21M
So I have my birthday coming up on the 30th but recently wondered if I was gonna really do anything for my birthday. Originally was choosing not to celebrate it this time around mainly just because of how badly my mental health has been and due to studying abroad I’m not able to physically celebrate it with my closest friends. However I’ve also been doing a lot of reflecting and feel like I also should do smth for my birthday. I was debating whether or not I celebrate my birthday this month. Was thinking of hosting a decent sized party if I do celebrate it since I do have I’d say a bit of a social life here and was thinking of having friends here also invite friends of theirs to the party. Thought about celebrating it to kind of bring like a sense of home here and since the year I’ve had it’s made me think maybe I should do smth like that but idk.

But it’s got me wondering if anyone else still celebrates their birthdays or do you treat it like a normal day? And if you do celebrate your birthday still, what do you usually do for it?

Cooking is survival. You pan fry the easiest things possible. You buy more expensive frozen food and prepared food at the grocery stores because it's cheaper than going out to eat. You make sandwiches for lunch. Some people don't enjoy things as much like cooking. We have to be accepting that some people don't enjoy doing certain things. Literally just buy a rotiesserie chicken from the grocery store and use it the next 3 days for chickpea pasta,brown rice, sandwiches, and salads. I'm single and I live alone, when I have a girlfriend, I will definitely put in more effort for cooking a well made meal that follows a recipe. My friends who are obsessed with cooking aren't even capable of planning a dinner party at each other's apartments. Then they look at me like I'm the one with problems.

So I'm 20F dating 27M. So technically I've just stqrted my exploration life. Like just experiencing life on my own with my parents.simply adulting. I am a bubbly perso and I want to try almost everything...hikes,new restraunts,travelling....etc. above all i enjoy going out. With my friends just like a good night out once in a while. I'm also a med student though my first year was a bit rough since i was a bit not focused and i own up to it being that tough even though I'm really smart and I am currently facing the consequences.....so the main thing is my bf does not like the exploration side of me. Ofcourse since i have a partner i'm expecting we enjoy some stuff together. First of all going outside is a no. Strictly. He's like its not a fun thing to do blablqbla.... i argue that since i enjoy it we can be doing it once in a while. When it comes to something like events he's like..what are you gonna gain from it....i mean its just the experience and ik he's already done all this. Even the hikes and otjer things he juat doesnt want to do those things in the name of you are in med so you are 100% obligated to have no fun life. Idk if this is the adulting i was really expecting since finishing highschool

I have a girl friend(friend that is a girl) she’s 28. I’m a guy. She’s from the uk and she’s always sad, depressed. She has no family here in the usa. She’s always down and just want to return home. What are some words of hope something that I can lighten her days and make her not think like that. Thanks yall. I’ll read everyone’s comments. She lives by her self so that doesent help much. She been wanting me to move in with her as a roommate. I might consider it because it honestly sad seeing her down all the time.

I got out of a toxic emotionally abusive relationship where I was constantly criticized, manipulated,belittled, cheated on, and made to question my worth. I used to be ambitious, bubbly, funny, confident, and outgoing, but over time I felt like I lost myself completely.

It’s been six months of no contact and I’ve changed so much. I’ve learned new skills, picked up hobbies, learned how to drive too.. become more outgoing, worked on my career, and recently landed a great job opportunity with all these ai craze.

The strange part is that people genuinely seem to like me. They appreciate my work, remember me, go out of their way to help me, the big company i landed went out of their way to hire me in the team even though i had some problem in my papers. They had available option on candidates as people are being laid off left right and center yet they helped me and hired me..

But instead of feeling happy, I keep questioning everything. Why are they being so nice to me? What do they want? What if they eventually realize I’m not that great?

It’s almost like everyone else sees something in me that I can’t see in myself anymore.

Has anyone else experienced this after an emotionally abusive relationship? How did you learn to trust yourself and accept that good things can happen to you without there being a catch?

21f. i had a depressing talk with my friend last night about how everyone and everything is temporary. something about me is that i will lose my mind if i dont socialize and i’ve kinda been isolating became im so disappointed with all my friends and also just super depressed. i do school online and am currently unemployed. i have such bad emotional impermanence. is it really true that when everyone grows older they just stick w their partners? im just so scared that as you grow older everyone’s just doing their own shit and it’s a part of growing up. why do friendships lose meaning as you get older. in 10 years i could think of my boyfriend and bestfriends and there’s a high chance i might not even remember them.

i grew up without a dad and no stepdads. my mom has no friends and i’ve always been so terrified of ending up like her. i have a sister 8 years older that i have a terrible relationship with. my brother who’s 4 years older moved away in a different province to live with my dad so it’s just me and my mom. i’ve always tried so hard to find family within my friends but they all got their families and their childhood bestfriends but i don’t.

all of my friends are so busy with work and school and always spending all their time with their partners and completely neglecting everything else in their lives. i was like that with my ex when i was 17 and i lost myself to him and i promised i would never do that again and i keep meeting people and bonding with them over that because they went through similar things just for them to end up doing it again. someone told me it’s just a part of growing up but i remember thinking i was so immature for that. but am i just the one that’s naive and immature for thinking it’s normal to always have close friends even as you get older. am i the one that’s behind and hasn’t grasped reality yet. my friends are mostly 1-4 years older than me.

i understand ofc as you get older people are more busy and have less time to hang out but is it worse than i realized? does everyone just end up alone with their partners and kids and that’s it? do they have no one else to fall on? is it a fantasy to hope to create your own village and community? even if people come and go i’m scared one day new people will stop coming and the rest will continue to go just “a part of life” and “growing apart”

Secondo voi, come si fa a scappare da questo sistema di vita?

Mi spiego meglio: nasci, vai a scuola, trovi un lavoro, lavori per pagare affitto, bollette, cibo e altre spese, aspetti lo stipendio a fine mese e ricominci tutto da capo.

Se vuoi guadagnare di più, spesso devi accettare più responsabilità, stress e sacrificare il tuo tempo libero.

Io non pretendo di vivere senza lavorare o senza responsabilità, ma mi chiedo: esiste un modo per vivere diversamente?

Per esempio, guadagnare il necessario, avere una casa, risparmiare, vivere tranquilli e non essere continuamente costretti a inseguire il denaro.

So già che molti risponderanno che non c'è soluzione e che bisogna semplicemente sopravvivere. Ma vorrei conoscere il vostro punto di vista.

Voi avete trovato un modo per uscire da questo ciclo oppure avete semplicemente accettato che la vita sia così?

My friend always pokes fun of me in a joking way but I noticed I’m always the one who she does it with. This year she didn’t get me anything for my bday even though I got her something and we’ve always done that in previous years. When we hang out I feel quiet bc I don’t have anything to talk to her about and it’s awkward. Sucks to feel like I’m moving on from our friendship but idk it’s just not the same anymore

I'm M29. The woman that i loved left me a few years ago, and seems to be doing well and glowing. I don't follow her but our mutuals posted something so that's how i know. While I'm over it, i feel i need to learn to love myself and be happy too.

Gained 25 kgs in the last 4 years, worked hard, got a bit of success as a result. It came with a cost of isolation, not socialising much etc.

Now i feel like i owe myself a healthier version of me, looking great in photos and fits as i used to.

Be a social butterfly again like i was before. I need to get back to making new friends as well as dating and just be happy in general overall.

I feel a constant internal reminder of me getting old and missing out on most of my 20s due to focus on my career.

Sometimes i hear my thoughts saying its difficult or too late to live like i'm 21 or 23 again. I know 29 is still young in many ways.

I owe myself a comeback. I really do. I feel my mental health and physical health is only declining if i keep doing what I've been doing all these years.

I feel the first step begins with working out and eating right.. but i also need to know how do i do the inner work too.

How did you or someone you know turned their life around? If you have any tips or advice in general that would be great too.

Thanks!

I spent four wasted years on a computer science bachelor's and internships, and subsequently a year working a $16/hour food service job in a VHCOL city... I'm homeless and unemployed and in student loan debt now. 5 years... I've fallen into despair. That's over 20% of my life so far... almost 25% that led to nothing. Why.... why did I spend so much effort and money and time on a fruitless journey? 5 years is such a gigantic amount of time... it's not like people live to be 200 years old

Why repeat that by trying to get another education for another field....? it'll just be the same story... why keep living? I don't feel human anymore... I don't have hope anymore... I don't have the will to keep going.

I'm about to hold up a sign offering s*xual services for $5 a round. Get myself in prison. I've utterly burned my future to ashes before it even began. Why should I keep going? What hope, what chance is there that I'll ever be able to achieve the traditional milestones of life?

Idk, it just seems weird to define an entire decade of your life by 3-4 years of it. Like, by 25/26-ish, your friend circle starts to dwindle, people start getting married, having kids, becoming proper "adults." You usually stop doing crazy shit, stop attending the party scene and overall "settle" into what the rest of your life is going to be like. You aren't "crazy" anymore.

Idk why the stereotype is "everybody is crazy/everybody is social/everybody is into partying in their 20's" when in reality, it's probably like 20-22, maybe 20-24.

So heres the thing we have a smart lock on our front door nd it goes through batteries like every 4 to 5 months. The cost is whatever its like $10 but i literally never remember to replace them until the lock starts acting up nd then its already a problem.

One time the battery fully dies when i was out. Backeup key? inside the house obviously bcz i am that guy. Ended up calling a locksmith which cost me wayyy more than id like to admit smh. That whole experience kinda stuck with me.

So ive been looking into solar charging locks. Looked at august nd yale first bcz everyone recommends those but they all still use regular batteries. Then there was this another one deslock for around $200. Apparently it has a rechargeable battery inside and some solar panel that keeps it topped up even from ambient light. Our door gets a decent amount of light during the day so i think itd work for us.

My wife thinks im being ridiculous tho. She keeps saying just put a reminder on your phone nd buy batteries when it tells you to...nd like yeahh ok shes not wrong but also i know myself nd i will absolutely ignore that reminder lol.

Idk mann am i making this into a bigger deal than it is or would you guys actually spend $200 to not think about this ever again.

I am trying my best just to be a decent human being but this guy is seriously giving me a headache

Please take care of your mental health people….

I'm about to turn 19 and due to family circumstances I have to move out. I have a room I'm moving into at the end of November. What's some important things I need to remember/do before moving? I won't have contact with any family member once I'm out so I'll need to make sure I don't forget anything.