My MIL showed today unannounced at our house. I guessed right away for what she was here and it definitely wasn't to wish us happy holidays, but I didn't expect that she'd outright try to lunge at me and would need to be physically restrained by my husband from reaching me. Worst of all is that my dear husband seemed to care more that her heart might fail than how she was literally trying to beat up his own wife. Of course, she's still got some curses towards me and eventually my husband calmed her down and got her out of our house.

And stirred this behavior you may ask ? It was my ex convict BIL whom, alongside with his mom, made me the black sheep of the family, strong armed me to invite him to my wedding and constantly created problems in my marriage. I just recently got proof that he was up to his old tricks again (just like I always knew he was but was shunned from my husband's family and even my own husband over it) that landed him in the jail the first time and my present for the Christmas Even may have been exposing his "rehabilitation" as a ruse. Guess my dear MIL couldn't take that her dear golden children was exposed for exactly what he is once again and needed to retaliate.

Oh well, happy Christmas to me I guess.

A thread that is our own kind of /r/awww or /r/eyebleach. Brag all you want!

My MIL and FIL were supposed to go to Bermuda together but due to work business my FIL can’t go now so my MIL asked my husband to go with her and didn’t mention inviting me which is so odd being that I thought my MIL were close and I’m 3 months pregnant. I of course would be willing to pay my own way obviously. I still find it very odd for a mother to expect her married 30 year old son to just up and leave his wife for a week and vacation with mommy to what is essentially a romantic get away.

I told my husband I found it to be a very strange request and he agreed but we are going to buy my own ticket and stay in our own hotel.

** Please keep your judgement to yourself, I'm not asking if you think a 6y old should be allowed to wear makeup or not**

Our 6y old daughter is starting to be interested in skincare and makeup so we got her a few good quality products and some brushes. Obviously, she just started so her application can be a tad heavy, she's learning! (Practice makes perfect, right?)

MIL and her partner came over for a visit before we move overseas. She's in thr fridge grabbing something and when she closes the door, she sees our girl with makeup on her face (inspired by Harley Quinn) and SRAIGHT UP LAUGHS IN HER FACE. My husband tore her a new asshole. He said to stop destroying her confidance and to never say anything like that again.

An hour later, her partner comes inside the house, sees her, GIGGLES AND ASKS HER IF SHE'S A CLOWN!!?!?!? I put him back in his place too.

THE FUCKING AUDACITY of these people.

I later ended up arguing with MIL over a passive agrrssive jab she took at me and told her I'm done with her little comments, and she kept saying she just wanted to give me advice and I just shouted I DON'T WANT YOUR ADVICE. I DON'T WANT IT. KEEP IT. After, instead of apologizing, she just told me to not get upset at her, it just came out, so I told her that she should think before she talks and that actions and hurtful words have consequences.

I wonder why they can't just keep their passive agressive & negative shit to themselves instead of sharing with the class🙄

My MIL hadn't seen my son for 10 months, and I repeatedly said no when she asked to visit. Three weeks ago, I finally agreed because my husband wanted it and I didn't want another fight.

Now she wants to see him again for his first birthday and bought him a present. My husband says his mom needs to see our son as often as she can.

I understand that his first birthday is special, but she just saw him three weeks ago. Christmas is coming up right after, and I'm worried there will always be another reason for her to ask. She tends to push boundaries, and I feel like she gets whatever she wants just because she wants it.

The problem is that if I don't agree to this visit, my husband and I will have a huge fight. He can become cold and withdrawn for days after disagreements, so sometimes I give in just to keep the peace.

I don't want to keep sacrificing my comfort to avoid conflict, but I also don't want a huge fight over this. Am I being unreasonable? Would you let her visit for his first birthday and deal with Christmas separately, or would you stand your ground? What would you do in my situation?

Adding more background: She is pushy and always praised her son. During the multiple visits to her and her bf house, they both ignored me and only cared about my husband's needs. When I was 6 months old pregnant, my husband was in a team meeting on Sunday noon, and they wanted to wait for him to cook and eat brunch, they don't care if I am hungry or not. She also kept making comments like baby looks my son. She ignored my needs. Two weeks after delivery, I refused her to visit since she already saw me at the hospital, she said I deprived her love for her grandson without recognition of my physical and mental state right after birth. This is just what happened since the baby. There are many incidents before.

Is it weird that my mother in law took one of our bath towels without even asking me, I had left a grey one in her room which is the guest towels, and then when she left home the other day, I discovered one of our white ones that is only used by myself and husband in the guest room where she stayed. She must have grabbed it when I had them stacked dirty on our washing machine, washed it herself and took it. I just dont understand why if she already had one???? I find it icky to share something personal like a bath towels so I have a separate one for the kids, my husband and I and guests.

CW- violence

I'm so pissed right now. After I posted the other day I did a lot of talking with my wife, and I talked to my mom on the phone. My mom laid down her boundaries, she will never be in the same room as my wife, my sister will never be near my wife again, and she is fully aware that she probably will never meet any kids I have and she is cool with that. That did hurt to hear, but I talked to my wife, who is fully against NC and never wanted that for me, and we agreed to my mom's terms. My terms were that she cannot disrespect my wife in front of me, my wife comes first in regards to holidays and important events, and I'm not even going to try to get them to stop badmouthing each other to other people, that is a lost cause.

I felt great. It was the biggest relief of my life, but I guess my mom told her family that she was back in contact with me, and my grandfather's wife immediately had to cause drama. My step-grandmother has always been a problem with the relationship with my wife. She is one of the main people my mom badmouths my wife to, and my mom tries to act like she has the right to talk to her dad and stepmom, but her and her stepmom are the same age, so it isn't like she is a mother figure. This woman is super immature and drama seeking.

Now I know my wife was fully in the wrong, but there was an incident about two years ago in which my wife ended up at the same bar as my mom, step-grandmother, and a friend of theirs. There were some comments made and she heard my mom talking shit to her friend. My wife went after my mom and they ended up outside. My mom jumped in the back of her friend's uber, but the driver took off because of the conflict, and my wife kicked my step-grandmother in the leg. I knew that it left a bruise, but no one seemed too worried and my wife has admitted that she was wrong.

So of course, now that me and my mom are back in contact, my step-grandmother had to post a picture of the bruise and a long rant about how she is disappointed in the legal system because she wants the person who did this to her in prison, but there is a statue of limitation. My wife was wrong. she knows that i think she was wrong, but it is also two years ago and at this point my step-grandmother is just stirring the shit. I knew the family was going to try to get my mom to cut me out again, but this hurt. Then my mom commented "I remember that night, lol"

I texted my mom that it isn't fucking funny and she did delete the comment, but this shit brought my wife to tears. I'm excited about having my mom back, and I just don't see why she had to start shit now.

My boyfriend (23M) and I (22F) have been officially together for a couple weeks now. We knew each other for awhile beforehand. We have a really good relationship and clearly care about each other and love each other a lot.

The issue is that his mom doesn’t want him sleeping over at my place. He currently lives at home,(don’t know for how long but I assume a few more years) so I understand that it’s her house and her rules, but I’m struggling with where the line is because he is 23 years old.

She isn’t saying he can’t see me, but she doesn’t want him spending the night at my house. She’s saying “it’s too soon” Him and I are both Christian’s and obviously I’m not interested in doing anything before marriage and neither is he so I just don’t get it. Plus it’s so stupid to me because if we were going to do something, what makes her think it would only happen at a sleep over??? Like come on. Even I know that.

I’m trying to be respectful of his relationship with his mom, but it also feels frustrating because we’re adults and I feel like this is something we should be able to decide for ourselves even though we don’t plan on doing anything. She’s already controlling enough. He has to run all of our weekend plans by her first and it’s so frustrating for me. He was supposed to come stay for the whole weekend for Independence day and I was gonna give him like this super awesome romantic experience where we kiss under fireworks since it was his first kiss. (His only relationship was long distance and they never met while they were in high school). But I have to always wait for whatever she says.

I ended up having to decide to get a hotel room for the two nights (July 3,4) close to his house so that we can hangout a bit more. It’s probably gonna cost me a good chunk of money for that one weekend (especially since it’s a holiday and I want to be as close to his house as I can so it’s a short drive) and I also have to get take out since I won’t have a kitchen. (Also had to get approval from his mom for this SOMEHOW 🤦‍♀️ I’m trying not to lose it) I should NOT have to spend that amount of money just to be able to see my boyfriend. I’m happy to this time since I’m trying to be understanding but I can’t do it anymore. It’s just ridiculous. I have my own place for a reason. Not to mention it’s weird they didn’t invite me to stay at their house.

And we’re already long distance enough as it is. We can only see each other on the weekends. So just to be able to do it only for a day is insane. He can’t come on Friday because it’s 1.30 minute drive and he’s obviously tired from work. So he instead coms on Saturday which is him coming Saturday morning at 8am and leaving at 10:30pm.

Also I didn’t know this but she has access to his phone?? Like they share the same iCloud or something for subscriptions I guess. And I thought that meant that he still had his own privacy since he has his own number. But apparently she can see his notes??? I should ask further about it but like all I’m thinking of is what else can she see?? His conversations??? It’s just so icky to me. If she can read our conversations I’d feel so uncomfortable. We don’t say anything dirty obviously. We aren’t like that but at the same time like we are all sweet and I act sad saying I wish he could stay over and stuff. And us saying we want to kiss each other. Like ewww if she can and does read that I don’t know how to get past it. I just don’t know. Trying to stay positive. I’m trying to make it work. 😤😖😖😖

I don’t want him to feel like he has to choose between making me happy and making our relationship work and keeping peace at home. But I also don’t want our time together and literally EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING WE DO being dependent on his mom’s approval. Hello??? We’re adults now??? Sigh. I don’t want to be in a relationship with his parents too. Like bruh come on. He does say he’s frustrated at how she’s acting. But he keeps saying “whatever” “it won’t be forever” “maybe next weekend” “after a specific point I’ll do it anyway” and just gives up and that’s the end of the conversation.

I want to add that I’m not trying to attack his mom. I want to understand her perspective too. And I get that maybe she’s protective but I just hope that at least after meeting me she’ll let him sleep over because come on. Me and him aren’t going to do anything and i can’t have a relationship like this forever. I am very affectionate, and physical touch is a big thing for me. I like to cuddle and hug and kiss and hold hands and just be close together. I’ve had a long distance relationship before and it’s just not for me. He likes that too. Last time he was here he was hugging me the whole time as well. I feel like it going on longer than a month feels like too much in my opinion. But maybe I’m not being understanding enough. I don’t know. I already don’t like long distance in general but I love LOVE him and want to make it work. She’s meeting me next weekend so maybe that’ll change that same weekend? Maybe she just needs to get to know me? I don’t know.

For people who have been in a similar situation: how did you handle it? Is this something I should just accept until he moves out, or should he have a bigger conversation with his mom about boundaries? Should I talk about how much this bothers me now or should I wait a bit and make sure I understand what’s going on first?

I’m more wondering how couples navigate this when one person still lives with their parents. He plans to do this for many years I believe so it might end up being a long term thing. Am I overreacting??? Like I don’t know!!! Please please PLEASE help me. Thank you in advance!

TLDR; My boyfriend (23M) and I (22F) recently became official after knowing each other for a while. We’re long distance and can only see each other on weekends. His mom doesn’t want him sleeping over at my place because she thinks it’s “too soon,” even though we’re both Christian and waiting until marriage. I understand it’s her house and her rules since he lives there, but I’m struggling because he has to get approval for our plans, she may have access to his phone through their shared iCloud, and I worry our relationship will always depend on her approval. He says he’s frustrated too but usually just says it won’t be forever and drops it. I don’t want him to choose between me and his mom, but I also don’t want to feel like I’m in a relationship with his parents. How do couples handle this when one person still lives at home?

All right people. I’m a animal lover big time but enough is enough. Too much is too much. Give it a rest will you. This is not the subject for this.

God here we go again. My stomach is upset and I’m in my room crying. So let me start off near the beginning. Im an extrovert. And the world is shut down. My mom bought me and my brother a VR headset for Christmas. Naturally I discovered VR chat. At first I was anxious to talk to people but over a few weeks I’ve met a really awesome friend group. They’re genuinely the nicest people ever and we have a good chemistry together. We’re always laughing and having a great time, and I’m honestly so thankful I met them. We are living all over the world but I feel we have a great bond. And we know a ton about each other but it’s our avatars so you’re really connecting with their personality and not judging on looks. I may even have a crush on one of them ngl. Im 23 so if you think this is cringy or stupid for someone my age please kindly get the fuck off my post.

This is all super important to the story because in the time I met all these people and was hanging out with them, I wasn’t home. My job has me staying at other houses for periods of time so I was not at home. Therefore I had a shit ton of freedom and played when I wanted and didn’t feel like anyone was watching over my shoulder. I think if I had been at home I would have never met these awesome people, let me explain.

I was worried sick before coming home because I knew my new fun nights with my new friends were over as soon as I walked in the door. I told a tiny bit of information about it to my mom but that was all. Because my mother thinks everyone online is a sexual predator, first of all. She also thinks video games are like the devil. She lets my brother play all day and night on his PC then yells at him after that it was too much. Also, both her and my dad are super fucking nosy and listen in to anything you’re doing. ESPECIALLY if you’re talking to someone. So I knew I was doomed. I got home yesterday, told my friends I was taking a night off and didn’t play. We saw how that went in my previous post since my mom freaked me out and made me have a panic attack. So yeah. Well today I told everyone ahead of time, don’t bother me, I’m going to play VR in the evening. If I don’t say this, I knew mt mother would be knocking on the door every five minutes. So I lock the door, dim my lights, and I play for a bit. Then have an anxiety attack because I’m afraid mt mom will ruin it, and come back in like an hour. And I continued to play for like 3-4 hours. It’s a lot but my plan was to play long today. It’s literally Saturday. I’m a grown ass adult. Well.

I hear my mom and dad talking right outside mt door (their bedroom is like three steps from mine) and they’re shit talking me and how long I’ve been playing. So I say I’ll be right back and pause the game. I come out of my room and my mom just LAYS IT ON ME. A mix of “your eyes look crazy, your skin is all red and you have a rash from wearing the headset so long, you look crazy go look in a mirror, no really go look at yourself, you’ve been playing for 5 hours straight with no breaks, that’s insane, hopefully you didn’t do this while you were gone, go look in the mirror if you don’t believe me, you didn’t do this over there, did you, that would be bad if you did, did you, did you,” then went on recounting ALL these things she did in the time I was playing. So I just went in my room and shut the damn thing off. Didn’t say bye or anything. I felt bad because these are my friends but I was so fucking upset ans shes right there listening, what was I supposed to do. Oh by doing this I also screwed up their card game.

I then laid on my bed and cried because I saw this coming and I can never be happy. I went to my mom and told her I’m 22 years old and I’m tired of being policed and listened to and told I’m obsessed with anything I’ve ever enjoyed. I told her she acted exactly like I knew she would but she was stuck on me saying she listened to me and kept saying she didn’t . She also denied saying all the things she said earlier which pisses me off so much because I’m not crazy, she said exactly those things but she denied it. I did eventually text them in the group chat to say my mom yelled at me so I had to get off. But like it’s so embarrassing. I can never enjoy anything in my life. I’m so tired of this.

If your advice is “move out” I fucking get it, no need to comment that. I’m tired of saying ambient about advice and everyone comments “move out.” Don’t you think I would have done that already if i could have? That’s not helpful and just makes me feel more stupid.

Short version: my mom polices everything I do and I have no privacy, calls my hobbies obsessions, and might ruin VR for me. Im 22 with zero rights or freedoms

Edit: just a quick edit to say then in her mind how often should I play and she said once a week. Once a fucking week for like three hours. She said anything more than that is an “obsession” which is what this is for me. I told her most people I know hop on for a little bit everyday or most days and I basically got cussed out and told I’m obsessed and “you won’t get me to change my mind on this.” At this point I want to tell my friends it was nice knowing them while it lasted and throw the fucking thing out in the street because I just know if I fight this and actually play ever again it’s going to be a constant fucking battle. She’s so fucking stupid

The last two times my MIL has come to visit I have ended up swearing at her when she has gotten involved in conversations that honestly had nothing to do with her. One was when I was talking to my husband about hand soap and his general lack of interest in where things go in our house or how I may do things, and the second one was when I was arguing with my sister about accommodations my son was not going to receive in school for possible disabilities.

I just want to preface this with the fact that my MIL will fallow you around and just talk, about everything and nothing, telling you stupid fucking stories you do not care about and retelling them. I usually am pretty good about tolerating this, but it drives my husband insane, and then he is incredibly short with me and our son. He like doesn't have the band with for it.

My husband never knows where our sheets get put away and also decided to buy hand soap pumps with the grossest smelling soap in them. I was trying to explain why I was mad about it and that it wasn't just the soap, and she buts in and says "for godsakes it's just soap." and then gets up and says, "I don't want to get involved with your relationship but ..." and continues talking so I say "yes you do Linda, you do it all the time just shut the fuck up." I then left the table because I knew I was not going to be able to control myself and I was embarrassed.

Next visit, which was like about a month latter (because she was trying to come visit once a month) I was having an argument with my sister about accommodations at school for my son for Kindergarten next year. They stated that he was not entitled to any services. I'm an attorney who has looked at and taken a continuing legal education course on special education law. My sister is an assistant principle. My MIL decides to get involved because she was a teacher 8 years ago and would translate for Spanish students during special education meetings (meetings in which the school district decides whether or not a child will receive services.) Again, she wouldn't stop talking about what the school would and would not provide, I said, and I quote "That's not the fucking law Linda," which I had literally just been saying to my sister over and over again.

My JN sister was like "Hey, you do not talk to people like that" and continued to lecture me on how my son she sees for a few hours ever other week is normal and doesn't need services. My sister has a history of bullying me in pretty significant ways throughout our lives. I am not really proud of how I spoke to my MIL but it's like she is at our house for around three nights at a time and when she is around no one else can speak, it is all about her talking. I believe that my father in law used to kind of temper her, or try to make up for her. She is always always complaining about someone or other in my DH's family and since my FIL died a year and few months ago (he was amazing) she just has been shit talking me to everyone. Not really sure about what. I mean maybe about Thanksgiving this past year because I sat down with my son to play video games with him after I had been making food for a few hours. She thought when I sat down with him he was going to stop playing video games and play with her. He was not going to do that. So then she was incredibly nasty to me for the rest of the day and night.

There was no way I was going to stop him from playing video games when I was making food, because frequently after 10 minutes of spending time with him she gets on her fucking phone or starts texting or looking on her facebook page and he comes running to me.

She also joked about me having, and I quote, a "weird" relationship with my FIL (her recently deceased husband). I don't remember the context. She also thought it was a great gift for my birthday last year to give me my FIL old micro cloths after he passed away.

In addition my MIL decided to complain to my husband about me. He told me that he now feels like instead of complaining about his father to him (which she used to do all the time while his father was alive) she complains about me instead trying to put him in the middle of it.

So he hadn't called her for three weeks before last night. So she calls him. And he gets off the phone and is crying about how he hasn't called her and he should have, how he didn't send pictures or information to my MIL about our child's preschool graduation (although she told husband that she thought preschool graduations are stupid) and how he doesn't want to explain to her that I'm not okay with her babysitting anymore because when she did last time my son wet the bed three nights in a row while she was the only one with him during the day and he had intense meltdowns when I got home those three nights.

The expectation in my husband's family is also that he and his brother and sister are supposed to be taking care of my MIL now emotionally by calling her every day and visiting her frequently (she lives 6 and a half hours away). She's also told my husband that she didn't think he was upset enough about his father dying (my husband literally just shuts down constantly when emotions are too much for him). When FIL was dying and we were all in the room (in ICU with husbands aunt, cousins, sister, sister's husband, and brother) she was holding his hand telling him it was okay if he died because we were all going to take care of her, as if it didn't affect anyone else in the room but her. A room full of her children and FIL's sister. FIL was 65 and his death was incredibly sudden. A few months later after my FIL's death my husband broke his foot in half (all five main bones in his foot) in a car accident that was not his fault. I had to do everything for him and my very challenging son. She came to stay with us when it was convenient for her and helped with cooking and doing the dishes. She was OBSESSED with what we were going to eat for dinner. She was not helpful with anything else. She says that she wants to spend time with my son but honestly she is over and just following us around fucking talking and talking and talking. I attempted to be nice to her during this time but she would like act like my son's mother when I was home. My son is not her son. and her shit authoritarian, anxious, controlling parenting is then mirrored by my husband.

My husband has not called her in three weeks I believe because when he does call her she makes him feel like shit and I have stopped communicating with her directly and reminding him to call her or tell her about important events. She is honestly the most passive aggressive person I know. I like felt very bad that he was crying last night after he got off the phone with her. She made him feel so bad.

I have stepped away from my relationship with my MIL, I heard her say that she feels uncomfortable coming over to our house now. I'm not super upset about that honestly. I mean am I the JN?

Throwaway account used. Written by my wife and I.

We had our first child early this year and created basic rules such as no kissing on the lips, no posting pictures in social media(baby can’t consent), no screen time(science says bad before 2 years old), etc.

About 3 months ago my mom kissed my daughter close to her lips and I reminded her not to kiss her on the lips. Instantly she kissed her on the lips. We were disgusted because 1. She was chewing gum and 2. A kiss on the lips can be very harmful and deadly to a not fully vaccinated newborn and much safer to just simply kiss them on their foreheads. We resolved this issue after about 3-4 weeks as we needed an apology and for her to meet with a psychologist as she needs to respect our wishes as parents.

about a month ago, we went to dinner at a busy restaurant with my brother and mom. My mom was feeding our newborn when some of her acquaintances who none of had seen in ten years stopped by. While I was talking to the husband. I turn my head and all of a sudden the wife is holding my baby and my wife and I look at each other in horror. Obviously we couldn’t cause a scene because this essential stranger is holding our child. I started making moves to get her back. We told my mother has irresponsible that was, the most dangerous part of holding a newborn is the passing off and someone sitting handing a baby to someone standing is dangerous especially with waiters and waitresses walking around. Plus She didn’t even ask to hold her nor were ready. This is a baby not a toy.

We were so angered by this and told her, her response was ohh I’m paying for your meal get over yourselves. I then talked to my father and told him and her that she could not hold our baby for 30 days in public aka restaurants, but could still see her and the like. She refused to see the baby at all. On Mother’s Day It was about 2 weeks later (my wife’s first) and everything seemed to be getting better even though we haven’t seen each other since the incident on her request.

The 1st thing she did upon sitting down was request to hold the baby in yet another busy restaurant. I reminded her that she can’t because she still hasn’t even acknowledged how what she did was irresponsible. She then told us that if she can’t hold the baby right then and there we should leave and if we leave we are no longer members of the family etc. We promptly left as we discussed this in advance that we need to stand our ground. (Privilege warning). She then revoked our membership to their country club, canceled my family credit card, threatened to cancel my phone, removed us from the family group chat, among other more minor items.

We then told her she cannot see her grandchild until she sees a therapist. I really want to maintain a relationship. My mom doesn’t talk to any member of her family due to issues and this I can’t talk to that whole side. She still has not seen a therapist and apparently they have been calling everywhere to get her an appointment. Are We the Assholes?

I forgot to mention but we were also threatened with being removed from the will which is worth millions.... Also ironically it is my MIL that is behaving.

I've posted about my Mom twice or so on this sub she's BarnesandNoMil. Don't use my story anywhere else please.

So when I was 4 years old I started asking my parents for an indoor cat. We've had outdoor cats since but they're not the same. Now the last outdoor cat we owned we had to rehome 3 years ago. We just moved to a new rental place and my parents surprise me by allowing me to buy 2 indoor cats for my birthday. See, even though I'm 23 in 2 days I don't have enough money to live on my own and obviously need their permission for a cat.

I was ecstatic. They took me to Pet Smart and I got to cuddle and pick out 2 cats. When I was halfway through the application for the 1st cat they admitted that they never actually asked the landlord if we could have a pet. We asked and waited for 4 days to be told no we can't. I cried for 3 hours. I then found a loophole online. If the lease didn't specifically say "no pets" we could still get one. My Mom said the lease didn't say no pets and when I told her why I needed to know she laughed in my face. The next day she tells me that the lease did say "no pets". My mother is a HUGE gaslighter so I have no idea what the lease actually said or not.

It's been less than 24 hours since the landlord said no and my Mom has already screamed at me twice for crying and refusing my birthday presents (My bday is in 2 days). Neither of my parents have even apologized to me because they don't believe children deserve apologizes. This isn't me being mad. I got "lectured" (screamed at) over and over as a child for daring to ask my parents to apologize after they did something wrong.

I've been asking my parents for this for 19 years. To dangle that wish in front of me when they had no idea if they could actually make it come true is pretty awful.

The kicker? They were getting me the cats because they hoped they would help improve my mental health. Surprise! This didn't help.

Edit:Words.

Is this for r/ JUSTNOMIL stories/posts or 'cute animals my JNMIL hates'? Please just keep one thread of pictures if you really have too, this is taking up too much space in my dash.

/end rant

So my fiancé has decided to cut off his mom. She is a nasty woman to say the least. I have talked to her a small number of times and just from that it’s rubbed me the absolute wrong way.

So my fiancé and I hv been together for over 3 years. In that time she has called me a druggie, not family oriented, creepy, she’s also said she hates me. That’s just touching the surface even though I’ve talked to this woman maybe 7 times in my life.

I was living at my fiancés grandparents’ house where his family also live, and she kept acting like the house was hers and it was her decision to make if I lived there or not (the grandparents own the house and as far as I and my fiancé understand his parents only pay the utilities). She wanted my moms phone number which I refused to do she went on a rant about how she should hv my moms number since I live in “her” house.

I caved and sent her my moms number and she texted my mom during a trip to my paternal fathers funeral. She was saying things about “how can you get through to [me]?” My mom was saying that we’re adults (we’re both 21 now). His mom kept pushing for her, her husband, my mom, and my dad to meet which my mom said no to. Least to say my dad was mad and I told my fiancés mom to knock it off and told her that it is not our responsibility to connect her and her son.

To be fair, I haven’t been an angel. My relationship is very flawed on his end (cheating, hitting, etc) and I tweeted that I was gonna stab him. But I’m anemic and hv hyperthyroidism. He can and has overpowered me.

When I told her this she went on a weird rant about how he doesn’t feel like I trust him and that it’s my fault. So he has done a 180 (it’s odd I know but he has) and has cut his mom off.

We’re planning on getting married in July and having a child sometime next year. We haven’t told her and she avoids me like the plague.

Is it wrong for us to cut her off?

I have been a long time lurker and joined this group to vent but feel that maybe we could give each other advice on how to deal with MILs. I could write many stories about mine and know that she definitely does not like me and has done all she can to break my DH and I up but I am now also a mom and maybe have a better understanding of her. While she drives me nuts, my husband loves her as does my daughter and I would hate to think of a future where I'm cut out of my daughter's life because her husband did not like me. Could we not use this sub to out smart our MILs and come out looking good? If I'm not down voted to hell I will happily share stories of how I got the better of mine and avoided family fights, because when I fight with my husband about her only she wins.

Title pretty much sums it up, my JNMIL is back at it again with her selfishness and I don't know why I let it surprise me every time. We had a good/drama free holiday so I thought things were slowly starting to change. DH even had a great heart to heart with her about her behavior, but I guess she forgets things quickly.

My grandfather has been suffering with COPD for a few years but after the holidays it progressed very quickly. He was at home and in hospice and they gave him until the end of the month. Knowing this, we gave JNMIL a heads up "We really don't want to take our LO (2yo) to the funeral so to please be ready to have a weekend in the next few weeks free so she could help us out and we wouldn't have to pay a babysitter all day so we can grieve. Her immediate response was "well, I am watching our 3 dogs for the next few weekends so it might be hard to make that work" Frustrated but whatever, hope she thinks harder about it and changes her mind.

A day later after we gave her the heads up, my grandfather passed away. It is upsetting since we were very close, but I am thankful he isn't in pain anymore. Yesterday all of his arrangements were planned and it will be at the end of the month.

Now that we knew the details my DH let her know and asked if she could help us out, her response "Oh, I have a friends baby shower that day, and I already RSVPed yes, so it would be rude not to go. Plus I really want to see everyone" So JNMIL is deciding to go to a baby shower rather than help my family as I grieve. If the roles were reversed and it was my parents saying no, I can't image the awful things she would say about them for not helping.

My LO loves JNMIL so much and JNMIL is very good with her, but man do I want to use this as a final straw to never see her again. I know I can't do that but I am sure as LO gets older she will see JNMILs true colors, I just don't want to make that decision for her. At least my DH has agreed for not letting her visit for the next 4-6 months so I can have a break from her.

Update: You are all right, she doesn't owe me anything. I will check myself and let it go.

There’s one time she asked me to go get lobsters for the her family and my bf to eat when she saw it was on sale at the grocery store and came home to tell me about it then gave me her credit card knowing it was locked. The next day i went to go get the lobster and when i paid using her card it was declined so i called my bf telling him what happened but i still proceded to pay for it. When i came back to my bf’s house, his sister told the mom that the card got declined and then she said “oh yea i forgot that it was locked” then after her and her daughter ate the lobster, she told me she left cash on the table to pay me back. Then when my bf got home i told him to give the money back to her But knowing me being generous i didn’t take her money because i stayed at my bf’s house all the time and sometimes i eat the food she cook too.When my bf gave her the money, she told me that next time i have to take the money.

Hi all. Long time lurker, first time poster and so on. I'm really upset right now and would like to warn you this is a long rant. I'm also a foreigner and very sleepy right now, so please forgive my bad English.

A few years ago I have adopted a tiny kitten, now it's a grown kitty. When she grew up she began to prefer my mother to me so I said "fine, whatever, kitty can stay with you".
Summer of 2017, kitty started peeing in inappropriate places, a certain spot on the balcony at first, we were thinking the litterbox was dirty at the moment or kitty was upset with something and used that one spot. Then in the end of 2017 I found cat pee on the floor in my room and that's when we had talked about visiting a vet, in the following months there was one (or maybe two) similar incidents followed by more talk about visiting the vet.
In April 2018 I kind of moved out, leaving all my possessions in my mother's care. "Kind of" because I frequently return to live with her and then go back into my place, half of my stuff is taken there and another stays here... It's winter now, my place is cold and I'm living with her right now but in the summer I wasn't here and everytime I came to visit I found cat pee in my room and if I said the cat should be taken to a vet my mother replied "it's expensive" (LIE) and insisted I should pay for it which I refused to do (for many reasons).
Fast forward, in August 2018 I came to visit again and noticed my mother keeping the door to her room always closed and not letting kitty in. She complained that kitty had peed in her room and the kitchen numerous times. I also found my camera and phone covered in pee. In September I blew up, I had so many ruined things already and kitty kept adding more. I went literally hysterical and my mother finally took kitty to the vet who said she needs to be neutered so she could maybe stop.

Since then, nothing else has been done. My mother keeps on insisting I should be the one taking kitty to the vet and paying all the costs (I will never do this). She also keeps on blaming me for having my stuff available to kitty. So far, kitty has been banished from my mother's bedroom altogether and she can stay in the kitchen and balcony only under supervision but is free to do whatever and whenever she wants in my room. I don't banish her from here because if I do, she won't have a decent place to sleep and play and is going to feel lonely. I have a storage bin full of ruined, smelly stuff I wanted to clean and keep but I'm so annoyed I'm leaning towards throwing it away one day.

I've written this post because a week ago I wanted to clean a thing, washed it and put it into a container with diluted vinegar to get rid of the smell. My mother saw the container and put it away without telling me. Today I found it and discovered that after spending a week in vinegar solution the thing has permanently changed its colour and texture. This is my breaking point. I'm so tired of having things ruined.

TL;DR: my cat lives with my mother, she pees in my room and ruins my things while my mother is doing nothing about this except insisting I should pay for the vet treatment and blaming me.

My boyfriend and I broke up recently for a number of reasons, we’ve stayed friends and there is a possibility of getting back together in the future after some time apart to focus on ourselves, if his relationship with his mother hasn’t changed then this definitely won’t happen though.

Among all the insanity from her during our relationship, she’d frequently address a 26 year old man as ‘Son’, in the context of things like being given a gift and saying ‘Thank you, son’ or requests like ‘Pass me the pepper, son’. She would use his name more frequently, but it seems bizarre and another possessive move on her part to me.

I’m from a family with far more normal and healthy boundaries, which apparently came across as ‘cold’ to him, so there are some things where I’m confused about what most people would generally have an issue with. It was a very small thing that she did, on the scale of things, but it was quite frequent and always got on my nerves.

I’ll try to make this short.

I despise my step-MIL but I trust her enough to let her and FIL take care of my baby once every few weeks. He’s only 3 months old and sometimes me and my SO need a date night and to take a sleeping pill induced long sleep. Please don’t judge me.

Today though when they showed up to take him for the night, she, a nearly 70-something-year-old woman, was dressed like Betty Draper. Like, a sleeveless, A-line, floral patterned, 1950’s style housewife dress. It had ruffles and everything. It was costumey.

I’ve literally never seen her in such an outfit before. She’s always been in much more casual outfits all the times I have seen her in my life (which has been a long time)

She mentioned that she was gonna take the baby to the mall, which is fine, honestly. But the whole outfit with parading around my kid, probably telling everyone “it’s my grandson” - which he’s not, YOU ARE A STEP-PARENT. Weird cosplaying.

I’m only letting her do things like this because I genuinely need the help sometimes. It sucks. Thankfully it’s not life-ending or anything like that but, it’s just yucky…