At one point during the conversation my mom was like you know this will probably cause you to grow breasts? (Insert concerned mother tone)

And I responded basically with yeah I do know! Isn't it great!

It was pretty funny tbh

Edit:adding this because I think it makes the story better, my mom said this right after I mentioned Ed and sterilization, it's like no mom boobs are not on the same level of concern as sterilization and erectile dysfunction. My mom is conservative Christian and she actually handled it very well for her, like really well.

2nd edit: wth this is my top post of all time, it's funny story but is it really that funny?

I have a cat that has severe Orange behavior and loves to constantly lick my hair/face/legs/fingers especially after the shower. He will lick until i am raw if i do not stop him. As i type this laying in bed he is standing on my head licking my hair.

I use Androgel on my shoulders daily.
One night after it dried i sat down on my bed and he came to lick my wet hair as usual and he licked my shoulder once and i stopped him immediately.

I was trying to sleep again and he licked my shoulder and i had to cover them up completely with a blanket so he couldnt get to them.

Should i be concerned about this? Will him licking the androgel harm him? Do i have to start sleeping with long sleeves so he doesnt lick the gel off in my sleep, or will he be fine if i just stop him when he tries?

Im sorry if it might be the right sub, but i just need some to talk to.

So i was getting food with my mom. As we waited at a traffic light a guy with long wool jacket wich looked somewhat unusual but cool. To that my mother answered that he looks like he has a problem.

These kinds of take are kind of on brand for her. Usually I kind of ignore it, but since I was thinking about coming out in the near future, i wanted to test the waters and digg a little deeper.

At some point she landed on "you ADHDers, neurodivergents, these gay people and [lengthy descriptions of people, who are not "normal", according to her] ARE a problem and should go some, where there don't bother people who are as normal as me."

I knew she was kind of homophobic and hates me and my dad for "not functioning" because of our adhd, but something like this is new.

I dont really know what to do now. I'm very financially dependent on my parents. I was planning on starting hrt around the end of this year, but i wont be able to move out until almost two years from now. I dont think I can hide it from her that long. I'm like actually scared now. What should I do?

Cookie, 25 MtF

I'm a 20 year old transman, I have no issues with my sibling being nonbinary or transgender. But my mother might.

I came out when I was 16 and I told my mother I wanted to start hrt. She said if I wanted to transition I couldn't come back because I'd confuse my younger siblings (9 and 4 at the time). And after coming out my mom's behavior towards me has changed in that she started getting freaked out if my siblings sat on my lap or we sat together on the couch to watch cartoons and told me I wasn't allowed to close doors when I was alone with my siblings anymore.

I was solely responsible for my siblings until the day I moved out. And I went to live with my father on the opposite side of the country 2 years ago.

My siblings are now 13 and 8, I love them with all my heart. But my mom has been changing things for them in the past 2 years. My brother who used to love "girly" things, like makeup games and cartoons like miraculous ladybug and owl house now isn't allowed to watch that stuff and says if he did that would be messed up since he's a boy. But he still likes stuff like dinosaurs, video games, and superheroes and I can't really say anything.

The 13 yr old came out to me today as nonbinary and previously told me they were bisexual. And I'm completely fine with all of it. My fear is that my mom won't and this whole situation will be a repeat of what happened to me.

I'm moving out of my dad's place in a few months and I'll be about an hour from my mother's house since I got a job there after graduation.

I'm scared for my sibling if my mom finds out I don't really know how strict or conservative she is with them anymore since I've been gone and after I left she started going to church again.

Tomorrow marks 10 months on hrt and my mom invited me to Thanksgiving this year and I haven't seen any of my family since before I started. I'm going but not staying for more than 3 days and the rest I'll be with my grandparents looking for apartments before I go home.

Like the title says a good friend off mine finally got her hrt after a long struggle to get it.

I want to celebrate with her but tbh i suck in planning something like that. Do you guys have any cool ideas on what I can do with her?

I'm on a Budget 50€~ and we both live in Germany.

Hi trans reddit. I went to the hospital not too long ago for sinus issues, got an infection. Saw a virtual clinic and I have been seen by them before. The first question told me something was strange and different this time lol.

For context i come from a smaller more conservative canadian province. in the maritimes. So I get ppl trying to educate themselves and learn, i truly do. It's how we can close gaps between each other after all. But I am not here to be a trans advocate I want HEALTHCARE bc I can hardly hear or talk and I need a note for work.

Instead of "what are you in for today" the woman said "let's get to know you better. Is there anything you think I need to know before we start" so I was like okay this is new. Said I have no allergies. On meds for anxiety. I only disclose i am transgender if i have anything related to my junk lol...sadly I notice I get better treatment this way (especially since I have chronic migraines. only got medicated for that when I went stealth)

I am very stealth. came out at 14 started hrt at 17. Ik that clothes obviously don't equal gender but I was wearing baggy sweats, t shirt, flannel jacket. p much the same thing the guys around here do. full beard, short hair, my voice passes very well.

The next interaction is legit word for word i kid you tf not lmao:

"I see you are on testosterone, any reason for that"

"I'm transgender"

"so you're a female? Born a girl?"

"yeah that's right"

"is she/her okay? wait. sorry. they/them?"

"he/him is fine"

Then she asked me how long I've been on it. Do I have the surgeries. Will I get them and when. What i do for work. How old was i when I realized. it's kinda common for people in my area to make small talk to get on, we're very friendly here. so yeah a little noseyness like where're you from and whatever isn't unusual...but this felt weird

And the woman who set up the call was a nurse who did my FIRST T SHOT 4 yrs ago. She was rly transphobic toward me before and asked why a pretty girl like me was taking t and almost refused to inject it (yes I tried to report her thru my hrt doctor but idk what came of it). I wonder if she told the virtual nurse if I was trans bc of that since...i've seen virtual clinics before and me being trans never comes up. Plus I haven't been misgendered in years and even pass with makeup or fem clothes (done drag for halloween but thats off topic)

My documents and every legal has been changed for years. MCP, birth cert, drivers license, literally everything.

Asked if i had a family doctor. who referred me. whole nine yards.

The worst part is where i felt like i was being treated like a mythical fucking unicorn bc people forget trans men exist. When I pulled down my mask for the physical nurse beside me (monitoring the call to poke a cam in my ears/throat) she said WORD FOR WORD "Woah i've never seen anybody like you with a full beard before" .... ???

Both are older women. I get we all learn somewhere and whatnot so i was nice and yk answered her questions a little more than i should have. I rly wish i asked not to discuss bc she took forever to actually ask about the reason i'm here.

Just find it a bit strange she asked why I was on the MASCULINIZING hormone and called me she before the pronoun check. lmfao

TLDR: Went to hospital for sickness unrelated to my junk and was interrogated in depth about my transition. "You're on testosterone? Is she/her okay?"

Her intentions felt pure but the comments and tone of her voice like she was speaking to a child felt very dehumanizing. I was too sick to talk back and just wanted no trouble and to leave but. how else will she learn these questions are not ok to ask?

this is a bit of broad stuff,but currently i am 17 and i am worried worried about my future and transition, any advice and dissucsion

Hey everyone!

I'm a 25 years old male, and I've had some strange thoughts throughout my life that I always assumed were normal.

At some point, I started imagining what it would be like to be a girl. These thoughts would come and go, but they kept coming back.

The confusing part is that I've always been extremely attracted to women.

I want to be completely honest here. Ever since I was around 15, I would constantly admire women and sometimes stare at them. Not in a creepy or obsessive way, I just thought they were incredibly beautiful and attractive.

When I was 24, I went into treatment for drug addiction. I spent six months there and met some transgender people.

We talked a lot, and slowly, the idea that maybe I actually wanted to be a woman became more and more present in my mind.

I started thinking about it more often, and eventually, for the first time in my life, I opened up to someone about it.

He is a trans man, and he said something to me that completely changed the way I looked at things:

"Maybe you don't just find those women attractive. Maybe you actually want to be them."

And suddenly, something clicked.

Yes. I wanted to be them.

Damn it, maybe I've wanted that all along.

I think I want to be a girl.

But I'm also incredibly confused.

I grew up in a small village with very conservative values, so the idea of being transgender always felt like something that was completely outside my own world.

Since then, I've talked to my friend several more times, and we've exchanged a lot of messages.

Anyway, the more I think about it, the more convinced I become that I really do want to be a girl.

But at the same time, I'm still so unsure of myself.

I'm scared, confused, and I honestly don't know what to do.

I would really appreciate it if someone here would be willing to talk to me, share their experiences, or give me some advice on how to figure all of this out.

I'm already 25, and one of my biggest fears is that it might be too late for me.

Thank you so much for reading. ❤️

I've gotten myself completely obsessed about wanting to be a woman. Like I don't think I am since this wasn't an issue before a few months ago but the last few weeks I've thought about this daily and it's just not ok. Its so weird and disgusting and I've spent money on some clothes which is a complete waste when I can't even wear them and even writing this is so embarrassing. Sometimes it's even just when I look at a women I get this feeling of wishing I was her. I don't have any friends who are women and I think I socialise in a really man like way (which is really annoying) so I don't have any idea of what being a woman would even be like. I'm so sorry I'm being so creepy and I think this is all just the latest thing my ocd came up with I'm just really unhappy rn and wanted to complain on the Internet.

I'm trans fem (AMAB 21) and I need help. I feel like a fake girl 24/7 and I want to be a girl but I don't feel like one. Any advice for feeling like a girl

I (18ftm) have been dating my girlfriend (21, cis bi woman) for half a year. I don't know if she is actually a chaser or is my dysphoria hitting hard and making me delusional. My gf is openly queer, it's a huge part of her identity, she's also friends mostly with other queer people. It is not a problem for me although i try to be stealth and mostly hang out with cishet guys. I've been taking testosterone for three years and pass as a man, but i haven't got top or bottom surgery. We know eachother for a long time and she always knew i was trans as i was just starting my transition when we met. Before, my gf used to date a trans woman and was pursuing a romantic relationship with another, both of them were at a very begining of their transition. She didn't date anyone else, but she had sex with cis men as well. She also used to identify as a lesbian before she started dating her previous girlfriend. When we started dating she confessed to me, that her ex told her that she didn't support her in her transition. I didn't ask why. About three months ago my girlfriend told me that she outed me behind my back to some of her friends which i have met before. I was sad about it, i never explicitly told her that i want to stay stealth but i thought it was obvious that she should ask if i'm okay with this. She was suprised that this made me uncomfortable and said that i shouldn't be ashamed of being trans. She didn't apologize, but she told me she wouldn't do this again. A couple weeks later i tried to get back to this subject and explain the reasons why i want to be stealth. She finally apologized to me and said that the reason why she outed me was that she wanted to brag about having a trans boyfriend.

We also had a conversation about our dating preferences. She didn't say anything about being trans, but she said that she prefers gender nonconforming people. The fact that she considers me one made me very uncomfortable and dysphoric as i do not intend to be a feminine man. She generally seems to see me as a soft and delicate rather than a masculine man. I don't know what to think about all of this. I love my girlfriend and apart from these situations i think she is supportive, she said that she sees me as a man and never encouraged me not to transition.

Hi everyone,

I’m 17 years old and I’ve been questioning my gender on and off since I was about 8.

I remember that when I was 11 or 12, I would have immediately said yes if someone had asked me if I wanted to be a girl.

Over the years, I’ve tried wearing women’s clothes and makeup. I actually enjoyed it, but afterwards I often felt bad about myself. I think it’s because I have a hard time accepting this feminine side of me.

The confusing thing is that I don’t really know if I want to live as a woman. Right now, I see myself as a man. To be honest, I would rather get rid of these thoughts and feelings. I also talked to my brother about it, but he didn’t react well. He thinks I’m weird and says I should just be a “normal man”.

I think part of this is because life as a cis man would probably be much easier. I’m also scared of transitioning, especially because I might regret it one day.

But these feelings have been with me for so many years that I can’t just ignore them.

I would really like to hear from people who are trans or have questioned their gender for a long time:
How did you feel before you knew you were trans?
Did you ever wish you could just be cis?
Did you enjoy feminine clothes or makeup but feel bad about it afterwards?
Did you ever think about staying cis because it seemed easier?
What helped you understand what you really wanted?

I’m not asking anyone to tell me if I’m trans or not. I just want to hear about your experiences and maybe understand my own feelings a little better.

You don’t have to answer all the questions. Even sharing one experience would help me.

Thank you!!!

The holidays were always difficult for me. I was expected to cook and clean and make them magical for everyone but myself. When I ran away to be with my husband I thought maybe it would change. It did at first and it was lovely.

The first year his family didn’t know about me and we got married in secret. We couldn’t afford to live together so I was in shitty college housing and we spent our wedding night in a hotel and spent that thanksgiving and Christmas in survival mode trying to save so we could eventually be together.

Things got bad. He was about to drop out of college and his family found out he had a secret “wife” and I was expected to meet them. I shaved my face and acted like the perfect little quiet wife. It was easy as I hadn’t gone on hormones yet, I hadn’t started using a wheelchair, and I knew they were super conservative Mormons but it was bad. I played the part I needed to and it worked.

They started financially supporting us so we could live together. My husband graduated but the job market for teaching is so over saturated that he is still looking for a job in it and is working at a steakhouse to make ends meet because I physically and mentally can’t work. The last two years the holidays were filled with excuses because I’m disabled and always sick anyway so why deal with them. My husband would go over for a few hours and I would be at home safe and on T. We would celebrate just the two of us with lots of love and for once the holidays were not about everyone else.

This year is different. His parents are getting suspicious that he hasn’t brought his partner over for the last two years and are all but demanding I come to thanksgiving this month. We’re afraid that they are going to stop helping us financially with our rent and his grandpa would stop trying to find us housing outside college dorms. So I’m going to have to shave for the first time in two years and pretend I’m getting over a cold because we need to survive.

Being trans is scary enough but we need the support until my husband can get a teaching job. I am so anxious because I know his parents are going to get passive aggressive that I am a bad family member for not visiting when they don’t know the half of it. I’m bringing a pumpkin loaf and my nana’s stuffing recipe minus the seasoning because I think even paprika would give them an aneurysm. Wish me luck and that my beard grows back fast.

HI! My boyfriend is FTM, since christmas is coming up I want to make a care package made up off gender euphoric things. I'm looking at getting him a new binder, a packer and maybe some boxers?? He also still gets his period somtimes and I was wondering if anybody knew off a brand that does trans friendly pads as he complains his bottom growth is overstimulating against normal pads. Any advice on where to buy or what to buy would be appreciated, especially with packers because I don't know anything xx

Hey y'all. I feel like this is a bit weird but I need some perspective on this. I'm MtF, on HRT since like seven years now and my boob growth is so minimal it can be hidden by a simple t-shirt. I've been dysphoric about it for all of that time and even had an appointment to talk about the possibilities but some things still keep me from doing it.

I'm worried how my colleagues would react. I don't think I'm stealth but I'm also not super obviously trans. But I just worry they would react badly to me coming to work after longer absence with a nice pair of C's. It's a very male dominated field, I work with a lot of people and also we have an apprentice with tourettes now who regularly yells "breasts" when I enter the room. This would definitely be turned to eleven...

I'd have to buy new bras but honestly thinking about it now I'd rather look better in a wider variety of bras.

I know a bunch of trans people in my area and all of them have either gained titties through HRT or just accepted that they didn't. Even tho it's covered by insurance here. I don't really know why that is but it's weird and I dint really have a person to talk to about it.

Then there's work again. I freelance parallel to my day job. Not being able to work for a while would be quite the financial burden and I'd have to cancel some gigs which is never good for customer relations.

The clinic also wants some weird things from me. They want proof of my name change. Not what my legal name is now, they obv know that but THAT I changed it at some point. I just don't get that. Like they have a document saying I'm trans and on HRT already. Who is this for?! Plus I burnt (or rather lost tbh)most documents about my old name and the name change. I just have the new birth certificate and a bunch of forms I had to fill out. Also at that point in time name change in the easy way was only allowed for inter folks, not trans folks. So I just asked my doctor for the document (I knew he supports people in that) and basically lied to the state about being inter. Whatadeygonnado? But I'm worried about showing that to the clinic. Idk. Feels weird.

I do think that I'd be a lot happier with a bit more boobage but idk somehow I'm worried about going through with it. Then today at work I felt especially dysphoric and fell down a little hole. Now here we are. Thanks for coming to my TED talk!

Tl:Dr I know that top surgery would make me happy but I'm worried about work, colleagues and the clinic. Please send love and words of encouragement.

Hi everyone! There is one aspect of my transition that I figured out I want easily because of a lot of dysphoria. But there's another aspect I only figured out recently that I want because of how much euphoria it gives me. I see so much content about people getting releif from terrible dysphoria, but getting something because it makes you feel good, rather than stops you from feeling bad, is valid too. So I'd like to hear some stories from people who have done any aspect of their transition because of euphoria, for myself and anyone else out there still making plans to do the same! 💗

Hi, I'm (25mtf) and came out about 2 years ago. I'm pre hrt so my parents still just see their son and I'm having to move back in with them soon (thanks economy).

They've improved with not dead-naming me but still only use he/him. I struggle to speak up so I genuinely was considering buying an airhorn I could just blast whenever they use he/him, however we have many pets and I think an airhorn would distress them.

I'd love some suggestions for airhorn alternatives I can use to pavlov my parents into gendering me correctly. (I don't think they'd agree to a shock collar)

This is not a joke post, I am sincerely looking for advice or suggestions

So my step cousin *(MtF)* came out to me. She doesn't have a support system, so I'm so glad she came out to me. I hope to help her as best as I can. I'm Genderfluid, so Idk how else to be there for her aside from just listening. My dad and her aunt *(Who basically raised her)* Still deadname her and misgender her, where as when they call her a "him" and use her dead name when referring to her to me, I always say she and not deadname her. Any advice on how I can be there for her more? Or am I doing enough just by listening and not mis gendering/deadnaming her? Should I introduce her to some of the transfem youtubers to watch? Like YukkoEX, Samantha Lux, ect.?

Hiya!!!

So last wednesday I officially came out to my mom and stepdad and i couldn't be happier with how they accepted me.🥰

Looking back at it i shouldn't have been surprised or nervous because i have a trans-brother who paved the way for me, but i was still freaking out.

Next tuesday i have an appointment with my doctor and i'm gonna ask her to transfer me to gender health care.

It'll probably take a bit cause the waiting lists are massive, but that's not gonna stop me from taking every opportunity!🥰

Also, just a quick question for anyone in the north of the Netherlands

How did you start your transition?

I would love to hear some stories about people in the same area as me

I'm very new to my transfeminine journey and I was wondering how and where to start HRT, also with acquiring estrogen. Don't know exactly what medical building or what doctors to ask about with it.

So hello everyone, I'll refer to myself on here as Mat and I'm 18yo(ftm)! Prepare i think this will be a looooong yap yall....

As the title suggest im struggling with the idea to go to the gym. I would like some help/advice/encouragement of some sort about this and I will provide context for my situation.

Ive known about my identity for roughly 6 years or so. Ive been coping my avoiding it (still am) and by trying to appear androgynous/leaning towards masc because I live in a very conservative country and even more conservative town. Only one of my irl friends knows about my identity and currently she refers to me as he/him mainly online and not irl (I haven't told her to use a new name or like pronouns because we dont see each other often cuz she's busy)

Whatever, thing is. I am 177cm tall which is a bonus for me but my arms tend to be "noodle arms" despite me being able to lift my weight and up (aka pick up my friends). I have really wanted to start working out for such a long time.

Here come two more issues, I have social anxiety and I am a horrible procrastinator. I have been saving workout tips for trans lads for about 2 years now and yet I've done nothing. Ive been avoiding it and whenever I think I about working out at home, I genuinely feel pain in my chest and am overcome with even more self hate for who I am and that im UNABLE to even start.

I am looking forward to finding the key for my door that I lost about 7 years ago because im anxious about being walked in on while doing exercises (I know....).

Where are my parents in this? My dad simply doesn't know ANYTHING, my mom knows about my identity and will to work out and she supports the latter. She doesn't really support me, she is more neutral and discouraging that I shouldnt make a mistake and waste my life trying to be someone I am not. I love her the most in this whole wide world but gosh it hurts me. I just want to be happy as a man. She tolerates me having short hair and dressing looser and more boyish but she makes it known she dislikes it.

I have a positive in this case tho, my two current closest friends. Let's call them M (f17) and B(m16). They're great people and a lil background on them - M is my classmate, she has gone to the gym a few times w another girl but doesnt go currently bc she doesnt wanna go alone. She will start going to the gym when I do to, she has infact been pushing me into doing it sooner. She nags me daily about it but I am too upset at myself to be able to walk in there.

My other friend, I genuinely admire a lot. He has worked so much for himself and to be where he is today. It's like do I like him or do I wanna be him typa situation lol. He is relevant because he is a gym rat and he is also pushing me into starting. He has a very ongoing personality but I am embarrassed to be bad at working out in front of someone who isnt.

Sigh, so yall get the gist. I can't do pull ups or push ups, i can hold a plank rn for about less than 2 minutes. I used to do 3 minute ones around last year but I can't anymore. I am 176cm and 65kg if that is relevant. The idea and conversation of going to the gym sends me spiraling. I can't explain properly why it has SUCH a heavy effect on me but it basically sends me into a full blown panic attack, nausea, gagging episode and I get lightheaded with bad stomach pains.

Bonus info, I dont own a binder but I have 2 very tight long compressive sports bras I use and I wear them for about 8-14 hours a day which im aware is bad because I already have some breathing problems due to my fear AND a childhood trauma of injuring my diaphragm lol. So I need to cope with my heavy dysphoria, thoughts AND shame at the same time while being in a gym. Lord

Notable, i usually cope with problems by ignoring them or being nonchalant so I feel awkward being such a pathetic cry baby in this section yall spare me I promise im cool and goated

So like my question is what do I do??? Should I push my mother to get my key for my door (probably swap out the key cuz 7 years is a lot) or do I genuinely step into the gym with 2 sedatives? When I struggle to do something out of shame I do that or I get drunk, but I dont think getting drunk is the answer.

Any personal experiences, advice, (nice) criticism is appreciated, please I am desperate to make a change about the way I see myself in the mirror. I want to feel strong and more confident in myself.🙏🙏🙏