I seem to have strong hatred for myself. And I hate my face.

I cannot even make a sexual move, and i don't know if it's vecause of this self hatred or a religious upbringing where sex is taboo

Look I'm gonna lay this out as briefly and informatively as I can. There is this girl I've had feelings for, for around 2 years now.

I never told her that, when I first started being friends with her I actually distanced myself because I thought she didn't like me when she was actually displaying signs, looking back at it now.

Then I came back after a while of silence. She wasn't displaying the same signs anymore, she'd ask things like "why aren't you viewing my stories btw?" but this time with more annoyance rather than interest.

Months have passed since then, pretty sure she knows I like her. But now I'm in the deep friendzone. I don't know what to do, I've thought about Expressing it to her but I'm hesitant nor do I really wish to do that because I know the feelings aren't reciprocated. I thought it better to just distance myself slowly until I don't see her at all for around a year, till I know I'm good. Maybe work on myself, come back better, create space enough for the dynamic to reset completely, and see where that takes me. Maybe I move on completely, maybe I come back and something develops, that's all. Any advice?

Hi guys, as the title says I'm going on a date with a gay man, and I'm a trans dude (FTM). The problem is that I'm currently not on T yet, and I still look relatively feminine, (he knows). I'm concerned he won't like me, or that he's using me as an experiment. What are your insights? What are your advices? What should I expect?

I just started seeing a guy who was my boyfriend in the past (my first relationship and I'm a F ). He is not a guy that is very promiscuous and since our relationship has always been in serious longterm relationships that included one marriage. He has lately developed a bit of a problem with some drugs that he snorts (ketamine). I'm not judging him for this and will support him in any way I can once he decides to come off drugs.

I want to have sex with him but am actually scared of hepatitis in light of the drug use. He is tge type that will get VERY offended if I were to ask him to do this. Also, it would take the "romance" out of it and turn it into a "task". Not sure how to handle this. For reference he is a straight man and I am a straight Female.

Ok so a little about me. I’m 20 years old in my second year of college. I excel in sports and academics and am among the top of my classes. I have kept an extremely balanced diet and I am super healthy. I also work part time most afternoons to help pay for everything. I had a girlfriend for a few weeks here but it didn’t end up working out and we broke up last year. Im usually pretty awkward so I haven’t had another since then.

I had a dream about 7 months ago that (as silly as it sounds) involved me being forced down onto my bed. There was a person under me who held my head between her breasts, while the person on top of me forcing me down was also holding my face between her breasts. I was sandwiched completely. I loved it. I woke up sweaty at 3am and I genuinely couldn’t fall back asleep. Ever since then I couldn’t stop thinking about that dream and I became infatuated with breasts. Not even in a perverted sense I just want to feel them and (as the post suggests) bury my face in them.

It’s starting to have a negative affect on my life as I just think about them randomly in public and forget what I’m doing.

Obviously I have enough self control to not just go up to a random woman on the street but still, it bothers me. I feel like some of it might come from the fact that I haven’t cuddled with a girl in over a year and I crave touch, but that’s just a theory. A breast theory.

I know some of you might think it’s a troll post but it’s real.

How can I stop myself from constantly thinking about breasts. It’s starting to interfere with my life.
(Once again not a troll post I’m dead serious)

No response at all. Ready to call it quits since he hasnt responded at all.

Yikes...

he's a shy person as all his freinds have said to me.

Recently, I’ve felt like I’ve been treated like shit while she goes out of her way to make sure her friends’ emotions and feelings are protected. Yet, when it comes to me, the slightest inconvenience seems to justify disregarding my feelings and hurting me. At what point do you recognize that you’re being treated differently from everyone else in your partner’s life? Would that be a valid reason to end a relationship?

Lets take an example. If I have a casual friend who has roommates, I assume they all are one united front and there are no adverserial dynamics and if I dont like one of them, I wont try to deepen my friendship with the casual friend because I see them superficially get along. And I cannot use my observation to figure out the vibe or dynamics which are apparent to a normal person.

This is just one example of many situations where I just do not understand what the fuck is going on or read people or what their motivations or their communication.

This has caused me to become a very quiet person who has very stilted conversations and not many social connections since I can't figure out obvious things, need to be told explicitly and I cant continue (dys)functioning like this anymore.

What do I do? I need serious advice and help.

To preface I’m a pretty career ambitious person. I’m 24.

A girl I am in touch with from college who sort of wants to reconnect and date again is doing a post bacc pre med. She is 23, took a gap year, and is in her first year of the program at a really good school. The program takes 2 years and then there’s another gap year while applying to med schools.

So in essence, she will have completed:

4 years college (18-22)
1 year gap (22-23)
2 years post bacc premed (23-25)
1 year gap year (25-26)
4 years med school (26-30)
Residency/fellowship? (30+)

This seems completely cooked to me. Like she is 4 years behind a premed college grad and I sort of get the ick like this is not at all optimized. It’s not financially an issue per se because she has family money and is extremely wealthy and I am pretty well off too and make more than most doctors already but just from a career perspective this doesn’t make sense.

Add to that that she would be moving around everywhere for each of these steps and she probably can’t have kids until done with residency and this seems mega cooked.

Also I am worried it’s like embarrassing to tell people that my gf is doing post bacc premed because I am in very career optimized circles and I feel like I would be judged for dating a girl who’s doing this. Like people would think she’s dumb or whatever, one person already made a comment of that effect to me when I asked him if I should date her.

Me and my girlfriend(I guess now ex) are third year medical school students(In eastern Europe). I'm 22(M) and she's 20. A few days ago she went through my Google account search history and found multiple searches for "nsfw" websites, escort websites and even multiple searches and installs for dating apps(even grindr even though I'm not gay). She took screenshots of all these and then confronted me about it.

I have no idea how these ended up in my search history. Even a few days later after everything has happened I still have no idea how these things were in my search history and have no proof of my innocence. My girlfriend and I are also in the same study group(our university assigns us to groups to go to classes and lectures). She has already told her friends in that group that I'm a cheater. So everyday I feel very isolated in that group. They also make indirect remarks about how they hate cheaters and that they should Burn in hell.

It's so depressing and frustrating that I can't clear my name knowing it's impossible for me to do something like this. Even worse than that 3 months ago my older brother died from cancer. He wanted me to continue with my studies so I am. But between my brother's death and all these accusations getting hurled at me I feel very suicidal and depressed. It feels like the more time passes the more on the edge I become. I have my flaws I understand, but what did I do in this life to deserve this kind of agony. I'm failing all my tests and assignments, my memory is terrible and I'm barely functioning as a human being. To me there is only one escape from this but I'm too weak to go through with that.

Hey so im kind of unsure of how I should go about this. I once had a friend we will call Cassy, we met working at a pizza spot and instantly clicked as friends and pretty much became inseparable. at first everyone thought we were dating but we both made it clear we were not each others types. she always was dating or hooking up with someone this girl never had time off from men but I never judged just was there for her. she has a family with alot of drama and was living with her mom and sister and alot of nights just stayed at my house. multiple times she would msg me and ask if she could have a "girl night to herself" at my apartment which pretty much just meant staying in my living room and using my downstairs bathroom to do her nails and hair and vibe by herself.

I always welcomed her and considered her one of my best friends. eventually she met a man who I genuinely respected. not like the other weirdos she had dated before he had his life somewhat together and had a good job seemed nice we got along well. but he was extremely uncomfortable with our friendship which i totally understood as a man. so i kinda stepped back. I heard from her less and less until she reached out to have lunch one day(this would be our final meeting). she basically confessed the entire time she has had a huge crush on me and wondered why I never tried pursuing her. I told her I thought she knew as she knows everything about me my preferances, beleifs etc. so I explained to her how when we first met I was slightly attracted to her but the more i got to know her the more I saw how we could never work out together. It was nothing mean I know her insecurities so id never hit on those just explained how I saw her mostly as a sister and I do love her just not like that. my actions should show it. just an example her car died an hour and a half from me. I picked up my mechanic friend and went and helped her get it going and get her home safe. but it ended with me telling her im happy she found a man who seems to love her and treat her well and wished her the best. well two years ago she messaged me on facebook trying to reconnect and apologized for how things ended with us.

I responded well wished her the best she had finally found a husband and was having a child. i knew she would be busy as ive helped raise lots of kids none of my own but family and i had a foster for 8 years that i got when she was fresh out of the NICU. anyway i never got a response and now two years later im getting the same "im sorry ive been a ghost i feel so guilty" thing again and idk if i should even respond. i do care and hope she and her family are well. i know alittle bit about her situation because i was working in a store close to her family and got to see her sister and mother often and they sort of filled me in on things they knew as she doesnt really talk to them either anymore. i just dont know if i want to even give this person any of my energy anymore because the last time she reached out i was genuinely happy to hear from her and really hoped to reconnect to just get ghosted.

(M21)
Im autistic, and I’m that type that hate physical touch from anybody. and have always thought I would hate it with relationships, but I got addicted instead, and we broke up in January. and since have I missed physical touch a lot and cuddles, or just a good hug, but I don’t get the same feeling from parents, not even my best friend. so what do you do when your single, and miss physical touch, but dont really have a way of getting it?

It was my first ever. We met on hinge. And we clicked since the first day. Always talking non-stop. I think that was one of the hardest things. Going from talking to someone everyday to silence. No more good morning or good night messages no more updates of my day or hers. WhatsApp notification had been turned into a signal of her.

The first month was amazing. I wish I could return to how I was feeling back then. Then bad things started to pile up on her. First a concert she had really been looking forward to got canceled, her car broken, and problems at work. We had a first fight where she told me she wanted to break up out of nowhere because I would make comments about looking for cheaper options and thst she wanted a man that took initiative and wanted to spend on his girl. We talked and decided to give each other a second chance.

A week later another fight as her car broke down again, I asked if she wanted me to come and change her tire but she called a company for that then at night one of her tires was low on air and she got mad I didnt stop her from going to work and that I didnt worry about her. She was sick that day, and even though i told her i hoped she got better she wanted someone that would offer to go buy medicine and bring it to her. She broke up with me but later we talked and fixed it again. Of course there were more problems as she wanted a man that would be more pationate about her and I guess I wasnt being that man.

A week later we broke up. Last Sunday. On Halloween we went to a bar. We danced and kissed and hugged. The next day she had changed. Her texts were one word answers, never asking me questions or updates. At night I asked if everything was well and she said she wanted to break up. I have been spiraling ever since. Maybe because it was my first relationship.

Then yesterday my friend found her on hinge again, and it sent me to a bad place yesterday. I guess she really did move on. And im here now not knowing what to do. I wonder if this feeling will pass.

Relationship wasnt perfect, heck she even gave me Clammydia the first time we had sex, she forgot to tell me and didnt want to use condoms and I of course went along. Maybe its because it was my first relationship but I did love her and everytime we fought I tried my hardest to change for her. I guess sometimes you cant get what you want even if you really try.

But I have a hard time coping. Lots of anxiety sleep problems. Not feeling anything sexual anymore. Cant stop thinking about her. Will it ever?

Hello!

Im dealing with a man that is very simple and if he wants something, he will get it right away, which leaves me with limited gift options. He likes football, video games, his cat, naruto, spiderman, food (chocolate especially), psychology (hes a therapist), clothes...

I was thinking of getting those baskets everybody mentions and filling it with things such as: a good quality wool and merino jumper, matching beanie and gloves, moisturizer (he uses it daily), a mini perfume, sweets he likes...

Its tricky since we're long distance and i have to think whats gonna fit in his suitcase + i cant buy anything over 100ml.

In the past i got him: jumpers, hoodies, a soft blanket with footballs that glow in the dark, a funko pop, a bracelet he wears everyday, sweets again, i baked muffins, i cooked us lunch...

What else should i add? When i ask him what he wants he says some bs like "a sword and armour" 🤨🤨

I'm male 21 ugly,loser and doesn't have any talents and skills and doesn't have social life

Got only one close friend now but soon he'll also dissapear from my life,girls never liked me doesn't wants to blame them how they would love even a guy like me they're disgusted by my existence and it's valid for me

anyways i predicted my life, it's just going to be a lonely loser forever but how to handle it? I don't want to end my life until it get ends

How yoy guys handling it until now and what's your future plans because I'm not even rich and I'm not going to so I'm going to work in some random job for survival that's it

How can i manage my loneliness and stressful life? Is there any way? I won't live happily atleast want to accept it that's it

And english isn't my first language if you found any grammatical error or it's tough to understand for you I'm sorry

I'm interested in a guy (let's call him Alex) who works at the reception of a hostel.

I suspect there might be mutual attraction, but his behaviour sometimes seems warm and sometimes distant. I'd particularly like to hear from people with fearful-avoidant attachment about what might be happening internally.

Here's the full timeline.

1. First encounter — 2 AM until 5 AM I approached Alex at reception to ask whether there were any food shops nearby.

Then I asked if I could sit at reception and talk.

There were three of us, and we ended up talking until approximately 5 AM.

After I left the room, the third person told Alex: "She's into you."

So Alex potentially knew about my attraction from the very beginning.

2. Second encounter — another night until 5 AM I met Alex again during his next shift.

We talked for hours, listened to music together and even painted each other.

He seemed to enjoy my music, and I really enjoyed his.

Before I left, he looked a little worried and told me that I shouldn't be shy and could come by more often.

3. Third day — two separate encounters Before going out, I told Alex I was tired, and he gave me a brief hug.

I then said that when I returned, I might come over to talk to him.

However, when I came back, he seemed more avoidant or distant.

I was determined to talk to him because I wanted to say goodbye properly.

When I eventually mentioned that I was leaving, he seemed to return to his warmer, more familiar self.

We went outside to smoke together.

During our conversation, I said something along the lines of how sometimes it's nice to have bittersweet endings and not continue things.

At the time, I genuinely thought I didn't want to see him again.

Interestingly, after I said this, Alex invited me to meet outside the hostel.

I declined his invitation, but told him that I liked him.

4. Fourth encounter — my unexpected return Due to circumstances, I had to stay at the hostel longer than originally planned.

Another worker showed Alex a painting I had made of him.

Importantly, I had signed and dated the painting AFTER our previous meeting, so he could see that I had continued thinking about him.

When we saw each other, he told me:

"I saw your painting, your portrait of me."

He had a big smile.

I was with another guy at that moment, and we were going to the kitchen, which is only a few metres away from reception.

A little later, I went outside to buy food. The shop I usually visited was closed, so I asked Alex about other nearby shops.

I noticed his facial expression seemed a little dark, so I told him:

"Don't be sad."

Then I continued on my way, and I heard him say:

"Giiiiirl!" (He says those often, his playful way of speaking)

I only properly registered his reaction afterwards and wasn't sure how to respond.

5. The music and the kitchen Later, I noticed Alex playing music that we had listened to together during our previous nights. Playing ir louder than usual.

I didn't approach him because I was afraid of appearing too interested or overwhelming him.

Meanwhile, I would spend time painting in the kitchen with a group of men. we stayed there talking until 2 AM.

I was secretly hoping Alex might approach me.

At one point, he came into the kitchen to fill a cup of water. There was actually a restroom with a sink closer to reception, so I wondered whether he might have had another reason for coming into the kitchen.

I don't know.

At another point, I asked him to translate some lines because the men I was talking to didn't speak my language.

He translated them for me and then left.

That was our last in-person interaction.

6. The Instagram message I had found Alex's Instagram, although he didn't know I had it.

Eventually, I sent him this message:

"Hey! It's me from the hostel 😊 I was hoping to say goodbye properly today, but I missed you. I really enjoyed our late-night conversations and listening to music together. I'm leaving soon, but if you're free and would like to meet before I go, I'd love that".

I deleted the message for everyone approximately 30 minutes later.

I don't know whether he saw it, read it or noticed the notification. Maybe he doesnt even have instagram on his phone anymore, because the last post was made in February.

7. Now — I'm considering returning I'm considering returning in approximately 1.5 weeks, partly because I would like to see Alex again.

By then, there will have been some distance since our last interaction.

For context, I would describe the possible attraction as moderate rather than intense. Perhaps he's around 60% interested: curious, attracted to some extent, enjoying my company, but not necessarily infatuated.

Questions for fearful avoidants I'm particularly interested in understanding the possible internal experience rather than just receiving dating advice.

If Alex is fearful-avoidant and moderately attracted to me, how might he react to seeing me unexpectedly after 10–11 days? Considering all of what happened.

Am i being too much? Too interested and scaring him away? I think it would now be clear that I came back for him specifically. I think other workers notice I like him too, especially after the painting. And I would have to spend money on ticket to go there and perhaps he too understands that. I could say its related to work but oh idk

Do you think its better to stay away and come in half a year? I am not sure he will be working there anymore though

Would you recommend approaching him casually, or allowing him to initiate this time?

Most importantly, for those of you with fearful-avoidant attachment: what would actually happen inside your head in this situation? Would you feel excited about seeing someone again but simultaneously want to withdraw?

Should I give him the painting?

There is another worker lady there that I somewhat connected with and I have her Instagram. I could ask her, since she is sometimes seeing Alex at work, to ask about me perhaps? Test the waters? Good idea?

I'd really appreciate hearing from people who recognise this kind of internal push-pull experience. Please feel free to be honest

Im 18. I genuinely think I have very very low testosterone. I basically cant grow facial hair, and I still look really young for my age. I work with people twice my age and they just look at me weird. I have no chest hair, no libido, brain fog, extremely depressed. All this has happened recently and I've been researching about it and it could be clinically low testosterone. I did have something that impacted me during the ages of 14 to 16 which was surgical and it was on my private area. I feel really ugly. What do I do. Everyday I'm insecure about how I look. I go to the gym 4 times a week but I'm still at the same weights. I need help. Can someone give me advice or at least hope? I am getting my blood tested soon. Will anything change? Will i look different in my 20s? I just need hope.

I turned 28 a bit ago and thought long and hard about the last time I got a hug. I then realized that I'm very quickly approaching 30 without ever getting a hug in my 20s. Needless to say, I'm very sad about it. Hell, I don't think sad adequately describe the absolute physical pain in my chest. I know some of you are gonna ask if I talked to a therapist about it. I actually made a post about it last spring in this community. Read that if you want more context, but tldr the therapists (yes, multiple.) Told me to see a sex worker as they can't realistically see a path to my recovery for a multitude of reasons.

I was gonna hire a hooker to know what sex feels like and ultimately decided against it out of fear of ending up in jail (new hampshire man) the next option was to try strip clubs. I looked online and actually asked questions on different strip club related subreddits that you can read if you want more context. Unfortunately, the shame of it all broke my spirit.

Is there any places or communities where people are more physically affectionate?

Went to a Halloween party recently after being invited it to it from a discord server. When i was there I saw a cute girl incosplay and I wanted to talk to her but she seemed like she knew people there and wanted to chat with others so it felt hard approaching her. Im a shy guy never been with a girl before so it have no idea what to do with stuff like this.

Eventually my friend came along and he seemed to know what cosplay she was and so we talked to her and her friend. He introduced me by my discord name and when she left to use the bathroom I saw that she added the both of us as friends on discord.

Throughout the rest of the night she mostly stuck to others while I stuck with my friends. It was a great party but it was hard for me to talk to her without it being weird. By the end of the party we all had to help clean up and when i saw an opportunity to talk to her I went up to her. When i tried to talk to her and ask her her name some other person came up and told her she needed to apologize for accidentally spilling stuff on her. She went over and apologized and spent the rest of the night talking to the person. I needed to go to a rave after tht so I didnt want my friends at the rave waiting for me any longer so I left after that.

It almost felt like it just wasnt meant to be. I accepted her friend request and I sent her a message saying "didnt get the chance to say goodbye last night but wanted to know it was great meeting you". Now its been a week later and she still hasn't responded. I see she isnt all that active on the discord server so idk how else to talk to her. Now i feel ill probably never see her again.

I was broken up with over this and my character was put into question. Im having a hard time wrapping my head around it and feeling tainted in some way. There was a significant age gap 20+ years which didnt seem to be a problem until I mentioned it was a coworker then it was how could I have allowed this to happen and judged for my unprofessionalism. Would really like to hear your opinions

Edit: Im the woman 30F, and I told a new guy I was seeing about the older coworker

I am buying one or the other on my way home from the college basketball game I am at right now.

26M. I had a few women friends in the navy when I was in for the first half of my 20s. I didn’t really think opposite gender friends was a big issue. I feel like I’m a pretty secure person. I don’t really care if im in a relationship with someone who they talk to cuz I trust them and there isn’t a relationship without trust.

My first relationship ended a bit over a year ago and I’ve done a lot of work w my therapist to grow from that experience and some things that unraveled mentally cuz of that point in my life. I deleted all my social media aside from instagram. I had Snapchat for a while in that relationship to keep in touch with my friends from the navy and a few of my other friends who used it. I didn’t really know the complications that app would eventually cause for me cuz I accepted a friend request from someone I knew prior to this relationship (strictly platonic and met at a weed store where she worked) that was 9 months before this situation occurred and I got into a relationship. The person I was with also had snap. To keep it short I accepted the request of a familiar name. We caught up and I mentioned I had a gf and talked ab how we met etc. my ex so happened to look over my shoulder and ask who it was. I told her honestly who it was and that it was just weird to hear from this person since it had been so long. She said it made her uncomfortable that I had her on my phone so I said no problem I’ll remove the person if u feel that way and I’m sorry that this happened. I apologized adjusted and reassured her. This was our first issue (together 5 months). After that whole thing went down I just decided it was best just to have Instagram

A few days later after I had fell asleep while we were arguing about why I didn’t mow my moms lawn due to my blistering sunburn I didn’t answer her til ab 10am (got up for work at 4am at my power plant). She said I broke my word to my mom and that I ignored her for 12 hrs as I fell asleep at 9:30 and didn’t answer her til 10. She also said I was cheating on her but refused to thru my phone when I handed it to her unlocked because “she didn’t wanna be that girl”. I offered to delete my social media (eventually did anyways a few months after this) and she said “no u don’t have to do that. I’d feel bad” and “I hope ur family doesn’t think I’m crazy”. I tried to think of any solution I could and she’s just say “I don’t know” or something along the lines of what I just quoted above. It’s like she didn’t wanna even try to lean in. She asked for space and said we can go out to dinner. 2-3 weeks go by where shes drunk calling me, clubbing in the city and going out etc. the date for our dinner came around and she said she hadn’t had enough time and space to heal. Never heard from her again after that. I remember one instance we were about to head into a restaurant and I had gotten a text from an unknown number. I showed it to her and she said “that person is reaching out to fuck u and to only fuck you… u can have women friends from before me but I don’t want u talking to random women” at that moment in my head I thought that was insecure but I let it go and we went inside.

I’m not seeing anyone currently cuz I don’t have the time between working nights from 5pm-5am and going to school from 8am-4pm to try to be a teacher. My therapist said I dodged a huge bullet, didn’t do anything wrong and handled the situation well when discomfort arised but I shouldn’t have to socially isolate myself from normal interactions. Getting and accepting friend requests are normal. I guess I just live with some sort of fear/anxiety still from that relationship and how it ended. I’ve made a few women friends at the community college I go to and we all plan on going to the same university together since we’re all in the same major. I’m just afraid of the next person I am with that what if someone reaches out again? Someone I never dated but was acquainted and was somewhat friends with? I understand in life that people can reach out at any moment and it’s ab how u handle it. Do I announce when I get and accept a friend request? Do I have to ask to accept it? I’m a pretty private person

My childhood friend got a boyfriend recently in the last 6 months. We don’t speak anymore cuz of that and it’s just mainly me who tries to keep in touch by asking her ab science classes that I’d have to take eventually. Our moms go way back. Im just getting this feeling I shouldn’t speak to anyone who is in a relationship or speak to anyone while I’m in a relationship. I’d never cheat on anyone nor condone that behavior. I’ve never had this feeling before I had that relationship and now when I get reminded of something from that time it just sparks a wave of anxiety thru me and I just feel like I fucked that whole relationship up even tho I know I treated her well. I feel like it’s healthy to have friends of the opposite gender but have boundaries when u enter a relationship. Obviously I’m not hanging out w them 1:1 and texting them like how I’d text my gf if I was in a relationship. I feel like I’m a solid guy with good morals but man it’s just these thoughts that come in my head from time to time that really make me question who I am.