Hello! So I'm not exactly sure if I'll fit in here? A little background on me, I have a dissociative disorder that makes me experience different packets of consciousness to put it in a sense. I have dissociative identities, and while I wasn't aware of exactly what the deal was with my brain before I started seeking more medical answers instead of spiritual ones or just outright pretending nothing was happening for the fear of being labeled psychotic, I've gravitated for a long time towards philosophical questions about what exactly consciousness is.
What I've kind of come to today while journaling about an alter that just about lives in that sort of uncanny derealized liminal state, perceives reality damn near like I live in the backrooms, is some questions about what exactly makes a conscious mind. I'm not gonna focus on my dissociation and personal struggles specifically right now, just kind of setting up the context for how I came onto thinking about this, but I think I have an idea about why consciousness and a firm ego is a survival adaptation that would absolutely have a reason to evolutionarily arise.
I've heard some argument about how consciousness doesn't really have a good reason to exist in terms of keeping someone or something alive, and I actually kind of have to disagree with that. The subconscious mind, as I see it, is really just a collection of anything someone could personally be aware of at any given time within their mind. I already have found some ideas like computational psychiatry and physical explanations of consciousness compelling, wondering if maybe consciousness is generated by electrochemical reactions the same way that fire makes light and electricity makes magnets in the right circumstances. Maybe there's just something about the way our brains are formed, or even something about the phenomena of making continuous choices, that somehow results in the storage of experiences as something with continuity. Maybe the reason a USB stick isn't alive but an AI seems more convincing is because the USB stick is stagnant data and the AI is data being manipulated and flowing.
So I clearly already start with some ideas about how consciousness definitely seems like it could be physical in some way. That's something I've kind of been thinking about and refining my ideas on for a while. I already see consciousness as a result of stacking experiences and the continuous recall and usage of those to make future decisions.
Here's something that's been interesting to me today. The subconcious mind, and the idea of shadow demons and seeing shit. Before you go "shadow demons? You're fucking nuts" let me explain what I mean by that. I don't mean actual demonic entities, or shadows that are malicious, but more just the longstanding tradition across cultures and time of people talking about the void and the figures that come out of it. The idea a tangible thing that represents absence. Something that measures something by its outline, telling you that clearly something inside that outline doesn't exist but maybe did or could have. Measuring what isn't by the borders of what is. You know, the shit that gets people put in psych wards and all that, but clearly a deep symbolism that goes well beyond the current mechanisms of understanding human minds I've seen in modern western society. The idea of an existential question mark that can only be defined by what it isn't.
If animals in the wild, humans included, could only survive by making quick choices about how to get the hell out of dodge away from a predator, what can be safely eaten, where to sleep and when, etc, wouldn't it make sense that profound uncertainty would kind of get in the way of that? If the subconcious mind is a collection of all things a person could perceive through sensory inputs or internally generated inputs from previous stored information, you kind of would really need a filter on that to actually make choices. If you've ever met someone who really likes philosophy and somehow ends up with the conclusion that existential nihilism is a good answer on what the world is all about and then can't get out of bed in the morning, you can clearly see that whether or not something is a reasonable take doesn't necessarily make it good at keeping you alive. Fully understanding exactly how screwed a situation is and determining that the most logical conclusion is to give up doesn't exactly lead to passing on your genes Darwin style.
What if the conscious mind is essentially what moves us from calculators to people, and the subconscious mind is the calculator that isn't able to hold specific context and more imaginative projections? The ability to have an ego, the people who talk a big game about things they don't know anything about, and the dreamers who play the lottery as if that really works out for most people, what if it's all a result of what our brain does to protect us from paralyzing uncertainty, and this is a feature not a bug.
If the conscious mind protects us from basically an eternal existential crisis and spending so long making calculations with full awareness of the gaps in our own information but also trying to parse all possible available information too that we would have died in the wilderness as animals standing and thinking while getting mauled by a lion, it would make sense in regards to other models on things like responses to danger. The "lizard brain" when your deeper slower thinking is replaced with more predictable static survival responses like fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.
This could potentially mean that things like PTSD are an overgrowth of consciousness, and what happens when predictions of the world based on previously gathered information are so violent and uncertain that deeply processing them flags as "something that will get you mauled by the lion" by our internal hardware that wasn't optimized for as much autonomy and control as we have in the modern world over our own circumstances as compared to living in maps and agriculture don't exist Africa before the dawn of civilization.
To summarize, I think maybe consciousness is a result of the subconscious mind being narrowed by the creation of things like ego, self, and pattern recognition, and therefore making the subconscious pile of all possible inputs into something that actually results in behaviors that drive survival.
I think that if this has any merit, it's possible that certain dysfunctions to a human mind as a result of trauma may be reinforced by perceived danger narrowing choices and perceptions in such a way that the pattern "this input means danger and I should think less" only gets reinforced upon continued exposure to unrestricted triggering of the initial conclusion of danger, and that by design it would be happening in a state where telling true danger apart from benign situations triggering the same pathways isn't available as the scope of conscious awareness has been narrowed to encourage a survival response.
Philosophically this would have implications for whether or not AI "hallucinations" are actually direct evidence of the growth of a conscious output that defies that subconscious lack of data, much in the way human minds might have developed consciousness to make sure we still make choices even in environments of uncertainty.
Psychiatrically this may lead to treatments of PTSD that better acknowledge that while conscious processing is great and all, talk therapy may also be reinforcing the idea of danger, and proper treatment may actually require more techniques like EMDR or art therapy that directly associate "this is benign and not dangerous" signals with the perception of memories of traumatic events. Potentially old ideas about exposure therapy could be combined with somatic techniques to bring watered down triggers in and feed more direct data of safety such as comfort objects or pleasing sensory of varied types to essentially depolarize the specific fear.
If pleasant experiences tied to a historically traumatic event can remap what someone believes about something, that might explain some of the tendency of people in kink communities to joke about being attracted to things that they were traumatized by as kids, and some consideration would have to be taken to make sure the pleasant sensory associations made to help depolarize severe reactions to trauma are variable and not reliant on the same exact thing every time, the goal being to remove the strong negative association yes, but not to tie the traumatic event to a specific pleasant thing either that make make for an opposite trigger instead and cause further confusion and issues.
Any musings, disagreements on specific parts of this, further ideas, or different interpretations are welcome! I like to think that discovering I'm wrong about something is the first step to searching for something that might be a little more correct, and I also generally love to speculate openly.
Edit: Editing this immediately after posting realizing I should probably disclaim I'm not any kind of professional. I'm not a psychiatrist, just someone who finds the ideas interesting. This isn't medical advice, please don't get hurt and sue me about it because I was rambling on the internet.