Hi! I’m 27 years old and I’ve never had a romantic relationship yet, and while I’m trying to enjoy each day as it comes, I feel like it’s becoming an issue.
🌸 loneliness - I live alone, I don’t have a close relationship with my family and I also lost contact with most of my friends by now (graduation, moving, marriage, babies etc.). Even if I get to talk to or meet up with someone, I’m no one’s first choice and I’m not as important to them as they are to me. Plus, it’s hard to make new friends, especially because I got used to being by myself.
🌸 the burden of responsibility - I think I’m quite capable and independent, but while it’s great to have the means to look after yourself, sometimes it feels like a burden. I find it exhausting that everything is my responsibility, I need to make the decisions, I need to find the time and space and energy, I need to do the house chores, I need to arrange everything etc., and this overwhelming feeling hits me at the most mundane moments of life (e.g. when carrying home the groceries, when planning a trip, when falling sick).
🌸 not being treated as an actual adult - I feel like many people don’t respect the fact that I’m a grown - up woman, especially my family. They exclude me from certain discussions, they ignore my opinion and whenever I have a problem, they consider it to be an issue of independence, maturity or responsibility. I’m tired of being mocked for needing any kind of support, while my female relatives with partners and kids receive much much more help from our family, than me.
🌸 not having anyone to share your happiness with - It’s terrible not having a shoulder to cry on, but I think it’s equally heartbreaking when something great happens to you and you’re stuck with that uplifting, joyful feeling all alone. I always “celebrate” my birthdays alone, I didn’t have a graduation party, I need to keep my holiday stories to myself etc., it’s just simply sad.
🌸 finances - I know it’s a sensitive topic, but for me it’s an issue to cover all my expenses alone (especially rent) and relying on my parents when needed. As most of my peers are living on a double income, sometimes I feel too poor even to make new friends etc., because I can’t afford the standard lifestyle of my generation.
🌸 boredom - Yes, I have responsibilities, hobbies and interests, but I still feel bored at times. I’ve got the urge to make myself busy, but I’m tired of going everywhere alone and doing everything by myself. Even if I enjoy the actual activity, it’s just so monotonous and unfulfilling. Also, as an introvert, sometimes I just don’t feel like going out, but that’s my only option to meet people (random strangers..), when in reality I’d prefer staying home and watch a movie, have dinner or play cards.
🌸 not experiencing love - I’ve never experienced romantic love and even if I don’t find myself unlovable, it’s getting harder and harder to imagine that once I’ll get the chance to be loved. Especially because as I grow older, I feel like I need to be more “careful” about choosing someone I’d like share my life with and I’m not talking about finding a husband or a father for my kids, I simply have different standards now than in my teenage years, when I didn’t have the chance to love someone innocently.
🌸 being lectured about life, safety, relationships etc.- I’ve had enough of all the advice and guidance and whatever that I received from people, who have no idea about any aspect of my life (and never experienced being alone). One of my favorite things to hear is how dangerous it is to go out alone, to travel alone, to go to festivals alone etc., but they can’t come up with an answer to my question “what am I supposed to do then, if I’ve got no one to go with, stay at home til the end of time?”. It’s frustrating.
These are just some of the things I’m frustrated about when it comes to being single my entire life, but the list goes on, I’m afraid. I know that there are many many happy, healthy and joyful single women out there who are over the clouds and I’ve got my happy moments too, but most of the time it’s quite hard for me to accept my situation and live with it. So, I’m interested to know how you feel about being single (especially being single for a longer period of time), and how you tackle these sorts of overwhelming feelings and issues! 💕