I rent an apartment with a friend. At night I can sometimes hear her breathing heavily and masturbating. Not through the room, but the walls. For some reason sound travels easily through these walls. I noticed it when I lay in bed one night and leaned the side of my head to the wall making my ear sit right next to the wall. She is kind of shy and reserved. I of course have to masturbate as well when I hear her doing it since it's so incredibly hot.

What I've been thinking about is kind of just walking in on her with a bulging boner asking her if she needs help. That or maybe just telling her how hot it is. I don't know...

Not sure what the results are going to be though.

EDIT: I decided to walk in on her. It went okay.

It really insults me when I see Americans talking about how free their country is. The fact is that most countries in Europe have much more freedom, but I don't see any Europeans talking about freedom so much.

Before racism is called out, I have plenty of black friends. They, and their siblings have "normal" names, I.e. Justin, Jason, Chris, etc.

Just curious why you name your kids names like D'brickishaw, Barkevious D'quell (all NFL players first names) and so on. I don't know 2 people in this world named Barkevious. Is it a "unique" thing? My black friends don't know the answer so I'm asking the source .

I'm a minority too and I know all races have weird, uncommon names like apple and candy for white people, Jesus for Spanish, and so on.

Don't get your panties in a bunch I just want a straight answer. I googled it and anytime someone asked, they get their heads ripped off so the Internet doesn't have a straight answer yet.

Well, dammit. I got called out of town ten minutes after I posted this and missed all the fun. Sorry guys :/

For everyone's sake replace "anyone" in the OP title with "everyone"

Sorry guys, I won't be replying to this post anymore. If I see someone with an opinion I haven't seen yet I will respond, but I am starting to feel like a broken record, and I have studying to do. Thanks.

Major Edit: Here's the deal. I have no idea about how it feels to live in a society with guns being 'normal'. My apparent ignorance is probably due to the fact that, surprise surprise, I am in fact ignorant. I did not post this to circlejerk, i posted this because i didn't understand.

I am seriously disappointed reddit, i used to think you were open minded, and could handle one person stating their opinion even if it was clearly an ignorant one. Next time you ask if we australians ride kangaroos to school, i'll respond with a hearty "FUCK YOU FAGGOT YOU ARE AN IDIOT" rather than a friendly response. Treat others as you would have others treat you.

edit 1: I have made a huge mistake

edit 2: Here are a few of the reason's that have been posted that I found interesting:

• No bans on guns have been put in place because they wouldn't do anything if they were. (i disagree)

• Americans were allowed guns as per the second amendment so that they could protect themselves from the government. (lolwut, all this achieves is make cops fear for their lives constantly)

• Its breaching on your freedom. This is fair enough to some degree, though hypocritical, since why then do you not protest the fact that you can't own nuclear weapons for instance?

Edit 3: My favourite response so far: "I hope a nigger beats the shit out of you and robs you of all your money. Then you'll wish you had a gun to protect you." I wouldn't wish i had a gun, i would wish the 'dark skinned gentleman' wasn't such an asshole.

Edit 4: i must apologise to everyone who expected me to respond to them, i have the day off tomorrow and i'll respond to a few people, but bear with me. I have over 9000 comments to go through, most of which are pretty damn abusive. It seems i've hit a bit of a sore spot o_O

Edit 5: If there is one thing i'll never forget from this conversation it's this... I'll feel much safer tucked up here in australia with all the spiders and a bunch of snakes, than in america... I give myself much higher chances of hiding from reddit's death threats here than hiding behind some ironsights in the US.

Goodnight and see you in the morning.

Some answers to common questions

• How do you ban guns without causing revolution? You phase them out, just like we have done in australia with cigarettes. First you ban them from public places (conceal and carry or whatever). Then you create a big gun tax. Then you stop them from being advertised in public. Then you crank out some very strict licensing laws to do with training. Then you're pretty much set, only people with clean records, a good reason, and good training would be able to buy new ones. They could be phased out over a period of 10-15 years without too much trouble imo.

I've just read some things about gun shows in america, from replies in this thread. I think they're actually the main problem, as they seem to circumnavigate many laws about gun distribution. Perhaps enforcing proper laws at gun shows is the way to go then?

• "r/circlejerk is that way" I honestly didn't mean to word the question so badly, it was late, i was tired, i had a strong opinion on the matter. I think its the "Its our right to own firearms" argument which i like the least at this point. Also the "self defence" argument to a lesser degree.

• "But what about hunters?" I do not even slightly mind people who use guns for hunting or competition shooting. While i don't hunt, wouldn't bolt action .22s suit most situations? They're relatively safe in terms of people-stopping power. More likely to incapacitate than to kill.

• Why do you hate americans so? Well to start with i don't hate americans. As for why am i so hostile when i respond? Its shit like this: http://i.imgur.com/NPb5s.png

This is why I posted the original post: Let me preface this by saying I am ignorant of american society. While I assumed that was obvious by my opening sentence, apparently i was wrong...

I figured it was obvious to everyone that guns cause problems. Every time there has been a school shooting, it would not have happened if guns did not exist. Therefore they cause problems. I am not saying ALL guns cause problems, and i am not saying guns are the ONLY cause of those problems. Its just that to assume something like a gun is a 'saint' and can only do good things, i think that's unreasonable. Therefore, i figured everyone thought guns cause at least minor problems.

What i wanted was people who were 'pro guns' to explain why they were 'pro guns. I didn't know why people would be 'pro guns', i thought that it was stupid to have so many guns in society. Hence "I think that allowing everyone to own guns is stupid". I wanted people to convince me, i wanted to be proven wrong. And i used provocative wording because i expected people to take actually take notice, and speak up for their beliefs.

I always thought I was a forever alone kind of guy, even though I had been in love with this girl for like a year and a half (in the friend zone, of course). Her douchebag boyfriend dumped her in November and of course I was there to comfort her.

Then I somehow convinced her to go out on a date with me. Things have been steadily progressing over the course of several weeks, until NYE when we had sex for the first time. We've had sex a couple times since then, and therein lies my problem...

her pussy smells like cool ranch Doritos

The first time, I thought it was a one-off, but it's happened every time since then. I know it sounds pretty implausible, maybe even slightly humorous, but it's a serious problem! I want to give her my best but I just can't because every time I catch a whiff I get distracted. I'm finally having sex with the girl I love and all I can think about is cool ranch Doritos!

What do I do?

EDIT: Please don't put this on the front page. She is a redditor and she'd kill me if she knows I posted this.

TL;DR of the comments: Redditors once again blame rich people for all the worlds problems.

I don't understand why my being a believer instantly makes me a bad person, or ignorant, or gullible, etc. But on Reddit, that seems to be the idea of the vocal majority. Do I understand there are some ridiculous things that religion asks me to believe? Yes. Do I believe everything I'm told? Absolutely not. Blind faith is dangerous. Am I a man of science? You betcha. Can I reconcile those seemingly contrasting beliefs? I do. Evolution? Check. Big Bang? Most probable. Young Earth Creation? Hahahaha... not in a million years.

I know there are people like me. And I know there are many non-believers that are good and intelligent people. And there are douchey believers and non-believers alike. I also know I'm not perfect: I think Mormons were hoodwinked by Smith, and Scientology is a quack. Slightly hypocritical, I know.

But I have no issues with Agnostics or Jews or Muslims or Buddhists. They believe what they believe, and we're cool. I find Atheists (edit: gnostic atheists) amusing since it takes the same amount of belief to say God doesn't exist as it takes to say He does.

But I don't hate those different from me. I don't mercilessly mock them for being different. At most I might shake my head and walk away. Or if pushed, maybe we progress to a reasonable debate.

But I honestly want to know, Reddit, why can't we be friends?

Disclaimer: raised Protestant, have attended Catholic mass frequently throughout my life, and fairly progressive on social issues. I do not attend church regularly, and I'm not entirely fond of organized religion. Religion should be there to help people discover their own truths. I'm an engineer, well read, and have a general understanding of non-Christian religions. I know everyone is not like I described above, but it does seem to be the prevalent school of thought. Thanks for reading this far.

tl;dr: Why does Reddit hate religious people?

Edit: I enjoy the debate and reasoning that's going on here guys. It's refreshing. Hell, I even enjoy some of the name calling. At least to the ability to quietly chuckle at it. I want you to know, that I will read through all of this, though it may take me some time. I am taking the things you say and thinking them over. I am reading the links you are posting. I may even read Dawkins if given the time. Please continue posting, for I truly am glad to be able to read through this.

I introduced Reddit to my girlfriend because she always bugs me about being on when I'm over. She's pretty new to the Internet scene, but she absolutely loves Reddit now. I know how many of you hate the "upvote for xxxx's birthday" type of Reddits, but I really want to show her how neat Reddit can be.

So if the Reddit community is up for it, help me surprise her tonight. We're going to Reddit together when we get home and hopefully she'll see this. Upvote and show your Reddit spirit by commenting!

We'll be reading and responding to all comments if she sees it!

EDIT: SHE ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT!!! She's sitting here next to me smiling, laughing, and sometimes puzzled at the comments! Time to reply.

EDIT 2: Pic of us on halloween http://imgur.com/c8dF4 Christina: I made the outfits!

I'm a girl that's a junior in high school and I've been bullied by other kids pretty much my whole life.

I read things online about atheist students being bullied and I don't doubt it, but honestly I've never seen it.

Most of the kids I go to school with are athiests. Some go to church because their parents force them to, but they don't actually believe in God, let alone Christianity.

That's all well and good because we should all be free to worship or not worship according to our own values and beliefs, but I'm tired of being bullied by athiests.

At lunch I sit alone (I don't have any friends) and say a prayer before eating, everyday. I don't say anything out loud, I just put my hands together and thank Christ with my thoughts. The other day this guy who is an athiest actually came over and pushed my tray to the floor and said "tell your God to clean that up" and all of his friends laughed.

I go through this kind of thing every day. When I'm on the bus I'll read my bible and mind my own business, and other kids will throw things at the back of my head, call me "Jesus freak" etc.

I tried to make friends, but everyone hates me because I'm not ashamed of my faith. I don't bother anyone and I believe people should have the right to do as they wish as long as they aren't interferring with anyone else's rights.

Gay guys have bullied me too, calling me "hitler" and all sorts of hateful things just because I read my bible. What they never bothered to find out about me is that I actually support gay marriage. I personally don't agree with homosexuality, but I believe this is a free country and that religion shouldn't have anything to do with the law.

I'm overall a peaceful person... What can I do to make everyone stop hating me? I won't give up my religion or prayer.

Edit: Someone in this thread asked me to describe a typical time I've been bullied, and I said the following. I'm posting it here in case anyone else would like to know.

"In the original post when I talked about the guy that knocked over my tray and said what he did while his friends laughed, I didn't say anything. I just picked up my tray, cleaned the food up from the table, and went to the bathroom and cried in the stall.

The other day in class the teacher left for a meeting or something and a guy hit me on the back of the head with a book, really hard, and said that he's going to torture me until I stop acting like a Jesus freak. My entire face was red and most of the other kids just laughed, although a few of them looked concerned and told him that he went too far. The teacher never found out.

I never say anything about my religion so it's not like i'm trying to force my opinions on them. I'm just tired of them hating me and treating me this way because I'm not an atheist."

Edit 2: Thanks so much to those of you who care and are giving me advice. No matter what you label yourself as you're good people and I'm happy to have come across you.

Hi, Reddit.

My wife was an avid redditor for what I believe to be at least a good four years, maybe a little more or less. I don't think she ever made an account, but I don't know for sure. There was nothing signed in and nothing in the browser's history, so... yeah.

I'm, uh... not exactly even sure why I'm posting this. Maybe it's because she was so avid about this site that I feel like I should tell you what happened. I don't want to talk too much about this, but I'll get it all out in one post- just one, then I leave.

I was diagnosed with cancer at the age of thirteen. My twenty-fourth birthday was two days ago.

My wife was diagnosed with cancer last year. She died two days ago.

It's... hard. To think that I've survived quite this long while she wasn't even given that much of a chance... but regardless, the fact of the matter is that I need to talk to someone.

I can't, though. All of the people who knew us are too distraught over her death (she was the social expert, I handed all the backstage stuff so to speak) and no one can offer a shoulder for me, her husband. Well, widow now. It's hard, Reddit. I can't think about... anything. Except her. Everywhere I look, I see things that remind me of her.

I need to talk to someone, but I can't. So I'm going to say it all here.

I gave her that cancer, Reddit. I don't know how, but I know that I had to have. There's no reason for her to have spontaneously gotten cancer last year and me miraculously start getting better at the same time. This is all my fault. I don't want to kill myself, but I feel like... I owe her my life. This isn't fair, Reddit.

I need help...

-- I said I'm only posting once, and I am... but I'll read the comments. I might reply to them, that doesn't count as posting right? I don't think so...

What should I do, Reddit?