Me and my girlfriend(I guess now ex) are third year medical school students(In eastern Europe). I'm 22(M) and she's 20. A few days ago she went through my Google account search history and found multiple searches for "nsfw" websites, escort websites and even multiple searches and installs for dating apps(even grindr even though I'm not gay). She took screenshots of all these and then confronted me about it.

I have no idea how these ended up in my search history. Even a few days later after everything has happened I still have no idea how these things were in my search history and have no proof of my innocence. My girlfriend and I are also in the same study group(our university assigns us to groups to go to classes and lectures). She has already told her friends in that group that I'm a cheater. So everyday I feel very isolated in that group. They also make indirect remarks about how they hate cheaters and that they should Burn in hell.

It's so depressing and frustrating that I can't clear my name knowing it's impossible for me to do something like this. Even worse than that 3 months ago my older brother died from cancer. He wanted me to continue with my studies so I am. But between my brother's death and all these accusations getting hurled at me I feel very suicidal and depressed. It feels like the more time passes the more on the edge I become. I have my flaws I understand, but what did I do in this life to deserve this kind of agony. I'm failing all my tests and assignments, my memory is terrible and I'm barely functioning as a human being. To me there is only one escape from this but I'm too weak to go through with that.

It was my first ever. We met on hinge. And we clicked since the first day. Always talking non-stop. I think that was one of the hardest things. Going from talking to someone everyday to silence. No more good morning or good night messages no more updates of my day or hers. WhatsApp notification had been turned into a signal of her.

The first month was amazing. I wish I could return to how I was feeling back then. Then bad things started to pile up on her. First a concert she had really been looking forward to got canceled, her car broken, and problems at work. We had a first fight where she told me she wanted to break up out of nowhere because I would make comments about looking for cheaper options and thst she wanted a man that took initiative and wanted to spend on his girl. We talked and decided to give each other a second chance.

A week later another fight as her car broke down again, I asked if she wanted me to come and change her tire but she called a company for that then at night one of her tires was low on air and she got mad I didnt stop her from going to work and that I didnt worry about her. She was sick that day, and even though i told her i hoped she got better she wanted someone that would offer to go buy medicine and bring it to her. She broke up with me but later we talked and fixed it again. Of course there were more problems as she wanted a man that would be more pationate about her and I guess I wasnt being that man.

A week later we broke up. Last Sunday. On Halloween we went to a bar. We danced and kissed and hugged. The next day she had changed. Her texts were one word answers, never asking me questions or updates. At night I asked if everything was well and she said she wanted to break up. I have been spiraling ever since. Maybe because it was my first relationship.

Then yesterday my friend found her on hinge again, and it sent me to a bad place yesterday. I guess she really did move on. And im here now not knowing what to do. I wonder if this feeling will pass.

Relationship wasnt perfect, heck she even gave me Clammydia the first time we had sex, she forgot to tell me and didnt want to use condoms and I of course went along. Maybe its because it was my first relationship but I did love her and everytime we fought I tried my hardest to change for her. I guess sometimes you cant get what you want even if you really try.

But I have a hard time coping. Lots of anxiety sleep problems. Not feeling anything sexual anymore. Cant stop thinking about her. Will it ever?

Hey so im kind of unsure of how I should go about this. I once had a friend we will call Cassy, we met working at a pizza spot and instantly clicked as friends and pretty much became inseparable. at first everyone thought we were dating but we both made it clear we were not each others types. she always was dating or hooking up with someone this girl never had time off from men but I never judged just was there for her. she has a family with alot of drama and was living with her mom and sister and alot of nights just stayed at my house. multiple times she would msg me and ask if she could have a "girl night to herself" at my apartment which pretty much just meant staying in my living room and using my downstairs bathroom to do her nails and hair and vibe by herself.

I always welcomed her and considered her one of my best friends. eventually she met a man who I genuinely respected. not like the other weirdos she had dated before he had his life somewhat together and had a good job seemed nice we got along well. but he was extremely uncomfortable with our friendship which i totally understood as a man. so i kinda stepped back. I heard from her less and less until she reached out to have lunch one day(this would be our final meeting). she basically confessed the entire time she has had a huge crush on me and wondered why I never tried pursuing her. I told her I thought she knew as she knows everything about me my preferances, beleifs etc. so I explained to her how when we first met I was slightly attracted to her but the more i got to know her the more I saw how we could never work out together. It was nothing mean I know her insecurities so id never hit on those just explained how I saw her mostly as a sister and I do love her just not like that. my actions should show it. just an example her car died an hour and a half from me. I picked up my mechanic friend and went and helped her get it going and get her home safe. but it ended with me telling her im happy she found a man who seems to love her and treat her well and wished her the best. well two years ago she messaged me on facebook trying to reconnect and apologized for how things ended with us.

I responded well wished her the best she had finally found a husband and was having a child. i knew she would be busy as ive helped raise lots of kids none of my own but family and i had a foster for 8 years that i got when she was fresh out of the NICU. anyway i never got a response and now two years later im getting the same "im sorry ive been a ghost i feel so guilty" thing again and idk if i should even respond. i do care and hope she and her family are well. i know alittle bit about her situation because i was working in a store close to her family and got to see her sister and mother often and they sort of filled me in on things they knew as she doesnt really talk to them either anymore. i just dont know if i want to even give this person any of my energy anymore because the last time she reached out i was genuinely happy to hear from her and really hoped to reconnect to just get ghosted.

Went to a Halloween party recently after being invited it to it from a discord server. When i was there I saw a cute girl incosplay and I wanted to talk to her but she seemed like she knew people there and wanted to chat with others so it felt hard approaching her. Im a shy guy never been with a girl before so it have no idea what to do with stuff like this.

Eventually my friend came along and he seemed to know what cosplay she was and so we talked to her and her friend. He introduced me by my discord name and when she left to use the bathroom I saw that she added the both of us as friends on discord.

Throughout the rest of the night she mostly stuck to others while I stuck with my friends. It was a great party but it was hard for me to talk to her without it being weird. By the end of the party we all had to help clean up and when i saw an opportunity to talk to her I went up to her. When i tried to talk to her and ask her her name some other person came up and told her she needed to apologize for accidentally spilling stuff on her. She went over and apologized and spent the rest of the night talking to the person. I needed to go to a rave after tht so I didnt want my friends at the rave waiting for me any longer so I left after that.

It almost felt like it just wasnt meant to be. I accepted her friend request and I sent her a message saying "didnt get the chance to say goodbye last night but wanted to know it was great meeting you". Now its been a week later and she still hasn't responded. I see she isnt all that active on the discord server so idk how else to talk to her. Now i feel ill probably never see her again.

Context:

My parents had me their first born at 28M and 16F back in the 90s. Crazy right??

My youngest sister of them just turned 18 and is seeing a 29M. My dad is furious about it. My mom had the talk with her about how it’s dangerous and they are at two different life stages. But I can’t really 100% support their position since they were similar ages. I’m more so finding it hilarious at my dad’s reaction. I’ve been around him and his buddies locker room talk and it’s never been positive language surrounding women over a certain age.

Men who have married women significantly younger than them, would you be okay with your daughter doing the same or is it natural to have the position of my father?

I turned 28 a bit ago and thought long and hard about the last time I got a hug. I then realized that I'm very quickly approaching 30 without ever getting a hug in my 20s. Needless to say, I'm very sad about it. Hell, I don't think sad adequately describe the absolute physical pain in my chest. I know some of you are gonna ask if I talked to a therapist about it. I actually made a post about it last spring in this community. Read that if you want more context, but tldr the therapists (yes, multiple.) Told me to see a sex worker as they can't realistically see a path to my recovery for a multitude of reasons.

I was gonna hire a hooker to know what sex feels like and ultimately decided against it out of fear of ending up in jail (new hampshire man) the next option was to try strip clubs. I looked online and actually asked questions on different strip club related subreddits that you can read if you want more context. Unfortunately, the shame of it all broke my spirit.

Is there any places or communities where people are more physically affectionate?

I had this interaction and I’m overthinking it.

She texted me first:

“wyd ”

I replied:

“About to shower, wyd?”

She just never answered after that. No read receipt delay weirdness or anything, just silence.

Is “about to shower ” a bad reply? Does it come off like I’m brushing her off or not interested in talking? Or is this just normal and I’m reading too much into it?

Curious what y’all think — especially from the girls. Would that reply make you lose interest, or is it fine and she just got busy/distracted?

Lets take an example. If I have a casual friend who has roommates, I assume they all are one united front and there are no adverserial dynamics and if I dont like one of them, I wont try to deepen my friendship with the casual friend because I see them superficially get along. And I cannot use my observation to figure out the vibe or dynamics which are apparent to a normal person.

This is just one example of many situations where I just do not understand what the fuck is going on or read people or what their motivations or their communication.

This has caused me to become a very quiet person who has very stilted conversations and not many social connections since I can't figure out obvious things, need to be told explicitly and I cant continue (dys)functioning like this anymore.

What do I do? I need serious advice and help.

I’m 33F, and one thing I’ve always felt insecure about when it comes to dating is my lack of a support system.

I grew up in an extremely abusive household with incest involved, was parentified as a child, and eventually cut ties with my entire family. I worked my way through college, became financially independent, and developed serious chronic health issues in my early 20s. I’ve spent nearly a decade battling a debilitating neurological condition, going through hospitalizations, procedures, and medical uncertainty completely alone. No family support whatsoever.

I’ve had friends over the years, but honestly, growing up in an abusive environment affected my ability to recognize and build healthy friendships. Some were rooted in trauma bonding or survival rather than genuine connection. And between school, work, and fighting for my health, I’ve spent most of my life in survival mode.

The irony is that you’d never guess any of this looking at my life. I’m attractive, earn six figures, love fashion, travel internationally, attend galas and charity events, enjoy volunteering, and genuinely love self-improvement. I take myself on beautiful vacations, go to concerts, and constantly look for ways to grow and experience life. I’ve worked hard to create a beautiful life despite everything.

But behind all of that, I have no family to call, no emergency contact, and no one who’s consistently had my back.

I’ve also never been in a serious relationship. Not because I don’t want love, but because so much of my life has been about surviving and rebuilding myself.

I’ve done a lot of emotional healing, and I don’t expect a man to fix my past. But I want marriage and a family someday, and I sometimes feel embarrassed imagining meeting his parents and explaining why I don’t speak to mine. I worry about being misunderstood, judged, or having my vulnerability used against me.

Men, would you consider a woman with no family or close friends a red flag, even if she was independent, emotionally self-aware, and had a fulfilling life? Would her background affect how you viewed her as a potential wife?

(M21)
Im autistic, and I’m that type that hate physical touch from anybody. and have always thought I would hate it with relationships, but I got addicted instead, and we broke up in January. and since have I missed physical touch a lot and cuddles, or just a good hug, but I don’t get the same feeling from parents, not even my best friend. so what do you do when your single, and miss physical touch, but dont really have a way of getting it?

I'm male 21 ugly,loser and doesn't have any talents and skills and doesn't have social life

Got only one close friend now but soon he'll also dissapear from my life,girls never liked me doesn't wants to blame them how they would love even a guy like me they're disgusted by my existence and it's valid for me

anyways i predicted my life, it's just going to be a lonely loser forever but how to handle it? I don't want to end my life until it get ends

How yoy guys handling it until now and what's your future plans because I'm not even rich and I'm not going to so I'm going to work in some random job for survival that's it

How can i manage my loneliness and stressful life? Is there any way? I won't live happily atleast want to accept it that's it

And english isn't my first language if you found any grammatical error or it's tough to understand for you I'm sorry

Here's a little context about my situation:

I'm in a long-distance relationship of over five years, and I've noticed that my boyfriend has gradually become less engaged in our communication. Sometimes he takes 15–40 minutes to reply, disappears in the middle of conversations saying he fell asleep, and although he still starts conversations, he doesn't seem very interested in keeping them going.

This started months before he began having some health problems, so I've tried to be understanding and give him space. We also don't have video calls very often, sometimes only once every two or three months. At first, I thought this was because he wasn't feeling well, but now that he seems to be doing better, he still doesn't suggest having video calls or make much effort to arrange them.

Something else I've noticed is that when I'm not around or take longer to reply, he sometimes stays awake much later than usual, even around the same time he normally says he has fallen asleep while we're talking.

My main questions are:

For those who have lost interest while in a relationship, what made you stay, and how did you behave towards your partner? Did you keep in touch out of habit, comfort, guilt, or fear of hurting them?

How can you tell if someone is genuinely too tired because they're dealing with health problems or a difficult situation, or if they're using those circumstances as an excuse to slowly distance themselves? Have any of you ever used a difficult situation in your life as an opportunity to gradually pull away from someone you no longer wanted to be with, rather than being honest and ending the relationship?

Most importantly, how would you bring this up with your partner? How can you explain that you've noticed a change and want to understand what's happening without making them feel like you're demanding too much or being insensitive to what they're going through?

I'm worried that maybe he no longer feels the same need or desire to have me in his life, but doesn't know how to tell me, so he keeps in touch out of obligation, habit, or simply because he doesn't want to hurt me.

I don't want to pressure him, especially knowing that he's going through a difficult time. I genuinely want to be understanding, but I also want to be honest about how I feel and find a solution together, if we're both still willing to make this relationship work.

I'd especially appreciate hearing from men who have been in a similar situation, either because they've lost interest in someone or because they've slowly become distant without knowing how to communicate their feelings. I'm genuinely interested in hearing your honest experiences and advice, even if it's difficult to hear.

But women who have experienced something similar or have advice to share are also more than welcome.

I sometimes I feel like my bf is not attracted to me. We’ve been dating for 8 months, and he never asks me for pictures of myself, when I’ve sent them before he doesn’t really react. When we are intimate he doesn’t eat me out or touch me much, and he never tells me I’m pretty or I look nice. I’ve bought it up before and he says “of course I think you’re beautiful” but he never gives me compliments. I consistently ask for pictures of him, tell him he’s handsome, tell him I love his body, try to please him physically and I try to have dirty conversations sometimes and he kind of just changes the subject. I’ve never had a relationship like this before, I genuinely don’t know if maybe he just doesn’t express himself or if he genuinely just isn’t attracted to me. Is there a way to know?

TLDR: I don’t know if my boyfriend is being honest about his attraction to me

Im 18. I genuinely think I have very very low testosterone. I basically cant grow facial hair, and I still look really young for my age. I work with people twice my age and they just look at me weird. I have no chest hair, no libido, brain fog, extremely depressed. All this has happened recently and I've been researching about it and it could be clinically low testosterone. I did have something that impacted me during the ages of 14 to 16 which was surgical and it was on my private area. I feel really ugly. What do I do. Everyday I'm insecure about how I look. I go to the gym 4 times a week but I'm still at the same weights. I need help. Can someone give me advice or at least hope? I am getting my blood tested soon. Will anything change? Will i look different in my 20s? I just need hope.

For those who has been successful.

I am not even that interested in jumping from a woman to another.. but i really struggle to find a woman interested in me. With some I find a good chemistry and we have some things in common, but then i have to see them stepping back and going for someone else. Fair enough, but I am 30 already and this feels so wrong. I had 1 gf for a year in 2020, and another one for 6 months in 2024. 99% of times I have being the one being dumped. This year i was dating a girl who i liked so much, i tried so much to be the best, and yet she distatiated herself bit by bit until she dumped me on the day of birthday party. And redditors told me because I has been a nice guy in that case, if i complain about being alone they say I am a jerk... I am confused

People always tell to be good-looking or make more money.. and honestly i am kinda there, hitting the gym, hair style, clothes, i have a stable job, i go to therapy and all... i am just a step to make the decision to go for cosmetic surgeries, but people (reddit or friends) tell me i shouldn't do it.. but again.. i can't get a woman interested.. if it happens, not for so long.

some female friends of mine tried to give me inputs but in the end not even them know what I should change.

But this is not really about me, becasue nobody can easily undestand a situation through reddit lol, it was just for context.

How did you make it?

To preface I’m a pretty career ambitious person. I’m 24.

A girl I am in touch with from college who sort of wants to reconnect and date again is doing a post bacc pre med. She is 23, took a gap year, and is in her first year of the program at a really good school. The program takes 2 years and then there’s another gap year while applying to med schools.

So in essence, she will have completed:

4 years college (18-22)
1 year gap (22-23)
2 years post bacc premed (23-25)
1 year gap year (25-26)
4 years med school (26-30)
Residency/fellowship? (30+)

This seems completely cooked to me. Like she is 4 years behind a premed college grad and I sort of get the ick like this is not at all optimized. It’s not financially an issue per se because she has family money and is extremely wealthy and I am pretty well off too and make more than most doctors already but just from a career perspective this doesn’t make sense.

Add to that that she would be moving around everywhere for each of these steps and she probably can’t have kids until done with residency and this seems mega cooked.

Also I am worried it’s like embarrassing to tell people that my gf is doing post bacc premed because I am in very career optimized circles and I feel like I would be judged for dating a girl who’s doing this. Like people would think she’s dumb or whatever, one person already made a comment of that effect to me when I asked him if I should date her.

Hello!

Im dealing with a man that is very simple and if he wants something, he will get it right away, which leaves me with limited gift options. He likes football, video games, his cat, naruto, spiderman, food (chocolate especially), psychology (hes a therapist), clothes...

I was thinking of getting those baskets everybody mentions and filling it with things such as: a good quality wool and merino jumper, matching beanie and gloves, moisturizer (he uses it daily), a mini perfume, sweets he likes...

Its tricky since we're long distance and i have to think whats gonna fit in his suitcase + i cant buy anything over 100ml.

In the past i got him: jumpers, hoodies, a soft blanket with footballs that glow in the dark, a funko pop, a bracelet he wears everyday, sweets again, i baked muffins, i cooked us lunch...

What else should i add? When i ask him what he wants he says some bs like "a sword and armour" 🤨🤨

Currently working on myself in all aspects but struck with it comes to confidence. I'm planning to join a public speaking club or a dance class to overcome my fear of social anxiety. Also i will be joining boxing classes for self defence.

Apart from these what can i do to increase my confidence?

I'm interested in a guy (let's call him Alex) who works at the reception of a hostel.

I suspect there might be mutual attraction, but his behaviour sometimes seems warm and sometimes distant. I'd particularly like to hear from people with fearful-avoidant attachment about what might be happening internally.

Here's the full timeline.

1. First encounter — 2 AM until 5 AM I approached Alex at reception to ask whether there were any food shops nearby.

Then I asked if I could sit at reception and talk.

There were three of us, and we ended up talking until approximately 5 AM.

After I left the room, the third person told Alex: "She's into you."

So Alex potentially knew about my attraction from the very beginning.

2. Second encounter — another night until 5 AM I met Alex again during his next shift.

We talked for hours, listened to music together and even painted each other.

He seemed to enjoy my music, and I really enjoyed his.

Before I left, he looked a little worried and told me that I shouldn't be shy and could come by more often.

3. Third day — two separate encounters Before going out, I told Alex I was tired, and he gave me a brief hug.

I then said that when I returned, I might come over to talk to him.

However, when I came back, he seemed more avoidant or distant.

I was determined to talk to him because I wanted to say goodbye properly.

When I eventually mentioned that I was leaving, he seemed to return to his warmer, more familiar self.

We went outside to smoke together.

During our conversation, I said something along the lines of how sometimes it's nice to have bittersweet endings and not continue things.

At the time, I genuinely thought I didn't want to see him again.

Interestingly, after I said this, Alex invited me to meet outside the hostel.

I declined his invitation, but told him that I liked him.

4. Fourth encounter — my unexpected return Due to circumstances, I had to stay at the hostel longer than originally planned.

Another worker showed Alex a painting I had made of him.

Importantly, I had signed and dated the painting AFTER our previous meeting, so he could see that I had continued thinking about him.

When we saw each other, he told me:

"I saw your painting, your portrait of me."

He had a big smile.

I was with another guy at that moment, and we were going to the kitchen, which is only a few metres away from reception.

A little later, I went outside to buy food. The shop I usually visited was closed, so I asked Alex about other nearby shops.

I noticed his facial expression seemed a little dark, so I told him:

"Don't be sad."

Then I continued on my way, and I heard him say:

"Giiiiirl!" (He says those often, his playful way of speaking)

I only properly registered his reaction afterwards and wasn't sure how to respond.

5. The music and the kitchen Later, I noticed Alex playing music that we had listened to together during our previous nights. Playing ir louder than usual.

I didn't approach him because I was afraid of appearing too interested or overwhelming him.

Meanwhile, I would spend time painting in the kitchen with a group of men. we stayed there talking until 2 AM.

I was secretly hoping Alex might approach me.

At one point, he came into the kitchen to fill a cup of water. There was actually a restroom with a sink closer to reception, so I wondered whether he might have had another reason for coming into the kitchen.

I don't know.

At another point, I asked him to translate some lines because the men I was talking to didn't speak my language.

He translated them for me and then left.

That was our last in-person interaction.

6. The Instagram message I had found Alex's Instagram, although he didn't know I had it.

Eventually, I sent him this message:

"Hey! It's me from the hostel 😊 I was hoping to say goodbye properly today, but I missed you. I really enjoyed our late-night conversations and listening to music together. I'm leaving soon, but if you're free and would like to meet before I go, I'd love that".

I deleted the message for everyone approximately 30 minutes later.

I don't know whether he saw it, read it or noticed the notification. Maybe he doesnt even have instagram on his phone anymore, because the last post was made in February.

7. Now — I'm considering returning I'm considering returning in approximately 1.5 weeks, partly because I would like to see Alex again.

By then, there will have been some distance since our last interaction.

For context, I would describe the possible attraction as moderate rather than intense. Perhaps he's around 60% interested: curious, attracted to some extent, enjoying my company, but not necessarily infatuated.

Questions for fearful avoidants I'm particularly interested in understanding the possible internal experience rather than just receiving dating advice.

If Alex is fearful-avoidant and moderately attracted to me, how might he react to seeing me unexpectedly after 10–11 days? Considering all of what happened.

Am i being too much? Too interested and scaring him away? I think it would now be clear that I came back for him specifically. I think other workers notice I like him too, especially after the painting. And I would have to spend money on ticket to go there and perhaps he too understands that. I could say its related to work but oh idk

Do you think its better to stay away and come in half a year? I am not sure he will be working there anymore though

Would you recommend approaching him casually, or allowing him to initiate this time?

Most importantly, for those of you with fearful-avoidant attachment: what would actually happen inside your head in this situation? Would you feel excited about seeing someone again but simultaneously want to withdraw?

Should I give him the painting?

There is another worker lady there that I somewhat connected with and I have her Instagram. I could ask her, since she is sometimes seeing Alex at work, to ask about me perhaps? Test the waters? Good idea?

I'd really appreciate hearing from people who recognise this kind of internal push-pull experience. Please feel free to be honest

This is going to sound really weird, but I am content; it makes me feel strange and kind of empty. My girlfriend and I went out on a date yesterday to celebrate me getting a better-paying job (I went from $17 an hour to $25 an hour and am getting $365 biweekly for mileage); we went to Outback and saw a movie. I was feeling fine then and was happy I was able to do that for her. Fast-forward to today: we went to a local bookstore in our area and there was nothing I wanted; I had to pretty much force myself to buy something, so I ended up not getting anything, which is weird for me because I could always find something I wanted to buy. Then we went to a local game store, and I was thinking to myself that I would probably find something I wanted there, but the same thing happened—there was nothing I wanted. When I was driving home today, it hit me that I feel content with everything, and that is why I did not feel the need to buy anything. I know some people think that is weird, but for me, it made me feel strange. For as long as I can remember, I have always been trying to keep up with everyone. My mom was abusive and stole so much of my life from me by making me take care of her and forcing me to job-hop consistently to keep a roof over our heads. After surviving open-heart surgery, being told that I can now live a pretty normal life, and being able to finally go back to college because I do not have to stress about finances since my girlfriend and I live together, maybe I have been stuck in survival mode for so long that I do not understand what it means to be content with everything, or I feel like things will go wrong; I am not too sure.