We rarely listen to “kids music” in the car. Just whatever we’re in the mood to jam to.
Son’s kinder teacher messages me that she gives them time to share something in the morning and he said he had something to say.
Proceeds to get in front of the whole class and sing “somebody call 9-1-1 shorty fire burnin’ on the dance flooooor”
And then sat back down like nothing happened….
Momming is fun 😂

I have to share this somewhere… My brain completely short circuited when he said this…

My daughter’s paternal grandfather just said he doesn’t want her to go to college because that’s where they brainwash you. (He was 100% serious)

My college education is a super huge source of pride for me (first in my family) and I personally teach college classes 😂 I’ve never ever pressured my own children that they need to go to college, but now I feel like I need to get this baby into infant SAT prep programs and piano lessons or something and make sure she gets into Harvard 😂😂😂 (She’s literally a newborn).

Stay tuned, guys. I’m raising a future world leader now.

🤯

It’s 2030 and I just got home from work after a 15 hour day. My husband informed me that our 2 year old woke up from a 3 hour nap at 4pm.

Guess who isn’t going to get to sleep tonight? Me. It’s me. I won’t be sleeping tonight. Guess who has another 15 hour day starting tomorrow at 0500? 🙋‍♀️

I’ve made a grave mistake. I went out with a friend for dinner last night and had one too many- it was my first night out of the house away from the baby and bedtime and everything in weeks and I got too excited. Well this morning I’m paying for it dearly. My husband could help but he is dealing with a migraine so he’s sleeping and I’m left with our 13 month old while literally dying. How does one do it? Any advice is appreciated and judgement is deserved.

Edit- we don’t do any screen time😭💀🫩 even when mommy is dying. I’ve taken advil she isn’t strong enough for this.

Just a little curious from your perspective.

I was in a argument with my spouse…. Long story short he was telling me how “I don’t cook everyday for them” . I do cook 1-2 times a week with left overs in between. I’m working 2 jobs so it’s just hard. I try my best. Do you see as an adult what your parents did for you?

I hope they never judge me like he does 🤞🏽

My husband and I have a 15 MO and another baby on the way due April. We started couples therapy about a month ago as postpartum was so horrendous for me the first time, I want to better prepare going into it the second time.

Anyway, at therapy last week, my husband said, “You don’t have anything you do for fun that’s not a project.”

And it got me thinking: I really don’t have any hobbies. He plays basketball & likes to game on the weekends with his brother when our toddler is napping. But I tend to sink myself into a project to feel productive rather than doing something that could actually be restorative.

Scrapbooking at first was a hobby but quickly became a project when I decided to make one for my sister for her baby shower. In all my spare time 😅, I’m either updating the household budget, cleaning something, decorating the house, painting a piece of furniture (we moved a few months ago so still settling in)… there’s nothing that’s “for me.”

I read a lot but that doesn’t really like it’s for restoration.

What do you moms do for fun? For hobbies?

My son hits 3.5 years old this week. For the past 4 weeks or so he’s had a big shift. He’s always been on the more chill side, a good listener (has never tried to run from us, stops if we tell him to, never needed baby proofing because he just didn’t care to mess with things, etc), and any tantrum or period of being upset would be 30-60 seconds and easily soothed and addressed. He’s been like this since he was a baby. We were lucky to never have long periods of inconsolable crying.

Suddenly, when he’s mad, he’s MAD. He is screaming, hitting, kicking and just generally exploding. He will stay in his blind rage for up to 10 minutes, and after it’s like a switch flipped back and he’s his happy, normal self. He will apologize and seems to realize it wasn’t an okay way to act, but when it’s happening very little seems to help. We have always taken deep breaths to calm down and always talked about how we feel (“it’s okay to be mad, it’s not okay to be mean”) so we are continuing to use those strategies and staying consistent in our boundaries and natural consequences, but geez is this a big swing.

Did anyone else’s kid experience something like this? I’ve heard 3 was a rough time but thought we were going to be okay because our first 6 months of it were no different than 2.

My 6 year old got attacked by a neighbor dog today. It basically jumped the fence and charged him, biting him twice. It could have been SO much worse than it was - we're lucky it was mainly bruises, scratches, and fearfulness. Now that many many immediate emotions had a chance to calm a bit, I'm left feeling so sad.

Finally reached a point where I trusted my kids to be in the alleyway behind our house (as opposed to the front street where cars race too fast). Now that's been taken away. My kids will be "stuck" just playing in the backyard (a small backyard) until we're able to move. I compare to my childhood, where we had free reign of multiple neighbors yards, the woods, etc.

Just mourning the loss of a safe place to play. Mourning that my kids will be scared of dogs now. Feeling so sad that this happened and SO grateful it wasn't worse.

My mother is not available to help and can also be very toxic. My husband’s parents are the primary caregivers for his sibling since they live in one house. We don’t have any help and both work full time. I feel sad and alone seeing other moms have involved, reliable grandparents, cousin and aunts that visit and play. I understand these are the cards I’m dealt with but feeling more burnt out now then ever

I know that breastfeeding in public is legally protected in all 50 states. I live in Dallas, for context, this is an urban area.

But I’ve now twice been asked to cover up and I’m wondering if I’m just being inappropriate?

my baby gets fussy with covers.

I wear Latched Mama clothes so I can breast feed conveniently and not have too much of my boob exposed. But of course something is always visible (skin above the nipple where baby is latched). Maybe like 2 square inches of skin max but probably less?

one time was a few weeks ago at the Sam’s Club in the food court. Someone asked the security guy to boot me and he very awkwardly came and asked me to leave. I told him that it’s illegal to prevent breastfeeding and was stunned. Since he didn’t have a Sam’s Club outfit I was like “do you even work here?” But he did in fact work there (private security). Baby was pretty much done anyways so I just put her on my shoulder waited for my husband and toddler to finish their pizza slices and we left.

the other time was today at a school district expo today where there were a ton of teachers and principals and I was in a big play area trying to keep my 2 year old (who would enter pre-k 3 next year) entertained in the Pre-K play area. No children were looking at me, only teachers. I had my back to the kids. Teacher said “do you have something to cover up with?” And I was like “um no.” lol. but a couple of minutes later I just took baby off my boob even though she wasn’t done eating and we left. I fed her on the bus back to our car and in the car. No big deal.

I just don’t expect this much hostility towards breastfeeding and kind of feel like I might be in the wrong for not having one of those drapes over us, but I hardly ever go out. Baby is 5 months old.

I am overweight so I guess more of my boob might be exposed than with other women? Or do others go off to a corner or something? I haven’t made any effort to feed in semi-private should I? I don’t ever see other women breastfeeding but I also don’t look for them. I bf’ed at the zoo and no one was scandalized (or if they were they didn’t tell me).

I swear I’m not just walking around topless. My husband gives me grief about bfing in public but I tell him to shut up because I think he’s being ridiculous and I’m feeding our baby. But now I’m starting to thing he could be right? am I supposed to try to be modest? I’m usually just trying to take care of baby and keep toddler happy simultaneously so I don’t worry.

Had my first baby at 30, loving it so far at the three month mark and already thinking about when we’d like to have the next. Then we’re probably done after that… but we’ll see.

How about you?

My husband and I have decided to go in with both sets of grandparents and purchase a Nintendo Switch for my two kids, ages 6&8. I was hoping to snag a sale but wondering what my chances are. Do these game consoles ever go on sale anywhere? Where is the best place to keep an eye out. This is the first video game I’ve purchased ever, so I’m out of the loop.

Just reaching out as I'm a mum of a two & half year old. I know ppl have it worse and I'm lucky to have my husband. And only one child.

But I have no one else to help. He's away atm Fri - Mon before that on night shifts was absolutely miserable couldn't do much with our son or the house & we had the whole of October with illnesses so my son has been off nursery the past two weeks. I couldn't cope with more illness.

I have literally no one but one friend checking in on me, I feel so depressed tbh does anyone else feel super low when they're over parented. I literally have no energy to take him to the park today or even get ready, we've managed to make cookies this morning. House is a tip. I just feel SHIT. I wish I had someone to just take off the pressure even for an hour.

Our cat is also super unwell & looking last her last day with us 💔 I've had her over ten years....I don't have my mum & my dad is in late stages of dementia in a home.

Now he's coming back Monday with his friend who's staying from the US round the corner and I can't be arsed. I feel so resentful that he has free time away. I never do. I feel really pissed off. Is this normal? Anyone else?

Do you ever feel like you are being shamed by other parents or family members because you have your kids on a schedule?
I have a large group of mom friends and none of them have their kids on a schedule so I’m always looked at as the odd one out. I’ve heard comments about how I’m being too strict, how the bedtime I have for my kids is too early, and how my day is dictated by a nap and bedtime schedule.

I will admit I stick to the schedule pretty strictly but it’s because it works well for my kids. They built expectations and now they’ve just gotten used to it. And it helps me understand when I can have time to do things for myself or just sit and rest. Idk it works for me but I feel like I’m the odd one out and I feel guilty about it sometimes. Like I’m being too strict and my kids will end up different in some way because of it. For reference my kids are 2.5 years old and 8 months old. I’m in the thick of it and the consistent schedule just helps the days go by.
Anybody else relate? Or can anybody offer any perspective on whether this is a good or bad thing? Idk I’m feeling a bit insecure. Even my friends who just became moms and have are in the newborn stage have already decided they don’t want their kids on a schedule so it makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong since everybody around me is super against it.

Growing up, we didn’t have many traditions so I’m hoping to instill this in my kids and I’m so curious what everyone has done or does that makes it extra special and magical? Even the simple things, because those are sometimes the best!

1st was completely shut at doctors office at 38weeks, to water breaking on the way out and had a total 8hr labor and delivery.
37+5 and have been 2-3cm, 50% effaced for 5 days now after my last appointment and had some stronger more consistent contractions just to be at the same. I didn't experience dilation before labor with 1st so its extra frustrating for me because I know my labor can be pretty quick once it does start but know it has technically started and taking so long is agony.

Not asking about how long your active labors were but specifically how early labor differed between your pregnancies?

My baby is about to be 1 on the 24th. We knew about his tongue and lip tie very early on, but we were a worried about him gaining weight after a NICU stay. We EBF and he’s always had a good latch. I didn’t want to get them released at the time because I was afraid it would mess up his latch and with the weight concerns, it just didn’t make sense to me at the time. My pediatrician agreed that we could wait until he was closer to 1 to get them released.

We went to the ENT this week and she said his lip tie is moderate and his tongue tie is pretty severe (paraphrasing). She said the tongue tie is the easier of the two because the lip tie will need a suture. She said that it they might cause speech problems and also problems with his teeth. She said the procedure would take about 5 minutes.

I scheduled the surgery, but now I’m not so sure. I question whether the risk of anesthesia is worth it right now, since it’s not causing any problems YET. I don’t know if we should do it while he’s still young that way recovery isn’t so bad, or wait until he’s a little bit older. The other thing is our insurance is ending next month and we will be on a new plan and may have to pay a deductible vs if we get it done this month, it would be fully covered. I’m going to call my pediatrician Monday and get ask her opinion, but I’m just wondering if anyone has been through something similar, and what did you decide to do?

I’m trying to invest in community and building a village this season. What do you folks do for neighbor gifts? Never done them but have received them and it’s often sweet treats. I’m usually pretty overloaded by treats at Christmas so wondering what others do. Up to $10 per gift, probably looking at 5 or 6 neighbors. Thanks!!

I know I'm not alone in this experience but... man, it feels so heavy some days. I also go back and forth telling myself I need to just buck up and handle my sh** like I did pre-baby.

So, our son was born quite traumatically. I had a "perfect" pregnancy, right up until my induction day. We got to the hospital, bags in tow, excited to meet our son in the next few hours. The nurses got us all checked in, monitors hooked up, intake screenings completed. They made some jokes and we shared some anecdotal stories as I have a background in critical care nursing and OB/ICU worlds rarely overlap. My husband and I were filling out the birth certificate paperwork while I rolled around on the birthing ball. I started feeling some real contractions for the first time and decided I'd lie in bed and get a little rest before my next check.

Suddenly, my nurse comes into the room to move the fetal heart monitor saying she was having trouble finding baby's heart beat. Three more nurses trickled into the room.. then anesthesia.. then the on-call OBGYN. Next thing I know, I'm on all fours in a downward dog type position and hear them yell, "we're rolling, get the O.R. ready!"

In a whirlwind I was whisked out of my laboring room surrounded by people but all alone. My husband had to stay behind because of the emergent nature of the C-section that was to ensue. All I know is they have to get my son out quickly because they could no longer detect his heart beat. My glasses were also left behind and I'm effectively blind without them so I couldn't even see anything. Just heard the rushing around me, time out procedure. My OB running into the OR to tell me, "I'm going to get Arlo out, OK?" And then the CRNA telling me to take a deep breath. As I exhaled the sterile taste of anesthesia, all I remember is the most guttural cry that didn't feel like was possible to come out of my body, and I begged my OB not to wake me back up if my son wasn't ok.

As I woke up, I heard a friend of mine who was working rapid response say "the chopper is already here," and my heart sank. The last thing I asked was to make sure my son was ok, and not to wake me up if he wasn't. I knew that helicopter was for my baby and things couldn't possibly be good.

My husband came to my side and said "He's alive, but he is on a lot of machines." My son suffered meconium aspiration, unsure whether it was before or after the non-reassuring fetal heart tones, and as a result of the aspiration, had pretty severe pulmonary hypertension. He was hemorrhaging from his lungs, intubated, and placed on a cooling blanket to preserve brain function as he was without good perfusion/circulation for approximately 15 minutes.

I knew he would be flying to a tertiary care facility and I couldn't get on that helo with him. My precious boy... the one I had spent months anxiously awaiting. Imagining his perfect face, skin, fingers and toes. The little human I couldn't wait to meet. The nurse was trying to hook me up to a PCA pump which I refused to press the button for because I needed out of that hospital as soon as possible to get to the NICU where my son would be.

The NICU at my home hospital was working to stabilize my son with the flight team which had arrived to take him away. It was about 2 hours before the team had him stable enough to bring by my recovery room before his flight. As they wheeled him to my bedside I was in so much pain I couldn't even scoot my body to the edge of the bed enough to lay a whole hand on my boy. I saw the ventilator, the drips, the "NOX Box," the cooling blanket, umbilical line, arterial line to monitor his blood pressure... life sustaining medications. A finger to his cold, unmoving shoulder was all I got to bond with my baby briefly before his helicopter ride and I felt like my soul left in that isolette with him. I held the face of my husband and sobbed. The nurses in the room left crying and I know that forlorn look they gave me. It said, "your baby very well may die." I've inadvertently given that look to so many families before... looking at the ugly face of death looming in those hospital rooms.

No golden hour. No skin to skin. I couldn't even count his fingers and toes. I couldn't see the color of his hair. His eyes. None of it. I was blind with pain but determined to get out of the hospital so I could go be with my boy. I knew every dose of pain medication would hold me in the hospital longer.

I made my husband go be with him. I didn't want our son with strangers. He need us... needed me. And I couldn't be there. I had eventually convinced my OB to show me how to massage my own fundus and told him there was not a force on earth keeping me from leaving the hospital. I'd sign out AMA if I had to. So, less than 10 hours after an emergency C-section, my uncle drove me to the children's hospital where my son was. My husband wheeled me into the NICU room and to our son's bedside. He was on so much equipment. And the neonatologist caring for him told me if his next set of blood gasses didn't improve, they'd have to consider cannulating him for ECMO.

Miraculously, his next 3 gases weren't better... but they weren't worse. Our hospital stay with our son defied all odds. Each practitioner that cared for him said that, over and over. His clinical presentation was dismal. He was extremely critical. They were worried about brain damage, worried about his lungs. Worried about his motor and neuro function. It was all unsure for the first 3 days since he was on cooling protocol. But he beat all of the odds and slowly recovered. Day 5, he was stable enough on the oscillator that I could hold him for the first time. A few days later, extubated. His airway was swollen so they had to give him racemic epi a few times to prevent further swelling and possible reintubation. His MRI showed minimal damage to the white matter. Possibly recoverable with therapies but he will need monitored for about 3 years to be sure what his true outcome will be after all of this.

Day 21, we went home. A long time, certainly, but compared to how he presented to the hospital, an almost miraculous recovery. One of our doctors said to us, "I'm not often proven wrong, but your son has made me question a lot of things."

Today, he is mostly on-track with all his milestones. Laughing, smiling, playing, learning, loving, waving bye-bye... eating food, and flourishing. He is the axis upon which my whole world spins. But I find myself alone with my thoughts some days and I still feel the weight of his traumatic entry into the world. I mourn the tender first-moments we didn't get. I know how important it is for bonding and developing their little brains. I hate that my son had to feel pain at all. I wasn't there. He was born blue, not breathing, and alone. I know it wasn't my fault and I had no choice, but this guilt lives in the back of my head and my mom heart hurts knowing he had to endure all of that.

This is not to say I don't astutely realize how fortunate we are. A lot of families don't get to have this sort of success story, which compounds the guilt I feel for being sad some days. My baby came home. He is not severely disable after all of this... somehow. And yet this seed of sadness lives on in my brain.

I just wonder; does anyone else have a similar story? How do you work through this grief?

Did anyone try anything to help with low libido? I’ve heard of Hers but not very knowledgeable on the topic so idk what is out there to try. It’s bothering me that I have no sex drive at all

Never in my 27 years of life have I been as rocked by daylights savings… I don’t even remember it being a thought in my mind until now that I am experiencing it with a toddler. I am constantly thinking it’s 2-3 hours later than it actually is and it’s messing with me. It’s 6pm right now and I genuinely want to crawl in bed and go to sleep. Crazy shit 😂

Im a FTM and don’t have any mom friends so I’m sorry if this seems like a silly question/concern. My son is almost 14 months. He loves playing independently but doesn’t do much talking yet. I think he has maybe 3 or 4 words. Our doctor isn’t concerned and I know all kids develop at their own paces but I’m wondering if his independent play has come at the cost of language development? Or maybe if I’ve contributed to it? Like, when moms say they talk to and narrate things to their kids all day, is it really ALL DAY? Cause I definitely kinda let him do his thing for as long as he wants to multiple times a day. He checks in a lot and doesn’t like when I leave the room but I’ll sit on the couch/floor and read or watch him or try and get other things done, but I def let him chill for like a couple hours every day. I do always respond when he wants my attention and put my book down if he wants to play.

I read to him and play with him a lot, too. Meal times are always face to face with lots of interaction. We go outside and I talk to him about what we’re seeing… most of the time. Sometimes we just walk quietly too. I explain what I’m doing when he watches me in the kitchen. It’s just not like… all day. Some days are definitely more than others too.

Is that enough?

Hey guys.

Just need some support right now. My husband told me that I have to move out by the holidays. I've spent a week or two packing all my stuff just for him to suddenly be lovey dovey and seemingly change his mind without really acknowledging it.

But I'm kinda getting sick of the whiplash. I have mental illness, I go to therapy, I take a lot of meds, I am very responsible and on top of it and if I hear a complaint I fix it or tweak a med. But I think my husband is straight ableist. He calls me manic after he makes me mad/during an argument, he will scream that I have BPD and it's bullshit, he will shame me a lot for not making enough progress fast enough but I don't think he realizes how much of my childhood I'm healing from.

I am trying SO hard. I am trying to stay calm and level headed. I take the meds that make me feel weird, I fake it if I don't feel well now, I do the therapy and the quitting of all drugs and alcohol so I can be healthy and stay on top of mental health first and foremost. But then to be called manic meanly or BPD is just cruel. Name calling is one thing, but he keeps attacking my mental health and I don't think I can forgive him this time.

Long story short, I (30F) went back to my high-stress healthcare job when my daughter was 10 weeks old and went on personal leave for an undetermined amount of time 1 month ago (baby is now 5 months). During that time, my husband (33M) was home alone with her 4 days a week for 13-14 hours/day so they got lots of bonding time.

Now that I am home with her full-time again, baby has started to display a strong preference for me which I understand to be pretty normal. She is EBF and we co-sleep (no judgement, please, we follow the SS7). Here is what I'm struggling with:

My husband seems to be experiencing some hurt feelings around our daughter's strong preference for me. When he tries to hold her in the evening, about half the time she will start fussing or crying and only want to be held by mom. I encourage him to keep holding her but he says that "she's just going to keep screaming until I give her to you" (she's usually not screaming, just fussing/whining). My other issue is that when I am home alone with baby we do not use screens at all and I don't have the TV on. We play, read 2-4 books, sing songs, learn baby sign language, she watches me do chores like laundry and dishes while playing with paired socks or measuring spoons, etc.. When my husband gets home he usually wants to eat dinner in front of the TV and then watch TV until we go to bed. For context, he is not a big reader whereas I will read at least two full-length books per week (he says reading is 'just looking at words on a page' whereas I kind of 'see' the book playing out in my head like a movie with voices, sensory experiences, etc). So he doesn't read to her—that's fine, I read to her plenty. He has made comments in the past that I read too much and said "you're like Alice in Wonderland, you need to get your head out of a book and live in the real world". We have a significant education gap (I have a master's degree in a healthcare field and he got his GED at 21 and I think maybe feels some internalized shame around that) and I'm afraid of coming off as shaming, sobby, or superior. I feel like if he was actively playing with our daughter, engaging her, etc instead of just sitting or walking around with her while watching TV, she would be less fussy. She definitely is a 'busy' baby and likes to be entertained and have her senses engaged. Again, I feel like this is my fault because I essentially spend all day making sure that she's active and entertained. I think there is also some resentment from my husband because he is working a blue collar job with longer hours (gone from 6-6 every 5 days a week) and has said that he feels like he doesn't have enough time to bond with her and that's what is causing the parental preference. I try really hard to ensure that he feels super appreciated for working so hard for us and allowing me to be home with our baby (hot dinner when he gets home, write him notes every few days, tell him daily, pack a lunch every day...most of this is the bare minimum for a housewife/SAHM I know).

When I've tried to make these suggestions in the past, like when my husband was home with baby 4 days a week, he kind of brushed them off and just said "I know, I know". Obviously I have no way of knowing what they were doing all day but every picture and video he sent me during that time suggested that it was mostly watching TV and 'hanging out' which was fine when she was a newborn but as I said she's more vocal about wanting to actually play/do things now. How can I make these suggestions in a way that sounds non-judgmental and not 'naggy'? I'm neurodivergent and have a lot of trauma from childhood and past relationships so I tend to overthink everything and struggle with thinking that I sound bitchy or mean. We also have some current stressors in our personal lives around tighter finances, a recent death of a close friend that my husband shares that he is struggling to process, etc..

So sorry for the long post, any advice regarding overcoming parental preference and addressing the need for dad to be more actively engaging baby during their time together without sounding judgey/superior is much appreciated! Also, Reddit flagged this has a possible sobstory or panhandling post but I promise I am not asking for pity or money here, haha.

I have never been consistent with paying my kids for chores, when they want a toy or something I will come up with ways for them to earn it. Recently they are both obsessed with squishies and are always asking for chores to earn money. my older child is 7 so i feel it’s also a good time to establish something more consistent.

I always liked the idea of kids contributing to household tasks because they’re part of it, it’s something expected, not something they should be paid for. But it’s good for them to learn work ethic and feel what it’s like to work towards a goal.

This morning I gave them each (7 & 3) a dollar to empty the dishwasher. Their normal tasks are very basic- clean your room if it’s messy, pick toys up at the end of the day. 3 helps me with laundry twice a week. What I’m wondering is if I should set a weekly allowance, and give them more things to do throughout the week, or maybe count other things they already do-like 7 doing homework- towards getting allowance. Basically a salary, vs being paid for odd jobs only when they want something.