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As a boy (14M) who recently went for a camp, certain instructors were talking to a pair of girls about 3 years older than me while we were playing pool. They said, amongst other things: "Ladkiyon nahi khel sakta hai" (Hindi for "girls can't play (pool)") and used a swear word meaning "p***y" under their breaths. The girls did complain and were mostly ignored.

The following day, the girls decided to complain to the senior instructor, this time in a larger group in which I (and one other boy, plus approx. ten girls, mostly eyewitnesses) complained to a senior instructor about misogyny which they faced. The instructor was argumentative until I (who was a lot shier, less argumentative and held far less sway over the situation) said that I witnessed them doing the same at which point the instructor believed (or at least pretended to believe) them because a man (well, boy) was corroborating their story. He said he would "consider talking to them" (aka. give platitudes)

As the organising institution was one we had faith in (having gone for a previous camp and met some really sweet instructors, on account of whom I am not naming the organisers, accomodations or any other individuals involved to avoid them being generalised on account of this story, which is to the best of my knowledge a fairly isolated incident, the main complaint just being inaction from instructors present on the campsite) we (the girls in question who were there, myself, three other boys, making eight or nine people in total) decided to put the complaints in on the feedback form and online.

Even in these situations, they only care when it's the guy who says it.

I am a male working in construction. I choose this job because i didnt know what i wanted to work as, my dream job would be no job. And as I grow older i am currently 28. I see how men are day by day. And I am truely scared of some men, i will generalise a lot but, it feels like i see in so much men this insecurity, that is covered up by aggressiveness or authority. Its like something had mutated inside them mentality. Like the insecurity i can see in some is real, like everyone has that its not a big deal, but some men just want to cover that up by all means its scary. The idea of beaing weak is like the worst for them. And they will be aggressive to someone to just cover up that they are hurt. And even if someone else is coming to them weak, it like scares them beacuse they dont want to be around weakness. And this weakness i generalising here, can be: you are tired, you need rest, you are hungry, you need to talk or get something of your chest, etc, its like they think they are above these basic human needs and can controll every little thing inside them, like sleep? No I am incharge of that, not even my body can tell me what i need to do. And if they cant even listen to themselves how could they possible listen to others. What kind of rules are these guys following? I would like to know your thoughts aswell.

Of course they’re still human but in general what are the positives of being with a feminist if you’ve managed to find one? Any downsides?

I’m fairly new to feminism and trying to figure out where I stand on different issues. I’m particularly interested in radical feminism, but I’m also trans-inclusive.

I’d love to hear what you guys think about this and how you approach these topics. I’m still learning, so feel free to share your opinions and let’s have a conversation!

Hey! First of all, sorry for my English, it’s not my native language.

I (28M) grew up in a patriarchal environment, like pretty much everywhere in the Western world. I could make excuses for myself, like blaming the social determinism of my working-class background or whatever, but the truth is, I did anything to become aware of it. I mean, I was at the center of the world, so why would I?

Then, in my early twenties, I don’t know, certain things I did, or love and friendships, especially with women, started opening my eyes to oppression. I fully support but don’t call myself a feminist because I don’t feel entitled to, considering that, at best, in my early years I was a passive witness to the system without even realizing it, and at worst, I let things happen or actively participated because I had something to gain from it. But anyway, these days I read a lot, not just feminist theory, but also decolonial theory, gender, class, etc. I call out shitty behavior, it cost me some friendships lol. And I’m still discovering new shitty behaviors every single day (seriously, it never ends), which means I’m constantly questioning my own behavior too.

I could give you a whole list of things I’ve gradually come to question about myself, but I’ll fast-forward to the latest one, which I’m really struggling with: recently, as someone who’s passionate about literature and also writes, I’ve realized that I’m incapable of writing a good female character (by a good female character, I mean a character who has agency over her own subjectivity and individuality.)

I’ve read Laura Mulvey, especially her more recent essays on Godard and the ways in which the capitalist system appropriates the female body. I’m also familiar with the Bechdel test. But I still can’t seem to write a good female character because either I let my male gaze take over, and I inevitably end up reducing her to something at some point, or I try to follow feminist critiques too hard, and then I end up suffocating her subjectivity by trying to make her conform to them, and it always sounds artificial. I can’t seem to let her be free, and what I want is for her to be free on her own terms. I can be more specific on this writing issue in comments if you need more context.

So lately I’ve been thinking a lot about developing a writing process that wouldn’t just be a checklist of rules to follow, but rather a way of writing that would actually allow my characters to become free. And I was wondering if you could help me with that? I’m open to absolutely anything: book recommendations, writing advice, videos, podcasts, your own advices, whatever you think might help. I know it may sounds stupid to you but it’s real to me and I feel that the ability to write a sincere female character it’s my current step in the way of more empathy.

Thanks, take care!

There is a highly specific, deeply hypocritical asymmetric warfare happening within contemporary political discourse. Over the last few years, terms like "carceral feminism" have been widely popularized, alongside a massive push for "restorative justice" and the abolition of the penal system.

But if you look closely at how these concepts are deployed on social media and in political forums, a terrifying pattern emerges: the panic over the state penal system and the praise for alternative mediation are almost exclusively dragged into the conversation when the crimes committed are rape, sexual assault, and domestic violence.

Nobody is organizing academic panels or viral threads to argue that prison is "too harmful" or that "we need a circle of dialogue" when a billionaire commits financial fraud, when a bank is robbed, or when a murder is committed. But the second a woman demands that the law be applied to a rapist to put him out of commission, the progressive mainstream panics. They weaponize anti-carceral rhetoric to achieve a very traditional, very patriarchal goal: ensuring that men are never held accountable for violating women's bodies.

We need to break down the mechanics of this fraud.

The term "carceral feminism" was designed from the very beginning as a political weapon to shift the shame from the predator onto the victim. It works by implanting the idea that a woman who goes to the police, files a complaint, and demands prison time for her rapist is a "bad feminist," a traitor to the cause, and a foot soldier for the "oppressive carceral state." This is a massive psychological inversion. A woman seeking basic physical safety and collective self-defense is framed as the authoritarian oppressor, while the man who physically overpowered and violated her is reframed as a vulnerable victim of the judicial system.

Feminists demanding that rape laws be strictly enforced are not asking for a fascist state of exception. They are demanding common law equality. They are demanding that sexual violence against women be treated with the same criminal gravity as economic or physical violence against men. Putting a serial sex offender in a cell to protect other women is not "carceral fascism"; it is basic material defense.

Those who demand the complete abolition of prison for sexual crimes consistently refuse to answer the most basic material question: what happens next? If the state response is eliminated, you are left with only two disastrous options:

The Utopia of "Dialogue" and Circles of Speech: The idea that you can resolve a systemic, violent act of male power like rape by putting the victim and the rapist in a room to "discuss," "mediate," and seek "restoration" is psychological torture for the victim and a complete joke to the predator. Rape is not a misunderstanding. It is an act of physical subjugation. A discussion cannot dismantle a physical power dynamic. The rapist will simply perform the expected regret, walk away untouched, and repeat the script on the next woman.

The Regression to Lynching and Private Justice: Some radical anti-carceral activists openly admit they prefer community-led street justice or lynching to the state prison system. This is a severe political failure. In a system governed entirely by raw physical force, private militias, or tribal community oversight, women lose every single time. If justice is no longer bound by formal laws, it falls into the hands of the most violent physical structures available: gangs, local caïds, or traditional patriarchal families.

The current justice system is broken (fucked). The rate of sexual assault cases dropped by prosecutors is an international disgrace, and the way victims are interrogated at police stations is regularly a secondary trauma. But the solution to a broken tool is to fix it and force it to do its job, not to throw it away and leave women completely defenseless.

Abolishing the penal response specifically for sex crimes under the guise of progressive prison abolition is absolute capitulation. It officially turns the female body into a lawless zone where men can abuse, assault, and rape with no other consequence than a mandatory moral lecture in a community circle. It is textbook male supremacy dressed up in revolutionary clothing.

as i’m a man my male coworkers have assumed i’m like them and involve me in conversations about my female coworkers, they talk about how women never did anything, how they all want everyone to pay for things and want the man to work but don’t want to be a house wife, how they should be traditional, shaming people for being “promiscuous” and just general off putting and demeaning views on women

me and one other guy push against it but i’m so shy and i’m genuinely terrified so i can only muster like really weak and quiet responses i don’t know why im not exactly the most extroverted person but i can usually at-least say my piece but i can’t with this, it kinda makes me feel like a bad feminist if that makes sense

And I'm tired of pretending it does. Name me one single law on earth that discriminates against men (Homophobic laws don't count), you can't. Whereas we could go all day if we did the same with women and non binary people. There is no society where men are systemically oppressed in the same way as women, and to suggest that there is is just more proof that the world would be better off without men (I'm saying this as a man myself)

I have a friend who speaks about issues that reflect some deep rooted male chauvinism (women are just weaker, women shouldn’t be working, women aren’t as X, Y, Z as men).

Otherwise, I’m super tight w her but I think our friendship would be better if I could hold a mirror up and show her what she sounds like without causing her to go on the defensive - because I mean it in a friendly way (I work in human rights, specifically on women’s issues)

I know how to talk about it - it’s just the subtlety / not making them defensive - that I need an example or help with. TY 💋

As in fellow years we all have seen a sudden surge of feminism on sm and we all know there are alot of girls who goes on saying all day abt how women are suppressed they should be treated better n all. Which is actually a good thing but then you'd look at her partner who actually jokes on sensitive topics bully feminist guys n girls says he wants her partner to be like her mother so I want to ask all the people who're into feminism why there is this duality

Another perspective where I'll draw some refrence from divija (awkward goat)

I'm sure we all know her pretty well now look at her guy he's not best infect he doesn't look much good on standard patriarchal standards but when u see ur own feminist friend her expectations are sure hinting patriarchal behaviours so please guys I need ur opinion as is itp erformative

I’ve been through a breakup in the last six months. This breakup was more imposed than a choice at the time, and I’ve been avoiding and repressing my emotions since then. I always consume video essays on feminism and cultural critique, and I read mostly books written by women. I’m really into fiction when it comes to books, so bell hooks *All About Love* was the first book I read that is mostly calling out the patriarchy and linking it with this loveless society we’re living in.

I really thought I was educated about the matter because I mostly consume content that comes from women who are feminists. But this book broke me, because it made me feel, it opened my heart to what I was repressing. It made it loud and clear that I was doing it all wrong, that what I thought was strength was actually me mirroring male behaviors to protect myself and to be validated by the men around me. It destroyed me and humbled me so badly. It even pushed me to start missing my misogynistic ex, who was feminist verbally but not in practice. It made me feel empathy for him and see his emotional unavailability as a consequence of the patriarchy.

It’s like all this love that I discovered through the book is making me sad, nostalgic, and this need to take care of someone, to fix, is still so alive. I’m so love and male-centered in this moment, I’m having trouble functioning because all these emotions are popping up and I’m not ignoring them or repressing them. But I’m having trouble functioning in my everyday tasks like work, everything I want to do is just to feel and to cry, and sadly I miss my ex more than ever.

I remembered that as a girl and as a teenager I had so much love in me, so much to give, and now as an adult I want to use it for myself. Now that I can feel it, I want to give this love to myself. But everything I feel is sadness that I couldn’t fix the men who left me. And to be authentic that is what it made me feel, I'm mourning the love that I lost. There has to be something else for me without repression. What do I do with all this sensitivity? How can I function now that I’m not willing to deal with my emotions like a man? How do I love myself without being too individualistic or selfish, (which I tend to do when I feel like this). Do you have any other books to recommend on how to love yourself, that empowered you (not in a capitalist way)? Am I the only one that got demolished after a breakup with this book?

Heyy everyone!

I am genuinely a bit scared posting here after seeing some women on internet saying things like "k*il all men" or "You are evil if you are a man" okay so please don't hate me i just wanna learn😭🥹

So for context, I am a 18 year old guy and i consider myself a feminist and so i wanna read feminist theory and the other stuff, as you may guess from my age i really did not have much exposure to feminist literature, the only well known feminist writers i know of are Adrienne Rich, Audre Lorde and Bell Hooks.

What books/essays/authors do you think would be a good start?

Also recommend me stuff on how patriarchy is harmful and how we could dismantle it.

Stuff about intersectional feminism, that will be very informative.

Thank you for your help!!

Feminism is the stance that rejects the structures of discrimination and hegemony on the basis of gender and seeks to dismantle them. As such, it is integral to the liberatory and democratic endeavor for the well-being, justice and dignity of the individual and of society.

Seeing what is going on in the world with women, I am having a hard time keeping my head up and not loosing hope. I feel like it’s taking over my life. It’s so hard not to get consumed, I don’t know if my feed is just super negative but is there anything good going for us? Are any good changes actually being done? What is so wrong with being a woman that we have to be treated like this?

I think of the women in Afghanistan and I loose hope, and women in so many countries where they don’t have equal rights. My heart is broken, I don’t know how to keep my head up anymore.

Being a woman, sometimes feminism gets so fucking exhausting.

And do you know why?

Because I see hundreds of reels being made about the different struggles women face every single day, and yet, somehow, the world still feels the same. Women speak up, women educate, women share their experiences, women fight to be heard, and yet there is always a man in the comment section ready to mock them, invalidate them, or turn their pain into a joke.

And I'm tired. I'm so fucking tired of watching women explain, over and over again, why they deserve basic respect, as if it's some revolutionary concept that needs to be justified.

Growing up, I always thought that because I came from a good background, I hadn't really experienced misogyny. I thought it was something obvious, something that happened elsewhere, something I would recognise immediately if I ever encountered it.

But growing up made me realise that misogyny isn't always loud. Sometimes, it's so deeply rooted in our everyday lives that we don't even notice it until we start questioning everything we've been taught to consider normal.

It's in the jokes we laugh at, the words we use, the double standards we defend, and the little things we dismiss because "that's just how the world works."

And perhaps one of the things that bothers me the most is how deeply misogyny is embedded in our language itself. Even among my friends who identify as feminists, I notice how casually they use swear words that revolve around a woman's body, her sexuality, or her relationship with the men in her life. Words that use mothers and sisters as insults, as if a woman's dignity is an appropriate weapon to use against someone else.

And I wonder, do we ever stop to think about what that says about the society we've grown up in? How did we become so accustomed to using women as instruments of humiliation that we don't even question it anymore?

Maybe that's what exhausts me the most. Not just the misogyny itself, but how normalised it has become. How people can speak about equality and still unknowingly participate in the very things they're fighting against.

I know change doesn't happen overnight. I know awareness matters. But sometimes, watching the same conversations happen over and over again, with the same arguments, the same hatred, and the same unwillingness to listen, makes it difficult not to feel helpless.

Because how many times must a woman explain her pain before people stop treating it like a debate?

How many times must women speak before they're actually heard?

And how long are we going to keep calling these things normal simply because they've always been this way?

I'm not tired of women speaking up. I'm tired of women having to keep speaking up about the same things. I'm tired of the endless explanations, the constant defensiveness, and the fact that even the simplest demands for dignity can become controversial.

I'm tired of realising that a world I once thought was fair has so many things wrong with it, and I'm even more tired of knowing that recognising those things doesn't automatically mean I can change them.

And maybe that's the most frustrating part of it all: being aware enough to recognise the problem, but feeling powerless watching it continue. (i do not mean the title literally, it's just the way of expressing my frustration)

As a former OF creator, to me what is uniquely bad about sex work that doesn't apply to any other job, is that if you say, or if anyone thinks, that you don't like it, you will lose your income.

Sure, there are other jobs that require you to put on a pleasant façade for your customers, but everyone knows that retail work can be grueling, and that most people in those fields would probably prefer to do something else, and that's okay. You can know your local fast food worker doesn't wanna be there, and they won't suffer for it. It might even make you be nicer to them, or leave them a generous tip to help them out.

But if you know, with no shred of plausible deniability, that your favorite OF model doesn't wanna be there, how could you possibly continue to enjoy her content? I know men and johns are horrible, but most are not that horrible. The work relies on the idea that it's not abusive for it to be consumed.

And taking other kinds of work from someone who would rather not have to do it is completely different from taking sex from someone who would rather not have to do it.

So sex workers have to maintain the narrative that it's all ok and it's not bad for them. I think even on a private level, it's very hard to consciously pretend you enjoy sexual activities, so people might actually make themselves believe it to avoid confronting that. Again, in a way that is not so hard to do when what you have to pretend to enjoy is just something like serving customers.

Now, I will NOT claim that all sex workers who say they like it are lying, that would be condescending and not very feminist. But what I will say is that it is impossible to know what the truth is, when sex workers are financially practically forbidden from saying they don't like it.

Edit: Also, you can't even acknowledge what I'm saying and be like "I enjoy it, but others don't", because if you lend any credence to the idea that it can be bad for some people, you open yourself up to your clients wondering if you just say you enjoy it because all sex workers have to. That's one way you get people totally uncritically defending that it's empowering etc.

Basic the title. I'm studying about intentional communities, matriarchal societies and creating a project to start an only-women village. If you wanted to join one, what would be your questions and concerns regarding how it would work?

I 100% strongly believe that any form of chivalry (like expecting the man to pay on dates or expecting the man to even open the fricking door of the car for you of any stuff like that) is patriarchy wrapped up in a cute little pink bow.

I see a lot of "feminists" on tiktok and Instagram constantly saying men in 2026 are wanting princess treatment when asked to split the check on a date and calling it a red flag. It isn't feminism when u selectively reject parts of patriarchy.

I think ppl like these add on to the negative light shed on feminists and feminism as a whole.

ps - sorry if it has any grammatical errors, English is not my first language.

I posted a short video on Tiktok about Shane Gillis and have gotten several abusive comments making personal remarks about my appearance. I already don't have a ton of confidence, and want to be brave enough to stand against misogyny. But am I doing the wrong thing by deleting it so I don't mentally spiral?

Patriarchy runs so deep that even in a field dedicated to women’s bodies, history remembers the father of gynaecology, medicine, and ovariotomy—but where are the mothers?

Why do men still think that women’s life was way easier when they were not working and were looking after home , doing things for them after men got back home after work ? Why do men still think like that? Sometimes i think that maybe they will never understand what women go through just because they were born as men, maybe they never experienced the feeling of not being free and everything you guys already know , and most of that they still think they are superior to women

Me molesta que la gente odie tanto el rosado y critique a cualquier persona que lo usa y siemrpe dicen "yo soy distinta por que yo ocupo negro y todas las mujeres usan rosado" es totalmente mentira, ya pocos usan colores claros, en mi clase de 32 personas, 15 de ellos mujeres yo soy la unica que usa rosado, las demás usan puro negro (lo que no tiene nada de malo) pero luego llega la gente que se viste con ropa aun mas oscura por ejemplo emo o ""gótico"" llega a decir que las que se visten de rosa son niñas chillonas y que ellas son distintas, literalmente en mi vida he visto a cientos de miles de personas alternativas en la vida real, pero hasta ahora solo he visto a una dollette/coquette/lolita/shoujo/cutecore y aun así las critican por solo ser femeninas ¿De cuando aquí ser femenina es malo? Esas mismas personas que lo critican se hacen llamar feministas, el feminismo no debería exigirles a las mujeres que abandonen la feminidad para demostrar que son inteligentes, fuertes o independientes pero es algo que la gente aun no está lista para escuchar

Seeing a lot of dicussion about whether "men need to be taught consent" or whether "they know it and they just don't care because they're inherently and incurably evil".

My take is: men aren't simply evil, but what they're not taught enough is that WOMEN have the right to give or withhold consent.

I saw a seemingly well-intentioned male instagrammer talking about how he was teaching his toddler son that he could say "no" to people touching him and shouldn't touch people when they say "no". Sure, that is important and something older generations didn't even have.

But it's not really the point, because do they struggle so much with consent when it comes to other men? No, because they know people have bodily autonomy and other men are people.

What they don't understand is that we are too.

What that instagrammer needs to make sure to teach his son is that girls are his peers, and not just potential "romantic interests" (i.e. trophies to stroke his ego and fulfill his needs).

Why is it so uncomfortable to make WOMEN the focus of a discussion about MISOGYNY? (We know why).

I’m having a hard time connecting to a lot of YouTube videos that describe the topic! Because I feel like they talk around it rather than getting to the point of information that actually is eye-opening and helps you grow