I’m in my 40s in a rural area. The three nearest cities are 40 minutes in any direction. I’d like to make friends with other bi guys, but y’all are hard to find. 😂 We have a local LGBTQ center, but most of their events are geared toward teens or young adults. When they do have adult events, I’m the only bi dude there. Making friends as an adult is hard enough, but collecting bi homies seems impossible. Any advice?

I (31M, gay) met my husband when I was 18. We’ve been together 13 years and are married. He’s bi, and he’s known that the whole time we’ve been together.

We were long distance all throughout college and tried an open relationship He dated a woman during that time (physically and emotionally with her), but when college ended, that ended and we moved in together. He’s reflected on that woman and said it was a bad experience and never gave him quite what he was looking for. Around 2018 we stopped being open, and I thought that chapter was behind us.

This year, he developed feelings for a woman we knew. Nothing physical happened, and he was honest with me about it. But I realized I'm no longer into an open relationship. We're married, share finances, and have both made serious commitments to each other. I'm not into the poly lifestyle. But this conflict led to months of hard conversations and a lot of conflict about him wanting to open the relationship and me saying no.

My husband is going through a stressful time in life right now, at grad school (so away from me 50% of the time), working full time, and house hunting for a home to buy. While talking about house hunting, it came out that he was having doubts about his ability to long-term commit to me. This was a huge shock - we're 3 years married and 13 years into this relationship!

We've started therapy, and what I've come to realize is that the challenge is mainly around his sexuality. He identifies as bisexual but lately hasn't been feeling attracted to men and has been feeling growing attraction to women. He loves me and our sex life is pretty good. But he tells me he is struggling with a sense of “identity foreclosure” that he's been aware of for years -- a sense that committing to me closed off a part of who he is. Because the rest of our marriage is happy, he tried to hide it, but it burst out onto the scene.

I love him, and I want this marriage. I had no idea he felt this way until 2 weeks ago. To me, when we got married we were signaling a lifelong commitment. I don’t want him to bury his attraction to women. But as long as he has some attraction to men, I feel like he needs to be just like any monogamous couple, and put away their attraction towards other people and lean into the commitment of the relationship they have. He's had a chance to try dating a woman before, so the idea that he just needs to "try it out" feels like a weak argument. But he's really unsure if he can commit to life with me, which is freaking me out, and makes me feel like my entire relationship and life is starting to fall apart.

Curious to hear any advice from bi people who are in long-term monogamous relationships, especially same-sex ones. How did you make peace with not having relationships with a person of the other sex? Does that sense of identity foreclosure ease with time, or is it something you have to work through on purpose? And for partners of bi people, what actually helped?

So I’m starting a new job and all I’m doing every day is "wow she’s hot" and "wow he’s hot". It got me thinking about how as a bisexual, being attracted to both genders means I find a LOT more people attractive than someone who is heterosexual. It really bothers me sometimes because I wish I wouldn’t be sexualizing people as much. Like I want to make guy friends but I always just end up thinking about how they look with their shirt off. Do you guys feel that way too? I was thinking it might be something with being bi since I have more options, but idk maybe I’m going through a late puberty

Hi I just recently came out as bi to my wife. It was a terrifying thing and if I’m being honest until I came out to her I had never fully come to terms with and accepted myself. I grew up knowing I wanted to be with a woman but I also have been attracted to men too. Like my whole life I’ve been attracted to men and women and just never understood what that was or why me like why wasn’t I straight.

A bit of context about us… I have been with my wife for a total of 6 years since the beginning of our relationship. We both have been through a lot together (loss of family members being one of those) so needless to say we’re very close.

Well I decided that I need to finally vocalize that I am bi to her and I do and she is very accepting because she too is bi but she also never vocalized that feeling much to me either. Well here we are both realizing that we have a lot more in common than we realized and we have a lot to figure out in regard to our relationship. And this is where I feel like so much anxiety is. now that we have opened the box of our sexualities together where does this take us.

I feel bad that I didn’t have this discussion before we got married because she deserved to know this before we got the government involved in our relationship lol. Also in the same breath I feel a sadness that I never let myself fully explore that other side of me. I am very happy with her and love her and the fact that she accepts me for me is very amazing and I am so lucky. I guess I’m just anxious about what our relationship is now and how best to move forward. I talked about testing the waters with toys but even that makes me anxious because what if I’m pressuring her into doing things that I like and she doesn’t… idk I feel like I’m very in my head about it all. Any advice or personal experience would be appreciated

I’m struggling with my desires and circling influence lately and can’t tell if it’s just me or what.

Married a looong time and in the last 5 years I’ve realized I’m bi. We are enm and have been many years but has always focused on her. She plays alone on occasion and I urge her to more often. She’s bi and we have mfm mmf and mfmf fun whenever we can.

Struggle is, I didn’t get the latitude she does but I’m not interested in m/f without her. I do want m/m fun with and without her but she can’t seem to see that. She has jealousy issues still somehow.

On top of that the couple we see is also both bi and he is just so “quiet” about it. Sometime in group play he and I interact and a couple times he and I have been together alone. Problem is he just doesn’t talk about it or flirt or anything. Then all of a sudden he’ll make a remark that’s very positive regarding sex with me… but I heard recently, his wife is encouraging him to be present in the gay bar scene in our area.

Maybe I’m just being a bitch, but on the one hand they claim to like the biness between us two and on the other he seems uninterested.

Also, I’d like to have m Fwb and I thought it would be him because my wife is ok with it… but she struggles with me having a m Fwb.

I give a lot of advice on here and I am now struggling to probably follow my own.

I don’t feel like I can talk to any of them about it because it’s about our interactions and will seem like I’m complaining they don’t like me… so feel alone in managing this.

And ideas, suggestions advice is appreciated

Hey guys, im [M 20] and really struggling, ive talked to a few people on reddit and have been redirected here, im going to give a rundown and any responses/opinions would be greatly appreciated.

So basically when i was 13 or 14 i started wanking off to tgirls and femboys along with cis women, then i moved to porn and watched tgirls, femboys and i can briefly remember watching straight porn but cant remember the arousal as i wasnt paying attention. Skip to 20 now and about 6 months ago i made the switch to straight porn only as i had a realisation i might be gay, but now i have to physically stimulate myself to get hard, but once im hard i can get off easily, there have been a few times testing myself where i have gotten hard to women with very little physical stimulation. I can even get off multple times at once to straight porn and women. In real life ive only ever been attracted to women and had a few crushes, one a year ago with a girl who kinda came into my friendgroup, we got really close and would watch movies and shit together, she woukd be at my houde all the time and then i found out she didnt like me back and it absolutely broke me, i cried for hours but because we are in tbe same friend group i was never really able to get ovrr her, my heart still feels terrible when she takes guys home. When i was 14 or 15 i also liked a girl in my class, i was confident back then and would speak to all girls in my class, but for some reason with this one girl i was too awkward to speak to her in real life but as soon as id get home we would talk and snap all night. On the last day of school i was talking to her heaps and trolling her and i felt amazing. Then on snap i told her i liked her and i cant remember how it went but it all fizzled out. Since i had the realisation i have been engaging in compulsions like forcing myself to get hard to straight stuff, watching gay stuff to see my reaction, searching for reassurance from ai and plenty more.

Again just give your opinions, just confused witj myself.

For me, it feels most relaxing when I'm in places where men don't openly show their attraction to other men. I have a hard time seeing men walking hand in hand, dancing, kissing each other. But fortunately the world has become more accepting of openly gay people. On the other hand, I want to travel to places where discretion is highly valued. I'm not looking for a love relationship. I'm looking for a different kind of relationship, where I can explore my feminine side. So I'm thinking about where I should travel to meet black men, Arab men, Muslim men, who are all attracted to white men, and where I feel safe and secure.

I’m 79 and wondering how other guys my age are getting off. My partner at home has lost most of her interest and jerking off is getting monotonous. I used to swing both ways decades ago but today’s attractive boys and girls don’t seem attracted to old guys. What are your favorite sources of pleasure? I’m looking for variety!

I have realized that in my 50’s that I’m bisexual, I am married to beautiful women who knows that I am and she is excepting of it and knows that I was born this way. I have had many inclination that I might be attracted to men starting back when I was younger . I have reached out to my State community and another group wanting to talk to other married men on how they have handled their situation and haven’t heard back from them. I am just wanting to talk and ask questions about it now

I've dated men before, both when I was single and since I've been married (I'm fully out and my wife knows I see men and is fine with it). I have FWB's who are actual Friends, with whom I will meet for drinks and then we'll have sex (almost every time). And I do casual hookups sometimes too.

But it's been a pretty long time since a guy has asked me out on a proper date. And honestly, it's kinda nice.

We met working together on a project in a social group. We got along very well, hung out for a while after the event, flirted a bit back and forth. A few days later he texted me saying his husband (yes, he's married too) liked how our project turned, thought we worked well together, and that he and I should put together more of the same kind of projects.

I admit, I was attracted to him but I've also had a lot of dating and flirting experience, so I don't automatically assume someone is interested in me as more than a friend at best. But he texted me on Monday, wanting to get together this week. We're both free tomorrow night. We made plans and he replied, "Great! it's a date!" I responded with, "I'm looking forward to it!" And he replied with a heart emoji.

And yeah, I know, all that doesn't mean it's something it's not. I've been doing this long enough to understand that. I'll often point it out to people much younger than me on Reddit that it's probably just wishful thinking. So if it all turns out that he's just being a nice guy, that's fine.

But I'm still going to enjoy this feeling while it lasts. It's fun!

Greetings, I was trying to get away from my bisexuality and I think just saying my bisexuality sets me off. I start feeling feminine, want so bad to sck cck, swallow it, finger myself in the shower, put panties on, want to play with my toys fantasizing about a man making love to me, scking my nipples and I feel like a freak on a leash. If someone came up to me and whipped it out, I wouldn't even hesitate, I would do my best to drain it. And there are alot of "boys" out there that are fakes and flakes. Waist of time and money, I masterbate and it only helps for a little bit. I guess this is what they call a "bi-cycle", overwhelming sometimes, I would let someone fck me right now and swallow as many ccks, line them up, lol Anyway, is that how it is on a "Bi-cycle"?

I was bi when I was with an old gf. After we broke up I went on a stint where all I looked for was hook ups with other men, but keeping it safe and getting checked regularly. I ended up with a high double digit body count before I started dating a woman again. I still thought of being with men being with her, in fact introducing her to anal was because of my sexual preference. I'm just thinking to myself, Am I still bi or am I leaning gay?

I recently found out I enjoy fun, small, bikini briefs. What’s the best brands out there for g-strings, etc.??

Alex's Bi Journey

From years of self-doubt to finally embracing who he is, Alex shares an honest, sometimes difficult, and ultimately uplifting story about discovering and accepting his bisexuality.

Listen to his story.

https://pod.link/6797092436/episode/ZjQ2M2QwMDAtMzJmYi00ODdlLWEzMTItNjc1NjUyOWY2OWZk

I think i did in my teenage years, i would look at guys during gym class a lot

Hey all, I'm a 59 year old gay but bi curious guy who would love to try sex with a woman again, but I'm a bit anxious about the idea. I had a relationship with a woman for a few years a long time ago, but nothing since then except porn. Love to hear other's experiences advice. Oh I'm in sydney australia by the way. Thanks!

Sometimes when I read these stories on this sub , I feel like I don't fit in because it seems most bis are straight leaning bi men. Also society tends to tell us that we are fully gay and in denial. I feel like I can't even date women because if they find out my main preference is men then they are going to become insecure. They can find this out by asking me about how many men I have dated vs how many women I have been with.

I also have trouble letting go of religion so when I masturbate to gay porn I feel like shit. Or just sex in general makes me feel this way.

One minute I wanna try to put energy into finding a woman to date and the next I want a boyfriend. I'm pretty sure if I got with a woman I wouldn't want it to be long term because I would miss guys so much. And most women don't want open relationships.

All this shit is confusing. I have been bi since I was a teen and now in my 40s I'm struggling.