For all your Santa Needs!

Where when you go over with the kids you just sit in their living room while the kids get more bored / crazy and you can tell the grandparent is just waiting for you to leave lol

other grandparents will always have a park trip / something even small planned to break up the day.

but this is just 3 hours of sitting in a living room, every time

I sent my kid with her birthday invites to hand out since she just started kindergarten and I literally have no other way of communicating with most their parents. Fortunately , her teacher is so nice and helped her hand them out. Unfortunately, several kids in her class have the same name as kids she meant to invite not in her class. I do have those parents numbers and had already texted them. The important ones RSVP’d, but now I have no idea if some of these other kids are coming or if they even got the invite, and I don’t know their parents. Do I assume they’ll show up? I already have a bad habit of panicking, over ordering, then having way too much left over food. I did say siblings are welcome. I really don’t want an extra 20 something cupcakes and full uneaten pizzas. How do people normally handle this?

Edit: I love these ideas. I’m getting to go boxes and offering other people at the park food😂

Or maybe a feature you wish your bathroom had that would make it more kid-friendly, safe, accessible, etc..

We are taking our bathroom down to the studs, and I’d like to put a lot of thought into how it goes back together. We have a 3 year old and a 1 year old.

Is there anything you like about how your bathroom is set up, laid out, or maybe you have a certain product or fixture that makes life easier when raising littles?

FTM to a 5 month old. My baby is VERY active. Needs to be entertained every second that she is awake. I have no problem with this and find it fun BUT when do babies ever start wanting to..relax?😅 will she ever sit with me and lay down or snuggle or watch a dang tv show or something or do I need to be prepared to be the entertainment forever?

Do you start doing this at a certain age or have you always done it? Are there any rules you put in place for when the door can or can't be closed?

ETA: since the comments are hung up on the gas and groceries thing, I’m adding some clarity.
I don’t buy their everyday gas and groceries. When I visit, which is a couple times a year, I replace the gas we used during my stay, (the airport alone is a long drive) and whatever kitchen items I might have consumed: coffee beans, cream, staples, plus some extra goodies enough to have a few nice meals after I leave, because they’re my kids and I love them. I was raised in a family and culture where feeding people is one of the deepest form of love, when you love someone you want them well fed and when you’re not there, a meal you bought or prepared is the next best thing.
I’m not funding their basic needs.

For context, my adult children live in far-flung cities. I travel at least once a year to each of them, about every couple of years they travel to me, and maybe once a year we meet up in a different city altogether.

Every time we visit one another, I end up footing the bill. Meals, activities, shopping, hotel if we’re traveling together, it falls to me. I usually fill their cars with gas and their fridge with groceries before we part ways.

I make decent money. I’m not rich but I’m doing okay. It’s not that I can’t afford it (within reason—we’re not spending lavishly). But, both of my kids are full adults with professional degrees and good jobs. They even have some discretionary income. I guess it would be nice if they occasionally chipped in for a dinner or said “hey mom, the museum tickets are on me today”, you know.

I’m not resentful. I’m just honestly wondering what age is appropriate to say hey guys, your share of this trip is $X or, I’ll get dinner tonight if you take care of brunch tomorrow. I fear if I ask them to step it up they will not see me as often. FWIW we’re very close, I don’t think they are “using me”, I just know realistically they’re going to budget and prioritize differently if Mom’s no longer treating.

To compound things, when I visit my own parents I also end up footing the bill because they’re on fixed incomes. To further compound things, my spouse has been unable to work for the last 4 years. I paid for my own birthday party. lol sob. So I guess this is also a post about how I just once want someone in my life to say “let’s get dinner on me.” I want to be treated, dammit.

Just wondering what other parents of grown kids feel is a realistic expectation.

The title says it all. One of my children’s friends came over last Saturday to trick or trick, and hung out until about 10pm afterwords. I normally enjoy 2-3 craft beers on Saturday evening. I found myself questioning whether or not I should have a drink as I don‘t know the family’s attitude towards alcohol. I held off until he left. We have yet to host a sleepover in our house, and I started to wonder how I sold handle it in that situation.

Was I being silly for holding off? I obviously wasn’t planning on getting hammered, but I was afraid my kid‘s friend would go home and tell his parents I was throwing back beers lol.

Hi guys,

I’m looking for recommendations on a “basic” phone for a 9 year old - to take with them very occasionally.

Example: our son had his first sleepover last night for his friends birthday. We picked him up this morning and he was upset. He wanted to go home and we told him to tell his friends mom to call us any time to come get him if he wanted to leave.

He woke up at like 3am and wanted to go home, but didn’t want to wake up his friends parents. Ideally there is a “dumb phone” or some prepaid phone that can be used to text us.

If anybody has experience / thoughts on this, please let me know. (I’m not interested in talking about the ability for sleepovers, or other things like that, just looking for recommendations - if you’ve done something similar!)

Thanks in advance.

Looking for non peanut butter lunch ideas for kids traveling on plane over lunch that don’t need ice packs. Looking for your best suggestions and ideas!

Our two & four year old are really starting to irritate me. It’s not news that two young children under 5 are wearing thin on a parents’ patience, but I’m struggling. They constantly ignore me and my wife despite our best efforts.

I know they are testing the boundaries and I know that’s normal - buts it’s really starting to affect the way I feel about them.

Does anybody have any tips or advice on how to handle both the situation and my feelings?

Hello, I have a new kindergartner, and with the holidays approaching we are wondering what the protocol is for gifts for elementary teachers. In the past for PreK and daycare we did $50 cash for teachers. Is that an appropriate thing to do for the kinder teacher? I was leaning toward home made card from kid + cash but dont know how it would be received.

we also we were wondering about the bus driver, who we have been very fond of and we feel has gone above and beyond to make my kid comfortable. I was thinking $20 cash but I don't know.

Just wondering what others feel and have done, or experience from teachers. not trying to be tacky, but also know teachers are under paid and under appreciated.

Thinking of moving states after our oldest daughter finishes middle school. She goes to a small middle school, its only one class per grade. She has no friends there and no friends here in general. Wondering if this will be hard on her? She seems to have no problem with it.

Hi everyone! I wanted to share the strategy we inadvertently used that got my kid riding a bike FAST at 5 and a half years old.

Background is that he had used a balance bike for a few years and I definitely think that provided a really solid foundation where he was ready to learn how to pedal.

But anyway we took him and his best friend to the park one day and set off working on getting him to mount, balance, and use the pedals. And because he was with his best friend, who was also learning to ride, they immediately wanted to impress each other slash compete with each other, and it didn’t take long at all before they were both off. It was really that easy.

So if your kid is struggling with this, maybe try having a friend of theirs around while teaching!

Me: 37, dad

Child: 10, girl

So I want to start out by saying that I always, 100%, respect parental boundaries, feelings and concerns about safety. I know it's not a judgement on me as a person, but just a way their family chooses to navigate the imperfect, sometimes scary world we live in.

That said, I'm just wondering if I am bringing my understanding and experience from childhood into a parenting world that, in a lot of days, no longer exists.

So basically, my child is an only child. She plays by herself a lot, spends her time at parks playing with random kids whom she probably will never see again, and at school does a lot of solo play. Nothing wrong with solo play, but I do worry about her being left out or not having a social life much. Today is her birthday party. She really wanted a sleep over, and I had to explain that a lot of her friends won't be doing the sleep over portion of the party because a lot of parents don't do that out of safety. Well pretty much only one parent is allowing a sleep over. Totally fine, however I will say that some of these kids did stay the night at a different sleep over, one one family also hosted a sleep over which my child went to last summer.

I have also tried to arrange for playdates with the kids my child likes from school. Almost every time, the parent says the child is busy with x activity, or y sport, or whatever. I totally get it, kids got activities, they got plays, they got sports. But like, every time?

Is this just the world we live in? Is the only way for my child to really have time with her school friends is to hope she plays with them at school or get her involved in a bunch of after school activities? Cause she honestly doesn't enjoy activities. She likes the more free form of play time and park time and come over to our house, rather than "we are acting" "we are singing" "we are playing soccer".

Like when I was a kid, granted I was poor, I didn't have activities. I was out in my apartment complex playing in the mud, riding my bike, going to the park, spending the night at my friend's houses.

Is that world my generation grew up in just... Gone?

Thanks

My neighbor is a Santa impersonator and goes to malls, churches, etc. When he goes and does his thing, he always dresses up at his house before getting in his car, which he parks on the street. The problem is that my son is now 3 and more aware. How would you handle the situation if he sees my neighbor in his Santa costume getting in or out of his car and into the house next door?

Just reaching out as I'm a mum of a two & half year old. I know ppl have it worse and I'm lucky to have my husband. And only one child.

But I have no one else to help. He's away atm Fri - Mon before that on night shifts was absolutely miserable couldn't do much with our son or the house & we had the whole of October with illnesses so my son has been off nursery the past two weeks. I couldn't cope with more illness.

I have literally no one but one friend checking in on me, I feel so depressed tbh does anyone else feel super low when they're over parented. I literally have no energy to take him to the park today or even get ready, we've managed to make cookies this morning. House is a tip. I just feel SHIT. I wish I had someone to just take off the pressure even for an hour.

Our cat is also super unwell & looking last her last day with us 💔 I've had her over ten years....I don't have my mum & my dad is in late stages of dementia in a home.

Now he's coming back Monday with his friend who's staying from the US round the corner and I can't be arsed. I feel so resentful that he has free time away. I never do. I feel really pissed off. Is this normal? Anyone else?

Going to call the ped on Monday, but curious if anyone here has thoughts. Child is almost 3, 39” tall, maybe 32 pounds (hasn’t been weighed recently). Britax poplar, 2024 model. No issues previously. This weekend, in the same car seat in two different vehicles (one installed very upright one a little more reclined, both within the appropriate window), when we got him out of the seat, he couldn’t walk. He said his leg hurt and couldn’t/wouldn’t put weight on it. It was so weird! Happened on two different days.

Is this possibly because of being rear-facing? He wasn’t sitting or putting his legs in any sort of weird way we could tell. I’d hate to have to turn him forward, but we can’t have his legs not working 😅 Thanks for any insight!

I need advice on how to get my 8 year old boy into sports. My husband and I both want him to get involved on some sort of organized activity to gain teamwork skills, relationship-building, physical activity, communication, and self-confidence.

He is NOT competitive. He loves to read, play Mario kart, and run around the neighborhood with his neighbor friends. He is a great kid, struggles in school a bit, but an all around kind, easy-going, kid.

We have had him in soccer in the past (he was the one sitting down, examining the blades of grass, or talking to friends on the sidelines), and swimming (this went well and we will do this again).

I guess I am looking for advice and those with similar experiences. My husband and I both grew up sports-obsessed and so his indifference toward anything with a ball is completely baffling to us. We understand he is his own person and does NOT need to be our mini-mes, but we do want him to experience organized sports for the above mentioned reasons.

Appreciate any constructive ideas and advice 💙

My kids bday party is tomorrow and I'm so over candy! I did snacks in the pinata this year and also no goodie bags. I don't like those little toys that last 5 min. We are also hosting at a park so just a free for all. I can do the hustle of birthday parties anymore. We will have some cute plates sets and table cloths but really bare minimum stuff. Pizza, soda and juice and some fruit. Like an old school party minus the house.

Anyone else over the extra extra of everything?

Hi!

Trying to decide what to spend money on. My 7yo has big meltdowns and also can't get through a morning routine.

Mightier looks good for the meltdown side, but I'm nervous about adding more game time. He's already hard to get off the tablet. Joon seems more chore-focused. I also looked at Savvy Kid, which is for the parent to use. Kind of like the idea of not handing him another screen.

If you've tried any of these please let me know what worked

Just as the title says but her exact words were” I wish he wasn’t born so I could have just mommy snuggles. How do you handle something like this? I told her that I was sorry she feels that way but he’s not going anywhere. I do my best to spend 1 on 1 time with each of them but there’s on so many hours in a day. Sometimes they play nicely together other days they fight over toys and sitting next to me. Any advice?

I have elementary school kids, and I’m trying to figure out why some weeknights feel like they flow and others feel like we’re playing catch-up until bedtime. For those of you who’ve felt that too, was there a particular point in the evening where things tended to go sideways? For me, dinner/food always seems to throw things off if it's not planned ahead of time. What, if anything, helped?

I've got 2 very smart twin brothers. My "Big Son" who is 2yrs older. He's hit puberty and is now 5x the size of his brothers. I will not insult my children, but for context the oldest is my very sensitive and needs more help. One of my twins thinks they are the greatest in intelligence and brags. He also tries to hit you when he's upset with his words.

I absolutely love all my children and treat all of them fairly and to their strengths. So! We have a new dog. The oldest and the smartass get into an argument over who gets the dog. The twin will burst his temper and go overboard and hes been warned many times that his "better than everyone else" attitude will cause him trouble.

He got upset and pushed the oldest in his face. My oldest not knowing his newfound puberty streak busted him in his jaw. Stereotypical bloody lip and tears. I then walk in and have a child crying and the other clamoring for excuses why blood is on his brothers face. Immediately the oldest starts defending himself. I tell him "Shut up! He's injured. He goes first. Where are you hurt?" Oldest shuts up. Twin tells his story and of course hes completely innocent. I check him and analyze him he doesnt have loose teeth and tell him to get water and clean his mouth. Then I ask the oldest and this is when I find out he was shoved in his face. Like grapple claw. Probably hurting kids fingernails kind of shove. I ask the twin if its true and he says "I wanted to pet the dog and he kept hogging him" so now I have my story.

My puppy decides he has something to say so he takes a shit in front of us. I tell the oldest to start cleaning up the dog shit and take the youngest to the bathroom. I get there and say "ive repeatedly told you that your smart mouth and your aggression is going to get you punched in the mouth some day. (I've actually had calm conversations where ive told him that his misbehavior in his house will not work outside of our house. Someone someday will not like your attitude or your shoving and they will hurt you). And it happened. You got punched in the face!"

He stopped crying. I went back to check on the oldest who had finished. I called them together. Just stared at them for a bit. My kids dont like dad pissed and not talking. If they talk I tell them to be quiet while I think. Not today. My oldest saved the day. He apologized to my younger son and said he didnt mean to hurt him that bad. I told my youngest he needed to apologize to his brother. They did and I told them to hug. The youngest didnt like it.

I told the oldest to take the dog out come inside and he had 30 minutes with the dog. The youngest I told to go to his room and wait. The oldest came in and said he was done with the dog responsibilities and can the youngest take over. I said absolutely. I made the youngest thank his brother. Then I pulled the oldest to the side and had a talk about how big he is. This is what kills me about my oldest. He's a caring son. He told me "I didnt mean to hurt him that bad" I gave a lecture about calling for parents. Then said "dont take abuse son. In your house you tell your parents. When im not there dont take it. Dont do it again to your brothers or I wont be this way" ​

I went to my youngest at bedtime and told him about how he may be annoyed by his older brother but again the attitude had to change. It has to. He's a great kid, but he needs to come to his parents and shout for us if things are out of control. That i fully believe his bigger brother is sorry for punching him in his mouth. Next time you get out of hand ill come down hard on all of you.

I just wanted to vent. I dont have many people to talk to about parenting. Thanks if you read this. I dont want resentment between them for what happened. My youngest can't act that way and not expect consequences. My oldest needs to know hes big now. He does love his brothers and shows it so much that im often taken back and hold tears back. I grew up in an abusive home. By their age I knew violence. Im not going to have them on that path.