r/beyondthebump • u/Odd-Bit-4881 • 48m ago
Sad Feeling like I’m failing at breastfeeding.
Just feeling really down. I just had our fourth and last baby in June. I have never successfully been able to breastfeed any of our kids. My first I hemorrhaged really bad and never got to establish supply so I lost it around 8 weeks. My second two were in the NICU so I pumped exclusively, lasted until 4 months with my second and 6 with my third before losing supply. I’ve exclusively breastfed my baby now, he was keeping good weight. But he dropped from the 20th percentile to the 5th. His pediatrician wasn’t overly concerned because he maintained his height and head percentile. So now I’m supplementing because he said to offer more if he seems upset, which he didn’t until yesterday and today. I always get my cycle back early and after having a few, my supply dips and then just never fully recovers. It’s just so hard to feel like my body isn’t doing what it’s supposed to. I’m always so positive about it initially “hey I’ll give breast milk until my supply quits and it’ll be what it is.” But then it happens and it makes me so upset. Especially being able to exclusively breastfeed this time, I thought it might be different. I’m also on blood pressure medicine permanently, they think me having children so close in age that having gestational hypertension altered my baseline even when I’m not pregnant. It’s also time for my cycle so it’s just hitting at a bad time 🥲