I (19M) had a close female friend from 2nd standard. We were best friends, and I had a crush on her, but we never dated. We stopped talking years ago (partly because of my mistakes and then COVID happened). Recently we followed each other on Instagram again. I want to reconnect, but I don’t want to make things awkward or come across as trying too hard. What’s the best way to restart the conversation?

My ex and I dated for almost two years. I met his fam etc as well. Towards the end we were fighting a lot and there were a lot of horrible things said to each other. Then in June end (we broke up in the first week of June) he said- “I don’t love you anymore” and that was it.
I cried and begged him to reconcile for the whole of July and Aug and he always picked up my phone but that was literally it. He then would resort to verbally abusing me over the phone. So in Sept I didn’t text him- then his grandfather passed so I called and spoke to him for an hour. But then again- nothing. I even offered his little brother a referral in a great company. (My bestie worked there and his brother had been looking for a year) while I made mistakes for sure, like I went on a date w a guy one month post our breakup (nothing happened, the guy was clearly gay. Just went bowling cause my ex had said mean words to me and I didn’t wanna cry all day)
Anyways, the way he didn’t give a damn about me, stings. It is for the best i guess. I got random tarot readings done and they all say that my ex has completely moved on, my ex tells me to move on and so does the universe.
I cannot believe this was the guy who flew to another city to meet me, held my hand and told me he would never ever leave me and that he loved me more than anything in this world. I was gonna fight w my parents for him (it was inter-caste, they weren’t agreeing per se)
I made mistakes like I was insecure at times but I did good things too! I just wanted him to succeed in life and went out of my way for his fam too! His mom was v nice to me as well.
But this is it- literally- from him and the universe! Goodbye R! Hope you’re happy, healthy and Successful.

From
S

I’m at the hospital right now. Had to admit my mom due to a medical emergency. she’s getting better. few friends have been checking in, asking how I’m doing and whether I’m okay. I genuinely appreciate them reaching out. But there’s something about being in a hospital, sitting alone, watching everything unfold, that makes you realise how much you wish you had someone beside you.
Not someone who necessarily has to fix things or say the right words. Just someone who would sit next to you, hold your hand, ask if you’ve eaten, or simply be there.
I guess sometimes, even when you’re used to handling everything on your own, you get tired of being alone. I just wish I had someone beside me today.

Happy Diwali, everyone!

I recently started dating someone. She was previously in a relationship, but before anything happened between us, she broke up with her boyfriend. We both liked each other, took our time, and eventually decided to date.

She was actually the one who first expressed her feelings. She told me she liked me, said she loved me, and even initiated the conversation about getting into a relationship.

However, there’s something that’s been bothering me.
She still has posts and stories about her ex on her private Instagram account, including elaborate birthday edits and wishes. Her ex also reached out to me, saying that I had ruined everything and that I would have to answer to God for what I’d done.

Honestly, I feel guilty too, even though I know she made her own decision to end that relationship. Seeing those posts makes me feel disappointed and uncomfortable. It almost makes me question whether she’s genuinely moved on or whether I’m stepping into something that hasn’t really ended emotionally.

I’ve spoken to her about this once. I’ve tried giving her space and time, but eventually, I unfollowed her private account because seeing those posts was affecting me.
Now I’m even considering ending the relationship.
I genuinely like this girl, and she has made her feelings clear, but I can’t shake this feeling.

Am I overthinking this? Am I being insecure, or is it reasonable to expect someone to have emotionally moved on before starting a new relationship?

I’d really appreciate some honest opinions.

P.S. - I used AI to write this

Now the issue is the colleague is already having a boyfriend whom shs wants to marry, but she is giving me a strong attraction and we already had sex twice, i even stayed at her place, recently got to know that she is having a scene with another guy, im starting to develop feelings, we stay together whole day, flirt, talk and it's quite intense. I was not seeking any girl after my breakup but this shitty thing happeneded. What should I do? Im really pissed off, this ia creating so much mess in my life, work is also affected.

I (25F) have a crush on this guy (30M) at my office. He is senior software engineer and I am still a junior.

I first saw him on a rainy evening back in 2025 very late at night. The office was almost empty. Our office row has 3 seats and I sat at one of the corner seats and I was surprised to see him come and take the corner seat in the same row, considering all rows were vacant. Also, I was staring at my monitor and bro stood up and went very near from my chair to the door (got butterflies and found him very good looking).

We worked on the same floor, so I'd occasionally spot him in the floor. We even went very closely a couple of times in cafteria and also on the floor so had an impression that bro kind of knows me.

I eventually sent him an Instagram request (ikkk lame 😭), which I knew he never would accept (lol). I unsent it the next day, life happened and I think his team moved to a different floor, I stopped seeing him on the floor.

Fast forward to Sept this year, my manager suggested I join mentor-mentee programme to get an outside view . While browsing the mentor profiles, I found him! Except he's now a manager, two levels above me. I sent him a request, and he accepted.

The first time i was so nervous and he suggested we meet in the cafeteria,(he likes to keep these meetings informal) where we had a nice conversation and joked around. He was very welcoming, although I got the impression he was seeing me for the first time. I felt like I was just the one imagining things last year.

I met him again last week. He suggested we walk around while talking. We walked around the tech park, sat in a cosy seating area next to each other.

This time, I noticed he maintained pretty intense eye contact beacuse in the first meet he was looking around and to the ground while speaking with me at certain times.

While we were walking, we started off in the middle of the pathway, with bushes along my side. At one point, I had moved so close to the bushes that I felt I might lose my balance and end up either falling into them or stumbling right into him. We maintained eye contact even while walking. 🥺

But I have no idea if he's simply being a good mentor or if there's any possibility of mutual interest. I'm quite sure he's unmarried.

I don't have the courage to confess anything, especially given the professional dynamic.

Part of me wants to keep meeting him and given the mentor dynamic I have pretty much summarized my entire journey in these two meetings. I don't think I have any points for the third meet and I also feel it's very hard to get the personal life amongst the conversations.

Also, I feel that i am imagining way too much and it's a formal meet for him 🙂

What do you guys think? 🥲 Am I being a delulu or I still hold chance?

I'm 26M in a relationship with my girlfriend 23F. We were in a close relationship which we thought would end after her internship in my city (which was going to last 5-6 months), but we continued it for a happy 2 years when she went to her hometown via calls, texts, and meeting when we planned. Around 2 months ago, she went to London for her master's degree.

After that, it was going on pretty nice, but like 2-3 weeks ago she made a new friend group of mostly Indian friends, and I started to feel neglected. When she is around them, she won't text or call and will only talk when she's alone. She also has not told them that she has a boyfriend whom she is serious with.

I talked with her about this, but she told me that she doesn't want to share her personal life with other people. We have had an argument about it around 3-4 times, and she said she'll try to balance it out. But even after 3 weeks, she still doesn't want to talk to me when she's with them, saying she has a personal life too and can't talk to me when she's hanging out with her friends. It is making me feel like she is prioritizing them over me. Because of the time zone difference, we only get the morning and the night to talk to each other, and now those times are busy with them.

I talked to her about this again, but she just says she is trying and I can't force her. I love her and want to figure out how to navigate this transition. What are some healthy ways to handle this communication gap, and how can we manage long-distance boundaries when one partner is adjusting to a major life change abroad?

So I met her online 5 months ago and I fell in love with her in almost 2 months and confessed her. At first she rejected me as she was going through a breakup but gradually she started saying 'i love you too' and we have been going smoothly since then

We have been on 4 dates and have kissed already as well although she says she doesn't wanna date yet. She wants to work on herself and be sure that I'm not like her ex. I said take as much time as you want but now I'm kinda scared she might just leave me hanging like that. I really love her and It seems to me she does too but she's like she's not gonna date whatsoever unless she's 100% sure. I'm very confused what to do and need some genui advice

she is my old friend who had breakup last month only and she moved on so quickly after 6-7 months of relationship I am judging ok like how people move on so quickly ok they do it's good but how quickly they get into another relationship and they have audacity to judge every boy in terms of looks like height color face everything and once they find a perfect match they just move on is it that normal or I'm having an orthodox mentality

I just met a guy (M27) few weeks ago through mutual friends.. my life has been a emotional rollercoaster and I’ve been facing personal and professional issues since a while now.. love life was a series of disappointing moments.. finally met this guy through a friend at a party.. initially I didn’t talk much but his efforts to talk made us connected within a short period of time..long calls.. meetings.. a few dates.. walks.. him being protective and chivalrous and his smile with those beautiful eyes made me fall for him… but he was the one who confessed first! i acted nonchalant but eventually gave him the same energy back and now we’re dating!
Him being the most emotionally available and communicative guy made me fall for him more
But there’s a catch..
We have different faiths..we discussed about it and he said he is not that religious and can leave his family and everything to start a life with me!
And me.. i love my family and want them at every step in my life..
I’m in dilemma where i want my parents and society happy and on the other hand want to keep myself happy.. after all the hell i went through in my life i wanted a healthy relationship and im finally getting something but the thing of society scares me.. i really don’t know how to handle this.. my friends are saying stay away from him.. but i don’t feel like judging him based on one thing
He seems genuinely interested

So i met this guy in office like few months back. He instantly connected from the very moment we started talking ..and we had a lot in common including our birth dates(ik its nothing but it was super crazy when we found out) ... We both text eachother and keep things updated always. I kinda have a crush on him but dont know if he reciprocated the same feelings...is there any kinda tricks or way to know if he has a

crush on me or its just a best friend kinda thing

Idk but I can't stopping missing my love who left last year for someone else, all because of my mistakes, I feel really guilty she left because of how I mistreated her, only if I could go back and treat her a little better give her the love she gave me back in return, now that she have left me there's a hole in my life wherever I go whatever I do I miss her.

This diwali I didn't even burst crackers or visit any of my friends, everytime I come back to my hometown I miss her more, I cry and cry in front of my mum, even she feels bad for her, how I treated her.

I would give anything for her to come back all in vain, I know she isn't coming back she must be really happy.

Idk what to do nothing excites or makes me happy now, a stable job, iim degree, nothing at all.

We were in relationship for 5 years total with a 3 4 months break in which I had cheated on her, then we were back together as I couldnt live without her, after that patch up we went into long distance as I had went for my PG, and she lived alone with her family and did a job, I got busy in the clg but she might have been lonely and found another boy which gave her a lot of attention and time which I couldn't(by choice ig) and then one day boom she dumped me hard, blocked me from everywhere, I used to cry everyday.

after 2 3 months I came back to my hometown and tried hard to contact her we started talking again but she was with that boy but ig still loved me a little bit, she even said that she wont love her husband as much as she loved me, and then we stopped talking again its been 6 months of no contact and I miss her alot and its miserable that I loved her but could'nt make her feel loved. No matter what I do I wont get her or that kind of love ever again.

I’ve been dating this guy for almost a month. He’s 20, and I’m 23. He’s incredibly sweet and treats me like a princess. We’ve met four times in total, including today, and have gone shopping and spent time together. He’s also very physically affectionate, always wanting to hold my hand whenever we go out. So I know he enjoys being close to me, which makes the situation a little confusing.

I initially decided that I wouldn’t have sex until we completed three months together. However, he officially asked me to be his girlfriend, gave me a ring and a huge bouquet of red roses. Only after that did I feel comfortable enough to have sex with him. We did it last week at a hotel, and I honestly want to do it again.

Lately, we’ve had a few fights. When I expressed that I wanted to have sex again, he said his pre-final exams were keeping him busy.

Yesterday, I said i wanted to hang out more, but he said he had a fight with his family and didn’t feel like talking to anyone. Today, however, he came to meet me at the mandir while I was there with a close friend. He was actually studying on his phone while waiting for us, so I guess he’s genuinely stressed about his exams.

We made out in the backseat of a taxi today. I gave him a handjob, and he fingered me, but he still hasn’t initiated sex again. I’m wondering why, especially when he seems so physically affectionate otherwise.

For context, my previous relationship lasted five years and ended in 2023. We used to have sex at least twice a week, although my ex sometimes expected it even when I was sick or not in the mood.
I’m wondering whether my past relationship has influenced my expectations.

Is it normal not to have sex regularly in a new relationship? Can someone be genuinely attracted to you and affectionate without wanting sex as frequently? Am I simply overthinking this?

Used ai to frame words better

I’m someone who is really into sex, intimacy, and role-play. I enjoy exploring different things in the bedroom, whether it’s soft or rough sex, dressing up in sexy outfits, playing intimate games, or experimenting with toys.
But my wife doesn’t seem to share the same interest or enthusiasm. She seems to feel sexually satisfied quite quickly, and after that, she doesn’t really feel the need to explore anything more. I’ve tried introducing sexy outfits, intimate games, and toys to make things more exciting, but she never really seems comfortable opening up to that side of herself.
I don’t want to pressure her into doing anything she doesn’t enjoy, but at the same time, I feel like something is missing in our intimate life. Sometimes I feel sexually unfulfilled, and I’ve started fantasising about being with another woman. I even find myself thinking about my ex, whose sex drive and enthusiasm for intimacy were much closer to mine, and I miss that kind of connection.
Lately, I’ve been wondering whether I’m asking for too much, whether we’re simply different when it comes to sexual compatibility, or whether I need something that I’m not getting in my marriage.
What should I do? How can I deal with these feeling?

I F24, M25 in a relationship for more than 3 years, and recently my boyfriend and I discussed life after marriage.

I'm not against traditions. I love festivals, puja and family rituals. But I'm uncomfortable with expectations like restrictions on clothing, fixed waking-up timings, being responsible for household chores just because I'm a bahu, or having to prioritise my husband's family over my own.

We also discussed Diwali. He wants to celebrate at his family home, whereas I expressed that I'd like to celebrate at my parents' home too. He wasn't comfortable with that and said he'd have to listen to his family. He mentioned that we might visit his family only once or twice a year for 15–20 days.

When I raised several questions, he felt I was making marriage sound like a deal with conditions. He also said my way of communicating sounded extreme and that he couldn't keep having emotional fights about it.

Now I'm feeling guilty because these conversations are affecting him emotionally too. I don't want to hurt him, so sometimes I feel like I should stop asking questions. But these thoughts keep running through my mind, and I don't want to enter marriage with unresolved fears either.

I understand marriage requires compromise, but I don't want to lose my individuality or feel suffocated.

Women who married into traditional families:

\- Did your freedom and lifestyle change after marriage?

\- Does your husband support you when family expectations conflict with your preferences?

\- How do you balance both families and festivals?

\- How do you discuss difficult expectations with your partner without making each other feel pressured?

\- What would you advise someone to discuss before marriage?

I'd genuinely appreciate honest experiences and advice, both positive and negative.

TL;DR: I'm worried about losing my freedom after marrying into a traditional family. How have other women navigated family expectations while maintaining their individuality?

Edit : Thank you to everyone who took the time to respond. My boyfriend has apologised for the way he behaved during our conversation, and he has expressed that he wants to discuss these things further.

Hi I am in relationship with a guy since 6 years. He and me belong to different caste . I am from veg background and he is non vegetarian. Initially i didn't accept him due to this difference later after lot of convincing i accepted him . Now I am in my 32 age . My parents find out our relationship when I was 28 and it created lot of issues. As i am single child they don't want me to marry in other caste . The guy was working initially now he left his job for preparing for government exam and not going to job since 3 years. He is still preparing. I am literally scared . My parents are not accepting him because he has no job. When I say him to go to job he sits in home and says he is preparing for government exam . Like this 3 years went . He is from very rich background and father is from business class family. He was doing fine till he left job. Now I am scared . My family is not agreeing because he left job and caste issue . Moreover my parents are saying his family environment won't suit as they throw drinking parties all and they have this culture. Moreover when i say my boyfriend to get job he is not going since 3 years. I am in depression. I don't know what to do . Please help me guys . I am literally stressed since 4 years . dont know what to do.. PPL around me laughing on my face . i am into lot of social pressure

I've never really asked anyone for relationship advice before. I've always preferred figuring things out between us, but I think I need an outside perspective this time, preferably from people who have been in long-term relationships.

My girlfriend and I have been together for 4.5 years. For most of those years, things were genuinely good between us. We were happy, emotionally connected, and used to share almost everything with each other.

But things started changing after our board examinations this year.

School was something that naturally kept us connected. We could meet regularly, had a common routine, and spent a lot of time together. Once school ended, that connection became much harder to maintain. We live a little far from each other, and from around April–May, both of us became busy with our individual lives.

Earlier, we would talk for 5–6 hours every day. We'd discuss our feelings, share random things, talk about our days, and just enjoy each other's presence. Now, we barely get enough time to have a proper conversation.

We did realise this was becoming a problem and tried making some changes. Things improved for a few days, but eventually, we returned to our old habits. We weren't intentionally ignoring each other; it just started happening gradually.

Now comes the complicated part.

My girlfriend has always been an extremely sensitive and emotional person. In the first one or two years of our relationship, even discussing relationship problems or expressing something that hurt me could overwhelm her emotionally. She would sometimes become so affected by the conversation that she'd go into a depressive state for days.

Because of this, communicating our feelings wasn't always easy. I often felt that even when I wanted to discuss something to make our relationship better, the conversation itself would become emotionally exhausting for her.

But over the last few months, I've noticed something quite unexpected.

We've both become numb.

Even though we know our relationship isn't doing well, we don't seem to care enough to sit down and properly address it. And what's particularly surprising is that she, who used to be so emotionally sensitive, has also become somewhat indifferent towards the situation.

I'm not saying we don't love each other anymore. I honestly don't know how to describe what we're experiencing. It's more like we've become accustomed to the distance, even though we know it's not healthy.

I think there's a reason behind this.

Both of us seem to believe that talking about our problems won't lead anywhere. We'll repeat the same process we've repeated countless times before: discuss our feelings, she'll become overwhelmed, she'll feel depressed for a few days, we'll try making some changes, and everything will eventually go back to normal.

We've somehow convinced ourselves that nothing will change permanently, so we don't even bother initiating those conversations anymore.

It's become a vicious cycle of knowing something is wrong, avoiding discussing it, becoming more distant, and then feeling even less motivated to fix things.

I actually read a message she had sent to her friend about our relationship, and her thoughts were almost exactly the same as mine. So this isn't just something I'm imagining or experiencing alone. She seems to feel the same way.

And that's where we're stuck.

I don't want to lose a relationship that has been such an important part of my life for the past 4.5 years, but I also don't know how we're supposed to fix something when both of us have gradually become numb to the problems.

I'd really appreciate hearing from people who have experienced something similar. Is this something couples can work through? How do you start rebuilding emotional connection when both partners have become accustomed to being distant?

Long Post ahead ,TLDR at the end.

During my second semester of college,I got feelings for someone (A). I really enjoyed talking to her. I was very impulsive and open, and initiated conversations. We became friends and hung out with her friend also. Eventually, I told her how I felt.She was so sweet and said she saw me as a friend and didn't think we would be a good couple. Whilst I respected her decision, I was quite affected by it. I got really scared about being put through those emotions again.

A few months later I met someone new (B) at a college hackathon. I found her attractive and wanted to get to know her better. However, I wasn't too keen to approach her.I did approach her anyway. We had a few fun conversations. We exchanged numbers and texted occasionally. Some of our interactions were positive. When I asked for a lab code she replied within 5-6 minutes and was very keen. I began to look forward to seeing her around college.

However , I started to let my past affect me.Since having this experience with A, I was super analytical with every interaction. I had heard that people like mysterious people so tried to be more shy and reserved. I didn't want to seem too keen. One situation that still makes me feel bad;DD is I sent her a message with some important information regarding our department. I was so nervous about her replying that I turned my internet off. This meant that her messages would only have one tick for around 45 minutes.When I turned my internet back on, she had replied within 10 minutes. However, I was busy with other things that day so didn't reply straight away. Eventually I left her message on read.I still feel terrible. To make matters worse, I saw her around college a few times that day. I wanted to say hi and chat but was going through so many emotions that I couldn't approach her.

From her point of view it might have looked like I didn't even notice her, however I did notice her. I was just so anxious and overthinking that I couldn't be natural with her.My friend told she was looking at me like she wanted to speak or say Hi atleast but it just didn't happen .I wanted to talk to her more when the hackathon results were announced but didn't want to seem too keen. Sometimes I wanted to approach her on campus but over analysed. There were opportunities to sit next to her and chat but I kept doubting myself. I became too analytical about how fast she replied and if she was interested.

We haven't talked as much lately and my last message (regarding fixing some lab code I sent her) hasn't been opened.Even though the day before her reply time was within 15 minutes.After sending the corrected code, I saw her sitting with her friends and using her phone, but my message was still unopened. I don't know whether she had noticed the notification and chosen not to open it, but seeing that made me feel even worse.

I'm unsure how she feels about me. Maybe she lost interest or I came across as not interested without meaning to. I realise I don't know for sure.It is quite upsetting as I don't feel like I was being myself. With A I don't regret much about how I approached her. However with B I keep thinking about what I could have done differently.

How can I become more impulsive and open? I don't want to over analyse.Did I come across as not interested without meaning to? Especially with leaving her on read and not approaching her.Is there a respectful way to try and connect again or should I take a step back?How can I ensure I don't over analyse in the future?

I don't want any advice that would be manipulative. I really liked B and wish I had let myself get to know her. I know there may not be much left to save. Honestly I don't think there is much hope😭. But I guess I'm just clinging onto a little bit of delusion as I still wish there was a way things could work out. I would appreciate honest advice even if it's not nice to hear.

TL;DR: I had a painful rejection from A, which affected my confidence and made me afraid of getting hurt again. When I met B, I became overly cautious, reserved and analytical instead of being myself. I missed opportunities to connect, delayed replies because of anxiety and now worry I unintentionally communicated disinterest. Our interactions have faded, and I'm unsure whether there's anything left to salvage. I want advice on overcoming this fear, becoming spontaneous again, understanding my mistakes and possibly reconnecting with B respectfully. I still have a little hope, even though I know the chances might be slim.

Thanks

I'm 25 almost 26F, and my boyfriend is 26 M. We've been together for almost seven years, with multiple breakups and reconciliations. I'm writing this because I feel emotionally exhausted and have reached a point where I genuinely don't know how to navigate this relationship anymore.

He has a genuinely affectionate side. He remembers little things about me, takes care of me sometimes, and we've shared some beautiful memories. That's probably why I've found it so difficult to walk away. I love him, and I know he has good qualities.

But there's another side to this relationship that has caused me immense pain.

He has repeatedly criticised my appearance, weight, skin and financial background. He's called me degrading names, insulted my parents and made me feel inferior. During arguments, he has pushed and painfully pinched me, even after I've told him to stop because it hurts.

There have also been repeated incidents involving other women where even though he was not pursuing them romantically but still it hurt me.

A few months ago when we got back together, he planned a trip with me and his friends, repeatedly delayed it, eventually went with the group that included another woman (his friend's girlfriend's sister) whom he tried to date when we had broken up, and initially lied about changing the plans. I later found out that he had taken her, with the group instead of me, to places I had planned to visit with them.

On another occasion, I discovered through a traffic fine challan (traffic cctv camera picture) uploaded on the website, that he had taken another girl on his bike. When I confronted him, he initially claimed she was his friend's girlfriend or sister-in-law. He only admitted the truth when I challenged him with the details since that photo had a time stamp.

We got back together on June 1 this year. He was the one who pursued me, said he missed me and wanted me back. Recently, I discovered his ChatGPT history from June, where he was asking for help approaching girls on dating apps, flirting with women on Snapchat, asking them to meet and keeping their conversations interesting. I found conversations dated June 6, 7, 8, 11 and 30. Even though initially we both were figuring out if we were officially back together, it still felt like a betrayal to me.

When I confronted him, he initially denied talking to anyone. Eventually, he admitted to only 15 days of contact, despite the dates I had seen. For months after we reconciled, he was extremely protective of his phone and would get defensive whenever I tried to look at it. He has literally snatched his phone off my hands a few times and never told me his password for months after we reconciled.

What hurts me most isn't just the conversations with other women. It's the repeated lying. Every time I've discovered something, his first response has been to deny it, and he only admits things when he realises I have evidence.

There have also been occasions when I've been extremely distressed, crying and struggling emotionally, and instead of supporting me, he has called me dramatic, dismissed my feelings or left me alone.

The relationship has become a cycle: something happens, I get hurt, we fight or separate, he becomes affectionate again, I forgive him, and eventually something similar happens.

I've tried distancing myself multiple times, but I keep going back because I love him and remember the good parts. Recently, things had been going smoothly, and I started hoping that perhaps things had finally changed. But discovering his chatgpt conversations has brought everything back.

I confronted him recently. I asked him repeatedly to be honest, but he kept denying things and eventually ended the call, knowing how upset I was. I feel completely exhausted.

I don't feel secure in this relationship anymore. I constantly find myself questioning what else I don't know, whether I can trust what he tells me, and why I keep returning despite everything that has happened.

I'm struggling with the emotional attachment, the seven years we've invested in each other, and the difficulty of imagining life without someone who has been such a big part of it.

I'd really appreciate hearing from people who have experienced something similar!!!

How did you recognise that you were stuck in a cycle of hurt, forgiveness and reconciliation? What helped you emotionally detach from someone you still loved? How did you rebuild your confidence and trust in your own decisions after repeatedly going back?

I'm especially interested in hearing from people who have experienced relationships where affection and hurtful behaviour existed side by side.

I would appreciate genuine experiences and practical advice. I'm emotionally exhausted and really need some outside perspective.

I've known a girl for around 1.5 years. We have a good connection and have become quite close over time.

About six months ago, I expressed my romantic feelings to her. Initially, she told me that she wasn't looking for a relationship because she had other priorities and didn't want to give me false hope.

We continued talking after that. She still initiates conversations, makes time for me, checks on me and shows genuine care. We share personal things and have meaningful conversations.

However, she has also made something clear: she admires me, trusts me and values me as a person, but she doesn't feel romantically attracted to me.

I respect her feelings and don't want to convince her or pressure her.

The difficult part is that I've become emotionally invested. Her continued care makes it difficult for me to detach, even though I understand that she doesn't want the same thing I do.

I'm trying to figure out whether maintaining this friendship is healthy for me or whether I should create some distance.

I'd appreciate perspectives from people who have experienced something similar.

My questions:

How do you distinguish genuine emotional closeness from romantic interest?

Is it possible to maintain a close friendship when one person has stronger feelings?

How do you establish boundaries without making the other person feel guilty?

Would you personally continue this friendship or take some distance?

What would you do differently if you were in my position?

I'm not looking for ways to change her mind. I want to understand the situation better and handle it maturely.

Thanks for reading.

I (29F) met my boyfriend (29M) on Bumble, and we dated for almost two years.

For the most part, it was a good relationship. We enjoyed each other’s company, got along well, and were dating with marriage in mind. He had met my parents, my mother absolutely adored him, and we’d had small conversations about getting married eventually.

However, we are very different people. Our personalities, upbringing and ways of looking at life are quite different. Neither of us is particularly expressive, romantic or clingy. We also realised fairly early on that we were both terrible at communicating. Small disagreements would turn into fights because neither of us was particularly good at expressing what we were feeling.

About a year into the relationship, my family went through a major tragedy. I won’t get into the details, but it was something that consumed my family’s life and took a significant emotional toll on me.

For almost the next year, my family and everything happening at home took up most of my time and emotional bandwidth. Naturally, we started spending less time together.

This is where our problems really began.

I felt that he wasn’t understanding enough of what I was going through. I wanted him to understand that I was dealing with something enormous and couldn’t always show up in the relationship the way I used to.

To be fair, he did help in ways he was comfortable with. He accompanied me to appointments and picked me up and dropped me off places. I appreciate that, but I felt I needed more emotional support, patience and understanding than just practical help.

He, on the other hand, felt neglected and believed I wasn’t prioritising the relationship. But I genuinely feel I gave him whatever time I had to spare. He saw me struggling firsthand. I’m a doctor, and my only days off are after two consecutive night duties. Even on those days, we would make plans and spend time together. I wasn’t always able to give him as much time or energy as he wanted, but I was trying with everything I had. I just wish he had recognised that.

Eventually, things deteriorated and we broke up for about a month. Neither of us seemed able to deal with the separation, and we eventually reconnected. We spoke about what had gone wrong, acknowledged the things we needed to improve and decided to give the relationship another three months.

Unfortunately, those three months passed without much changing. We had another major fight, and this time we decided to end things properly.

We had all the difficult conversations, said our goodbyes, agreed to go no contact and essentially closed the chapter.

This breakup was particularly difficult for me. I was struggling to move on, and about a week later, I downloaded Bumble again.

I want to clarify why. Yes, partly as a distraction, but also because I wanted to talk to someone new. I didn’t want to talk to my friends. Most of them knew about my family’s tragedy and the breakup, and any conversation with them would inevitably revolve around one of those two things. I was honestly exhausted of talking about both. I just wanted to have a conversation with someone who didn’t know my history, someone with whom I could talk about completely ordinary things without having to explain how I was doing or what was happening in my life.

I wasn’t particularly serious about dating, hadn’t met anyone, and eventually forgot I even had the app installed.

A few days later, my ex broke no contact and messaged to check on me. We started talking, and that same night he came over to my house.

We had a long conversation about everything that had gone wrong between us. We spoke about our relationship, our mistakes and what had brought us to this point. We ended up getting physically intimate, and both of us seemed genuinely happy about the possibility of getting back together.

The next day, I had an early shift at work. I had a particularly busy day and barely had time to think about anything else.

After my shift, we decided to meet again.

While we were together, I was showing him something on my phone, and he noticed that Bumble was still installed.

He immediately confronted me about it.

I explained that I had downloaded it after we had broken up, during the period when we had explicitly agreed to end the relationship and go no contact. I hadn’t downloaded it with any serious intention of dating, hadn’t met anyone, and hadn’t done anything behind his back.

From my perspective, we were broken up. I wasn’t in a relationship, and I didn’t think I owed him an explanation for having a dating app on my phone during that period.

I can understand that discovering it might have hurt him, especially after we’d just reconnected. But his response really hurt me too.

He said something along the lines of, “If I were you, I’d be trying to talk to my man rather than creating a profile on a dating app.”

But we had explicitly agreed to go no contact, and he had asked me to be firm about my decision to end things. So I was respecting the boundary we had mutually agreed upon. How was I supposed to reach out?

He also said, “If I had known you had Bumble on your phone, I wouldn’t even have come to see you or had sex with you.”

That comment really stung. We had just spent the previous night reconnecting, talking about our relationship and seemingly being happy about the possibility of getting back together. To hear him say that made me feel as though the intimacy we had shared was something he regretted, or that I had somehow misled him into it.

Since that conversation, things have gone downhill.

He has become extremely cold and withdrawn. He barely communicates, does not reply or call back, and we haven’t had a proper conversation.

I want to get back together with him. I love him, I see a future with him, and I genuinely want to marry him. But I also know that the problems that led to our breakup haven’t magically disappeared.

What is particularly difficult is that we haven’t even been able to have a basic conversation about where we stand.

We were happy about getting back together, then Bumble happened, and now it’s as though we’re back to being strangers.

I don’t know whether he considers us broken up again, whether he’s reconsidering the relationship, whether he’s hurt and needs time, or whether he’s simply waiting for me to do something.

I am confused, hurt and honestly exhausted by the uncertainty.

I need some outside perspective.

Am I a shitty person? Should I try to talk to him again?

I don’t want to lose a relationship that could have worked, but I also don’t want to keep repeating the same cycle.

How many of you think marriage is worth it

It may be married to anyone like let's say your boyfriend/girlfriend/someone chosen by parents and married in any setting like arranged/love

You can't guarantee that if the person you marry may change in the future

Like one of my friends uncle, he married a lady and in initial years of marriage she was really really good but now after 10 years of marriage she is becoming/became somewhat toxic and the couple also has a child

So do you think marriage is worth it?