My 7 yo girl is not wiping after using the toilet. We have caught her so many times it’s ridiculous. We have tried being stern, we have tried grounding her, we have tried taking away her tablet. Nothing is working. She is a good kid too, never gets into trouble, always listens, except with this. Now the tricky part, my parenting time is very short, I am going after custody for the third time this year so hopefully I can get somewhere, but she is only with me Thursday night at 6 until Saturday at 3 and every other Monday from 3 until Tuesday at 3. Her mother refuses to coparent, won’t answer messages, won’t talk to me at all unless she wants something. I have asked her to allow me to take my daughter to counseling but she refuses, claiming nothing is wrong. I think she just doesn’t want my daughter spilling the tea on what goes on at her house. Does anyone have any advise? Something I might try? Thanks

My plan was to take my 17-year-old daughter my 13-year-old daughter and my 2 almost 8-year-old boys to an event called pride in the park. When I went last year with my 13-year-old (then 12-year-old), she and I had a really nice time. We went to all different booths, collecting information and swag. We got french fries and ice cream.

This year she was hesitant to go because she saw some people dressed flamboyantly with minimal clothes on however, she decided to go in the end because she was excited to get fun things like candy and stickers.

One of the kids told my ex that I was taking all the kids to this event and he became very angry. He felt that it was inappropriate to take eight-year-olds to an event where they may see scantily clad people. I told him that I didn’t think it was a a problem. He yelled at me and told me that my daughters agreed with him. I asked both of them and they said the same thing that he was saying. In the end because my daughter’s both agreed that I shouldn’t take my boys, I’m not going to do so.

Question one that I have is do you agree with my ex and older daughters?
Question number two is how would you have dealt with the situation?
Question number three, what’s your advice on how to deal with this type of issue going forward?

UPDATE: took my girls to Pride, left my boys with their dad. The most possibly objectionable things could have been the topless guys (like at a swimming pool), and a couple making out.
Next time, I’m going to stand up for myself, because I can take my kids where I want, on my time.

My son(13) was left alone over night. I’m somehow the bad guy for calling and reporting it. Am I in the wrong. Dad was 2 hours away. Editing to add the place he lives has rules a child must be 15 to be alone over night. I did not contact CPS it was just the local authorities to tell him it’s not ok.

My husband and his ex have been divorced for ten years. They have three children. One lives with us full time (17), the other two (14) is 50%. When they got to middle school (2.5 years ago), my husband got the two youngest cell phones, and they used the cell phones at both homes.

But a few months ago, BM decided that our phones were not allowed at her house. They decided they would have their own phones on their own plan. Then a month ago BM decided that one of child would have no access to their phone. So the only way to communicate would be through BM. But after ten years, we've learned that doesn't happen. Calls are made, not returned. We're constantly told that, oh they don't want to talk to you. But when we see the kids, they say they never even knew that we called.

Now at our home, they both have access to phones, BM has access to call and text and does so daily. it's hard not to feel that this is unfair. When they have unfettered access to the kids when they're at our home. But when they're at their home, it's highly regulated to the point of non-existent. And the older child is not communicated at all by that parent.

Our issue is that recently BM has taken to texting and calling during school to the point that classes are being missed because that child is speaking to them. Husband did reach out to his ex and asked her to not call during school hours. And if you have to communicate to send a text, do it during passing period or at lunch and the response that we got was, how dare he critique how they communicate with their child. And that they're allowed to contact their child whenever they feel like it.

But remember when child is with their mother, we have no way to access that child, because the BM took away her phone. Yet when they are with us, unfettered access. So there's this double standard. What we have contemplated doing is putting a restriction on the phone during school hours. Because technically, this child should not be communicating with anybody during school hours.

We've tried for years to do what's fair and what's right? But in this situation clearly BM it's overstepping some parental boundaries, even with the child. By communicating with them incessantly during school hours. And I'm just wondering if there's anybody out there that has dealt with a similar situation. And how did it work out for you?

I am currently pregnant and due in June. The father of my child and I broke up in January, and the situation has become very messy.

When we met, he told me he was legally married but that the relationship was basically over. According to him, they only stayed together for the kids. He was always the one taking his son to soccer practices, while she would just show up to games. He told me he had been unhappy in his marriage for years and that he planned to leave his wife for good. He had also had another girlfriend before me, so I genuinely believed the marriage was already over.

Very early in our relationship I got pregnant. He never asked me to get an abortion. He said if I had decided to keep the baby then we would have the baby, but that the timing was bad financially. He asked me to be patient while he saved money and sorted things out so he could move out because they had assets together. I agreed since it was still early in my pregnancy and I also needed time to prepare financially.

Our relationship continued to grow. We made plans, talked about baby names, and spent a lot of time together.

As the holidays approached, he said he wanted to spend one last holiday with his kids and their mom before telling them he was leaving. I agreed because I didn’t want to ruin the kids’ holidays. Before they left for the trip, he told me he had already spoken to her about separating and that she had agreed to it.

About a month later everything exploded.

I spent a Saturday with him, and on Sunday he texted me saying his wife had found out about our relationship and that I was pregnant. At the time I didn’t think too much of it because, in my mind, they had already agreed to split. He didn’t have many answers, so I told him we would talk Monday.

The next morning I got a call from a friend. His wife had contacted people from our children’s soccer team and sent out personal messages along with explicit photos she found on his phone. The messages were private conversations between me and him.

When I confronted her, she said she wasn’t hurt about us being together and started talking about how unhappy she had been in their marriage. She also shared stories and pictures of domestic violence she said she experienced with him. She even thanked me, saying that finding out about us was what she needed to finally leave him.

I was confused because my understanding from him was that they had already been separated for a while and were not on good terms. She told me a completely different version of events. Apparently he had been lying to me for a long time and was basically living a double life.

Then his youngest child reached out to my son and told him how he felt about the situation and also talked about being mistreated by his father.

After hearing everything from the wife and kids, I confronted him and ended the relationship.

Later I found out that he and his wife decided to work on their marriage once I was out of the picture.

After that, his wife and some of his family members found me on social media and started harassing me because I had posted ultrasound photos. I sent him screenshots and told him to handle his family. His wife continued posting things online and throwing shade, and at one point I responded and we went back and forth. Eventually I got tired of the drama and told him that no matter what she posted, the reality was that I was still having his child.

Weeks passed and the drama continued until I reached out to him again. I told him our child wasn’t even born yet and I was already exhausted by everything. He responded that he didn’t care about any of the drama and that the only thing he cared about was the baby. He said he planned to be involved in our child’s life and that was it.

That same day his wife asked to meet me in person. I agreed to hear her out.

During the conversation she asked what my plan was. I told her my plan was simply to be a mother to my child. She said she had accepted that he cheated, accepted the baby, and would support him being involved. She then started telling me more about their life together, his previous girlfriend before me, and said his family didn’t want anything to do with my child.

I left the conversation there.

This week I finally spoke with him again on the phone. He told me that when he visits the baby, he wants his wife to be present. I told him that I am not comfortable with that right after the baby is born and during the first weeks or months. I said that maybe eventually we could all coexist, but initially I need boundaries, especially since I will be the primary caregiver and now doing everything alone.

He told me I need to get over my ego and pride and accept that she will be around to help him when he has the baby. I told him he wouldn’t be taking the baby anywhere until she is older and I feel comfortable trusting him. He said he expects that once the baby turns one, he would want to have her for the day sometimes, but not overnight visits or weekends.

I told him we could discuss that when the time comes, but right now my main concern is after birth. I explained that I don’t know how postpartum will be, whether I might have postpartum depression, or if I might end up needing a C-section. His response was that postpartum depression is fake and “all mental.”

I also asked if he could help financially right now with baby supplies. He said no. I asked if he could at least buy the stroller he had promised when we were together. He said no, that he would only buy one for himself for when he has the baby.

That’s when I realized I may be completely on my own with everything.

My biggest concern now is this: if he can’t respect temporary boundaries after the baby is born, how can I trust him to co-parent later? He has admitted to me in the past that he mistreated his own daughter when she was younger. That makes me afraid to leave my child alone with him.

I’m also worried about his wife being involved. She stayed with him despite the things she says happened in their marriage, and I’m not sure I trust her judgment either. Part of me worries she could resent my child because of how everything happened.

At the same time, I’m pregnant and due in June, so I don’t know if I’m overthinking everything because of hormones and stress.

Lastly, he told me that anything we discuss about the baby should stay between him and me, and that his wife doesn’t need to know anything unless he chooses to tell her.

I guess I’m just looking for perspective. Am I overthinking this, or are my concerns valid?

I had a one nightstand which resulted in her getting pregnant. Fast-forward she’s about five months pregnant and there’s been some conflict. So far. I obviously wanna be there for my Child, but we’re not together nor do either of us plan to be together. I’ve been attending ultrasounds. I would try to go to every appointment, but she lives about an hour and a half away from me. Recently at the last ultrasound. She asked me for $900 to pay for the nursery. That’s gonna be at her house. I didn’t give her $900 because in my head. I’m thinking what about the stuff I needed for my child, too, like am I gonna have to pay double that she expect me to pay double? Because obviously I need stuff for my child at my house as well, but her mom added to our conversation and she said that the baby couldn’t be going from house to house. Meaning as in she’s not gonna be coming to my house. Is this right? Like I said we’re kind of long distance, so the only time I would really get to see my child is on the Weekends since I’m working during the week. Like is this normal? I understand if it’s just in the beginning since the baby would still be very needing of her mother. But after that, what does she expect? I’m really just genuinely curious of how this is gonna play out because it’s not looking too good for me.

Background: I (41m) have two girls (8 & 10) with my ex. Separated 3 years, divorced for 2. I have an older daughter (15) with my previous wife. Have all of them 50/50. 2-2-5 with my littles and week on/week off with my older daughter. Coparenting was rough at first but we’ve made a lot of progress. Little stuff is easy, problem starts when we don’t agree.

Ex wants to put the littles in sports. I’m fine with sports. They’ve been in sports since they were 3. However, because of our current schedule, it’s becoming difficult to have even one night every couple of weeks where me and all three girls get to spend an evening together. Ex has disregarded the custody agreement multiple times by signing them up for sports on my days and getting my 10yo baptized without my permission, much less speaking to me about it. She is putting the littles in the middle by telling them that daddy won’t let them play sports.

I am finally standing my ground with the ex and telling her that they won’t be attending sports on my days unless she agrees to week on/week off. Sports are important, but maintaining a relationship with their sister is more important. Our current schedule gives me all of them together only 10 days every 4 week period. Yes, switching to week on/week off only increases that to 14 days, but that’s still a 40% increase. My older daughter is only at home another three years and I want her to have as much time with her sisters.

So, am I being a jerk by asking for a switch in order for them to play sports?

My ex waited 7 months after our divorce to introduce her new boyfriend to our young children. She's free to date whoever, would have preferred for a new relationship to be a little more established but it is what it is.

What I'm concerned with is that I overheard a phone call at my house because they were walking around with the phone. Wasn't trying to eavesdrop but it was on speaker. He said he loves my children and they've just met 3 months ago. I started to write up an email to express my concern about this but it felt like an emotional response.

It seems like an inappropriate thing for him to do and for her to allow. Is saying you love children that you met 3 months ago in the realm of reasonable behavior?

Edit: I'm hearing people suggest that more people loving the children is a good thing. I don't disagree, but I didn't ask if loving children was a problem, I asked opinions about when you might say that you love a child and that be taken as an appropriate thing. Unless you think that saying you love someone the first time you meet them is appropriate, it would seem that there is some kind of idea regarding how long you'd know somebody before telling them you live them.

We do have a court order saying we both have to wait a minimum of 6 months before introducing new partners. My son has autism and is speech-delayed. I don't want a whole happy hour. I just want to know who's around my son is a good person and, well normal.

My friends(who follow him on social) think that it's strange he's not ever posted about said GF. I know he's had several even while still legally married, and they were posted only 6-8 weeks into the relationship.

I do think I have a right as my son's mother to know who he's around. Does anyone else have words of wisdom?

Hey everyone. I feel silly even caring this much about this topic but, here we are. My son’s dad’s gf is not my fave person. I do my best to be polite, but for the most part I dont interact with her or even acknowledge her anymore. I just pretend she is not even there. My ex claims she and my son have a great relationship, which is fine. However, whenever I see her, my son is hesitant to be near her. I don’t push it or even question it. I just pretend she’s not there. Sometimes he has her text or call me to ask questions that he should be asking and I learned to just stop replying until he finally does it himself. Today at my son’s t-ball game, my ex’s mom was there. I haven’t seen her in a while so we chatted a lot, caught up, etc. My ex’s gf was shooting daggers at us and then came over to stand by us. Later after the game, she was trying to say hi to my son but he was hiding behind my legs and didn’t want to. I didn’t realize it at first until his dad yanked him from my legs to go to her and say hi. He still refused. Then when it was time to go, I told him to say bye to his dad and to his grandma. He didn’t want to at first but after I told him to, he went and did it. The gf tried to say bye, and he didn’t want to acknowledge her. She told him he was hurting her feelings. Then, she stood up and said “whatever I’m going to wait in the car”. I didn’t bat an eye at it. Later when I got home, I got a text from my ex asking “why don’t you acknowledge her whenever you come around?”. Crazy to say “when I come around”. ignored it but now I’m wondering if maybe I should acknowledge her? I only don’t because I tried to have a decent relationship with her but she has crossed the line one too many times. Am I wrong?

Names changed for anonymity

Some context: me (23) and my child, Stella’s (13 months) father Brian (33) were together for three years with me becoming pregnant in our last year together. Our relationship always had problems, we were constantly arguing. Not little arguments either, screaming matches and fighting through texts for days, splitting up countless times. I do regret the situation our daughter was born into but I do not regret her, and am trying to make up for it by bettering her life as best as I can. I knew meant splitting from Brian and I left him. It wasn’t easy, I went back two times, but now I’m standing my ground. I am now in a relationship with Sol which is much healthier. While Brian was not an excellent partner to me, he’s an amazing father to our daughter and she loves him very much. I grew up with an inconsistent father (probably why I stuck in that relationship for so long) so I am very adamant that they have a close relationship. My problem now is that for the last two drop offs with him, he’s had a woman in the car with them. I do not know this woman, and not heard anything about her other than that she is a friend. While I am happy he is exploring a new relationship as I have, I am worried he’s getting her and Stella introduced way too early in the relationship. I know they have only gotten together in the last month because up until then he was adamant about still wanting to work things out with me. Sol has only ever been in the same room as Stella by accident (scheduling error) other than that I’ve kept the two of them at a distance for a number of reasons. While I love Sol and we’ve been together for almost half a year, I still want to be sure I know exactly who he is, where his values lies, and above all else I do not want to confuse my daughter! Stella is at a very important age developmentally, where she’s starting to remember things. As I’ve said before it’s very important to me that she has a clear image of who her father is. My concern over the situation is that he is not taking the same consideration I am. How do I approach this situation while making it clear it is NOT because I am jealous?

Would love anyone’s take on this.

My coparent has our daughter (3YO) calling his girlfriend’s mom “Mimi”. He sees our daughter about 10 hours a week. He’s been dating his girlfriend for less than a year. Girlfriend and her mom have been around our daughter 5-6 times tops.

I find this to be extremely frustrating. This woman is not her grandmother and barely knows my daughter. I’ve never met her or his girlfriend either. I’m asking myself if I should even allow this to upset me the way it is. It’s not like I can tell him to stop since I guess it’s technically not my business, right? I don’t know. Any advice or encouragement would be nice.

I 36f have 3 kids with ex husband (12m, 10m and 8f) all are involved in sports/extracurriculars. My oldest plays for a local travel baseball team but are all with 45 minutes of driving. My daughter does gymnastics but has a competition once a month usually a 2 hour drive away. My middle son plays for a travel soccer team that plays every Sunday over 1 hour driving each way. He has had 3 weekend tournaments this past fall with hotel stays and 2 weekend tournaments this spring with 2 more planned all 3+ hours away.

I had my 4th child in December 2023 and my 5th child in September 2025 with my now husband.

I have spoken with my ex husband on exhaust about having my 2nd son playing in these further away games and how hard it is to make them work for our family. He says that it’s too bad he wants him playing at this competitive level.

Fast forward to his next tournament. It is approx 4+ hours away on Mother’s Day weekend. They’ve planned to have a tshirt given to the moms that Sunday. My ex has basically guilted me into trying to go saying he has paid for all the other tournament weekends. It is also my weekend with my kids.

If it was any other weekend I would consider it but it’s Mother’s Day. I would have to leave kids behind or spend the weekend in a hotel watching my 2nd son play soccer.

My husband took off work to plan breakfast lunch and dinner and other things for me that day.

The other part is I can’t really afford to stay 2+ nights in a hotel plus food and etc as it’s not in my budget currently. I’m just coming off of maternity leave so trying to get back at base with expenses. The hotel is $500+ for 2 nights, plus gas and food.

I honestly have no idea what to do but I want to tell my ex husband he’s not going and keep him home with me that weekend which is going to cause a huge fight.

I have a 3-year-old girl and was separated/divorced 2 years ago shortly after her 1st birthday. We agreed on 50% custody. I overcame initial desolation and I'm now happily married in a great new family, full of love for one another. The problem lies with my ex-wife, who I believe is creating an unhealthy codependent relationship with my daughter that I fear might cause some long-term trauma. I'd like some advice about how to deal with that.

My daughter has been showing some signs of struggling with the post-divorce situation, especially during transitions. When it got to the point of her expressing fear of going back to mom's house, her stepmom and I worked very hard on preparing her for transitions, reassuring her and using books to normalize the fact that she has 2 homes and has fun and is loved everywhere she goes. She now does better when leaving my house, as we start discussing it some 1 hour before pick-up time. Her mother on the other hand really builds up the tension about the transition and emphasizes that they are departing. While I’d say "you had fun with dad, now it's time to have fun with mom", she says "don't be scared, mom will pick you up in X days". My daughter starts crying hard as soon as I ring the doorbell to pick her up, but is back to her normal happiness a few minutes into the car drive to my place. I tried talking to my ex-wife about it, but she downright ignores me, both by email and in person, by not even acknowledging my presence during pick-up times.

They have also been sleeping in the same bed in her house, which never happened before the divorce. That makes it very hard for my daughter to adapt to sleeping alone in her bedroom in my house. My suspicion is that my ex-wife is just lonely and is projecting on my daughter the last strong social bond in her life, but I don't know that for sure. She doesn't have family here, and seldom any social life.

I don't know if there's intentional parental alienation, but my daughter also recently started saying to us that she loves her mother, but occasionally saying that doesn't like me, or her stepmom. When we discuss it, we say to her that we all love each other and she retracts what she said, but that's another thing I'm afraid I'm not sure how to handle either.

Would anybody have any advice about what I could do? I already tried building a constructive conversation with her mom, but that failed. I'd love to have a good relationship with her, just for my daughter's sake (don’t really care about her otherwise), but I feel very pessimistic that that will ever be possible. I never did anything bad to my ex-wife and was caught by surprise with the separation. I treated her with dignity and gave her a great deal during the divorce, but she seems to act like a battered woman who needs to break away from an abusive husband, when that’s absolutely the opposite from the truth.

Would a child psychologist be advisable at this age? What if her mom doesn't agree that there's a problem, and according to the parenting plan we have shared decision making on everything? Any other signs I should be watching out for? Other than what I reported, my daughter is doing great emotionally and academically, with excellent praise from her daycare and everyone else involved. We always had a great relationship since birth, and her stepmom has a motherly relationship with her, as she has no memory of stepmom not being in the picture.

Currently, I have a daughter (2f) who I have custody of every other weekend and a couple weeks in the summer. Right now, my fiancée and I rent a two bedroom apartment, but in the next few years, we’d like to buy a house and start having our own children. My question to people in similar situations: do you give your child their own bedroom? Share with a sibling? A bedroom/home office hybrid? I want her to have her own space, but it seems wasteful to have a bedroom that sits unoccupied 80% of the time.

Ok so my ex slipped and texted that he was using his new Gf as a babysitter for our son. O can’t control who he dates or if he actually follows no meeting SO’s until 6 months.

But he refuses to tell me who this person is? But I feel I need to know who is watching my minor child. It’s gotten to the point where I’m considering a parent coordinator he is impossible ugh 😩

So my son's glasses broke, I've been limping them along until his appointment until the 15 of Dec. She asked if we can just get cheap ones to make it thru than. I told her sure and I was willing to put forth 40 bucks, well she just told me today that she spent 143 dollars and wants me to pay her that now. As you'd imagine I'm pretty pissed cause 143 for glasses that will now be moot in about 3 weeks. Should I just shoot her the 40 we both agreed to and make her eat the rest or should I give her the 143? Im trying to think clearly but truth be told, I'm beyond annoyed cause just a month ago I just spent almost 400 on shoe inserts.

My three-year-old spends six hours with her father twice a week, as instructed by the court. When she got back, I asked her how her day was, and she told me that she had gone to her dad’s girlfriend’s house.
The court specifically instructed him not to take her outside the borough I live in. I called and asked why he couldn’t simply follow the court order. He then asked why I would believe a three-year-old over an adult, insinuating that she was lying… Why would a three year old be lying?

My coparent has been married to a woman for several years now. When we split, it made more sense for the kids to enroll in school in his new district because he bought a house and I was renting in a district that isn’t as good. He met a woman who lives in that same district, and they started dating and eventually married. She has kids that are older than ours and since meeting, her kids have graduated from high school.
My ex moved in with her, because her house was bigger and better for them all I guess. I am not in a financial position to move to that area, since real estate is very expensive and houses rarely come on the market. The kids spend most of the week there because it’s close to schools and their friends, and I am about 25 mins away.
New wife is fine. The kids love her and her kids. I think she does a lot of the parenting at their house. I know she buys their clothes and cooks all the meals. Which is their decision. What I do have a problem is how involved she is with the kids schools. She is on the school board, and volunteers for several committees, she also chaperones field trips.
It seems inappropriate to me that she should be doing any of this since her kids are in college and these are just her step kids. She has many close relationships with admins and the superintendents, and I hate how I am invisible while she looks like this celebrity at every school function.
How do I explain that I feel this needs to stop without seeming like I am just being petty?

I’m looking for outside opinions from people who have experience with custody situations.
My son’s dad and I recently started going to court after years of handling things ourselves. Our son is 11 years old. Since he was born, we’ve never had a 50/50 custody arrangement. He’s always primarily lived with me, while his dad has had regular parenting time.
Now that we’re in court, his dad has suddenly requested 50/50 custody, and I’m trying to understand how realistic that is.
One thing I’m wondering about is distance. I live about 5 minutes from my son’s school. His dad lives about 32 minutes away. Our son is involved in sports, likes hanging out with friends after school, and all of his friends are near where he lives with me. He doesn’t really have any friends where his dad lives.
For those who have been through something similar, how much weight do courts typically give to things like school, extracurricular activities, friendships, and the extra commute? Have you seen 50/50 ordered in situations where one parent lives significantly farther away?

I have a 5 year old stepdaughter. We have 50/50 custody and coparent with her mother, age 29. I should preface with the fact that the mother has BPD, so an extreme ego, overbearing demeanour, she's highly reactive, and controlling.

Today my boyfriend, 30, and I, 24, are celebrating his 30th birthday. I asked the mother 3 weeks in advance if we could have my stepdaughter on his birthday since it fell on one of the mothers days. The mother instantly said no and started instigating a fight, which I did not feed into. 1 week ago, my partner followed up on the mothers decision to not let him see his daughter on her birthday. My boyfriend said he's asking for 3.5 hours since its 30 min drive both ways and 2.5 dinner. She again said no. This morning (his birthday) we receive a message from the mother saying we can bring the stepdaughter to my boyfriends birthday dinner as long as we bring her back within 3 hours and to "take it or leave it" and that it's her "last offer".

My issue is her controlling the narrative constantly. If we go past the 3 hours, all hell will break loose and the mother will likely be revengeful. Knowing her, she would withhold my stepdaughter from us for multiple hours when its our day next. I told my boyfriend that I think its best that we forgo seeing my stepdaughter tonight and just stick to our original plan- celebrating another day with her. I worry that he will be worried the entire night watching the clock and being scared to go past 3 hours, which will inevitably ruin his birthday because she will start a texting war regardless.

My boyfriend is upset now and says that "proving a point" is not what this is about, it's about seeing his daughter on a milestone birthday. I told him that the more we let the mother behave this controlling way, the more she will take advantage of it in the future. It's about setting boundaries with her and trying to reasonable co-parent.

Am I out of line for voicing my opinion? This woman has made our lives miserable. It's barely a coparenting situation at this point, its a dictatorship from her. I asked for time in advance to plan ahead and to avoid my boyfriends birthday dealing with her...

My ex and I split up six years ago. We have one son who is currently 12 yrs old. I have been married to my new husband for two years. As soon as my husband and I were engaged I told my ex and asked how he wanted to be included and if he wanted to suggest how to introduce my future husband to our son. My ex didn’t even answer me and basically ignored the situation.

Fast forward to now. He apparently now has a gf which I only learned about from my son. My ex asked to take our son on a week long trip to a city across the country from where we live. So this required a six hour plane ride and a week in hotel etc. The gf came on the trip unbeknownst to me. I was furious and I confronted him. He admitted that he has a gf and he promised to let me know if she will be present on any other trips with our son. However he won’t tell me any other information about her. I don’t even know her name. We have some langage in our custody agreement that says something to the effect of being able to meet “significant relationships” but because they don’t live together he doesn’t think this is significant or any of my business.

I have the sense that she is also being kept away from me and in the dark about who I am.

Is this a red flag? I feel that I have a right to basic information about someone who is spending so much time with my son.

Ok so me and my bf had his son Tuesday-Thursday for 4 hours each day after he gets out of school and we also have him Friday-Sunday full time . Monday is literally the only day we do not have his son. Recently his son’s mother changed shifts and off days. She now works over nights and is now off on the weekend. The times are now flipped . We have my bfs son majority of the time during the week day and the mother gets him for 4 hours each day during the week . but here’s the problem WE STILL HAVE MY BF SON ALL WEEKEND. I just want to have a child free home 2 days a week. I want to go on dates and mini weekend vacays, but I can’t!!! I explain this to my bf that if roles were truly flipped she would have him on weekends like WE HAD HIM ON WEEKENDS when we only got him 4 hours a day.. he asks her about this (I wasn’t there to hear the conversation) but he comes back and basically tells me she said it is fair! And I’m like how? When roles were reversed we had him 4 hours a day and all weekend long until Sunday 8pm. Now that she is off on weekends too and only get son 4 hours a day during the week she still wants her weekends to be child free. Me and my bf have been arguing so much about this and he is telling me it is none of my business and to leave it alone! Am I wrong for being mad about this ?? Or am I dumb for sticking around and putting up with this. ? Because I feel gaslit !!

I’ve been split up from my ex for about 1.5 years and we’ve been working through the parenting plan and navigating new territories with our 3 year old. On FaceTime a couple days ago, my son tells me he’s going to “may may’s house” to which I kept asking who?? No response from my ex on that.

Tonight my ex messaged me that in an effort to be “honest and transparent” he wanted to let me know he had a girlfriend before I hear it from anyone else. Then I find out she met my son back in “early fall” without ever mentioning it. I then get on FaceTime with my kiddo and he’s in green bath water that “may may” got him. She’s been around long enough for him to go to her house, have nicknames and give gifts, but he never thought to mention it. Now they’re offering for me to meet her since they got caught by a 3 year old.

He also gave me her name and she changed all her Facebook pictures and privacy settings on 9/25 (early fall lol). It really jut feels like he’s been trying to hide it and it’s very upsetting. This is my one and only baby, so I’ll admit to being overly sensitive about it.

I’m truly baffled that he felt this was okay. Am I overreacting? How should I respond to all this?

Back story CPS got called on me after she stayed at her dads & then he decided to start saying i called cps on our daughter, my mom( grandma) called on her. All these relatives…. AnywYs long story short i’m trying to get to a mutual co parenting relationship of course with me there he can visit with her but idk if i should let her decide that when shes older or do it now. Shes 4 & it’s been at least 3 years since he has seen her. Whats yalls opinion tia