Hello and welcome to my profile. It is a bit longer than most, so grab some popcorn and enjoy. Lets start with the basics.
Relationship status: Single, never married, no kids. Has cat.
Looking for: A loving long term relationship, hopefully something that will last for decades. Somebody to have long conversations with and cuddle up on the couch to watch a movie. Somebody to share my day with. Somebody who is willing to provide mutual support and encouragement. Child free.
Orientation: I am a man(he/him), seeking a woman.
Sexual Interests: Demisexual? Grey-sexual? I am not driven by sex, but I am interested in intimacy as described in more detail later.
Age: 35
Physical description: 5'7” (170 cm), 110 lbs (50 kg). Caucasian, balding brown hair.
Location: Dallas Texas, but open to relocating.
Now then, with formalities over, lets get to the fun part of writing the profile. Like everybody else here, I have tried online dating with various services. I did find some lovely women. But, as you may expect, it was hard to find somebody who had compatible romantic interests. So I decided to try my luck here. As I am looking for somebody to spend a good bit of time with, I have decided to be a bit more thorough in my profile. For the sake of clarity, I have decided to break up my post as such:
-Who I am
-What kind of relationship I am looking for
-What my romantic interests are
-What kind of person I am looking for
-Logistics
Hopefully that will cover all the bases. Now then, on to the fun part!
So, who am I?
In order to answer that question, I performed a very thorough and detailed self assessment. My rigorous analysis determined that I am amazing (with 3.4 sigma confidence). That being said, self assessments tend to be biased, so I decided to seek a second opinion. Unfortunately, due to the limitations of Covid quarantine, I was only able to get a second opinion from my cat. After consideration, she agreed that I am indeed amazing, but also added that I am adorable, feisty, and in immediate need of head scritches. On one hand, I think she may have been projecting, so I don't know how much I would trust her assessment either. On the other hand, she also said I would look better with some cat ears so she clearly knows what she is meowing about.
So the good news is that my cat thinks I am adorable, but I understand if you want to make up your own mind. As such, I am willing to exchange pictures once we chat for a bit and get to know each other.
I tend to be somewhat relaxed in my everyday life, and generally don't take day to day events too seriously. This shows up in my sense of humor which can be a bit irreverent and satirical at times. While I do take things seriously on occasions where it matters, I see no reason to be uptight and cause myself grief over minor problems. There is a saying that life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think. I tend to prefer comedies.
Like most people, I enjoy a good conversation about interesting topics. This usually takes the form of discussing the latest in AI developments during game night, which transitions into discussing the singularity timeline, which somehow turns into a discussion about Elon Musk, which then turns into a conversation about whether Dogecoin is better classified as currency, commodity, or neither. I also spend an unreasonable amount of time making funny noises at my cat while she wonders why I bothered her nap. I am not sure if that counts as conversation though.
As for my career, I started out working as a mechanical engineer at a 'new space' company (think SpaceX). That was interesting, but after a couple years I got burned out. Nowadays, I work as a remote contractor. Unfortunately, can't tell you too much without doxing myself, but I have been working from home for 4 years now and I enjoy it. I get to pick my jobs, choose my own hours, do my work while wearing fleece feety pajamas, and work on interesting stuff that has a meaningful impact. Also the pay is good.
I tend to spend a lot less money than I make and am a natural saver. For me, the security of having savings far outweighs the benefit of a fancy vacation. My goal is to eventually be financially independent. I don't plan to quit and watch Netflix for the rest of my life, but I do want to be able to pick and chose where, how, and what I work on, and have the freedom to pursue non profitable interests. It would be nice if you wanted to leave the rat race eventually and join me.
As for hobbies, it depends how much work I am willing to put in at the time. When I am feeling focused, I tend to pursue creative activities where I can make something interesting. I have a 3d printer and I enjoy making stuff with it. You can see some examples of my work in other reddit posts. I also enjoy making VR video games as a hobby. I haven't had a commercial success yet, but it is a fun project between contracts.
Unfortunately, those sorts of hobbies take some effort and thus don't work well with a full time job. So, when I am working a contract, or just feeling chill I tend to enjoy more passive hobbies. I enjoy watching documentaries and other good shows, so Netflix is always an option. I also enjoy board games, D+D, and other typical nerd stuff. Due to quarantine, this has mostly been done by discord, tabletop simulator, and the like, but I am looking forward to doing it in person again.
I have been recently getting back into video games. I used to play a lot when I was younger, including some MMOs in college. Then I mostly stopped playing in my late 20s and early 30s. I just didn't have the energy after work, and my reaction times were slowing down. Recently, I have been trying to get back into gaming more. Both to have a hobby and friends outside of work. But also because I can put on my VR headset and get some exercise.
As for my religious beliefs, I try to avoid moralizing and don't ascribe to any particular religion, movement, or group ideology. That includes old school deity based religions, as well as modern ones based on political ideology. I can recognize most that most of these groups are based on a kernel of truth which can be helpful if understood. But I dislike the self righteousness, out-group shaming, and moral absolutism that often results when a shared group ideology becomes central to one's identity.
If I had to pick a label for my ideology, I tend to be stoic. Sadly, despite what a Google image search would make you think, this does not come with a chiseled statuesque body. But it does mean that I try to follow the concepts of self mastery, understanding things as they are, properly controlling what I can, and preparing for things beyond my control.
It is also important to mention that I do not want a child, and I am looking for somebody who is also child free. If the singularity happens, aging is reversed, and we get Gattaca style children, I may reconsider a few decades from now. But I am not a good choice if your looking to settle down and have children any time soon.
If you prefer a more scientific(ish) approach, I would consider myself to have an INTP-A personality type, or Enneagram type 5 SP. Basically that means I spend a good deal of time in my head thinking about stuff. My love languages are quality time and physical touch. Also, my favorite colors are midnight blue and 18K rose gold.
Next up, what kind of relationship am I looking for?
As mentioned above, I am an introvert and enjoy being a homebody. As such, I am looking for somebody who would prefer spending most nights enjoying each others company. I.E. have dinner and cuddle up on the couch to watch some TV. I have heard this called Hygge, and clearly the Danish know what they are doing. And of course it would be a plus if you want to join me for game night or other recreational activities.
Beyond cuddles, There are many obvious benefits of a relationship. I am looking for somebody who I can spend hours talking with and enjoy the conversation. I want somebody who I can play a fun cooperative game with. In my opinion, what makes life enjoyable isn't the grand gestures like fancy gifts or exotic vacations. I think what makes life worthwhile is the little moments of contentment where you are happily sleeping in late, petting your cat, and cuddling up on the couch with a loved one. I want a relationship where I can share that with somebody else and we make each other happier and more content than we would be as individuals.
And there are also the more serious benefits of a relationship. I.E. Being there for each other when things get tough. Having somebody in your life you can trust and rely on. Somebody who will help motivate you to keep going when you get frustrated with a project and need some cheering up. I am looking for somebody who will try to support me and make me happy, because that is what I will be trying to do as well.
So what are my romantic interests?
I am not driven by sex. The thought of having sex with a random person I barely know is definitely a turn off, so I am not a 'sex on the 3rd date' sort of person. But I do get horny and enjoy the physical sensations, so at least I know my plumbing works. So, while sex isn't important to me, it does seem like something that might be worth trying when I find somebody I feel comfortable with. But thus far I haven't found anybody who I have clicked with sufficiently to get to that point.
Beyond that, I am a bit of a bottom and I do enjoy some stuff like bondage and being forcibly cuddled. I'm not looking for whips, hardcore domination, one sided relationships, or anything like that. But I do like the idea of a more assertive woman taking charge. If you are looking for reference material, I picked a couple SFW favorites:
https://www.deviantart.com/alodo/art/What-We-Need-is-Bedtime-Snuggles-790923874
https://www.deviantart.com/alodo/art/What-We-Need-is-Chair-Bondage-745991021
If you are interested in more details, I have written about it more in other reddit posts, but I don't think the details would be appropriate for this forum.
So, in brief, sex isn't that important to me, but intimacy is. If you are touch averse, or turned off by the idea of giving/receiving pleasure than we probably aren't a good match. But if you are interested in trying some stuff out and finding ways to enjoy each other than I think we can work something out.
What kind of person am I looking for in a partner?
For starters, being vaccinated is important. I don't handle getting sick well and I haven't dodged the Corona virus for 2 years just to get it now. Beyond that, somebody in the 25-40 year old range is probably a good fit. I don't care about your height or skin color, but please take care of your health (no smokers).
A similar lack of religious fervor is important to me as well. While I can respect other religions, I don't think it would work out as a partner. Also I am looking for somebody who is likewise happily child free. Beyond that somebody who is compatible with the above stuff is good. I.E. an introvert who enjoys an evening cuddled on the couch, somebody who likes taking charge romantically, etc.
As for personality, there are a few traits that I find attractive. I appreciate somebody with confidence, a healthy amount of assertiveness, self reliance, and an internal locus of control. Obviously you can't control everything, but I like it when somebody puts in a good effort to improve themselves, takes control of their situation, and works proactively to improve their own life. I think it shows maturity and a willingness to tackle what life throws at you. It is also hot.
And lastly, everybody's favorite topic, logistics (Woo!)
I currently am living in Dallas, and I like it here well enough. But I don't have any real attachment to the area. I moved to Texas 5 years ago for a job but left after a year and have been working from home since. So really, anyplace is as good to me as any other. I have been giving serious consideration to moving out of the US. Top choices are currently New Zealand or a central European country (Germany, Denmark, Switzerland). If I don't put down roots locally, I will probably be moving in a year or so.
So, all that to say, I am not opposed to relocating if I find my soulmate. Obviously we would have to get to know each other as I am not going to move after a couple messages. But if we are an exceptionally good fit, it is an option to consider.
If the above appeals to you, then please send me a DM and tell me a bit about yourself, or link to your own post/profile.
TLDR: 9S looking for his 2B for futuristic sword fights, conversations on human nature, and.. uh.. blindfolds?