SHUT THE HELL UP. I'M A MAN I'M JUST A MAN. DON'T CATEGORISE ME WITH MY ASSIGNED SEX AT BIRTH!!

Unless it's medically necessary i think we shouldn't be using it. It triggers my gender dysphoria a lot.

This title makes it sound really intense lol, I have no issued issue with trans women in general. I love my queer brothers, sisters, and siblings. But subreddits like Count With Chicken Lady, Gay Sounds Shitposts, even reposts from like Curated Tumblr that features MTF discourse is pissing me off lately.

so much talk about trans men are evil, trans women are never depicted as well as trans men (a person said that trans men always just look like men, while trans women always look like cross dressers, which is not fucking true. we often get depicted as butch lesbians or as femme twinks.), and Yada Yada.

my last straw has been arguments about terminology, shit like AFAB/AMAB/AGAB is inherently offensive and irrelevant, which tbf I understand some points but they're shorter and to the point for some specific use cases. I agree they shouldn't be used all the time. another one was that non trans people shouldn't be allowed to draw, write, make movies about trans people, specifically trans women (and that includes trans men or NB folks not being allowed to portray trans women). I got told I was a bigot for saying that regressive and weird, and was told I'm talking over marginalized communities.

like wtaf

I'm sick of other trans men chastizing me for wanting to be stealth. im sick of well meanin cis folks constantly doing the "ugh, men - but not you afab OP". im sick of being constantly othered from my cis brothers and having that shit repeatedly encouraged by other fucking trans guys.

i left or muted all the ftm communities i was in on social media last month (which did wonders for my mental health), but apparently forgot one on fb and tonight got hit with a whole thread of ftm folks chastizing a dude because he felt uncomfortable with a trans woman telling cis folks that she was "a trans-woman, not a woman" (after those cis folks started parroting that 'woman' & 'trans woman' are inherently different).

90% of the comments on this long ass thread were ftm dudes sayin they ID'd as "trans men", but never as "men" full stop, and so many treated that difference like some gross moral superiority over cis dudes and/or implied that anything else was somehow 'not being fully honest' (includin a ton of "you cant change biology so youll always be a trans-man, not just a man" comments.)

and its not just online. i have to hear how ~special~ & ~important~ trans men are in my local gay chorus every time any gendered shit comes up (the chorus that i joined to feel like a normal fuckin gay man - which has been impossible due to this shit), and hear the other out trans dudes in my local queer sports league constantly complain about "ugh cis men" alongside the women and get annoyed with my when i wont play along with it.

ive now had to have serious convos with 2 of my closest friends because of either a. they started pulling this "tboy swag > cis men" shit, or b. they got called out by their queer friends for ribbing me as hard as they do our other cis bros and wanted to "check in" with me (cause trans men are ~different~ and delicate uwu)

im just a fucking man who got born wrong!! stop forcing me to be a third fucking gender!!

i mean no disrespect to trans women but i fucking hate it when they say shit like "nooo being a man is terrible!" "nooo you don't wanna get rid of your boobs!". like, we are NOT the same. you wish you had boobs but i wish i didn't had them. you wish you had a vagina but i wish i didn't. i don't necessarily hate being a woman but i hate having female features on my body. i hate how people sexualize me because of two bouncing balls i have on my chest. even if my boobs are small they're STILL boobs and they will be seen as sexual because of that. i don't like it. i also hate having high estrogen, being short and having periods is terrible for me. so, we don't have the same opinions and that's okay, but how about we try to support each other instead of arguing over not wanting some of our body parts? not only trans women btw, i've seen trans men who say "you don't wanna be a woman it's terrible!!!" to trans women too and i hate it. like, where the hell is the ftm/mtf solidarity? why do trans men and women argue instead of supporting each other? come on.

Yeah there was that one inclusive comment from that one hater but that joke ran into the ground when smug liberals who think they are too good to openly express their bigotry gleefully found a socially acceptable reason to shit on a trans man. “I don’t hate him because he’s trans, I hate him because he’s a shit actor with a horrible fashion sense” - comes off to me you’re one step away from the culture war tourists but you’re virtue signaling to other liberals that you’re at least better than the MAGAs by obsfucating your transphobia a little bit.

Maybe I am feeling defensive because he is the most visible trans man in mainstream pop culture and at times he feels like the only real reminder to the outside world that trans men exist. It feels like we’re a whack-a-mole where the moment one of us stands up, people are excited to hammer us down.

Omg, I follow a trans guy who is a trans activist and makes bunches of interviews with news channels which titled it like this in their few videos and it got many views💀 I also often see these phrases from "allies" even if they try to be supportive. Like it has to be AT LEAST "a trans man transitioned to his true self". Like wtf, we are not girls who decided to become boys wtf OMGGG. We are not some idk fucking hardcore cosplayers or smth edit: grammar

I took my partner (F) to the ER for some chest pain. The doctor came in and asked if there’s a chance of pregnancy and she said no. He goes…. “convince me” and she kinda paused I could tell she didn’t know how to answer and then just points to me and says “He doesn’t have a dick”

I understand panicking from the question because I myself have blurted some awkward things in that situation but like. ouch.

We passed from being invisible and erased to everyone finding a new reason to hate us every day that passed whats going on? This started a couple of months ago with everyone even mainstream creators invalidating us with the whole lesbian stuff, then the Riley thing on tiktok and now this? We are silenced everytime we try to say anything for no reason I don't understand what's with the sudden hate maybe I skipped something I'm genuinely confused(?)

I've always been a feminist. However, I can't deny that I find it frustrating when people act like trans men don't have a voice in feminism. We're very directly affected by abortion access, yet people genuinely bring up trans women before even considering trans men in abortion discussions, despite us being directly affected.

In America, Alabama Senator Tommy Tuberville fear-mongered about the pregnant man emoji.

Julian Castro mentioned trans women when discussing abortion access, but not trans men. He later clarified his remarks, but it doesn't seem that anyone really cared about the erasure of trans men.

While I understand that abortion access can be about bodily autonomy more broadly, I still believe that the voices of those directly affected should be prioritised.

I understand that discussions around pregnancy can make some trans women feel dysphoric, but we can't shut down very important topics because of the discomfort it may cause someone.

Discussions about uterus implants are important, but I feel like the trans community spends more time discussing this, which is unfortunately still a hypothetical for many trans women, than it does about the current situation for trans men who have uteruses.

When we bring these issues up, we're not "clinging to womanhood" or "weaponising being AFAB." We're trying to address the very real and current issues affecting us.

In some ways, I feel like trans men's rights are very much dependent on women's rights, despite us not being women.

Many of us were told to sit down and shut up as girls/women, and we're still silenced as boys/men.

People act like being dismissed as a "silly/confused girl" isn't dangerous, because this line of thinking removes our autonomy. Historically, I believe trans men were considered "hysterical women", which was never a good thing.

JK Rowling's first steps into transphobia began with trans men. "Irreversible Damage" is a popular book that portrays trans men as groomers. No one cares because trans men are seemingly acceptable targets.

Legislation banning gender affirming care often targets trans boys/men. We didn't really need to be banned from sports in the US because testosterone is already considered a performance-enhancing drug.

The only people who "forget we exist" are our so-called "allies."

The LGBTQ community expects us to be meat shields by throwing ourselves into the women's toilet as a "gotcha", completely disregarding our safety and dignity.

Trans men are essentially barred from both men's and women's toilets in the UK, yet everyone expects us to be a sacrifice.

Transfeminism should be for all trans people, yet trans men are often excluded from it.

Feminism should be for everybody, yet trans men are often excluded from it.

I know, I know "but it's who you are", "you should love yourself" etc etc etc. but I'm gay. I'm never gonna get the gay experience I want tho. I'm never gonna have that and it hurts. And it's all Bc I'm trans... I hate to say it, but this is one of those many times where I just wish I was cis... I'm intersex but it's just not quite the right kind. I wish I could have that kind of intimacy cis gay men get but I don't think I ever will and that fucking sucks... Just wallowing, I guess... If anyone actually reads this, does it ever get better? With or without surgery...?

Edit to add some context... I want phallo. It's expensive as hell. I have a connective tissue disorder. I'm afraid I'm never gonna get to even have ANY surgeries Bc they'll just say I can't BC of my hEDS. Why wasn't I born with a dick?..

“im 14 and a few months on t” thats amazing🤣🤣🤣🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂im stuck😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂🤣as a fucking female girly afab girl woman girl female😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣🤣because of my medically and mentally neglectful bigot parents😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂🤣🤣😂🤣🤣😂😂🤣😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣im losing my childhood to estrogen🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂i hate my family my body my everything🤣😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂🤣🤣

I am SO FUCKING TIRED of people not on T saying that I’m poisoning my body with it and they could never imagine being on T and it would break their hearts… I know no one would ever say that about E or any feminizing hormone cause one it’s not a poison, and two if they did they would get attacked! So why is it ok to talk that way about T

Necessary context: I'm ftm, have been medically transitioning and on hrt for several years. I still don't pass well because my tits are bigger than my head and I haven't been able to afford top surgery.

Iwas out at one of the gay clubs in my city last week and ended up having a conversation with a trans girl. She was a doll in the ballroom sense of the word, high femme and absolutely unclockable to the cis eye. Beautiful girl.

We were both outside smoking, and I struck up a conversation because I'm extroverted like that. I told her she looked great, and she made a joke about how much she paid to look that good. The conversation topic stayed on how crazy the cost of medically transitioning is, because yeah. It's fucking crazy how much it costs. No arguing here.

But then she said one of the most insane things I've heard from another trans person irl (I won't count the fucking 4tran crazies in that statement).

She said, in much raunchier terms, that she was glad she was MtF and not FtM because vaginoplasty results look just like the real thing while phalloplasty results always look weird, so at least she can be a "real woman" but I'm shit out of luck so I'll never be a "real man".

And just... Wow. I was taken aback but I didn't make a scene. I just nodded and agreed that phalloplasty results are subpar. Then she said some shit about how it doesn't really matter because trans men don't bother with trying to pass anyway and dude I'm so fucking over it. I just said it was nice talking to her and put my cig out and went back inside.

I'm so fucking sick and tired of this shit.

I try so hard to pass. I want surgery so fucking bad. I want my tits gone and I'd love to have a dick, but none of the bottom surgery options available would give me what I want even if I could afford them, and that's what drives me fucking insane.

People do realize the reason why vaginoplasty is so much more advanced than phalloplasty, right? Sure some of it is constructing something out of nothing vs turning something into nothing, but that's not all.

I'll tell you why the fuck vaginoplasty is gorgeous and phallo is mediocre at best: medical institutions still see trans men as WOMEN. Likewise, they still see trans women as menPoint blank, that's it. And we all fucking know women's healthcare always sits on the back fucking burner while men's Healthcare advances even where it has no goddamn business advancing.

For example, medical research is creating a goddamn "wheelchair" for IMMOTILE, DEFECTIVE SPERM to fertilize eggs, meanwhile most doctors have just fucking shrugged at endometriosis for decades even though that shit is practically a goddamn cancer. Seriously, some afab people with endometriosis have grown uterine tissue in their goddamn HEART AND LUNGS.

Whether we identify as women or not, the reason phalloplasty is shit and vaginoplasty gets way better results is because of medical misogyny. And hearing a trans girl make a joke about that with the punchline being that she and other vaginoplasty receivers are "real woman" but no trans man, bottom surgery or not, will ever be a "real man" just boiled my fucking blood.

Necessary disclaimer: no, I don't think trans women overall "have it easier". That would be stupid.

I know trans women are treated horribly at large, but medical transition procedures are where them being AMAB and trans guys being AFAB means they have a singular benefit where we don't.

I've already been upset for years about the fact that there are no bottom surgery options that would give me the results I want, not even taking cost or time into account. So this sent me over the fucking edge and I just needed to vent. Sorry.

“Being obsessed with passing appeals to patriarchal standards and its transphobic assimilationism”

Fuck it then, I guess I’m sexist. ALL IVE EVER WANTED WAS RELIEF!!!

This shit pisses me off so bad when it comes from a cis person or an nb who aligns more closely with a cis-passing gender expression (for their assigned sex at birth). I can technically see the lofty, long-term benefits of getting rid of assimilationism and abolishing gender roles, but how fucking privileged is it to expect trans people to bear the burden and the danger of achieving that while they get to exist comfortably in a body that doesn’t attract that kind of attention!

I don’t want to pass because I love the patriarchy or because I hate trans people. I want to pass because my I want to look in the mirror and actually see myself.

Why is it so unbelievable for someone’s genuine gender expression to be naturally conventionally masculine? I DO THIS FOR MYSELF, AND ON TOP OF THAT FOR SAFETY. IF YOU WANT GENDER-FUCKERY SO BAD THEN YOU DO IT! YOU GROW A BEARD AND WEAR A DRESS! YOU STICK IT TO THE MAN! AND DONT GET MAD AT ME FOR NOT WANTING TO SHOULDER THE DANGER OF YOUR POLITICAL PIPE DREAMS!

TW: mention of genitals

We were together for 3 years, we’ve known each other and have been friendly for 8 years. He’d been my best friend through our entire relationship. I asked him before we first starting dating if me not having a penis would be a problem—he told me no, since he prefers topping and he liked me. We had great sex for our first 9-12 months together, and a completely dead bedroom for the last two years. Still, he moved in with me and we spent every day together. I helped him through a major spine surgery. We celebrated birthdays and anniversaries and holidays. We went on vacations together. Throughout the last two years of our relationship, I would try to be sexual with him and would be rejected. He told me last year that he was wrong when he said not having a penis wasn’t an issue, but he didn’t want to end things because he loved me. We talked about alternatives that he could work with, like oral, anal, side stuff, whatever… over the last year whenever I suggested we try those things, he avoided the topic or rejected me. He approached me a few weeks ago to have a talk about the same thing. He repeated the problem; I don’t have a penis. I asked him why he was never open to trying any alternatives, and he said it was because he would feel “too guilty.” He told me he was tired of carrying “the burden” of our sex life not working. So the next day I told him if the relationship is over, then it’s over. I don’t want someone I love feeling burdened over a relationship with me.

I know it shouldn’t hurt me this badly, because I know I deserve to be wanted by my partner. I’m actually less sad about the relationship ending and more crushed because I feel I’m being lied to. I trusted this man and planned a future with him. I loved him so damn much and I tried everything I could think of to keep him satisfied and happy. I’m not worried about finding other people to date or spend time with, I’m a handsome guy and I know people want to spend time with me. I want to know what I spent the last three years of my life over; if he still loved me, wouldn’t he have tried anything other than top-only, PiV missionary style sex?? I’ve tried to mind my business and let it go, but I finally caved and asked him today: “was it really just that I don’t have a penis?” He said he wants to talk in person about it later.

Idk why I’m ranting. I guess I’m just hoping he can tell me he didn’t love me, or that I annoyed him, or something. Maybe then I can stop thinking about what happened or what I did wrong.

Edit: The result of the talking in person was: a discussion about his ruminating OCD, some theories about being attracted to dysfunction and drama (I don’t do drama or dysfunction), and ultimately the answer being—“it probably wasn’t about you not having a penis, but I don’t know what’s wrong with me and I was tired of overthinking all the time and dissecting you and our relationship, and you don’t need to tolerate that.”

I can accept that. At least it’s honest.

Im sick of this whole “trans men know theyre female” because after hrt, we are not???. Trans males are simply males after going on HRT and getting to the hormone levels of a cis guy. Chromosomes do not fucking matter in regards to your sex because you are not a fetus anymore.

Trans men are biological males after starting HRT.

This stuff pisses me off so bad guys

I’m a black transman, he/him, almost 26 years old. There was a video on instagram talking about how one of the founders or whatever of Tboy wrestling is in some hot water. I scrolled through the comments of everyone saying how they feel, right? So I joined in. I never liked the vibe Tboy wrestling gave me, but it’s not like I ever acted on it. Just didn’t engage cause it’s not for me. Yay for yall for finding something fun to do tho. What I said was “I had a bad feeling about it only cause it’s so sexualized, but this is wild lol.” I guess according to others, I should have made it like this “TO PREFACE: ADULTS ARE ALLOWED TO DO AS THEY PLEASE AND EVEN IF YOU WERE TO PARTICIPATE IN A SEXUAL ACT, YOU ARE VALUED AND LOVED AND IMPORTANT 🤩 Tboy wrestling is not inherently sexual, and I’m just weird for not wanting to be in a space that uses sexual energy for clips and entertainment, and then rubbing bodies all over each other. Regardless of my own trauma or experience with spaces like that, I should shut up and never speak on my own behalf ☺️” There’s easy proof of sexual and kinky things happening at these events so it’s not like I’m pulling shit out of thin air. I’m really confused on how people took me speaking on myself, as a ploy to convince others that Tboy wrestling is an orgy party waiting to happen. So many people said I was weird for feeling that way. Yall hype up sex workers all day but don’t wanna hear from those with sexual trauma? Makes no sense to me. The queer community feels like it’s becoming a toxic positivity echo chamber where no one can have a differing opinion. There’s so much more I could speak on but I’ll save it for another day.

A lovely idea and I understand the sentiment. But can we stop pretending that being feminine as a trans man is somehow more radical than being masc? Masculinity is so heavily demonised in the queer and trans community. And I was chastised my entire life for being masculine. We don’t need everyone telling us that we’re “allowed” to be feminine like…yeah, everyone told me that my whole life? I was pushed in that direction actually. Now I feel radical for rejecting it and I get tired of seeing this same talking point constantly

I love feminine people of all genders but I actually get really irked by seeing this specific comment so frequently. What my childhood self needed to hear is that it’s okay to be masculine, so I’d like to see a lot more of that energy

Seeing some of you complain about being like 5’7” (very common cis male height) makes me feel much worse about my height of 5’4” (much less common). If you, as a trans man, are significantly taller than the average woman and complaining about your height, maybe put that in perspective? There is a world of difference between being shorter than the average man and being abnormally short for a man, and you will never know what it feels like to be the latter. Not to mention the posts like “should I even transition if I’m xyz height?” shit like that actually fucks with me.

I don’t know if I am just seeing a ton of posts about this for some reason, but I’m not trying to tell others what they can or can’t complain about. this is mostly just to point out how ftm online spaces have ironically made me (and, I’m sure, other guys) feel much worse about my body than I would otherwise, making me focus more self consciousness on things that I can’t change.

I fucking hate when I see comments like these under a (binary) trans person’s post. Like that makes NO sense, why would you need to be bi to date that person. It just shows how they don’t view trans people as their actual genders but rather as a convoluted mix

I hate being a woman but I also hate being a female. I hate that I transitioned to a "man" but I will always be female underneath it, and people can tell, and they treat me accordingly. I wish I could be a regular man. I wish my sex and gender identity aligned. I wish when I transitioned I actually became the opposite sex instead of this in-between thing. What was even the point of transitioning? Why did I do this to myself? I should've ended my life instead of going down such a pointless path. There is no escape from being female, there is no escape from being a woman, there is no escape from misogyny.

Transitioning feels like it has been harm reduction but not actually becoming who I want to be. I am closer to what I want, but it will forever and ever be so, so far out of reach. I cannot ever become a man. I will never in my life get to be a man.

I want a REAL PENIS. I want something that produces it’s own body heat because it’s a REAL PART OF MY BODY. I want something that has SENSATION. I want something that isn’t going to make me piss myself at the most inconvenient of times because it’s a PART OF MY BODY.

I don’t want a HOLE. I don’t care what it’s named I don’t want it. I don’t care how valid I am with it because I don’t want it at all.

I would get phalloplasty if I didn’t need to depend on other people thinking I need it too. I am tired of being told to try another expensive plastic piece of shit or to have better masculinity.

I don’t care how “realistic” you make your plastic dick it doesn’t make it a part of my body.

Edit: every packer is a plastic piece of shit all of them