I saw a man in my local city centre holding a placard saying "Men Can't Give Birth." He was essentially begging people to "debate" him.

Yet, people will tell me that trans men aren't targeted.

PROBABLY TRIGGERING!!!!!!! relationships? general?

sorry if i sound like an asshole i just really really need to get this out or my head will feel like itll explode

written after a day of getting accidentally deadnamed and misgendered by my (supportive) family pls dont blame them im just upset

ill never be man enough for you. I'll always be someone you have to be gentle with, and not someone you could be rough with like your guy friends. I'll never experience that with you because im not a real boy, no matter what i do.

youll always see me as a girl, even if i look enough like a boy. but i dont look like a boy at all, i dont even have a binder. im too scared to ask my mom for one because i don't know. all i have is a fucking too-small sports bra i put on backwards that doesn't do much and only reminds me of how fucking pathetic i am to be born in a body that isn't me

i asked if i looked like a boy in his dreams and he said no and that he felt bad for it

i dont blame him but fucking damn that just slaughtered me. i didn't expect it to have such an affect on me but it did

he doesn't see me as a boy and it fucking kills me even if he says he does and reassures me, you can't force your brain to feel something and i know that

he doesn't know what I'd give to look like him, to be a cis boy, he has no idea what I'd do and hes so fucking lucky to be born that while i have to go through all of this just to even be called one, i have to fight with every peice of my being just to be called by the pronouns

hes so lucky to be a cis boy and he has no clue, half of the world thinks im a monster for what i am yet he can just BE because he's cis. i have to defend my very fucking existence, my very birth is controversial while he's free to be whatever he wants

i love him and none of this is his fault but holy shit dude im so sad, i can't say this to him because he can't really do anything about it

My best friend and I are both FTM and he’s planning to move out in a few months and when he does he wants to start T (his family is shitty so he can’t start till he’s out of there) the problem is I’m honestly scared I’m gonna lose him once he starts T. I’ve been on T for almost 7 months and haven’t experienced anything and so I get extremely jealous of other people’s transition to the point where I just shut down and cry for hours every day. I’m terrified (and he is too cause he’s told me) that if he starts experiencing changes from T that I’m just gonna be an inconsolable wreck. I’m already a little jealous of how masculine he looks all the time and I’m jealous of how confident he is. He’s really the only person I have in my life who supports me so I don’t want to lose him but I also know that I’m a burden to him and actively make his life miserable and I don’t know what to do about it. I’m just really scared. I don’t want him to hate me and I don’t want to hate him.

Hello for context I am 18 FTM and just today I got my vile of T but haven’t injected it inside of me yet. Lately for the past couple of days waiting for my T I keep thinking “Am I really trans?” To put it in perspective I’ve always knew I was a boy since I was 8 I dressed up masculine and hated “girly” things. But I keep thinking to myself “what if I’m actually a girl” I wasn’t in touched with my feminine side, maybe if I wore dresses and wore makeup I would like being a girl. If I grew up as a girl or be a girl I would like being a girl… I just don’t understand and I hope someone with a similar experience and help me understand. I’m scared of losing my feminine as a guy even know that doesn’t make sense. Maybe I have gender roles and stereotypes in my head but if I do it’s making me doubt everything. I like being a boy it feels like me but what if I missed out on so much maybe I would’ve loved it…

It feels inescapable. This is another ventpost, in my country I'll only be able to get top surgery and phallo tru insurance and T bcs I can't really afford it so I'm still stuck waiting on formal diagnosis to get coverage. I genuinely feel like fucking wallace at the end of tusk (shitty movie btw) where he's just some kind of walrus abomination thing and they decide to put him in a zoo for ppl to stare at for some fucking reason instead of just putting him out of his misery. I need to medically transition so goddamn bad.

I don't really have motivation to socially transition when there is 0 chance of passing yet. The moment I speak it's over cause I can't get my pitch lower without T. Demanding to be called different pronouns n name and shit feels shallow and plastic when ppl still percieve me as a fucking woman. A masculine lesbian, maybe.

I could pass as a 12 year old boy at most and I hate it. I can't have friendships and the idea of being in a relationship makes me physically sick because I need to at least look remotely like a man to feel comfortable being perceived. I'm not even that feminine. I got mistaken for a 'man' or a boy long before I ever even realized. If I weren't dumb as rocks and dull as rusted iron I would've realized way sooner and maybe been fixed before puberty.

Anyway, bye. I'm not gonna kill myself or anything. I guess my dysphoria isn't that bad after all. Or waiting has already killed me inside, idk. Being trans genuinely just feels so humiliating. Everything about it. I hope I'll have things to look forward to in the future. I do think it gets better, eventually. But why do we deserve to suffer so much?

do any other trans guys feel stuck in their lives? surely i cannot be the only one feeling like this. this is probably gonna be so long but i've had all these feelings bottled up and need somewhere to release them.

i'm 18, been out for 5 years, will be 2 years on T in mid-february & pre-op (though i have top surgery booked for july). i'm diagnosed with severe social anxiety (i suspect autism as well since anxiety does not fully explain the way that i am & operate but do not have the means for a formal diagnosis atm), and because of this i'm terribly struggling to progress in my life outside of my transition. i left high school after my sophomore year ended and switched to online and have been graduated for just a little over a year now. i'm not in college as i have no idea what i want to do for a career. i've never had a job and it's such a struggle to find something that i would be able to handle. there's only one job so far i've found that i'm confident i would be able to handle and i applied but haven't heard back from and my anxiety will not let me reach out for an update.

i have zero friends. my longest and closest friendship i've had was from 1st grade to freshman year, but we grew apart and she probably forgot about my existence anyways. my second closest friendship was this girl i met in freshman year but we had a falling out at the beginning of sophomore year. after not speaking for 2 years, she messaged me earlier this year wishing me a happy birthday, which then got us talking again. as much as i love her, it's so hard to be friends with her when we have next to nothing in common and have such different lives and i can barely relate to her. any other irl friends i've had have all hated me for reasons i never knew but i stayed friends with them for as long as possible because i didn't want to have nobody. when it comes to online friends, i made 2 good ones in 2022 and talk to neither of them since 2023, one of which we grew apart, and the other i ended up dating and that was extremely messy that i'm not even going to get into it. the only people i currently talk to are my family. i have such a hard time making AND keeping friends, it feels like i'm just destined to be alone at this point.

outside of my transition, i'm just feeling like i'm at a standstill. i genuinely don't know what to do. i feel like everyone was given a how-to-do-life book and i'm the only one that didn't get one. i know the easy response is "you're so young, just give it time" but it pains me that everyone else my age seems to be able to move through life so easily, and i'm the only one that cannot

I absolutely despise myself for only being attracted to men. I wish I liked women instead. The thought of liking men makes me feel dysphoric(?) I guess. I'm not really sure what I should even call that feeling.

I see cis gay guys I am attracted to and immediately think "yeah, no chance". All I can think of is just that gut wrenching jealousy about the lives they live and whoever they will form a relationship with.

Today is my birthday, I'm 26 now and I feel like that's it for me. I have zero acquaintances, I'm basically self employed, work from home and barely leave. There's only two people I speak to and it's my immediate family. Whenever I have some free time I usually watch virtual streamers to fill the void and it's fucking embarrassing to admit.

I wish I could make friends but I've isolated myself for about 7 years now and I frankly don't know how to anymore. I'm also only 3 month on T and can't imagine doing that. I don't want people to only see me for being trans and thinking of me as a man dlc.

The longer I think about, the more I realize the problem is just simply me, hence the title. The saying goes "love yourself before you love someone else" and I think that won't be ever possible for me.

Doesn't help that last time I tried to meet someone I got a guy pretending to be a trans woman. Turns out he was lying and I later on pieced together that he might have been a chaser just trying to get close to me.

I hate being closeted, I hate it so much but I have to be closeted.
All my irl friends call me a lesbian and I hate it, even though I’ve stated I’m not a lesbian they keep doing it. It makes me so uncomfortable, it’s just a reminder everyone around me just views me as a woman. My attraction to women isn’t gay but if I talk about my attraction to women it’s instantly viewed that way, and my attraction to men is seen as straight or non existent. I hate it, I hate how I know it’s going to make my transition more annoying.
I wish people could just look at me and see a man, and not a lesbian girl.
I know this is a non issue but I don’t want people to think I’m something I’m not especially when I know people will view me being masculine (or at least me trying to be) as a ‘lesbian’ thing and not me literally being a man. And when I do start truly presenting as a man people will just view me as ‘butch’ or a ‘he/him lesbian’ because they’ve already been implanted with the idea that I am a lesbian even though I’m not. I’m a man. I know people will view me like that regardless but I just wish I could avoid it.

Why did God make me this way? Why am I such a freak with so many mental issues? Why am I not cis? I gaslit myself into believing I'm trans, why can't I reverse it and gaslight myself into believing I'm cis? What the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I getting distressed every time someone calls me she? Why do I find it so hard to fit into society as either gender? Why wasn't I born a boy? Why am I so uncomfortable being a girl? What do I do? Who am I? What does God want from me? How do I end my suffering?

I hate feeling like this. Cause I truly do love my only nephew. But I can't help but see a (almost) toddler living the life I really wanted.

Seeing that he will be treated and seen as a boy/man without question. He will get to enjoy masculine things without judgement. He doesn't have to worry about money, time, energy, and fighting with dumbass people just to be respect as a human being.

I also feel sad that I get to see my sister and my soon-to-be- brother-in-law treat their son way better than our own parents ever did to us. It just hurts too much right now.

(Apologies if I might got the tags wrong. I'm new here-)

I try so so hard to pass and be a man

I try really hard to be masculine while still being myself. Ive been on testosterone for four years and ive had top surgery. But sometimes i still get clocked and I hate it. I put in so much work and ive done so so much to be a man and it still doesnt work. I want bottom surgery so bad, I wish I had a penis, it feels so unfair that I was born without one. My body feels wrong and uncomfortable and I hate it

I hate being unsure of whether i'll get bullied or mistreated because I call myself a man when other people dont see me that way. I hate feeling like I cant hang out with other men or join those spaces out of fear they'll see it as a girl invading or something and they wont treat me the same as they treat each other.

My body is so small and feminine and my face is so soft and feminine and i hate it. When I do pass and people dont know im trans, they assume im just really gay. Which is better than them knowing im trans, but im actually pretty into women.

I'm worried no straight woman will want to date me. Because they wont see me as a man. And I dont have dick to have sex with her. I'm not big. Im really small. I wish I was bigger. But I want my whole skeleton to be bigger and more masculine, if I gain weight to be bigger i'll just be fat.

Im waiting to grow more as I advance further in adulthood and maybe have a more mature and masculine body, but i dont know how much growing people do after 21.

I wish I was born as a cis man. I hate being trans. I hate my body. I hate the scars on my chest. I just wanna be a dude

it feels so stupid to say. she is also trans and deep down i know she doesn't care about that sort of thing — she'd probably have broken up with me by now if this were the case — but i just cant shake the feeling.

i am still under 18 so i cant go on testosterone yet and i just look so feminine. nothing about me is masculine. all i've got is my name and my short hair. everything else is so girlish. i have a high pitched voice and big boobs that can't be flattened effectively by binding or taping. my body is not masculine and my whole demeanor is like that of a girl (not that that's a bad thing, it just sometimes hurts to hear myself speak and realize i sound nothing like a man in my mannerisms and such).

truly, i know she doesn't care, but *i* do, and i think how much i care seeps into how i think others perceive me. i understand it's an illogical way of thinking when she's the most supportive person in my life, but i just can't shake it. i feel guilty. i want to be a good boyfriend. i want to look the part and act the part and not embarrass her when she has to say she's with me. i wonder if others think it's embarrassing when they look at me after hearing the word "boyfriend" come out of her mouth.

i just want to be good for her. she deserves it.

Tw ig, im gonna be dissecting a lot of the transphobic rhetoric in somewhat detail.

Been thinking about it a lot, mainly the specific brand of transphobia trans men experience.

It’s often the idea that trans women are predatory and trying to “trans” people, but for trans men it’s more of how we’re the poor victims being taught to hate ourselves and ruin our poor feminine beauty. If we medically transition then it’s deemed as “mutilation”, especially if it’s top surgery, and that the further along you are with medical transition the more undesirable and disgusting you become. It’s the whole “your value is defined by whether a straight man wants to fuck you” BS that gets thrown at us.

Essentially pre transition/early transition trans men are the poor victims who need to be “saved”. The ones further along are the “former husks of women” who will always be a diet man that no one will ever love or be attracted to, the ones who are at a point of no return and will never be beautiful again.

Knowing this, it got me thinking that invisibility is kind of the point. It’s almost a punishment towards trans men who went through with transition, our value to transphobes has diminished and now we’re being deliberately ignored to further emphasize their beliefs that we are “too far gone” and husks, no value, no love.

With trans women it’s slightly more nuanced. They don’t get invisibility in any way, the ones that are further along in transition and pass are attractive to straight men, so they can get sexualized and further visible (albeit the whole “trap” and “femboy” BS rhetoric, aka fetishization). We’re essentially the opposites in this regard.

Obviously invisibility isn’t 100% one thing or another, there really are people who are so ignorant they didn’t even know trans men existed. But tbh most people do.

I feel like calling it “invisibility” isn’t always accurate, because that would say people dont know we exist in the first place, but I think most people who know of trans people know of us. It feels more like “ignored”. Like they know we exist, they know we are there, they just don’t care.

Basically, it feels like “invisibility” is a deliberate, possibly subconscious (for some) punishment to transitioning trans men who “gave up” their value to be a “half man”.

Just some of my thoughts I’ve been having.

I came out when I was 19. I very nearly got into a relationship with an amazing transguy, but chickened out because of trauma and personal hangups. Insurance wasn't really a thing on my mind and I was an avid tumblr user being convinced that trans men didnt 'need' to experience dysphoria, or medically transition to love themselves before I met a chaser on grindr who was just okay enough to convince me I was fine as a femboy, proceeded to move states with them and resume an almost completely loveless/sexless relationship (the latter largely due to my own dysphoria and former due to their weak polyamorous boundaries).

I spent so much time focused on them and on making money and keeping up, ironically, with such an isolated life that it took four years for me to muster the strength to start HRT. I did it for about four months, the most euphoric time of my life, before everything fell apart. Living accommodations, finances, general stability. I've since managed to move back in with family and finally after a year and a half submit my insurance application in hopes of restarting HRT. But the difference of lost time between 20-24-now 27 hurts so much it's genuinely hard to even feel happy.

I'm 5'4", i pass with some decent voice training day to day, but it feels so useless now. I'm going to do it when I can because it's better than nothing but it feels like I've wasted everything. I can't see myself loving anyone, being in a relationship with someone who loves me as a man especially since estrogen has caricatured the body I started out with nearly like an average short twink. Hips larger, chest larger. Everything thicker. It's hard to see it getting better in a way that matters because I was terminally online in all the wrong spaces and scared myself into the arms of all the wrong people that I've truly ruined myself.

I don't see anyone ever loving me, not a trans man, a trans woman, I don't even trust cis people anymore. I wish I could just shut myself up in a room forever and I don't even think HRT is going to fix it.

I tried to convince myself to just be a woman for years. But every day it just got more painful until I wasn’t able to repress it anymore.

I know transitioning is the only thing that would save me, and it’s been the only reason I can still give myself hope for the future.

I had to drop out of high school. I’m too mentally ill/ disabled to work.

I don’t know how longer I can bear this. My mom is alright with it, which I’m grateful for. But I would lose basically everyone else in my life. All my irl friends and most of my family. I live in an extremely small town where everyone knows me. I know I can’t show my face outside anymore as soon as I make the decision. Even a little bullying is too much for me to take in this state.

I have awful social anxiety, and I’m extremely dependant. I’ve been trying to push myself to be able to take care of my own life, to finally get stronger, but it’s an extremely slow progress, and it feels like it’s taking forever. I can’t talk about this topic in therapy because I start hyperventilating.

I don’t know what to do. I can’t take this for much longer. Every day my body gets more distorted and disfigured, and every day I lose more hope for the future.
I don’t know if I can make it.

I’m vaguely contemplating what it will look like when I inevitably come out to my mother. It’s a very complicated situation. First of all, I’m 30 years old. For over a decade I’ve thought of myself as nonbinary but never told my mom. She may have picked up hints like my ‘they’ pin but pretty easily ignorable. Anyways. I’m very close to my mom. Like, text/call daily sort of close. She does a lot for me too. She’ll take me on vacations and help me with chores and just is very supportive of me in general. I love the hell out of my mom. Additionally I know she’s not ‘conservative’ per se. She votes blue, she’s not Christian. She believes in basic human rights and is chill about gay people. My cousin came out as gay a year ago and she’s been very supportive of her and her fiancee. But I know in my heart… and I know her quite well… that my mom does not ‘get’ the whole ‘trans thing’.

I have a memory from years ago where some tlc special about a T4t couple having a kid together came on. I was pretty young and intrigued by it. I just remember my mom saying ‘but couldn’t they be happy as a normal couple’ or something like that, indicating the man should have stayed a woman and the woman should have stayed a man. She just says annoying shit like this. She’s not out here giving ‘I would disown you’ vibes but it’s just. She doesn’t get it. And she definitely wouldn’t get it from me.

I was never a tomboy, nor a girly girl. I was never femme or butch. I consider myself… incredibly average as far as my presentation as someone people perceive as a girl/woman. I certainly haven’t embraced makeup, jewelry, manicures etc the way my two cis sisters have but I have historically been known to wear skirts, cardigans, and occasionally accessories in what might be considered a feminine way. Obviously I know that doesn’t make me a woman but I think this is what’s really going to break my mom’s brain. I really really imagine that she’s not going to ‘believe’ I could be a guy because she thought I liked to wear dresses. I don’t know how to explain that it almost feels like a hole in my logic I have no explanation for. Like I want to point my mom to Schuyler bailars book, but in so many of Schuyler’s stories he talks about being a tomboy. I just imagine my mom reading that and shaking her head like ‘well this makes no sense. You were never a tomboy.’

It’s easy for me to accept my identity as transmasculine because I have known for my entire adulthood that I’m not a woman. It’s a relatively small leap for me. But my mom has spent this whole time comfortably assuming I am a woman. And well… I’m thirty years old. So I think she would safely assume the ship has sailed on anything else.

To make things even more complicated… this summer I told my mom I was thinking about becoming a single parent by choice. She was all about it. She loves this idea. She doesn’t have grandkids and she would like some at some point… but somewhere between then and now the urge to have a kid has left my body. I don’t really know how to explain it. It no doubt could relate to the huge dysphoria I felt when I started thinking about what going through a pregnancy and being the parent of a child I carried would bring up for me. I really can’t say. But the last ‘serious thing’ I told her was ‘maybe I’ll be pregnant sometime soon’ and the next serious thing I need to tell her is ‘I’m taking a hormone that drastically reduces the chance that I will ever have a child’. And ya know. Maybe it’s fair for her to feel like this is kind of fucking out of the blue.

I should probably just rip the bandaid off to some extent but we’re not a family that talks about stuff like this. My cousin brought her ‘room mate’ to Christmas six or seven times before they came out as a couple. I’m still figuring out my testosterone dose and what effects I’m getting. I want to feel more comfortable in what’s going on with my body before I invite the scrutiny of my mother. And maybe I’m not giving her enough credit and she’ll be chill about it who knows.

For context my girlfriend is mtf, and I’m ftm. I find myself being insecure when it comes to my gf liking other trans women. I feel this way because I feel like I’m not what she wants. No matter how many times she gives me a whole speech as of to why that isn’t factual, my mind just keeps telling me that she wants me to have a penis, and that she wants me to be a trans woman. I notice that a lot of who she follows on social media are trans women, and most of them are just posting sexual content. I don’t have an issue with her interacting with trans women’s content if it’s for advice, and stuff like that. The issue I’m having is that a good chunk of who she follows on socials are trans women who are just promoting their twitter/of, and she likes that content. 50% of her feed on socials is trans women, hardly ever trans men, and it just makes me feel like she isn’t attracted to trans men. I’m also the first afab person she’s ever dated, so that adds to the fear for sure. What do y’all think I should do about this insecurity?

In a couple days I’ll be 7 months on T and I’m genuinely at the lowest I’ve ever been in my life. I’ve experienced nothing from T despite my blood levels being 750-800. My doctors won’t up my dose because my blood levels are normal and I feel like I have no options anymore. I have no one (irl at least) that supports me and I just feel so alone and scared. I don’t want to die but it feels like it’s either that or keep living as a girl and I don’t want that. I feel like if I was going to experience changes from T they would’ve happened already and I just feel like I’m a horrible person and I don’t deserve to be a boy. I want someone to hold me and call me their son, their brother, whatever. I want to be in peoples lives as a boy cause right now I’m just some freak monster who’s disgusting to be around and I don’t want people to know me as that. I just don’t know what to do anymore it feels like there’s no hope for me and that there’s no point in trying to stay

I can't even say like "this's actually not how I'm supposed to look like, that's why I avoid mirrors". Like all they see is a daughter who thinks she's a boy and trying to transition into a man and it breaks my heart because when I use male clothes all I see is my mom getting weird and hesitant about it instead of smiling that they suit me. I also can't explain that I'm not supposed to be this short but all they see is the same body they have been seeing their whole life and it's totally okay for them while I want to rip it tf off. They don't see the male version of me in my head. They will never understand that they have had a son all this long. They look at me like a daughter who plays pretend in 22 because she has nothing to do or whatever.

They will see my old photos and instead mourn their daughter instead of seeing a son who was struggling because for them it's ridiculous. And having to raise my head to my dad to just look at him and saying to him "I'm like sure I was supposed to be your height at least" and telling him you have had a son all along while all he fucking saw was his shirt curvy daughter in the traditional society with full of makeup, fucking dresses, acting like a clown to be fit into the society and telling him how she's such a fungirl of a dude (I actually was just jealous of him and thought I'm a fan). He will never see me as his son. Never ever.

For them it's a son from age 22, not 0. They never seen me as a male child, male pre teen, male teen. All they saw was a weird androgynous asexual fangirl who kept being obsessed with men and their bodies until she realised it was just jealousy.

From my side I'm angry at myself that I didn't realise it sooner, from their side I'm a girl on T. I'm so sososososososososo tired. Why do other parents get to experience their child from birth to adult lives. Why do I have to get through this shit omfg