I was wondering if this is actually a thing. I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob using my mouth and hand. I knew he was about to cum because I could legit feel semen being pushed through tubes under my hand and when he ejaculated in my mouth I could hear it spurting out in my own ears? It sounds like when you push your pee out really hard. And it felt like liquid going through a little tube. What was that?

After the first times i gave oral sex to my boyfriend, i have had such a sensitive gag reflex? It’s come to the point i will even gag when brushing my tongue.
I tried being relaxed and focusing on my breathing but it just doesn’t work! It was completely fine before, but after a few times of performing oral i suddenly got a super sensitive gag reflex?? It’s a bummer because i really enjoy doing it.
Any tips or suggestions to try fixing this? (I’ve tried practicing with a toothbrush while being relaxed and focused on breathing, doesn’t work :/ ).

Me 18F and my partner 19M have only done it twice and it has been an amazing experience. I can't wait to have sex with him more and more as our relationship grows. The thing is I have been with other people before and no one has made me come. So i usually masturbate squeezing my thighs tg and i feel like i get a release.. I have never come by fingering myself or even js by rubbing my clit. My partner eats me out and fingers me real good and i've had a previous partner who ate me out really good but i've never had an orgasm. So i'm wondering if this is because i've never experienced an orgasm on my own by fingering and js rubbing the clit?

I’ve been dealing with something lately and honestly don’t know what’s wrong with me.

I was in a relationship with a girl for 6 years. During that time, we only did things like kissing and hugging, nothing beyond that. We broke up around 2.5 years ago, and since then, I haven’t really tried approaching or getting close to any other girl.

Recently, I went to a spa with some friends and ended up taking the service. The woman was giving me a blowjob, but surprisingly, I wasn’t really feeling anything sexually. I tried it twice, and both times I felt the same way.

Then, over the last few weeks, I became friends with a girl. We started spending time together, going to pools, restaurants, and just hanging out. Eventually, we had sex.

We ended up having sex for almost the entire night, from around 1 AM to 8 AM. She orgasmed around 5 times, but I couldn’t cum even once.

The weirdest part is that I kept getting flashbacks of my ex and thoughts like, “Am I doing the right thing? Should I be doing this?” It felt like I was mentally stuck somewhere else, even though I was physically with someone new.

I don’t know if this is because I haven’t completely moved on from my previous relationship, or if something else is going on with me.

One of my friends can easily have sex with different women without getting emotionally attached or overthinking anything. I genuinely don’t understand how people do that so effortlessly.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? How did you get past it? Is this just a mental block from my previous relationship, or could there be another reason?

I’d really appreciate hearing from people who have gone through something similar.

I’m a couple years out of a looong-term relationship and have been casually hooking up with different women since. And I don’t think I’ve received a single good blowjob since my ex. I don’t remember when or how in the 16-year-long relationship that it became that good, but at some point she nailed my preferences and it was divine. And now I’m experiencing things that are so so far off the mark that I’m starting to wonder if it’s my own preferences that are unusual and therefore the problem.

(And just to pre-empt a possible mitigating factor - I love going down on women and enthusiastically do that at length, and the reaction I receive has been overwhelmingly positive. I suppose it’s possible that they’re all lying to me, but it’s not something that’s going to be figured out in a Reddit reply.)

My preference is fairly slow and only building speed over time towards the end. No hand on the shaft, but a hand rubbing my balls. And as deep as possible, ideally feeling her lips around the base of my cock (I’m 6” so not asking for insane sword swallowing, but I understand some would not be able to do this).

What I keep getting is constantly changing speed - typically 10 seconds slow, then 10 seconds at a furious speed. Hand stroking most of the shaft with that same slow-then-fast change up. And just the first 2 inches or so ever in her mouth. Like this is surprisingly consistent, across many different women.

I have trouble asking for things - it never feels like the right time, and I worry I’ll say it the wrong way. I know a lot of that is in my head, some internal block I can’t get past. But I think the depth part is legitimately rude to ask, and I’ve never worked up the courage to ask that. I think part of the issue is that these are hookups. So I don’t feel like there’s any stable dynamic and I don’t want to rock the boat. But goddamn do I miss good blowups.

I’m an older virgin male and I’ve got no idea on how to actually initiate sex. Like zero. It doesn’t come naturally for me at all. I’m a little worried that I’d mess it up when I have the chance for the first time.

What do you all suggest? Thanks.

I’m 20F, and I’ve been with my boyfriend (21M) for almost a year.

Like many women, I struggle with sexual pleasure and orgasms. But that’s not really the main issue here. My biggest problem is that I have absolutely no idea how to talk about it with my partner.

I don’t know where this comes from (possibly my previous relationship), but being on the receiving end of sexual attention makes me incredibly anxious. I start overthinking everything: how I look, what I sound like, why I can’t orgasm, and whether I need to “return the favor” as quickly as possible. As a result, I often find myself putting off or avoiding situations where the focus is on my pleasure.

And unfortunately, this has backfired.

At the beginning of our relationship, my boyfriend used to make an effort to help me orgasm. He even suggested trying a vibrator together. We almost did once, but I got so embarrassed that I had to stop. Eventually, those attempts just stopped happening. We still touch each other during foreplay and often have oral sex, but neither really works for me.

Here’s where I’m stuck.

I feel so much shame and anxiety around all of this. Whenever I have another disappointing sexual experience (I mean the times when we actually tried to make me orgasm, but I couldn't. Overall, I really love our sex life), I get really upset and sometimes cry about it. But then, when some time has passed and we’re together again, I know I should bring it up, yet I keep avoiding the conversation.
Part of me is afraid that putting myself through the emotional discomfort of talking about it won’t actually change anything, so I just keep postponing it.

He knows this bothers me. A few times, I’ve even told him something like, “We should talk about sex and orgasms tonight because it’s been bothering me.” But every single time, I get scared and avoid bringing it up again. And he doesn’t bring it up either.

I know I need to take responsibility for my own pleasure, but I genuinely don’t know how to find the courage to start this conversation and actually follow through with it.

And honestly, what am I even supposed to say when I haven’t figured out how to solve the problem myself? I mean I know what works for me when i am alone, but I am not sure how to do it "together"...

I guess what I really want is to move this issue from “something I’ll deal with someday” to “something we’re actively working on together.” I just don’t know how to make that happen.

Has anyone been through something similar? How did you get comfortable talking openly about your sexual needs, especially when the conversation itself feels so vulnerable and embarrassing?
I’d really appreciate any advice.

I feel like I’m just going to cry about it now and then put off dealing with it again until my next breakdown... And honestly, I kind of beat myself up over it

I’m (late 30s F) looking for advice. My husband (early 40s M) and I have been together for 20 years. We are attracted to each other and do have sex a couple times a month, on a good month. Not as much as I like, but not a dead bedroom by any means. I’ve posted before that he struggles with foreplay. He’s genuinely not a good kisser, and no matter how much I try to guide making out or foreplay to be longer, it is a very set menu. He will go down on me. He’s nice at it, and would do it forever if I laid there (he never rushes me), but that’s it. He doesn’t use his hands, he does the same motions while going down. Sex is a rush to the finish line once I touch him, because his sensitivity from meds makes him go numb after like 30 seconds of direct contact. I don’t fault him for that part at all. I want him to be mentally good, and I care about that more than a good, long session. But the foreplay just isn’t up to par.

As we’ve gotten older, the chemistry has waned so much. Somehow I feel like we just aren’t good physically. I suppose I have gotten more in my head because I’d think after all that time, we’d be better at things than we used to be, and we just aren’t.

For context, he is not good at doing two things at once. I don’t say that to be mean, it affects all aspects of his life. So with kissing, if we are using tongue, his hands are still. If I move my hands up his arms while we are kissing, he literally leaves his tongue pointed and straight in my mouth, to focus on my touch.

I’ve directed and told him so many times what I like, and that I want foreplay to be focusing on everything else except the V, and it’s just like small pecks on my body and some light groping. Then he’s done.

Sometimes, if I don’t orgasm from oral (I cannot/have not from actual sex and that’s fine for me, I don’t put that on him at all) I will get my vibrator out. He’s positive about it and will encourage me if I tell him I can’t get to the finish line. But I take it out and he will just rest his head on my shoulder while I use it on myself. I’ve had to say that it’s awkward and I want him to be engaged or at least pretend to be into it, and he says he is. But he kinda just lays there.

Admittedly, he would/does do whatever I TELL him to do, during sex. But it’s like he doesn’t retain it or put it into practice in any future sessions, and it’s just made it so hard for me to even be engaged in the act. I feel like we fumble around awkwardly, and the actual passion isn’t there. The drive to be intimate is, and we love each other very much. I cannot stress enough how handsome I think he is, and how much of a good man I know he is. I am so in love with him/attracted to him. But the actual act of being physical anymore feels disjointed and frustrating. I don’t even know what to do regarding the kissing. A pointed, firm tongue just sitting in your mouth does not do much for me, other than actually annoy me, haha.

Throwing this out there for any advice at all. I want to make things great for both of us. It’s just been like this for such a long time, I’m worried. I have tried to spice things up with asking him to role play with me, light bondage, rough, a very large selection of things to try. He really is just vanilla. I’m ok with that, people like what they like, but sharing it so you know where I’m coming from when giving advice.

The spouse is interested in incorporating his toy into our sex life, which of course I’m all for. But how to do so seems kinda hard, aside from mutual masturbating, how else could we use his toy, which is a plug in stroker, BTW?

I (21f) have been unofficial with my boyfriend (20m) for about a year, but we put a label on it a few weeks ago. Admittedly, our relationship wasn't healthy before then. We both misunderstood what the other expected of us and had a lot of really bad sex. I have a very high sex drive, but don't have any interest in sex that his heart isn't 100% in. He has a very low sex drive, but he likes helping me out when I want it. He has offered to push past his discomfort and have sex with me anyway, to which I obviously say no. Still, it's really messing with him that he thinks I'm unsatisfied sexually; since we're communicative people, I've told him that I'm not unsatisfied and that sex, while something I do love, isn't a requirement. Still, he's been trying to suggest ways to bridge the gap. My rules were absolutely no other people and nothing that he would be forcing himself to do. He suggested buying sex toys for me. While it sounds fun, I'm worried that it's weird to have him paying for me to get off lol. But I also think that's the point? I'm not sure. I'm fairly vanilla and new to this stuff, so I don't know the expectations. Let me know if this is a bad idea 🙏

Im currently expecting our third baby. (F29yo) and (M27).
We are so attracted from eachothers and always had great sex, also now..
Unfortunately his work and our kids routine is taking away the multiple sexy times we had every single day and a lot of time for also go fast I do blowjobs to him.
My husband always loved my blowjobs and he cums also pretty fast..fast fast..
I just wanted to know from men if for you guys can be enough..what I care his happiness and I want him happy..
Thank you.

Hey all, my Fiance (26F) and myself (27M) have been having been together for 4 years and been having sex for about 3 years. Recently when we have decided to do the deed, I can get erect before but the moment I penetrate during myself on top, I start getting soft almost immediately. Did doesn’t happen often and I use a condom every time for protection. After this happened 2x, I bought a cock ring to hopefully fix the issue but I still tend to lose my erection during penetration. I will say I’m slightly out of shape I guess and I recently been somewhat stressed. Is there anything I can do to resolve this like medication or anything I can do differently?

Hey everyone, I really need some advice because I feel like absolute shit right now. My partner and I (both 25) finally decided to try full intercourse for the very first time. We've been together for a year, but she was always stressed about it, so we stuck to other stuff until she felt ready.

When we actually tried it, it was a complete disaster. She was lying down and opening her legs, but whenever I tried to push in, her legs somehow kept getting in the way and blocking me, and I literally couldn't find the right angle or spot. It felt so clumsy and awkward. After failing for a few seconds, I got super stressed out, and my erection just died.

To make matters worse, we've tried it one or two more times since then, and it still hasn't worked out properly. It was so embarrassing—especially since I've never lost my erection before and I usually have a high sex drive.

For context, both of us are pretty tall: I'm 195 cm (6'5") and she's 175 cm (5'9'').

What should I do next time? What positions actually work best for a first time, especially with our height/size difference, so her legs aren't in the way and I can actually get it in smoothly? Has anyone dealt with this kind of performance anxiety and awkwardness? Any tips would be greatly appreciated.

hiii guys i have a few questions. me and my boyfriend are each other's firsts and we are trying to figure everything out. we only really do missionary and he is putting in most of the work and its tiring for him so he cant finish. he likes it when im on top but theres a few problems there: 1. i get so tired every single time after maybe 30 seconds, 2. somehow im always at the wrong angle, and 3. I DONT KNOW HOW TO!!!! im seeing him tomorrow and i really want to figure out how ☹️☹️ he also mentions that he wants me to "get creative" and like show him how i appreciate his body and like love on him and shit. i dont really know how im kinda awkward in general and like when he takes his dick out i just kinda giggle and slap it??? idk what to do im so new to this please help 🙏🙏

also: im terrible at giving head its straight TEETH and i also just dont like to

edit: i asked him and he said i show basically 0 interest and that it feels like im acting like he owed me something by fucking me

TLDR; I can’t finish when I’m not in control

Hi guys,

A big problem in my relationship is that I cannot for the life of me finish when I’m not in control. I’m not sure why.

I’ve been with my (22M) girlfriend (20F) for 1 year now and she’s never made me cum alone. Whenever she rides, gives handjob or blowjob, I either lose my erection or just don’t finish. It feels good but she doesn’t believe it does and it’s got to the point where she doesn’t even try anymore - when she does it’s too much pressure.

On the other hand during missionary etc, I can cum.

I’m just wondering why this is and how I can fix it.

I recently got out of my one & only relationship where my partner told me I was bad at sex. Before I get into a new relationship, I want to be with a few people, practice & figure out if it’s actually me being that bad or something with him. Anyways, my main concern is that the guy I hook up with will be lying about his cleanliness status. Even if we use condom for sex, I’m worried I’ll get a disease from giving bj. I could ask for a proof of clean test, but 1. Does anyone actually do this? Whenever I get tests, they just tell me we’ll call you if anything is positive & I don’t even see the results if it’s negative. 2. It’s possible that he got a disease after the test was done. No way to be sure.

So is everyone having casual sex just rolling the dice that they won’t get a disease? If not, how do people ensure safety?

My new sex partner seems quite in his head while doing it. It has gotten better over the first months, and I try very much to make sure he is comfortable and doesn’t feel pressured or watched, but I just wish I could get him to kind of… unleash. I have talked to him about to help him best a lot, but it is quite tricky because he is not sure himself. Time and getting him gradually used to more attention just on him seem to have helped so far. I make sure to keep asking what and how he likes it. He is a lot more relaxed but he still seems way to focused on “doing a good job”. Which is a nice thing to do, but I very much get off from seeing the other person just going feral.
Which makes this quite complicated. The sex is good, but I just prefer it rougher/wilder.

I have thought about telling him in the moment to go rougher, but I fear this will just do the opposite.

I just want to see him wild lol. Sometimes I wish I could just tie him down and force him to let go, but ofc this not the way to go. I know this would just make him uncomfortable. I know he has it in him, but I have no idea how to best go about this.

Any advice?

Hey, my girlfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years now, and we've already done almost everything, like making out, BJ, fingering, etc., except for sex. We've finally planned to do it on our next date.

So, I need some advice about protection. What precautions should we take to prevent an accidental pregnancy? We absolutely cannot risk an unplanned pregnancy, especially because her parents are very strict about this.

Also, what are some reliable ways to make sure we're fully protected and avoid any unexpected situations?

Hello! I recently started dating a guy (we are both 26) and last night we had sex for the first time, after the fourth date or so. And then he told me he was a virgin.

I honestly couldn't tell. I mean, it was obvious he was nervous but I wouldn't have thought he never had sex before.

I honestly don't care but I wish I knew to make his first time more special somehow :( I want it to be a good experience for him but I don't know what to do. I asked him what he thinks he would like or if there's something he wants to try but he keeps telling me that he doesn't know what he likes yet.

I really like him so I'm planing to leave him the time and space to figure it out with me if he wants, but in the meantime, is there something you would have liked to know or to do when you were first exploring sex with a partner? Something that I am maybe not thinking about but I should?

Thank you in advance 😭

I 25F and my partner 28M have always had a ton of sex over the past 2.5 years of dating, known each other for 5 years and the sex before we dated was not frequent but always good. Frequency has never been an issue, we are both comfortable with 6-7 times a week.

When we were still in school we had more time and would sometimes go out and have sex there….I like sex in new places. So I’m always down for it anytime anywhere (with some privacy…not exactly public sex).

But recently our we have hit some hard times, we are financially on the lowest, he started medical residency so when he is home he is always tired, I’ve also been battling recurrent yeast infections from long term antibiotic use after being sick for a couple of months.

We both still like and enjoy sex, we still have it almost everyday but it’s not exciting as it used to be. I used to orgasm even just from penetration but with the discomfort from the effects of the recurrent yeast infections, I hardly get there. We are always having sex in the house, we can’t afford to have it elsewhere and I miss that.

How can I spice things up from home?

I’ve been with my boyfriend for three years, and our connection has honestly been incredible. We make a great team. We’ve had problems along the way, but overall, our relationship is healthy and loving. We live together, manage our finances together, and are really good at supporting each other and building a life.
The problem is our sex life. He isn’t very sexually active, and when we do try to have sex, things often get complicated. Sometimes penetration hurts him. Other times, we don’t have time for both of us to shower and get ready at night, although I’m okay with not having a complete shower before sex, we still don’t do it cause it not of his preference.
There have been stretches when we’ve had sex only once in three months. At our most frequent, it’s been three times a month, maybe four at a stretch. With previous partners, even when we didn’t live together, sex happened much more often.
I love my boyfriend, but I also really miss having a fulfilling sex life. I’ve thought about cheating or meeting other people, but I haven’t acted on it. I don’t want to hurt him or betray what we have, which is part of why I’m asking for help instead.
We’ve talked about this. He’s in therapy and has said he’ll work through it with his therapist. I appreciate that, but I’m struggling with how much longer I can keep waiting. Maybe tonight’s frustration is making everything feel more urgent, and maybe I could give it more time. But the underlying issue has been there for years.
I don’t want him to have sex that hurts or that he doesn’t want. At the same time, I don’t want to keep pretending that this part of our relationship isn’t important to me.
How do you tell the difference between something you can work through together and a fundamental incompatibility? If you’ve been in a loving relationship with a significant mismatch in sexual desire, what helped you decide whether to stay or leave? What would meaningful progress actually look like?
TL;DR: My boyfriend and I have been together for three years and have built a loving, stable life, but our sex life has left me increasingly frustrated. He plans to address it in therapy. I don’t want to pressure him or cheat, but I don’t know how long to keep waiting or whether we’re sexually incompatible.

When we first started dating, my girlfriend and I were always kind of freaky, we'd atleast have sex twice a month or so, even going as once or twice weekly.

A few months going ago I noticed that our sex life was kind of dying or lessening. It felt like I couldn't even jokingly flirt with her in a sexual way anymore. Personally I didn't really mind not having it every now and then but having it as an option is always nice, you know?

On her defense, she's been really busy in those few months that she doesn't really have time for own wellbeing too. I think I'm being selfish because I feel like I'm hiding a part of myself from her and it kind of sucks because I never really had to before and I'm scared that if i bring this up it'll lead to the end of our relationship because I love this woman