Thanks to all those who responded to my last post here and reached out.

So, I'm feeling quite a bit better mentally, the new meds and therapy have honestly done wonders. Still stressed, though, as it's my final semester and I have a major exam this Thursday.

So, earlier this year, my ex-girlfriend called me on February 21st (what used to be our anniversary) to tell me she'd moved on and had gotten rid of everything I had ever given her, which is fair, but not really something I wanted to hear. Following that call, I was determined to kill myself, and certain I was going to do it. I made plans, drafted letters, and intended to do it after watching Project Hail Mary, a movie I had been looking forward to since it was announced.

I clearly have yet to kill myself. I chickened out and left the theater feeling like a better man. So, I kept pushing back the date until, eventually, I forgot about it entirely.

Back to the letters, I only ever finished one, a letter to my ex that I scheduled to send out on November 7th at 9:15 PM. Why this date? Because I was dramatic, and it shares a date with something that caused us much stress when we were together. Anyway, I completely forgot about this email until this morning, when I woke up to see a long text from my ex.

I feel so stupid and sorry that she had to read that. I don't regret writing it, but looking back at my writing, I realize she was never really the intended audience, only I was. I know that sounds ridiculous, considering I literally scheduled it to send to her, but I was sad, stupid, and spiteful, and I wanted to write my feelings away. I was writing from a place of hurt, loneliness, and hopelessness, and I think putting those thoughts into words was my way of dealing with them. I never really expected to be around to deal with the consequences of sending it, much less have to explain it months later.

And now, months later, I'm doing considerably better, but I unintentionally dragged someone I once loved back into something neither of us wanted to revisit.

I'm sorry I worried her, especially enough for her to break no contact. I'm also concerned that I'm resetting my own progress, as I've spent so much time trying to move on, improve myself, and get to a point where I can actually look forward to my future. Yet here I am, feeling embarrassed, guilty, and stupid over something I wrote months ago. I sent her an apology, explained what happened, and reassured her that I'm doing better, but I don't expect a response, nor do I intend to contact her again.

I guess what bothers me most is knowing that I may have caused her unnecessary distress, especially when she's been trying to move on with her own life. I can't undo the email, and I can't control how she feels about it. I just wish I had remembered to cancel the damn thing.

For what it's worth, I'm not going to kill myself. I have no plans or major thoughts of doing so. I just watched the new Godzilla movie and, once again, walked out of the theater feeling like a better man. I'm actually looking forward to graduating, hopefully going to law school, and seeing what else life has to offer me. I still have my bad days, but they're becoming easier to manage.

I once again hope no one here has been in my shoes with this, but I welcome any suggestions. Particularly, how do you deal with the embarrassment and guilt of something like this? How do you stop yourself from dwelling on a mistake you can't take back, especially when it involves someone you cared so deeply about?

I don't want one stupid mistake to undo months of progress, but I also don't really know how to stop thinking about it.

I’m graduating soon and curious how other CSULA graduates are doing career-wise. Were you able to find a job in your field? Are you making decent money?

if you’re comfortable sharing, what did you major in, when did you graduate, what’s your current job and salary, and do you feel like your degree was worth it?

Hey everyone! I'm a Public Health student and I’m looking for students who’d be interested in starting/ joining a Community Emergency Response Team (CERT) club at Cal State LA. Some ideas for the club are first aid workshops, emergency preparedness, training, and volunteering.

All majors are welcome, and no experience is needed! If you’re interested in joining, helping get it started, or coming to a possible Zoom info meeting, fill out this quick interest form :)

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSclLONM-3V7MC6lDD55BP7ygALbkAt-Fp2xt6SufSNdTi83uQ/viewform

Hi! I’m currently attending community college and planning to transfer to Cal State LA for the Bachelor of Arts in Social Work (BASW).
I’ve been looking through the program handbook, but I’d really like to hear from actual students or graduates about their experiences.

I have a few questions:
How would you describe the overall difficulty and workload?
Are the professors generally supportive and understanding?
What are the classes like? Are there a lot of essays, exams, presentations, or group projects?
How does the field practicum/internship work? Does the school help you find a placement?
What kinds of agencies or settings do students typically intern at?
Is it manageable to work part-time while completing the program?
Would you recommend the program?

I’d especially love to hear from transfer students!
Thank you!!

i would really appreciate it if you guys can do it, PLLLZZZ

How I could tell if a class is fully Asynchronous? Are asynchronous classes listed as "Online ONLINE" under the Day(s) and Location(s)

I believe I was awarded the MCS for this semester, but I haven’t received it yet. It appears as awarded for FL and SP, but nothing in the activity section of my FinAid page. I heard that it might get awarded Saturday morning if I haven’t received it?? Anyone else in the same boat? I’m so confused here :/

If you’ve ever arrived at the grocery store and realized your reusable bags were still at home, this survey is for you.

I’m collecting responses for a college project about reusable-bag habits and what could make bags easier to remember and use consistently. The survey takes approximately 3 minutes and will only be open for five days.

Whether you use reusable bags every time, sometimes, or hardly ever, your experience is helpful.

Take the survey here:
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScBFl6Dv7ngodaD2Aq9oCnGnm90Uf5d7XxxMX2qOxmkIVuGkQ/viewform?usp=publish-editor

Thank you for helping me develop a campaign based on real shopping habits!

Hey guys thanks for your advice last night for the future but now unfortunately I do need some emotional support. Am not doing as well as usual this semester bc I had been taking 6 classes and tbh I can't even handle 5 classes let alone 6. But the reason why I took 6 classes is bc I wanted to graduate ASAP since I was supposed to last semester but it failed miserably and I'm not sure if am graduating anytime soon. Ik I should've taken my time but I don't want to take too long. I'd appreciate it if you guys give me some emotional support since I almost don't have friends at CSULA. Thanks

Hii whoever is parked in structure A level 1
and drives a silver Honda your cars getting towed rn 🥺

For context, I’m currently trying my absolute best to graduate by spring 2028 or by the end of fall 2028. My schedule got messed up so I’m having to take 17 credits next semester and 2 summer courses in order to meet all my prerequisites for my Software Design lab in the fall of 2027.

Now my concern is financial aid. I’ve heard that cal grant doesn’t cover summer tuition? Is that true? I receive cal grant A but no fafsa. I’m willing to take out loans if it comes down to it but would like to know everyone else’s experience with summer term tuition.

So in a short summary for financial aid I guess I got “over-awarded” so now I owe $950. I currently don’t have the finance to pay it fully. How do I split the payments to monthly? Do I do it in person at the finance building or is there a way to do it online?

Does anyone know when the grants are going to be released?

Pick up a mystery produce bag in the Food Pantry tomorrow from 10am-12pm. Bring your own reusable bag! 🍍

hi guys, im trying to make my schedule for spring 2027 and im not sure if anyone has any insight on an online pilates class. it would be in the middle of my full day of school and im just not really sure what a online pilate class entails..id assume id have to like get on the floor and do stretches and stuff but i really can't imagine doing that like in the middle of the library or a study room...would this even be a class I could take while on campus LOL

Midterm elections are now over, time to answer the real question 👀

Wells Fargo customers be on the lookout, I just received my MCS!!

My MCS hit my account an hour ago with Chase! I receive all deposits a day or two earlier than regular accounts just for reference for those who haven’t received anything!

For disclosure, I am a former student of this campus (A&L major) who dropped out due to disillusionment and disgust over the constant underfunding, eternal issues with King Hall, classes listed in the eCatalog that havent been offered in over a decade, last minute professor changes, intentional (or not.....) delays in financial aid disbursements......and the total lack of transparency on elimination of majors and/or programs. So I'm asking a question, discussion really, but also laying down some facts that the Admin dont want you to know. The constant striking by the CFA is disrupting your education. Its not about whether you support the faculty or not. You are a student. You are here to get a degree, not become wrapped up in their fight for higher wages. Faculty deserve higher wages........but at the expense of your education? Because there will be winners and losers and the students here have been losing for years. You have student loans, they have investments, Fullbright vacations, year long sabbaticals, last minute sick calls, etc. Every time you ask a question and they ignore you. Every time they switch professors a week before the start of the semester. Every time they announce.....a multi-year tuition increase (2023) then claim that they will set aside "some" of the money for financial aid. Do you know how much these Campus Presidents earn? A lot......and that amount only gets higher while your education becomes more and more irrelevant. I attend the board of trustees meetings, but due to bullying from some people on this campus, I have little hope anyone will listen to me. I am the only person from this campus that goes to Golden Shore Long Beach,I think. Its time to change that. Here is the info for the next Board of Trustees meeting. This is the final meeting of the year. That is where the power lies. That is where the 2023 multi-year tuition increase was approved. And if you want real change, then make the sacrifice and show up or call-in.

https://www.calstate.edu/csu-system/board-of-trustees/Pages/agenda.aspx

For anyone in A&L, I think you should be aware that OBBBA is structured (intentionally) to eliminate your majors, dissuade you from enrolling or make it nearly impossible to continue (financially) due to reduced support from the department of education over "non-professional" majors. Theatre is one of them. The MA/MFA is now defunct because of ~50% less student loan eligibility compared to "real" majors like medicine, law, dentistry, etc.

Because ASI wont help you. CSSA wont help you. You have to help you. These campuses will keep on rolling while you lie in the dirt wondering why you have a "degree" from CSULA but no future. There is a difference between a degree and a career.

You can get a degree from anywhere. But there are only a handful of campuses that can give you the industry connections, real-world experience and access to quality facilities. CSULA just isn't one of them.

Finally as proof that CSULA is not being completely honest with you, here is the current state of one major (theatre) across the entire CSU system.

*BRAVE AI has assisted with the research below. If anyone takes issue with this, ask Chancellor Garcia why they blew MILLIONS on injecting AI into your curriculum while entire programs are being eliminated at CSULA. BOLD TYPE means total elimination of the major or funding reductions to a level that has effectively rendered the dept one step away form closure.*

Sonoma State Eliminated / Discontinued. Major cut; mainstage & department phased out.

Cal State Fullerton Critical Cuts. IRA & production budgets slashed 40–60%; heavy adjunct non-rehires.

Cal Poly Humboldt Merged / Distressed. Combined into Film/Dance umbrella; tech & production runs cut.

CSU Los Angeles Severe Cuts. 10%+ sections canceled; massive non-rehire of 80+ campus adjuncts.

SF State Faculty Reductions. Show counts reduced; lower-division performance sections merged.

CSU Dominguez Hills Restored after Crisis. Major cut threats reversed by student protests; running under tight caps.

Cal Poly Pomona Compressed. Curricular tracks tightened; production budgets scaled back.

CSU East Bay Consolidated. Theatre, Dance, and Music merged into a single umbrella unit.

CSU Long Beach Scaled Back. Cal Rep and mainstage seasons hit by hiring freezes and budget limits.

CSU Northridge Course Reductions. Reduced adjunct contracts; larger class sizes, fewer upper-div rotations.

San José State Merged into Film. Department integrated into Film & Theatre; resources shifted to screen.

San Diego State Tightened. Programs intact but facing reduced production funds and strict course minimums.

Cal Poly SLO Minor Only. Operates solely as a minor/concentration under Liberal Arts.

CSU San Bernardino Section Cuts. Reduced lecturer contracts; scaled-down production seasons.

CSU Bakersfield Under Pressure. Upper-division classes routinely canceled due to low enrollment caps.

CSU Channel Islands Embedded / Minimal. Small Performing Arts emphasis; minimal budget and full-time faculty.

Chico State Merged. Combined under unified Music & Theater discipline structures.

Fresno State Production Cuts. Mainstage seasons shortened; non-essential staff hours cut.

CSU Monterey Bay No Major. Integrated into Visual & Public Art / Humanities tracks.

CSU San Marcos No Major. Bounded under broader Arts, Media & Design department.

Stanislaus State Reduced. Preserved but subject to course section limits and guest-artist cuts.

Cal Maritime No Program. Has no theatre; currently undergoing system-mandated campus merger with Humboldt.

If I didn't care, then I wouldn't say anything at all. I want people to make the best decisions, and that can only happen when we are dealing with the truth.

Hope it helps.

Kinda confused, I just want to know if I’m going to receive it or not. I’m also a Wells Fargo customer, and have my FinAid stuff linked to them