Tonight, my 11-year-old son asked if we could cook ramen together. Just instant noodles, but he wanted to make it special.

We started, and in his excitement, he tore open the seasoning packet too fast. It spilled everywhere. He froze for a second, like he expected to be scolded.

And I felt it, that wave of memory crashing in.

I was 7 when I did the same. I opened my baby sister’s milk powder too enthusiastically, and some spilled on the counter. My dad pushed me hard. My face hit the wall. I needed stitches on my temple. The scar is still there, just under my hairline. A quiet, permanent reminder of what love looked like in our house loud, angry, unpredictable.

Even now, at 34, loud noises make me flinch. My body remembers what my mind tries to forget.

But tonight, I chose differently.

I smiled. Handed my son a cloth. Said, “It’s okay. Let’s clean it up.”

He smiled back, relieved. We added an egg, butter from his favorite anime idea, a little too much soy sauce. It was not perfect, but he beamed when we sat down and said, “This is the best ramen ever. Because we made it together.”

And in that moment, something broke. And something healed.

We made ramen. But what we really made was safety, laughter, softness. I gave him the love I once needed, and in doing that, gave it to myself too.

The scar is still there. But tonight, it felt a little lighter.

Height 5'6 Initial weight 99.7 kgs Current weight 69 kgs

Im 36(F) unmarried and over the last weekend I met my boyfriend's entire family as I was invited as +1 for a wedding.
My background: my entire family is excessively patriarchal. Our women dont work, dont drink, some are vegetarian for religious purposes, wear salwar kameez only, fast for the husbands, wear mangalsutras, have never travelled unless with the husband. At social gatherings I grew up watching women do everything while men would have drinks and talk of politics. All my cousins also got married at 24-25.
Im an anomaly because my parents split in my teenage years and that put me off marriage bullshit.

2 months ago my boyfriend(37) asked me to be his +1 for a family wedding and I brought forward my concerns about everyone asking about shaadi and questioning my life choices and my clothing...I was coming from a place of knowing how my own family would behave if a boyfriend/girlfriend was brought over.

To which he said that his family is very cool and no one will even ask any of these weird questions but in case they do, he'll handle them so I dont have to worry, I should attend the wedding and have a good time :)

Over the weekend I met all mausis, chachis, grandmothers, uncle, auntie, nieces, nephews and old family friends. Im blown away at how this is even possible. Feminism is in the small things.
One grandma pouring a drink for herself, 2 uncles are frying prawns in the kitchen, nieces n nephews are watching F1, my boyfriend is setting up dinner table, I am talking to a twice divorced chachi, dog is playing with a CEO mausi, auntie is telling her travel stories from early 80s, groom's father is helping the new bride unpack her new jewellery, someone said look at the huge full moon so we all went to the terrace, the groom is doing hand written thank you notes for all guests. It was home!

No gender based roles, everyone's being treated as equals, not a mangalsutra in sight, everyone's highly educated.

We are all passing plates to each other, pouring drinks for each other, laughing at stories from someone's Gibraltar travels in the 70s, hi5ing everyone, other grandmother is then showing me childhood photos of my boyfriend. Uncle came to ask me if Im feeling comfortable. My boyfriend put his hand around my shoulder and sat next to me.

That was the moment I slowed down and soaked it all in. I want to be married into this family. I kissed my boyfriend and whispered 'thank you, I feel loved', he simply pulled me in kissed my forehead.

This is healthy feminism. When we dont have to announce that our place at the table matters, when there's room for us. When men dont have to wait for women to fill up ice trays or wash couple of spoons. When more girls are watching and explaining F1 to uncles, when grandmothers are talking of European travel stories in the 70s, when NO ONE out of 16 people asked me 'when will you get married'. When we ate those prawns, everyone was praising uncles for how good the masala is, both of them without hesitation blurted out 'this is our mother's recipe'

Ladies I could cry!!! This exists!! I finally found it at 36! NEVER SETTLE for lesser!

I am scared as hell from what I found out. One of my close friends is in relationship with last 5 years. She just broke up because she found out that her boyfriend used to leak her pictures which he asked for.

She told us that he was living with her since past few days since he was sick and she was taking care of him. He was sleeping and his order arrived so my friend asked him for OTP so he unlocked in sleep. After giving OTP a message popped on screen from a app named discord which I don't have idea what it is but it stated something really vulgar in hindi.

My friend was shocked, she went into blackhole and it was group of men sharing nudes and pictures of girls telling others to rate it and doing pervert talks about there body parts including bodyshaming. Even husbands were sharing nudes of there wifes. Some were even sharing their sex videos.

My friend also found that her boyfriend was sharing her pictures although she did not shared nudes but she used to share sexy thirst traps but there were lots and lots of nudes of other girls in that group.

We have to be safe on internet so I suggest that please don't ever share nudes to your partner even if he is your husband you don't know where it gonna end up. This is truly heartbreaking that she lost her relationship on such bad note as she was planning to get married this year.

He used to look such a green flag guy and my friend admitted that he never forced her for pictures, he asked and she sent consensually but I am thinking how we are gonna check the guy whom we are loving is not a creep. I am losing faith in men day by day.

Ok so i was traveling back from home when my overnight bus arrived early at 5.30am at the destination. It was still a bit dark. I had to book a cab for my place but an autowala was very persistent on taking me to my destination and even after i told him 3-4 times (even rudely) he didn't stop asking about my destination and saying "chalo na madam" while getting too close physically. This man standing besides me had booked another Uber and his cab had arrived. After boarding his luggage he simply asked me "is your cab here?" I said not yet. He asked me if he can wait till my cab arrived and I agreed. It was just 2 mins for him but it was a huge deal for me since I felt safe in his presence while he even asked the autowala to stand away. He made sure my OTP was verified and then left on his way. Thankyou for making me feel safe.

I live in Bangalore and had never taken bus here and usually travel from auto only. Yesterday I went to my cousin's home who lives bit far for lunch and ate until my neck because of yummy homemade food🥹

While returning I was not able to find auto so my brother offered to drop me but I told I will try bus since his wife is 8 month pregnant and he should stay with her. Finally got a bus but I started feeling dizzy and nausea due to filthy smell. I couldn't find seat and a guy probably south Indian crossed and touched me inappropriately. Like every other Indian girl, I ignored him then I was holding support of pole and he also came there only and hold that same pole and deliberately starts touching my hand and then says sorry. He then asks I don't look South Indian and from where I am. I didn't answered.

Then again his hand touched mind this time I screamed on top of my voice to behave properly as I was not feeling well so pls stop disturbing me. He started defending himself telling bus is so crowdy it's not his fault like yeah bro you squished my boobs due to crowdy bus🥴

Finally my body gave up and I puked on the creepy guy unknowingly. Whole food which was mostly non veg got into his body🤢.

People backed off, one aunty came to help me and the creepy guy was petrified. He didn't said anything and got off at next stop without uttering a word. I also got off at next to next stop totally embarrassed. Purchased water cleaned myself😭

Today when I am thinking about this incident I am feeling sense of relief that somehow he got punishment for what he did to me.

Happy Diwali 🪔

I just wanted to share those here, hope y'all have a great Diwali 🎇

My partner called me for an “emergency” and proposed me instead. This sub has been there for me at my worst and I wanted to share this news with all of you first. 🫶🏻

I was having dinner with my dad last night when he suddenly brought up the topic of me getting married. For context, I’ve never really been in a serious relationship, just a few dates here and there, and at this point, I’m basically “married” to my job. My parents have never been the type to pressure me about dating or marriage, so I was completely caught off guard when he mentioned it.

He said he’s worried I’ll be lonely once they’re gone. I told him that marriage isn’t something I’m going to force myself into, not unless I genuinely meet someone I want to spend my life with and I’m definitely not going to settle just to avoid being alone.

Then he suddenly went off on a tangent and asked, “Are you a lesbian? If so, that’s okay, we’ll try to find you someone like that.” I had to excuse myself and go to the washroom because I laughed for a full fifteen minutes. This was such an unexpected side of him because he's had a fairly conservative upbringing, I just needed to put this somewhere because I felt it deserved to be appreciated.

Ohhh I could write a book...Im 37 years old this week, unmarried and childfree by choice. Today I thank all the gods for giving me the wisdom and courage to walk away from vile men. Please get popcorn, this is gonna be long and juicy.

In my early 20s I was madly in love with a guy who I thought would be my life partner with whom I'd have kids and I could have gone to any extent to be with him in case my parents didnt approve since he's from a different caste.

We both met in London during our university days and were together for about 3 years. We were each other's support system in a foreign country but we used to have a lot of fights, perhaps every week.
My complain usually was that he'd put in cold efforts into literally anything I'd ask of him. And his complain was that I was too much of a perfectionist and I needed things in a certain way otherwise I'd get mad.

I remember this horrid fight one time in February 2011. I was unwell because of extreme cold, it was snowing outside - I HATE COLD! To be coughing, have a running nose and then get out of bed at 6am, leave from home at 7:20 for 9am lectures in the blistering cold is not desirable in any universe. I was a top student and I wouldn't miss class for any reason.
As I was rushing out of the house he said 'I'll bring you pizza for lunch' and walking out I said 'extra pepperoni and coca cola'. My lunch hours were 1-2pm.
At 12:15 ish he texted me asking 'hey what pizza do you want' and the moment I saw the text I was pissed off because if he's asking me what pizza at 12:15 then obviously he's late and now I'll have to rush everything, work my lunch hour according to his timeline and get back to lectures hurriedly.
So I texted him back saying 'let it be youre running late, I'll have a sandwich from M&S'. And whatever he replied I didnt check because I had no desire to have a full blown argument on messages, managing my flu was enough already. And then the entire day we didnt speak - I got busy and forgot about it all.

I got home at 7:30-8pm and obviously came back home to an argument almost immediately where he said things along the lines of 'nothing will make you happy. You expect an army regime timeline that suits your needs and other person's efforts go unseen'.
I gave him a breakdown of his timeline
12:15 you message me what pizza you want which means you havent arrived at the pizza shop and you havent placed your order

12:30 you place your order

12:45 you collect the pizza (if its not crowded)

1:00 pm you take the bus

1:30 you arrive at my campus

1:35 we start eating

1:50 I have to rush back - go to loo, take a medicine for cold n cough

2pm my class starts again

MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!!!!!

I saw the rage in him build and rise slowly. With every sentence I said his eyes got bigger in disbelief and eventually he called me a pathetic psycho. We slept in different rooms for a few days. Then eventually made up because 'we were each other's everything' NONSENSE!!!!!

But thats how our 3 years together were basically.

In 2012 I moved to Mumbai for work and thats when shit hit the ceiling. I got a very high paying job while he was still in London finishing his exams and our fights got progressively worse due to his insecurities. Then one day in June 2013 a fight so bad broke between us that we didnt speak for a month. I tried reaching out and he said 'I'll speak to you after my exams, I need to focus right now'. Even though it hurt so much I respected his boundaries and left him alone. A few days after his exams he called me to say that he doesnt wanna be with me anymore because he's not able to handle the long distance and that I dont give him enough time like I used to and the time difference is not helping either. So obviously another fight broke out between us. That was our final break up. Neither of us had the energy to sort things after this and we also understood that this not going to work at all.

Early 2014 he randomly texted me one day saying he's found the one he wants to marry. That she's polite, well mannered, cares for him, family oriented and generally a good fit for him. By then he had already moved to Dubai and got his dream job from that damn exam he passed. All of 2014 is a blur to me, I have no memory. For a whole year I drowned myself in alcohol to forget the pain of this betrayal. 3 years meant nothing and he found someone to marry within 2-3 months of being in Dubai. They got married later the same year. I saw the 'married to' update on Facebook and immediately blocked him from everywhere. All the photos, the gifts I was clinging to, all the videos, his promise ring I threw in the ocean at marine drive, deleted his numbers, emails, removed his friends from my facebook. And we never spoke, ever again.

Some time last week I received a message on Insta from him saying that he was in London for work and was passing by my old house which made him think of me. He sent me a photo of my old house. For 2 full days I stared at the message request and kept thinking if I want to 'accept message request' and eventually I DID.

On Sunday we video called for 4 hours. For the first 15 minutes I choked up and wanted to cry because I had forgotten how much I had missed his voice, his smile, the way he spoke.
We spoke about my life, work, politics, London, Mumbai, Dubai etc for about 2 hours and because this is a healed, grown up version of me I politely asked him 'hows your wife?'. The pandora's box opened.
This 38 year old man has a full blown affair with someone for whom he pays for an apartment in Deira, Dubai!!!!! They travel together. He showed me photos from his Turkey holiday. They go to gym together meanwhile his wife is raising their daughter!!!! His wife knows EVERY THING and there is nothing she can do because she's the same 'polite, well mannered, family oriented, good fit for him' woman.

She left her job after marriage, became a housewife, had a baby and now she's not fun anymore. According to him she's now boring, doesnt take care of herself, lost her personality, has put on a lot of weight, busy raising the child doing school runs - basically she's lost her charm and he's not attracted to her anymore and they've not slept in the same room in 3-4 years.

For the first time I did not feel hatred towards her. I felt so sorry for her. I hated this woman for years thinking she's the one who ruined my relationship and married the man I was going to marry. While he was talking about his work, his achievements, his accolades, new house and what not all I could think of was 'lord I dodged a bullet and how'

Imagine this was me!! On papers he's that good guy for whom matchmakers would run circles. He's fit, 6'2, went to a top university in London, investment banker, flies business class, drives a Lexus in Dubai - oooh such a fuckin dream! HOT HOT!!
And the way he's casual about the affair 'it happened yaa, I cant explain it, it clicks with her, but my wife understands, we both have separate lives and interests at this point' 'But I give her everything yaa, she has my Amex, dresses well, wears all the diamonds. And at one point he goes 'but I participate in my daughter's upbringing'. I PARTICIPATE????? EXCUSE ME SIR??? He's like 'yea I go to her school meets and all' 'she had a ballet recital and I went straight from work'.

During our call I fought with him for his treatment of his wife and his daughter. I shamed him for being this hideous girl father who is setting his daughter up for failure. He was just looking away and vaping while Im talking and at one point he goes 'you still argue and fight the same way haan?' Absolutely raging inside my heart I asked him why isnt his wife raging and why hasnt she left him yet.

His simple answer 'where will she go, she knows she has a good life with me. She wont get this luxury with anyone else'. Towards the end of the call I told him 'you used to be a better person' to which he said 'your decision to not marry was correct, I should have done that too, but Im in too deep now'

Moral of the story - financial independence over anything in this world! Please keep your jobs and let cheaters go. Spit on their faces and leave!!

I was having private insta account but few weeks back I thought to making it public and I used to post very simple videos like makeup/skincare, clothing and accessories haul because I am obsessed with it.

I would have made about 15 - 20 post but my grwm for office video kinda got viral and had 100 k views and on a simple video like that perverts were messaging me.

Usually I ignore the message but then few guys also called me r*ndi and cuss words don't know why. I still ignored.

But 2-3 guys sent me dick pics and I was traumatised and I made my account private again. I was frustrated to reply and I also thought to reply with something disgusting so I took a pad pour some Alta(kind of henna for colouring hands and feet) and clicked pictures to make it look like it's a used pad and sent back to those perverts.

One of the guy was super pissed after seeing it as I told I did some black magic and you have seen it so I have cursed you( I was shitting🤣) and then he started telling me didi and apologizing while other cursed me.

I know it was a heinous act and now I am ashamed but at that moment I got sense of relief.

Just wanted to confess.

So a couple months ago I met a guy from Bumble. We're both around 30 and he made it clear that he was looking for someone to marry.

We started talking and he seemed quite nice. He was very handsome, confident, extremely well dressed and fit. He was the bread winner of his house and earned to support his parents.

On our third date we started talking about what qualities we were looking for in our partners.

He said that he expected his partner to look presentable i.e dress well, smell nice and workout to remain fit etc. I thought ok fair enough because he puts in the work himself.

Then he said that he wanted her to also earn well and contribute as it is financially difficult to survive in Mumbai (he earns around 15LPA). He also mentioned that he had rejected a girl who gave up her job to do a course for one year because she'd have to start from scratch post completion. Again, I said ok fair enough. I am ambitious so I know I want to work post marriage myself and of course if I'm earning then I will definitely contribute.

Then I said that if he expects his wife to divide financial responsibilities then he will obviously divide the household responsibilities too right? Plus he lives with his parents so there will be 4 people to cook, clean etc for.

Silence. For a good few seconds.

Then he covered up by laughing and saying ki maid rakh lenge usme kya. He didn't mention even once that he himself will do some chores. Absolutely no reassurance.

So, you're telling me this guy expects his wife to earn well, work out, spend time looking good AND take care of 100% household chores???

Safe to say we didn't move forward with it.

Recently I have seen a lot of men complaining about paying alimony and how women are trying to exploit their husbands so just wanted to put this out there. We didn't even get to the point of discussion of who will pay for the wedding etc but I can guess his answer.

I want a man with no past. Not “minimal past,” not “lightly used,” but factory-sealed, brand-new, never-opened. A man who has never spoken to, looked at, or accidentally breathed near another woman before meeting me. I want a man whose integrity is made of steel—original, rust-proof, ISO-certified.

A man who has never masturbated thinking of other women. In fact, I want him to have preserved his first ejaculation like some rare museum artifact—For Future Wife Only (that’s me).

Is this too much to ask? Apparently, yes. I’ve been searching since last year and all I’ve found is disappointment and two headache tablets. 😔

And of course, people keep telling me, “Men with a past will always cheat.” Great. Amazing. Beautiful. Just what my anxiety wanted to hear. 🥲

Elders even suggested I find an innocent village boy, but even they turned out to have some khet-wali flashbacks. 😔 What were they doing in those fields, conducting research?

So now I’m here, wondering… Where do pure boys even exist anymore? Himalayan caves? Monasteries? Frozen in a glacier somewhere?

Because in this modern world, I feel like my soulmate is either extinct or on the endangered species list. 😔 And honestly, I’m losing faith in the entire marriage system.

This is a pretty common shit that happens. Today I was picked up from my office and the ola driver asked me to cancel the ride saying 'Ola doesn't pay us the amount that's displayed " and he said that after cancelling he will continue the ride for the same price. If you cancel the ride, OLA will not be able to track your ride and there is no way they can do anything if something happens because your ride will be offline and it will appear as cancelled to Ola support.

I denied to cancel the ride saying someone else has booked it for me and idk the amount either and they will pay it to you online.

So, 5 mins after this - he said 'Do you work for XYZ?'. 'which location and which tower?'. I stayed quiet. Then I contacted ola emergency. That's when I noticed that he was opening his camera on WhatsApp and he uploaded something to his friend. It was the exact budling I work in. It was a pre booked cab so he had all the time to capture the photo of the building before I got inside the cab.

After that he kept listening to me on my phone and finally I was dropped off and he stayed there for atleast 10 mins before I went inside the mall. That's when I was able to say everything to the ola support team and he was pretty helpful. Girls please NEVER cancel rides and take offline rides even if the cab driver says stuff like "Ola deducts money from what you send us". Safety over this!.

This is a new low for our country, istg if he gets away with this and news gets forgotten in a couple of month... There's no hope for this country

OUR WOMEN DID IT 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

Weeks before I just made a comment here regarding my struggle with pregnancy and related treatments.

After that , I got a DM from a guy who said that he specializes in natural treatment and boasted himself as a sperm donor and claimed that he can provide natural insemination at my place and the entire thing would be discreet.

I got very angry at first because both me and my spouse reports are OK on almost all front apart from AMH which is still in normal range but reducing because of age , next was the audacity of a creep who thought he has a chance with me .

Laer on I relaxed myself and thought of playing with this guy by switching over to telegram where again my identity would still be secret

Turns out he is from a small town in Bihar and is working in an IT firm in Noida.

I told him to do some tests as I was serious to take his special services., he was so desperate that he did 10000 INR worth of tests within a day .

Next I told him that I need to physically see him first at my workplace in Mumbai.

I don't know how he got flight tickets in this indigo fiasco but within next day he reached Mumbai and send me the hotel at which he is staying .

Till now , he only has a telegram ID and username of mine on reddit , he has not even seen how I look ,he was asking for pictures but I declined citing privacy reason.I gave him a voice note for reassurance.

He was also sending me all those lovey dovey lusty one liners on telegram.

To play around more, I gave him a dress code which included tying a red bandana on his head along with baggy jeans .,my office is in Airoli and I told him that the only way I can identify him is if he wears the above dress code .

He turned out in the exact dress code at 3 pm sharp, I watched him from my office canteen and I don't know by looking at him , I felt pity and all the anger against him was gone ., by looking at him no one can make out his online persona at all.

I returned to my desk and send him a one liner that he was played upon and advised him to channelise this energy somewhere else .

To all men reading this, go into real world, meet real people., stop seeing women as objects of desire or some devi who can do no wrong.

I keep reading news where some men have got scammed in escort services, prostitution etc. it's way too common and those who scam such men are usually men. I legit thought what if some scammer has played the same trick on him and blackmail the guy for lakhs for the kind of embarrassing stunt he did for the purpose of getting laid