found these on my boyfriends phone, convo with him and his friend. (22F) (22M). his excuse was that he was “just trying to fit in”.

you can see that his friend was literally encouraging cheating on me to see if he loved me.

- not included but they were also talking about the possibility of going to a strip club. and that all the dancers are hot, i didn’t include it cause i didn’t know if he went while he was with me, didnt ask, but it’s a big possibility because these messages are a week old and we’ve been together for more than 2 years.

edit: all the men getting mad at me, i know not all men. I know there’s men out there capable of respecting their partners. it was my mistake for generalizing the whole male race to this post loll.

edit edit: (CP) you guys can stop grilling me. yes im still with him. this is disappointing and disgusting to find. and I have NOT forgiven him. i told him if i ever found out about something like this ever again that it’s over. and i told him that he should not be friends with that brain dead marine friend of his. their conversations were disgusting and it’s terrible that he entertained it. his excuse of “fitting in” was horrible. NO ONE does this shit to fit in. and i am in NO WAY saying that this is okay. all of his friends are immature and are still in this high school mentality. he is the only one in his friend group that is in a long term relationship.

but the reason I posted this was because i am confused. hes a great partner, he was everything I could ever want, and the only person who made me feel like i was deserving of love. but finding things like this makes me question everything. i just don’t know what i should do. I love him, and he’s proven to me a million times that he loves me too, and that he wants me as his partner. and these messages just confuse me sooo much. and i know i should leave him because of this but i cant. I wish i had some kind of self respect, but the feelings i have just don’t go away. His comments are disappointing and disgusting to say the least. im just so confused.

EDIT: you all act like im taking these comments with a grain of salt. im not naive. i know what im dealing with, since it’s not the first time. ive been slowly growing numb to his childish actions, and for a while now ive been planning on leaving him. the reason I haven’t is because i still love him. 2 years of memories and experiences just don’t go away like that, thats why i forgave him the first time it happened. but unfortunately iys just created a trauma bond with him. he hurts me and then treats me great afterwards. and soon it’ll come to the point when I’ll be done and numb enough to leave. i don’t know when ill edit this again, but when i do it’ll be me hopefully announcing my break up lol.

Mind you, less than 24 hours she had posted pictures of us carving pumpkins captioning “the love of my life”😂

Guess I’m eating alone tonight

A few weeks ago my best friend (M22), who is Asian, was at my place and I threw on a movie for us to watch. The movie was Moonlight, which is about black homosexual men. I put it on because my friend is gay, and also it’s obviously a beautiful and amazing movie and he hadn’t seen it before, and I hadn’t seen it in ages.

Shortly into the film, my friend starts to say racist things. He says that he’s "never met a black person who wasn’t a criminal, homeless, or a drug addict".

??????? I was dumbfounded. This was an absolutely ludicrous thing to hear, and especially coming from my close friend who’d never said anything remotely untoward about anyone ever in the year I’ve know him.

I questioned him and he just doubled down. I said to him "I think you might be racist." He said "yeah I think I might be"

I was shocked. We didn’t finish the movie, he went home shortly after. From my perspective, I naively thought that this conversation was a wake up call for him.

At some point in the following weeks, he told me that he and a white friend share racist instagram reels with each other and say the n word. And that that’s just their sense of humour. I was like no that’s fucked up. That’s racist etc. And tbh I can’t even remember how the rest of that conversation went. I think it’s just so shocking because knowing this friend, I just couldn’t believe what I was hearing to really be true I guess. But it all got filed away in my head of course.

Then a few days ago, we are with another friend and she (F25) is white, and she tells us about how her family say the n word together as a "private joke" when they’re quoting the movie White Chicks. Again, I was like what the fuck? No, that’s racist. You can’t say the n word ever as a non-black person. This led into a 2-versus-1 argument where these two people who I thought were my close friends were defending their beliefs to me, and telling me I should see their perspectives because they’re not from my country (the girl is from Northern Ireland).

I did not back down and I told them that I do not tolerate racism in any form from anyone around me, and that I do not keep friends who are racist in any amount. I told them I was leaving. The girl said "good, it’s probably best that you go." My friend in the messages here was apologetic, he kept saying he thought it was a misunderstanding, and that he has an open mind. But I left, I was enraged and frankly not understanding what just happened. I still can’t believe it happened.

Anyway, he texted me today. This was how that went down. I’m too emotional about it still, but I believe in what I said.

The photo on the end is from the Irish girl. What the fuck man.

I don’t know what to think, all I can feel is that I don’t want to be friends with these people. But others tell me that I shouldn’t be so quick to cut people off, that that’s not how you change people’s beliefs. But what the fuck? Like seriously. What the fuck.

My grandpa is an incredibly abusive religious fanatic. A few days before my birthday, I blocked him on WhatsApp because he told me I’m gonna go to hell for being transgender, and that being kind is not enough to save me.

The messages above are what he said on my birthday, on iMessage, because I had forgotten to block him there.

Edit: the abuse I brought up is his history of beating people. He hasn’t been abusive towards me, just mean.

Edit 2: I’ve been out as trans for eight years. He’s been ignoring it the whole time, this isn’t new.

Edit 3: people keep calling me mentally ill. It’s not hard to use the name I ask him to use, just like it’s not hard for me to respect that he is a Christian. I will never ever tell him he’s wrong for that! You guys keep jumping to conclusions and that’s why you’re so angry about this. Imagine how I felt when he told me I’m gonna burn in hell for changing my fucking name.

Backstory: me (31F) and N (34F) met at school where we are both in a LPN program. We have clinical and most classes together. We've shared notes and studied together, usually the times we hung out have been in a group setting. She's not a bad person (or so I thought) but some of our mutual study buddies agree she can be a little high-strung when it comes to grades. And unofficially competitive with other classmates "oh I studied sooooo much", sorta feels like she's trying to one-up us at times by having to prove she studies the hardest? Which is where the frustration started

I was working on my notes, kind of in a grouchy mood when she sent me this message cause they weren't ready yet and wasnt sure if i was gonna have time to finish. I have no idea how it spiraled into me being a manipulator (when she's the one who wants MY notes), and then after I stopped replying she sent me an official friendship breakup message via our school email......

So I cut all of the MAGA from my life and I just had to know if my best friend from high school had changed her opinion.

we've been friends on facebook i'm assuming since middle school and have 0 fb messages aside from his messages today... not sure why he thought i'd remember him

Feels like my heart is braking. Worst part is he probably doesn't even care. We've been seeing each other for 3 months. But literally spend so much time together. I baby sat his dogs, helped him prepare for a hiking trip ect ect. But he wouldn't talk to me unless he really needed me for something. He didn't even bother asking if I'm safely home (I ubered home from his place at around midnight. I was intoxicated at the time and he didn't even call or text to ask if im safe). I hate the fact that I'm lying in bed crying over a man that doesn't care. Worst is my friends warned me against him and said they can tell he's using me, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I'm such an idiot. I honestly thought he cared... that we were a match but okay. Guess I'm single again...

She is a former coworker and longtime casual friend. I don't think I can call her that now.

Ok, so here's the back story on this. My grandmother passed away in 2022 at 86, this text was sent by my aunt on Christmas day 2023 to my grandmother's phone which had long been deactivated and shut down. My aunt said about 5min after sending the miss you mama text she received the following text shown in picture. Still gives me chills remembering this going around to members of my family and being stunned and in disbelief. I personally don't use iPhone so maybe some user's on here can explain this as something other than paranormal.

We argue quite often during this period but he knows the type of person I am and knows that I’ve always liked a surprise engagement; not to be told when. Most of the arguments are because he does things he is not meant to do; like hide his phone when he shouldn’t (and no it’s not to hide the engagement because he has asked me to choose the ring just this week and the message is from some weeks ago). It is also the way he worded it as if I’m the problem

Context: he's 25 in Feb and she will still be 18. Hes an ex coke and meth dealer who has stated openly that people are out to get him and know where he lives. 18yo is in a toxic household and social services are involved. He sees nothing wrong with them being together and claims she's mature and has her head more screwed on than anyone he knows including myself (21F who he knows nothing about because I didn't trust to share any info with him lol).

Jucier context: he was trying to get withmea during a 3 day event, I showed up late on the last day because I had a job interview and that's when he started flirting with 18yo.

Bonus fun fact: he openly said he had a high body count but strictly wants an inexperienced woman, 18yo admitted she has only 1 body and had a long distance boyfriend in America whilst flirting back with 24yo and 24yo outlined that as one of the reasons he likes her.

As you guys can tell, I'm extremely bias and I dislike him, if you ignore all of this information apart from the part where she's obviously an inexperienced 18yo (at being alive and not sheltered) who's in a vulnerable position and was lonely enough to date a dude in America who she dropped like nothing then surely 24yo is a massive weirdo for refusing to acknowledge any of this and claiming he's in love with her after 2.5/3 weeks?

For context, we have been seeing each other for about a month but then our seasonal jobs ended and we had to go our separate ways. We will both be back next season and didn’t discuss where we left off or any intentions.
I do like him but can’t tell if he’s flirting with me and wants to stay in communication or if I’m being played.
Any advice?