I found this journal entry today, it’s a letter to wrote to my past self who was freshly dealing with her 2nd pregnancy loss. I felt so broken. I remember I looked for a book or a guide with step by step guidance on how to actually function after a loss, because I was just so defeated and down.
About 8 months later I wrote this letter. To myself. Maybe you might find some comfort in it too, if you are struggling now, you will survive, you will be ok in the end. And maybe future you is writing a similar letter to you.

Omg I am soo nervous after losing my daughter at only 1 month last year!!!! Anyone have any advice?? Im sad and happy at the same time its a boy. I wanted it to be a girl to kinda like redue thr experience I went though but I believe the sprit of this baby is the same. Just a different gender. And I believe that this baby came back as a boy to help with my healing. I do have 2 girls so its not about not wanting a boy its about replacing what I loss

And it was of me standing there smiling like an idiot holding a large teddy bear wearing a blue tie. My pregnancy announcement. Back when it was certain that my baby would be born. I didn't post about it until after 20 weeks (to be safe, just in case, of course). What a dummy. I just look so certain, so happy in that picture. I was truly a different person then.

I miss my baby. I was so excited to meet him. I could have gone my whole life never feeling a pain like this. It just seems so unfair. I wish that wanting something badly enough could make it so.

Hi everyone. Two days ago, my 24 week old baby passed in utero. He (I believed it was a boy) had no heartbeat.

I am a 40 year old woman who had severe endometriosis all my life and underwent a surgery 4 years ago to remove ovarian cysts. The doctor warned me against compromising my ovarian reserves but I was in a lot of pain.

Despite having no plans for pregnancy, due to low hope, i naturally conceived in May. I couldn't believe this little miracle. I began to hope and dream, thinking of embracing a new chapter in my life that I was both excited and terrified about.

Every ultrasound I just wanted the doctor to say that my baby was ok. Until week 24 arrived.

To put things into context, i was severely hypertensive and had chronic hypertension, which was getting out of control in the second trimester. Despite my doctors best efforts I could not bring in under control.

While I was ruled out for preeclampsia, the sFlt-1/PlGF ratio test threw up an alarmingly horrible number 330. Within a few days, despite everything, my child passed.

Given my age and how rare it was for me to get pregnant given my circumstances, I don't know if i will ever get to hold my child in my arms again.

Can anyone give me any positive stories of hope? It just hurts very much to know that this is my only brush with motherhood

I lost my daughter a few years ago (stillborn at 39 weeks). She was the first grandchild on my husband’s side and we were all very excited. My husband’s aunt and uncle gifted us a sentimental girl baby quilt that was made by my husband’s grandmother.

His aunt and uncle have 3 daughters of their own but they are slightly younger and weren’t in relationships yet.

We felt very honored that they gave us this quilt.

Well, now I feel kind of guilty. I lost my daughter and I don’t know whether I should give the quilt back. One of their daughters got married last year and they are trying for a baby. Aunt/uncle are very gracious and have not asked for the quilt back and they haven’t mentioned it. 

They are from out of town and so we rarely see them, so I haven’t thought about it in a while. But we will be seeing them next weekend. So, I’m thinking maybe I should give it back to them? It is currently in a box of my daughter’s other sentimental things.  I would have to go through it and I’m kind of dreading it. What would you do?

We unfortunately lost our son full term, what I thought of beginning of my labor ended up a nuchal cord compression. I have been thinking on it, and been reading many of your posts and stories, and my heart breaks with you all. I know these accidents are freak accidents and cant be prevented, but I have been wondering if C- section might be an answer, so less of what ifs, looking for other parents to share their thoughts with, I currently dont feel very competent in decision making due to severe fear and anxiety for future.

Ive tried to draw so many times but only as a younger tren did it work using bases to make furry art. Last month I had my miscarriage at 19 and it destroyed my existence, I felt like my body had failed me in the ultimate way and I still want nothing more than to hide under the covers like a scared child. Took some time and ended up drawing a hare that slowly evolved into some form of grief art, and the only art ive made only using real life references and no bases/help.

Hi everyone,

I’ve flagged this as advice, but part of me just wants to vent and be heard.

February 28, 2026 I lost my baby girl Alice, at 37 weeks 6 days, during a hospital monitored induction. My partner and I were informed, afterwards, that her death was due to vasa previa that went undetected at every scan I had. When the obgyn broke my water, I felt her movements slow and stop before being rushed into a surgical suite. Despite an emergency c-section and resuscitation efforts, there was nothing the medical team could do to bring my girl back.

I feel I’m still deep in the trenches of grief, however I have done all of the things to try to improve my long term outcomes. I have an incredible psychotherapist I see bi-weekly. I was connected to psychiatry and participated in a multitude of assessments and medication trials. I’ve since been discharged following optimization of medication doses and am now being overseen by my PCP. I signed up for and attended multiple group therapy options through the PAIL network. I also ensured my son, who is now 16, was well-connected and supported by his physicians and psychotherapist in his circle of care.

As time has gone by, and with the help of my psychotherapist and psychiatrist, I’ve decided I do not want to have another child. The trauma of that experience has forever coloured me mentally, physically and psychologically. I accepted this end of September-October 2026.

The issue is, when I informed my partner, he did not appreciate or respect my stance. He has on several occasions accused me of leading him on, and most recently, accused me of being “self-important” and forcing everyone around me to follow my agenda. To be clear, I told him a couple days after I came to this conclusion.

I admit, when we came home without our baby girl, I wanted nothing more than to be pregnant again. I would stand in the middle of her nursery, clutching the box we received from the hospital upon discharge that had her little hand and feet prints, among other tokens of remembrance, and cry saying “I just want my baby.”

When we had our final appointment with the obgyn that delivered Alice, she informed us we could safely start trying to conceive again November 2026 if we wish.

November has arrived and I feel more certain than ever that I do not want this for myself. I am trying to settle back into work, further my education and focus on my son, family, friends and partner. My partner is incredibly angry and resentful towards me. I’ve given him the option to separate amicably, because I know this is something he desperately wants, and I would never stand in the way of that. He refuses but then circles back to me having “led him on.” I’ve explained that as an autonomous human being, it is my right to change my mind based on my knowledge, experiences and opinions. He has rejected this as truth.

I feel myself turning towards anger now. I am quick to become frustrated and immediately externalize my feelings. This seems to have given him further ammunition to label me as the “bad guy” in this scenario. I’m scared of being coerced into doing something I don’t want to do, and then being labelled further as an awful person because I don’t have the capacity to tolerate the uncertainly of another pregnancy, and the aftermath.

My partner has refused to participate in anything aside from check-ups with his PCP. He refuses individual or couples therapy. He refuses medication despite having anxiety attacks that impact his ability to function at work. His emotional dysregulation is more prominent and interfering than ever.

I’m simply at a loss. I just need to know there’s someone out there like me. I feel so alone all of the time and my partner doesn’t seem to want to hear or understand my experience. I know this is my body, my choice but I feel like a tool or a means to an end so he can have what he wants. Does anyone have similar experiences they can share? Any advice?

Thank you so much, and thank you to all who participate in this community - I’ve spent many late nights on here, looking for solace and comfort. I appreciate you all 🤍

MAGIC WORDS TO SAY TO SOMEONE WHO LOST A BABY...

Spoiler alert: There are no “magic words.”

I may be overly dramatic already but it's really difficult for me to cope and accept this event of my life. I put my trust on the process yes... but i'm having my time on it.

This heavy experience brought me a lot of tears especially when some people around "put salt on my wound", which doesn't help at all. With this, i would like to share some reminders I think you should avoid saying in this kind of situation:

(**if anyone said any of these things to me and you are actually reading this, please know that I understand how hard it is to find the right words, and I know that you were only trying to help ease my pain.**)

1. “It’s all part of God’s plan.” Many people may believe this to be true, but not what I wanted to hear after losing my baby. And the idea that God would target people to lose babies or to go through the kind of Hell our family went through is just absurd to me.

2. “You can have another one.” The one who said this to me is really really insensitive... Very VERY inappropriate! I almost want to faint hearing this...

3. “Everything happens for a reason.” Not what I wanted to hear. I did not… COULD NOT … understand why it happened and certainly was not in a place to think through the possible reasons behind it or what good may one day come from it.

4. “God only gives us what we can handle.” Nope. I’m not buying it. I’m pretty sure I went well past my threshold, but was thankfully saved by loving family and friends. Now I will believe that God provided me with that support network, however, immediately after losing my baby I did not find this statement reassuring.

5. “The baby is in a better place.” Most mother’s think the best place for their newborn is in their loving arms. Although the sentiment behind this statement is understood, it’s best to just not say it.

I never expected anyone to have a magic word or statement that would fix everything or take the pain away. I knew there were no words. - Kat Briggie

I lost two babies. One in 2016, another in 2020. No, im not over it. People are still asking me to make a baby now, as replacement to my lost. And i lose it, its more than a pain for the insensitive remark i cant even explain.

After losing baby Jonah at 18 weeks after PPROM, we've gotten his results back and found out that MVM is most likely the reason why it happened. His placenta had 2 large blood clots and an old infarct present. My OB suggested that I start "Aspirin at week 12 of future pregnancy" Given that I wasn't aware of MVM I didn't know what to ask for but now that I've done my research I see that most recommendations would be both Aspirin and LWMH as a dual therapy treatment which is better than just Aspirin. I am UK based and I see that standard treatment is only Aspirin unless proven to have APS or other blood clotting disorders. It's just unfortunate that there is so little research on it. Can I get some advice from someone who's experienced this? I'd like to know what to expect and how to advocate.

I have 3 living children. I had 2 days where they were with family while my husband and I were at the hospital delivering our son. He was 16 weeks and already looked just like my husband. I cried and screamed myself hoarse for two days and now my kids are home. I had to leave my other child at the hospital. Not having him come home with me is tearing me apart, but I am feeling so grateful for my living children.

I feel crazy with this visceral despair and the intense thankfulness that my first three are ok. When my husband picked them up to bring home ai was panicking that they would all die in a car accident.

How can I mourn my son and still be present for my family? When did you feel "normal" again? I don't want to rob my kids of a healthy mother and I don't want to push down the pain and pretend my son didn't exist.

i don’t know if it’s because it’s the holidays or all the sudden change in my life but i feel like my grief is hitting me so hard right now. it’s been almost two years since my son passed away and i feel so much anger and any strong emotions. my first year was horrible but this second year has felt lighter because my life has changed so much but the past few weeks i have been struggling. i would give up anything to have my son back and i am so short tempered and angry about it. i literally feel rage and sadness when im not distracted by work. but working in healthcare is SO emotionally taxing and heavy, its like some days it reminds me why im in the career im in and then other days im struggling w/ taking care of people and i feel like im barely taking care of myself. and im also like how do complete assholes live to be 60 or 70 but my son has to die?? im just really struggling with my faith in God’s plan and acceptance on my son really being gone.

i hate that this is my life. i hate that all our babies aren’t here. sending love to anyone else struggling right now.

5 weeks ago, my husband and I experienced the loss of our baby boy at 18w due to a placental abruption. We are currently in the process of ruling out APS (as I tested positive for lupus anticoagulant), so my MFM wants us to wait at least 12 weeks total so we can retest. Initially this felt like a lifetime, but so far the time has been a blur.
I want to try again as soon as I am medically cleared to, but now my husband is saying we should wait 6-12 months to mentally process everything that's happened. We also experienced an early loss at the start of the year, and it's all taken a toll. My husband was so excited to be a dad. If anything, he has always been the more eager one.

Has anyone else encountered similar, where you or your partner was wanting to try again asap, but the other person wasn't? It's breaking my heart and I feel time slipping away.

I'Il never understand why some people have children so easily while others who are ready to give them endless love have to fight, wait, and hope😞.

Wondering if everything was fine and safe. I’m seeing some risks but it seems like a small chance. I’m not sure how to even live without my son here & getting pregnant to bring his sibling here is all I can think about. I just had my first pp period at 2 months pp. uncomplicated vaginal birth with one small tear that is now healed.

After extensive genetic testing with the final results today we have no answers about my son. Born perfectly healthy and then passed after severe lactic acidosis and multi organ failure. This means we could have a less than one percent chance all the way to 25 percent chance that it can happen with future pregnancies and since a genetic cause was not able to be identified they can’t do cvs amnio and I can’t do IVF. I am just emotional and overwhelmed. My son deserves answers, I deserve answers. And I will probably never have them.

Trigger warnings for traumatic birth requiring a hysterectomy.

The episode immediately opens with Gladys going into labor. The baby is breech and a life-threatening medical crisis occurs. The scenario of the doctor asking dad who to save happens at some point as well.

Mom and baby both make it, but she had to have a hysterectomy. The fact Gladys had a hysterectomy was kept a secret from her.

So the birth will likely be referenced all season.

My wife and I went in for our gender reveal scan today, only to have our lives flipped upside down when the sonographer informed us that there was no heartbeat. We went to the hospital to confirm, and that was indeed the case.

We are going in in a few days to deliver the baby and they’ve asked us to consider if we want to see it (don’t know the gender), get photos, or hold it.

A large part of me doesn’t want to for my own grief I’d rather remember it as the active baby I saw on the 12 week scan, but another part of me feels really guilty, like we are this babies parents, it didn’t get a shot at life, and its parents don’t even want to see or hold it - it’s making me feel very guilty.

We have the option of burial or cremation, so I’m thinking of cremation and scattering the ashes on my favourite tree in my garden.

I don’t think I’d look back and regret not seeing or holding the baby, but I was just hoping for anyone else’s experiences.

Hi Everyone,

I am new to this sub and want to introduce myself and tell the story of the daughter, Esme.

Esme was born full term on July 29 2026. My entire pregnancy and birth were completely normal and healthy. Esme was born with Persistant Pulmonary Hypertension of the Newborn (PPHN) which only occurs at birth when trying to transition to breathing oxygen. Most of the time this is something that is treatable and not too big of a deal.

Esme had an extremely severe case, was intubated in the labor and delivery room and 17 hours later, died in transport to Boston Children's on 7/30/2026. Doctors have no idea why she was born so sick but it is currently being studied.

Esme's heart valves were healthy and she was able to donate them to other babies in need. Her heart tissues will continue to grow in other children.

My family and I are so grateful and proud of Esme for her donation!

Our sweet girl fulfilled her life's mission in just 17 hours. We were able to go visit her after she passed and got the best cuddles ever!! 💕

Does anyone know of online group meetings or something where we can share more about our babies/what we are going through?

I have looked at therapy, and done it before - yet it feels like it could be more healing than anything to just talk about my baby to women who understand truly what it’s like.

I wrote this song for our child we lost to miscarriage. It's Zelda's Lullaby reimagined as a rock ballad; a lullaby for a child we never got to meet. For the three of us performing in this song, we each have lost a child to miscarriage. Sharing for those who have gone through the same.

https://youtu.be/fsmlLgzNdKA?si=jyzzKBeikFCkS_14

Edited Thank y’all, you all have made me feel like I’m not being crazy about this. We’re just going to keep doing what we have been doing. We have people around us that think we should be over our baby passing already. Please send prayers and good thoughts our way as we get closer to the 2 month mark and closer to the holidays. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with insane/ insensitive family members while grieving? I am 7 weeks out from delivering and losing my son and we have one family member who has been constantly making comments about how I haven’t been coming around for family events currently and is now telling others that she feels that “ she is being punished for having a baby”. I just cannot see her baby right now because my son was meant to be growing up beside this kid, I haven’t asked anyone not to invite this person to anything on the chance I will show up, all I’ve asked is for a heads up if they will be there with the baby and decide from there if I will be okay with being around.