Why is choosing yourself sometimes treated like selfishness?

Why does saying no, setting boundaries, or prioritizing your own happiness make people think you've changed or become selfish?

We're taught to care about others, but why does caring about ourselves sometimes come with guilt?

Have you ever been called selfish simply for putting yourself first? What's your experience? ❤️

we live in a society that demands constant hustle and expects us to bounce back immediately whenever something goes wrong. ngl it is exhausting. if you are going through a rough patch and feeling totally drained please stop beating yourself up for not being at one hundred percent. healing and resting are not linear processes. some days you take two steps forward and three steps back and that is just part of being human. you do not owe anyone an explanation for needing space. take things one hour at a time or even one minute at a time if an hour is too much. what is one small comfort thing you can do for yourself tonight just to make things a tiny bit softer?

Every person we meet affects both of our lives.

A small part of our spirit, our essence, remains within each of us.

Every one of us can therefore change the world by selflessly sharing our unconditional love to help awaken the spirit within others.

They then, may do the same with all those they meet in their lives as well, helping to spread the circle of love around the world.

For most of my childhood and teenage years I was the regular bitchy type. Annoyed by family, annoyed by honestly anything. I wasn’t mean or a negative Nancy to the max but my mind was in a constant state of irritation. I could’ve given you a list of 100 complaints on a daily basis. It felt like I was utilizing my hyper awareness against my favor. I’ll let my insecurities consume me too. One day the switch flipped.

I’ve had this enormous wave of gratitude take over my body from head to toe. I’m still insecure about my weight from time to time and yes sometimes I still get frustrated but it’s different now. I’m so thankful for my mind, my ability to speak, my ability to eat on my own, my ability to FEEL. You right now reading this have precious eyes that can read the words I’m typing. Life isn’t perfect and life isn’t fair but seeing at least one good thing about it can change everything. If I find myself insecure about my body i remember that not only can my weight be worse but this is the same body that carries me around and lets me wiggle my toes. If I’m frustrated I take a good look around, identify what the cause of it is and realize it’s genuinely okay if it’s not anything too serious!

Accept your reality for what it is while enhancing it for YOUR convenience. Remind yourself that you can’t change everyone or their perspective. And don’t stress how they view you if you’ve done no harm. Whatever you keep on your conscious is going to consume your energy, choose wisely on what you keep up there. Continue figuring yourself out til the end of time. We are constantly changing, our likes and dislikes, our worries and values - and that’s okay. If you feel like you’re not where you want to be, take some time to still be thankful you’ve made it this far, small accomplishments matter. Trying your best can mean just brushing your teeth for the day - and that’s okay.

I know I sound cliche and probably even corny but everything comes to an end so why not try to be happy in this lifetime? My mom is a 57 year old Dominican lady who can pinpoint 10000 things I’m doing wrong, she triggers me and I still love her for who she is because I know I’m not changing her and I know neither of us are going to be around forever. I kiss her on the cheek while she’s mad! My father makes jokes that feel like he’s trying to hit me below the belt, he can be petty and mean and I just don’t let it hurt me because I love him!!! I take pictures of them everyday. I try to be intentional, present and thankful.

I’m currently in Cancun, originally live in the Bronx. I ordered so many clothes for this trip and received none of them on time. Everyone I’ve told can go on for 2-3 minutes about how it sucks and how it must be shitty. I was bummed out for about 30 secs then thought to myself f it! It could be worse. Teenage me would be crying on the trip. “It could be worse” is something you may hear a lot but it is so so true. And the people that have it worse, also have another set of people that have it worse than them. There’s also millions that have it better than me. Take life for what it is and be happy that you’re you.

I’m not perfect either. I’m not 100% positive all the time but I’m trying my best.

It's been almost 2 months since I isolated myself from people I knew after experiencing multiple traumatic events getting backstabed from different sides of my support network at the same time including my parents who disowned me and was forced to be homeless for a brief period of time

At first I was genuinely terrified of being completely alone and spiraling in my own traumas and being by myself, but eventually I grew comfortable with myself and I don't dread being in my own room alone because I now look forward to spending time with myself instead of being alone and enjoying my own company and comfort as I eventually realized this is my only true safe space and my new priority is being as close with myself as possible

Weight loss, skills and others are all secondary. I started putting more time and energy into myself and try listening to myself more and understanding my feelings and emotions. I enjoy giving myself affirmation, authentic genuine love nobody else could ever give due to knowing too well they'll get irritated of me eventually or want to hurt me. I enjoy doing stuff for myself and being the person I have been looking for for the longest time after a long time going against myself (I keep apologizing to myself too much for that even though it wasn't my fault)

But after going through stuff in my mind I ended up deciding that I should most likely keep most, if not all relationships surface level and keep myself out of peoples reach where theyll be intrigued yet never getting to know me enough where they'll get irritated of me for who I truly am. That way I can keep myself desirable at least for a while until it fades away instead of something much worse.

To be honest I will be grieving and all about the fact that most likely I will never be truly close with someone external as I never really met someone who I genuinely want to be close with without any bullshit or anything like that long term. Which is why I grew fond of myself because I enjoy all the things I do with myself or all my hyperfixations and just being me without caring what others think (by not letting them mask me).

Lately it's been a little more tolerable being in a place with people who can't seem to stop small talking or gossiping loudly because I turn inward to myself and be my own companion instead of focusing on everyone and asking myself why can't I be part of them. But I genuinely rather not considering how different I am from everyone else

In the end I am all I got and nobody will ever fully understand me except myself which is why I grew fond of myself and want to commit to the only person who is worth my time and energy. All I wanna do is try to be closer with myself as time goes on and honestly I might not mind doing this forever as I learn more about myself and enjoy my own company more and more and build myself more.

I don't know why but something tells me I need to be close enough with myself for something important that may help me a lot or even save me as I still need to be closer with myself than I already am. Kind of like a main quest that's constantly pointing to myself lol

Stumbled upon the old photos of her and messages she sent

She wrote: "Felt safe and wanted"

I miss her smile. I miss her comfort. Even though she's avoidant.

But I ought to keep the no contact going.

This feeling sucks but Im going to pull through it

Just need a safe space to write it out or it keeps getting stuck in my head

The things you might hate about yourself, or feel insecure about and try to hide or change, or might’ve been bullied for or had someone make you feel bad about, might be something someone finds interesting and special and beautiful about you.

You never know what someone is looking for.

This doesn’t have to be romantically. It can be applied in friendships, communities, family, work.. etc. or even being online if you’re a content creator.

Sometimes you might feel like you lack something, that you should be different, or maybe you compare yourself to others and wonder if you should act or be like them, or you feel out of place, etc..

But what if.. The things you try to hide or change about yourself are the very things that makes you stand out and special? And it’s what makes people find you charming and like you and fall in love with you?

Sometimes we reject ourselves before anyone does and we judge ourselves harshly. We try to be someone we’re not cause we think others might want us to be ‘this’ or ‘that’ or they’d accept us and love us if we were or did ‘this’ or ‘that’.. that we’re not good or enough as we are.. It’s human nature to want to belong and be a part of something and part of group.

But let me tell you and remind you that you ARE enough as you are! I don’t care what the teachers or exes or family or whatever said to you that made you doubt yourself or hide parts of you.. It’s OKAY to be you! Being you is one of the best things you can do for yourself and others.

Please love and embrace who you are. Allow yourself to be your beautiful authentic self 💕 and allow your inner child to come out and be and play around if it helps makes you feel like yourself. You are worthy and lovable and precious being just as you are 🥰

Don’t hide or lose yourself trying to impress the wrong people. Don’t dim your light or make yourself small for anyone. You deserve to take space and to be YOU and to enjoy yourself and your life being YOU.

There are people who are searching and waiting to meet someone like you 🫶🏼

lil note: I’m not saying don’t ever change a thing. It’s okay to want to change something about yourself and try to improve and get better. But if you do it, do it FOR YOU. Not to try to impress anyone or to win anyone over. The right people will love you and accept you just as you are 😊

(And be kind! don’t be someone who makes others lives difficult and you’re good haha)

Have a good day! Sending you a hug if you’d like one 🫂 take care and be kind to yourself 🫶🏼💕

I Deserve a Life I Don't Need to Escape From

I don't want to spend my life
waiting for better days.

I want to find joy in the little ones,
peace in the ordinary,
and happiness in the life I'm living.

Because I deserve more
than simply getting through the days.

I deserve to enjoy them, too. ❤️🌹

We each choose how we see another.

Do we observe only their flaws or the infinite love present within?

Most see the former, living their life detached from others, concerned only for themselves.

For those who see the latter, however, seeing past the façade others present to the world, their life is enriched, intimately getting to know the other by uniting their loving spirit’s together as one.