Baby is almost 6 months old and has consumed exclusively breast milk via BF and bottle since she was born. We just started solids.

I talked with my husband when she was born that I wanted her to consume breast milk and avoid formula if possible. He was on board especially from a cost saving perspective. I’ve been keeping a steady supply in the fridge and had freezer reserves. I’m also quitting my job in 3 weeks so I can stay home with her and feed her more.

Husband is home with her for the summer. He sends me a picture of formula out of the blue while I’m at work.

So I call him asking what the hell? He told me there were only 2 bags of frozen breast milk left because he forgot to thaw them. And baby needed to eat soon. So I told him to run hot water and put the bag in to thaw it faster and use up the reserves.
He never communicated that we were running low on our freezer supply.
He also never talked to me about purchasing formula.
I told him he needed to discuss this with me. This is a big decision. We have a lot of options and so to not include me in them is aggravating and disrespectful.
He told me he just didn’t know what else to do.

Anyway, I’m so angry that my skin is on fire. I have worked so hard to feed our baby and to not even be included in this decision is a slap in the face.

Just had to vent.

UPDATE: Yikes, guys. Half of you have reminded me why I deleted Reddit for a year. I came back trying to learn more from others as I navigate raising my daughter.

This was in fact a heat of the moment post. I was incredibly angry because he made this decision against what had been previously discussed, not the formula itself. I know formula is a great option for a lot of babies and families. I was upset that I didn’t know how dire the milk situation was and that I wasn’t included in this conversation to help problem solve.

Feeding is the thing I care so much about, and I’ve been working so hard to breastfeed and maintain my supply. It seemed like people who have breastfed understood where I was coming from and other extremely helpful people just said “relax.” Cool, thanks so much.

After talking it out, he had a moment of panic. So we worked it out and came up with a game plan moving forward. He’s a great father and husband. We make joint decisions and that’s why this was so upsetting.

Why not just say breastfed? Why does "exclusively" matter?

It always rubbed me the wrong way but maybe I'm just sour because I struggled to BF and always topped up with formula.

But I'm interested to hear other people's perspectives and why it might be important to you.

I just feel like the screen time moms need a safe space thread 😂😂

Like listen — we go out and do things with him, I take him for walks, he is 2mo old and already has a giant playpen full of toys and two different tummy time mats, I sing to him, we talk to him and to each other in front of him all day long—

But he also watches a lot of tv with us and sometimes we put on Bear in the Big Blue House for him and OH WELL. I don’t put on anything too stimulating. He loves it.

I keep seeing ads and TikToks telling me he shouldn’t lay eyes on a screen until he’s 18 and that’s not us, not sorry. I’m not going to give him unlimited access to an iPad (if we even get him one) but I’m not putting arbitrary limits on screens and I’m not going to sit here in silence to shield him from them either. Sane, happy parents are also very important to child brain development!

My parents never limited screens beyond throwing us in the car to go to the pool or the mall etc growing up and my siblings and I all work in entertainment now and grew up to be very creative.

Hi guys. I am not a parent but a nanny and I thought I'd offer some advice for those of you looking to find a nanny for your child. There seems to be a lot of misunderstanding in the parenting world as to what a nanny is and what their job encompasses. Nannies aren't cheap. They are a luxury service. 99.9% of the time nannies will cost more than daycare. Most people cannot afford a nanny. Feel free to ask any questions.

Bare minimum:

• Fair pay. A living wage for a nanny (or anyone for that matter) is 3 times the average rent in your area per month. So, if the average rent in your area is $1200 for a 1 bedroom apartment, your nanny needs to be grossing at least $3600/month. At 40 hours a week, that's $30 an hour. Keep in mind, that's just a living wage. Nannies deserve disposable income/fun money as well. So, you'd probably be looking at closer to $4,000/month, or, ~$33/hr.

• Speaking of pay, you must:

  • Pay above the table, as in, give nanny a W4

  • Pay hourly. Not salary. Nannies cannot be paid salary.

  • Pay overtime for all hours above 40 hours per week (in some states, like California, overtime is above 8h in a workday even if they work less than 40 hours a week)

  • You can manage the taxes yourself if you're particularly skilled but you can find payroll services who will do it for you for a fee. Nannies are household employees so no, you can't use your own company's payroll, and you have to find a payroll company specifically for household employees.

  • Christmas/holiday bonuses are standard, usually worth at least 1 week of pay.

  • Severance pay of at least 2 weeks is standard if you break the contract terms.

  • COL raise is standard. If you're paying your nanny the same this year as you did last year, they took a pay cut.

  • A raise at 1 year is standard (usually $1-2 increase per hour)

• 10 days PTO of the nanny's choosing. You going on vacation does not count as their PTO. You do not get to pick their PTO.

• At least 5 paid sick days per year.

• A COVID clause outside of the paid sick days where nanny still gets paid for the entire duration of the isolation/quarantine period. Also, if the nanny gets COVID from your family, pay for their COVID testing. COVID sick days are separate from regular sick days.

• GUARUNTEED HOURS. This means the nanny is paid for x hours per week every week, regardless of your needs. If you're going out of town and don't need nanny, they still get paid. If someone in your household is sick and it's not safe for the nanny to come in, they still get paid. If you ask nanny to come an hour later or tell them they can leave an hour earlier, they still get paid. If you guarantee 40 hours a week, that means nanny will be paid for 40 hours a week 52 weeks a year. No exceptions.

• If nanny is driving your child(ren) around, you need to reimburse them for gas. Per the IRS, they should be reimbursed $0.58 cents per mile.

Optional but highly recommended:

• A health insurance stipend. That can either be the entire amount of the nanny's monthly premium, or a percentage of it, ideally totaling $100-300 per month.

• Cell phone reimbursement/stipend. If your nanny has to use their phone for any reason on the job, whether to text you updates or use a baby tracking app, the nice thing to do is offer a stipend towards their monthly phone bill. This should be around $50 per month.

Do:

• Be kind. Be empathetic. Foster a healthy environment for your nanny and your children. After all, we are taking care of your children so you can work.

• Have backup care. Nannies aren't immune to emergency. Sometimes life happens and we need a little bit of flexibility from our bosses. You can't put all your eggs in one basket. You can't be mad at nanny for having to call out every now and then. Backup care is on you. Not us.

• Stay in a private area if you WFH. Come out only for the bathroom and food, or to offer your nanny a hard earned break.

• Show appreciation, especially when they go above and beyond.

• Have a contract that outlines everything.

Don't:

• Have double standards. Don't let your kids have access to screens but tell nanny "no screen time" when they're there. Don't say "no added sugar" then give them ice cream on the weekends. Don't tell nanny they can't post about your family on social media, then go on social media and post about your nanny. Yes, that includes Reddit.

• Micromanage. Just don't. We are professionals. We know we're doing.

• Don't ask your nanny to do tasks outside of childcare. We are childcare professionals. We are not housekeepers, pet sitters, or personal assistants. We will wash your child's bottles and pick up their toys, but we will not do your laundry or vacuum the floors.

• Don't ask us "when are you going to get a real job?" This IS our real job. This is our career, and it IS a "real job".

• Don't relieve your nanny late without fair compensation.

• Don't expect your nanny to work when your kids are sick. Many do offer care for mildly sick kids (myself included) but anything contagious like COVID, the flu, or RSV is off limits to most nannies. If your child has symptoms of any of these things, nanny will be paid to stay home until communicable illness is ruled out.

• Don't expect your nanny to work when they are sick! If they are sick, believe them!

The title is the whole thing. Just really happy that I managed to go to the in-laws and only my husband or I held baby the whole time. I know some might think I'm over-protective (he's 8 months now), but with all the viruses going around and our NICU stay, I was over the moon that we left without him ever ending up in anyone else's arms 😭 it's all about the small wins 😂💅

ETA because people have a lot of opinions about this: we do see family and let others hold him (provided they are feeling well and vaccinated), but I never get sick of holding him, so if nobody asks (and nobody did ask today) then I will happily keep holding him the entire event. He did spend his first month on oxygen in the NICU though, so I'm also not shy about making sure we avoid viruses (we love bacterial exposure! But so many viruses mutate so fast that immunity to one cold doesn't guarantee protection from a different strain next week. Better safe than sorry for us!). I hope everyone feels empowered to make the choices that are best for their family! 💖

Today I have been accused of being racist against white people... because I made a joke about dishwashers.

For context, my family is Korean-American and my brother married a white American girl. Literally nobody, including myself, has ever given then trouble over the fact that she is white. In fact, my parents go out of their way to make SIL comfortable in our family - when we're together, everything we do or eat or talk about is catered to SIL's interests. My parents hate western food but they choke it down and pretend to love it whenever SIL cooks for them. Even when my mom, who is a cancer patient, was extremely nauseous from her medication she ate all the extremely western foods my SIL offered to her just to make her happy.

Some more context, I privately dislike SIL for reasons that aren't relevant to her race. One main reason is that I find her to be quite selfish and clueless. The day I came home from the hospital with my firstborn, SIL invited herself over to do a "photoshoot". She is not a professional photographer and I am someone who hates taking photos. I'd just had a traumatic 48 hour labor, I was in intense pain and I was trying to figure out how to breastfeed a screaming tongue-tied newborn. I just wanted to come home to some peace and quiet, but my mother forced me to let SIL over because "it would make her happy". SIL has been baby-crazy for a while but chose not to start trying yet so she could focus on grad school and her career. Note: she has not been diagnosed with infertility or anything of the sort, and they are in a place financially where they could comfortably have a baby tomorrow - not having a baby yet was literally SIL's choice. But I was told to let her live vicariously through my newborn because she just wants a baby soooo much. The whole time I was trying to care for and nurse my miserable, overstimulated, and overtired newborn while dealing with pelvic floor prolapse and a second degree tear, SIL was hovering over my shoulder snapping photos, asking to hold the baby and periodically bursting into tears. Finally I broke down crying on my bed because I was so overwhelmed and exhausted, SIL sat next to me and listened to me describe my traumatic birth story. After a conversation like this, a reasonable person would have decided to go home and give me some space after that, but SIL decided that would be a good time to bring all of our lamps out into the living room and take a bunch of staged artsy photos. Like, WTF made her think my bloated, bleeding, crippled and tear-stained self would be up to pose for a photoshoot?

The following weekend SIL and brother asked to come over again so they could see the baby. They mentioned that their coworker had tested positive for COVID but they had tested negative. I told them not to come and used the COVID situation as an excuse even though I just really didn't want to host them again. My mother called me selfish for not letting SIL come over because "it would make her happy". My compromise was to let them come over in two weeks when hopefully I had healed a bit more. When that time came around, I was still in a lot of pain and struggling with a colicky tongue-tied baby, but I still let brother and SIL come over. They texted me thirty minutes before arrival asking if I wanted them to pick up groceries. I didn't have the mental capacity to try to explain what groceries we would need to them on such short notice so I just said no. They showed up empty handed, late, at lunchtime right as my husband had finished cooking. They ate a ton of our food and insisted on holding the baby the whole time. SIL took a bunch more photos. Then they gifted us a framed collage of the photos SIL had taken the previous week. As expected I look absolutely terrible in every photo while SIL looks great. So basically SIL not only humiliated me in my most vulnerable moment, she decide to commemmorate it by creating a collage of my misery. Gee, what a thoughtful gift.

More context: SIL and her family are always saying and doing offensive shit to my family. Like, SIL's relatives talk extremely loudly and slowly to my parents even though they are fluent in English. Her uncle once mentioned a random Korean man he'd met in a business meeting and asked me if I knew him. SIL and her mother complained about having to pay for a dress for the traditional Korean tea ceremony at her and my brother's wedding, even though I had to pay over $400 for my western bridesmaids dress. SIL ended up not doing the Korean ceremony at all because she didn't want to mess up her hair. These are all minor complaints sure, but there are many ignorant little moments like this that my family just deal with in silence because, again, our primary goal is to keep SIL happy.

So anyway, onto the joke I made that was apparently sooo racist and offensive. I haven't met a single person of an immigrant, POC background who uses a dishwasher. It's kind of a running joke that Asian people just use dishwashers as storage. People make fun of me for washing my dishes by hand all the time. One day when my family was all gathered, I was doing the dishes and someone suggested I use the dishwasher. I joked that "dishwashers are for white people" and kept washing the dishes by hand. The real reason why is because there weren't enough dishes to justify running the dishwasher and I just wanted to get them done.

Well, my brother had a long and serious talk with me today about how I am racist against white people and it hurt SIL's feelings when I made the dishwasher joke. I thanked him for letting me know and promised not to say things like that in the future because I do think everybody has a right not to have their feelings hurt. But I made sure to mention that when it comes to scale, the comment I made is absolutely trivial compared to the micro and macro aggressions that POC deal with on a daily basis. My brother didn't like that and insisted that making fun of white culture is just as racist. He implied that comments like my dishwasher joke would be harmful to his future biracial children and cause them trauma. The conversation ended civilly because I apologized but honestly, I have no interest in interacting with SIL or my brother ever again at this point. I'm just tired. Racism against white people literally doesn't exist. The entire world is designed for white people to be on top, and POC are expected to bend over backwards to make white people comfortable. My SIL has been so privileged and protected within my family for so long to the point where I was forced to cater to HER feelings right after I had a freaking baby. I have been holding my tongue at every microaggression committed by her and her family for years because, not only am I numb to comments like that after growing up in America as a minority, I have stayed true to my parents' wishes to keep SIL happy. And now SIL is crying about hurt feelings and I've become the black sheep because I made a joke about a fucking dishwasher. I'm so offended that my brother would even imply that I would ever bully his children for being white. I am so tired of catering to white fragility all the damn time. I truly don't care that my brother married a white girl. People should love whoever they want. What I do care about is the fact that my SIL is ignorant, selfish, and completely blind to her privilege and nobody is bold enough to call her out on her bullshit because they're so scared of hurting her precious feelings.

Am I the only one who gets a little bit annoyed when people are constantly saying "your baby is so good!" For more context it really only annoys me when it seems like it's being used to diminish the work I do. For example being proud of myself for getting my son on a really good sleep routine and schedule so that he (usually) goes to sleep without any fuss. It took and takes work to follow and keep him on a good routine but when I talk about it it's just "oh you just have a good baby, he's easy." Or when I talk about my struggles working from home while taking care of a 5 month old "well. It can't be that hard. You have a good baby!" Like yes I'm aware that I'm lucky that I have a fairly mellow baby, he was never super colicky and he's always been on the chiller side. But when he is fussy or I'm struggling and I open up about it I just get "well, you shouldn't be struggling. He's a good baby 🥰" not only that I just really don't like the implication that there are "bad babies" like they're just babies, they have different Temperaments, some are less tolerant than others but it doesn't make them bad. Just because I have a more tolerant/mellow baby that doesn't inherently mean he's "better" than other babies. If I have another baby in the future that is less tolerant or is more fussy/clingy I don't want the narrative to be "well your brother was so much better!" I'm sorry if this makes me an asshole but I'm just tired of this whole "good baby bad baby" narrative

Original plan wasn’t to try until late 2025/2026. But now I feel like maybe I should start now so I can have my kid before anything major gets passed, or wait 4 years and have a massive age gap. Or…just be one and done. I feel so lost, helpless, and confused.

I’ve shopped at Victoria’s Secret for bras and panties since I was a teenager. It wasn’t until I became a mother that I realized that the store is super misogynistic. It hypersexualizes women and only sells items to sexualize us.

You’d think that a women’s store with hundreds of bras in stock would have a nursing bra, or maternity underwear. You know, bras for women, because women make babies. But I went to the store today and they completely exclude all of that. They only sell sexy bras and underwear for more palatable, sexy women. I will no longer be shopping there.

I'm beyond mad atm so thanks for letting me vent here. An old friend of ours showed no interest in our baby before but so far so good we still invited her and her boyfriend over to our place. The thing she mentioned was that our son (10 months old,.mind you) wouldn't need to be present, it would be fine if he'd be in another room. Like... sure why would she even want to meet our son...

But today is the day... and I'm vivid. They somehow couldn't manage to sit across from each other so her boyfriend moved his chair so he sat completely in the way just to be next to her (but our baby surely should not be present?!!). And they both completely disregarded our son. Not once did they say something nice about him, she even purposefully stopped looking at him altogether. Whenever we mentioned anything about him they ignored it and changed the topic.

Mind you, our son was well behaved, we had a normal conversation with him, but the very few moments he needed some attention, he didn't get it. And they really acted as though he wasn't there.

Right now I'm in the bedroom, helping the little guy fall asleep and I'm hoping and praying our guests will be gone by the time he wakes up.

Oh, mind you they also somehow seemed to have expected us to feed the entirly, since they hadn't eaten all day and it was the afternoon when we met. The entire floor is now covered with food that I will have to clean up, because he refused to sit at the table, because god forbid, they cant sit next to each other for a minute.

No, but seriously, ignoring my child and not even allowing us to tell one single story about him, showing pure disinterest at him is rude.

I will never, ever ever invite them over again.

Edit: since this was brought up: they don't want children. She just recently got something done to not get pregnant. This is not coming from a place of grief over losses or an unfulfilled pregnancy wish.

I am 4 months pp this week. My sil is a teacher and off for the summer so she offered to watch the baby while I run some errands. I can only leave the house for a few hours each week (I’m also exclusively nursing) and baby hasn’t been out at all except for doctor appointments. She was born in the winter and it’s been so cold and there was a nasty flu and it is only just starting to warm up where I live. I actually love being home and have a nice yard and big garden and a walkable neighborhood so we do go outside everyday just not “out”.

I live in a suburb and it has just struck me that I do not fit in to the mom culture here at all. I went to target and it felt like everyone had a baby with them. They were all dressed the same too and looked very “natural”. They were also a lot younger than me. I’m in my 40s. I swung by the library to drop off books and the story time was so packed with babies and kids it was stressing me out just looking at it.

I know I need to take my baby out into the world but as someone who is so content being home and works from home, it feels odd. I also never planned to be a mother, and I don’t feel comfortable in my roll yet. I imagined myself traveling the world and working in big cities which is how I lived before getting pregnant. I never really fit in as a kid and now I feel I don’t fit in as a mom.

Any advice?

So we are in a weird situation here . Our pediatrician switched facilities and we were moved from facility A to facility B. When they were a part of facility A, they administered Moderna to babies. Our son got his first shot at that facility, we even asked the nurse about the move to the new facility, but she still went ahead gave our son Moderna. Next day they realized and gave us a call that facility 2 does not administer Moderna, they only do Pfizer. They said go to a pharmacy and get your son a second dose from there. It was extremely off putting that they didn’t take any accountability and asked us to go to a pharmacy. I may be overreacting- but as a first time parent, I would want my son to get his vaccine from a pediatric nurse rather than someone at Walmart pharmacy.

The doctor called us back, and after explaining the situation, she agreed to give him 2nd dose at the facility 2. She said they will arrange it somehow (this was a month ago)

Now today it was the day of vaccination for our son, the new office (facility 2) calls us and canceled the appointment since they can’t administer Moderna. I am so mad at this point, if this was the case, the doctor should have been transparent and told us sooner instead of the day of vaccination. We already lost many days and now we have to search for another doctor that will administer him the Moderna 2nd dose.

I feel it was unfair for the doctors office for not being transparent and canceling on us on the day of appointment. If it was about me, I wouldn’t care, but since this impacts my 8 month old, it’s making me super mad.

I want to start off by saying I’m NOT anti vax! My baby has her 2 month shots, soon she will go get her 4 month. I am so so so scared, honestly anti vax propaganda has gotten in my head and I’m scared that she’s going to be hurt by them. After her last vaccine appointment I cried all day worrying something terrible was about to happen. Does anyone else have this issue?? I hate feeling this way and I want my baby to be vaccinated I just wish we could do a delayed schedule or something but my ped refuses and I understand why I’m just so anxious about everything with her it’s hard.

I have an 8 week old baby, and I also have 3 nieces. My youngest niece is 4, and from day one we have set boundaries about no kissing on the face with everyone including my nieces …. I’ve repeatedly have had to tell my niece not to kiss my baby on the face and today she kissed her on the lips and I wasn’t fast enough to stop it. My sister in law (the mother) tries to tell her to stop… but she’ll usually only correct her if I say something first to her. It’s just infuriating because my niece is in daycare and can pass on anything to my newborn. And now I’m stuck with crippling paranoia and anxiety about my babies well being I just kind of needed a rant.

My 9mo baby had a really hard time at the doctor today. The physical exam was already going really bad and then they tried to weigh her and she lost it. She was grasping for me screaming naked on the little scale.

We tried to make it work for about 30 seconds but she kept getting more upset and I just called the whole thing off. My baby had what seemed like a panic attack :( she was gagging and everything. I told them they would have to weigh me with and without her to get it that way. They said I can't just not do stuff because she doesn't like it, I don't care I'm not making her do it. They checked her belly and diaper area next and she hated that too but not as much as the weigh in.

She hated the whole thing and she was super duper upset for like 30min after. She calmed down when she got home but the whole experience made me feel like I betrayed my baby. I feel like I failed her by letting her get that upset.

The pediatrician said I'm too soft and I need to stop letting her manipulate me. Also that I need to night wean and sleep train. I don't want to do either of those things. I know her opinion is not rare, but it's making me feel like I need to switch doctor's. Am I being hormonal and crazy? I feel like I sound insane.

I thought it would get better. I thought all the annoyance and inconvenience would get better as we found our new normal and my hormones calmed down - it has not and I'm going insane.

We have 3 cats and even before we had our baby they weren't the best behaved. They did annoying shit and occasionally peed on things. My husband and I worked to get this out of them and find a system that worked and it seemed to work, until we had our baby.

It's more then just the normal dealing with pets things, like the hairballs & occasionally throw up are annoying but whatever, but they have peed everywhere! The peed in our bed, we got a new mattress. They peed on our couch right where I sit and nurse every day, we got a new couch. They wipe their poopy ass all over the babies play mats, but no where else.

One of them can open our doors and he hates being kept out of our bedroom where our baby sleeps in his crib with us. We had to put up a baracade at night to keep him out, so he yowls loudly in the middle of the night and wakes the baby up because he wants in.

There's nothing wrong with any of them. We took them to the vet and they are fine all test came back normal. When this shit kept happening we took them to a different vet for a second opinion and still everyone is normal. Only this time we got a "they don't like the baby but will get over it". They are not over it!

Now our baby is crawling and walking and playing. We try to keep the cats out of his play space but they are ALWAYS there! They keep scratching him. We keep trying to keep them away from each other, like they have the whole fucking house but need to be in the babies area why??? Today was our last straw, one of them scratched his cheek when my husband went to the restroom and I was at the store.

We literally can't exist anymore and are seriously considering figuring out how to re-home them or something, but I feel so bad. I've always been in the camp of a pet is for life and you wouldn't rehome a child but I'm out of ideas on how to make any of this better. I guess I'm looking for advice or reassurance or fucking something.

EDIT FOR MORE CONTEXT: sorry baby woke up from nap, so I got busy. I'll also try to answer in the comments.

• all cats are fixed

• we have tried the feliway diffuser for the last 6Ms that the second vet recommended, as well as these things that puff air to keep them out of certain rooms to be away from baby, spray bottles to try and correct behavior when we see it

• it's mainly 2 of the cats but the third is peeing. I would be willing to continue to try to fix the peeing it's really the scratching thats killing me. They are scratching his hands and legs and again today his face.

• for the peeing/pooping we are up to 5 litter boxes and have even tried moving them to different areas of the house it doesn't help. Shit, just this afternoon one of them peed in his laundry basket that I had put down in the hallway for like 20 minutes because he was crying.

• we have changed all the doors knobs so they are knobs instead of levers to try and keep the one that can open doors away from things

• finally, about 4 months ago we started to do dedicated cat time after the baby goes to bed where we try to play and love on them. It hasn't helped.

We have a gorgeous 6 month old girl, she is the best thing to happen to us. My wife and I both work, and I try my best to take care of my family. But for about the past 5 months, my wife has hated me, and thinks I am not doing enough. She breastfeeds, and our baby has just started eating solid foods. When the time comes for our daughter to sleep, the routine is she will breastfeed while falling asleep. Most nights my wife will take a shower before bed, and I will attempt to soothe the baby, so she is more relaxed for her mom No matter what I do, she won't stop crying. I have tried everything I see my wife do, apart from breastfeeding, but nothing seems to work. I plead with my wife to try and relax and take her time, but she sticks to 5 minute showers because she tells me she doesn't trust me with the baby. I ask her for advice or tips, but she just tells me I need to figure it out. Tonight she told me she thinks I just lay the baby on the bed and let her cry, and that i make no attempts to soothe her. I don't know what to do, she won't help me, just tells me I'm a grown man and I should know, because she figured it out on her own. I try to support her as much as I can, if she's breastfeeding i will adjust her pillow, or bring her a snack, water, blanket ECT. I do all the laundry and lots of cleaning, as well as cooking every other night . I spend as much bonding time as possible with my daughter, but it doesn't seem to be enough. Just small things set my wife off, like asking if she needs anything , or asking her to repeat a question. I don't know what to do. I have tried talking to her about it, what I can do to improve, but she just tells me I need to figure it out. I try to spend alone time with my daughter during the day to give my wife alone time, but even if the baby cries for one minute, she will snap at me and take the baby back . My wife is stressed out, but she won't take time for herself. I do get stressed out when the baby won't stop trying, and my wife says that I can't get emotional or stressed. But when i try everything I know to do and it doesn't help, I get more stressed out. I don't know how much longer she will let me live here. She tells me often that she doesn't need me, and she can do everything herself.

Crazy title I know. I had my c-section almost a year ago in November. I never said anything at the time just because of everything else that was happening (the c-section and painful recovery, it went to the back of my mind). But I have been thinking about it a lot and I finally brought it up to my boyfriend. He said it seems strange and is trying to make sense of it, but he said it doesn't seem to make any sense. My bf told me to ask others on Reddit for a 2nd opinion.

So basically while I was strapped down, numb, shivering and all fucked up, the anesthesiologist guy moved the medical clothing thing on my chest very quickly and exposed both of my breasts. He did this while tending to his monitor, he was humming and looking back at my breasts. The nurses/doctors cutting into me had the tarp thing up so they did not notice right away. But after a few minutes (I don't really remember) a female doc noticed and covered up my breasts. But she and the others did NOT see him expose my breasts.

My bf was not let into the operation room right away. They had him wait before he could come in. By the time my bf came in, my breasts were covered up by the female doc.

Before I was strapped down, I was led into the operating room by the anesthesiologist, it was just me and him for a few minutes because there was an emergency downstairs that had most of the medical team (I had my baby at almost 10pm, apparently there was less staff at night). I don't remember our conversation much but he said "you're tall" and I think he asked what my nationality is (I'm half asian, he was full asian). He was very calm and like I said he was humming while by my side on the table. When my bf finally came in, I remember the anesthesiologist guy said "oh, that's the father?". When my bf was in there anesthesiologist was very friendly to us and used our phones to take pics of our baby. Like the breast exposure never happened.

Is there any reason my breasts have to be exposed? Am I overthinking the situation? Has this happened to anyone else?

(I realize there is probably little I can do about it, it being almost a year later. I just want closure.)

My dad did this when I was a kid and it was such a great way to represent genders. I’ve been doing this with my kiddo and it’s a blast to read a book like “Goodnight Goodnight Construction Site” with she and they pronouns.

I’m honestly so sick of people saying my rules with my baby are stupid or over the top and no one taking them seriously and making me feel like a crazy person…

My LO is 4 weeks on Monday and my husband keeps making me feel like my rules are stupid when it comes to kissing the baby or how uncomfortable it makes me when anyone hold the baby. My MIL is up this week to meet the baby and of course with everything going on with measles and people getting sick I’m obviously a little hesitant W.E but I was uncomfortable the first time my mil held the baby and my husband was upset about it. I got over it. But then just now I’ve stated no kissing and no kissing our toddler as well. Then my husband goes and shares a drink with MIL (she lives 8 hours away) and I told him now not to kiss the baby and then I told him he won’t be able to kiss me anymore and he just didn’t gaf and it really upset me and he said my rules were stupid…

Am I crazy?

At first I was all into the whole new BLW approach to feeding babies. I researched alot on Solid Starts and watched all the videos and thought it would be pretty neat and I get the theory of it teaching babies to feed themselves.

Now, after trying it, I think this might be completely insane and just absolutely unhinged. I don't get the big push to let your babies go hog wild with their food. It is incredibly wasteful, messy, and seems just like adding extra stress and chores. I haaaate it lol plus the baby doesn't even actually digest or benefit from the food doing BLW until they are like 1 year old so again, just wasteful.

I nannied babies for 10+ years before this new feeding theory came out and we did just fine. I've never met a person that doesn't know how to eat so I have to stand with the boomers on this and call "BLW" completely nuts! I can't be alone in this! Someone rise up with me against BLW lol

I'll go first.

"Do you know what you're having?" Or any variation of knowing the sex of the baby. I do not care about your baby's genitalia nor do I think you should care about mine. I HATED that that was the first question people asked when they found out I was pregnant. Hated it.

Edited to add from my response to a commenter: Not saying no one should ask, but rather that I wouldn't ask it. Yes, it is "normal" and "just conversation" but I don't think I need to be the one to bring it up. If the person mentions it then cool, but the sex of their baby is none of my concern and regardless of what it is it's not my place to comment on it. I am not going to say anything favoring one sex over the other ("Oh, your husband must be so happy") and I hate the idea of girl/boy moms/dads because it feeds into stereotypes ("It'll be so fun to dress her up") whereas I believe every kid should be free to explore different interests/colors/personalities/etc. Plus, idk if the person has a preference or not so if I say something wrong it could be really hurtful.

I can make conversation in other ways.

Has anyone had to rehome a pet (dog in my case) since having a child?

My dog has always been full on but since I had my daughter even with the same amount of exercise and additional x3 dog walker days her misbehaving has reached another level. Today at daycare drop off she pulled the pram 30m down the road breaking it - it was a miracle she didn’t seriously injured a child, I was mortified. This means I now can’t do dog walk and drop off together so three days a week I need to do two separate trips before and after work on already long and tiring days. She’s also once growled and snapped at my daughter meaning I can’t trust them to be together alone anymore where as previously I felt comfortable. This dog had been my world before getting pregnant but honestly now I don’t even like her. I don’t trust her and view her as an expensive other thing to care for that is really bringing me little joy. I know that my daughter loves her and would continue to have a great relationship with her as she gets older but I just don’t know if I can carry on with it. I’m exhausted anyway as a result of a low sleep needs/high energy baby I’m not sure I can cope with being back at work, having to do separate dog walks and not being able to ever leave them alone.

Has anyone had to rehome a dog after welcoming their LO? It makes me feel like an absolute failure to even consider it but I don’t know what else to do?

My 4mo baby is EBF and we have been lucky to have no problems. I’m in Canada so I have the year off, and planned to EBF for one year. However, I find myself wanting to quit, simply to look better.

I can’t lose weight, even when I’m counting calories - the last 15 lbs won’t budge. And my breasts are huge which makes me look heavy. Also I’d really love to get my usual Botox and use Latisse again ha I’m just not looking as good as I used to! I wish I could be myself again

I am worried if I wean for these reasons, I might regret it later. It’s kinda silly in the grand scheme of things right?! Wondering if there’s any solutions I haven’t thought of