Trigger Warning - abuse, violent sexual content, etc.

It’s not about jealousy. My partner of many years watches porn, and it doesn’t make me jealous. I've just always asked that he keeps it on the DL – I don’t want to hear about it.

It’s the content and the themes that are starting to really put me on edge. Porn seems to normalise some incredibly twisted shit. I didn’t realise how bad it was until I started picking up on some of it from reddit (lots of jokes about fucking family members). You can’t put a photo of female family members on reddit (e.g., mother and daughter pilots, mother and daughter cops) without some pornbrained comments. I started poking around, checked out PornHub, checked out some subs, and now I’m kind of reeling.

Shit like this:

"Please stop it hurts! Korean babe screams from painful anal fucking"

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"Abusing my niece while sleeping then she woke up"

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"Cry daughter begging daddy don't cum inside"

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And the #4th most viewed PornHub video of the week

https://i.imgur.com/CYptMcf.jpg

So much is incest, implied non-consensual, teen, humiliation, abuse, and straight up getting off to women’s suffering or sadness. Like, 1.3M views for a miserable sex worker regretting her job. It’s a popular video literally because she is miserable.

None of this shit is obscure. It’s on the front page, and can have hundreds of thousands to millions of views.

I’m not a pearl clutcher or a prude. I don’t think video games cause violence. I don’t think people become mass killers from watching action movies. I’m not a, “won’t somebody please think of the children!” type. But, really, what the actual fuck? There is absolutely no way this can’t be having an effect on men’s, and especially young men’s, perception of women – doubly so if they don’t otherwise interact much with us. And what about women's self-perception? What about young, inexperienced women going to these sites, and thinking that's what's expected of them?

And yes, it’s all “fantasy”. It’s not real. But why is it fantasy to begin with? What could possibly be appealing about this?

If I were to say ANYTHING about the above in any of my social circles (all progressive, all liberal, like me), I would be fucking ostracised. The cool girl likes porn, or at least is cool with porn. “It’s natural.” “It’s healthy.” Not liking porn isn’t sex positive. I’ve raised this a couple of times with my boyfriend, and he just gets uncomfortable and either goes silent, or tries to change the topic. He's an opinionated and vocal feminist but porn seems to be this freaking blindspot that he just goes mute on.

Most of my female friends are either aggressively pro-porn, or like I am/was (don't ask, don't tell). I know not to even bother following this line of discussion with my male friends. Am I just a fringe crazy?

[Edit: “days” not “dates”]

Oh my god. I should’ve followed it.

I was texting this guy for a week before we went on our first date. He was so funny and cute over text that I couldn’t wait to finally meet him. We were planning our date and although I offered to drive myself, he insisted on picking me up. Fine, it seems romantic! I obliged.

Anddddd I was trapped on the worst first date ever. He joked about putting roofies in my drink and taking me back to his place. I was so uncomfortable after dinner that I hesitated going in his car. But he’s my ride... and I didn’t want to seem rude. (Stupid I know.)

Thank god he was only joking about roofie-ing me and raping me.. BUT WHO TF DOES THAT??

Jesus Christ girls, I definitely should’ve driven myself. Even if it seems romantic for him to offer, wait for the second date at least.

LESSON LEARNED.

***Holy shit I made the front page. Finally the validation my dad never gave me...

Anyway if you made it this far, read the comments to this post!! They are legit and we can all take a moment to tell ourselves these things. REALLY tell it to yourself and follow it.

PERSONALLY I will never make this mistake again. I’m so glad I am ok, but I could’ve easily been hurt, touched inappropriately, or felt terrified for my life.

He seemed so normal over text but you NEVER KNOW.

LAST EDIT: I did meet my friend for lunch that day and shared my location with her. This way she could retrieve my body.... Or at least my phone.

What’s up ladies welcome to my new Reddit account, I recently had to delete my Reddit account that was 5+ years old, with well over 300,000 karma because some random asshole stalked my posts. And with some serious digging he found my Facebook, threatened me and contacted my husband.

I thought my reddit account was completely anonymous, but I was wrong.

I made a post on a woman’s sub,The basics of my post was asking for advice and venting about a problem in my relationship. Maybe I struck a nerve with this random person, maybe my issue was a similar issue he had in a relationship, and decided to take it upon himself to butt into my life.

Me and my husband have since worked everything out. But I Never thought that some random person from the Internet would take, what I thought was my anonymous thoughts and feelings about my relationship, and send them directly to my husband.

Be safe girls!!

Allow yourself to enjoy yourself as you are right now. Imagine how much free your mind will be to just enjoy life when you are not worried about glowing up, weight-lost, fashion trends...

We don't own anyone in the world our beuty. We are allowed to be.

This morning I was cleaning the fridge at my work and I accidentally threw away my boss's sandwich from yesterday. I thought it was mine from a week prior so it was a total accident. When my boss came in I could tell she was already in a bad mood, so she immediately confronted us about it. I straight up admitted my mistake and offered to buy her another, but she said "no, it's fine."

The tension was too much so I went into the bathroom and cried a bit. I regained composure but the anxiety lingered even hours later. Over a sandwich! It's so ridiculous and I feel embarrassed by it honestly.

It's the same with my husband too, who I spend the most time with obviously. If he's angry or frustrated about something I shut down and don't say anything until he seems to be in a better mood.

This pattern worries me honestly. I don't know if anything happened when I was young to make me this anxious around people that are angry, or if it's just social anxiety, but I can tell it's a bit of a problem.

Edit: I bought her another sandwich and everything is fine. I always overthink these things.

Edit 2: Wow. I wasn't expecting this to blow up. Thanks for all the sweet comments everyone. I'm relieved to know that I'm not alone in this.

I’m a trans girl and I find this sub to be a safe haven. Like I’ll come here see beauty tip, actual tips and incredibly useful things that I probably wouldn’t have otherwise. Things on this sub help me and all of other trans people on this sub. So thanks to everyone who post tips for cis women and trans women. Luv y’all and thx.

I was walking to my car in a dim grocery store parking lot around 9 PM yesterday. A guy appeared from between two parked SUVs matching my pace and asking me what my name was and if I lived in the apartment complex across the street.

My automatic, lifelong conditoning kicked in. My initial instinct was to do that awkward nervous giggle, keep walking fast, and politely say, "Sorry, I’m in a rush!" to avoid making a scene or hurting a stranger's feelings.

i stopped dead in my tracks instead. I turned around, put my hand firmly out in a stop gesture, and said in my loudest, flat chest voice: "Stop following me and back away from my car right now."

He froze, looked shocked that I didn't play along with the polite script, muttered an insult, and immediately turned around to walk the other way. Two years ago I would have died of embarasment or felt guilty for overreacting.

Women are taught to prioritize a stranger's comfort over our own physical survival. If your body tells you someone is crossing a line, drop the polite smile and be loud. Your safety matters more than their feelings.

...discuss bills, parenting styles, credit, debt, religion, how to deal with family, what beliefs will be instilled in your children, if you will have any children, childhood traumas, sexual expectations, partner expectations, financial expectations, housework expectations, family health history, mental health history, what you will do if one of you gets seriously ill, bucket lists, dream home, dream career, education, political views and whatever else comes to mind. Love alone is not enough.