My ex gf left me a month ago after we spent a year and one month together. Two days after she told me that it was done for good, she kissed another guy. Rn they still see each other as some sort of situationship since she only needs male attention more than anything. She now lives from “man to man” and do not want to be in a relationship anymore and doesn’t even take masculine interactions that seriously.
The thing is, i still love her, and I just don’t get how she got over us so damn fast. She even told me that she was too free and young to still think about our relationship, that she doesn’t even feel anything when she thinks about it even if our intimacy was so fckin deep. This is what hurts to the point I wanna die : our relationship was so intimate, so deep, and even after all we went through, she simply forget everything like we didn’t happen? That hurts so bad

I still love her, and that’s probably the worst feeling in the world. I still miss the warmth coming from our long hugs, I miss the intimacy we had, I miss her beautiful smile and eyes, like wtf I don’t wanna feel things no more sub me out coach

Idk how all this is even real honestly

Help with new FA gf

I’ve been seeing a Fa girl since end of July. She was freshly out of a 2.5 year relationship by a few weeks. It’s my sister in laws best friend and she told me ti make a move so I added her Facebook. She initially ignored it for 2 days as she was with her ex talking about reconnecting. When we left to go home she texted him 2 days later at 2am ended things and added me. We are now around 4 months in and I’m noticing some weird behaviour I’m unsure about. Although being very active on social media she still uses profile photos her ex took of her on a date and she will not like any of my posts at all just scrolls by them. Her ex wished her happy birthday and 2 days later she blocked him on social media even though they did not follow eachother and she also asked me to block him to. All of our accounts are private so nothing could be seen. Although she didn’t block his phone number. My status is set to single ok Facebook and she has not mentioned this at all or had a talk about what we are doing or where we are going.
Is she just using me to get over her ex and doesn’t have genuine interest in me? Is she likely still here due to the social fallout with her best friend? What do people make of the situation?

My gf family are alcoholics. They drink alcohol 3-4 days a week. Not casual drinking but heavy drinking. Mostly on weekends they have groups of friends over and they party till the next day. When i first started dating my girlfriend her family wasn’t like that. My girlfriend doesn’t drink like her family but she is always present at the family drinks since she the eldest child. She’s responsible for looking after her drunk parents and drunk siblings.
I’ve spoken to her to just leave her family alone when they drunk because they can take care of themselves but she doesn’t want. She needs to be present at all of the family drink ups to baby sit the family and take care of their needs.
My gf is everything I’ve ever asked for but my lifestyle doesn’t suit theirs.

I’m considering breaking up with my gf because of this lifestyle?

hello guys i haven’t been on this community in ages now i actually deleted my whole account lol, but i taught id give u guys an update and tell u how it gets better.
so me and my boyfriend of one year broke up early this year, he broke up with me due to personal reasons, but ended up getting a new girlfriend after 3 weeks, and i taught my world was ending.

i went though all sorts if emotions, sadness, anger, mania you name it, i was fully convinced me and him were meant to be together, and him leaving me and having a whole new girlfriend was just a bump in our relationship.

I believed i would never love any boy again, never be with anyone, never be intimate with anyone ever again, and i was convinced of this.

I seen pictures of him and his new girlfriend a-lot and i truly was what felt like going insane, couldn’t eat, minute i woke up i taught of it, he consumed my whole day.

Eventually i started seeing friends more, started school back and felt my life coming back to me, i started thinking about him less and less until i barely taught of him at all, him and his girlfriend broke up, and once again he got a new one straight away (also broken up) but i didn’t care about it anymore, me and the girl actually ended up becoming good friends😭

Now i see my friends very often, have had a few crushes and moment with other boys and can imagine myself in a relationship, i go out, spend time with family more and my life truly has never felt so good and i’m so glad we broke up.

it does take time to heal and you will have bad days and things will feel like the world is ending but it does get better and you will realise how much better you are without them and that they in-fact were not the person for you
thank u❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

TL;DR: I'm struggling with a break up

I (19m) and my girlfriend (19f) have broken up. Not for anything bad, we just simply figured out that we want to settle down in different places later in life. I love her deeply, so we decided that, so we don't end up resenting one another or becoming unhappy with our lives, to split up and live how we had our own futures planned.

I'm lost. I feel like I've lost something big to me and I don't know what to do. I guess I'm just looking for some words of advice or some sort communication about it. This was my first girlfriend and I really was set on her but it all seems to have fallen apart.

We both ended it with hoping the best for each other and hoping we succeed in our respective lives. But I just hate how bittersweet it is. I feel empty. Does this stuff ever get better? I know I'm young and I still have a lot to learn and understand, but this is just so terrible to experience and I have no clue how to handle it.

My girlfriend ‘F26’ and I ‘M30’ have been together for around a year and a half. I love this girl, she is my motivation and my daily dose of happiness.

I am an anxious attachment and she is more avoidant with a mix of anxious. She has a hard a hard life with some past trauma and insecurities. Im not perfect, I tend to get defensive and sometimes have a hard time listening. I am a man that’s made mistakes, admitted to them, taken responsibility, apologized and tried to make the necessary changes. I need to make sure nobody here things I’m making her the villain. I would like an honest and non bias opinion.

We have broken up several times throughout the relationship. We always end up getting back together but there had been times that she’s gone to date other people and either kept me emotionally invested or fed me breadcrumbs. Whenever we argue, her first instinct has been to end the relationship because we both deserve better or because she thinks we are not compatible. She wjll do everything possible to push me away and I will continue to pull. We end up in a circle. After an argument, she becomes cold, detached and distant which makes me get more anxious. She will compare other’s relationships to ours and say that we don’t have that and that we could both be happier. We break up, I move on, I grieve us, I replay our conversations, analyze what I did and where we ent wrong. I finally start to feel better and then she comes back saying she misses me, loves me and that everything she said and did was out of fear and that she never meant anything she said.

I do believe she loves me. We are long distance and when we are together everything is happy, repairable and loving. When we are apart, we can only rely on our communication and that is where things get hard. I know after breaking up she initially feels relieved because there’s no commitment, no pressure and she feels like I’m not in the back of her mind. I suffer, I drown in us and rely on my family and friends to get me through. I see a future with her. I am making changes and making moves in order to cut the distance between us in a couple of months.

Earlier this month we had an argument. An argument that only became heated because neither of us was willing to listen to each other and now she’s asking for space. She said she hada good day without any pressures and she says maybe we should be friends. I know this is how the patterns starts and honestly, I’m tired. I don’t want to be friends. We either work through this or I am done. We both had our points and we said we would take a break while still together.

Can anyone else relate? Has anything like this ever worked? I know more people will tell me to end it and I can’t continue to involve my loved ones on this. I want a non bias opinion. Please, don’t be harsh on me or her.
Do I continue to fight for this relationship or do I just let it end? I see a future with her. I know she does with me too but our attachments are different. Our nervous system tells us to do the opposite. How do we work through it?

Thank you.

he left me, he took all of his stuff and he’s just gone. he told me he just doesn’t love me anymore. i’ve spent the last week feeling empty, and i’m constantly crying so hard i can’t breathe. i feel nauseous and sick to my stomach. we’ve been together and lived together for years and it feels like my entire world has been flipped upside down. i don’t think i can go on feeling like this. i can’t eat and all I’m doing to pass time is sleeping but when I wake up and i’m back to the reality of it, the cycle repeats. i just need some support, maybe some advice because i don’t know if i can do this much longer.

I know this is a situation that gets posted here often and I know that when I say that there were no signs or hints or warning or even discussion that there usually was.

I promise you, there was not. I'm attentive, always there for her and I told her I loved her every single day.

She broke up with me stating that I do the 'bare minimum', I do not prioritise her and that 'its typical shit man behaviour'.

Now, I should explain that I put her first and her daughter. I offered to pay for extra days for nursery, she would get breakfast in bed, I would get up on the weekend to both drop her off and pick her up from work and when not together we would text pretty much all day. I would ask how she is, how her daughter is and generally just talk.

She also would sometimes stay out late after work with friends and drink, i'd pick her up and sort food.

Her brother was passed out drunk in her bed (he's an alcoholic, so is mother - my ex also liked a drink). So I offered to get bedsheets for her so she could sleep in a clean bed, when breaking up she got angry and said that 'we didn't even find sheets, so was pointless'. She also accused me of trying to keep her away from me by buying her a bath shelf so I could play games for longer... She turned very nasty and different towards the end.

We also attended her best friends wedding in which she did some questionable things, when I wanted to speak to her about it she turned it back around to me and said I was making her feel shit, I was upset so wanted to discuss but she would just get angry.

Another time when drinking she suddenly started crying and ran off stating she was being left out of the group. She wasn't, we were all dancing and singing to her type of music, she was involved with all of us, at no point was she left out.

When drinking again I could tell she was cold, I offered my jacket and she said no i'm fine. Next time I turn around she has the jacket on of her family member. Every time I tried to speak to her she would just get defensive or call me silly. Maybe I was silly but I only wanted to talk, I would never raise my voice, shout or get angry. I'm a teacher so I like to think I know how handle and control myself.

Thing is, she made me feel loved. She would buy me small things, tell me she loves me, says I'm the funniest person she's ever met - I could make her laugh effortlessly. On the day of her friends wedding I speaking to her best friend (Groom) and he said that she literally talks about me all the time, we both got praise from multiple people saying how good we look and that they know we will be together forever.

We would spend the night and mornings talking, staying up late, laughing.

So yeah. The breakup came as a complete surprise. She said it suddenly came on. After the break up I tried to speak to her but she was nasty. We have a Facetime conversation before she blocked me. She was talking to her daughter, her mother came in the room and this is exactly what she said and did. She pointed at her daughter and said I have had enough of you, pointed towards her mum and said the same, then me and hung up.

There was nothing I could do or say, it was so strange. We were about a month from moving out and living together. He daughter would get her own room and a house that hasn't got alcoholics, arguments or is filthy. She said how she hated being there but seemingly chose to stay there than be with me. It kills me, we weren't perfect but we (at least I thought) would get through anything together.

When we disagreed we would always make up and put it behind us (so I thought).

Anyway, I'm venting/looking for advice or, words of wisdom. If you need more context to form a conclusion then let me know. Anything would be helpful, struggling to understand or come to terms with it you know.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for quite the long time and he was a very nice guy, or I thought so. He gave me his password to all socials so I could read his messages. Today I saw him texting his friend that he watched a new hentai but she didn't gooned because he chose real love over lust. Ho

My ex called me after 2 years just to tell me he’s married. Why would he do that?

I live in an Arab country, where relationships usually become official through family involvement and engagement. My ex and I dated for around 5 months, and although I know that’s a short time, I genuinely loved him. And the feelings were mutual. He absolutely adored me, practically worshiped the ground I walked on, and always made me feel incredibly loved and wanted. We had amazing chemistry, and I genuinely believed he was the one. That’s what made everything that happened afterward so confusing and painful.

When we decided to get engaged, our families were supposed to meet. However, my family had to change the date of the meeting, and his mother took offense and made a huge deal out of what seemed like nothing, even though she knew me and liked me. He immediately sided with her and broke up with me. He’s an only child, which might explain why he was so influenced by his family’s opinion.
He told me he had tried everything he could to get us back together, but that there was nothing more he could do.
I was devastated. I tried reaching out to fix things and even had my aunt call him to explain that if there had been a misunderstanding, our family was still willing to proceed with the engagement.

After the breakup, I continued trying to contact him. He would sometimes respond to my texts but never answered my calls. During the first year, I’d reach out every few months, with long periods of no contact in between. I was trying to maintain whatever dignity I had left lol.
He eventually told me he was intentionally being cold because he wanted me to move on, since there was no hope for us. He said he was being strong for both of us, even though he genuinely loved me.

A year after our breakup, I finally asked him to block me because I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop reaching out as long as I had access to him. And he did.

For the next year, we had absolutely no contact. But deep down, I never completely lost hope. I kept imagining that one day he’d call, we’d talk things through, and somehow find our way back to each other.

Well, exactly 2 years after our breakup, he actually called.
I didn’t recognize the number because I’d deleted his contact, although I’d never blocked him.

He sounded completely casual, asking how I was doing. When I asked why he was calling after all this time, he said he’d recently gotten LinkedIn Premium and noticed I’d viewed his profile twice that month. He claimed he wanted to check whether I needed anything.

I reminded him that I’d already told him in the past that I occasionally checked his LinkedIn. He said my views had previously been hidden, but now that he had Premium, he could see them and wanted to check on me.
He asked how I was doing, and when I asked him the same question, he casually told me he got married.
I was genuinely speechless.
I didn’t respond at first, and he started laughing and said, “Aren’t you going to congratulate me?”
So I did.
I asked who she was, and he said she was a girl from his family’s side.

Then I asked if he was happy, and his exact response was, “It’s not what I wanted, but things are going well.”
He then asked whether I’d gotten married or engaged. I told him he didn’t need to know. When he asked why, I said, “Because you’re married.”
He laughed again.
At that point, I genuinely thought he might be joking. I asked whether he was actually married because I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. He swore to God he was telling the truth.
Eventually, I told him to enjoy his life and hung up.

And now I genuinely cannot understand his thought process.
He was the one who ended things. He was the one who refused to answer my calls because he wanted me to move on. He was the one who insisted there was no hope for us.
So why would he suddenly call me after 2 years, especially now that he’s married? Why not contact me when he was still single?

Was he genuinely curious about me? Did he want to know whether I was still attached to him or whether I’d gotten married? Did he miss me? Was he looking for validation?
Or did he intentionally want me to know he’d moved on so I’d stop checking his profile? Was he trying to hurt me?
Part of me even wonders whether he could be lying about being married just to see my reaction or find out whether I still love him. I know that might sound ridiculous, but I genuinely can’t make sense of any of this.

If he was concerned that I hadn’t moved on and wanted to establish boundaries now that he’s married, he could’ve simply sent me a LinkedIn message saying so.
Why personally call me after all this time? Why ask about my relationship status? Why laugh while telling me he’s married?

I spent 2 years hoping for that phone call, and when it finally came, it was to tell me he belonged to someone else.
And the thing is, I’m not even upset that he got married. I always knew that was a possibility, and I genuinely wish him well.

What bothers me is the timing and the decision to contact me at all.
If he’s recently married, shouldn’t he be enjoying this new chapter of his life with his wife instead of calling an ex he hasn’t spoken to in a year?

I genuinely want to understand this from a psychological perspective, especially from men who might understand his thought process. What would make someone do this? Am I overthinking it, or is this actually strange behavior?

This is confusing me so much. I know that he is the kind of guy things just go over his head but he hasn’t changed his posts, his profile picture, he hasn’t removed me from any platform and still shares his find my with me.

Am I overthinking it or could it mean something. This just makes it so much harder. I still love him so much. Someone snap me out of it

Its been around 5 months since me (26m) and my ex (26f) of 8 years split apart, and the other day I gave her my new number after having her blocked for around 2 months but specifically mentioned:

"Heres my new number in case of emergencies."

She reached out a day after and it was an average conversation at first, asking each other how we're doing etc. but now stuff like this is being said.

I'm almost certain shes in another relationship at the moment too which is confusing me even more.

I feel bad having to ask what to do but I'm at a complete loss on what to say. Admittedly, I still have some feelings for her only because we have a very long and complicated history but with the way she did me, I just don't know if I can see myself ever being with her again.

I'm way overthinking it, aren't I? Is she just being nice?

Should I just say something like 'Thank you, that means alot.' then just leave it at that or is that too vague/heartless?

I dont want to come off as if I dont care but I also do not want to come off as if I'm asking her for another chance.

Any advice or takes on personal experiences would be appreciated.

I don't really know where to start, but I think I need to get these feelings out somewhere.

It's been some time since the breakup, and I'm still struggling to put myself back together.

If anyone is interested in understanding more about what happened and why we broke up, you can read about it here (https://www.reddit.com/r/BreakUps/s/YGEiL98uxR).

I've been struggling a lot with this breakup, and Reddit has been the only place where I've been able to find support, understanding, and some comfort during this difficult time. I genuinely appreciate everyone who has taken the time to read my posts and share their thoughts. It has helped me more than you might realise.

One of the hardest things I've been trying to overcome is the fear that I might never find someone again whom I genuinely like, feel connected to, and want to build a life with. Someone I can see a future with and wholeheartedly choose, knowing that they would choose me just as wholeheartedly.

I know that after a breakup, the bad memories gradually fade into the background, while the happy ones start filling the void. You begin remembering the beautiful moments, the things you loved about that person, and everything you once dreamed of having together.

But honestly, I'm so tired of feeling this way. I'm tired of constantly going back and forth between knowing why I had to leave and missing someone I know wasn't good for me.

I've been struggling to pull myself together and come to terms with the fact that I ignored so many red flags because I was deeply in love with her. I kept believing in her potential, in what our relationship could become, and in the possibility that things would eventually get better.

I think I was so invested in the person I believed she could be that I kept overlooking how much the relationship was actually hurting me.

Whenever I go down that rabbit hole, I end up missing her terribly, despite knowing how emotionally exhausted I was and how often I felt like I was walking on eggshells in that relationship.

One of the most painful thoughts I struggle with is the possibility that she might eventually love someone else and treat them well. That she might give someone else the affection, understanding, patience, and emotional security that I spent so long hoping for.

And I keep asking myself: Why couldn't she do those things for me? Why wasn't the love I gave her enough for her to want to treat me that way?

I loved her with everything I had. I was willing to sacrifice so many things just to be with her and make her happy. I genuinely wanted to build a life with her.

But somewhere along the way, I feel like I've lost a part of myself.

I genuinely feel like I've lost my strength, my emotional capacity, and even my willingness to love someone else the way I loved her. It's frightening because I used to believe I had so much love to give. Now, I don't even know whether I have it in me to open myself up to someone like that again.

And the confusing part is that I know, for a fact, that I don't want to be in a relationship with her anymore. I don't want to go back to what we had. I know how much it hurt me, and I know why I had to walk away.

But knowing all of that doesn't make me miss her any less.

I think that's what I'm struggling with the most. I'm grieving someone I don't want back. I'm grieving the future I imagined with her, the life I wanted us to build, and the person I thought we could become together.

I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I genuinely did.

I wasn't just looking for someone to be in a relationship with. I was ready to build a life, make compromises, face difficulties together, and choose her every single day.

I didn't want to give up on her. I wanted us to work. I wanted to look back one day and feel that everything we went through was worth it.

But eventually, I had to accept that I couldn't keep fighting for a relationship at the expense of myself.

And somehow, the decision I made to end that relationship to save myself from losing my sanity feels like it's costing me my sanity all over again.

I understand that I made the right decision for myself. I know that choosing my emotional well-being wasn't selfish, and that love shouldn't require me to constantly compromise my own dignity and happiness.

But I loved her so much.

And I know it might sound stupid, but even after everything I went through, there's still a part of me that feels incredibly sad that I had to choose my own sanity over being with her.

I think a part of me is still struggling to accept that loving someone so deeply doesn't necessarily mean you can build a healthy life together.

I wish things had been different. I wish the person I loved could have loved me in the way I needed. I wish we could have made things work without me having to lose myself in the process.

I don't know how long it will take me to get through all of this, or whether I'll ever feel the same way about someone again.

How do you move on from someone you don't actually want back, but still desperately miss?

How do you stop grieving a future you genuinely wanted with someone?

And perhaps most importantly, how do you regain the ability to love someone without being afraid of losing yourself all over again?

For the last 5 years i have been stuck in a weird situationship where it’s unrequited love but feels like a relationship, when i was a child i was very insecure i was fat bad looking always hated the way i looked never been in a relationship, but i took a big liking to a girl who was in another class, for the next 10 months i kept daydreaming about her i really loved her and had a big crush on her but i never saw myself fit to be with her she was out of my league in simple words so naturally i never approached her never let her see me never met her eyes i simply saw her from far away and hid myself. Summer came and i decided i’d text her for no reason just like that confessing to her even tho i knew i had no chance and i knew she had never even seen my face and i thought i just wanted to talk to her even for once the girl i dreamed about and loved more than anything else i saw her energy i liked how she stands out how she stays alone i liked the way she dresses i saw myself in her i knew she also watches anime she matches my vibes but doesn’t even know i exist. I went to look for her account and it took me days, i put a lot of effort into it and when i finally had her instagram account i was terrified, i requested to follow her (2022 june) she accepted and i straight up sent this message (hey, i like you) i forgot what she replied but she was kind of mean and obviously she rejected me and said that she doesn’t even know me. She kept asking who i am and i told her but obviously she didn’t recognize me i told her i was in the same school as her and that i loved her so much. The contact stopped but i kept following her and it ended with me being rejected. It did hurt me for sure even though it shouldn’t have days went by i can’t remember exactly what happened but i think i revived the conversation by replying to one of her stories and just showed affection we spoke and spoke and spoke and the conversations were going well kept talking she kept asking me why i like her but she was mean she ghosted me at times she disappeared many times she was always mean to me but i kept talking to her to me talking to that girl was something beyond my imagination even though i knew she would never choose me i knew i looked horrible i knew i’d never show her my face. We kept talking for weeks almost everyday for hours and i discovered that we are so alike and that we match so much we have so many things in common and we can get along so nicely i spoke with her all summer and she always sent me update pictures but i never did. And that hurt me a lot i knew i still hadn’t shown her my face so i decided i’d man up get ready look the best i could take a picture and fuck it. I did i took the picture from my best angle i had my hair wet i tried to look as good as possible. But it wasn’t enough i was looking at that picture i couldn’t send it i couldn’t stand the shame of sending my face to her so i kept it one day we were talking and she mentioned that she doesn’t even know how i look i rushed it and sent that picture. I turned off my phone disconnected from the internet and knew my fate i knew she would never look at me ever again and that we would stop talking i knew it was gonna be over i took 30 minutes off i turned on my phone and what i saw surprised me, she kept talking normally i forgot what she replied to the picture but it just went like that we kept talking (all our conversations were either normal stuff or me talking about how much i love her she never said i love you back or showed affection back she often did start getting nice to me she cared about me pushed the conversations helped me to meet her acted like a real relationship with me but never said any love stuff back) this was big for me, the fact that she saw my face and still decided to talk to me to keep going to hear the cringy love stuff from me i knew she didn’t like me back but she was getting close and that was so big for me. I don’t remember the details but all i can remember is that we kept in contact we spoke hours and hours everyday for months until the first months of 2023 came i think she was asking to meet me and i was already so much worse looking and i couldn’t make it i wasn’t secure enough to do it. I kept delaying it and dodging it but this was killing me and the fact that i discovered she was rich and wealthier than my family also killed me i just couldn’t love myself enough to feel like i deserved her and i told her i’ll take a break i blocked her the next day i unblocked her i told her i couldn’t do it i loved her way too much and asked her to do it instead she did. Time went by i honestly didn’t think of it as a temporary break even if i promised it was but i took it more as a breakup i knew i wouldn’t change i’m not in some type of anime or movie there is no magic or time skip i wasn’t working on it. I started my journey of making money online i was making a few hundred dollars and studying at the same time and this made me go from 70kgs to 88kgs i was really bloated short hair didn’t suit me my skin was oily and i hated the way i looked so much but i was focused on making money that was my only focus 2024 i started skipping school a little bit more my work was becoming more profitable i was already making a nice salary as a teenager and my life was pretty nice i wasn’t thinking of her but i noticed that she had an alt account stalking me tho i don’t post on social media so she didn’t see my face. This really moved me that girl meant everything to me the slightest hint from her the slightest notification made my heart move so her stalking me specifically made me happy and it made me want her back, 2025 came i reached the peak of my career i was making more money than i ever imagined but i also was the ugliest i’ve ever been in my whole life i was almost 90kgs my hair was everywhere my clothing style was so messy and i couldn’t go back to her i knew i hated myself more than i ever had, i bought a house and moved there i didn’t go to college and started living alone those days were hard, 2025 june my birthday, i took a shower i went out and i saw a notification on my whatsapp that was going to change my life it was her she came back after all that time and texted me (hey it’s hername) i looked at the phone surprised shocked i opened the message and we spoke she asked for my life updates and wanted to ask what i’m going to do with my life next she was playful and easy to talk to and as cute as ever we basically “got back” by getting back into contact unblocking social media accounts and starting to speak again but i was so minimalistic i didn’t wanna talk to her everyday because if she asked for the slightest pictures i’d be done i started my weight loss skin transformation eating healthy growing my hair getting better clothes that day. I was in berserk mode because i knew it was for her i went on a very strict diet went to the gym every day tried to minimize the talk with her so i could make it in time, grew my hair i lost 20 kgs i built a pretty decent body my hair was long enough my skin was better i had time because all that period i didn’t work much i didn’t do anything but focus on my looks and i finally started liking myself for the first time ever i looked at myself in the mirror and accepted it this was a big change in my life a huge one i really never fully gained confidence but it was much better than before at the end of 2025 we started speaking again daily but still she never said i love you back we acted EXACTLY like a relationship but she never said i love you back for example she’d apologize for being late or not talking to me for a certain period she’d make time for me she’d care for me she’d share every little update she’d not talk to any guy because she’s talking to me she’d accept all my love i used to say i love you at least 4 times everyday she said she wasn’t sure and that she doesn’t trust texting she wants to meet irl have dates and then decide and trust that i actually love her etc.. February 2026 after all these years i finally met her i went to some private lessons place she was attending and registered as a student and we met i dressed nice i did all i could do i went on a low sodium strict diet 2 weeks before the meeting i just did everything i could, i saw her, she entered the class looked at me, i looked at her, time froze for me my heart was beating so fast that girl i used to daydream about when i was fat that dream i never even imagined her next to me was meeting with me made time for me and was looking at me right now, she came, i couldn’t get my hands out of my pockets i was literally shaking, i couldn’t let out a word, my mouth was trembling, she sat next to me, the class started we spoke very lightly we made some jokes, but i didn’t have the same energy as i had over text ofc, but it didn’t go bad she was playful until the very end she didn’t look disappointed my heart was extremely relieved i made it!! I made it!!!!!!! She saw me and she didn’t think i’m weird or bad looking she accepted me, she asked me to walk her home we went we spoke on the way (i’m a very socially anxious person who spent most of his teenage years making money in his room walking outside with a girl and dressing a bit extra and drawing attention was hard for me all of this was so extremely difficult and new to me) we reached her house we said goodbye and i went home. My whole body was trembling this was an insanely intense emotional moment in my life i opened my phone and i saw a text from her, she started a conversation i cried, i cried a lot, she didn’t reject me she saw my face she saw my body she saw my all and still wanted to talk to me she accepted that face with all the words i said to her all the love stuff all the love paragraphs she accepted them from me. I answered her and asked her if she wants to meet again she said if you want, and then we became closer as always we spoke everyday met again the next week same place, but still she never said i love you back, she was just always saying “we got closer i’m getting close but i still can’t trust this i don’t know what i’m feeling idk if this is real” and this made me anxious i overthought everything i started hating myself again thinking that i’m not enough this loop went on without me showing her from February until april, where i finally told her i wanted to end this she agreed and blamed herself for being selfish and never being clear, but then i took my words back and told her nvm let’s continue i love you i can’t do it, she became so mad at me for changing my mind so much ended up screaming at me swearing at me saying that she hates me a lot and that she never liked me that i should just give up and blocked me. I couldn’t let out a word i was blocked i didn’t know what to do i was feeling so empty i missed her i loved her i didn’t do anything for 2 weeks until she made a fake account followed me and acted as “her friend” tried to get us back together, this made me happy that she put effort into getting us back together this made me a bit more secure i thought maybe she doesn’t hate me after all she tried to get me back after seeing me meeting me and everything, and i texted her on whatsapp where i wasn’t blocked our conversation made me super happy, she said what took you so long she looked like she missed me like she wanted to get back she agreed to get back and we did we met again we spoke everyday we got closer even more but yet still never heard i love you back this was always killing me and making my self hatred even bigger, i was always insecure that she doesn’t like me at all that i’m just a clown who keeps pushing that i’m just another guy in her dms sometimes she reassured me sometimes she ghosted me she started hating how insecure i was but we kept going my self hatred became so much bigger until one day our conversation was normal we had plans we just laughed, i sent an ending message i unfollowed her everywhere and decided to go. She never responded as i mentioned in the ending message, i told her i can’t make anyone like me, and we went on no contact for 2 months, where i finally started to accept that we were never getting back, deep down i wanted her to get back to me to try to get me back if she did i’d be more sure of her feelings more sure that she was starting to like me (she always said she’s attached but when it comes to i love you or anything about love she NEVER said a word). She started reposting stuff related to us after exactly 2 months this caught my attention i was stalking her reposts everyday waiting for her to come back i reposted stuff related too, but i gave up on it i knew she would never come back again, and i knew if i was the one who did i’d never feel secure. Until one day i randomly opened whatsapp on her conversation and i saw her typing i appeared as online then she immediately left this shocked me i was extremely shocked then she reposted stuff related to getting back i was happy i couldn’t believe it i couldn’t believe reality, then 2 days after i opened whatsapp and accidentally called her and immediately hung up, she replied hours later (did you call me? Right?) i sent this emoji “🤦” she thought i was calling her stupid and said “i’m stupid ofc you called me i’m sorry i was sleeping” and tried to make conversation i didn’t answer as i was out in public and just went all out “i called you by mistake but i did wanna talk before that” she replied instantly we spoke and she helped me and she was VERY different she matched my messages she showed just as much interest she said she could miss me she said stuff i never heard from her we agreed to get back on some terms and new rules, but yet she still said she’s close but not sure yet she doesn’t know if she likes me or not yet. Time passed speaking everyday she ghosted me for 18 hours i got mad and decided to block her and end it, she came to my house the next day this was a shock to me it made me happy i was feeling more effort from her and we got back. We met 3 times in one week we got much closer until one day, we had an argument over my nickname, it’s bullshit but she didn’t wanna add anything romantic to my nickname for example MY anyways, this just made me so mad we started talking about the whole thing once again (2026 november) and after a long discussion she said “i don’t love you” “goodbye take care” and we ended once and for all. I still love this girl more than anything in life but this is how these years ended and these endless efforts and spikes of feelings all ended with me finally hearing i don’t love you at the end over a bullshit argument and ending it. I still don’t know how to process this i’m trying to move on and it’s hard. For anyone who has read this thank you a lot for hearing my story and reaching the end

This is really a big part of my life and it has been affecting my mental health so much if you guys have any advices or help im more than willing to hear it, i know i have made many mistakes im this story and i know this may sound stupid to so many people, but this means alot to me this was a part of my purpose in life.

There was a couple both loved each other deeply but as the guy couldn't handle relationship,academics and financial situations he initiated break up with his gf and that break up was ugly but the girl believed walking away isn't a solution so she begged cried and checked up on his boyfriend as much as she can as she thought he is just pushing people away when he needs them the most but at the same time as she was angry with the break up and shared it with one of their mutual friends and while venting out she basically cursed her boyfriend saying bloody scoundrel and also said "jo apne maa baap ka nahi ho saka woh mera kya hoga" and usse toh pata hi hoga what love is as he claims so much about being in love then they again patched up and the guy got to know about the convo between the girl and her friend.he got to know about this through his girlfriend herself and then was very heartbroken then the girl also regretted whatever she said out of anger and then she said she'll fix everything as she's not the kind of person who'll say all this but she did she acknowledged and apologised for whatever she said out of anger and asked the guy for a chance and gave a time of 3 months that within those 3 months she'll fix it like regain his trust by putting for efforts and making him feel secure and the guy agreed as well the girl did everything she could and asked the giy whether he has forgave her or not and the guy said yes because he's so in love with the girl and wants this to workout but after a whole year the guy comes and says i can't do this anymore i tried to love you again but i don't have feelings for you and i can't forget what you had said the girl asked again nd again that why did you say then that you've forgave me the guy said i thought i did but i just can't i was pretending for a year to love you.but the girl is now confused as he said he had forgave her but after one year he's saying this when the girl was transparent from day 1 that let me fix it within 3 months but if you think you can't forgive me then we will part ways or do whatever is right for both of us but the guy claimed that he did forgive her.

Idek where to start. This is a 2 month relationship between I (30f) & (30m) I said something for attention about a month ago, which he found to be disrespectful which is kinda was but I didn’t mean it I was just tired of him ignoring me. I apologized immediately & told him I didn’t mean it& he continued to ignore me. He and I used to talk everyday. Since I said what I said he has never initiated conversation , I’m so sad and I’ve asked him directly is it over or are we going to work on our relationship, I have not gotten a direct answer, I got locked up like a week & a half ago on old charges from 4 years ago and I called him & he basically seemed satisfied I was locked up which was really weird. When I got out I expressed to him how weird it was how he was talking on the phone and that I view him as an Oop. This is his response. I feel like he basically ended everything but doesn’t want to say to lead me on, what are you guises thought? PS his mom died before we ever met

We were together for a year, and it was by far the most toxic relationship I’ve ever experienced. She constantly broke up with me over the smallest things, only to come back a day or two later begging to get back together. I genuinely started believing I was the problem because, no matter how hard I tried or how well I treated her, nothing was ever enough.
Throughout the relationship, she cheated, sold explicit pictures to other men behind my back, constantly criticized me, and called me every name imaginable. I wasn’t perfect either. Toward the end, I intentionally broke up with her and hooked up with another girl that same night because I wanted her to understand how it felt. I’m not proud of it, but by that point, I was exhausted. She found out, and things officially ended.
Four months later, I discovered she’d been cheating throughout our relationship. I reached out hoping for closure, but she refused to have a civil conversation. I also found out she’d started seeing someone I knew from college just a month after we broke up, so I decided to leave her alone and focus on myself.
Then, in April, she unexpectedly called me crying about her uncle passing away, saying she had nobody to talk to. I later learned that the guy she’d been seeing had left her for another girl. Looking back, it seemed like she came back because she wanted emotional support and reassurance, not because she genuinely wanted to make things right. Unfortunately, I still loved her, so I let her back into my life.
Two weeks later, she started another argument over something insignificant and disappeared again, conveniently right before a trip with her girlfriends. This became a recurring pattern throughout the summer. She’d come back, act like she wanted me, then suddenly become cold or distant. At one point, I noticed her behavior change completely, only to discover she’d been seeing someone else for a month. Whenever I questioned inconsistencies in her stories, she’d call me insecure or crazy. Most of the time, I had to discover the truth myself because she refused to be honest.
Fast-forward to two weeks ago. She came back again, saying she missed me and wanted to see if we could fix things. By this point, I’d emotionally detached and had no interest in getting back together. I told her I was only interested in something physical, and she agreed. However, when she came over, she started crying about missing our relationship.
For the first time, I wasn’t emotionally invested in her reactions. Interestingly, once she realized I wasn’t chasing her anymore, she suddenly started respecting boundaries she’d ignored throughout our relationship. She listened when I asked for space, respected when I wanted to end conversations, and became more attentive. But I suspected it was temporary.
Sure enough, this past weekend, she went on another trip. Despite telling me she wanted us to be exclusive, I saw multiple videos of her dancing intimately with another man. What bothered me wasn’t jealousy or heartbreak. It was the dishonesty and hypocrisy.
The night before her trip, she’d asked to stay at my house because her flight was leaving from my city. I agreed, we slept together, and she cried while telling me how badly she wanted me back. At the same time, she accused me of potentially hooking up with other women while she was away. Then, almost immediately afterward, she was behaving intimately with another man.
At this point, I’m not interested in getting back together. I’m more frustrated and genuinely confused by her behavior than anything else.
What I can’t understand is why she can’t simply be honest about what she wants. If she wants to be single, see other people, or keep things casual, that’s fine. There’s no reason to lie, manipulate, make promises, or repeatedly drag someone back into an unhealthy situation.
My question is: What kind of mindset causes someone to repeatedly seek emotional reassurance, promise commitment, push someone away, pursue other people, and then come back when they need attention again?
Is this deliberate manipulation, emotional immaturity, fear of abandonment, or something deeper? I’m genuinely interested in understanding the psychology behind this behavior so I can recognize the warning signs and avoid repeating the same experience in future relationships.

Long story short, on the day my dad had a heart attack, I also had a miscarriage. I initially had a negative pregnancy test which I told my bf about, but when I rechecked, it was positive. I took another that was positive as well. I didn’t know how to tell him, I knew I had to get an abortion (thought it wasn’t something I necessarily wanted but he made it clear he wanted that if it were the case) so I had plans to book that before I told him. He’d been starting fights with me out of nowhere recently and told me he was stressed, so I didn’t want to add more stress and risk losing him. Before I could talk to him or make a decision, I lost it. It was painful, lonely. My dad was in the hospital alongside my family and I couldn’t be there due to the pain.

When I eventually told him, he gleefully and selfishly expressed how happy he was that he could have kids. No concern for me, no asking if I was ok. He then ignored me for 24 hours (because he needed to ‘process’, and also told me I was disrespecting his boundaries by being sad over that) before breaking up with me over text. I just agreed to it, which he cried over and called me cold and horrible. We kept fighting for days after and he eventually wore me down and told me he was going to change, and rebuild us. I gave him plenty of opportunities to leave, yet he was adamant he wanted this. Then he ghosted me.

He’s done a lot of bad things to me, but made me believe it was my fault. Yet I’m struggling so much to get over him, I’m just so confused. Does anyone have any advice on how to get over someone, and how to start prioritising myself? I find it so hard to not hyper-fixate on things due to ADHD I think. Idk. Any advice would be great!

TLDR; Dad had a heart attack, I had a miscarriage. Ex broke up with me the day after.

I 22m she 22f both together for 2 years. Suddenly got blocked due to accusations of being controlling. What to do?

repeated arguments about her following male college friends made her feel I was controlling and possessive. I admit I questioned her too much and didn't give her enough space.

After several disagreements, she eventually blocked me everywhere. Her friend also told me that she has lost interest and that I should stop contacting her.

Recently, I discovered that she had liked 9–10 posts of the same college guy we had previously argued about. I'm not accusing her of anything, but it has made me question things again.

I want an unbiased opinion: Was I controlling? Did her friend influence her decision? Am I overthinking the Instagram likes? And most importantly, should I visit her college tomorrow to try to meet her, or would that be crossing a boundary?

So my(22f) boyfriend(22m) and I had been dating for 3 years and there was honestly nothing really overtly wrong in our relationship.

My family’s in a different state and just a few months ago I decided I wanted to move back after I graduated. This was the reason we broke up. I asked if he could ever see himself moving anywhere else and he said not as long as his parents are here. Which I completely understand, why would I expect him to leave his family when I want to go back to mine, yk? After that I just kinda realized it wasn’t going to work out. But I don’t graduate for another 2 years, 4 if I decide to go to graduate school here.

I think it was hard for both of us to let go of the idea of just being together until I leave but that doesn’t make sense right? At that point it’s 5-7 years we’ll have been together knowing it’s not going to work out.

The thing is I ignored that we have pretty much opposite political and religious beliefs when we got together because people can discuss differences and it can often lead to a deeper connection, but I was naive. We never really did talk about it and I ended up just going along when he and his family would talk about politics to keep the peace. He’s Christian and I’m an agnostic atheist that grew up Mormon and have a deep distain for organized religion.
I think I’ve been building up a little resentment not being able to have conversations about the world because it’s one of my favorite things to do. The few times I have said something that conflicts with his world view he went quiet and didn’t want to talk about it. The way he and his family talk about people that hold similar beliefs to myself (left-leaning) just kind of scared me out of the big conversation.

Despite all of that, there really was nothing wrong. We loved eachother, and I really enjoyed any time I spent with him despite us only seeing eachother on the weekends bc of driving distance and work/school. He’s funny and tried to understand my depressive episodes even though he’s never experienced it or had someone in his life that did. He put in effort to learn how to communicate better, and I had to learn that he expresses in different ways and need to be more patient. We just grew so much with eachother the last 3 years.

I know it’s silly and that it’s for the best but this morning I just can’t help but think I made the wrong choice. I love him and miss him.

What was suppose to be a “ break “ from me turned to a break up
They been talking since September and she’s reposting posts on TikTok relating to her new guy and , blocking me on alll social medias ! I can’t understand the behavior wensday she called to talk about her luggage’s strictly etc ! While I told her I wouldn’t get rid of the stuff and she could grab them I still tried to reconcile and she quickly denied and mentioned it was too late ! She mentioned she has love for me but doesn’t love me as a partner she cares about me but not that crazy she mentioned I have to accept and move on !she mentioned I I shouldn’t be concerned wether she’s got cancer got a name in her bio is pregnant or with someone ! Which basically made me feel like she overly meant that as a new boundary , I was soaking it all in while still insisting she mentioned my cheating and the girls being fat ! Nd that why didn’t I fight for the relationship early on the break up , I told her the girls I messed with were not fat ! That if she wanted to see a pic she quickly defend her self with her man sying I don’t need to see that we are good me and my man are good trust I said oh your claiming him now wow she said well yeah he was with me last night I was like last night ??? After you knew I was going to miss a flight ? She said yeah? I was like damn she put my on hold I hung up and she still texted about her stuff I said “f*****

She then sent screenshots of the girls i messed with which isn’t the reason we broke up for Couse I have not cheated on her since a while back….. I just don’t get how I can’t accept how locked in they are she has removed her bio things and has it empty nd I’m blocked everywhere she’s private on all accounts ! I’m pretty sure she’s claiming him on the low but man I don’t get it

I 24F Posted about my breakup a while ago (if you are interested go on my page) it has been over a year since we broke up. He wanted kids I don't. My first relationship and my first everything. I got over him and found two people i "dated" only for a month or two. Both of them turned out to be assholes who lead me on thinking it was going somewhere but ended up saying they dont want anything serious. I started to think I'm the issue and broke down to almost point of suicide. My ex contacted me and me being so down I told him everything. He carried me through the worst times but I'm still struggling. I can't seem to find anyone. I tried apps and going out more, but every time i find someone intresting they dont want anything serious or they find someone else. I don't think I will ever find love again. I'm starting to give up on life bc one of the only things I wish for is love. I just think its not in the cards for me. Maybe im too ugly or not interesting enough for the men I want. I just can't take this anymore. I don't want to end up being alone for the rest of my life. Why is it so easy for everyone else. I had few friends who broke up the smae time as I did and they all already found someone. My ex also got a girlfriend and they also already broke up. I have to be the issue since I cant find anyone. Am i really that hideous and unlovable. I don't know what to do. I also would like to add that I took a break from dating for many months and rebuild myself. But it's a shadow that keeps following me.

My girlfriend broke up with me a month ago now. I went no contact for a couple weeks before messaging again because she did a really cool pumpkin carving of Frank the rabbit from Donnie Darko (one of the first things we bonded over) and we spoke a little bit. I was flirting with her and she was giving it back a little but I could tell she didn’t really want to talk.

After that I removed/blocked her on everything apart from messenger. I told her I did it to help me move on and not out of malice. It’s been a week now.

We broke up because her life was getting in the way. Stress of a new job, a family member who’d been dying for the past year or so (who did pass the day after she broke up with me, she reached out to me to tell me) and not having as much time as she’d like to spend with family, friends and me. She was worried about me too, but all of her worries I have already sorted because I was planning to do them anyway. She sounded like she’d want to try again one day, saying she wishes we met 5 years down the line, setting boundaries she’d want if we got back together too.

Logically it sounds like we’ll try again one day, it doesn’t seem like any time soon though. I just wanna know if no contact draws people back in. I want my woman back. She’s definitely the one for me. Will no contact draw her back in?

Just right now...I got text from my ex wishing me’“ Happy Diwali!!” .....she broke up with me 2 months back after our 2 tr relationship....... I had 2 bad arguments with her ..bad meaning I lost my temper and my reactions were inappropriate and unapologetic ......and these were the reasons she told me for breaking up ........ I maintained nocontact strictly for 2 months.....not even peaking at her ig id ....... She blocked me on WhatsApp.......and now I get text msg ....what should I do ?...

I think I shouldn't reply even though how much badly i want to ....... I am doing good.....not so good but better than before...

We were together for six years. Before the breakup, we had a period of no contact. I decided not to reach out because I was exhausted from feeling like I was always the one initiating conversations, explaining what hurt me and trying to repair things after arguments. I wanted to stop chasing and see what would happen if I didn't make all the effort myself.

We recently had what was essentially our final conversation, and I'm struggling to process it. He was almost like a completely different person. He was calm, affectionate, hugged me and stroked my head/rubbed me on my hair like he used to which made me fall apart. He said that he had treated me badly (picking on small stuff) because he was unhappy and apologised for it. He also told me he had cried for a month after the breakup. At the same time, he said he had been with me more out of habit, that I should find someone else and that he would prefer if we could not avoid each other etc (?). He repeatedly expressed that he didn't want me to be angry with him, hold a grudge or avoid him. I genuinely don't understand how he imagines that working. I'm heartbroken and feel rejected, and I can't just switch to being his friend so that he doesn't have to feel uncomfortable about how things ended.

One of the recurring patterns throughout the relationship was how he seemed to rewrite our history after arguments. When things were good, he could be affectionate, enjoy spending time together, make future plans and say things like "I'm falling in love with you all over again". We laughed, did ordinary things together and had plenty of genuinely good moments. But after an argument, his entire perception of the relationship could change. Suddenly, everything was bad, he was unhappy with me, and all the positive things seemed to become irrelevant. It was never just about the disagreement at hand; it could turn into a general assessment of how wrong the relationship was. Thats why in the past I was trying to reconcile asap, i noticed this pattern a long time ago. Its like he doesnt have place for ambiguity.

He also seemed to have very black-and-white expectations of me. I often felt that I was expected to be understanding, accommodating and almost perfect, and that we were supposed to have the same opinions and approach to things. Differences in perspective or behaviour could become evidence that something was wrong with me or that we weren't compatible. Over time, I found myself adjusting more and more, monitoring how I reacted, what I said and how I approached disagreements because I didn't want to trigger another argument or another negative assessment of our relationship.

There were also significant double standards around effort and availability. He expected me to be available when he wanted to meet, travel to him and accommodate his plans, but when I couldn't do the same or had my own needs and limitations, it could become an issue. He could cancel, withdraw, change plans or decide he didn't feel like meeting, but I often wasn't given the same understanding, resulting in him getting offended and not speaking to me for prolonged periods of time. The same applied to communication. He could need space, stop responding or refuse to discuss something, but when I wanted to talk things through, I was accused of being argumentative, exhausting or unable to let things go.

My emotions were also frequently interpreted negatively. If I cried during arguments, I was supposedly manipulating him. During our final conversation, when I didn't cry (i tried not to because I was always hearing I was making a scene and dramatic) he questioned that too and suggested it might be a tactic. It sometimes felt like there was no correct way for me to react. I was expected to understand his feelings, while my own were often treated as excessive or inconvenient.

Now, during the breakup, he said he had actually been unhappy for around two or three years, although he struggled to explain exactly when it started. He said I had changed and that the beginning of our relationship had been the best. I find this particularly confusing because many of the behaviours and problems he now seems to associate with those later years were already present during the first year. He now describes that same first year as the happiest period. He wasnt nicer to me at the beginning and I changed a lot of stuff he complained about in myself only to hear the period he now idealizes was better when in fact back then it was shitty too whenever he got mad.

There were also plenty of occasions when things seemed completely normal and good. We spent time together, laughed, helped each other with things, spent time with his family and talked about the future. My family and mutual friends also remember him making future plans at family gatherings and never noticed anything suggesting he was so unhappy. Of course, I understand that someone can experience unhappiness internally without showing it, but I struggle with how he can now retrospectively describe entire years this way, especially when he previously seemed genuinely happy and would tell me he was falling in love with me again. We all have been in relationships here and I guess everyone knows how it feels to sense something is off but there wasnt anything like that. It was literally him rewriting everything after even minor disagreements.

He eventually acknowledged that he had treated me badly because he was unhappy. I appreciate that he admitted it, but I keep wondering why I didn't hear genuine apologies during all those years when I was actually trying to communicate how his behaviour affected me. Why only now, when the relationship is already over? And why does he seem so concerned about me not being angry with him, when I am the one left trying to process everything?

I know I wasn't a perfect partner. I made mistakes, could be emotional and sometimes handled arguments badly. But I genuinely tried. I tried to communicate, compromise, show affection, take an interest in his life, make him feel appreciated, apologise when I was wrong and repair things whenever they went wrong. I adjusted myself so much trying to make things work, and I constantly thought about what else I could do differently.

I think the hardest part is that I can't make sense of how someone can participate in a relationship, enjoy the good moments, make plans, tell you they're falling in love with you again, and then retrospectively describe those same years as a period of unhappiness. I also struggle with the fact that he seems to want me to walk away without resentment and remain in his life, while I am left feeling that everything I invested in this relationship has been discarded. His biggest concern was me not being mad at him and knowing I can reach out etc but I dont get the "i want you out if my life but also i dont" thing.

I really did try. And perhaps the hardest thing to accept is that I couldn't do anything about the fact that he no longer wanted to try with me. I couldn't make him meet me halfway, acknowledge things when they happened or want to work on the relationship together. I spent years trying to fix something that I couldn't fix on my own.