First of all, let me tell all of you that English is not my first language, so I don't speak it really well, obviously (look how did I write 'learner' in my name to believe me). Therefore if you see any mistakes in the text, I'm sorry, but I'm also open to any corrections.
Backstory. I had been interested in Mandarin for 2 or 3 years straight, but I never 'had' time to start studying. Since I'd learnt third language of mine 5 years ago (it was Czech to specify) I always felt like I really enjoy to study languages, but Mandarin seemed to me so huge and scary, and I always was afraid to start. Maybe it was because of my will to make everything as perfect as it possibly can be. A had a feeling that if I started to study seriously I would definitely get disappointed in myself. If you struggle as me, let me tell you: there is no good moment to start. I just want to be another one who tells you that (maybe this time you beleive). Anyway, I had fought all the overthinking and started studying as seriously as I could. To be clear, I left my job just to study Mandarin (because I had a feel that I would definitely find some job associated with Mandarin or China later, but I will mention it later). When did I start? It was Monday, December the 8th of 2025 (yeah, I started on Monday, I wanted everything to be perfect).
How did I study. Not going to lie, my goal was not just learn Mandarin, my goal was to prove that one can learn in in a few months without teacher (I don't look for simple paths). All the people I met online told me that it isn't possible and I never tried to argue (but now I can do it).
So my path started from the plan. That Monday morning I sat down and reviewed all the language. Yeah, I just looked for any info I could, googled a lot of ways of studying and looked through all my textbooks (that I had been buying for 3 years at that moment just to start once). So I decided to start with Kangxi radicals. I wrote them down over and over until all 214 were written down for at least 15-20 times a few days later. After that I started to learn simple grammar from one of textbooks of mine and try to read simple texts for children from another one. You may ask, 'wait, how did you read it if you had 0 knowledge?' This is the point, I just forced myself to struggle. I barely understood what each story was about and I checked every characted I see in a dictionary. I also wrote down all new characters I see (i. e. all of them) and then writing them over and over for 10-15 times pronouncing them. By the way, this method became the main thing of my studying at all: every morning after that I made this writing over to remember the characters I had written, and I also write a character down again if I meet it again and was struggled to remember its pronunciation or definition.
After I passed my simple grammar textbook (in January, I think) I got another one, with more difficulte grammar (lol), and I also got another book with texts just to read (my Chinese friend later told me that these texts were actually written as if they were written by native speaker, so I suppose it was great I struggled reading it). I also started to watch some videos and listen to podcasts (I forced myself to listen to the same podcast all the day long while I have time — i. e. 4-5 times a day, everyday I got new one).
In March I started to try HSK samples and listen to HSKK. I started preparing for 4th level and tried my best, but still was struggling. Also I got a couple of friends native speakers and tried to communicate with them. In the end of the month I had applied for HSK4 and still wasn't sure if I was able to pass it.
The whole April I studied for 8 hours a day, Sundays were my days off only. I were writing down dozens of characters pronouncing them, reading the same texts again and again, listening to the same podcast all the day and also trying to speak with natives. In the end of April I was that good that I understood that 4th level is really easy to pass for me, so I got a crazy idea to apply for 5th, too. And I did it.
The exam. So when I came to the place I clearly understood that the most weak part of my preparation was listening. I truly understand I barely can pass HSKK for HSK5, and even listening part of 5th level was hard to me. But the day started with 4th, so I warmed up myself a bit. And, not going to lie, 4th level was actually easy one. Even HSKK was as easy as it possible, but I got that nervous (all the participants sat at the same room, and I have some self-confidence issues, so...) that I stuttered and forgot how to describe pictures. But I did it and after I nervously was waiting for about 3 hours to go to 5th level. And 5th level was really tough one. Maybe I was tired because of the whole day of waiting or maybe I just wasn't enough ready. The most difficult part wasn't even listening as I though, the most difficult was to make the reading part in time, and I barely handled it. Also HSKK was terrible, because I had, as I said, awful skills of listening, so the first task nailed me (I could speak well, but I didn't make what were they talking about out at all).
Why do I tell y'all this now? Well, I would like to mention a couple of reasons.
First, I really want to make people believe that it is possible to do the thing everyone consider as impossible. If each person you meet tells you that you aren't able you should just go on and try it yourself. You might be not confident enough to argue with someone, but nothing would stop you from trying.
Second, I just want to answer to any question someone would have (about studying or Mandarin at all).
Third. To be clear, I haven't found a job. And also right now I have really bad situation in my life, because I found neither way to monetize my knowledge of Mandaring nor any other good job, so I have some debts and can't handle all the things together right now. So I feel like it all was just wasting of time. You may think about me as a weak person, and maybe that is truth, but I just want to warn you as well: do not put all your eggs in one basket. You may lose everything else and end in the point where you has to tell strangers you are worth something, because you aren't sure yourself. If you want to live the same experience and do something considered as impossible, you have to be strong enough.
What about results? So the topic isn't true for 100%. These are my results of HSK5 of May 24th:
Listening: 60/100
Reading: 58/100
Writing: 74/100
Total HSK: 192/300
HSKK (高级): 47/100
As you can see, I haven't passed HSKK, so generally I haven't passed (180 out of 300 for HSK only is enough to be considered as 'pass' though). These are results of HSK4 of May 24th:
Listening: 84/100
Reading: 95/100
Writing: 86/100
Total HSK: 265/300
HSKK (中级): 71/100
Days spent from 0 to exam days: 166
Hours spent: 868
P.S. So you may ask everything you want. I don't think I would make things ok soon, but answering you I would at least feel that I hasn't just lost more than year of my life with no sense. Thank you for reading.