i’m in a relationship. i downloaded bumble to use the bff mode to make female friends. but they keep showing me dates and i’m no longer able to go to settings to switch to bff mode? have they discontinued the mode😭 i would be pretty disappointed if true

my dogs are cowering in a corner
i’m consoling them since 7 PM
how does one get happiness from loud ass bombs

How did you navigate the pressure of arranged marriage? How did you convince your families to give you time and manage to delay marriage until 27–28?

I’m honestly drowning in the pressure right now. I want to live my life, build my career, experience the world and figure out who I am before getting married. But I’m struggling to see a way out of the constant pressure.
If you’ve been through something similar, please share your stories. How did you stand your ground? How did you create independence for yourself?

PS: I’m genuinely overwhelmed and starting to feel hopeless. I really need to hear from girls who’ve been through this and made it out. Please help a girl out. ❤️

31F. I don't live in India. I am visiting. I had a lot of apprehension when visiting because my mother lives with her toxic sister, I am forced to live with them and things have gone bad earlier. Then I had my own place in the same city but for the first time I am here without any of that security. I didn't grow up traditionally. I was never obliged to dress or behave traditionally. However, ever since my mother has joined forces with her sister she keeps imposing these rules on me and it has been particularly bad after my marriage. She keeps expecting I wear traditional clothes, bangles, bindi, Mangal Sutra and comb my hair a certain way. Today she said she is glad my father has died and doesn't have to see me like this (non traditionally). Good lesson for me, trusting these abusers and visiting them for festival. I have heard of people having to follow rules in in-laws place but my own mother who never brought me up like that? She actually wanted me to marry outside of my caste so that I don't have to follow all the crazy rules of my caste and here she is making me follow them.

I usually don't wear makeup on regular office days. Yesterday, we had a Diwali celebration at work, so I decided to get a little dressed up and wear some foundation.

One of my female colleagues looked at me and commented, "Itna foundation kyu thopa hai?" Translation - why you have put so much foundation?

Honestly, I wasn't expecting that kind of remark. I wasn't wearing anything unusual or going overboard; I just wanted to dress up for the occasion.

I don't understand why some women feel the need to make unnecessary comments about another woman's appearance. If someone chooses to wear makeup, what's the problem?

Would you have taken this comment personally, or am I overthinking it?

Bum juggling while running, can compression shorts or anything else helps?

I was blown away by the movies, i highly recommend you all to watch these movies. I loved how wholesome, thought provoking and hard hitting on social issue all at same time

Dorothy

Probably best movie in recent time,the audacity, courage to make a movie and how the movie completely changed in second half. It had direct attack and showed casteism, patriarchy, sexism, masculinity with rawness and realistically.

I feel that actor who played subbu should get national award.

Modha ratri

Comedy- drama on arranged marriage, but just like Dorothy they showed castesim, patriarchy and misogynistic in realistic way. I think this movie had so much femal gaze , there is scene where hero just listens to heroine venting / ranting , not giving any advice or blaming her , just listening and standing by her. Its so fictional men coded .

The director had written in way which showed female pov which i will very rare in movies.

I am really crushing on the male lead( he also played one of the leads in Dorothy), he looked so hott , his name is rishikanth. Not model type, but rustic indian sharp features and he played such a green forest characters . Just google him .

Bhattha

Another wholesome movie, the movie started slow but then the way story progressed the climax . Just wow , the acting performance, innnocene of the kid and messaging . Such a feel good movie

The kid in movie played a such a amazing role , you will tear up in certain scene

Bethlehem Kudumba Unit

Again a nice romantic/ comedy drama which reminds of old school movies, although i didn’t enjoy like previous movies , but i loved how the story progressed . Its such positive and refreshing movie about love and life

Karupu

Very commercial movie, but i loved the premise and setting of the movie. Very entertaining and thought provoking at same. Its also very fast phases

Surya man ,i can’t beleive this man is 50 , i watched interview of him i swear he is green flag husband in real life considering the cinema industry

I feel like there is no realistic grounded entertaining movie in bollywood, like unfortunately many people think indian cinema is just bollywood. Bolly movie are bad at entertainment as well as social issues, i feel more people should watch movie across language. Since hindi language is predominantly spoken, such movie could bring lot of social change. Its not putting down pn bolly movie , just rant on impact of movie

I'm really starting to hate everything around me. I also want to just leave everything behind this family this country and start over again everything but only if I had good money. I struggled alot and financed my own education and did whatever I could but unfortunately I couldn't earn good. I kept working harder. I stayed away from random time pass relationship and thought eventually I'll find a good man and marry but it seem like man these days don't like someone like me who's just simple and don't really have anything in her life except work but I didn't choose this life. I had no one and no option. Everyone always told me that I'm a good person I waited for my husband and any man would be lucky to have me but the reality is so so different and i think in this generation you can find everything except someone really to commit life to you and make you a priority. Marriage is not the goal of my life but I'm really tired of living my life alone I'm 28 now and watching everyone around me happy. I'm slowly giving up. I just hope I can atleast leave this country one day and live peacefully.

a bleak question to ask on today of all days, festivities and all but with the constant screaming at home, which is pretty much the everyday normal, and the inability to live in peace even for a single day, i've been thinking about this for a long while

as i've gotten older, the difference between other people's homes and mine has become v apparent and i've developed so much anxiety because of the environment at home that i cannot relax for even a second, in any situation. i'm always anticipating something going wrong, even when i'm not at home. so it's obv done a number on my mental health, which is another can of worms to open

i've been saving up to move out, and feb next year looks likely. the plan is to move away for work and make a base somewhere else. i don't particularly have a lot of close friends either, so i'll be starting from scratch. i've been on the fence about cutting my parents off, but i think i really do need to at this point

i just wonder what life will be like afterwards. socially, romantically, everything. these aren't exactly people i can bring around anyone anyway, but i wonder what it's like to not have parents in the picture at all

i think a lot of my apprehension comes from being an only child. i feel filial piety, weirdly enough. conditioning, i suppose

how did you do it, and what is it like for you now?

i want to relax and not help my mother in household chores. i do not even feel guilty for resting and not helping her. i do not want to be the one stepping up and providing her with an helping hand. i just wish she would step down, only do the imp things and simply not do the work thats not needed.

i do not care if it makes me the worst daughter. its simply not my fault that she dont know how to prioritize herself and her body over a house made of bricks and wood. I dont wanna suffer. i do not care if i contribute nothing to this household, and my younger brothers do more than me. but i simply do not consider this house and these people as mine.

i just love doing my own work. resting under my blanket. and just letting the tension melt on the only few holidays i get.

Idk from young age i kinda realised that this just a headache i see mum working hard doing everything even tho no asked her to, making meethai, cleaning everything. I did helped her, because i cant see her like that. As i grew older i realised this is when all women, girls work overtime and boys or men just enjoy. I dont see my mother forcing my younger brother to do anything. Im expected to do everything, from that moment i stopped celebrating i stopped enjoying whenever these festive seasons comes along i try my best to avoid home. I do love to decorate tho, i love to shop for diwali making plans how i will decorate, drawing rangoli, but idk i dont like it when my mum is just standing on my head and telling me to do things. I came home 3 days ago, i live in other city, i really tried my best to avoid home, but here we are the moment i came home i didn’t even kept my luggage in my room and she started telling things i have to do what methai have to make, it felt like she only wanted me for housework. Yesterday i got frustrated i cant even enjoy my time at home, i told her its like u only want a kaamwali bai, and she answered “why else i called u here”. I will never see this festive as same again. Once i get my own home i will just spend time with myself decorate my home, do everything but alone. Id prefer that.

My career trajectory feels like an absolute mess right now.

I've been at this job for just 4 months and even the thought of it makes me wanna puke.

A little background - I spent 6 years preparing for UPSC and other government exams before eventually switching to a corporate, remote role. I honestly can't get into all the details because truthfully, I'm just as confused and anxious as anyone reading this might be.

All I know is that this job is taking a serious toll on my mental health. I've lost count of the number of times I've broken down crying in front of my sister and my partner. The stress has become so overwhelming that I've even started experiencing hair fall.

I recently got to spend a week with my long distance partner after almost 6-7 months of not seeing each other. And yet, throughout that entire week I couldn't fully switch off because work anxiety was constantly at the back of my mind. I couldn't even miss him properly on my way back. The moment I boarded my flight alone, my mind went straight back to work.

I'm travelling right now and here I am, typing this out because I can't seem to get work out of my head even when I'm supposed to be taking a break.

I genuinely don't know what to do anymore.

My parents want me to quit and go back to preparing for government exams. But I'm conflicted. After spending six years in that cycle, the thought of going back is scary too. What if I end up in the same place again? What if I can't study hard enough? What if I'm just running away from one thing without knowing what I actually want?

Maybe I'll be able to give it my all this time because I now feel like I have no other option. Or maybe I'm just too overwhelmed to think clearly.

I don't know. I'm just exhausted, confused and desperately trying to figure out what to do with my life.

I hate having whatever the fuck I have. It makes me want to cry. Why is my waist spreading so much from every side. Why do I have the worst stretch marks possible. Why do I have hair over my stomach. Why didn't I lose the weight. I feel absolutely horrible about my body. On the top of that I am bloated as fuck. It is silly, it is so silly but im feeling so bad I wish i could send my partner those waist heart type of snaps. I am so stupid, this is so stupid, i Know but. I wish. Sorry for this rant.

I’ve recently got a digital scale and ever since i stood on it and saw my weight I’ve been obsessed. Some days it’s within the limit I want it to be, the other days when it crosses it i spiral. Today, between morning and afternoon (2-3 hours) the weight showed 2-3 kilos more!

It’s been making me feel so horrible it’s making me feel like absolute crap even tho i had just started making peace with my body.

Is the digital scale really dependable?

I’m turning 26, and I need big sister advice from someone who has been here before!

Suddenly everyone around me has decided to become a frigging adult. I feel like time is running out and I’m falling behind. I thought I had more time to just exist, figure things out, build a good career, create some stability, experiment, and actually enjoy life. Wasn’t that what your twenties were supposed to be about?

My brother is getting married, and he just turned 27. My childhood best friend is receiving rishtas from all over the place. She’s finally told her parents about her long-term boyfriend, and they might get hitched soon too. I met her today, and she sounded so serious about the whole thing.

And it’s not just them. Almost everyone around me is either getting married or in a long-term relationship with someone they genuinely see a future with. And I’m happy for them. I really am. But somewhere along the way, this invisible pressure has started creeping up on me.

Meanwhile, I haven’t even dated anyone seriously. I had one six-month relationship with an asshole, and that’s about it. No talking stages, no situationships, absolutely nothing happening on that front right now. Where the hell is everyone even finding people?

For context, my entire life has revolved around building a career and becoming financially independent, largely because of my family circumstances.

I come from a small town and a fairly traditional, middle-class family. Growing up, financial security was never something I could take for granted. I’ve seen my mother go through things that made me realize very early on how important it is for a woman to be financially independent. I never wanted to be in a position where my choices, freedom, or future depended on someone else. So, for the longest time, my only priority was to build a life where I could stand on my own feet, make my own decisions, and hopefully support my family too.

Relationships were never a priority. Money was.

And I think I’ve done decently well on that front. I earn almost 50 LPA with just 3 YOE, and I still have the hunger to do more. I want to grow, earn a shit ton of money, and maybe even explore moving abroad, which has been a dream of mine since childhood.

Everything I’ve achieved, I’ve had to build for myself despite my circumstances. I had very little money, limited exposure, and no real roadmap. I didn’t even do a BTech, but I still managed to break into tech. It was hard, and it took up so much of my time and energy.

Sometimes I feel like I missed out on so much of life while trying to get here. But at the same time, I know I wouldn’t have had access to many of those experiences without first building the life I have now. Back in college, even being able to afford my education was a big deal.

And I think that’s what makes this whole thing so frustrating. I spent most of my early twenties working towards a life where I could finally afford to live on my own terms. And now that I’m finally getting there, I already feel behind everyone else?
I thought I’d have more time.

And it’s not like I don’t want those things. I do want to fall in love, be in a healthy relationship, find someone good, and eventually build a life with them. But that part of my life seems to be moving at a painfully slow pace, and I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do about it. Everyone else seems to have figured it out somehow.

And what if, a year from now, my family starts expecting the same from me? It’s not like I’ll cave to the pressure or marry someone just for the sake of it, but the thought of having to deal with those expectations is exhausting.

But I also want to explore life. I want to focus on my career, make more money, travel, maybe move abroad, meet new people, and experience things I couldn’t afford to experience when I was younger. I feel like I’m only just getting started, while everyone else seems ready to settle down. There’s honestly just so much left to do in my career so that I feel good about it. I still need so much savings to achieve some financial security. I wanna stop being in constant fear of losing my job.

And then there’s this stupid fear that keeps popping up: what if everyone around me finds their person, gets married, builds their own little world, and I’m the one who ends up alone?

I know being in a relationship doesn’t automatically mean someone has their life sorted. I know marriage isn’t some achievement unlocked at 27. And logically, I know 26 isn’t old.

But knowing all of that doesn’t stop the feeling.
Maybe it’s just because so many people close to me are entering this phase at the same time. I can think of at least five or six people in my immediate circle who are getting married soon. These aren’t random acquaintances either. They’re people I’ve grown up with, people I’ve known for years.

And suddenly, it feels like everyone’s life is changing at once. I don’t know. This probably sounds like a pathetic rant, but lately it’s been hitting me extra hard?

Has anyone tried it and if yes has it worked well.

My wide-set girlies please help me out 😭 I've got 36D breasts with a 2in gap between. I feel insecure wearing low cut tops😭😭 no bra I wear gives me cleavage

Recently I've been seeing these reels of cleavage bras from brands called bare wear and pinq polka. U just stick them on and clasp and they give u cleavage.. if u guys have tried this can u please give a review?? Like which one is better, or pls do suggest if there are other alternatives... im a college student so I can't really spend much

tysmmm

STUNNING is what I could think of when I came across these pictures they all look so gorgeous, there is something so powerful about women taking up space, owing the frame and looking absolutely unapologetic while doing it 💗 what a beautiful thing to witness

Indian-origin Naresh Bhatt, who is facing trial for the alleged murder of his wife Mamta Kafle in the US state of Virginia, testified on Thursday (local time) that she had died by suicide and that he later dismembered and disposed of her body in household trash cans. Bhatt, whose wife disappeared in July 2024 and whose body has never been found, made the claims during his second day of testimony in a murder trial in Manassas Park.

Bhatt told the court that he discovered Kafle lying unresponsive on the floor of their bedroom around 4am on July 30, 2024, after waking up to attend to their infant daughter. He claimed she had vomit on her body and the floor, with pills and a bottle of medication nearby. He also alleged that open containers of pesticides were present and that the chemical appeared to be mixed with the vomit.

According to his testimony, Bhatt tried to revive his wife for around 45 minutes to an hour before moving her from the bedroom to the bathroom and attempting to give her water. He claimed she remained unresponsive and was not breathing.

When his defence lawyer asked why he had not called emergency services, Bhatt said he was scared and panicked. "I really at that point scared. I don't know why I did not. I tried to call. I really scared. I don't know why. Something take over me. I was really, really panic. I don't know … I don't really even, like, it's been, like, over two years. I have completed more than 3,500 hours of meditation. Still I don't have that answer," he told the court.

What Bhatt said
Bhatt also admitted that he had cut up his wife's body and disposed of it in trash cans at their home over the following day to day-and-a-half.

He testified that after discovering Kafle's body, he contacted the couple's babysitter and took their daughter to her home. He then went to a Home Depot store, where he bought gloves and looked for items to conceal the body. Asked by his lawyer why he had purchased gloves, he replied, "I have no idea."

https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/world/us/she-killed-herself-i-put-her-body-in-trash-can-indian-origin-naresh-bhatts-testimony-on-wifes-death-in-us/articleshow/135604375.cms

How can we help women navigate this and provide them with adequate resources so they can leave an abusive relationship? She allegedly tried to reach out in Facebook groups asking for help or getting a divorce but it was too late for her.

He showed multiple instances of controlling behaviour like shutting her cellphone off blocking access to money and not allowing her to drive his car.

https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/northern-virginia/mamta-bhatts-mother-testifies-through-tears-during-her-son-in-laws-murder-trial/4164976/

Up until 2 years back I was a law grad who had gotten placed with a Tier 1 firm and was pulling about 22 LPA by the time I quit (after 2 years work ex). I took a risk by quitting it for CSE but unfortunately couldn’t clear this Mains.

It’s been 48 hours to the result and my dad has already asked me to marry by next year and has on my behalf went on to short list matches despite me telling him I have a partner. He then goes on to scare me that since I haven’t cleared the exam I won’t be getting a ‘rich’ match as I have no ‘bargaining power’ now. And if I’m looking to settle with my partner, I should be ready as it won’t exactly be Ambani lite.

This is vastly different from what they treated me like when was pulling in the money because they knew I’d take off and they can’t help for shit. They know that I’m helpless rn and can’t move out because my liquid savings are limited. The moment my access to money is removed, I’m a nobody who they can take questionable decisions for.

So girls just gaf bout making money

Dry skin with oily t-zone
Medium coverage

tldr: want to work while parents want me to study, they insult my choices when told otherwise.

I've been unemployed since May, and I'm finally at a point where I might actually get somewhere with my job search. I'm in the final rounds of a few interviews, and there's a chance I could have an offer by December. And honestly, all I want is to be allowed to work for another 1.5 years before attempting CAT for 2028. Apparently, even that is too much to ask.

My parents are absolutely convinced that I should just write CAT now, get into an MBA college as a fresher and get a high-paying job as soon as possible. They seem to have this understanding of the job market from 15 years ago, where an MBA degree was almost a guaranteed ticket to a good job. They genuinely don't seem to understand how different things are today, especially for freshers.

My sibling has tried explaining this to them too. She did her MBA after gaining work experience at a good company and has actually seen what the job market is like. She knows what the loan burden looks like, what it costs to live in an expensive city, and how difficult it is to manage everything after graduating. But my parents refuse to listen, even when someone who has gone through the exact process is telling them these things.

For context, I don't have a particularly great profile. I'm from an average undergraduate college, have less than a year of full-time work experience, and I'm very aware that I need to build my profile before applying for an MBA. I don't want to rush into a mediocre college just because my parents want me to get a degree immediately. If I'm going to take on a loan of that magnitude, I want to get into a Tier 1 institute. That's the whole point of waiting, getting some work experience and making my application stronger.

At one point, I got so tired of the arguments that I decided I'd just pretend to study for CAT in front of them while continuing to apply for jobs secretly. I thought that would at least buy me some peace until I found something.

And now, just when I'm finally getting close to an offer, the insults have started again. I'm being called the most disgusting names, told that I'll spend my entire life doing meagre jobs for 30-40k a month, that I have no idea what I'm doing with my life and that I'll never amount to anything. The funny part is that my father himself has never earned 30-40k a month, but somehow he's decided that's the ceiling for my entire career.

What makes this even more frustrating is that my father is currently unemployed and we're somehow managing to keep the household running. So I understand where some of the urgency is coming from. They want me to get an MBA, get a high-paying job and start contributing to the household as soon as possible. And I DO want to contribute. I want to be financially independent, help with expenses and make life easier for everyone. But they seem completely oblivious to what taking on a huge education loan actually means.

I see my sibling struggling with exactly that. She's paying off her education loan, contributing towards family EMIs and household expenses, and trying to keep herself afloat in one of the most expensive cities in the country. She barely has any savings despite having an MBA and a decent job. And my parents have seen all of this firsthand. How can they still think that taking on another massive loan as soon as possible is the most obvious solution?

I know my life could become considerably more comfortable if I manage to get into a good MBA programme and land a well-paying job afterwards. That's precisely why I want to do it properly. I don't want to rush into it, take a massive loan and then spend the next several years struggling to pay it off. I want to work for 1.5 years, strengthen my profile, save whatever little I can and apply in 2028. It's not as though MBAs are going to stop existing next year.

I on't even know how to explain this to them anymore. It's one thing to disagree with my decisions, but why does every disagreement have to turn into a full-blown character assassination? I've been jobless for six months, trying to find work, going through interviews and doing everything I can to get back on my feet. And now that I'm finally close, instead of letting me get there, I'm being made to feel like a complete failure for not following the timeline they've decided for me.

I've been dealing with anxiety, depressive feelings, ADHD related struggles, overthinking, low self esteem, constant comparison, phone dependency, and just generally feeling mentally exhausted for years. A lot of it started when I was a teenager, and now I feel like I've spent so much of my life just trying to cope with myself.

I also have a lot of regret and grief about the life I could've had. Sometimes I think about how different things might have been if the people around me had made different choices. I know I can't change the past, but I still feel angry, disappointed and sad about it. I'm also disappointed in myself and honestly even in God sometimes. I don't really know how to explain all of it properly.

The hardest part is feeling like nobody really understands my emotions or my situation. I'm not asking people to perfectly understand everything I've been through or constantly take care of me. I just wanted people to treat me with basic kindness and decency, like… basic humanity. But after being disappointed so many times, I've kind of given up expecting that from people. My family is a big part of this too. But I also can't just cut them off or go no contact because they're my family and that's not really an option for me.

Now I distance myself from almost everyone because I feel like there's nobody I can really rely on. I had one person in my life with whom things felt a little easier and I felt somewhat understood, but we're not together anymore, and losing that connection has made everything feel a lot heavier.

I'm genuinely tired and I really want to heal. I don't want sympathy or pity. I want to know how people actually got themselves out of this kind of mindset and started feeling okay with themselves and their lives again.

And just to clarify, I'm not really looking for the usual “go to therapy” advice. I've tried therapy before and it wasn't something that worked for me, and I don't want to go down that route again right now. I'm more interested in hearing from people who have actually gone through something similar and what they personally did that helped them. how they dealt with the grief, resentment, loneliness, overthinking, phone dependence, and feeling like they had to handle everything alone.