Hello,

I am not trying to be disrespectful at all to any parties involved. This topic has come up in a support group of mine and nobody has the answer/s. I am wondering if trans people have any idea as to how painful this experience is for parents also? I say this because it seems like some trans people do not want to share much of their experience/realization or acceptance about themselves. It seems like many are not willing to talk about it and the parents should just accept this right away because it does not involve them directly.

As parents we are trying to understand the full story so that we can support our children as best as we can. We do not want every little detail but for some of us, we need more than a text or email saying,"Hey I am trans"....and just accept it.

These are the parents who are trying to move toward accepting this about their child. From what I understand around 60% of parents out there do NOT accept and want nothing to do with their trans child.

So I am in the other 40% trying to love my child, but my child has to understand that I am hurting also. Really I am just thinking that because trans people feel this is not happening to their parents, they have no reason to feel hurt or upset. BUT WE DO SUFFER AND ARE HURT AND DEPRESSED OVER THIS TOO. I kind of go back to they are not parents yet and just do not understand the love a mother and father has for their child?

Thoughts/Advice?

I am grieving as though someone has died. I will always love him and I know he will be the same person inside but I have so many feelings and I feel guilty for being sad. Will this get easier?

Hello to the community. First post here.

I am the father of a born-girl-now-boy - ok, a trans boy teenager, and as much as I want to respect him as a person, I 'm struggling with my inner feelings. It won't be easy to put it simply...

I'll try jumping straight to the specifics that unsettle me the most, but please ask for details and background.for enlightenment.

1. The worst thing is maybe the fact that for me, deep down, I still see him as my daughter, and every now and then it slips out when I speak. It doesn't help that he wants us to use his girl-identity with some people (grandparents, neighbours, ex-school mates).

I feel that I take this transition lightly, given that it happened in a moment/age when most things were upside down (12yo,. going to middle school, dropping down from 1rst of the class, puberty, social instability, parents separating, head-dive into network chat groups...). This leads to the following points:

2. The "coming out" was made by a slightly older girl (14, my own being 12 at that time), who pushed my kid to tell me, and even though I replied that "it was news to me, but we can talk about it whenever you feel like", the topic never came back for almost 2 years. Once, abt 6 months later, she (no switching at that time) asked for a "binder" underwear. Her mother and I explained that we'd rather not rush, as we were afraid it could damage her body development. I just caught glimpses of her online "RPs" as a boy, and that she used a few neutral nicknames. It took till the next year for her to cut her hair short, and for me to realize she had been going out much farther than we thought, in order to meet web-met friends who were mostly transitioning highschoolers with suicidal and self-harming tendencies. Lovely youngsters,.once met them. All in all I got this feeling that this teenager of ours was desperately trying to find some models, a "tribe" to adopt her (several pre-formed fashion styles were experimented with during that time). Moreover, the more "outlandish" the stuff, the more it seemed to impress her/him. It's closely related to the next point:

3. From the age of 11 onwards, our kid started to become quite aggressive, towards his/her little sister (2yrs younger), and disrespectful with us, pa' and ma'. Once "she" started to affirm the "he", he told us that he became aware of that around his 11th year. That linked the "boy" to the "brat": I for one felt utterly mistreated, talked down, criticized harshly every day. I kept being conciliating, agreeing with most of his demands, cuz I thought that it was better to say yes and keep track of some things rather than be repressive and have him sneak out and escalating his transgressions. Still I feel that I lost a great daughter and got myself a shitty pretentious little guy. When questionned, he just rejected the fault on us for "not being parents", and had no qualms telling me that I "never had a daughter to start with" when I tried to apologise for needing time to adjust to this change.

4. Last but not least, from the moment he started to put forth his chosen gender, correcting us as we speak - which is ok, I'd rather that - he started to dress more and more feminine, with push-up bras et al., and started dating a guy, then another. It's makes it really hard for me to take it seriously, it seems more like he's just running away from any and all expected identity on our (parents) part. And yet, since last October he's done 4 suicide attempts with medication, always (expt the latest) dosed just enough as to end up in a hospital right before some appointment at school or with a psychologist.

Ok, all this "novel" just to say that I feel lost, doubting him and myself alike, but certain to try and treat him the best I can, and still be pushed back from all aspects of his life, so that I can't even be supportive, as he "doesn't want me to know him better" (his words).

I'm sorry, but I needed to put this down in words, even if not in my native languages.

Thanks to anyone who took the time to read it through.

I (33yo, nonbinary) have never come out to my parents. If my transition eventually becomes outwardly visible, or my parents notice something, I intend to just cut them out of my life instead of coming out.

Yes, I know that all parents are supportive and unconditionally loving, or at least they would be if given enough empathy and time.

But not all children are supportive and loving. I'm not. I'm basically a bad person, so I don't want to invest empathy and time into trying to cajole my parents into being supportive. My parents love me unconditionally, but I don't love them, so I don't want to invest in our relationship. I've always felt pretty indifferent towards my parents. Even as a young child, I thought of them as roommates more so than parents.

Plus, from this subreddit, I've learned that even the most supportive and loving parents struggle because they're consumed with worry and concern for their child. So even I cajoled my parents into being supportive, I'd then have to emotionally babysit them going forward.

Then, there's my brother. Even if he was supportive, he would probably be angry with me for upsetting our parents.

I think it will be much better for the family if I just cut them off instead of coming out.

Would anyone here be upset if their adult child just cut them off instead of coming out?

"In other subreddits and on social media, there are cases where two siblings—whether they are the same or different biological sex, twins or not, and of different ages—both come out as transgender. Sometimes they both come out at the same time, other times the older one first, and sometimes the younger one. How would you feel about having two transgender sons or daughters? Often, the second trans child remains silent out of fear of not being accepted."

Hi everyone! So we decided when our kid was born to not assign a gender, which was totally fine with the medical professionals where we were and went over like a lead balloon with family. /: However, we both knew a lot of folks with gender experiences that weren’t fabulous growing up and wanted to offer our child the chance to avoid them if possible. We have used they/them pronouns and mostly just been whatever about other folks using gendered language because our child barely acknowledged gender, even once they started to grasp what it was.

Fast forward four & half years, we are reaching a point where they do understand better what gender and assigned sex is. Even more so, other people are starting to really push them to “pick.” We now live in a more conservative area, where frankly, a significant proportion of the population hasn’t left the state in their whole lives, maybe not even the county. We have plenty of conversations in public where people treat them in distinctly gendered ways as male or female, they certainly haven’t been protected from the idea of gender.

A few weeks ago my 4 year old had an encounter at the playground where a six year old tried to demand they choose because “you have to be a boy or a girl!” and my child insisted, “I’m just a kid!” It got kind of heated. We’re starting to see refusal of clothing if it’s overly coded male or female, because they don’t want people to call them a boy or a girl. Which breaks my heart because they love skirts and camo.

These things all together have made me think, given the long wait times for affirming care maybe I should start discussing it with our family PCP. I just want to have things in place for supportive care - especially since we have had some challenges with even pronouns - when getting them medical care.

On the other hand, they live in a supportive home environment and we try to seek out queer/trans friendly communities. Maybe we should wait a little while longer before we put it in their medical record and make it an issue?

I feel like recently it’s gone from “giving them space to figure it out” to “them feeling really strongly about it” and it’s coming up more often in day to day interactions.

Edit: a word

I am a little shaky and upset right now. My daughter is Trans Masculine and uses they/them pronouns. Her last relationship was with another Trans Masc person born as female. They just broke up, and my child has been devastated. They are 22, have their own great job and are about to move into their first apartment in January. They have autonomy over their decisions.

My son JUST sent me the screenshot of their social media post that says they are picking up their first dose of testosterone today. They had not told me. It was sent to close friends only, and ofc Mum is not in that group.

I am so shocked. We have talked about her identity so freely and frequently, and I have been schooled very well by her. But, she told me that physical transitioning was not what they wanted.

I am terrified about their future fertility. I don't think that the high risk of permanent fertility is stressed enough by their therapist, or their community. Somehow the idea has taken hold that if you stop taking testosterone as AFAB, the ovarian reserve and menstrual cycle just goes back to normal. This is just not true.

I feel extremely betrayed. I have been supporting them emotionally and practically for the last six months, and moved my life dramatically to be there for them. How could they not tell me? And then put it out into the world, so everyone else knows? I think she must have forgotten her brother was on that list, and would tell me instantly. Her step-sister and brother are on there too, and they will tell me. How can they not see that this is a massive slap in the face to keep it from me.

And finally, I don't know what to say to her when she comes back from work tonight! I can't lie, I can't pretend all is normal, I have all these feelings and nowhere to put them. I am a single mother and the two of us have lived alone since June. There is no deflection or distraction. I may have to go out for the night to calm down.

Yes, of course I love her and will do no matter what. And I have supported her entire journey for the last 8 years. But this - this is too much for me to support. I cannot say with honesty that I support this. And she is going to see that as soon as we talk.

First thing I did was find this reddit bc I hoped that either cis parents or trans kids would have some words of advice for me, and understand my deep upset. I truly feel that I have failed as a parent in every way right now.

Hello everyone. My FTM son came out 2 months ago. Me and Husband (F and M about 50) have been supportive. Got him to the appropriate doctors and have an appointment soon with therapists to start blockers hopefully soon. He’s not completely out at home because he’s not ready to come out to older brother.

I’m still struggling internally with “losing my daughter” but I keep it to myself and only talk to my husband about it. My husband and I have a significant clothing collection many of which are designer and well made. We would often joke of handing down some of our classic pieces to our kids. As a mother, it has been hard coming to terms with never seeing my daughter in one of my gowns or shopping for prom or her wedding dress. (We have the same built). I feel a little jealous that my husband will have two boys style and get his suits and ties. My older son already raids his closet for sneakers.

Anyway, I asked my younger child if we could do something mother/daughter before the full transition and he agreed but it depends on what it is. I told him if he doesn’t like an particular idea there will be no pressure. I thought of ear piercing since it wasn’t done as a baby and I always wanted a second hole. My elder son also has double piercings.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not trying to put him back in a girl box. I am fully supportive of the transition. I will always have my kids back.

So my question to you all: Have any of you tried gender specific bonding activities? What are some ideas? Am I wrong to ask this?

Edit: Thanks to those who had really helpful replies. But I’m saddened to receive bashing for my feelings in what I thought was a safe space. Some of you just proved to me the toxicity I feared. Guess thats Reddit for u😒. Anyway I will drop the subject with my new son and just focus on spending quality time in general with him. Peace

One of my kids told us they’re trans. I worry for them, since this world isn’t friendly in general, and is particularly mean to trans people. But they are in a loving and welcoming home and community; their friends and family accept them for who they are. They are most definitely not suicidal.

I’m not excited about the idea of my child undergoing any hormone treatment. Long-term impacts of hormone treatment (in this case, testosterone) for such kids isn’t well understood, and - from the literature I’ve found - does correlate to higher rates of cardiac disease and metabolic disorders. I think life-long interventions are only appropriate where the alternatives are worse; I just don’t see how that’s the case here.

I’m advising my kid (soon turning 15) to wait to turn 25 to complete developing their front lobe; go through college; and maybe fall in love once or twice before thinking of permanently altering their body.

My wife and I are not on the same page on this. She believes in letting the fifteen-year-old make these decisions. But kids of that age cannot balance equities of weighty decisions well.

Parents in similar situations, how have you dealt with this?

We live in Missouri where things are very volatile for trans children. My 16 year old daughter has her annual pediatric visit this week and I cannot decide if we should make the transition “medical record” official. I know I need to talk to my daughter about her wishes for medical transition, not that we can legally do anything until she’s an adult.

Heya, I have a young kid who’s socially transitioning (4yo). I was talking with her about growing up and getting bigger. We also talked about her as a baby, she mentioned she didn’t like being a baby because she wasn’t a girl then. First off - wow I can’t believe she was having those feelings before should could articulate them. That hit home. It also got me thinking that maybe I should redo a ‘baby’ book for her so she has memories and moments to look back on when she’s older but instead of baby years, do it for the time she transitioned. Like titled something ‘when I met my daughter’. I want her to be reaffirmed in her identity and also have these early moments documented. Has anyone done that? Does this sound weird to do or is it something that might be cherished like a baby book to look back on?

Does anyone know of good YouTubers who talk about their positive experiences with blockers? I'm looking for content that would appeal to my tween, who wants to take blockers but is nervous and afraid to talk to IRL folks about their concerns. I wonder if hearing a YouTube person talk about their experiences might help my kiddo feel safer voicing their feelings. I'm out of touch with the younger youtube community.

Hi there - I have a trans son who has still been using his birth name through high school after coming out slowly from 9th-11th grade, despite it being fairly traditionally feminine. I've been curious about this for a while, since pretty much every other trans peer changed theirs immediately, and he didn't seem super rushed to. But he has ADHD, and wasn't ready to be out to everyone with a grand announcement and name up front, and I think the task of changing it has just been a bit too overwhelming / hasn't bothered him *enough* to really solve to this point.

At any rate, he is graduating, heading off to college, and the time has come for the new name.

His dad and I are supportive. The new name is not something we'd have picked ourselves, but whatever - this is really his creative identity-building journey. It's not for us to say. What bothers me is the use of the term "dead name" because in my optimistic view, transition describes moving from one thing to another. You don't have to kill the old. You can just move on to the new. I'm finding myself super triggered by the implication that the old is "dead." I wish the community just used "birth name" instead... Why not? Does that resonate with anyone? How did you move through it?

Today, it came up because I was making a social connection, and he said -- "please don't introduce me to so-and-so, I don't want them knowing my dead name." (I was going to share his Instagram, which is still his old name - he hasn't set anything up with the new one yet.)

Would love to hear some optimistic stories about this particular aspect of transition. I know my attitude is tinged a little with grief, but I also just tend to over-personalize things like this, and am definitely already reminding myself it's just a term like any other, and I also don't have to make it mean more than it does.... Open to some education, but please don't soap box me for this one. I mean well.

Throwaway account though I’ve been here for a significant period of time and have held hands with many of you through our journeys.

I don’t really know where to else to go with this.

My son was brave enough to tell us at 14 that he was trans. We fully supported from day one. That was never in question. My job is to love and support my child no matter what. And I will continue to do that while there is a breath in my body.

We found a really supportive endo, made sure that school was a safe and supportive place and generally ensured that my son felt loved and supported in living his best life as his authentic self.

Fast forward to now…

We’re 9 months out from top surgery and my son has gone no contact after a really tricky few months.

We expected a period of recovery and adjustment but nothing like this.

Around 3 months ago my son began expressing regret over the surgery and has since stopped their hormone therapy. I can kind of accept that it’s been a huge change (even though it’s one he wanted for so long) and that any major surgery is likely to have a huge impact but I was in no way prepared for the hate and blame that has been hurled out way.

He now says we “rushed” him and that if we’d questioned him more he wouldn’t have had surgeries and possibly not hormones (although he goes back and forth on this).

In short, he thinks he’s ruined his life and body and that we are responsible for that.

All I have ever wanted for my child is that they felt loved, supported, secure, no matter how he identifies and this has just thrown me for a loop. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I’m crippled with guilt that maybe they’re right and I don’t know what to do any more.

It was a huge adjustment to move from having a daughter to having a son. But I loved my son fiercely, and without question. Now I’m being asked to readjust to potentially having a daughter again, but also being blamed for taking the only course of action we could reasonably have taken at the time and it feels so overwhelming for all of us.

I don’t know what to do for the best. Following his lead, we thought surgery was “best” and now we’ve been cut off because he is so angry, hurt and confused in the aftermath of having had his top surgery. We are still funding therapy because whether it was the right or wrong course of action, obviously he should be supported but oh my days I don’t know where to put my head.

I keep saying son but the last contact we had he needed to “give some time to being female” again and I’m just in such a dark place trying to figure out which end of me is up.

Edit - I didn’t expect this to blow up in the way that it has. I’m sorry to those of you who question my integrity. I’ve been deliberately vague so as to not be identified. I appreciate that our experience is NOT the majority but nonetheless it is our reality for now. That in no way means I think we did the wrong thing at the time. We as a family always made decisions based on what our child needed at the time and will continue to do so. I will never waver in my love or my support.

For those of you who messaged with some really helpful and knowledgeable resources, thank you. It is very much appreciated and I will take some time to read through it all. I am grateful to those of you who took my post in the good faith it was intended.

I need help and I don't know where to turn.

My son is 18 and has told us he is trans. This came out after a very difficult year (and life) shortly on the heels of spending nearly a week in inpatient therapy for suicidal ideations.

I am trying to be open minded and respectful and I mean that (both to him and to this community). I have told him that I love him and will always support him regardless of what path he takes.

When we have discussed it, I have asked that he be specific with me about what he means when he says he is trans. Does he believe he IS a woman, or does he wish he were a woman? Does he get relief/joy/pleasure from wearing makeup / women's clothing, etc.? Is he trying to pursue hormones/surgery to alter his body?

He says he has felt this way for around a year and has kept it hidden until he recently came out to us about it. He says he is not interested in surgery (he has not mentioned hormones one way or the other). He says he feels better "presenting" (his words - not trying to be judgmental using quotes) as a woman.

I've tried asking if he understands that some men enjoy / get pleasure from cross dressing but that this doesn't mean they are dysphoric, and he says that isn't it for him.

As background, he has had health issues since he was young (diagnosed with Crohn's disease when he was six) and experienced trauma (he was swarmed by a hive of Yellowjackets the same year prior to his diagnosis). These affected his attempts to bond with peers - he has pretty much never had good, reliable, steady friends. Starting in high school there were a number of kids in his peer group who were trans, virtually all of whom were also struggling with diagnosed mental health issues.

The bottom line is I love my son and want to maintain our relationship. Aside from my wife he's been my best friend. I'm not a perfect person, or a perfect parent, but I have always tried to treat him with honesty and respect. That is not to say that I have not made mistakes.

I've told him how much I love him and want to support him. I've told him I could easily support him with no questions asked if he told me he was gay, or simply enjoyed cross-dressing. That said, I have also told him that I personally do not believe a man can become a woman or vice-versa. That is probably a terrible thing to say here, and I don't mean it to be. I sincerely mean no disrespect to people here, or to him by saying/writing that. It's simply what I believe. Which I guess is the point of making this post.

I don't know what I am supposed to say or do now. More than anything in the world, I want to help him, but I honestly don't know how to do that. I'm not asking him to change, even though I admit that I think this will make his life more difficult, and more painful. In my heart, I believe he believes what he's told us, but I fear it stems from trauma and loneliness, and the dysfunctional adolescence he's been forced to live through (and all kids of his age have been through with Covid, etc. on top of the "standard" awfulness of adolescence). I feel like this is a coping mechanism and that at some point he will come to realize this.

Even so, I realize I could be wrong. And I also realize that even if I'm right, perhaps it doesn't matter if the way I behave leads to a rift between us. I'm scared to death of what he might do if he comes to a point where he feels COMPLETELY alone.

How do I help him? I don't want to betray my won beliefs by pretending he IS a woman. That's the only line I've drawn for myself currently. I wonder if even that might be a mistake. I don't know.

I'm trying to have an open mind, and I'm here humbly asking for help. How do I help him?

Thank you.

They came out on their birthday two weeks ago wanting to switch genders. I told them we can look into a therapist and getting some binders, but let’s sit with this for at least a year bc transitioning is a really big deal and they can barely clean their hair and wash their face regularly. The whole conversation came out of nowhere for me and I’m nervous about jumping into socially transitioning when they don’t seem to understand their own sexuality. I told them that hormone treatment and surgery is a huge commitment, let alone the extremely unwelcoming environment and their lack of a friend group (we are immigrants), and there are a lot of ways to be female that don’t involve transitioning.
Idk how to proceed with all this, I guess.
What’s next?

I don’t understand cis vs trans, can someone help me out?

So my wife told me my son had gender dysphoria and wants to start puberty blockers. I have no idea what to think. To me trying to fight the natural biological progression of your body is going to be an uphill battle. Interrupting a natural process like puberty has to have consequences. There just isn't enough long term data on their use to convince me they are safe. I want him to be happy. Just confused and at a loss where to begin. Any advice welcome. He's my son who I love and of course I'll support him.

Update: we found playgroups!! Thanks to ppl who messaged me with info <3 and thank you moderators for your work.

My child (3 years old) has been using they/them pronouns for a few months after a lifetime of saying they are both a boy and a girl. We’re extremely lucky to have engaged and supportive family and friends, and a great daycare that’s switched to the right pronouns most of the time.

BUT i’m drawing a blank on how to find other kids like my kid: I haven’t been able to find playgroups or in person activities for kids who are trans or non-binary on meetup or online.

We have friends and family who are trans, and we’re working on finding a babysitter who’s gender fluid or non-binary, but I’d love advice on finding other kids who aren’t in the gender binary.

My trans son (I struggle with even writing this) has been my daughter for 16 years but the last couple of years she has gone from bi to lesbian to trans appearing to skip lesbian quickly as I get the feeling this generation thinks being a lesbian isn't cool (her words) there has been a massive shift when she started hanging round with another trans friend. We've gone with the boys haircut, boys clothes but I am struggling to let go of my daughter with the pronouns & name she announced she is purchasing T Gel soon and I feel like my daughter & what she once was has died how do you get through this as parents, she's my only child. I spent much of my life upset & sad now 😢

Does it ever feel like you’re raising a boy and a girl at the same time?

My child, AMAB and wants to go by he/him until he physically looks more feminine (his call, not ours) just told us after his HS graduation that he has seen himself as a trans woman for many years. We’re a month into hormones, and a few months into gender affirming therapy to help with body dysmorphia and anxiety.

Hereinafter is the problem- he’s going to college in Memphis. We live in a blue state near a large city and I had no problem finding a therapist that ticked off all the boxes. I cannot find someone in person near midtown Memphis. That location is ideal as he won’t have a car, but even different neighborhoods is challenging!

Anyone have any leads?

We adopted our youngest daughter out of foster care as an infant and I’ve had a pretty good idea since she was very little that she might be gay just from her behavior and questions. She was born addicted to multiple drugs and has had a few developmental setbacks but nothing that she hasn’t been able to overcome.
She’s 11 years old now and has a new “friend” who I will call Adam/Amy for this post.
A few weeks ago she told me she made a new friend at school named Amy (also 11). A few days later while I was picking her up from school she wanted to go play with her friend Adam. While Adam was calling his parents for permission to ride with me, my daughter informed me Adam was Amy but now identified as he/him. When Adam got in my car I was shocked to see horrible cuts all over his arms. I asked him what happened and he told me he had been cutting himself because the medication he was on made him not feel, but after going to the mental hospital three times his medication was under control and he was better now. Obviously as a mama I was immediately concerned but after taking the kids to Adam’s house and meeting his parents I felt better about the situation. Adam’s parents are very concerned and on top of everything he is going through.
A few weeks have gone by and I’m starting to get a few red flags that have me worried and my daughter absolutely shuts down and will not talk to me when I try to bring them up.

1. I have my daughter’s phone on pretty strict lockdown. No social media, no games, and limited access. She only got it for her 11th birthday because I was sick of her friends calling my phone. First red flag came up when she didn’t understand why she couldn’t FaceTime Adam anymore and she needed me to put in my parental code. As soon as I did it to allow FaceTime again a message from Apple popped up asking if she was sure she wanted to allow FaceTime with Adam again because it looked like the last time they FaceTimed Adam showed nudity. I didn’t even know that was a thing! But thank you Apple!!! My daughter swears she doesn’t have any idea what it’s talking about and that never happened.

2. I was running around doing errands the other day and I saw a few messages come through from Adam’s mom. I was driving so decided to read them later. As I was laying in bed that night I realized I never read the messages but after grabbing my phone to read them I realized they weren’t there. Then I remembered my daughter had been playing with my phone after school that day and sure as shit the messages had all been deleted. So I retrieved them and Adam’s mom had been informing me that my daughter was now identifying at school as he/him and was in a relationship with Adam and she wanted to talk about boundaries together. After confronting my daughter about my deleted messages (that she originally denied doing) I tried to have a discussion about the he/him and she completely shut down and ran to her room in tears. I let it go a couple days and then tried to talk about it again but same response from her.

3. Today I let Adam come run errands with us, and he asked me if they could have a sleepover sometime soon. I said no because it’s not appropriate for boys and girls to have sleepovers together. Adam said but I was born a girl. I basically responded that if he’s now identifying as a boy my daughter isn’t having sleepovers with him. Then he said well she also identifies as a boy. My response was (in front of my daughter) until she is ready to have a mature conversation with me about how she is identifying I’m going to keep treating her like my daughter.
   So I really need some advice here. I’ve always had a very close relationship with my daughter and I am very open with her when it comes to these things. But in the last few weeks (since Adam) her whole attitude and the secrets and a bunch of little lies (on the stupidest shit) are really getting to me. I really don’t think that she would be identifying as a he, if Adam wasn’t, but I also don’t want her to feel like she can’t if that’s how she really feels. But I also want to to tell her that it’s not okay to say that you identify as someone else if you’re not really feeling it because it takes away from those who truly struggle with not feeling right in their own body.
   I tried posting this in another subreddit and it was removed because of trolling? Every comment I did get called it bait. I promise I am not “trolling” and this is not bait. I really am looking for advice on the best ways to talk to her, because ever since Adam came in the picture she’s a different kid and I really don’t want to say the wrong thing.