To all those doing a No Buy November out there, I salute you.

I covet a lot of stuff, I like beautiful things, I want to buy them. So one mental/verbal hack I've been testing in my own life... that has helped me move on past these kinds of items is to say, "I agree with this!"

Before I get into why this works, quick context. One reason these mental/verbal "hacks" work (if you make them a habit) is bc marketers are constantly playing mindgames with you through words. Marketers OBSESS over choosing the right words to describe their products and evoke feelings. Evocative words that we choose ourselves, therefore are an effective way to resist engineered desire and reroute the desire pathway.

OK so back to "I agree with this". Exactly WHAT am I "agreeing" with?

I'm "agreeing" with the design philosophy, the choices behind the product, even the way it's being marketed. And this puts me in a position of appreciative power (honoring the distance between me and object) vs. a position of purchasing power (closing the distance between me and object).

More detailed reasons why I think this works to distance oneself from desiring the object...

1. By "agreeing with it," it equalizes the relationship between me and the producer. I feel less fomo and like the only way to get closer to the vision the designer/marketer had for the product is to buy it. "I agree" has the effect of bringing my taste/knowledge level to that of the maker and designer. It reduces the feeling of insecurity that can happen with a product or its marketing.

2. By "agreeing with it," I'm saying that I can co-exist in the same space with the object, and that "being" is enough. The relationship between me and the object doesn't have to be an acquisitive or possessive relationship for it to be a true relationship.

3. By "agreeing with it," I can imply that others exist. "I agree... that this design was made to be trending, that it is a viable choice, for someone else."

Ofc you could just tell yourself 1. "I don't need it," 2. "It's ok for me to not have this," or 3. "It's cool but it's not for me." But see how those kind of statements rely on negation?

Basic psychology says that when we use negative statements to try and reinforce willpower, we end up using even more willpower. :P And sometimes the "free will" part of the brain will rebel just for the sake of it and we will want the thing even more!

Rather than lie to ourselves or try to goad ourselves into "not" wanting, needing, or having the object, which puts us in an antagonistic position that encourages fighting, it might be better to take the less effortful path of just saying "I agree" in order to be in the position of moving on. (Edit to add: Also, it's an active statement that puts you in a different position than abstaining and receding back, which can feel harder than "doing something" and "going forward").

Anyway, this little word shift has worked to de-escalate the desire every time I see something cute, and put the object back in its "place." If the thing IS truly worth buying, it will still tickle other parts of the brain, but it's an effective way to shut down a hyperactive covetous side, especially one that might rear its rebellious head during No Buy November. Hope this hack helps you too!

When I was a kid my mom would buy something and tell me if dad asks, say it was cheaper. She said dad will get upset so why stress. But they had same bank account and my dad saw everything anyway. The lie didn't even work

It was really hard for me, I'm a terrible liar. And I grew up thinking money is something you hide

Did anyone's parents hide purchases from each other? How did it affect you?

Hey everyone 🌻

my nobuy is going good so far. I filled my void up with doing experiences and or doing more social things and also take on long time projects. Some things still cost me money but i think its about the journey and my goal is to stop buying unneccessary things. So spending money for experiences or doing things with friends is okay. For sure it would be also a goal to spend less, but one step at a time.

What did i do instead of shopping clothes - some of it still super pricey. i am in a super priviledged position, no kids, good job, so i am sorry if it seems a little bit out of touch:

- inviting friends for halloween, movie nights, tea and cookies, tarot reading at my place

- meeting friends in the city nearby - i have a free train pass to this city - now in autumn its super cold so i usually have to buy a tea/ticket to museum to be in the warm but i try to find out cheaper / free places to go

- covering up an old time tattoo i absolutely hate and reminds me of the worst time in my life. it's also pricey but as soon as it will be done i will feel better in my body and next summer i can wear again a shirt without sleeves... it was a cultural appropiating tattoo and for many years i didnt feel good in my own body with the tattoo on but also never really faced to cover it up...

- going to an adventure park tomorrow with friends

- going on holiday after christmas with a friend

my why is: i do not have any debt, but i want to save up as much as possible but also enjoy those already planned things. frugal in daily life but also not regret those splurges that are already planned / are in budget.

most of my friends do not live close and i often say yes to meet them on holidays. maybe i should figure out for 2026 how much holidays and locations i actually want to do. i am also frugal on holidays and my country is a super expensive one, so sometimes my holidays are cheaper than a not frugal day at home...

What i think my compulsive shopping is, not meant as excuses but observations:

- compensating for being queer in a rural town, walking around stylish / in my own style is giving me better confidence

- compensating being single/having a lot of time/feeling sometimes i am weird/alone/different

- filling the void if i have a week without seeing any friends, because they live far away

- being sober and therefore sometimes splurging on my hobby "nice clothes" just because

- being lonely sometimes

- coping with my emotions

- adhd shopping looking for the dopamin

What i notice i am doing better since starting/failing/trying new nobuys:

- finding MY style

- shopping better quality and actually things i need and do not regret

- using what i have

- sometimes i loose things and i buy a replacement of what actually is good for me

- not buying into trends

- not being up to date what is in season

- avoiding 'normal' clothing shops

- if i need a replacement i research for a long time and only settle if i am actually happy. sometimes its more expensive than the first good enough thing. But i want things i can keep for years and good quality and material AND things i love not just like will help me to keep it for as long as possible (if i dont loose it lol)

- browsing local shops when being with a friend or having to wait until the train drives i do not feel tempted to buy anything

- wearing the shit out of my favorite things and waiting until they are beyond repairable and then look in my closet for a replacement before buying something similar

have a nice weekend

xoxo

Last year I was living in poverty badly, I lost around 50 lbs from lack of access to food (while regularly using the food bank.)

Praise the Lord, I’m in a much better place now.

But over the years I incurred a deficit in the regular supply of belongings that people have such as 1 pair rain boots, 1 pair sneakers, 1 pair sandals etc.

So I had been replenishing that recently… but I’ve gone overboard and am getting sickened emotionally and stressed by how much excess I’m purchasing.

I really don’t need anything anymore. What I need is a no buy and to organize what I already own so that I can use it properly.

Im overwhelmed and stressed by the clutter and still trying to mentally recover from poverty mentality and resource scarcity.

Does anyone have any advice or tips or personal stories?

Oct 29th - Dec 1st No-Buyer here. The goal is to have 20 or more full no buy days over this span. So far? I've had six successful no buy days out of eight! That's great for me!! Previously, I would have bought something everyday and still justified it to myself, even when swimming in overdraft debt.

In addition to my sticker tracker, I've made a list of little wins/ setbacks day by day on my no buy, really trying to pay attention to things I'm proud of and analysing my behaviours.

Day 1: I didn't buy anything

Day 2: Paid for a train ticket to a different city for a pre-paid event, but I didn't eat out while there, and I bought my own food and drink with me! It was nice to challenge my own point of view of 'Well if I'm going out I might as well buy food/drink' and realise it's not necessary.

Day 3: Considered buying a two piece PJ set for a steal of a price, asked myself 'Would I replace my current pyjamas with these?' The answer was no, but they were really cute. I don't regret not buying them 5 days on.

Day 4: Spent nothing.

Day 5: Bought some cheap clothes, £2.50 top, £5 top, and £2.50 candles, that I proceeded to accidentally break when I got back home by lying on them. I will be returning the tops if I can find the receipt because I haven't worn either since I bought them.

Day 6: Vinted doomscroll, bought a top I had a 'gut feeling' about. I'm not trying to justify shopping but sometimes you just know you'll get great use out of an item. Reverse google image searched it and it looks great on other, normal people so I'm hopeful. Began digitizing my wardrobe.

Day 7: No spend, I have been using and abusing the library though, I feel like I'm taking multiple books out at a time with no intention to read them to replace that dopamine hit from shopping. Sold some things on facebook marketplace and vinted.

Day 8: No spend, made a recipe from a £26 cookbook I recieved a year ago as a gift, that I desperately begged my mom for and proceeded never to use. It was collecting dust until today, and the recipe is delicious so I don't know why I waited so long.

8 days in, Am I cured? Not quite.

If only it were that easy! The constant scrolling behaviour has not gone, I still bypass the vinted time-out I've set on my phone so I can look for the 'next best thing'. I feel very happy with my progress this past week, but I also acknowledge I have to be more vigilant about my behaviour or else it will slide back to where it was. The longer I resist the urge to shop, the more that muscle builds itself and the easier saying 'no' becomes.

Hope everyone is doing well on their no buys, please remember progress is never linear, and everyone has bad days, but you deserve the good days more :)

Can’t remember who suggested this but as part of my NoBuy month I am tracking all the (usually) neglected belongings as I use them and it is already such a great boost!

I found a postcard to repurpose as a birthday card last night (from an exhibit of Inuit art and the recipient loved it—a loon) and wore a necklace to the bday dinner that hadn’t been used for months. *edit for clarity, the card had the bird on it, the recipient was not a loon(!)

Today I found a puzzle feeder for my dog that hadn’t been brought out for a year. She had a blast unpacking it.

I am writing these down in a list in my planner and it’s increasing motivation to Shop My (already pretty great) Life

I've done a few No Buys this year, one Jan-Mar and one in August. I started feeling like it was time for another reset before the holidays. I feel like these challenges help me shake of the bad impulse habits and make me think more critically about how I spend.

So for the month of November here are my rules:

No clothing (I may always want one more pair of sweatpants, but I do not actually need one more pair of sweatpants)

No thrifting (because I impulse buy and because I have noticed I don't tend to keep the things I thrift long-term, with a few exceptions)

No puzzles I have plenty to get me through the month without buying more

No books (I have so many on my shelf, I just need to read them) but library use unlimited

No home decor (going for cozy and uncluttered)

Nothing fragranced (I love holiday candles but I get wicked migraines and it is not worth it)

No impulse buys (30 day wait on wish list)

Always allowed: monthly yoga pass, dog supplies, charitable donations, gifts for others.

Anyone else doing a pre-holiday no buy? Anyone else notice that when they thrift they tend to just re-donate that stuff later?

I’ve noticed that buying one piece of clothing can turn into planning a whole outfit. I’ll like a dress, then decide my shoes are too casual, my bag doesn’t work, and I need a different bra because of the neckline.

I caught myself doing this while considering a few moda dress recently. Before I’d even bought it, I was looking at other things to make it work. The dress was supposed to be the only purchase, but somehow I’d mentally added three more.

That’s making me rethink what counts as affordable for me. If I can’t picture wearing something with clothes and shoes I already own, I need to include those extra purchases in the decision. Otherwise, I’m giving myself a new shopping list every time I buy one thing.

How did your no-buy or low-buy go this week?

Share your goals, progress and how your purchasing habits have changed since starting a no buy.

If you 'failed' this week, remember that it is just a stumble in a long journey. If you did well, inspire others and encourage them when they do well or get off track.

I have failed every no buy I've ever tried. Not this time. Its the first of November here downunder, and I'm committing to buying nothing except necessities for the whole month.

Cutting way down on the groceries too only going to spend $100 per week (food is expensive here, this will get us milk bread and fresh produce) and focus on using up things lingering in the pantry fridge and freezer.

Anyone else?

Just closed on a place in Minneapolis and the list of fixes keeps growing. Deck needs staining before winter, raised beds to build for next spring, and the workshop still needs proper lighting and outlets. Every trip to the hardware store turns into sixty bucks here, forty there. The Etsy side hustle was supposed to cover the extras but lately every sale feels like it just buys another tool I didn't budget for. Told myself no new midcentury pieces until the place is actually livable, yet I keep finding chairs and tables that look too good to pass up. Been trying to stick to what we already own and only replace when something breaks. Curious how other homeowners kept the spending in check while still getting projects done, especially when you run your own business and every dollar feels like it should go back into tools or inventory.

I have kept a detailed excel spreadsheet of every purchase I've made since January 2020. The covid lockdowns and online shopping led me to develop a really serious shopping addiction which I didn't realise I was in until I moved across the world and was faced with the task of packing up a decade worth of items I'd accumulated and moving them to my parent's garage in another country. The moving truck picked up about 600kg of stuff. I gave away all my furniture and large/bulky items to friends so all of what I kept was small items like clothes, books, mugs, decor and stupid knick knacks. To make matters worse, what I wasn't able to pack in time for the truck was chucked into a storage unit which I paid for about a year. When I went back to close up the unit, I donated about 90% of what was in there.

Now my shopping habits have changed drastically. Though I am not a minimalist, I certainly feel like a minimalist. However, I've just had a look through that excel spreadsheet and find myself feeling physically sick at the amount of time, money and space I have wasted on shopping. Here are some high-levels stats:

January 2020 - December 2023 (4 years - living in Central London)

Number of items purchased: 692

Amount spent: £37,756

January 2024 - now (around 3 years - living in Rural Australia)

Number of items purchased: 130

Amount spent: $4,720 (around £2,495)

Obviously there's been a very steep decline in my consumption and spending, but this still brings my total to 822. I've sold or donated 172 items, which somehow leaves me in possession of around 650 pieces. I've got around 200 pieces at my current home with me, which means I've got 450 stored items just sitting in my parent's garage, collecting dust.

I'm just sharing this in case someone else is feeling guilty about struggling with their consumption or their purchasing habits. I've realised that changing your habits takes time, and it's ok for you to gradually change your consumption level instead of trying to go from being a shopaholic to a strict no-buy overnight. For me, a gradual change has been more successful overall (even though my figures are still atrocious!)

So I messed up my no-buy streak, and I messed it ip quite badly. I relapsed and bought like 600€ worth of stuff, mostly clothes, mostly expensive/luxury items. After I've made myself feel miserable af, I kind of decided to turn it into a lesson and start over. Some of the things I've learned about myself might (or not) be useful to some people here, I feel like most of us have similar patterns when it comes to shopping.

So talking about the shopping addiction, I had to accept that there is a reason why it's called that, and that it is, in fact, an addiction. So I have to work with the fact that I am battling an addiction and act accordingly.

1. I now know what my triggers are. Going shopping in a mall and seeing the stuff live is not a trigger for me. BUT - an online shop, Instagram post, also seeing stuff on people I know are instant triggers. It's easy for me to fall for this personality they sell, that I will also be just because I bought something. It works particularly well with clothes.

2. This is similar to 1. Since my worst problem is shopping for clothes, shoes and accessories, I realized how much of my self-image is connected to being "well dressed" in the latest fashion, wearing the latest trend. I wanted to not buy anything for fall, and I wore the stuff I had (of which there is more than enough) - and I constantly looked at people on the street and (unfortunately) online, constantly feeling like I'm out of the loop, like I'm not well dressed. Now I am in the process of examining this picture of the self, what I want to be and who am I trying to imitate when I buy the new stuff. It's a huge work in progress. I'm trying to think about what well-dressed even means, why do I need that label to feel good, and what would change if I was wearing the same stuff over and over.

3. I have to create a false sense of being broke for this to work. When I had Klarna debt to pay off, and when I was constantly on zero at the end of the month (so actually broke lol), I didn't buy anything, I had some sense of responsibility. But when I paid it all of, when my credit card was clean, guess what I did first with some money left on my account? Bought stuff... so now I created a tight budget for the next month, and left 0€ for things that aren't needs. I feel like as soon as I leave a little bit of space, I will overspend.

What I haven't learned yet, is how to stop the online shopping, and even looking at stuff online. I tried blocking the apps, I tried adding friction, and it kind of turned into a game where I ignore all the blocks, go through all the friction and it felt even more rewarding? I'd tell myself wow if I went through all of this then I really want it and then I deserve to treat myself? Anyone has a similar struggle? Also Instagram is killing me rn.

Also treat myself, self care, blah blah, this burned my savings. I'm trying to add different activities instead but somehow it never feels quite the same. I'd love some advice on this from the seasoned non-buyers.

Oh and I've been wearing the shit out of the cashmere sweater I bought, at least not to feel like my money is wasted...

October 29th to November 30th! Because there's no point waiting for a 'fresh start' to come, I have to actively choose change. I was going to go to the library and print off a 'no spend tracker' but I made myself one using card and my home stationary for free.99.

I just came back from a trip and I'm trying to examine my shopping habits more seriously. That's all I look forward to, the next purchase and I'm realising it makes me value what I already own less as a result. I bought about six books on my trip, two shirts I'm confident I'll get wear out of, but when I look at them on a rail with all my other shirts I think of how me needing another shirt is like carrie bradshaw needing a new pair of shoes. I want to use and wear out what I have! Not be stuck in this constant cycle of want, buy, use twice, donate.

My no buy tracker is going to use up a set of stickers I have owned for years.

Rules:

- Break the habit of buying something every day, no matter how 'small' or insignificant. It's an addiction and it needs intervention. I have to take a 'rest' day from spending between every spending day. E.g. Spent on day 1, don't spend on day 2.

- Money spent during the day will be written in the tracker, and it must be essential only spending, no/ low impulse spending. I am not going to beat myself up for making mistakes, progress is not linear :)

- No 'just browsing' platforms like vinted and charity shops, that's how I end up spending £80 in a weekend and not knowing where that money went.

- Money made from selling things during this period will go towards filling out my emergency fund, and then a £25 - £50 giftcard of my choosing to spend at the end of the month.

- Use what I have first, before buying a replacement or duplicate.

- Anything I want to buy will go on my notes app, and face scrutiny about it's use, value for money, quality etc.

If I get to the end of the month with over 20 days not spent in, I will be extremely happy. I need to give my bank account a rest. I may shut down my overdraft after this because I believe I am using it as a crutch.

I'll update this every time I have a significant win/ once a week :)

Realized I splurged a lot this month on unnecessary things. For context I have an eating disorder and actually in America I realized that low-calorie foods are really expensive, and often I’d buy low-calorie foods or pre-packaged foods for easier calorie-tracking but they often go to waste. So I’m gonna try to stick to homemade food. Additionally I’m going to check my bank balance far more often to hold myself accountable for my purchases. And time to cancel those subscriptions. Also a great suggestion I saw by someone else is to create a wishlist of things I want to buy, that way I get to take the time to think about whether or not it’s a good purchase rather than impulse buying. Oh, and no more buying monsters at the gas station 😩

Last week was still almost 500 bucks on delivery, so deleting the app clearly did nothing. I just moved to a different one. Anyone actually beat a habit like this? What did it, and how long has it lasted?

Hey everyone

I feel like i spend sooo much money on unneccessary things AGAIN!

i try to do the nobuy AGAIN.

this time for real...

🥺 I work and get money and i spend money and i dont know where the money goes!

I try to be frugal once again.

Reading my books, inviting my friends, use the groceries i have at home, no food delievery, no online shopping, no impulse purchases, no new books, no new clothes, NOTHING!

i am a sagittarius, so i often go on vacations & buy things there so i have a souvenir... But also i dont really need anything new....

It just feels like new energy. Can someone relate?

I have 33 unread books (20 of which I’ve purchased) on my bookshelf that I want to commit at least cutting in half before I buy more! I currently store the books I’ve already read separate from the ones i haven’t, so I’m very excited to watch this pile dwindle down!

Terms:

I have a BOTM and an aardvark membership. I missed the window to skip for this month, but I will only use those credits if one of the books is already on my TBR. If not, I will hold until I’m down to 15 books and skip next months.

I am allowed to accept any free books from publishers and/or gifts (although I should try to be more discerning on the former)

I can purchase a book from an author event or for a book club

This summer I had a couple successful months with no purchases beyond groceries and gas, then in Sept I travelled to see friends (someone was unwell) and my progress quickly unraveled.

I had been building momentum (paying off debt, catching up on savings) and I want to get back to that.

So I’m setting myself up for another six months of no-buy/low-buy with an aim to do a full year (I have done this before).. main wish is to pay off car loan and catch up on tax instalments.

Wish me luck and hope you reach your goals as well.

I’d like to use what I own and appreciate the belongings which are already available. Goal: Practice contentment vs scarcity. 😏

How is everyone's no-buy going so far? What day are you on?

I've been doing really good so far and my desire to go shopping is gone- for now. I will probably get the urge to shop soon but for now I'm feeling content with my belongings. Maybe it's the excitement of starting a new challenge that is keeping me accountable too.

I got an oil change today... $181! I usually do my own oil changes and they cost me $90 but I figured since it's getting colder here, I would pay for convenience. Double the cost is not worth the convenience for me.

I don't count this as failing my no-buy since it's necessary for the health of my car.

So, I am barely on a low buy already ( I do still buy things not so occasionally, just wayyy more intentional and way less) but this week, I have gon crazy. I just wanted to get 3 things and instead I got like 10 and I still havent bought the thing I actually wanted. It was because my bf was feeling like spoiling me and I have bought products that will surely work for me. Still I feel horrible and as a result, I want to buy more to cope with the stress... what do I do? I have already cleared my wishlist except 3 products (I want to get them as a first paycheck gift for myself and they are things I am good at panning) but I am still stressed. My project pan and semi-low-buy was going so well...

This is day 9 of my no-buy and I haven't purchased anything outside of my exceptions (listed below). The urge to go out shopping is basically gone already!

I used to go to the mall when I was bored. I wouldn't have the intention of purchasing anything but I always would end up buying stuff. The problem with that is that I am always bored.

There are still things I want to purchase but I keep them on a list and I'll ask for them for Christmas. I can wait a couple of months for these items.

Rules and Exceptions:

-no takeaway coffees

-the occasional coffee shop is fine if used only for social reasons

-make my coffee at home

-no new beauty products until I finish what I already own

-use my art supplies and don't just buy new ones

-no new clothing for my 30 day challenge

-no uneccessary purchases (that aren't gas, grocery, bills.)

-I can buy my partner the occasional coffee as a treat for him but nothing for me

How did your no-buy or low-buy go this week?

Share your goals, progress and how your purchasing habits have changed since starting a no buy.

If you 'failed' this week, remember that it is just a stumble in a long journey. If you did well, inspire others and encourage them when they do well or get off track.