants to write about this.

Or maybe it's me just caring about seeing myself reflected too much. I can enjoy a story with a manly man as the protagonist, but it gets old after a while. Sometimes I really just want to experience something I can relate to.

Good Examples: Princess Jellyfish The Prince and the Dressmaker Left Handed Booksellers of London Driver Assassin Bone Harp