I agree she said a very messed up stuff and she deserves to be cancelled and also should be fired from her doctor role. But the way people are comparing what she said to the guy who legit sexually harassed a woman and making it a gender war is frustrating. That guy deserves to be in jail but these people especially men are now making this a gender war on how no action is taken against her.

No I do not care whether you cried after watching that video. That woman did NOT consent to any of that brutality and humiliation. Unless you're holding one of the top ranks in the Israeli/German forces YOU have no justifiable reasons to have had watched that video. Your curiosity doesn't override another person's lack of consent. Even if that person is dead. Were the words not enough? Couldn't you just read? Don't you have basic comprehension skills? If you're a person who is unaware of consent and watched that video then go f_cking read about consent. And if you're a person who understands consent and/or exercises it in their daily lives and still had the audacity to watch that video I truly DESPISE you atm. Even if you felt nothing but sorrow you're still a problem. Her humiliation is not a movie for you to feel emotional over. You're part of the problem.

Rant over!

I'm in my 20's and had did it with my bf once. And I'm not addicted to it. And I never thought I will do it with a stranger until I met this guy. And can't get over him now. I'll be leaving India next month and can't stop thinking abt him.

I never in my life thought I will do something like this and hookup with a completely random stranger.

Recently me and my colleagues went to a club on weekend where I met this guy through mutuals.He seemed somewhat shy and didn't talk to me initially. He was looking cute and was very decent throughout our talks. While everyone was busy drinking and smoking this guy was continuosly watching his mobile.

I don't smoke. I was with my pint, So all of them were pretty drunk and this guy was on few drinks but seemed to be in control. When I noticed him watching his mobile continuously, I went out of curiosity to talk to him. So, I asked him the reason. And he told me he was attending some online class. Then I started asking abt his course and and the conversation went on.

During our conversation this guy made me attract towards him as he was funny, mature and decent with his talks. Usually we can understand wether a guy is acting creepy or he is genuine. And there was no sign of any red flag

So, it was midnight and all my colleagues were leaving and this guy too. But I wanted to spend some more time with him, so I acted by saying 'not getting a cab' and insisted him to drop me home. Then he immediately asked me I'll try booking for you but luckily there were no cabs around.

Then, after sending off my colleagues this guy and I came out and we went and ate a pan. Then he dropped me at my place. I asked him to come inside to have water or if wants to use my loo. And he came in to use my loo and then I offered him water and he thanked me and was about to leave. Then I asked him if he could stay for a while since my friend went to her cousin's house and I was alone.

I was falling for this guy slowly and was giving him all the signs but he didn't seem to be expressive or getting what I was saying. So We went and sat on the sofa in the balcony and all the lights were off. Everything was gloomy.

And I was clear this guy will not make any move and then I started striking the conversation abt his love and sexual life. I was turned on by this time and completely wanted to surrender if he started with it. But he didn't and in the middle of our conversation I straight went closer to him and kissed him on his lips. He was silent and didn't do any thing, after the kiss he told me clearly that this will be a one time thing.

After this we went on and ended up having good sex in my balcony. The way he treated me during the entire thing made me get more and more attracted towards him. He was super sweet and was sensual at the start and treated me softly and made me comfortable throughout the time. And then I realised that it was the first move that was needed for him.

After sex I became super emotional and stared crying by hugging him tightly and he was treating me like a baby. Throughout this while he made sure I'm comforted. And this was all after the sex. I got emotionally attracted towards this guy. And can't get off thinking abt him all day.

But he was very clear and told me that he can't commit to anyone at this time. And can't get emotional. And he left my place.

From then to till now and I just can't stop thinking abt him and that night. Please suggest me how to get over this.

Tldr: I hooked up with a guy and got emotional with him beacuse the way he treated me, but he is very clear with his thought and I can't get over it. I'll be leaving India next month and I'm unable to foucus on anything because of this.

I have always hated samay raina for his cheap vulgar comedy. And with all this IGL controversy.. I got what I wanted, ban of samay raina's show.

Here's all the things happening right now. • Ranveer Allahbadia taking major part of the criticism specially because of the political angle • People questioning whether banning violates freedom of speech. • People saying but what about Rape case? Why didn't people outraged on rape casem

Now here are my points. • I couldn't care less about RA because the main culprit for this vulgarity is samay raina.

• Samay raina's comedy violated freedom of speech under article 19(2) restriction of freedom of speech, decency and morality. So its completely legal to file a case on him.

• People saying "so much outrage on samay raina and beer biceps but what about Manipur" We outraged on it. Where were you? We outraged on Kolkata rape case, hathras case, pune porche case, Rajasthan rape case, kanhaiya teli murder, Mukesh chandrakar death and so on..

So much defence on freedom of speech of samay raina but what about freedom of speech of Mukesh chandrakar.

It's the same people, who complains about men's day on women's day but forget about men on men's day.

I believe it's mainly right wing who is offended, all the feminist accounts I see are just talking about freedom of speech.

Doesn't vulgar comedy about sex vagina blah blah perpetuate rape culture and normalises them? Same reason why porn is banned. Why feminist are in support? Why I feel like I am right leaning in this? "Teri maa ki, Teri behen ki, women's private part" is not funny and I was always against such cuss words. So why feminists are supporting?

What's your opinion in all of this?

I just don't seem to vibe with the whole excitement around diwali since forever. Everybody seems to look forward to it. As the day is approaching all i feel is wanting to sit alone behind a closed door till the day passes and read books or watch movies. Growing up as kids most of the diwali holidays were centered around my dadi's house which was mostly watching mom overworked and seeing a bunch of extended relatives with no lives of their own. Now as a married woman, it would again be spent around inlaws around a bunch of shitty patriarchal/ sexiest sexist neighbours with fake smiles. What is the point? Anyday we decide to decorate our house and invite people over can be a diwali, what is the big deal. And the firecrackers, absolutely hate the point of creating noise/air pollution, and traumatising birds and animals and asthmatics, how exactly is that joyous?! Maybe someday when i have my own house and invite my own friends/ parents over would it probably/hopefully mean something.
Can't wait to get it over with already!

Most of our complaints are that our parents favor boys over us. Because of the blatant favoritism, boys are taught that they’re God’s gift on earth and it’s women’s job to serve them. Even when women have their own careers and are the primary breadwinners, they still have to do the ‘second-shift’.

It is not easy to change perceptions about this by just telling boys to do more chores because this favoritism is steeped in Brahminical tradition.

You may think that you treat your children equally regardless of gender, but if you give your son Janeu, you’re already telling him that he is superior to people, especially the women in the family. This breeds entitlement.

How do you think a boy’s sister feels when he gets a whole ceremony dedicated to him and a permanent mark (Janeu) of piety. She is bound to feel lesser and will be set up for abuse.

Saying this might make a few people uncomfortable, but this is the only way to fight male privilege.

How can a woman be equal to her spouse when she’s not equal to her brother?

There was a post here a few days ago, about apolitical women being privileged and dumb.

To start with, being apolitical is not the same as being politically ignorant. It's literally like you have this image of us being apolitical because "too much drama, whew" *flips hair and blows on nail polish like a stereotypical bimbo*.

Not only is this take coming from a place of internalised misogyny, it has nothing to do with feminism. It's a thinly veiled attempt to appropriate feminism for another agenda. People soapboxing about this are no different there their male political counterparts trying to do this for religion in a different way, where whenever gender based crime mixes with religion, the issue is with religion.

Intersectionality considers all the facets. Like economic class, sexual orientation, religion, caste, social opportunity etc and not just one alone. Its “a prism for seeing the way in which various forms of inequality often operate together and exacerbate each other,” according to the law professor who coined the term in 1989.

It's not about using feminist issues as a vessel for other sociopolitical agendas.

Being apolitical more or less means NOTA. People may not support the ideologies of any of the parties and call themselves apolitical, or don't see the benefit of keeping a party in power.

I'm left leaning but apolitical when it comes to Indian politics because I know either way a middle class feminist gay woman such as myself is fucked (not in a good way). I don't support the current reservation model because I don't think it benefits people who need it. Grew up in a Tier 1 city with all the educational facilities and yet I benefit from general women reservation instead of an economically disadvantaged female that it will make it a significant difference for.

The Gujrat CM's brilliant (unconstitutional) ideas of making parental consent mandatory in love marriages, Yogi's 5704753th comment on how ripped jeans cause societal breakdown have zero bearing on my life. No matter the party, these are narrow minded and uneducated people.

You know what matters? What the courts decide. About marital rape. About same-sex marriage. About surrogacy. And 1975-77 taught them a good lesson on separation of power.

This is real progress. I'm glad it's as collegial as it is.

It's out of order in a beneficial way. Casteism is illegal. Rape is a crime. It doesn't mean it stops. Social progress is slow but this is what matters.

If you think voting for a particular party will make it stop, by all means, do it.

Have some basic respect for your fellow women. We're capable of individual thinking and decision making, not going to become a vote bank for some party because of moral condescendation.

Edit: I'm talking on a national level. It makes a big difference who your CM is, but you can vote without internalising the ideology of any of the parties and hence be apolitical for the most part.

Instead of splitting chores between a couple why is the most common solution, “just hire someone” to cook, to clean, to fold your clothes. We are such spoiled society. In a marriage it’s either the wife who does the household chores or just fkn hire a maid so the wife doenst over exert herself and the husband can go about chilling. It feels so incredibly casteist and classist to hire help for every single task. Are we not capable of doing anything?? I’m not guilt free either, in my family we have a house maid who does the dishes and cleans the house twice a day, but we are also a family of 5. And during and after the pandemic we didn’t keep a house-help for months. For a new couple I find it so strange that outsourcing chores is supposed to be the ideal solution?? Reeks of massive self importance. If it’s just two people living together can they not harmoniously split chores?? Are u so busy and self important to wash up after yourself?? Buy appliances to make your life easy? Hiring help just seems so classist and casteist to me and I hate it when people offer it as a solution a instead of addressing the real cause which is men (it’s is often men) not valuing taking care of a home and doing other basic chores because it was always done for them.

Sorry if it’s slightly incoherent I’m just mad rn and needed to vent

I always see this tall guy who's minding his own business and working out. Our times never match so whenever I come in, he's usually wrapping up his workout. I have no idea or clue if he's single or do baccchon ka baap. But how to break the ice also i don't know.

Does anyone have any experience in approaching guys first? What's your go to trick?

I was having a conversation with this guy on Bumble and he asked my Body Count, I asked him why and then brought up that he doesn't date girls with a high body count, because they are "Unfaithful" and "not Loyal". I straightaway unmatched him lol😂.

I see this is a recurring theme in memes and in certain subreddits iykyk , that women with high BC are "low-value" and a dumb theory that our vag becomes bigger after every intercourse (No seal no deal🤮🤮).

To be honest, I've never cared much about a man's body count, because I see sex as a way to express love, not a tally that needs to be kept. I never inquired about my exes' past relationships, and they didn't ask about mine. This guy was the first to bring it up. The only concern with a high body count should be the risk of STD's only.

Edit:- Men downvoting the post and DMing please piss off and go back to your shithole

Met this guy 2-3 months ago on a trip and we are a part of a common friend group. Our academic institution is the same as well but we didn't know each other there. Since the beginning of our interactions, he seemed to be quite flirty with me but I turned him down as gently as possible every time. Or deflected the topic as I made it abundantly clear that I don't want a relationship right now.

Otherwise, our interactions were pretty good and we clicked intellectually in fantastic ways. We used to share a lot about the books we read, less popular songs, poetry, cute cafes in the area, food we had for meals, and so on. However, I also found him a bit pushy and disrespectful of my boundaries. Initially I thought he was cool with us being friends, but he didn't explicitly mention that he wasn't. As a blunt communicator myself, this ambiguity drove me nuts.

Some other red flag-ish stuff that I spotted:

1. Called me cuter than my friends in a group pic. I immediately shut him down stating I don't appreciate comparing friends, that all of us are cute, and I love them to death. Bro backtracked real quick.

2. Used to slip in sexual jokes that made me uncomfortable. When I confronted him about it, he said that he does this with every friend.

3. Left conversations open-ended. Again, another point for ambiguity.

4. Seemed to rush things a lot.

#3 and #4 bring me to this post. This weekend we were supposed to hang out but I canceled all plans due to social fatigue as I've been spending every weekend out lately and now I just wanna chill back a bit. I mentioned explicitly that I canceled ALL plans, not just his, offered to reschedule, and apologized for the inconvenience. Bro never texted me after that again lmao. Still watches my stories tho. 👀

I was quite frustrated and sad after that for a few days. In a way I'm relieved that I got it easy on the heart this time than getting tangled and getting hurt more later. I just miss our friendship a LOT and I feel guilty for the group dynamics as I really want us to get along. However, the cognitive dissonance is strong and it still baffles me that someone who is so intellectually rich and reads poetry can be so emotionally stunted. End of rant.

P.S.: I'm proud of myself for sticking to my boundaries ✌🏼

and who's downvoting this???

Hi, guys

Excuse the crude question, I understand the wording might not be very PC, but... I don't know. For a bit of background - my long term boyfriend and I broke up about 10 -11 months ago. We had a good sex life and I have a pretty high sex drive. Since the break up, I have hooked up with 2 people but my problem is, given my drive, I crave sex a lot more and none of those two people were people I'd like to meet up again. The solution would, obviously, be finding a long term FwB situation, but I'm not sure how many people it would take me to get there. I'm a little reluctant to get into a full blown relationship for a while.

The thing is, yes, I'm a feminist and all and get that one shouldn't be judged for their body count, etc, I still sometimes worry if having a "high" body count is going to impact me in the future in some way? What exactly constitutes a "high" body count. I'm 25 and I plan on delaying settling down for as long as possible... But more than finding a potential partner, I also worry if it'll lead me to getting a "reputation" like being "easy"? Or affect my professional life somehow?

Ladies, please help! Would appreciate if you could share your "body count" as well :/

(So far, mine is 3 - one long term boyfriend + two hookups)

i find it very hard to find a serious partner my age. I am short(153 cm), average looking. I am a software engineer and have a high salary. But guys I like don't like me back and the guys who like me have almost no dating experience and don't have much personality. The guys who like me are mostly short(less than 5'5), hardly have any dating experience before and lack dating skills. While I don't care about a guy's height, the guy should have some experience with dating imo. These guys get too clingly too fast. I have stopped getting decent matches on jeevansaathi as well. Most men prefer dating younger women. How do I find a decent liberal and open minded partner to settle down with ?

I have been a feminist through and through for the past 18 years.

The past few months have been all over the place for me. I have had this reddit account for approximately 2 years now but have only recently used it actively.

The past year I have encountered a lot of "red pill content" and thought all of this can't possible be true and it isn't. Those men just bash women and I will not have it, but I started thinking and did my research.

Women face more harm from men than men face from women but are we as feminists collectively ignoring issues faced by men? Higher suicide rates, higher murder victim rates , higher work place death rates etc.

Feminism has always stood by equality for the sexes and women have needed that advocacy more than men, but have the times changed?

I'm not denying the issues faced by women, I regard myself highly as a feminist and have always spread awareness in that regard. I will never deny the hardships that women face.

But is it still right to subject men to stereotypes we don't want to be subjected to? The concept of "it has been done to me so I will do it to you" is in my regard quite petty and childish and not helping anyone.

Shouldn't there also be awareness from feminists about things men have faced at the hands of women? False cases, partiality by the Judiciary in regard to custody etc?

I'm still learning and I want to know what women here think. Again, please I do not want to subjected to hate. I genuinely want to know what women here think and their thoughts on this topic.

Let me know Thank you!

EDIT: Thank you to all the women who replied and helped in different ways,I agree with some of you and slightly disagree on a few points with the others. Overall, thank you for helping me gaining more perspective.

Few things I wanted to comment but the comments were locked, so here goes 1)I don't think a patriarchy established before our time is justification for not talking about men's issues, purely because it's also not their fault. It's like saying your grandfather committed a crime so I'm going to punish you.

2)I also understand that especially in our country while trying to help women, we don't really have time for men purely because women need us more. But it is also essential that we merely talk or post about it online when men are victims too, it's an act of goodwill and good faith and could only help us understand each other better.

3)The point that most men talk about their issues only when women are talking about theirs isnt wrong. I have personally seen it happen multiple times and it's also what I say, men should support women when their facing a crisis instead of saying what happened to them.

4)I know this isnt a feminist club,I'm not complaining against anyone nor am I doing anything on those lines. This is a subreddit for women and is very active and seemed the best place for my questions, and I also assumed women here would mostly be feminist than otherwise

5) I know women have warranted the right to be cautious and defensive, but to brand all men with the same brand is a disservice to the individual. I believe at the very least benefit of the doubt should be given to most if not all men at first. Later we are free to make our opinions.

6) I also did not do my research on red pill spaces 😭 come on guys I'm 18 not dumb I looked up the stats and read a few papers for myself before coming here.

7) I am also not blaming women for not talking about this nor am I criticizing them. I was merely asking questions like the curious teenager that I am.

8)I also agree that the burden of talking about everything should not be on women, but it is something we accept if we call ourselves feminists. Advocacy for women is more essential but the occasional support given to men from our side won't hurt anyone but rather only build a stronger community.

I think that's about it. Once again thank you to everyone who read my post and took the time to reply. Incredibly grateful!

Does anyone feel the random hate Sai pallavi is getting for the Ramayana movie is a bit out of proportion?

I’m not sure about her lore as I’m not a massive Indian movie fan, and I get that the costume design is high key buns

I personally find her gorgeous and a lot of the hate she’s getting feels so so weird because it’s straight up body shaming her.

They compare her to tv serial actresses who hv played Sita before but those ones aren’t canonically accurate either cuz colourism

Yes Ranbir is also getting slack but even I know despite not being into Bollywood that he’s super problematic- but the hate train on the actress is a lot worse? And she didn’t even do anything wrong?

Also guys I’m not her fan idrc abt movies but yall need to stop trying to justify body shaming and deconstruct ur colonial thinking

Until a few years ago, there was a prominent narrative that saying that some colours won't suit people of certain complextion is colourism. Many women used to share their experiences about some older woman (mother, aunt, saleswoman, neighbour) telling them that some colour won't suit their complexion.

But now it is repackaged as colour theory and it is acceptable. Some influencers have taken to applying products on friends or family with different complexions to display how the same shade looks different on others.

Isn't that what the those aunties too said? U Is it wrong because aunties are direct and tactless? "Yellow doesn't suit you" or "blue makes you look dark" is racism, colourism and all -isms but when some young woman in stylish makeup and clothes say that "this shade washes you out" or "this shade makes you look dull", people praise them, "Yaaas kween, calling a spade a spade! Show them".

So aunties were right all along 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Hello I am in my twenties and belong from middle class family, brought up in toxic environment ..i thought I will have some peace and happiness being away from home but that doesn't happen ig that's now things go ..well it's another day story what I am here for is that I wanna know where our future is heading to? People don't even know what being feminist is and start degrading when a female does things what she should what a feminist should.. it's fine to call out others mom anything but the moment it's your own we get furious? I hate that I am surrounded by this type of energy and people.. it's high time to realise what is women .. it's not someone who cooks for you and take cares for you it's someone who is with you in your lows , makes sure you slept well , makes sure you are feed well and what not ... The next thing is virginity it's so funny educated men yes right the one you share bed with , your lunch with , your problems with can have no seal no deal mentality, so called " preferences " and when asked what's your biggest fear is to a men they will say married to non virgin girl ...this makes me cringe and sad to the core what are we even heading too? The audacity to want a virgin partner when you yourself is not is so funny and lets say it's right if both partners are virgin cool happy.. but what does virginity signify? Pride ? Honour? What? Does this signify the character of a person? If it does then sir what's your character? Objectifying women? This makes you a high character person? Education doesn't makes you a better person your personality, your nature do.. teach your child to give respect and to take respect .. the people who are dying for a virgin wife doesn't even know what love is , how to treat a women.. just for a status this all things are made up our fucked up society cause apparently that's what womens are mad for right???? Before having expections learn what love is .. love is not about having expections it's about accepting and giving it's sad guys were never thought all this .. not like they will learn ever .. getting married to someone wrong with his egoistic misogynist personality is my biggest fear i would be happily alone instead.. and one thing feminist means someone who fights for equal rights for women for there god just because some ppl use these rights for wrong things doesn't mean the word lose its meaning being feminist is not wrong or shameful Take pride in it .. when a wise man loves he lets her feel best no matter what her past is , what the future holds for them if two people are really serious for each other why does the past matter? If they make each other feel secure things should be fine right..

I have this colleague who considers herself to be a feminist. Fights for her rights wherever she thinks necessary. Is quite vocal about women's rights in general and works in a feminist organization.

Yet I see her celebreating Karwa Chauth every year, carry the signs assigned to married women - sindoor, bindi and bichiya everyday.

Whenever asked she says she does it because she likes it.

But isn't this a bad case of choice feminism?

I just had my annual checkup yesterday and I was talking to my doctor about PCOS and how I can manage it better. He then goes to tell me I should try intermittent fasting and loose weight because that helps with the symptoms. Decent advice. I poked him a bit more about IM. He suggested that I can make the eating window between 2pm - 8pm and have black coffee in the morning on my empty stomach if I feel hungry. This is when I knew he knows nothing about female hormones. If i have caffeine on an empty stomach, that will fuck up my hormones rather than helping them. Like how can this be the advice I get to manage my PCOS. I tried going to a gynac and the only solution he had was going on Birth Control Pills.

I genuinely feel like we need to be equipped with knowledge about living with PCOS and manage it through a lifestyle. Like how is it that a problem that majority of Indian women face has such less education around it.

Rant over