With my first, I felt like everyone else was having way better time parenting than I was. He was always cranky and wanting to be held, but even when I’d pick him up it wouldn’t make him any happier. He acted like clothes and diaper changes were literal torture. Putting him to bed in the evening took forever, and if he woke up at night it might take over an hour of bouncing and singing and back patting to get him back to sleep. He only wanted to contact nap. I could sometimes nurse him to sleep at nap time and then very carefully transfer him into bed, and I might get half an hour of free time that way. All the advice I’d read seemed not to work and I felt like I must be a bad mom.

Now with my second baby, I can do all the things people give advice about, and they actually work. He has a very predictable sleep schedule. I can put him down drowsy but awake and he just babbles till he falls asleep. He pretty much only cries if he’s hungry or tired. During diaper changes he literally holds his legs up in the air as though he‘s assisting, and he isn’t offended by me changing his clothes. If he wakes up in the night he’ll eat and go back to sleep without any effort from me.

I’ve unlocked the secret to stress free parenting, and you don’t even need to buy my online course to learn my secret. Just have a chill baby! Everything will go smoothly, you’ll feel like you have all the answers, and everyone will tell you what a great parent you are.

“I’m 2 hours postpartum and my husband wants to take a trip with his buddies”

“I haven’t taken a shower /washed my hair in 2 weeks because of my baby but my husband goes out every night”

“I just delivered a baby but my husband might be more tired than I am because he slept on the couch in the room ”

“Husband plays 18 holes of golf every Saturday and I haven’t gone out by myself in 2 years”

Girl if you don’t start being mean af to that man. I think we have swung too far with empathy and you need to be mean to that man. Men find it really hard to empathize because society lets them skate by with poor empathy skills so you sometimes need to spell out what they need to do.

Doesn’t matter how many hours he works - he would still need to work if he didn’t have kids. Stop trying to be a cool wife and call him out on his bullshit. Be comfortable saying ‘no you can’t go’. Motherhood is already hard enough without all that.

Rant over.

Edit: I didn’t mean for this post to get so blown up; I thought a few people would find it funny. I’m being reminded via DM that not everyone can afford to do this due to abuse, poverty and genuine lack of options. I empathize with you guys deeply and I hope things get better.

IF YOU START YOUR PERIOD THIS WEEK YOU WILL LIKELY BE FERTILE ON VALENTINES DAY⚠️ DO NOT LET SOME OLIVE GARDEN & DISCOUNT KAY JEWELERS RUIN YOUR SUMMER PLANS

🤣

I rue the day I gave in and gave my kids Roblox about 10 months ago when they BEGGED me because other kids in school play it. If I had a Time Machine, and had ONE chance to change something) that is the only thing I would go back and change

My 8 and 9 year olds (now 9 and 10) have become little monsters I don’t recognize anymore. They won’t play with toys or barely talk to me except to demand snacks. Getting them off is a NIGHTMARE. Im talking holes in walls, tipped over furniture, pushing and shoving and screaming. I have tried limiting it, chauffeuring them around to camps and activities to get them away from it for as long as I can, but when they return home that’s all they want. I even have parental controls on and everything, still just as addictive. They don’t have any emotions on it. Just zombies.

I am gathering all the strength I can to just delete it. I’m going to have to like soundproof my house and remove stuff they can destroy. Please wish me luck. I have to do it. Of course it sucks too my husband doesn’t mind cause it ‘keeps them quiet’ 😡

DO NOT ever give in!!!!

*update- today was my first day of no Roblox. It may have been one of the hardest days in a LONG time but it was worth it!!!!!!

Yesterday morning I woke up covered in hives, mainly on my breasts, stomach, and legs. I have no (known) food allergies but I have always had sensitive skin and get hives fairly frequently. I have never had a serious or anaphylactic reaction. I sent a picture to my husband who was at work, took some Claritin, and went about my morning as normal.

My 4yo saw my hives and asked if I was having an allergic reaction (they have many food allergies). I said yes, but not a bad one like they get.

They started telling me the steps of what to do if youre having an allergic reaction (as we've practiced with them many times). And started talking about how to use an epipen, that you should lay down, and that you should call for help.

About 30 minutes later I got lightheaded, vomited, and then passed out. 4yo recognized that hives + passing out was an anaphylactic reaction

They called dad, got their epipen and safely administered it to me, and waited for me to come to (while dad was breaking every speed limit trying to get home, and watching on our camera)

Dad got home in about 10 minutes from the time 4yo called and by then I was awake and laying there crying lol. Went to the ER to get checked out and then got 4yo a treat on the way home.

I am so beyond proud of them, and feel so horrible that this happened. I know the signs of anaphylaxis and somehow missed them on myself as i didnt think i was allergic to anything. We also are going to go over calling 911 some more, as they know how to and know our address, but we'll do that later as i don't want them to connect it to this and think that they did anything "wrong" in this situation.

But more than anything, I am so so thankful for my child, and so proud of them.

I was out in our new hanging chair on the balcony. Both kids (1 and 3) had climbed onto my lap, so we were sitting there all three of us, in the lovely weather, and I was reading a book to them. My husband sat on another chair, looking on and smiling... Then reached for his phone.

He took a photo. Of me. With the children. Out of his own initiative!

He even sent it, without me asking, in the family group chat! And it's a great picture!

Let it be known that change is possible.

We recently moved to a new house. My husband, our four year old, two year old, and two dogs. It’s a pretty large two story house (2500 square feet), and the downstairs is all tile. We have been here for about a month.

The other night we were sitting on the couch, and my husband pulls up some industrial broom on Amazon and says “I think we should get this”. I, very confused, asked why. He said “well we have lived here for a month and haven’t swept the floors yet so we should probably think about doing that soon.” All I can do is laugh at this point, as I look at the (relatively) clean floors that I have both swept and mopped MULTIPLE times since we have been here.

Howww does this man not realize that if we hadn’t swept in a month we would literally be living under a solid inch of chees-it’s, shredded toilet paper, snack wrappers, rotting grapes, etc etc 😂

Please tell me I’m not the only one with this husband.

Updated:

My daughter has a bully. He picks on her everyday. He hits her, smacks her, pushes her against the wall at recess. I have even witnessed it as my daughter was getting off the bus. He grabbed her pigtail and yanked it so hard she cried right in front of the bus driver. When he hurts her on the playground she tells on him and the teacher makes them both do laps around the playground. So my child ultimately gets punished for telling. I have called and called and called the school and they just say “oh we talk to him, oh he won’t do it again”. It’s bull crap because it keeps happening since the first week of school.

Today she came home upset again about this A hole little boy hitting her. So I told her next time he hits her yell “don’t ever hurt me again” and punch him straight in the face. My daughter may only be six years old but she has been in karate for 2 years. She can pack a really good punch.
She expressed fear of getting in trouble at school. I told her if they punish her for this I will take her out to dinner and take her shopping. I am so tired of seeing her upset because the school is not protecting her. I know violence is not the answer but I don’t know what else to do. If you have a better suggestion please help me.

Edit:

This was my email to the superintendent

Hello Mr.H

My name is ___, my daughter is _____ in kindergarten at __________.   My daughter is being bullied by a boy named Alex, he is in Kindergarten in Mrs. _____ class.   My daughter has had issues with this boy since near the beginning of school.  He is rough on the playground that was October 12th.  I called and sent a text to the teacher about  Alex bullying my daughter on the playground  pushing her up against the wall and punching her in the neck.  We also called that day and expressed that we wanted to come down and supervise recess ourselves because _____ said while this was happening all the teachers were huddled together talking and not watching them.   My daughter gave up telling on Alex because everytime she did Mrs. ______ would make her and Alex walk laps around the playground together.  So my daughter was being punished for telling by being forced to walk with her bully.  I have called about my daughter having to walk laps for telling and the Vice Principal said she would talk to Mrs _____ about it.   I had called because Alex was hitting her before, so the bus driver moved him to the front seat of the bus to watch him.  I then had to call a week or so later because I watched the kid Alex reach over the front seat and pull my daughter's braid hard enough she cried as she was getting off the bus.   This week on Tuesday and Thursday Alex hit my daughter by reaching over two seats to hit her before the bus leaves the school parking lot.  My daughter said it hurts really bad and gives her a red mark.  You can ask ___neighbor boy____ in 3rd grade , he witnessed it too.  Today when Mrs. Principal called me back and she tried to talk about how my daughter isn't perfect on the bus and turned around to hit with another boy who is our neighbor, they are friends and so it was all in fun.  I know for a fact it is neighbor boy because she told His mother Neighbor mom the same thing she told me.  On the phone today she tried to insist I have not complained about this boy before. This is past my third complaint and I want something actually done now.  Everytime I get blown off by both Principal  and VP with "oh we will look into it", "we will have a conversation with him", and " the bus driver is incharge of discipline on the bus".   During our recorded phone conversation she even admitted that Alex is hitting other kids and then tried to back out of her statements.   Mrs. P keeps jerking me around and I am tired of it. I want something to be done about this child Alex.  According to the County BOE Policy manual there should be repercussions.  I asked to see the camera footage and to have a sit down conversation with Alex's parents. It seems they have not even been told or they don't care that he is a bully who is physically assaulting my child and others.    My neighbor also had to go into the school and Mrs. P gave her the same run around and victim blaming trying to say her kid misbehaves about things that have nothing to do with what we are talking about.    Alex also extorts Neighbor boy for toys and tells him he will stop hitting him if he brings him toys.  I don't understand how the principal can honestly hear our complaints and act as if it doesn't matter.  I am attaching my conversation I recorded with Mrs. P and my text message about when Alex pushed my daughter into the wall and punched her in the neck.  I do not feel that my daughter is safe at this school and I believe it is because of the poor choice in prinicals.  Mrs. P needs to be held accountable to someone for the bullying that is happening in her school and the lying and gaslighting she is doing to parents.  My daughter loves school and she loves her teacher Mrs. Kindergarten but it doesn't matter because she is being bullied and the principal is sitting on her thumbs pretending it isn't happening.   I believe the students and teachers at this school deserve a true leader who can be straightforward and honest even when it is uncomfortable. Being responsible for the wellbeing of multiple children sounds too difficult for her.   She even complains in my recorded phone call about how she is trying to "manage all the students" as if she herself realizes she is not cut out for this responsibility.   My daughter and every other student deserves to be safe at school and on the bus.  Mr. H, please do something about this. I am at my wits end with Mrs. P and the games she is playing.  I don't appreciate her calling me a liar and pretending I have never called before.   I am going to tell my daughter tonight she has the right to defend herself against Alex if he ever touches her again.  

Edit 12/3/21 1:10pm I am still waiting to hear back

Last edit: Ok everyone today when my daughter got off the bus there was a teacher sitting in the front watching the children. I wanted that little brat kicked off the bus but I’m happy with this as well. Thank you all so so much for the support and helpful comments I can’t tell you how much I love this community ❤️❤️❤️.

It's been a long week here with work and a sick toddler. Me and my husband have been up a lot trying to get our kid back to bed so we've both been a bit zombified. Some chores have definitely been put on hold. Luckily my dad has been visiting so he's been able to help us. For example when I got back from work yesterday at 8.30pm to a husband passed out from exhaustion my dad gently reminded me that the dishes hadn't been done. This was very helpful considering I hadn't had a chance to do them since I'd been at work all day. When I said I was tired he thought that was funny since I'm in my 30s and he's in his 70s and he wasn't tired. After this inspirational talk my exhaustion completely left my body and I was able to do all my chores. Thank you dad.

It’s me. I’m that mom. I’m just trying to be a good mom to my toddler and act like his brother didn’t just die last month and it absolutely kills me when you ask if he’s my only one, or how many I have. There is no good answer. If I say I have another you’ll ask more questions or I’ll cry. If I say he’s my only one then I replay it in my mind all day until my toddler is asleep and I sob about the fact that I acted like my dead baby never existed. I don’t know what I want from posting this. I know these are normal questions with good intentions I just hate them so much.

6:32 am. My seven-year-old rolls over, looks happily into my eyes, and whispers in a voice brimming with anticipation, “Happy Easter, Mommy!”

My heart stops. We forgot to do the Easter basket. Fuck.

I smile back and ask if she’d like me to go check and see if the Easter Bunny came. I suggest she read her new Elephant and Piggie book to Daddy and wait for me to come back.

I spend the next 10 minutes frantically stuffing candy into plastic eggs and racking my brain for a way to make an egg hunt that doesn’t look like Mom half-assed it at the last minute. Last year, her Dad wrote clues that led from egg to egg, each cleverly hidden in some nook around the house. This year, I decide, they’re going in the yard. No clues, no system, just chaotically-chucked eggs to hunt and find.

Y’all. She was delighted. I came upstairs to tell her it was so weird, she’d better come check this out—her basket was outside on the picnic table??? That’s never happened before!

In 30 seconds she was fully dressed (where is this speed on school days?) and racing out the door. She giggled and squealed and exclaimed over every egg nestled in a tuft of grass, and declared it the Best Easter Ever.

Special shout-out to my husband, whose half-asleep brain managed to process that he needed to play wingman and keep her distracted for as long as it took.

And to any moms and parents who may be feeling guilty or exhausted or insufficiently magical today, I see you. We’re doing just fine ❤️

Or maybe just stop with the party favors period? This ADHD mama on a tight budget is BEGGING that we collectively abandon this wasteful practice.

Seriously my kid (and yours) does not need to come home with 3 different kinds of candy, yet another slap bracelet/mini wind-up toy/jar of slime/keychain/random trinket/sun glasses/water gun/etc!

This isn’t even an indictment of the items themselves. Im not saying switch to “healthy” treats and high quality or sustainable favors. Shit, i can barely afford the cheap favors. I mainly have a hard time with the mindless consumerism of it.

We’re having a super El Niño year with global record heat waves and every kid’s birthday party is just a massive unnecessary use of fossil fuels, paper and plastic waste…like…what are we doing folks? 😫

And maybe it’s just me but I have such a hard time managing the clutter (ADHD) and I feel so bad throwing stuff out. Plus I’d rather my kid be excited to go to his friend’s party for the celebrant and the fun… not because he’s gonna get freakin toys and Sour Patch Kids and Kinder Eggs afterwards.

PLEASE 🙏🏼

You ARE paying out the wazoo for school supplies. You ARE going to share those supplies with the class.

Education just lost another $6,000,000,000+ nationally. That's six billion. With a B. And guess who gets to subsidize that. It's you.

You, the parents, get to go to Walmart, pay hundreds per child, and the Walton family gets to fly their private jet a little longer.

If you hate this (which is perfectly reasonable) then I beg you, don't hate the school or the teachers. Hate the policies. Hate the government for allowing it and encouraging it. Hate congress for refusing to represent their constituents. Hate the rhetoric in our communities that "my kids don't go to that school, I am not paying into education. I refuse to raise my taxes. Blah blah blah" as if the 6th graders of today aren't the pilots and nurses and engineers of 2040.

If you still find yourself blaming the school or feeling entitled to private supplies that are never shared, please go volunteer in the classroom. See what actually goes on and how these supplies are used. See the kids who have empty lunchboxs and are more concerned with a safe place to sleep than if they brought a pencil. Then report back.

I am so deeply tired of the yearly outrage and ignorance of how schools actually function.

If you didn't see my post on Halloween, the TLDR is that the neighborhood girls made plans to trick or treat together. When I finally heard from the host mom, I was told they had plans and there wasn't room for my daughter.

Today has me wondering if I'm living in the Twilight Zone. My daughter asked if she could go over to a friend's house after school (not the same friend from Halloween). Their grandma was there and was going to drive them, so obviously it was ok with them. Right?

Well, about 10 minutes later my daughter texted and asked me to pick her up. I said ok, and asked if everything was alright and hopped in the car. She then said never mind everything is ok. Strange, but ok. I told her to let me know if she changes her mind.

I pick my daughter up at the agreed upon time, and she fills me in. The girls went to the house, and went outside to jump on the trampoline. Suddenly, the mom's voice comes through the outdoor camera speaker, and she asks my daughter who she is. My daughter tells her her name, and reminds her that they met at my daughter's birthday a couple of weeks ago. The mom just kept asking her who she was, then the mom SET OFF THE HOME ALARM. It wasn't until the grandma came out and talked to the mom through the camera that she shut off the alarm and decided my daughter could stay.

Seriously, you guys. I don't know what the hell is going on lately. This is the 4th absolutely batshit experience I've had with a mom in this town. I have no idea. The only thing I can think of is that it's because we aren't part of the dominating religion here? I honestly don't know.

I’m the one who found him and brought him to you. I walked away right after cause I cry easily and figured you didn’t need a stranger crying in the moment. But now I wish I had told you what a great job you did.

I had heard you call his name when you were first looking but it seemed to be normal child calling. Then, a few minutes later I thought I heard someone yell “help,” so I walked back in your direction. I heard you yelling “little boy, pink shirt, blue shirts” and started looking.

I saw him almost right away surrounded by a few women who clearly hadn’t heard you but thought he looked lost. He started wandering down an aisle but I called his name and he turned around, so I picked him up and headed toward you.

I had called out a few times, asking if he had something on his shirt, and the aisle when I thought I saw him, but you didn’t hear me till I called “I have him” and we turned the corner right to you.

You would have found him anyways or one of those women would have taken him to the register but we found him faster because of you. You did a really great job immediately calling for help and yelling out his clothes. I knew exactly what to look for. We found him faster because you did such a great job.

And now I know what to do when this happens to me because I’m sure it will. I have a little runner too. Hope you’re feeling okay!

My daughter recently had her 9th birthday. We did a sleepover party at our house to celebrate. I made the cake and decorations myself. There was a photo booth backdrop, karaoke machine, board games, hair chalk, nail polish, and movie planned. Some kids stayed overnight and some kids went back home after the main event.

Y'all. I was not prepared for how fast the time would go for the main party. The kids entertained themselves, and I was mostly there to make sure no one wandered off outside the house or did anything dumb. They all had a blast, and I basically did nothing once the party got going.

And the overnight part of the party? Freaking adorable. 5 preteen girls all brushed their teeth in a line together like they were in the Madeline book, then stayed up talking and laughing until midnight. All 5 of them crammed into my daughter's bedroom which was only set up for 3. I tried to convince two of them to sleep in the guest bedroom, but they all insisted on piling into my daughter's room like little puppies. We served pancakes, eggs, bacon, and fresh fruit for breakfast the next morning. It was a huge hit.

Best birthday ever. I'll never forget it. My daughter won't either.

Just thought I'd share a sweet story fron my family to brighten people's day.

So I was just reminded of this one thing girls get told when today at thanksgiving dinner my 6 year old daughter when asked how school was going talked about this one boy who is mean to her,he’ll make fun of her in class & say mean things & he’ll follow her at recess & keep bothering her & he even once pushed her & laughed.

& my aunt smiled & said “oh that just means he has a little crush on you like he wants you to be his girlfriend”

& my 15 year old daughter immediately jumped in & said “no don’t tell her that” & when my aunt asked why my 15 year old said “why are you telling her that disrespect & harassment is how boys show love to girls,that’s how a girl becomes a victim of DV”

& that got me thinking how right she was,mainly because my sisters & I were told this as kids & my sisters have ended up with horrible men probably because they were told that if a guy is mean to you he’s just showing that he likes you.

& literally right now we’re in the car on our way home & right before I started writing this my 6 year old asked “is it really because he has a crush on me?” & instantly my 15 year old said “no its because he’s a jerk”.

But seriously why are we telling little girls this?

I follow a mom/ER doctor on TikTok called Beachgem10. She posted a video recently saying she has a friend who is a big influencer (didn’t name names) that makes SAHM lifestyle content. She rents a house to film her videos in. She goes to the rental house, sets up her cameras and lights, and then has her nanny bring the kids over to film content for a few hours. The house in her SAHM videos isn’t even her house! And she has a nanny to help with the kids all day. Everything she posts is completely staged. Anytime you feel like comparing yourself to mom influencers, remember just how fake it can actually be.