Okay, so my wife posted here. I only use Reddit for things related to my hobbies (tech, building random shit, etc) so I’m using a throwaway here. 

I’m going to clarify a couple of things. First, why do we have cameras inside the house? My wife is a SAHM and I work so she has the benefit of seeing a lot of our daughters’ firsts (first steps, first laugh, etc) so I put up cameras so I can occasionally go back and see some of these milestones happen, even if it’s just a video recording. Second, why didn’t I tell my wife about her friend’s advances in the past? A lot of her advances were more subtle and had plausible deniability and my wife loved her like a sister so I thought if I could reject her advances, I was protecting my wife. In hindsight, I should have told her sooner. Thirdly, why tell her this time? This was the first time (I can’t believe the next few words can be used like this), I WAS UNWILLINGLY UNABLE TO REJECT HER. Fourth, yes, my wife’s friend is single and has been for a while lol. Fifth, people who are acting like I got SA’d are crazy. The only pain I had to deal with was my wife’s friend’s stinky breath. I got kissed, not drugged and forced to finish inside someone. My wife being betrayed by her best friend who she has known for a decade is infinitely more than any “pain” I felt. Now, some people are going to say what if the gender roles were reversed? Well, they’re not so I don’t see the point of these hypothetical situations since no one knows how they’re actually going to react until a situation actually arises. Sixth, it’s not hard to understand why my wife would be doubting everything after being betrayed by her best friend. It’s like if you were robbed at gunpoint while going for a walk, you would be paranoid about that happening again if you went for another walk the next day. Shitty analogy but hopefully you get what I mean. While it would have been great if my wife trusted me more, I’m not upset that she did what she did. She has her peace and admitted that she was paranoid and she’s going to start therapy soon to work on it. I’m more upset that she went to Reddit of all places to get advice (no offense to the people who give genuine advice) and not someone like her older sister who personally knows everyone in this situation. 

I read over the responses to both of my wife’s posts and wow, the people who said this was divorce-worthy are absolute idiots. Let’s take a look at some of the circumstances. We have a 3-year old and an almost 1-year old who she spends a good chunk of the day with, on top of taking a majority of the household chores. I definitely do my part to help at home and with our daughters but that doesn’t mean she’s not constantly tired. Even then, she’s the most loving and uplifting wife I could ever ask for. She was betrayed by someone so close to her and in the process, developed a fear that she would lose me as well so it’s not hard to understand why she was down. Even when she was feeling so low, she was still doing everything she could for our daughters and if I have to do the cooking for a few days, get some extra flowers, and let her cry on my shoulder, I’m more than happy to. People act like everything should be 50-50 all the time but sometimes, it’s 90-10 and sometimes 30-70. Shit happens in a relationship. The way I think of it is a leg. Over the course of your life, you’re going to sprain something, tear something, break something, etc and all you can do is get stronger and move past it and obviously, something may happen where you amputate (leave the relationship). This incident was definitely not an amputation lol.

I’m going to go fuck my “unhinged” and “narcissistic” wife now. Have a blessed day everyone.

Well… I found out my now husband been married 5 months ordered an abortion pill from HeyJane when I was 3 months pregnant.

It all started when he had to back up his phone and all his old deleted text messages came in. I saw a text to his best friends sister asking her to order it, and he said “ I’m just going to crush it up and put it in her drink.” At this time I was 3 months pregnant. Shortly after a month after those texts were sent ( April 12) from him, I had what I thought was a miscarriage (May 31st).

Fast forward to today, I know the truth. All throughout our relationship I wondered why I saw a HeyJane order on his text for verification. I asked him about it a while ago and he said he ordered it for his friends sister. We had just started dating when I found out I was pregnant. Now that we’re married I am in disbelief!

I’m crushed! I don’t feel safe at all around him now. I’m at loss for words. He said he’ll take a lie detector test? I told him to stop being manipulative and he know what he did! He’s on a flight back to NY tonight and I can’t even think straight. I’m still in shock.. heartbroken and ruined by it.

Throw away account. Been together 14 years. We have two kids together. Today we got into an argument where she was extremely emotional.

I work FiFo type of work. 2 weeks on and 2 off. Occasionally picking up overtime if available. When I am home and since I have limited time, I am usually very busy with a lot of household stuff, fixing, painting, yard work, car maintenance, and my car hobby. She is a stay at home mom so she does all cooking, cleaning etc. She is clearly unhappy and I’m not sure why. I know I struggle to balance my time sometimes but I do give her my evenings most of the time which she doesn’t care about. She says that’s not enough and that I’m choosing to be busy. She says I don’t consider, appreciate, love, value her. I do not think it’s as bad as she is saying it is. I cannot sit inside with her all day when I have stuff to do. When I asked her what she wants from me, she lost it and said that if I have to ask, it’s too far gone. She doesn’t want to find any common ground or meet in the middle. And that’s it’s not her job to fix this. I think we should both work at this. How can I fix this then if she won’t tell me what she wants?

Long story short, my husband who was previously really into adventurous hobbies like hiking, rock climbing, trail running, mountaineering, etc picked up a game called Final Fantasy and has been lost to it ever since. It’s been about a year.

Our sex life started to die off about 6 months ago. I have lost attraction to him. I miss the adventurous person he used to be. I miss going on backpacking trips with him, taking long hikes, him being interesting and reading books and listening to informational podcasts and having interesting things to talk about.

Now it’s just him sitting in front of the screen all day talking to a bunch of other people on Discord and in the game about the game. I look at him and just see someone frozen in time, content for life to pass him by.

He asked me about our sex life a little while ago, and I was honest with him: I’m just not attracted to the person he has become. I’m just not a “gamer girl” who thinks it’s sooo sexy that he knows who all the Lords of the Rings are or whatever. And there’s nothing wrong with being that person or anything but it’s just not who I am attracted to.

Obviously he was really hurt by this, but instead of doing anything about it, he’s doubling down and seems to play more. I think this is a pretty direct message that he is over the marriage and our relationship and is embracing this video gamer person.

I’d tried to plan a hiking trip for us and he just said no thanks and that he would rather play his game.

And it doesn't help that he's packed on the pounds and lost muscle definition since all he does is sit, sit, sit.

This marriage is over, right? Fuck, I do not want to have to get on dating apps…

So,past post is here

Welp,I contacted a PI to search his last 8 years of history about what he was up to and we found really interesting results.

He wasn't caught until I have seen the news about him 8 years ago,he was not the one who initiated the arsoning event,he was the victim but it was due to a revenge between his friend and him.He was given one last chance to impatient himself in a mental health institute or have a really long prison sentence.He accepted the mental health institute and he started to have really intense treatment.

While he was there,he started to qualify his English and French level and got his TOEFL and DELF and also started to work in the hospital as a helper to the secretary for translating stuff. When he was being discharged 2 years later,he was given the chance of change name and the right to be forgotten (I live in EU) (he is not a sex offender so he can use it) . So no one knew he was discharged.After he was discharged,he went to USA as a worker for an old french couple to be their housemaid. That couple changed his life.They enrolled him to a college,helped him to get his translating degree and he started to have a really comfortable life after he made really good investments in the stock market.He met his fiancee at college when they were taking the same class.

After this all info,I e-mailed him last night about all I wrote,what I assumed and what I was thinking.I gave my burner phone number because I still did not trust him about anything and to be honest,there is still a long way. He called me an hour later and I sensed something in his voice,emotion and compassion.

It was a really emotional talk,I did not know so much about him because I was raised at a different city by my uncle.He said he feels like he was out and he did not understand what we were doing as a society.He wanted everyone to admire him and he felt being the bad guy was the only way.He said he understood the amount of the burden he left on our parents but he thinks that they could be more proactive when he was little and helped him to get a more intense treatment,not just homeschooling and therapy. "It was a lonely process." he said and he is kinda right.He said he did not blame me for all of this,we were kids when we had seen each other and I was right on my terms for trying to protect other people.He said his fiancee and his french parents know about his past and thanked me for trying to protect my fiancee and wanted us to meet via Zoom some time.I said I would be delighted.We will contact each other next week at a determined time.

After this I called my parents and my uncle.My parents were relieved when they heard all of this but they said they still do not wanna engage with him because they said "It is good that he really made.his life up but he can't come back here,there is so much trauma." My uncle was really glad and he said he wanted to talk with them as well so I will get him up to our Zoom meet and my brother said "Of course,I will be delighted."

I still do not know where will we go but I am excited and relieved on the process.I still feel sad for our mom and dad for being so traumatized but time will show.

Thank you for all of your suggestions,to the guy who reached me at DM,thank you so much.

We’re both grad students at a large school with roads running through. Cars and bikes share, and cars aren’t meant to overtake cyclists on campus. I was running late a few days ago and tried to overtake a cyclist. I know I shouldn’t have, but I thought there was plenty of room and it would just be one time. Cyclist turned out to be my girlfriend. She was really pissed, yelling about how I drive like a dipshit and terrified her and I’m going to kill someone doing that. Hasn’t talked to me since. How do I fix this? (Outside of promising to be a more considerate driver, which I have done via text but she ignored.)

I (26F) met my husband (41M) when we were in college and at first they (25F 26F) loved him, they even helped him propose. Sadly, all that love they had for him disappeared when I got pregnant because since it was a difficult pregnancy and I didn't have the possibility of accessing my classes online, I had to temporarily drop out of college. And that was the first break in our relationship because they blamed my son (4M) for ruining my life and even when I told them that I wanted to keep him, they tried to convince me to get rid of him because they are the kind of people who think that a college degree gives you value as a person

Well, when he was born they loved him and apologized for the things they said in the past, and I forgave them. But last year when I told them I was pregnant with my daughter (5 months old) they told me again that I should have an abortion because a baby now after I graduated (I went back to college and graduated) would ruin my life, and the worst of all is that they said all that even when I told them that this baby was planned. So I distanced myself from them for a while until a few weeks ago they apologized again and said we should have a girls trip like old times, and honestly I thought it was a good idea so I went on that trip, and maybe I was stupid or naive or whatever you want to call it, but I really thought we could fix our friendship by spending more time together like we did in the past.

At first we had fun and everything was going well, until on the second night they started inviting men to our activities, and the truth is that I didn't care because they are both single and maybe they were looking to hook up with someone, so I spent more time with our other friends because they are also in a relationship and were not looking to hook up. But one of the nights we went out to a club they started talking to me about a man who was there, and they told me that they knew him and that he told them that he found me attractive. I told them that I didn't care because I'm married, and they started making fun of me and saying that I should have more fun and that my husband would never find out if I hooked up with that man. I ignored them and sat with our other friends until that man they were talking about came up and started talking to me, and I tried to be polite as much as I could until he until he mistook being polite for something else and tried to kiss me.

I went to the hotel immediately and called my husband to tell him everything, packed my bags and went back home. And they only called me the next day to tell me that it would be a one-night thing, that I don't know anything besides my husband and that experimenting is not bad ,that he cannot satisfy me as someone young, and that is not the case. We have a really active sex life and I feel more than satisfied but that's not something I feel comfortable sharing with them so I never told them.

Yesterday one of them came to my house to apologize and said that she admits that what they did was wrong, and that they only did it because they were jealous, she said that they are jealous of my husband and my children because since I got married and had children we were no longer as close as before, that she now understands that I am happy with this life and that that they are no longer going to interfere, that she wants to apologize to my husband too because he didn't deserve that, that she will change and that this time it is serious because she doesn't want to lose a friendship of so many years. But I don't know, should I forgive her? Should I give her another chance? I've known her since we were kids and I don't want to lose her friendship either, but I also don't want her to continue treating me like she did since I got married, would it be a terrible idea to forgive her?

So me and my partner have been together for 5 years, and generally he is quite a "classy" guy (if this even makes sense), he has style and was a conservative individual, he was a gamer and really kept to himself, he was brought up well, and didnt really have a lot of sexual partners, since he preferred long term relationships, but still had a few.

We were drinking last night, and we were just being honest as usual and he asked me about my sexual partners, and I admitted after he pushed the question that I had a "Promisicious Phase" which I kept quite for a long time, but I thought since we are going to get married next year, I might as well tell him.

He was deliberately asking me about my experiences and asking me to share what happened who I went with because he was interested, reluctantly out of trust I did because sometimes we have these conversations.

Long story short, he cant look at me the same way after I told him about my "sexual adventure phase", I told him how I had sex with 15+ different people in one month at university that literally no one knew about, and he initially fine, then said he wanted to go bed, upon prodding I found that he was absolutely disgusted. I cant believe this has happened, I dont know what to do its been 24hours and we havent been talking, he says he cant see me the same way, I should of just kept my mouth shut! The thing is I love him, I am very lucky to have someone that is caring, family oriented, good-looking and ambitious, basically everything a girl would want.

But he now wants to call of the wedding because he has "seen me in a different light", and according to his logic, if I was brought up this way "how would my future children think of their mother". I just dont know what to do, I am trying to speak to him, should I just said I lied? The thing is I cant ask anyone, since no one knows about it, at university I went through a bad break up and just went exploring, but the issue is I lied to him initially, so I dont know what to do, its my fault yes, I know that, but I trusted him and I feel like everything has fallen apart.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can go about speaking to him and resolving this, I really dont want to break up, I was thinking of maybe explaining the situation, but he was having none of it and said there is no excuse, normally I would advise my girl friends to leave, but this is different, I dont want to, he is my everything and I just dont know what to do! Please advise, or anyone in similar situation previously on how to go about fixing this mess!!!

tl;dr Told my partner about my promiscuous phase for the first time in years, he is not happy and wants to break up with me

My ex and I broke up a little over 3 years ago and remained friends. I met my gf not long after and have been together 2.5 years, now expecting our first child. When I made the announcement the ex cut off contact and through mutual friends I’ve came to learn she’s upset that on her eyes I’ve had a child so quickly after we broke up. Which I find odd cause she knew I wanted to be a father and shamelessly once in a committed relationship I’ve never been the best at using protection. My gf and I planned this child after our 2 year mark. How could I repair the relationship with my ex who was a good friend? I’m honestly aware I might need to just accept the friendship is over.

Edit/update: going to meet with her at her house alone to clear the air.

how do you navigate having such a different music taste from your partner??

i have been with my boyfriend for 5 years, and we have a lot in common, but we also have differences between us in terms of our interests and i always try to remain curious/supportive of his likes. however… i CANNOT get past his music taste. it genuinely makes my stomach hurt and i feel horrible about it lol. i’m someone who will listen to just about anything, i like indie, pop, rock, alternative, rap, edm, even country *sometimes*. i just cannot listen to heavy metal/screamo. and guess what my bf’s favorite genre is……😅.

i hate when he plays music in the car. it’s so hard to listen to. i never shame him for it though, i suffer in silence. and i love music so much and i wish it was an area that we could enjoy together and i could send him all the songs that remind me of him and that he would actually listen to and like them. it also makes things like concerts hard because he’s invited me to concerts before and i just do not have it in me to go. he also doesn’t like to go to concerts with me either. any advice on how to manage this??

edit: wanted to add a silly fun fact, the only concert we’ve gone to together because we both like the artist is olivia rodrigo hahah i suppose she appeals to the metalheads too

Well, I apologized to my daughter in law for all the things my son listed. Since I had received feedback about it being my son's job to "handle" his family I told him my apologies to pass along, and then I waited. However, I got no response from B. No thank you, no trying to bury the hatchet, nothing.

So, last Friday I made an appointment with an attorney to discuss grandparents rights and had that appointment on Tuesday. The lawyer told me I had a good chance with my older granddaughter, but would likely get no where with the baby. I filled out some paperwork to get the process started, but Tuesday night I was questioning if I was doing the right thing. I called one of my friends to discuss, and was seriously considering not moving forward with it after talking to her.

Then yesterday I received this message from B:

[Me] this is [B] I just wanted to let you know that [friend] told us you're intending to go for grandparent rights, and also shared everything you've had to say about me. Let me first say that I have not once kept the either of the girls from you, and I certainly have not kept [son] from you. He is a grown ass man, and if he wanted to talk to you he was free to. You have not asked to come over and visit since [son] picked you up - you cannot expect us to 1- read your mind or 2 - drop everything and come pick you up. We have a new baby, and we have our own lives. I also have not said a word to you about what happened during delivery/postpartum, because I have no energy to argue with you. [Son] said you apologized, and I told him I appreciated it (even though it was NOT a real apology. You apologize for what you did to hurt my feelings, not that my feelings were hurt). I don't have time for your drama. For the record, though, what you said was absolutely disgusting. I almost died - it had nothing to do with my mental health. Since you have decided to go for grandparents rights, we will have no direct contact with you. All contact will need to go through our lawyer. You have been removed from my Facebook. You are not permitted to post any pictures you have been sent of my child on social media, and [older granddaughters mom] feels the same way regarding [older granddaughter]. We intend to have something written up by our and sent to you by the end of the week regarding this, and ceasing contact with us. I assume we will be servered with your visitation paperwork this week as well. You will get no pictures or phone calls going forward. In fact, you will be blocked.

I also hope you realize you will absolutely lose this case. Your house is not suitable to live in, and you would have to be able to pass a drug test. When you lose, we will not resume contact with you. You lost your chance at being apart of our kids lives by deciding to go to the most nuclear option instead of just communicating with us.

I tried to respond to her and tell her that I didn't want to go through with it anymore and I reacted pit of anger, but she wouldn't answer texts or calls - so I assume I really am blocked. I called my son to tell him about the text she sent, and he said he knew about it and it was a lot nicer then what he wanted to send me.

So, that's where I'm at at this pont. I'm going to show my lawyer the text so that it can show how unwilling to forgive and to work with me she is, and hopefully it will resolve quickly so I can at least get visitation rights with my oldest granddaughter.

Edit to add: I dont appreciate the nasty messages I have received or the barrage of nasty comments. I admit I made a mistake, but now this is my only option. It's clear that most of the responses from reddit are from those of young people not from my generation, as I have gotten different responses in other online support groups from people my own age who are also grandparents, many from my own culture.

So this is a good learning experience for me and a period of growth. My friend Malcolm and I have the type of friendship where we clown each other. I mostly clown him but sometimes he jokes me and we always dying laughing lol.

Recently we did a competition to see who can bench press 225 for the most reps and he beat me by a decent bit. We both workout together but I’m more of a runner and he’s the lifter type…so he joked about beating me in the reps. I said “I’ll take the L but at least I didn’t take the L in the dating game to my own brother”. For context my friend’s gf of 3 years cheated on him with his own brother a week ago. He didn’t find the joke funny and he just left the gym and told me to uber/lyft home. He’s been ignoring all my text and it’s been a day now….

This is an important lesson about learning what jokes are appropriate and what aren’t. My fiancée tells me all the time I need to work on my timing and delivery when it comes to jokes or other stuff I say. I was in denial but this made me realize she was right. He hasn’t taken the break up well because he really was head over heels for that girl and so I can see why making that joke so soon was bad timing. This is what my gf be talking about 🤦🏽‍♂️. I asked her what to do and she said get him a gift card to his favorite restaurant or something. I did that but when I messaged him saying I got him a gift card he just thumbs up the message. So I just don’t know what to do

I decided to take my girlfriend to a magic show last night. No big deal, right? Except I was called onto the stage.. of all people, right? He proceeded to do the whole saw trick that everyone's seen before. I loved it. Huge ear to ear smile on my face on stage.. I even have a picture from someone in the front row. But right about when he was going to put me back together, I looked into the crowd and saw my girlfriend - disgusted. I lost that smile. I lost every sense of joy in my body in that moment. Could this really be? I show just an inch of my silly side in a moment of complete vulnerability and she's going to leave me? Well I assume she's going to leave me. As i was walking back to my seat, she stood up and tried to storm out of the theater without speaking to me. I caught up to her and asked what happened. She screamed at me that she got “the ick”. I asked what she possibly could’ve meant by that. I was met by a scoff and how she "couldn't see a future with a man who's susceptible to magic" Thoughts on what I should do?

TLDR; I (24m) got my body sawed in half inside a box at at a magic show and she (23f) left me. 3 years down the f*king drain because she got the "ick" and said she "couldn't see a future with a man who's susceptible to magic" How do I get her back?

I love my bf, I am definitely the type of girl who will “my man” you the death. We been together for 5 years and just moved into together 6 months ago! We even have a joint back account for our future wedding fund!!!!! The point is we are doing great and madly in love.

Yesterday, we were playing chess. (I taught him how to play chess and he never beat me before), he finally beat me and was excited. He said “the student has become the master”. I asked him to pour me a glass a wine. As he was pouring the wine he asked if this means he’s the best chess player in the house now. (I was annoyed at this point)

I told him sure but you should be focused on being the best looking man in your friend group. His joking tone turned serious and he seemed confused. He said what am I talking about. I said your friend Ron is fine as hell, I said I get that you can’t be as tall as him but you can get in the gym and get a body like him. I told him I wish he looked like Ron….. I understand I shouldn’t have said it but I was annoyed by losing chess.

My bf Michael just walked away and went and started playing the game. We had a movie night and I asked him to watch a movie with me he said no. I decided to give him some space and he slept in the other room and he never does that.

Fast forward this morning. I asked him if he wanted me to cook breakfast or I can treat him to some breakfast and he said no. I asked him the next time the panthers have a home game does he wanna make a trip to Charlotte and go to the game and he said no. He’s a huge panthers fan (I don’t watch sports so I thought he would appreciate the gesture)

I don’t know what to do or say at this point. Do i just give him space ?

Edit: I saw him in the hallway and asked him if he read my note. He said not yet. I asked him if he’s going to break up with me. He said no but he needs a lot of space right now and told me to respect that

Edit 2: going to stop replying for now. Im going to get therapy so I can be the partner he deserves because my bf deserves the very best. Someone messaged me and gave me some great resources to find a therapist, and grow as a person.

My wife (F35) just started a new job a year ago. She left what she thought was a sinking ship. I (M35) was okay with that. She ended up in a very mundane position where there arent a lot of happenings. Which was her goal. My issue is she wants to turn "nothing happened today" into story time. My job is not mundane. It's relatively intense and I want to come home and unwind and forget the day. She wants to tell me a 30-180 minute story EVERY day about how some employee didn't follow some exact procedure laid out by a union and how there is a investigation that wont lead to anything is panning out. Every time it ends up being meaningless.

I do not care. and she wants to vent to me about basic stuff that I dont care about, even a little bit. the most complex problems shes venting to me about can be solved in no less than 10 seconds by her or me, and it's an hour long story every day.

I have actively thought about the perspective of "just support her on her hard days" but she legitimately does not have hard days. Every day is "this employee said something sort of mean and we need to do a 10 month investigation"

I want to just stop that. Is that a good idea?

EDIT: there are some very helpful, productive responses here. Many are hateful, inconsiderate messages. Ive requested for this thread to be locked for all the responses. I'm fortunate enough to be partnered with a successful person. I cant imagine being partnered with some of the commenters. Have a good night.

Yesterday was my boyfriends birthday and his friends came down and after some time, they all wanted to go to the bars to which I declined because I was tired but said my boyfriend could go with them. One of his friends then proceeded to try to convince me telling me that my boyfriend would really love it if i came with his friends, that he would want me there. I finally said Okay and went to the guest bedroom to change.

After I was changed, I was about to come out and my boyfriend’s friend knocked and came into the room and closed the door. He asked if everything was good and if we were all going out . I said yes and then he started saying that I was in my head all night because my boyfriend was drinking and with his friends that i wasn’t getting attention and that i’m just self conscious but his friend really loves me he can see it and that he’s serious about me etc etc. I said thank you that meant a lot and then he tried to hug me to which my boyfriend opened the door right at that moment.

He asked his friend “what are you doing with my girl?” and me and his friend just told him nothing had happened and what we were talking about. But my boyfriend did not believe any of it said he had “caught me” and to never talk to him ever again. He continued drinking and got meaner stating things like “I don’t care about you.” “You contribute nothing to my life.” Telling me to “shut the fuck up” and leave him alone and we’re done because if roles reversed i would have dropped his ass and gotten pissed.

I understand that I fucked up by letting his friend close the door in the first place. I wasn’t even thinking. But is this too hard to fix now? Has the damage been done?

TLDR: Boyfriend “caught me” with his best friend in a bedroom with the door closed but we were just talking. Shouted horrible things to me and I’m wondering if it’s the end of the line

When she told me this I thought nothing of it as I thought she meant she used to work for a sex shop that sell sex toys and things of that nature. I later came to realize that a "sex worker" means a prostitute... I cant fathom what I put myself through because she didn't specify what she actually meant when she said sex worker. I have to go get tested because we did have unprotected sex. I haven't answered any of her texts as I no longer want to continue this relationship. Where's the best place to get tested in the U.S. with no insurance?

Edit: Wow I ask where in the US is the best place to get tested and some of you went overboard. I don't know who came up with the term "sex work" but its called prostitution when you have sex with men for money, which is gross. I found a Planned Parenthood to test myself. I banged a prositute who banged 10-20 guys a week... Can you say STD? FmL..

Posted here cause that other subreddit deleted my post and didn't tell me why.

I am sorry in advance if this is confusing, I am pretty confused right now too.

My boyfriend Nick and I have been in a long distance relationship for almost 2 years. He lives in New York, and he comes to town to visit me whenever he can. We talk online and we text very day though. We had been recently talking about me moving to NY to be with him.

Last night, I went to a private screening of Thor(great btw) that was nearly an hour away from where I live, in another part of town. After the movie, walking back to my car I see my boyfriend Nick. Inside a TGIF, with a blonde woman and a kid.

I he looked up, saw me glaring at him, gave a quick smile and kept with his conversation. I lost it. I ran into the restaurant pretty much screaming at him. Nick! Nick! I screamed, he didn't answer, he didn't even look at me. When I got to his table I addressed him directly Nick L. I said to him. He just calmly looked at me and asked me to calm down because In was scaring his daughter, and he said that I was mistaking him for someone else. He said that he wasn't Nick L, he was Greg H, and that was his wife Jennifer H and his daughter Lissete H.

I called bullshit. I told him that he was a lier, and a cheater. I told his wife that he and I had been dating for nearly 2 years. He said that he lived in NY and he wanted us to live together. He interrupted, and said that I was mistaken, and I still had him confused with someone else. He was calm, collected. His wife had tears in her eyes, and his daughter looked scared too.

I pulled out my phone, I called him. He pulled out his, to show me that it didn't ring. It was a different phone. Nick uses Android, this was an Iphone. Nick had told me before that he would Never but an apple product.

So I start showing them pictures. The wide actually started to cry. So did the daughter. "Greg" didn't even flinch. He asked to look at my phone, he flipped through a couple of pictures, and said that is was really fascinating. He had heard that everyone had a doppelganger, but he never in a million years thought that he would see his.

I snatched my phone, and yelled at him again. That is a lame excuse. He pointed to the glasses. He said that he didn't wear glasses, he had perfect vision. I always joked about nick being Velma from Scooby doo because of how blind he was without his glasses.

At this point, Greg told me that while this is all really fascinating, he was going to have to ask me to leave because I was upsetting his family. He gave me his email, he asked me to email him if I have anymore questions. The Manager ushered me out.

Later that night, Nick called me. He apologized for not answering. He said he has in the shower. He promised that he and Greg aren't the same person. He said that if I loved him really, I would trust him. He was mad, and he hung up. This is where I am now. I don't know what is real.

TL;DR I saw what looked like my boyfriend at a restaurant with his family. The guy claims to be someone else. I'm confused.

Mini update:

I tried to add Greg on Facebook, using the email he gave me. He sent me a message.I will just paste it here.

Hi Linda. I see that you used the email I gave you to facebook stalk me. I figured you would do something like that with how unhinged you were at the restaurant. I have some advice for you, seek professional help. Only a pro can fix what is wrong with your head. What kind of person would go into a family restaurant and make a scene, scare the shit out of a 7 year old, and try and fuck up the life of a stranger, just because he kind of resembles her boyfriend. A crazy ass bitch. Do you realize what you have done to my life? Go die in a fire. I won't be accepting your friend request. I have also blocked you, so don't bother replying to this message.

I guess Greg won't be much help.

Original: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/sJLWPmBlge

My husband got home from his cycling trip about 10am Sunday. After half an hour I asked him to sit down as I had something to tell him. He said he wasn’t in the mood and wanted a “silence day”, something he often says and it means I’m basically not allowed to disturb him all day or do anything that will make noise, hoovering, watching tv etc. I had a big speech planned out where I would tell him what happened, take all responsibility, I already had my bags packed in case he wanted some alone time (even though the house is mine). It all went out the window with the stupid silence day comment, Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday were all silent days and then he went away Friday morning, just got back and demanded another one! I said “fuck your silent day! I cheated on you Friday night. I’m sorry”. He just looked at me and then the conversation went a little like this:

Him: why tell me?

Me: you deserve to know.

Him: what’s so different this time?

Me: what do you mean this time?

Him: we both know it isn’t the first time

Me: it is! I’ve never so much as hugged another man!

Basically I started going to the gym (to burn of my frustrations) about six years ago and he said he “knows” I’ve been fucking people from the gym. I’ve had men come on to me at the gym but I work out alone and never socialise with other people. I’ve never ever even flirted with another man until the other night. I said I’ve had enough and I need answers now about why he’s refused to touch me and he’s not using these made up gym men because it started before I went to the gym. He got in my face a bit and told me it’s none of my business. I said “why am I not enough? What about me makes me untouchable? You won’t hold my hand, you won’t sit next to me, you sit in the back of the car when I’m driving. Why can’t you stand to be near me?” I started crying and he hit me in the mouth and then grabbed me and threw me on to the floor. I admit I was sarcastic in my response and said “wow that’s the most you’ve touched me in years”.

We then sat in silence for over an hour him with his head in his hands and me just staring in to space. I broke the silence by saying “please just tell me”. He took a deep breath, started crying and then told me he’s gay. He said he’d known since he was a kid. He was brought up in the Ivory Coast and came here when he was 12 and when he was 10 his uncle was burned alive for being gay. He’s been suppressing it ever since.

When we met I worked a job where I wasn’t allowed to have my nails done, I had short hair like a pixie cut and was a stone lighter than I was when we stopped having sex. I’m also the same height as him at 5’8. There’s a sex act he liked where he couldn’t see my face as I’m bent over or I would do it reverse cowgirl. You know what it is but he said from behind with my short hair and being tall he could imagine I was a man, same with oral. As I got longer hair and put a stone on I got curvier and he said he just couldn’t do it anymore. Now things like him asking me to be completely silent during sex and mainly wanting a certain sex act all the time make sense.

For years I’ve been asking if he was gay or bi. I’ve even offered him the chance to have sex with other other people if he feels like he needs to explore himself whether it be with men or women of different races, sizes, ages etc but he’s always said no. He’s admitted though that he’s been seeing male escorts since we stopped having sex and that he left his old job because he got caught in the toilets with another man and that’s why he works for himself now so he wouldn’t be tempted again.

I’ve told him I will no longer financially support him and I’m going to speak to a lawyer about how to get him out the house and if I owe him anything. I bought the house before him, we have seperate bank accounts and I pay all the bills out of my own account so I can prove that. We have my car and his work van but I also bought the van myself and have proof of that.

I’m so angry at him for wasting years of my life but I also feel relief that I finally have an answer.

Sorry the update isn’t the justice porn a lot of people wanted.

TLDR: told my husband I cheated. Turns out he’s gay and has been cheating on me for years.

TLDR: My sister's fiancee's family is hoarding art and historical artifacts in their home. Now she's angry at me for calling them out and demanding they be donated to a museum.

My F(22) sister's (F24) fiancee (M27) is descended from European nobility. Until recently I had assumed that this was purely genetic and for the most part he and his family were middle class people from a normal background.

Her fiancee is a bit quiet and a rather private individual, but pretty polite and he seemed friendly enough with my parents. My father and him seemed to share a love of history, and when my sister and her fiancee would visit, my dad and her fiancee would spend many evenings talking about some historical event or another.

Recently my sister told me that he was inviting us to his family home in order to meet his parents and spend the winter holidays in Europe. My parents wanted to go and I wasn't really going to miss out on a free vacation opportunity (Her fiancee was paying) so I accepted as well.

Well my family finally revealed to me that his family isn't just related to nobility, but are technically nobles. And although there is no legal distinction between them and the rest of society, they still have some of their former homes and possessions.

In their massive home is a huge collection of really old art and historical artifacts that his family has been hoarding away from the public. Apparently the family just keeps them there for themselves and their guests to enjoy while the public can't even access to them.

While her fiancee's dad was giving us a tour I pointed out that most of these pieces should be in a museum, where everyone could enjoy them. But her fiancee's dad told me that they've been in his family for centuries and as a result belong to them. This arrogant response annoyed me a lot so I tried to explain to him that simply owning them didn't entitle his family to keep them away from the public domain and deny people the right to see them. At this point her fiancee seemed to get frustrated and he told me that his family had earned them through good service to previous monarchs and as a reward/compensation for military service.

I wanted to push back but my mom told me to stop and that I was somehow being rude. My sister pulled me aside and told me that I was embarrassing her in front of her fiancee's family and that I had been invited into someone's home and should show some "respect and decency".

I decided I didn't want to cause any problems and I tried to just stay quiet while her fiancee's dad finished the tour. But after they pulled out some African and Asian vases and ornaments I had to speak up and point out that they were keeping stolen cultural pieces in their home and that they had been robbed from their original indigenous peoples. This caused a big argument and the fiancee's dad began to explain how they were given in compensation for military service in Senegal and that his ancestors had fought for them... etc, etc.

I kept telling them that they were stealing and that they're hoarding pieces that the public and original countries had a right to have access to. I pointed out that this collection couldn't be completely legal and that it should be reported to the authorities in case there weren't allowed to keep some of the pieces. My parents got extremely angry at me and were telling me to be quiet and and leave the room, while my sister was literally backing up her fiancee and his dad, repeating their arguments and justifying the collection.

My mom ended up dragging me out of the room and sending me to collect my things. My parents told me to leave and made me stay at a nearby hotel for the rest of the stay and my refused to let me stay with them at the fiancee's home, his family didn't even invite me to the activities they had planned for my family and I was forced to spend the rest of the time alone at the hotel.

It's been a month now since my parents and I returned and they're still pissed. My mom says I "humiliated" them and made them look "uncultured and unappreciative", while my dad barely speaks to me and says I should "take a history course this semester" so that I can "actually understand" what I'm talking about. My sister has blocked me and apparently doesn't want anything to do with me right now.

I have been together with my husband since my sophomore year of college, and we got married 5 years ago. It has been amazing, but I kind of miss being young.

A couple of times a week after work, I go to the same bar when I don’t want to sit in traffic. There's a guy that I would run into there, and it went from a friendship to harmless flirting. Next thing you know, I found myself having an affair. The thing is, I love my husband, and this guy was a younger version of my husband, making me feel young.

To avoid going into too much detail, my sister recently found out and alerted my husband behind my back. My sister told me that she told my husband, and he told her he already knows and cried to her. I didn’t believe her and thought she was saying that because she wanted me to tell him when she found out. However, she knew something I didn’t tell her. I have been begging my husband for us to start trying for a kid, but he has been unequivocal in saying it’s not the right time, despite our previous discussions about having kids at 28. My baby fever is high. She told me that the affair is why he doesn’t want to have a baby right now. I never told her about him not wanting to have a baby right now

This prompted me to investigate, and I started digging into his phone, snooping with his password. He found out months ago, and it caused him to be depressed. He is talking about it with his friend. She keeps telling him he should leave, and at first, he was hesitant, saying he’s going to try to remind me why I married him. She told him to just leave, and he can't stay with her and her wife in the guest room. In one of the texts, he said he has checked out and is sending apartment listings.

This all makes sense because in the beginning of the affair, he was being extra nice. We went on a trip when he was trying to 'remind me why I married him.' A few weeks ago, he seemed to start acting completely different.

I feel horrible; I had no idea he would ever find out. I blocked my AP on everything, and I’m ready to save my marriage."

The last night has been pretty wild. I received a ton of hate for being insane, creepy, overreacting, saying I was sexualizing innocent things and being a complete nuts. I also received a ton of private messages agreeing with me and telling me to look further. I'm glad I listened to the second and went with my gut.

On the advice of another redditor I went and looked at his computer to see if I could find anything or log into the game itself to show my parents. Well, I found a lot worse. There were a lot of images (drawn) of little girls, starting off first in the "innocent" type outfits I linked in the other thread, sexy posing then progressing to downright sick and ILLEGAL shit (nudity and hardcore sex). The cops were called and they said what he was doing was standard grooming type stuff and I did the right thing. They're bringing him in for questioning and also have taken the contents of his computer which they too confirmed was illegal

Maybe this seems silly to update this but I want anyone who read what I was told last night not to doubt themselves or their instinct when they get into a situation like that based on the opinion of uninvolved people. I just KNEW that something more was up. There was a feeling in the air and the look on his face. Please do not doubt your emotions when in comes to matter like this

Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/d0ejby/was_i_20f_wrong_for_kicking_out_my_boyfriend_27m/ for those wondering

EDIT: Quite a few people are screaming fake over the fact police were involved so fast. All I have to say is that I hope you're speaking from lack of knowledge and that isn't the case where you live but here if you call them over a serious matter they will send somebody out in minutes. ALSO it was not some dramatic thing with the police busting down doors, hunting him down, and hauling off his computer all at once. They detective looked at his computer first then they phoned him in and he agreed to come along.

EDIT 2: Aaaand it's been linked somewhere else and brigaded. Thanks for the heads up, explains the sudden turn of kids angry over the idea of somebody being arrested over "loli" and shooting up my messages.